Work Text:
Diluc stared at himself in the mirror. He stood alone in the bathroom attached to his bed chambers, in nothing but his undergarments. His chest lay bare in front of him, staring him back in the mirror and mocking him. His body had adjusted to a special alchemic solution he had commissioned Albedo for monthly, but yet his chest, it remained the same. He had gained muscle easier, gained more height, his voice had dropped at least three octaves by now. But why must this one thing stay the same?
Diluc let out a long shaky sigh as tears threatened to bubble up onto his long lashes. Staring at himself and his sorry excuse for a males body only brought back rancid memories. All he could remember was the endless harassment and embarrassment he went through during his time as a Knight of Favonius. Painfully wrapping his ever growing chest with bandages only for them to slip off not even an hour later. Bring poked and prodded at by his male colleagues, and the pulling of his long hair that he had worked so hard to grow out.
He stared at the claymore he rested on the sink next to him and reached out a shaken, calloused hand. Taking the heavy sword into his hands he raised it to just below his ribcage. He was going to do this. He was going to do this if it was the last thing he did. Gripping the cold metal in his hands, he took a deep breath as he braced himself for what he knew would be the most painful would he would have to ensure. “One…” his voice was shaking, along with the rest of his body as the blade drew closer to his skin. “Two…" do it. "Thr-”
“Master Diluc~” he heard an ever familiar singsong voice. “Adeline said you would be in here, reading a book most likely." He could hear his brother's footsteps walking around his empty room just behind his bathroom door. His feet, however, were stuck. He couldn't move a muscle, and tears started to prick his newly widened eyes. Footsteps made their way right behind him, the door, Diluc didn't lock the door, nobody in the winery bothered to disturb him when he asked not to be, everybody except Kaeya.
The knob to the bathroom turned, and the red headed man is still glued to his floor, claymore in hand. “Diluc-?” Kaeya freezes. His eye widens as he takes in the sight before him, and after a quick second of silence, his body moves on its own. “Diluc…" quiet panic was evident in his voice as he rushed over to where his brother was standing, blade much too close to his skin for Kaeyas comfort. He wants to scream and shout and throw the sword out of his hands, but all he can do is gently remove it and set it down with a clank.
Cold hands place themselves on warm shoulders, and Kaeyas eye begins to tear up. “What are you..? I don't-.. What do you think you're doing?” His mind clears, and he stares deep into Dilucs eyes. And all the red head sees is worry , and concern, and every other feeling Diluc could think of. And suddenly, he's back to earth, his muscles unfreeze, and tears threaten his eyes once more. He looks away to avoid Kaeyas vindictive gaze, if he looked any longer, he might just cry anyways.
“It is none of your concern, get out-” “No!" Kaeya raises his voice “What do you think you're doing?-” This time, it's Dilucs turn to interrupt “You wouldn't understand!”. Kaeya backs up, Diluc was not one to raise his voice. “You don't know what I have to live with." The younger man stays silent, hands still gently placed on his brothers shoulders. “It's- it's so hard. I hate this, I hate this body, I despise it, so much I would mutilate myself to make it end." Rich blue eyes stare solemnly into crimson, “Diluc… I.. I know, I know I can never possibly understand your sufferage, or your pain or frustration. But this is not the answer”
“What would you know? You hardly know me." “I know you well enough to know that I admire you, I admire your strength, and your vindication. And I know you're smarter than cutting off your own body parts.” Diluc looks back into Kaeyas eye, then down at his chest. “It just.. it's so hard to hide. And it makes me feel like I am lesser.” Kaeya let's out a chuckle and Diluc glares at him for a moment. "Diluc. I swear on the archons you are more of a man than half the men in the Knights of Favonius”
Diluc almost let's out a snicker, and Kaeya smiles. He reaches down to gather Dilucs discarded clothes and briefly covers him, only to embrace him in one of the tightest hugs the winery owner has ever recieved. “You are my brother.” He says in a quiet tone. “And you are more than your body, you are enough as you are." Dilucs arms lay limp at his sides. Kaeya had never spoken to him so kindly or soft, it's only until he let's out a sniffle that he realizes he's crying.
“Shit." he murmurs. He nudges Kaeya off of him as he wipes fat hot tears from his cheeks. “When did you become such a sap?" He asks. Kaeya let's out a quick hum and answers, “Maybe since I saw my only brother trying to cut off his breasts with a claymore?" They both smirk. “I hate you, I hope you know that." Diluc buttons his shirt with a small smile on his face. “Yes yes I've heard it all before." Kaeya lays a gentle hand on the red heads back and guides him out of the bathroom, “Now get dressed, I need a drink and you're the best bartender in Mondstat."
“I do hope you know you're not getting any free drinks from this encounter." He stares at the cavalry captain out of the corner of his eye.
“Damn, I was really betting on it." Diluc let's out a small huff of a laugh as Kaeya makes his way to his chamber doors.
“Kaeya."
“Yes Master Diluc?" he responds in his usual tone. “Thank you." Diluc looks away, hes never been good with gratitude or thanking people. Kaeya knows this.
“Of course.” The blue haired man turns to the door once again. "Also, Kaeya.” Diluc stops him." Hmm?”
“Not a word, never mention this again.” he makes eye contact this time, trying to show him that he's serious, “Please."
“Of course, brother." he smiles.
Kaeya leaves Diluc to himself and it's only then that they realize. This happened to be the first real talk they had had for quite some time. Maybe they really could become brothers again.
But only after Kaeya gets his drinks.