Archive of Our Own ^beta

Choi Soobin isn't a superstitious man, but even he knows his day won't end well when he sees bad omens occur in front of his face.

He should've known something was going to happen later that day when the worn but sturdy shoelaces of his favorite sneakers started breaking at the ends. Or when a passing car barely grazed his side as it skidded around the corner in a hurry. Or when he almost missed his stop at the train station for his week-long paid vacation back home.

He thought the odd instances of misfortune ended when he was engulfed in the warmth of his parents back at their quaint family home in Ansan. Convinced himself that he was just having a bad day when he set down his luggage on the rug of his childhood bedroom and remembered all the things the four walls had witnessed for the better part of the first eighteen years of his life. He even forgot about them altogether when he went downstairs and felt his mouth water at the scent of his mother making some kimchi jeon before he left for a small gathering with his highschool friends that night.

Oh, how drastically would the events in Choi Soobin's life change on that night in particular, and for the rest of the week if we're being honest.

Even if he kept in touch with most of his old friends online, nothing truly beats having them right in front of him. Kai comes bounding over at the first sight of him entering the establishment, and oh god, did he get a second growth spurt after highschool? Soobin laughs heartily when he gets picked up by Kai like he weighs nothing and spins him around until his vision also starts to spin. 

“You made it!” he tells him in an excited tone.

“Kai-yah, put me down unless you want me to throw up on you,” Soobin threatens playfully, laughing when Kai squeezes him tight before setting him on sweet solid ground.

However, his affectionate assault doesn't stop as he hugs him sideways and rubs his belly, like he always did all those years ago. Soobin is endeared that the other's habit still sticks to him even when they're in their late twenties.

Just before Soobin could ask Kai where their other best friend was, he gets pulled into a bone-crushing hug by said best friend. Yeonjun is just as affectionate as Kai; he wouldn't hesitate to verbalize them or put them into action. Soobin never did get used to how familiar his hugs are, like snuggling on a warm blanket during the winter season. 

Even after these years, the other still dotes over him since he's technically a year older despite graduating in the same batch, evident in the way he's named their groupchat as 'Yeonjun and his two babies'. So when he talks in a cutesy tone (like Kai) about his 'little Soobinie not bundling up enough in the cold weather', he has to swallow his pride because he does miss being coddled even if refuses to admit it. The youngest of the trio joins in and they're all huddled in a group hug in front of the restaurant, though it didn't matter as they had the place rented out for this occasion. 

It's a nice feeling, Soobin thought, while he had both Kai and Yeonjun under each arm, to be back with the people that made it feel like he could face anything the world threw at him. Like he's sixteen again and too naive and stupid for his own good. And while Kai's reunion wasn't for another year, he volunteered to be an organizer as an excuse to spend his paid day-offs at work with them. Soobin's grateful for that, seeing as all three of them haven't gotten together like this in a while.

Kai and Yeonjun bring him over to the corner where a multitude of tables and chairs are shoved together in the restaurant, seeing more familiar faces of schoolmates from the past. It was an informal reunion of sorts, gathering a bunch of them before the grand reunion on Friday. There were already a bunch of them really eager to catch up early and well, who would say no to a night of free food and drinks? The establishment was family-owned and the son was also an organizer along with Kai.

To be fair, if it was Soobin's decision alone, he would've declined, but he lets himself be swayed into coercion by his friends anyway. Just old times, where he would be dragged by both hands to do whatever they felt like doing after class.

And although the ensemble was a combination of different cliques back then, it was still really nice to know where everyone else was at this point of their lives. Drinking definitely made it easier for Soobin to reminisce with them about important events-turned-memories from 10 years ago. He mostly still keeps to himself though, joining in when he’s comfortable with the subject at hand.

Besides, as he’s squished between Kai and Yeonjun at the table, he unconsciously falls into routine of taking care of them both, making sure none of them pass out drunk, especially Yeonjun, before they get home. Kai was somehow faring better with his high alcohol tolerance, but he tends to do random things when he’s tipsy. 

The drinking dwindles down by midnight, and most of the people in the gathering have already left. Soobin's about to pull his two friends to their feet when he notices someone in the corner of his eyes shuffling close.

"Soobin-ssi," the voice calls out, and the redhead spins around to face the person, and oh, it's Park Sanghwan from… 3rd year literature class? Soobin can't tell anymore. He's pretty sure the other was teammates with Yeonjun in the dance club, so maybe he was going to say goodbye to his friend before leaving.

But for some reason, he's not looking at Yeonjun's general direction at all - in fact, he was looking directly at Soobin with his face flushed and visibly jittery with nerves.

"Yes, Sanghwan-ssi?" he asks hesitantly, a little surprised.

"Can we talk outside for a bit? I just wanted to tell you something," the other replies vaguely, making Soobin even more confused.

He wanted to ask if privacy would really be that necessary when half the customers of the restaurant were already drunk off their asses, but he held back his tongue.

Soobin follows him out to the corner of the establishment, the chill of the night instantly sobering up what little tipsiness he had. The concrete underneath his feet makes a muted scuffle with his sneakers as he halts face-to-face with the other male. He shoves his hands deeper into his pockets, and looks back at Sanghwan expectantly.

"Okay, so I know this is kind of unexpected," Sanghwan starts, rubbing the back of his neck, "but things will be clear if you just hear me out."

"Alright..." Soobin says in reply, not really knowing what else to say.

"You see, I got relocated for work about a few months ago and happened to find out you were working at the building across the street," Sanghwan begins, making Soobin's eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way! I know I should've approached you earlier but I couldn't find myself to do exactly that…," he trails off, playing with the hem of his shirt.

"B-but anyway," Sanghwan continues, stuttering in his haste to keep talking, "Sometimes after work, we'd be at the same bus stop and I couldn't help but stare at you sometimes because I sort of had a thing for you in the past."

The gears in Soobin's head come to an abrupt stop at that.

For the love of god Choi Soobin, why didn't you realize a lot sooner that he's confessing to you?! The signs were all over the place!

In the middle of Soobin's internal-reprimanding session, the other man groans and covers his face in his hands. "I'm so sorry that made me sound like such a creep," Sanghwan apologizes.

"Oh no, that's…" Soobin cuts himself off before he says that it's fine, because it was totally not fine that someone just admitted in front of his face that he stares at him at a goddamn bus stop of all places.

"It's okay," Sanghwan replies timidly, eyes flickering back and forth with Soobin and the floor, "I already knew how bad I am at this, but it wouldn't hurt to try, you know?"

"So yeah, Soobin-ssi. I kinda really like you, and if you don't have anyone to dance with at the reunion party tomorrow, would you be interested?" Sanghwan finally says, leaving the other in a stunned daze.

After all that he had said, there was definitely no way that Soobin's going to go to the dance with Park Sanghwan. And besides, he's really not interested in looking for a relationship right now of all days either.

Embarrassingly enough, Soobin has only gotten a handful of confessions in his life and they have all ended badly on his end for undisclosed reasons. So like the typical caring and mindful person that he is, Soobin has no idea how the fuck is he supposed to say no without hurting Park Sanghwan's feelings any more when the other is already looking like a kicked puppy at that very moment.

But before Soobin could even try to stutter out a word, Soobin hears loud footsteps stumbling over and suddenly Kai is draped across his shoulder.

"Binie-hyuuung," he says while dragging the last syllable in a whine, "come back inside, we're not done-" Kai hiccups, "drinking yet!"

"I'll be back in a second, Kai-yah, just give me a moment," Soobin replies, but it falls on deaf ears as the other is already pulling him in the direction of the restaurant doors.

Soobin shoots Park Sanghwan an apologetic look, hoping his preoccupied state would make the other forget about his earlier confession. But Sanghwan just says, "I-it's alright! I'll wait until Thursday for your answer. Yeonjun's still got my number if you wanna meet up in town!"

Fuck, just what did he get himself into?

Soobin has a feeling he's going to drink a lot more later.

Yeonjun might be barely sober, but it doesn't stop him from laughing his ass off when Soobin finishes retelling the predicament he's in. Soobin has half a mind to drown him in his mug of beer.

"I thought Sanghwan didn't have it in him to confess!" the older bellows, still trying to stifle his laugh. "You have no idea how many times he's blown up my phone a few months ago to ask about you."

Soobin feels guilty when he gets uncomfortable hearing that. "But hyung, I don't know what to tell him because I feel like saying I'm not interested isn't good enough and it might make things awkward during the reunion," he whines, "Can't you help me out here and write out what I should say that wouldn’t hurt his feelings? You've been asked out a lot of times before."

"That's a tall order you're asking out of me here, Binnie," Yeonjun replies. "When you're turning down someone's confession, of course they're bound to get their heartbroken and are painfully aware of that possibility. That's how it works - if you confess to someone, it's either they say yes or no and you can't just do the latter hoping they won't get hurt. That's pretty selfish to ask of them."

Soobin can only sigh at that, "Of course I know that. But what's like, the least hurtful way of turning him down?"

The other coos at him while ruffling his hair. "You never changed being such a softie, huh?" he says fondly. "But if it helps, if the reason you're rejecting him is because, say, you're taken and already going to the dance with someone else, maybe he'll understand. We're all adults now, ya know?"

Soobin's eyes brighten up at that. "That makes perfect sense! So hyung, can you-"

"Not gonna happen," Yeonjun cuts him off. "First off, Sanghwan already knows I'm single so he won't buy it when we magically become boyfriends overnight. Secondly, we can't be platonic dates to the reunion either because I'm accompanying our homeroom teacher, Mrs. Park, since she still agreed to come even in her late sixties, bless her."

Defeated eyes flicker towards the youngest who was half-listening, almost sober because they tricked him into drinking water by replacing the contents of the bottle of soju with it, "And Kai-"

"Kai's an organizer, he's obviously going to be busy during the event."

Soobin thumps his head against the table in despair. "Now what?" he asks, voice muffled.

Yeonjun gives a thoughtful hum, "I don't know, do you want to hang out with Mrs. Park together instead?"

Before Soobin could say anything, however, he's interrupted by Kai's tipsy hollering at someone across the restaurant.

"Beomie-hyuuuuuuung! Over here!"

Soobin's gaze flickers over to the person the blond's calling over, and he's greeted by the sight of a pretty, raven-haired man with casual wear over his work apron, long hair tied neatly behind him in a ponytail.

Oh, it quickly dawns upon Soobin, it's Kai's fiance, Choi Beomgyu.

"Kai-yah, I thought I told you not to drink too much tonight! Now I have to cancel tomorrow's meeting because I have to deal with your hungover ass," Beomgyu scolds the youngest while making his way over, fussing over him while taking the bottle of soju away from his lover. Contrary to his words, he looks at Kai with a fond look, smiling softly as he presses a kiss on the other's forehead.

They're adorable; Soobin should be repulsed by the blatant display of affection, but he couldn't stop the smile he's directing at the couple. 

Ironic, isn't it? Soobin's trying so hard to come up with how to reject someone's confession when he also wants to love someone the way Beomgyu loves Kai. Even at his age, he's still hoping to experience romance the way it's depicted so pure and unconditional in novels, in tv shows, and in people who have loved one another for so long. And yet there he was, naive and idealistic as before, waiting for the right person to come and turning away anyone else.

He still had half of his mug full, but he downs every drop of beer anyway, numbing the surge of heartache away from his chest into nothing. Yeonjun gives him a concerned side glance, but says nothing.

"Hyungie, you gotta help out Binnie hyung," Kai says, twisting around in his seat to hug the older. "He needs to find someone to act as his boyfriend and date at the reunion." Beomgyu raises an eyebrow at his fiance's words.

Soobin sputters, "Kai, I don't really-" he gets cut off again by someone's phone ringing. Why does this keep happening?

The long-haired pulls out his phone to look at the caller id. "Let's talk later, okay? Hyunnie's calling, probably about work," he says nodding apologetically at the other two.

Kai's face morphs into an expression like he's discovered the secret to eternal life. "That's it!" he exclaims as he snatches Beomgyu's phone into his hand and answers the call.

The raven-haired's eyes go wide as he fumbles to get his phone back, to no avail as Kai stands and leans away. "Kai-yah! Give back my phone this instant!"

In the middle of this entire fiasco, Yeonjun and Soobin are both frozen in their seats, unsure of what to do and if they should intervene.

"Hey Tyunnie, it's me! You're free after your business trip this week, right?" Soobin hears Kai say to the person on the other end of the call. The nickname is familiar, but he can't put a finger on it.

"Great! Then you don't mind being Soobin hyung's fake boyfriend at the reunion right? Apparently he's trying to turn down Sanghwan hyung's confession with a passable excuse like already being in a relationship or something."

Blood rushes to Soobin's head, making him even more lightheaded than he already is. "Yah, Kai Kamal Huening?!" he exclaims as he tries taking the phone from the youngest, but the other easily moves away with a still struggling Beomgyu being dragged with him.

"You will? Great! Binnie hyung will see you on Wednesday," Kai says cheerily, ending the call, still oblivious to the looks of shock and disbelief around him. As Soobin mentally curses every profanity in his vocabulary, he hopes Kai had the excuse of being drunk off his ass or else he's going to be dead in a ditch come morning. He can just ask for Beomgyu's forgiveness when he's done with the deed. 

Yeonjun acts faster than him though, and he’s already stood up shaking the youngest by the shoulders as if that would give him answers. "Dude! What the hell did you just do?!"

Still looking drunk off his ass, Kai replies, "Helping out Soobinie hyung, of course! It's not like I called someone random, cuz it's Tyunnie. You of all people wouldn't be mad about it since it's him, right hyung?" the mint-haired replies, facing Soobin.

"Of course I mind!" he says incredulously, still not processing everything. "Kai, who the hell is 'Tyunnie'?"

At this, Yeonjun, Kai, and even Beomgyu give him confused looks. Is this supposed to be someone that he should know?

"Soobin-ah, this isn't funny. Has your memory gone to shit so early that you forgot about Kang Taehyun and Kai's silly nickname for him?" the eldest asks him.

Soobin feels like a swift punch to the gut knock the wind out of him hearing that name once again after ten years.

Kang Taehyun.

The redhead slowly blinks, and from behind his eyelids a faint image is pulled up from memory. A boy with neat brown hair in his school uniform, back facing him. A familiar, yet hazy sight. With it, came realization and a tiny ache in his heart at nostalgia.

Of course. How could he ever forget Kang Taehyun?

A hoobae that Soobin had a silly little crush on all throughout highschool.

But now's not the time to reminisce about the past. Pulling himself back into what he hopes is his usual self, he says, "Then if that was Taehyun on the phone, why did you think pulling the poor guy into my mess is gonna help? You guys already know that I…"

"Used to have feelings for him?" Yeonjun supplies when he trails off. Soobin can feel heat rising to his cheeks, but doesn't retort back.

"But this is the perfect excuse for him to come here like it's been yeaaaaars since I’ve seen Tyunnie," Kai whines. "You don't have a thing for him anymore, right? I wanna hang out with him and hyungie won't let me tag along when they meet in Seoul for work!"

Beomgyu thumps his lover's head with his own, furiously typing on his phone after finally getting it back. "It's called maintaining professionalism with business partners, you dummy."

"Gyu, is there any way you can message him that Kai was talking nonsense because he's drunk as fuck?" Soobin begs the long-haired man.

"I'm sorry, hyung," the other says apologetically. "I already texted him that but he's adamant that he's going to come. Maybe you should be messaging him instead?"

Soobin could only lick his lips in nervousness. "Alright, can you send me his number?" he asks, and he gets a nod from the other. When he's finished with that, he bows apologetically once again to the redhead.

"I'm really sorry for the trouble my stupid fiance has done, hyung. Your next meal here with Yeonjun hyung is on the house as a peace offering," he says firmly, despite the two eldest trying to deny the offer. "Now if you'll excuse me, I think I need to drown Kai in cold water to sober him up," he adds while firmly dragging away the youngest by the arm. Kai waves at them goodnight, blissfully unaware of his fate.

When the two of them were left alone, Yeonjun could only give him a pitying look and a shrug, gesturing around him at the other staff already closing up for the night.

"Well, I didn't expect the night to end this way, but we should probably get going."

It was well past midnight when Soobin gets home. Silently trudging to his room, there’s too many things weighing in his head for him to fall asleep even in this late hour. He stares blankly at the dark screen of his phone before he mutters a, “fuck it,” and unlocks it to open the messaging app. His thumb hovers over the number Beomgyu sent for a moment in hesitation, but eventually taps it and chooses the ‘message this number’ option.

Even at his age, Soobin still sucks at communication. He knows he should have texted Taehyun at a more reasonable time, but he’d rather have the luxury of saying everything that he wants to without interruption. He starts tapping away the message he had in mind, the therapeutic sounds of the keyboard soothing his nerves somewhat.

Did Soobin cringe at the string of messages he had sent? Definitely.

Was there any way he's going to be able to take it back? Absolutely not.

He just sighs, glad he's got the worst part out of the way at least. He's about to close his eyes and force himself to sleep when his ringtone chimes in his ear and he freezes.

Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no

That wasn't Taehyun replying back, right? Soobin is tired of twists and turns for the night, thank you very much.

But of course, with fate laughing at him and going against his hopes, the notification on his lockscreen says:

New message from Taehyun.

Soobin groans. He forgot to turn his active status off, so Taehyun knows for sure he’s still awake. Expecting the worst, he opens his phone again to read the new messages.

Soobin can only groan some more, not believing that after he gets confessed to, he's being coerced by someone to fake date him! Who the hell even knows what's going on in his life anymore. He's tired, and he can't be bothered anymore to sacrifice more braincells to convince Taehyun out of this agreement again.

To hell with it.

As Soobin slowly drifts off to sleep, nostalgia brings him back to his first month of sophomore year, almost ten years ago. With the gentle breeze of spring billowing softly through his hair, the then raven-haired was tending to the botany club's flower patch with utmost care, picking at the soil to remove sprouting weeds. He hoped that the flowers would once again bloom beautifully that season, and even said as such to the plants as he was tending to them.

Belatedly realizing he had used up all of the water in his pail previously at the row of herbs, Soobin got up from where he was crouched down to refill the watering can at the faucets near the outdoor pool. He appreciated the convenience of this, for the garden to be situated near a readily available source of water, which meant shorter trips back and forth. And he wasn't shy around the swim team anymore either, since their coach made them do ridiculous drills like help the botany club carry sacks of fertilizers and pots to the clubroom when deliveries were made. As he made his way to the pool, however, Soobin didn't see the swimming club members or any freshmen in sight, despite it still being recruiting week.

Or so he had thought.

"Excuse me, but we have the–" a voice behind him suddenly piped up, making Soobin jolt up in surprise and slip on a nearby puddle of water.

Soobin let out a squeak at his body's swift descent from gravity, but he was thankfully stilled by an arm catching him midair. He blinked, feeling like a puppet without strings from where he's still being supported on his backside, locking eyes with an unknown boy, his face filled with concern.

"I'm sorry for startling you! Are you okay?" the boy asked, helping him plant his feet back on the ground again.

Snapping out of his dazed state, Soobin now felt embarrassment creep up his face and redden his ears and face. “Y-yeah! Sorry about that, I get really jittery at the smallest things.”

The other also got a little red in Soobin’s eyes, making the latter’s flustered state subside a little. “Oh no, I promise I didn’t do it on purpose,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “I probably should’ve tapped you on the shoulder first. Anyway, I was trying to tell you we had the water pipes turned off to drain the pool so there's no water running in the tap.” After saying this, the other boy motioned to the watering pail that escaped Soobin’s hold during his slip and ended up on the ground.

At the mention of the pool, Soobin blinked and belatedly took in the appearance of the other boy in front of him. Seeing the goggles pulling his brown hair back and the rashguard that he’s wearing, the raven-haired boy realizes he’s part of the swim club, although he didn’t recognize him.

And Soobin really, really tried not to fixate on the fact that he could see the faint outline of the other’s toned muscles, but the thought lingered at the back of his head anyway.

“Oh! I didn’t know that,” he raven-haired replied, bowing stiffly at the other boy. “Sorry. And thanks for the quick reflexes, I would’ve ended up with a concussion or something, uh…”

“Kang Taehyun,” the swim club member quickly supplied his name, also bowing back politely. “First year, and I joined the swim club this week. Also no problem, I shouldn’t have startled you in the first place.”

“It’s fine since no one got hurt,” the raven-haired said reassuringly. “And I’m Choi Soobin, second year and in the botany club.”

Taehyun hummed at this. “Botany club, as in the students that use the greenhouse next to the pool?"

The older tilted his head at this. "Yeah, that's us."

"Okay, well, the coach assigned the freshmen to carry the supplies you guys ordered this month as part of our training regimen," Taehyun said while groaning. "This is the first that I've heard of this type of exercise."

Soobin smiled at him with sympathy. "Trust me, the coach does it every year like an initiation to the newcomers. Guess I'll be seeing you more often then, Taehyun-ssi?"

At that, the younger also flashed a smile at him. "I guess it does, Soobin-sunbae."

Soobin can't count how many times he's wiped his hands on his jeans, but they keep getting clammy no matter what he does. He hasn’t been this nervous since the day he helped Kai propose to Beomgyu, and that was over eight months ago. It’s not like he hasn’t seen Taehyun’s face once in the ten years he hasn’t spoken to him. He comes across the other man when he’s mindlessly scrolling on social media apps, so of course he knows he looks (as attractive as ever) pretty much the same with some of his features a little more mature than before. 

He’s repeated himself dozens of times early that morning that he shouldn’t make this a big deal — wake up at his normal time, wear his normal clothes, and style his hair the usual way. But the closer the clock ticks to their agreed meet-up time, the more Soobin gets self-conscious and curses himself that he should’ve at least put a little more effort to show how much he’s changed after last seeing Taehyun.

Kang Taehyun, the person he’d expect to see the least after he drifted away from his orbit voluntarily. After all that effort to forget him, Soobin now finds himself remembering every single memory he’s shared with him.

Soobin never really expected to see Taehyun outside of club hours, but was surprised by how much their friend groups overlapped in the first two years that he had met him. He went to the same middle school as Yeonjun, and he was classmates with Kai in their second year. He hung out with them from time to time, but Kai, Yeonjun, and Beomgyu didn’t find out about Soobin’s crush on him until well into his senior year.

That was because Soobin himself hadn’t come to terms with himself that he liked Taehyun up until that point. But deep down he always had a feeling he started to see the brunet more than just a hoobae from another club the more he knew about him. Taehyun made it a habit to visit him after practice, even when his coach didn’t need him to carry anything for the botany club and after he became a second year student. It was a nice change of pace since the botany club didn’t have a lot of students, and Soobin was mostly alone after class as the other club members tended to the plants in the morning.

The older boy had joked at the time he might as well be a member of the botany at how often he was there, slowly learning to take care of the plants himself through Soobin’s guidance.

But Taehyun merely looked at him for a long time and the other swore he could see sparkles shimmer in his eyes as they glistened under the afternoon sun.

“Cool, that means I get to call you captain if I was,” he said.

That made Soobin sputter as he pointed out that while he was the president of the botany club, sports clubs were the only ones who used that title for their leaders. Taehyun wouldn’t listen and the nickname stuck until Soobin graduated.

Maybe that was the moment the older started developing a crush on him, or maybe he was already in the process of falling at that point. Either way, the moment Soobin realized he liked the younger, he seriously considered confessing and to spend what’s left of his highschool life experiencing romance his friends always spoke dreamily of.

But he chickened out at the last minute. He couldn’t. There was no way he could tell Kai and Yeonjun that, so he made excuses and moved on with his life after highschool. If his best friends noticed his bluff, they never brought it up with him.

That’s why he should be fine now. He doesn’t like Taehyun anymore. He moved on.

These words that Soobin firmly repeated in his head like a resolution crumble into fine dust and escape his grip, when the bells of the entrance door to Mrs. Hong’s cafe jingle and he looks up.

The man walking into the establishment had fine, defined features — the way Soobin remembered him having. His dyed blond hair immediately sparks attention with how well it suited him. He was in casual wear, and yet it was like he had just stepped out of the runway to be here. The coat draped over his black turtleneck did nothing to hide his broad shoulders, and the denim jeans tucked under his top perfectly highlighted his long legs effortlessly.

The man entered the cafe with a poker face. But the moment he locked eyes with Soobin, his already wide eyes become wider, and they curve into happy crescents as he smiles and makes his way to the other man.

Seeing Taehyun in the flesh after such a long time makes Soobin remember his favorite song when he was in highschool. 

He can’t remember the exact title now, per se, but he’s certain it’s a foreign rock song of some band Beomgyu introduced him to around the time he started hanging out with them as Kai’s boyfriend. The title isn’t the point here, it’s the fact that he’s played it on his worn, second-hand phone so much in the past he could probably still sing the entire song at the top of his lungs if you played it for him.

It’s the way the song is familiar, yet hits different now that you’re a little bit older. After going through so many uncertainties in life you can’t help but listen to it and be instantly transported to the past when things were less complicated. Even if it’s meaning to you has changed over time, it’ll never stop being a part of you.

What was the point of this line of thought again?

Right.

Soobin found the same comfort in listening to his old favorite song in meeting Taehyun again, and they haven’t even talked yet.

Oh fuck.

Time felt like it had stopped while Soobin started panicking internally, but the sound of the chair across him skidding against the floor immediately snaps him back to reality.

“Soobin-sunbae,” Taehyun’s voice seems to have deepened with age, but the older man could still recognize it as uniquely his. “It’s nice to see you again.”

“Taehyun-ah,” Soobin barely manages to answer, mind still in the middle of a hurricane. “We aren’t in highschool anymore, just hyung is fine.”

“Force of habit,” the younger quickly apologizes. "Now what kind of mess have you gotten  yourself into?"

Soobin groans and retells the events of last Monday while the younger listens with an amused smile. At some point Mrs. Hong saunters over with drinks in hand, the very same ones they ordered years ago. When none of them want to change their drinks into something else, the cafe owner chastised them for still having the same preference in caffeinated beverages even after “tasting the bitterness in life.” But she still pats them both on the head and places her famous plate-sized cookie on their table for them to share.

When he finishes, Taehyun has a calculating look on his face as he sips his iced caramel macchiato in silence. This makes Soobin nervous, unsure of what he’s thinking right now. The man in front of him might have been someone he knew ten years ago, but who he is today is now someone different.

“Alright,” the blond says, looking back at the older again. “I got a plan.”

This makes Soobin blink at him owlishly. “You do?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty simple,” he explains, smiling reassuringly. “You can message Sanghwan-sunbae anytime today to meet you at the mall plaza tomorrow. We get there, fake a kiss in front of him, then turn him down while I stand by somewhere to give you guys privacy. If he calls me over, we give him the spiel that we got together pretty recently which is why not a lot of people know. After that’s settled, you can enjoy your reunion in peace! I’ll hang with Huening the entire time while you catch up with your other classmates.”

“Woah,” is the first thing that comes out of the redhead’s mouth, making Taehyun let out a little laugh. “You actually do have everything planned out.”

“I might’ve thought about it after you messaged me last night,” Taehyun says.

“I can’t thank you enough, you’re such a lifesaver,” Soobin groans, resting his head on one palm. “To think Kai thought about pulling you into this in the spur of the moment, and you’ve been the most helpful one out of everyone who knows.”

This makes the younger beam at him, eyes shimmering bright. “Of course I am, I can’t let my former captain down now.”

Soobin feels a blush creep up his face. “I thought you forgot about that.”

“Just because we’re older doesn’t mean my memory has gone to shit,” the other reminds him.

“A-anyway,” the redhead says, trying to steer the conversation away. “Where have you been staying since I heard from my dad that your parents sold your house a few years back?”

“Oh, I rent in Gangnam now, it’s not that far from here,” Taehyun replies. “Mom and dad want a change of scenery, and I can’t join them while I’m managing the family business too. I used to be overseas all the time but now that my cousins are helping out, I mostly oversee distribution to our buyers in Korea now.”

“That sounds great, since jet lag can be a bitch,” Soobin comments, smiling. “I work a few districts past Gangnam too, mostly doing workshops on houseplant care in this big garden center in town.”

“That’s so like you, hyung,” the younger says, eyes twinkling. “We should hang out more often now after work, yeah? I really do miss talking to you.”

“Yeah,” the older man says immediately. He probably should’ve made up an excuse, but he really hasn’t changed much since highschool — he still can’t say no to Taehyun. “And I’m not going to lose to you if we go out drinking.”

The other laughs at this, and it’s as infectious as ever. Soobin can’t help but smile.

And well, he missed this too.

Following his meetup with Taehyun, it becomes evident to Soobin that he has not, in fact, entirely moved on from liking the younger man. But even then, he isn‘t entirely sure what he feels for the other. So, in order to compensate for the entire fiasco two nights ago while talking his ear off about his new predicament, Soobin visits Kai and Beomgyu’s house to borrow suitable attire for the reunion from the former.

“I’m surprised you even own fancy stuff like this, Kai-yah,” the redhead muses, looking at the open wardrobe and clothes strewn across the bed.

Kai only hums at this, taking out more clothes out of his closet to lay on the bed. “It’s thanks to Beomie-hyung’s influence. You know how much he and Jun-hyung love their fashion.” 

“Still, how am I supposed to choose from all these? I’m really not familiar with the whole retro, funky disco attire you guys thought about for the reunion’s dress code,” Soobin says, patience thinning at the mere sight of the pile of clothes he’s supposed to rifle through.

“That’s where I step in,” Beomgyu announces loudly as he sets down a tray of drinks for his fiance and their guest on the bedside table. 

He looks at Soobin with a scrutinizing look, eyebrows furrowed and a hand on his chin. The older of the three gulps nervously, feeling like a passenger going through a security check at the airport.

A few moments later, the long-haired man snaps his fingers and digs through the pile of clothes with purpose. Kai and Soobin could only exchange a look while the other mumbles to himself.

Beomgyu emerges out of the pile with a black, bomber jacket that had glitter of sorts on the surface making it sparkle against the light, a red and black-striped shirt, and some dark jeans in his hands. 

“This should work as a casual, but stylish look on you. Top it off with black sneakers. Make sure to style your hair to show a bit of your forehead, okay? You have to look smokin’ hot as Taehyun’s date on Friday,” he says to Soobin, giving him a wink and a thumbs up and he hands over the clothes.

The redhead sighs, carefully folding the clothes as the couple put back the other clothes back in the wardrobe. “Thank you. And you really shouldn’t have set me up with Taehyun, Kai-yah, I felt some weird things when I met him earlier.”

“Oh? How so?” Kai immediately jumps on him, obviously excited to hear about what happened.

Soobin sighs again, wringing his fingers nervously. “Like I said, weird. He really shouldn’t be allowed to have a glow up that good when he’s already been unfairly attractive in highschool. You should’ve seen him, Kai-yah.”

“I have and I agree, but there’s nobody who’s more handsome in the world than my Beomie-hyung,” Kai says, blowing a flying kiss to his fiance, which the latter swats away playfully. 

“Sounds like you’re feeling things for him. Do you?” the younger asks.

“That’s something even I don’t know,” the redhead says, deflating. “I don’t know if this is nostalgia leading me on, or if it’s something beyond that.”

Kai frowns and pulls him into a hug. “That sounds tough, hyungie,” he says, giving comforting pats to his tummy. 

“I’m sorry I got you into this. Should I try giving it a go this time to call it off? I’m definitely the more stubborn one between us,” he offers.

The older replies with a disapproving noise. “He’s been so nice to me, coming all the way here and shit just to have that effort wasted because my feelings are all over the place.”

Soobin sighs for the third time, leaning into the embrace. “Why can’t I be normal and treat him like a good friend the way he is to me? Like, how is it possible I still have a crush on him after ten years?”

“Maybe that isn’t a crush anymore, hyung,” Beomgyu pipes in, sitting beside the two on the bed. “Crushes are fleeting, they eventually go away after some time.”

“Love doesn’t.” 

The moment he says that, Soobin feels his heart sink, then leaps so high he can feel it in his throat.

“It’s a stubborn thing, something that won’t wilt away once it’s deeply rooted in your heart. That’s how it is with love between family, or friends,” Beomgyu continues. “Who knows, it might actually just be platonic now, you’re just a little confused at the moment. Give yourself a little more time to figure it out, okay? Talking to Taehyun himself will probably work, but if you’re not ready for that we’re here for you if you need it.”

The redhead exhales deeply through his nose as he pulls the other raven-haired into the hug. “Damn, I’m pretty sure my therapist was on holiday leave today,” he jokes, making the couple laugh.

“Nah, I was just reaching. Being engaged makes you poetic and mushy like this,” Beomgyu replies, pinching Soobin’s cheek giddily.

“Thank you guys. I mean it.”

“It’s nothing,” Kai replies cheerily, hoisting both males up and off the bed, complaining and squirming in his hold. “Now to dinner! Any later than this and I’ll go insane not being able to taste my fiance’s cooking.”

Thursday comes, and Soobin meets up with Taehyun at the mall, feeling queasy. For the last  time, the redhead asks out loud about what to do if things don’t go well, to which the blond gives him a firm grip on both shoulders and looks at him with a smile.

“We rehearsed this for ages on the phone. You got this,” he says reassuringly.

Soobin takes a deep breath and releases it. “You’re right. A meteor won’t fall from the sky and kill me before I meet Sanghwan-ssi. I have to do this.”

“That’s the spirit,” the younger says with a laugh, nodding. He puts his arms down, but raises his right hand again, palm facing Soobin.

“May I?” he asks in a soft voice, and the redhead barely catches on that the other is asking for his hand. He quickly follows through though, and puts his left hand forward, holding Taehyun’s in it.

Soobin tries not to dwell on the fact that the younger man’s hand is comfortingly warm in his hold as they walk to the plaza.

It isn’t hard to spot Sanghwan since he was in the middle of the clearing, eyes darting here and there. Soobin quickly whips his head to the other before Sanghwan makes eye contact with him, ready to commence the first part of the fake boyfriends act. 

This was a really underhanded idea for faking a kiss, was what Soobin thought as Taehyun flips him around to face him, back to Park Sanghwan. The blond caresses his face with his free hand, and goes on his tiptoes as he inches close to Soobin’s face, close enough that their noses brush and their breaths mingle.

The older man’s heart stops seeing Taehyun so up close like this. He can see the faint outline of his freckles and the slow flutter of his eyelids as the younger looks back at him intently. He averts his eyes, only to be drawn to the younger’s lips as they glistened under the light.

Time seems to stop the louder the thumping in Soobin’s chest becomes. The spell is only broken when the younger pulls back and squeezes their joined hands once before letting go.

Right, focus on the task at hand — rejecting Park Sanghwan.

Not thinking about kissing Kang Taehyun.

As he makes his way to Park Sanghwan, the other is already looking at him with a sad smile. Or maybe that’s just how he usually looks when he smiles. Either way, he definitely had seen the scene play out in front of him. Soobin feels bad for tricking him, but there’s no turning back now.

“Sorry for being late, Sanghwan-ssi,” he starts saying, putting his hands behind his back so the other won’t see him wring them nervously. “There was a line at the entrance.”

“It’s fine Soobin-ssi, I wasn’t here for long either,” Sanghwan replies.

Alright, here goes nothing.

“Listen, Sanghwan-ssi, I really should’ve told you this last Monday, but I really wasn’t in the right mind to do so,” Soobin starts, running a hand through his hair. “I thought it wouldn’t be sincere if I said this through text, so thank you for meeting up with me.”

“I can’t go with you to the reunion, because my boyfriend’s going to be there with me. He and I just recently got together, so I was also worried he didn’t want me going around announcing we’re dating, he’s kind of shy. I hope you understand.” The redhead gives himself a mental pat on the back for not stuttering a single word.

Sanghwan nods his head, smile growing wider. “I understand, it’s not a surprise that you’d be taken. Don’t worry about me, okay? I also confessed to you on a drunken whim, so I’ll get over it easily.”

Soobin feels a weight being lifted from his shoulders. He bows at the other, about to say his goodbyes when Sanghwan speaks again.

“By the way, if you don’t mind me asking, is your boyfriend Kang Taehyun-ssi from highschool? I, uh, kinda saw earlier,” he says sheepishly.

The redhead blushes, nodding. “Yeah, it’s him. Sorry about that.”

“D-don’t worry about it!” the other says immediately. “Congrats to the two of you, I’m glad you guys worked out. Kang was really head over heels with you back then.”

The gears in Soobin’s head screech to a halt.

“W-what?” he sputters, eyes wide. “I mean, uhm, he told you that?”

“Oh! Well, it was a part of the usual locker room gossip back then,” Sanghwan replies, embarrassed. “But I never doubted the rumors, you know? My friends and I were near your table once during lunch, and Kang never stopped looking at you like you’re the reason the sun shines in the sky. But I’m sure you already know that.”

Soobin definitely did NOT know that.

But he nods dumbly anyway, having half of his single braincell remind him he’s still in a pretend relationship with Taehyun.

“Anyway! I need to go, Lee and the others are waiting for me. See you tomorrow!” Sanghwan bids as he shuffles to the exit.

Soobin finds himself stuck in place for a few seconds before his hands slap at his face, focusing on reality once more.

He can’t believe his ears.

The universe has to be fucking with him.

The redhead turns around, trying to find Taehyun as if he was ready to talk about his feelings right then and there (He really wasn’t). He finds the blond a few feet away, talking to someone.

That someone being his parents.

Oh, the universe was definitely pulling his leg right now.

Soobin quickly walks over, head in a daze as he stands next to Taehyun. “Mom, Dad, hi!” he greets them quickly. “What are you guys doing here?”

“Your dad’s helping me with groceries, of course,” his mother replies, eyes scrutinizing him.

Uh-oh.

“My dear son, how could you do this to your own parents? You’re dating this fine young man next to you and you never told us!” his father says accusingly with a playful twinkle in his eyes, crossing his arms in front of him.

Oh fuck. They know.

“And not just some fine young man, it’s the smart and talented boy from the Kangs! I used to see this face in the newspaper all the time from winning swim competitions,” Mrs. Choi comments, looking sweetly at Taehyun.

The latter can only look at him pleadingly as his hand reaches for his. Soobin quickly interlocks them, thumb rubbing circles on his skin as if to say, “I got this.”

“Dad, we’ve only been dating for about a month, nobody else in town except for Kai and the others know either,” he quickly defends. “And cut him some slack, you know how shy Taehyunnie is, especially since he hasn’t been back to Ansan in a while.”

At that, the two heads of the Choi family look at one another, drop the act and they’re back to the soft and caring parents that Soobin knows and loves. 

“We’re sorry dear, we’re just really happy for you,” Mrs. Choi says, pulling Soobin and Taehyun into a hug. 

“Why not join us for dinner, Taehyun?” Mr. Choi quickly offers. “We can catch up over a bowl of my famous Samgyetang!”

This makes Soobin panic a little. It’s a kind gesture, but it’s going to be the most stressful dinner of his life if they’re going to be rifling questions about their nonexistent relationship. One inconsistent answer and they’re screwed.

Taehyun seems to have noticed the other’s panicked state when a second goes by without a response. “I’m thankful for the offer, uncle, but I have to decline. I came here by car, and I’ll need to leave in a bit so I won’t be caught in traffic later. And I also have to prepare for tomorrow, since I’m taking Soobin-hyung to the reunion,” he replies, apologetic.

“No problem! Let’s schedule it some other time then,” Mr. Choi says good-naturedly. “Just make sure to pick up my son early tomorrow.”

“Yes, of course.”

“Oh, look at the time! Honey, the sale at the grocery is going to end soon. Soobin, dear, meet us by the checkout counter after you say goodbye to your boyfriend, okay? It was nice meeting you!” Mrs. Choi says in a rush, dragging her husband with her as they wave goodbye.

Soobin nods, and immediately relaxes once his parents are out of sight.

“I’m sorry, hyung,” Taehyun quickly says, worried. “They saw us fake kissing and pulled me aside while you were with Sanghwan.”

The redhead groans, “It’ll be fine, I hope. Mom has some beef with the new neighbors so she won’t be spreading the news anytime soon.”

“Let’s just enjoy the reunion tomorrow and deal with the other things after,” the blond sighs. “I’ll pick you up by 5:30?”

“Okay, sounds good. Let me walk you to the parking lot?”

“Sure.”

No one moves to let go of their hands on the way there, only when it was time for Taehyun to leave. It’s only when Soobin’s dashing to the grocery when he remembers what Sanghwan said to him earlier.

Kang was really head over heels with you back then.

“Fuck,” he mutters under his breath, blush creeping to his ears and his heart doing somersaults in his chest.

Soobin barely gets any sleep that night.

If he’s to think about this rationally, there’s no reason for Soobin to be nervous today. He’s only going out for a fun time with some drinks alongside people he barely gets to meet nowadays. Yeonjun and Kai will be there, and all his favorite teachers will be too. He could even sneak into the greenhouse if he’s lucky and have a quick chat with the new tenants there under the moonlight.

But of course, the big glaring problem is the fact that Taehyun is there with him, and he still has feelings yet to be addressed for him. He barely has the time to contemplate when he’s still busy processing the possibility of the younger liking him back ten years ago, because what the fuck how is that possible.

His two best friends were already in Ansan High by 5:15 PM, and Soobin is busy spamming his jitters at them in text while waiting for his date. He even has to turn the conditioning down because he keeps sweating. Eventually, there’s a knock on the door and the redhead almost makes contact with the roof as he jumps at the sound.

Quickly making his way downstairs, Soobin greets his dad goodbye, then finds his mom at the door engaging the blond in casual talk. 

And oh, Taehyun has a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

“…Or mark my words I’ll hunt you down if you don’t bring Soobin home in one piece,” Mrs. Choi was saying when the redhead got within earshot. He blushes, gently pushing his mom aside to greet the other.

“Mom, stop acting like we’re still in highschool,” he groans, to which his mom giggles at and kisses her son on the cheek while he mumbles a goodbye to her. She waves at Taehyun before going back to the kitchen. The younger just looks at the redhead, exasperated but waves back at Mrs. Choi.

“These are for you, hyung,” Taehyun says, handing the bunch of pink carnations out to the older man. “I, uh, thought I’d be in trouble with your parents if I came empty-handed.”

Soobin hears the last sentence loud and clear, but holding the bouquet in his hands makes his heart flutter still. “Good thinking. Thank you, Tyunnie,” he says, smiling.

The younger quickly whips around in the direction of his car. “It’s nothing. Let’s go now, hyung.”

The short ride was relatively pleasant, with Soobin distracting himself by focusing on the carnations he’s still holding. Mindless radio music fills the car, and Taehyun absently hums to it as he takes the familiar road to Ansan High.

Their school has changed in many ways over the years, and it definitely looks different under the night. The decorations are simple, yet the lights strewn about give them emphasis and give off a sophisticated feel. The carpet leading to the main auditorium was probably one of the few touches of formality in the grand event, which the redhead just knows Kai played a hand in, knowing his great attention to detail when it comes to the whole picture.

Soobin doesn’t realize he walked all the way there holding hands with the younger until he meets up with Kai, Yeonjun, and Beomgyu, when all three give them a fond look and the youngest flashes a picture with the camera around his neck. Taehyun lets go to pull Kai into a playful headlock, and they’re off to probably catch up while wandering all over the place.

“Aw, I didn’t know you guys were invested in this fake boyfriends thing enough to wear matching clothes to the reunion,” Yeonjun comments while handing Soobin a glass of cocktail.

Soobin sputters at this. “W-we didn’t,” he stutters, shooting the older a disbelieving look.

At this, Yeonjun hands him his phone that has the preview of the picture Kai took of them open. “Really? Could’ve fooled me if I didn’t know.”

He isn’t lying; Soobin didn’t notice because it was too dark and he was too busy not staring at the younger for too long. Taehyun’s wearing a bomber jacket like himself, white with blue and black stars pattern on it. Underneath, he has a blue silk dress shirt that has about three buttons undone, a white undershirt barely covering the skin there. He also has dark jeans on, blond hair styled a similar way with the redhead’s. In the picture, you could clearly see them holding hands, and Soobin notices that he's been caught mid-stare looking at the other.

He blushes, shoving the phone back to Yeonjun. “I-I didn’t notice! We didn’t plan our clothes at all, I literally borrowed Kai’s wardrobe for this.”

The older shrugs, chugging half his glass down. “Either way, it’s cute. Now go say hi to Mrs. Park, she’s been looking everywhere for you.”

So Soobin does exactly that, saying hi to some familiar faces, posing awkwardly in some pictures, half-heartedly listening to the speakers through their scheduled program, eating and drinking to his heart's content. Despite his earlier worries, he is enjoying his night more than he expected. At some point Kai took a break from being an organizer and sat at their table too, drinking, but he controls how much alcohol he consumes because there’s now a Beomgyu glaring at him down.

Taehyun sticks by him when he’s finished socializing himself, but does nothing more than comment about the food and other small talk. Soobin’s proud with himself that he mostly interacts like a normal person, only allowing a lingering stare or two when the other isn’t looking.

Eventually the program ends, the speakers encouraging everyone to step into the dance floor as upbeat music starts playing. Yeonjun excitedly drags his best friends out of their seats and immediately gets lost in the song, dancing clean and confidently as he always did. Kai easily follows close behind him, bumping into some people here and there with his lanky limbs. Soobin opts to mostly sway from side to side, content to watch his two friends enjoying themselves. He looks back to their table, and finds Taehyun the only one left there. Beomgyu probably left to handle something as an organizer. The redhead motions him to join them, but the firm shake of the blond's head tells Soobin he's resolute in not getting up.

Well, if Taehyun thinks things will go his way, he'll have to think again.

The older man comes over to plant a firm grip on the other's arm. Amused, the blond tries shaking him off, to no avail. There's a tiny squabble, with Soobin whining in increasing pitch to come dance, and Taehyun giggling while shaking his head no, feet still firm on the ground where he's seated. At some point, the redhead manages to lift the other by the waist of the chair, and the blond squeals with even more laughter as he's helplessly dragged to the dance floor.

By the time Soobin plops him down the ground again, the song changes to a slower, more intimate one, and couples noticeably fill the area around them. The redhead has lost sight of his friends, so he looks back at Taehyun. The blond also looks back at him, expression undecipherable. 

If Soobin was a better person and indifferent with his feelings for the other, he probably would've done the platonic choice to simply go back to their seats and go back to drinking. But since he was slightly tipsy and has occasionally thought about holding the younger close throughout the night, things unfold a little bit differently than he had hoped for.

Bracing himself for the worst, Soobin boldly wraps his arms around Taehyun's neck, face red from both the alcohol and from embarrassment. The younger's eyes are wide as saucers at this, his voice hitching.

"I'll let go if you tell me you don't like it," the redhead says loud enough to be heard over the music, head dropping as his eyes screw shut. He should really just walk away from this, before they reach a point of no return, but–

The older man jolts in surprise as he feels a pair of arms wrap around his waist. Bewildered, he looks up at Taehyun–

And Taehyun has a soft, fond expression on his face looking back at Soobin. Eyes shimmering, ears red, smile blinding.

"Don't let go," the blond says, voice above a whisper, yet the older can hear him loud and clear with how close they are right now.

Once again, time seems to stop in this bubble the redhead shares with the other as he takes in every small detail he can see up close. Soobin feels himself slowly lean down his head so their foreheads touch, unable to focus on anything but the other man in front of him. Taehyun just looks at him curiously, as if trying to anticipate his next move, his lips slowly parting. That sliver of movement brings the older's attention to his lips, and he briefly entertains the thought of leaning down to press his lips against them.

It's a tempting thought, but then he immediately feels cold water wash over him at what the blond says next.

"Although this is ten years overdue, I'm glad I finally got the chance to dance with you, hyung."

A lot of things end with a blink of an eye – the song, the moment Soobin shared with Taehyun, and the alcohol's effect on him to forget he's yet to accept his feelings, and to numb the guilt eating at him for taking advantage of the blond's kindness by even thinking about making a move on him.

And well, considering that he is having non-platonic thoughts about him, this at least lets him come to some sort of realization – after all the time that has passed, and after everything that has led to this moment, he's still quite painfully into Taehyun. It doesn't matter if it's Taehyun from ten years ago or the Taehyun right in front of him now; he likes Taehyun, plain and simple.

But what good does this do for him? He's probably already ruined his chances to ask him out for real now.

Feeling dizzy and lightheaded, Soobin excuses himself to the bathroom only to find himself wandering across the campus instead. It really doesn't surprise him when his feet take him to the greenhouse, where he spent most of his time at school making memories he still remembers to this day.

One memory in particular, he remembers happening at night as well. It was three weeks before the senior's prom, and he was trying to prove to Yeonjun he can memorize the choreography they're required to dance as a batch all by himself. He swore up and down he's got it all pat down, but he keeps messing up at the same parts again and again, hence why he's still in school at night. Taehyun felt bad he kept seeing the senior struggle every day, so kept him company and even helped with the dance the best he could.

"This school sucks," the younger huffed, watching Soobin fail to dance on beat again. "I can't believe there's one required dance everybody has to do on prom night of all days."

"We can't do anything about it when it's tradition," the older shrugged. "Besides, after this one bit, I get to eat whatever I want while I wait for Yeonjun–hyung to do his thing, so it's a necessary sacrifice."

Taehyun frowns at this. "That doesn't seem fun. You're not going to dance with Jun-hyung?"

"One, he has too much energy. Two, he'll probably be going around dancing with anyone who's willing. And three, I am not third-wheeling that shit," the raven-haired boy countered.

"I guess that's a reasonable explanation," the second-year student replied, sighing. "It just seems like a waste if you're going there without being able to spend it all night with at least one person."

Soobin could only shrug. "Nobody asked me to prom, and it really isn't a big deal with me. I'm just in it for the free food."

"You know, I'd keep you company if I could," the younger offered, making the senior's heart skip a beat.

"You'd get kicked out, Taehyunnie. It's called the senior's prom for a reason," Soobin reminded him.

"I'm just saying," the younger said. "I wouldn't mind dancing with you. Highschool proms are supposed to be special occasions to be spent having fun."

Soobin felt his face heat up at this, but he's too scared to decipher what the younger was implying. He could only avert his eyes and go back to practicing at this. "I guess it'd be nice."

But the raven-haired considered Taehyun's words for a while. Even if the prom was strictly for seniors, no one's going to notice someone sneaking in or two. He could take risks, especially if it meant spending more time with the brunet. 

That also meant that if he had enough courage, he'd confess while he's at it, especially if he's going to ask him to be his plus one to the prom as well. 

Soobin considered this for a long time, until it was too late.

Ironically, all it took was Taehyun's own confession the week before prom to crush the older boy's chance to confess.

"Hyung, my relatives offered me to transfer schools to Canada on a scholarship. I'm moving away next week."

Soobin immediately knows the footsteps quietly approaching him in the school garden belong to Taehyun's without even looking. He just had a feeling.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"You're not going to throw up, are you?" Taehyun asks cautiously.

The redhead snorts. "Nah. I'd take my puke literally anywhere else but here."

This makes the younger stifle his laugh. "I figured so."

Taehyun takes a seat next to him on the bench he's sitting on. Nobody speaks for a moment, content with merely listening to the sounds of the night.

"Hyung," the blond says after a while, breaking the silence, shifting to the side and making their knees touch. "Is it alright if I asked you something? You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

The older man freezes, but manages to keep his expression steady. "Alright."

"Did I… cross a line being your fake boyfriend at some point? We probably should've set boundaries, even if it was only for a short while," Taehyun says, voice faltering near the end.

Soobin can't bring himself to answer, not when he's definitely crossed the line at some point as well.

The blond sighs when the silence becomes more than a pause before uttering an answer. "I expected as such." 

"I'm sorry for suddenly coming back into your life, hyung," Taehyun continues. "I know the lack of communication on both of our ends when I moved away was an indicator enough to keep away, but I couldn't. Back then, I focused so much on my future that I lost sight of what I already had in front of me."

He starts swinging his feet back and forth, a habit that the redhead barely remembers as something the other did when he was nervous.

"When Kai called at that time saying I had to do something for you, I knew I had to say yes no matter what if it meant I get to see you again. That way, I'll be able to do the things I wasn't able to ten years ago. And yeah, some of those things were to dance with you, and," the younger pauses to take a deep breath and release it, "what it would be like to go out with you."

Oh. 

Soobin feels like he's going to cry. In no way, shape, or form is this actually real right now. Because in what world is it possible that not only is he hopelessly pining, but the person he also likes is in the same boat as well? And none of them bothered to do anything about it for ten whole years?

Like, what the fuck.

"Okay, I think that's my cue to leave," Taehyun says suddenly. "I'll just wait in the car so feel free to text me when you want to go." With that, he starts to get up.

Did he just say the last thought out loud? The redhead wishes he could hit himself so hard right now.

"Wait!" Soobin manages to grasp at the sleeve of the blond's jacket before he could walk away. "C-Can I ask you something too?"

The younger looks like he's about to bolt at any moment, and Soobin would've laughed if he wasn't so desperate. "Okay," Taehyun says in a soft tone, sitting down again.

The older man sighs in relief. All hope isn't lost just yet, at the very least.

"With what you just said to me," he starts. "Does that mean the rumors about you liking me back in highschool were true?"

Even though it was dim outside, Soobin could see the other's face turn a faint shade of pink under the moonlight.

"Well, yeah," Taehyun starts to say, then he groans and covers his face in his hands. "Oh god, you heard those too?"

"I swear I didn't know at the time!" the older says quickly. "Sanghwan kind of told me yesterday."

"I'm more surprised you never knew," Taehyun says. "Kai probably knows, and Jun-hyung too since it apparently also reached the seniors."

"Huh. You're right," Soobin muses. Guess he's going to strangle a throat or two for answers later.

"But why would knowing now matter?" the younger asks, finding the courage to raise his head from his hands. "The past is in the past, and it really shouldn't be an excuse for me to take advantage of the situation you're in."

"Yeah, about that," the older says, feeling nervous again. 

"It's a funny thing really. I, uh, kind of liked you back ten years ago too," he finally manages to say, almost mumbling the last words out with how quickly he wanted them out of his mouth.

"What?" the blond says, eyes wide.

"N-Not like it matters back then either," he continues, sighing as he looks down to avoid Taehyun's gaze. "Because I realized that when it was too late. I was graduating, you were about to study overseas, it wouldn't have worked out."

"You wouldn't know that," Taehyun says. "LDR sucks, but I think I would've managed. I came back here anyway to finish my masters."

Soobin frowns at this. "Maybe in an ideal world, it would. But you moved to Canada, of all places. It must've been easier for you to move on, being in a new place and meeting new people."

The redhead hears a sniffle, looks up, and feels his heart shatter into a million pieces. Taehyun looks like he's about to cry, eyes brimming with unshed tears, smile wobbly as he looks anywhere but at Soobin.

"That's funny, I also told myself that back then," he says, contrary to his expression. "I thought it worked when I started going out with other people, but they never lasted and I eventually gave up on looking for a relationship. It probably didn't help when I kept comparing them to you or when I tried going out with someone who was like you. Before I knew it, I had left a part of myself back in Ansan, with the sunbae from the botany club who was as pretty as the flowers he tended to during spring."

"I never stopped liking you, Soobin hyung."

At that, Soobin feels something wet land on his hand, he looks down, and sure enough, there were teardrops. He's about to console Taehyun in any way possible, but it's the latter himself who looks at him with worry as he cradles the older's head in his hands.

Only then did Soobin realize he was the one crying.

"Hyung, did I say something wrong?" the younger asked, panicked while he thumbs away at the tears.

"Taehyun-ah," Soobin says, voice shaking. "You can't always be this kind to me when I almost made you cry and literally just belittled your feelings by saying you had it easy."

Taehyun shoots him an exasperated look, but the corners of his lips start curving into a smile. "You're being silly, hyung. Of course I'm always going to be kind to you – I like you well enough to care when you suddenly start to cry. And sure, let's say I thought you're a jerk for saying that. It wouldn't matter because I never moved on."

"You mean a lot to me hyung, and it's fine if you don't feel the same to me anymore."

The older man tilts his head at this, then he starts to laugh with his shoulders heaving. The blond is about to ask if the other was still drunk when he starts to feel fingers pry his hands away from Soobin's face in favor of interlocking with them.

"Now you're the one being silly, Tyunnie," he says, dimples peeking out as he smiles wide. "When did I ever say that to you? Sure, I thought that what I had for you faded away after all these years, but it didn't even take a week after meeting you again to realize that isn't the case."

"Taehyun-ah, I still like you. I hope I didn't take too long this time to figure it out."

The smile the younger man mirrors back at him is just as wide. "It wouldn't have mattered even if it took you longer than this. I'm not going anywhere if you're not with me."

Soobin feels fuzzy all over, giddiness spreading throughout every nerve in his body. "Then are we boyfriends now?"

"I dunno, maybe we should try kissing first and then I'll consider it," Taehyun says with a playful grin, shrugging.

Soobin laughs so hard he falls forwards face first, forehead bumping clumsily against the other's.

"I forgot how much of a brat you can be," he says, already leaning in for a kiss. "But since you clearly can't wait any longer, I guess I have to take matters into my own hands."

Once again, Soobin finds himself looking into Taehyun's eyes as he inches closer. This time, what he sees reflected in them is the night sky, the stars scattered all over, shimmering. He feels their noses bump, feels the other's breath brush gently against his skin, and a soft gaze aimed at him.

This time, the clock doesn't feel like it stops when their lips are inches from one another. Time keeps on ticking and they finally meet. The sensation is soft, warm, and better than any kiss Soobin has ever had in his life. Kissing Taehyun merely used to be a thought of what he wanted to do, and now it's high on the list of things he wants to keep doing over and over again.

But then again, he wants to do so many more things with the other now that he's back in his life. Some of them might need Taehyun's permission first, and maybe it'll take some convincing, but he's sure they'll work out somehow.

After all, they have all the time in the world now.