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“Don’t,” Childe whined. He urged Kaeya to stay away, to keep away from the monster he was. Foul Legacy was trapped beneath his skin and bubbling to come out, to consume him whole, to protect him, though there was no battle to protect him from. Only himself and his rampant, ugly mind.
His hands held his forearms in a tight grip. In an attempt to hide them, conceal them from the bright, diamond glance that was Kaeya’s gaze. He didn’t want Kaeya to see his shame.
A thin waist strider forward. Childe curled in on himself.
“Stop,” he begged. “I don’t…”
Another step forward. And another. Calm as the wind, cold as ice. Slow, cautious.
“Please.”
And then, there were hands on his forearms. A shock went through Childe’s spine. Red soaked into the dark palms holding him so gently, like he was a broken toy, shattered and damaged. Maybe he was.
“It’s okay,” the voice called like a siren, sweetly. “You’re okay. Ajax, it’s okay. Just another set back, okay? I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you.”
No, no, that wasn’t right. Kaeya was always here for him. Childe was a mere adolescent, a baby, who couldn’t contain his urges and his emotions. They were rampant, like an untamed flood. Kaeya had left for three hours before Ajax had broken down. Kaeya shouldn’t have to stay and watch over him. He was better than that.
“No,” Childe sobbed out. He clenched his fists pitifully. The knot in his stomach was growing and he felt like he was going to be sick. “No.”
“You’re okay,” he softly said. Diamond pupil met the lifeless blue. “I love you.”
Slowly, his mauled wrist was brought to Kaeya’s lips. A gentle, oh so loving kiss was placed on the edge of the cut. Childe hated it—hated the comfort it brought him. Hated that Kaeya wasn’t digging his fingers into the cut, spearing him open further. Hated that Kaeya was the only person in the world who would do this for him. Hated that Kaeya loved him.
Childe was a human weapon, only good for hurting. He hurt Kaeya by destroying himself. And he’d hurt him again and again, forever bound to be in an endless loop.
“Ajax, you’re okay,” he repeated, like a record. Childe wanted him to repeat it over and over until the voice was warped. “I’m proud of you. So strong, for me.”
And Ajax broke. The dam holding him up spiderwebbed until the pressure was too much and it broke. Ugly sobs escaped his lips, desperate sniffles and wails echoed through the room. He screamed and cried, burying his face in Kaeya’s chest. Everything bottled through his life was pouring out, all the pent up emotions. He became unfurled, exposed, vulnerable. Just for Kaeya.
And all the while, Kaeya held onto him, rocking him, loving him.