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It was an indisputable fact that Edward Nigma loved the sound of his own voice. Anyone rogue would tell you that Ed was a walking encyclopedia of things that he was interested in, and was more than happy to share- even if the other party was not as interested as he was. On a good day, it was endearing. But on a day like this…
Jonathan Crane was still taking off the various layers of burlap when he heard a knock on the door. A quick look through the peephole showed him Edward.
“Hmm.” He grunted. He had a splitting headache, but then again he owed Ed a favor. Not to mention that deep down, he had an odd sort of affection for the man. He heard a chuckle from the other side of the door as soon as he had grunted.
“Aha! I knew you were in there. Let me in.”
“What’s the password?”
“…please.” Jon sighed and unlocked the door. He made a sweeping motion with his arm, and the other man strutted in. He whistled as Jon deadbolted the door behind him.
“I don’t think there’s this much straw in a barn, Jon!” He spat. He kicked a little of it to the side.
‘It’s part of th’ costume.”
“Gah! You shed more than Selina’s cats. And that- I might add- is an accomplishment. You’d think a woman who wears all black would get some hypoallergenic kittens, wouldn’t you?“
“Of course.” Jon humored, “Although-“” Before he could get another word out, Ed started launching into a lecture about Jon's uncleanliness in the hideout. Jon tried to listen, he always did. But he found himself zoning out a little after Ed began to mention how he had found cat hair on Batman’s cape. However, he kept nodding intermittently and allowing Ed an ‘mhm’ here or there.
His headache persisted. He knew Ed would just tell him to take something, or get something in his stomach, but the idea was revolting. Jon had only eaten a few crackers yesterday, which he promptly threw up. He was sure Ed was willfully ignoring the stench of the bathroom, but he was talking away- seemingly oblivious to Jon’s thoughts. And oh, the thoughts Jonathan was thinking right now.
‘Why don’t I just kick him out and take a nap?’ His mind seemed to ask. But he already knew the answer to that. For all of Ed’s faults, Jon had a few more. And if all he wanted was a little company, that was something Jonathan could easily supply. He began to study the face opposite to his. Ed still had his makeup on, which consisted of a little foundation to hide his freckles and some eyeliner. He wasn’t wearing his usual eyeshadow today. The only other time he had seen him without it was in arkham.
There was no need to think about that place if he didn’t have to. He looked back at the way Ed’s eyes seemed to glow when he talked, the way that his whole face became animated, and the way he stopped and looked down. Before Jon knew it, he was being handed a pair of handcuffs.
“-and then he had the audacity to think that these could hold the riddler!” Ed said incredulously. Jon blinked, and looked down at what was in his hands. Then he looked at the clock. Dang. He’d been out of it for about ten minutes. He nodded, looking back to Ed.
“The- the nerve!” He said, trying not to sound sarcastic. Ed nodded and gave him another charming smile.
“Exactly! I mean, even those batcuffs are an insult to my intelligence, but these? Standard steel cuffs? Ha!” Ed laughed. “I mean, how soon are these officers graduating?” Jon chuckled with him.
“It's the GCPD, do you really think there’s a program?”
“An excellent point. Alright, go ahead. Let me show you how it’s done.” Ed beamed. Jon looked at the cuffs again, wondering what exactly he was supposed to do. When he looked up, Ed had his palms out, waiting to be cuffed.
“Uh, are you sure about this?”
“I’m not asking you to chain me to the bed, professor,” Ed huffed, and scratched under his nose, “I can get out of them, easily, and I want to show you.”
“Hm.” Jon reached out and clicked the cuffs over Ed’s wrists. His good humor returned, and he shook them a little.
“Oh no,” he deadpanned, “you’ve really got me now! I’m trapped.”
“Good.” Jon sighed. Ed snapped his fingers, getting his attention.
“Anyways, picture it! I was in the back of the police car- did you know they didn’t even bother to get me a truck? Can you believe it?”
“The injustice.”
“Honestly! So I’m in the police car, and this simpleton doesn’t even bother to take away my tie pin. So I look at him, then down at my tie, then at him, then the tie, then back at him, then-“
“Alright Houdini, let’s see the magic trick.” Jon sighed. Ed gave a little ‘hmph’, but seemed to get the message.
“If you insist.” He reached up and took his tie pin off, then began to fiddle with the lock of the cuffs. He began explaining the process to Jonathan again, but Jon’s attention was drawn to Ed’s hands. He watched them work and fidget, until he heard Ed more clearly.
“Voila! Edward Nygma is a free man!” With a resounding clink, the cuff opened, and he quickly took the other one off. Jon gave him a quick smile.
“Well?” Ed asked.
“Well what?”
“Aren’t you going to clap, or anything?” Ed joked. Jonathan gave him three slow claps.
“I don’t want to balloon your ego, your head might pop.”
“You know you love it.”
“I- well, it doesn’t bother me, but I have a bit of a headache. Clapping isn’t my favorite sound.” Ed gave him a look of pity.
Shit. Jon hated when he did that.
“Oh. Have you taken anything?”
“Just got home.” Ed looked at him, and the burlap still on his legs, and it seemed to click.
“Ah. Run in with the bat?”
“One of his birds.” He grumbled. “I’m a little sore, but he managed to graze my head. I’m not so sure that…Edward, what are you doing?”
Ed was taking his gloves off, and he put a hand on Jon’s cheek. Jon could swear he felt his face heat up. He quickly grabbed Ed’s wrist and took it off of his face.
“I was just seeing if it would bruise-”
“Don’t do that again.” Jon hissed. He let go of the other’s hand, and Ed put his gloves back on.
“I should have asked. My sincerest apologies, Scarecrow.”
“Don’t get nasty, you only call me that when we’re on business or you’re irritated with me.”
“Then I’m on business. My business is discussing my day with a burlap clad business man. Thanks for listening, by the way.” He said. Jonathan nodded, and went to grab some Tylenol. “Would you like to know what other business I’m here for?”
“I think you would tell me either way.” Jon chuckled. He looked back to Ed to see if the joke had landed. Ed only scowled.
“I just wanted to make sure it wouldn’t bruise. I didn’t mean anything by it. I mean, if you’re that disgusted by the idea-“
“What idea? Edward, what are you going on about?” He asked. Ed blushed a little, and repositioned himself away from Jonathan.
“I’m not trying to caress your cheek or anything, alright? I know I come off that way sometimes but I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable after whatever happened last week and-“
“Hey, hey. Slow down. I just don’t like being touched without warning, alright? I’m not really sure what you’re saying.” That was a lie. He knew exactly what he had meant. Last weekend, during their latest heist, he had grabbed Edward’s wrist on the pretense to hurry him up. Ed’s heartbeat beat incessantly, and his pupils dilated. He had made a joke. Ed had found it hilarious. Then Ed had kissed him. He had stammered an excuse after that, but that had settled Jon’s suspicions about the matter. After a few moments of silence, they unanimously decided to ignore what had just happened and get the hell out of the art museum.
And he couldn’t decide whether that bothered him or not.
“Oh. I’ll ask next time.” Ed mumbled. They stayed silent for a few moments.
“What’s the business you came here for?”
“To check on you. Harley said that you’re worrying her.”
“How so?” So she had noticed.
“Eating less, shutting yourself in, not answering any of her calls. To name a few.”
“Been busy.”
“Uh-huh. I was wondering if you wanted to get some takeout? I always like Chinese, and there’s a great-“
“I’m an adult, and I can take care of myself.”
“Obviously not! Jon, you look like you are a literal scarecrow! You think I don’t know the real reason you’ve been stuffing more of that awful straw into your costume than usual? I’m not dense.” Hm. So he had noticed too.
It was while he was at Arkham that he began to lose his appetite. Then again, no one liked the slop they served. But even after he got out, he realized his appetite was still absent. It didn’t bother him that much. It gave him more time to work on the toxins. But it had worried Harley. And, apparently, Edward. He looked up, and Ed was drumming his fingers on the nearest countertop.
“I’m not hungry.”
“But you still need to eat. Even just a little bit!”
“I said I’m not hungry. Drop it.”
“Fine. Harley said you might be like this.” He muttered. Jon felt a little pang of guilt, but quickly stuffed it down as he noticed Ed start speaking again. “I understand I can’t make you eat, but I’d like you to… well, maybe consider taking care of yourself a little more. I mean, your breath smells rancid!”
“You didn’t seem to mind.” Jon grumbled. Ed immediately froze. Ah, shit. Now they would HAVE to address it. He looked at Ed, who had shifted his hands into his pockets.
“Edward, we need to talk about it.”
Silence.
“Edward…”
“Fine, I’ll indulge you. I’m just a touchy feely person.” He said. Jonathan snorted.
“Right. Are you a kissing one, too?”
“Heat of the moment.” Ed said. Jon could already see his cheeks get a rosy tint, but his mouth was sternly set. Suddenly, he grabbed Jon’s hand. Jon let him, and raised his left brow.
“I’m a grown man, for heaven’s sakes. I’m the riddler! I’m not harboring some secret crush like a schoolboy! Look, we’re holding hands, and I’m not- I’m not even…”
“Your palms are sweating.” Jon noted. Ed sighed, using his other hand to cover his face. Jon let go of his hand now, and Ed looked away.
“I am not averted to you… initiating contact. But I don’t like to be touched without permission. Ask.” He sighed. Ed’s face went even redder, and he cleared his throat.
“Of course, of course.” He agreed. His eyes seemed to glaze over, as if he was deep in thought. Jonathan took the Tylenol he had gotten near the beginning of the conversation and swallowed. Ed seemed to still be in a train of thought. Jon broke the silence.
“Now, maybe?”
“Hm?”
“You could…ask.” Jon said. Ed narrowed his eyes.
“I can’t tell if you’re mocking me or trying to flirt.”
“Oh for the love of-”
“Jon, can I kiss you into next week?”
“No.”
“You just told me to ask!”
“If we’re doin’… whatever this is, we’ll go slow.” Jon intoned. Ed nodded, smiling.
“I’m quite the gentleman, just a little excitable.” Ed smirked, and moved closer to Jon. He looked up.
“Should I lean up, or should you bend down?” He quietly asked. Jonathan wordlessly closed the gap and put his lips on Ed’s. They both drew back. It was chaste, but it was a start.
“Can I kiss you, a- uh, little more properly?” Ed said, voice barely above a whisper. Jon nodded. Ed leaned up as the other bent down, and he kissed him, pressing his entire body against his. After a few seconds, they let go, and Ed was fidgeting his fingers on Jonathan’s neck.
“I haven’t done this in a while, I-“
“We’ll figure it out.” Jon sighed. “Just the two of us.”
“Yeah,” Ed crooned, “I’d like that.” He let go of Jonathan, and put up a finger.
“This better not have been a plot just to redirect the conversation. If you don’t like Chinese food, just let me know.” He warned. Jon chuckled, and the two of them relaxed.
“It worked, didn’t it?” He joked. Ed shrugged, and held out his arms.
“Only if I’m allowed to kiss you again.”