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Din could see it. The way your eyes turned glassy, barely hidden by the weak little smile you were giving him as he conversed with Cobb Vanth. The tension in your shoulders as you did your best to hold onto the reality around you, gripping every single word like a lifeline that would keep you from crying. The way you pretended to scratch an itch on your face just to hide your expression from the sheriff, not wanting to make him uncomfortable.
He’s married to you for kriff’s sake. Din knows when you’re doing well and he knows when you’re struggling. And right now, you were struggling . The conversation on fuel prices had naturally lulled, giving you both an escape route.
“We still have a few supplies to pick up,” Din said. “I think we’re going to head out.”
He tilted his visor toward you to let you know he understood, and you quickly pulled yourself together to say your goodbyes to Vanth and make the trek out the door.
Just a little longer , you told yourself.
-
By the time you reached the ship, you were about ready to break down completely, barely holding on, melted into mush by the hot tears that trailed down your face. Since you were on Tatooine to visit friends, Din didn’t take any bounties or plan on looking for work. Maybe it was age, or maybe it was loving you that was making him soft, but he decided you both needed time to relax.
It was silent the whole way back, but he kept his hand on the small of your back and looked down at you in reassurance from time to time. He knew from previous experience that the last thing you would want to do was make a scene in the streets of Mos Pelgo, and talking would only make things worse at that moment.
“Let’s get you inside, okay?”
His soft tone somehow reached you, even through the thick fog of panic.
The problem definitely wasn’t Vanth. You loved visiting with Din’s friends. You don’t know why it happened, it just happened . Normally you could handle the intense smells and sounds and sights of the cantinas, but this time, it was different.
He led you up the cargo ramp, trying not to let his worries show through his body language. Opening up the door to the bunk with the button on his vambrace, he sat you on the edge of the flimsy mattress.
“I’m here,” he said, sitting down next to you and taking your shaking hand within his. “You’re okay. You’re safe, cyar’ika .”
At his voice, the tears started coming faster. All you could do was stare into your lap, focusing on the soft strokes of Din’s gloved thumb on the backside of your hand. It all turned into blurred shapes and colors eventually, weakening your grip on your surroundings even further.
You couldn’t hear the click of his helmet through the choked sobs that were coming from you now. But, once he spoke to you again, the warm rumble of his voice pulled you momentarily from the pit of chaos your brain was tumbling towards.
“Come here,” he spoke, letting go of your hand and pulling you into one of his signature bear hugs. Stars , he always made you feel so safe and secure. You sniffled into his shoulder, tucking your face into the fabric of his cowl.
“Din I don’t— I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you croaked out, the cadence of your words interrupted by short hiccups.
“Shhh,” he soothed. “Don’t talk like that, cyare . There’s nothing wrong with you.”
“I can’t control it, I’m— I feel so bad. I do. You were having such a— such a good time.”
“We can come see Vanth whenever we want, okay? It’s not a big deal. I just want you to feel better.”
You let out a few more sobs at those words. He was being too kind .
He pulled you off of him gently, but your eyes widened in horror at the movement. Had you made him uncomfortable? Did he decide he finally had enough? All of those thoughts were a stark contrast to Din’s actual intentions.
He began to take his armor off with practiced speed. Before you knew it, he was pulling you back into his chest, now stripped of the cold and unforgiving beskar.
“I love you,” he whispered, leaving you lost in the coziness of his body heat and giving you no choice but to absorb every word.
Of course. Of course he loves you. The fact that you even worry otherwise fills you with deep embarrassment. You knew how hard it was for Din to open up at the beginning. Now, every time he says those three words, they’re laced with such a thorough sincerity that you have no choice but to believe him.
“I love you too, Din,” you said, tears creeping into existence. This time, you couldn’t tell whether it was relief or anxiety. Joy or sadness. So, you decided to just let the sublime wash over you, grounding you in the moment. In your home. With your husband.
Din pulled you from him again. This time, he brushed a strand of hair from your face and cradled your cheek so sweetly that you could do nothing but give him a soft smile. He mirrored your face, giving you a goofy, boyish grin that crinkled his eyes up in the best way.
“How about I lock up, and then we take a nap?”
You giggled. A nap . That’s the least Din Djarin thing in the galaxy. Finally nodding, you realized just how exhausted you actually were. He got up to secure the Crest and your heavy eyes followed him.
This was a foreign feeling to you, having someone so special love you so hard. Love you even through the tears and panic and rough days. But, as you lay there drifting to sleep in his arms, it all felt right. This must be how love is supposed to feel, you thought.
And it was.