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Niki took a deep and slow breath before exhaling slowly. She was now back at her apartment with no loud noise, extreme and eccentric idols, and no distractions from the only things that mattered to her. Cooking.
While Niki didn’t dislike her dorm room or her dorm mates it was nice to go to her own apartment and distress from the hustle of Ensemble Square. The kitchen there, while nice, wasn’t as homey as hers and she was barely allowed in there if at all. Cinnamon Cafe had a lovely kitchen but she only really had access on her shifts and even then it’s hard to indulge when there is some sort of problem that walks through the door and demands a coffee and muffin before unconsentually venting to Niki about something she doesn’t have time to listen to. Unless it’s one of the junior idols.
Then she gives them all her attention and then some.
Niki also missed the noise of her apartment: the AC kicking on to blow warm air, the chatter of her neighbors or a dog from a tenant below her, the tv or radio noise if she left it on while she cooked or cleaned, and she even missed the noise of a cat that sometimes showed up on the balcony begging for scraps. She named him Chicken.
What she did not miss, or rather what she would never admit to missing is one Rinne Amagi and her loud flamboyant-ness that got constant complaints. Rinne used to be so quiet and loyal, like an obedient pup who was just curious and now she’s like a rabid cat in heat.
She couldn’t stand her.
Luckily for her Rinne was off gambling with her hard earned cash which meant she wouldn’t be home till at least 12 am if she even decided to come to the apartment at all.
She took a deep breath once more before dropping her bags on the kitchen counter and walking to her bedroom while slipping her shirt over her head. If Rinne were here she would have followed her while attempting to poke and grab at Niki. Not that she entirely minded. Sometimes Rinne did it for attention and sometimes she just missed Niki though she’d never actually say it. Niki knew it. Once in her room she tossed the shirt off and in the direction of her laundry basket. Same with the shirt, she slipped off her shoes and pants and tossed the pants to her basket before searching through her dresser for some sweatpants. Half of the sweatpants she did have were defaulted Rinne sweats because she really loved how baggie they were on her, though Niki insists it isn’t that much. She found some grey ones that Rinne had yet to claim and immediately jumped for them. She slipped them on and grabbed a shirt off the floor that Rinne probably tried to steal but failed after realizing it wasn’t slutty enough for her. She smiled at her comfort and walked out of the room to the kitchen for a snack.
Or maybe dinner it was nearly 5.
Niki couldn’t really decide which to fix so settled on making both for herself. A nice snack maybe some omurice since it’s quick and something meaty for dinner. She walked into her kitchen and started pulling out pans and pots as she tried to figure out what dinner should be.
Would Rinne come home in time? Probably not. She shouldn’t even be making a plate for her. Oh but what if she does come back and is super hungry? Maybe a bit of something for her will be good, she can’t let her starve. A good friend wouldn’t let her starve. Rinne might not even eat it though. What if she does? What’s the safe option? Spice? NO! She hates spicy food. This is for you not Rinne. But Rinne has to eat too.
Niki slammed her face on the counter as her brain tried to give her more confusing thoughts. She shook her head and chuckled to herself before crossing her arms, “guess I’m having pizza”
NO
Niki opened her fridge and grabbed some cheese, pepperoni, bell peppers, and tomato-oh. She was out of tomatoes. She huffed and closed her fridge before she looked through her cabinets hoping Rinne didn’t eat the Ragu. Luckily for her the Ragu was intact which meant Rinne had not had one of her hellish butter and Ragu snacks. She placed it on the counter and grabbed her flour from the cabinet next to her, salt off the counter, and the yeast out of a small drawer. She was ready.
Cooking was always a way for Niki to escape, to ignore her surroundings and truly relax. There was no one telling her what to do it was just her, the kitchen, and what ever ingredients she could buy to make a meal for 4 that she would be eating alone. Though she didn’t mind. Occasionally that meal for 4 was shared with Rinne but that’s if it was something Rinne liked. If not Niki usually had to force Rinne to eat since that woman was more stubborn then a posh cat. Oddly Niki enjoyed those moments, moments with her and Rinne were some of her favorites even if some where of the two playfully bickering or fighting, it never meant much but it made Niki smile thinking back on each one.
The sound of the now formed dough slapping the counter was melodic and drowned out the sound of the apartment door opening and a drunk woman stumbling in. Rinne poked her head in and stared a bit confused at Niki before walking over with a sway. She wasn’t being quiet or anything close as she walked in and especially not when she tossed her bag down but Niki was so in the zone she hadn’t noticed. Rinne smiled and immediately tossed her arms around Niki and nuzzled her face into Niki’s hair which caused the girl to jump.
“Huh! Wh- Rinne-chan! You’re back early?! That’s unheard of,” Niki chuckled and put a hand on her chest to calm herself from the scare
“Yeeaah, I missed ya so much I had to,” she smiled and gave a drunken chuckle against Niki’s hair.
“Did you miss me or run out of money. My money?” She asked as she shifted her body and went back to beating her dough
Rinne paused but smirked almost devilishly, “actually Niki kyun I have a liiiittle surprise for ya,” she laughed as she pulled off of Niki’s back and walked to her bag on the counter and looked through it. Niki rolled her dough into a ball and placed it into a bowl before wrapping that in saran wrap and placing it in the proving drawer.
“Is it some fast food? That was your last something for me,” she chuckled softly. It wasn’t like she complained about it.
Rinne smiled and turned to Niki with the supposed gift behind her back, “nah, something a million times better.” She smiled and stepped closer to Niki and leaned in, “am I the best or am I the best.”
“Neither,” she smiled and crossed her arms but quickly dodged Rinne’s hand from smacking her on the head.
“Rude! Answer correctly,” Rinne demanded as she pushed her hand against the cabinet to trap Niki.
“Okay! Okay…you’re the best I guess,” she said as she rolled her eyes.
“Good,” Rinne nodded very pleased, “hold out your haaands~.” Niki groaned before complying. “Good girl,” Rinne s said smugly before slapping a stack of money in Niki’s hand, “tada! It’s 500,000¥! I won it!” She laughed loudly. Niki was just staring at her hand in amazement. “I know I know I am purely amazing, you want to worship the ground I walk on. I know Niki if you must!”she said with such utter confidence.
“Rinne Chan!” She beamed and threw herself onto her suddenly and hugged her tightly. Rinne froze at that and her eyes darted around before she smiled and relaxed at the embrace. “You are amazing! I can pay rent! Buy groceries! Ooo we would even have extra stuff to indulge! I could just kiss you I’m so happy!” She smiled and pulled away with a big ole grin on her face, her eyes turning up and the little dimples on her cheeks becoming prominent. It was one of her big smiles that Rinne hated to see, not because she didn’t like it, but she loved it. She loved Niki’s smile and how bright it looked. But she hated how it made her feel, all bubbly and bright, sickening.
But it was so nice when it was Niki.
She looked off and chuckled,” calm down there Niki kyun, we haven’t even gotten married yet and you want to kiss. Can’t wait for me~,” she smiled and look at her out of the corner of her eyes. Niki was still smiling and still had her arms around her but her smile and face became more fake annoyed.
“You ruined the moment again,” she sighed and pulled away but Rinne grabbed her wrist and pulled her right back and locked her up in a headlock.
“Awww come on Niki Kyun~ thought ya wanted to kiss me,” she smiled and leaned in all happily as if teasing for that kiss but both women knew Rinne was all talk and no action.
“Not anymore! Just give me the money and leave me to cook,” she whined as she blocked Rinne from her face.
“Whatcha makin? Hm?” Rinne smiled as she pressed her lips to Niki’s hand. Niki could feel Rinne’s lip piercing pressing against her hand as Rinne’s mouth opened but she quickly retracted her hand before Rinne could lick her.
“Pizza, I was in a mood to be nice and make you one but my mood is being ruined,” she huffed and pouted at Rinne.
Rinne raised her brows and stuck out her tongue, “are you still gonna make ‘em if I leave?”
“No,” yeah she was.
Rinne knew she would so she smiled, “can’t wait for some damn good pizza, if I can’t annoy you ima go for a smoke.”
“You go do that on the balcony ,” she said sternly but Rinne shushed her with two fingers to her lips.
“Shhhhhh I know, on the balcony with the door closed so I don’t ruin your precious scents, I’m not a fucking villain Niki,” she scoffed as she rolled her eyes and playfully shoved her, “hey can I borrow a shirt? I haven’t washed mine?”
“Don’t you have a whole closet?” She asked as she knelt down and checked the proving draw and closed it back up while mumbling something about an extra five minutes.
“Yeah but I don’t want mine to smell like smoke,” Rinne huffed as she went ahead and took off her shirt and tossed it on Niki’s head.
“Oh so you are fine with mine smelling gross?” Niki asked as she took off Rinne’s shirt and folded it in her hands.
“Yeah,” Rinne shrugged as if it was fucking obvious, “you can always borrow mine.” Rinne smiled and let her eyes flip up and down Niki’s body.
“Rinne chan we both know I couldn’t fit in your clothes if I tried! My boobs, butt, waist, and body is to big!”
“Yeah…you do have a fat ass and some fat fucking tits,” Rinne laughed and made sure to grab a handful of said fat fucking tits and wiggled them in her hands, “damn these are heavy, how do you even handle these milkers?”
Niki just stared at her and furrowed her brows”they grow with me-Don’t squish them! Bad Rinne chan!” Niki blushed as she hit Rinne on the head and the woman let out a loud laugh.
“Awww common! They are like two massive pillows! So squiiishy!”
“Just go smoke!” She whined and held her boobs to protect them from her roommate and her gay little hands. Rinne just laughed and leaned in all smug.
“You are just so fucking adorable, I could just eat you and those marshmallows up!” She laughed and made a growl noise as she chomped at Niki like a really weird animal.
Niki rolled her eyes and pushed her face away with a groan, “leave me alone, Go!”
Rinne just smiled and walked off to their shared bedroom in search of stealable Niki clothes. She looked through her dresser and hummed for a shirt but found nothing that screamed ‘whore going for a smoke’ so just said fuck it. She looked through the pants and smiled as she did find some sweats that screamed ‘whore going for a smoke’ so she promptly stole them. She put on her new pants and grabbed her cigarettes and lighter from her pants pocket and walked out of the room. Niki by now had taken out the dough and was rolling out the dough to spread the store bought(sad she knows) pasta sauce on it.
“Oi, Niki, how long until the food is done?” She asked as she took out a cigarette and pocketed the pack.
“Probably 45 minutes to an hour,” w hummed in response.
Rinne cursed at that, “damn, aight ima piss off Meru, love ya,” she said absentmindedly as she stepped into the balcony not noticing Niki’s smile. She closed the balcony door behind her and held the cigarette between her index and middle finger before holding it in her lips and lighting it. She took a deep inhale and then exhaled her smoke while looking down at the dim streets. She held her cigarette in one hand and with her other hand called HiMERU with the plan to annoy them.
Rinne waited a good bit before her call was answered and HiMERU spoke in that uninterested and annoyed voice that she saved for her alone.
“Amagi, what do you need?”
“Awww already annoyed and I haven’t even said anything. What’s up Meru Meru,” she laughed and leaned forward on the balcony railing.
“You called HiMERU. You tell HiMERU what is ‘up’,” they said truly uninterested.
“I just wanted to call, nothing better to do, already left the casino for the night. Thought to myself might as well talk to my favorite blue haired pronoun having mother fucker. Can’t a girl call her fellow unit mate?” Rinne teased as she took a hit off of her cigarette.
“Are you not at the dorms?”
“Pssh? No?”
“Ah that is unfortunate. Goodnight,” HiMERU spoke with a eagerness to end the call but Rinne whined.
“Hey! Meruuu! You wouldn’t come rescue me off the streets! I thought we were besties?”
“HiMERU and Amagi are not ’besties’. Acquaintance may-haps but not besties.”
“So you wouldn’t come help me? That fucking blows,” she huffed and blew out some smoke in annoyance.
“Why do you ask? Are you stuck somewhere?”
“What?” Rinne blinked and took an inhale of her cigarette.
“You are asking if HiMERU will come and get you, are you not home? Where are you?” HiMERU asked, they weren’t worried but it was that kind of tone that was just annoyed that Rinne was being purposefully vague.
“Oh! I’m at Niki’s place. She’s making some pizza so I’m outside for a smoke. I don’t need a rescue,” she chuckled and blew out her smoke.
HiMERU sighed and rubbed the bridge of their nose, “you are always at Shiina’s. I should have known.”
“I’m not always at Niki’s,” she retorted.
“HiMERU is quite sure you are,” they said with a smug tone, “you spend almost every moment with each other and when you aren’t with each other you both end up with some thought process that ends in wishing the other woman was there. HiMERU understands you two have known each other for a while and friend ship is very important but even when you both are being your own person it leads to the other in some sense.” Rinne stayed quiet through HiMERU’s observation mainly because she couldn’t find a retorsion. It was all painfully true. “It is non of HiMERU’s business but HiMERU is curious. Why do you stick to Shiina so closely even though you both seem to bicker when you are near. It is like a married couple when they bicker, but you two aren’t married or in a relationship. HiMERU wonders… could it be you like Shiina?” HiMERU asked with their smug but curious tone that implied they knew more then they would lead on.
Rinne scoffed and took a hit of her cigarette and exhaled slowly, “no..it’s. It’s complicated. When I first met Niki I was in a bad place. I was starving, lonely, new to the city, I didn’t know fucking anything. She found me by a dumpster and brought my sorry ass inside,” she paused for a minute before continuing, “she gave me food, water, some extra clothes even if they were barely fitting. She patched me up and took care of me and she was a whole 3 years younger then me and I..I was amazed at her. I felt bad that I couldn’t do anything to help her so I promised when we were older I’d take her to my village so we could marry and I could give her everything in the world that she wanted. All the food, all the money, all the peace and quiet, all the freedom. It was the least I could do. I know it was just an impulsive act though, an empty promise. Marriage was such a big deal for me growing up. My mom and dad were so worried about who I was gonna marry, would it be a man, a woman, something not so much of either, something beyond those two, they didn’t know. I didn’t know either. With Niki…I felt something. I felt some sort of warmth, like it was a sign that we were meant to be. She was my soulmate. So I stayed, at first I helped around the house but niki still saw me as a guest up until the holidays, I got her and me those bracelets as a promise and I guess we both realized I wasn’t leaving. So I stayed.” Rinne took a deep inhale of her cigarette and chuckled as she blew out a puff of smoke.
“I don’t know why she kept me around, I’ll be honest Meru. After a while I kinda stopped helping, I just lounged around. I was and still am a bit of a freeloader. Though, and you can’t tell a fucking soul, I do clean the apartment when she isn’t here but it’s not a big deal and isn’t close to what she deserves.” Rinnes voice seemed to falter at that, “she deserves better then me. I can give her almost everything she wants, everything in the world but she is happy with what she is. What do you get for the girl who has everything she wants? Nothing! Niki is do damn great for this fucked up world. She’s so damn motherly and sweet is get cavities from staring at her. She has this way of being stern that is so fucking attractive, it’s not like a bitchy stern it’s just the kind of stern where she gives you a look and slaps your hand with a spoon and tells ya ‘Rinne chan stop doing that’ but the way she says it is like she expects it to happen and wants it! Like a tease! Speaking of tease! This woman is a big one! Always walking around with her nape showing and flashing knowing damn well when I see it I get this urge inside me that I can’t explain but is just so animalistic. Like I want to chew on it. Or when she ties up her hair into a loose bun with thick strands falling in her face and out of the bun, it’s so fucking gorgeous. Or her smile? Ugh..her smile,” she groaned. The way Rinne groaned HiMERU could hear the gentle smile that was indeed forming on Rinne’s lips. “Meru her smile drives me crazy, she has dimples on her cheeks that are so beautifully obvious when she smiles. Her top lip will curl up and show her bright teeth and the way her face lights up, her eyes always squint up and I know immediately by looking at her how much like her mom she is. I’ve only seen a picture but I can say Niki has her moms Filipino smile and it is beautiful . Her cheeks even have freckles! Little ones that I can only see when I’m up close, I sometimes count them when she sleeps too. Oh and her nose! Oh it’s adorable! It’s not small and I love that, she has a large nose that fits her so perfectly and it’s bridge is a bit low hit it gets rounded and becomes larger at the nostrils and it just looks so round and kissable? Does that make sense Meru? And don’t get me started on her body!” Rinne laughed and took a hit off her cigarette. If HiMERU didn’t step in she’d just continue on and on but they weren’t even thinking of stopping. HiMERU sat in silence listening and just pondering what Rinne wouldn’t acknowledge.
“Did you know she has a mole on her left thigh, I saw it one night when we were sleeping and I rubbed her leg when BOOM I saw it-“ she paused when HiMERU cleared their throat.
“Amagi,” they begun, “could it be you..like Shiina?”
Rinne froze, that question stopped in her in her tracks and she had to think. “No, what makes you think that?”
“You spent the past…16 minutes talking about her. HiMERU does not understand why you would have a crush but HiMERU knows you have more then friendship in your heart for Shiina.”
Rinne scoffed and flicked her cigarette some before taking a hit”it’s..I dunno, it’s always like that, I’ve always felt this way..”
“Then maybe you should try and do something about it.”
“Ha! Like what? I’ve already joked about marriage with her and have those promise bracelets what more do I need? Do I need to start going out on dates with her? Being public with affection? Fucking screwing her? Come on MeruMeru cut me some slack I’m not the best at this shit so I dunno what the hell you want me to do-“ Rinne argued as she stomped out her dead cigarette.
“HiMERU thinks you should show her what you want. You have it in you to love her and treat her nicely but you choose not to for some reason HiMERU can not yet comprehend. You love her, Amagi. You just refuse to acknowledge it,” HiMERU said with a gentle tone. They really did care about their unit mates and as much as Rinne annoyed them. They would do whatever they could to help, especially if it meant Rinne would be out of their hair.
Rinne paused and let out a weak chuckle, “I don’t..refuse to acknowledge anything…I’m just,” she sighed and rubbed her head, “I’m not good enough for her.”
“HiMERU disagrees.”
“Oh “ HiMERU disagrees ”. Well Meru how would you know I’m good enough for her? Hm? You aren’t Niki,” Rinne spat and looked off annoyed.
“If you weren’t worth it she would have dropped you by now. She deeply cares for you Amagi you just have to see that you are worth it to her. To Shiina you are what she wants you just need to see that,” HiMERU said with a much softer tones. “You are worth everything to her. You just need to see that.”
Rinne paused and looked down at the street below the apartment and sighed, “fuck me…what am I supposed to do? Walk up and act all affectionate and shit like I’m a dog?”
“Yes? Is that so hard. You already have a hard time keeping your hands off of her as is.”
Rinne let out a small chuckle and sighed, “damn…she’s cooking though.”
“Has that stopped you before?” HiMERU smiled and the sound of shuffling was heard as HiMERU sat on their bed.
“Yeah..yeah I guess not,” she smiled and walked to the balcony door and peaked in. Niki was still cooking as she expected. “Aight, Meru Meru. I’m gonna win over the heart of my darling Niki Kyun! And thanks I guess…for the help.”
“Of course. HiMERU wishes you the best of luck,” HiMERU smiled.
“Thanks,” Rinne smiled and ended the call. She pocketed her phone and took a deep breath before walking back into the apartment and making her way over to Niki. She swung her arms around her waist and pressed her chin to the top of Niki’s head and relaxed.
Niki paused for a moment before continuing her pizza making,, “Rinne chan? Are you still drunk?”
“Pssh, nah, I’m only slightly buzzed now.”
“Ah, so why are you all snuggly?” She asked as she didn’t even look up from her phone while the pizza cooked
“Can’t a girl give her darling friend love while she cooks?” Rinne hummed and moved her face to press against the crook of Niki’s neck.
Niki’s eyes flashed to Rinne and she turned her head, “what’s really up? You never act like this.”
“Do you not like it?” Rinne asked as she looked into her eyes. Niki’s expression changed.
She shook her head and sighed before going back to her phone, “no..I really like it.” That made a warmth in Rinne’s stomach began to spark and she clung a bit tighter to Niki ti distract herself.
She watched with great interest as Niki cooked. She obviously had watched her cook before as most of the time when her darling little chef cooked she was hovering over her like a shadow but something about this moment felt intimate. They weren’t even doing anything special, Niki was just on her phone going through Instagram looking at random kitchen posts while Rinne hovered over her, watching. Rinne wasn’t even interested in the post at all she just liked being near Niki. It didn’t help that everything HiMERU said was stuck in her head, what if they were right and she really did like Niki? It wasn’t a bad thing but the idea worried her enough to make her furrow her brows and begin to feel nauseous. Niki turned her head to Rinne’s and bumped her forehead with her to get her attention. Rinne hummed and looked down at her with a lazy expression.
“What’s up? You keep squeezing,” she smiled and put a hand on one of Rinne’s that was now on her waist.
Rinne hadn’t noticed she was squeezing her at all but didn’t let go just laid head on her shoulder, “why do you do this to me?”
“Do what?” Niki asked both concerned and confused.
“Why do you make me feel like this?” She asked as she looked at her and gave her a look that was surprisingly gently on Rinne’s usually dramatic and smug face.
“How do I make you feel?” Niki asked with more confusion than concern.
Rinne didn’t speak at first until Niki asked again in which she just wrapped both arms around her slowly, there was silence as Niki was embraced and Rinne pressed her nose to Niki’s nape like some sort of calm feral animal. Niki went to speak again but silenced it as Rinne spoke, “you make me feel sick. Ill. I hate and love it. I hate that it happens, I hate that you make me feel weak and vulnerable but I love that it’s you…it’s addicting,” she whispered as he squeezed tighter to prevent Niki from moving. Niki stayed silent but kept her gaze on the oven watching the timer tick down. 5:37, 5:36, 5:35…
“You are addictive, and everything I feel around you is painful but I love it,” she smiled softly, “you make me feel sick but also safe. Weak but strong. Loved but humbled. Wanted but not needed. I love that-“
“Do you think I don’t need you?” Niki asked with genuine sadness at that as she turned to her, “because I do need you, I love you Rinne chan.”
Rinne paused and chuckled weakly, “that came out wrong,” she smiled and pressed her head to hers, “I feel like you want me around but you don’t need me around to function.”
Niki smiled and rubbed one of Rinne’s hands, “well of course, I don’t need anyone to function,” she smiled and gave Rinne the softest kiss on her temple, “but I want you to help me function better.”
Rinne paused and looked at Niki a bit shocked at the kiss, though she admittedly liked it greatly. She smiled sighed as she hugged her close and nuzzled into her, “you aren’t helping.”
“Not trying to help, now let go so I can get the pizza.” Niki smiled and luckily Rinne wasn’t in the mood to be a little shit so she let go. Niki grabbed her mittens and slipped them on to remove the pizza. Niki could feel Rinne watching her from behind as she took out the pizza. Specifically staring at her neck. She had by now mastered the ability to know when her nape was being admired and thirsted over. It was an odd skill but she now had it.
Rinne was thinking, hard. What HiMERU said flooded her mind like a monsoon of realization. Niki was distracted and handling food so she was preoccupied. Rinne could easily walk right back over and drag Niki away once she sat the pizza down or she could sinfully tarnish this kitchen with Sapphic love. Or her third option could be to walk right off and bury these vulnerable feelings down into a cavernous hole in her soul and never let them rise up. Leading HiMERU on and saying Niki denied her and just never bringing it up. That might work. She was considering it until Niki sat the pizza on the counter to cool and began to fan it down. The smell snapped Rinne out of her day dream and she focused her eyes on Niki.
“We’ll have to wait until it cools, but it is ready,” Niki smiled and turned to Rinne who was staring at her with not a thought behind her eyes. “Are you okay Rinne chan?”
Rinne hummed and looked up into Niki’s eyes, “how long?”
“Uhhh, probably a few minutes. Maybe 8,” she smiled as she took off her mits and sat them on the counter, “now what’s wrong. Are you still drunk?” She asked as she stepped forward and gently looked Rinne over by moving her hair and turning her head from side to side.
“Nah I’m not drunk, just thinking,” Rinne smiled and fought her grabbing by jerking her head around before grabbing Niki’s hand to stop her.
“You’ve been thinking a lot then. What did HiMERU tell you? Did they scare you or something?” She asked as she raised a brow.
“Of course not! We just talked ya know,” Rinne said defensively before moving Niki’s hand to her shoulder.
Niki in turn turned her hand and rubbed a strand of Rinne’s hair between her thumb and index, “I worry about you sometimes.”
“Why? Do you not like my affection Niki Kyun~,” she purred and leaned in smugly but Niki’s face didn’t change.
“I do like it, but when it’s so random I get worried, because I know the next moment after you will be all playful and eccentric while I’m stuck just wondering,” she sighed and looked up at her, “why did you go from talking about how I made you feel to not even reacting after I kissed you on the cheek?”
“How do you want me to react?”
“With something! Something so I know you are in there and know I love you.” She exclaimed as she cupped Rinne’s hands and squeezed them, “I really love you Rinne chan but you going from one important topic to something so random and not letting the topic breathe. So please. Tell me how I make you feel and react to me!”
“I did tell you? You make me feel a lot of things-“
“Do you love me.” Was all Niki asked as she gripped her hands.
Rinne paused and looked at her before biting her inner cheek, “Niki…that…that holds a lot of weight…”
“Do you love me Rinne chan. Because I love you,” she whispered and leaned in just a bit with a sort of melancholic look.
Rinne blinked and her eyes flickered around Niki’s face before landing on her worried and expectant blue eyes. Rinne did not know what she felt, or at least she wouldn’t admit to it. HiMERU had told her off for it and allowed that vulnerable shell to break and some sort of realization that Rinne did love Niki shine through. But it was hard to accept. But Niki…
Niki was looking up at her with a worrier gaze, every second that ticked by Rinne could feel the hope in Niki’s eyes fizzle out like a dying fire. A fire Rinne loved.
Niki sighed and let go of Rinne’s hands, “I assume this means that whole marriage thing was a huge joke right?” She frowned and rubbed her arms awkwardly.
Rinne frowned and gently touched Niki’s arms, “it’s…it’s not a joke…I meant it Niki.”
“So why won’t you answer?” She asked as she looked into her eyes and leaned forward like a puppy asking for attention.
Rinne moved Niki’s hair and pressed her head to hers silently. Her heart was thumping wildly and her body was shaking from nerves as she built up the words like a tower of blocks, “I’m afraid to love you.”
Niki blinked and looked at her through her lashes, “why?”
“You don’t deserve someone like me…you are too good for me,” she admitted as she began to see blurriness and a heat pool in her eyes.
“Rinne…”
“Everything you do and everyone you help is thankful and grateful for you. You bring safety where ever you go and I can only make people annoyed and destroy. I’m nothing like you… you are beyond me and deserve more than this runaway princess.”
“What makes you think you aren’t deserving of love?” Niki asked as she moved her hands to Rinne’s cheeks and stared in shock as Rinne teared up and her makeup began to water down and clump in the corners of her eyes.
“I’m a mess…a horrible mess,” she smiled weakly as she began to cry, she didn’t make a noise but her tears fell down her face. Niki smiled endearingly and wiped her tears as Rinne gripped her shoulders.
“You’re my favorite mess…I only hope one day I can clean that mess up,” she smiled and rubbed her tear tear trailed face. Rinne shuddered and gripped Niki harshly before she bit her lip and squeezed her eyes. Fighting back. Niki smiled and moved a hand to the back of her head and pulled Rinne close before kissing her eyelid, “I love you Rinne chan…not even you can scare me away.” Rinne let out a noise like a shocked sob and pulled Niki in close to hug her tightly. Niki joined her in the hug and smiled as she held her. The only sound was the gentle cooing of Niki to calm Rinne down and the soft hitching of breath as Rinne cried on her shoulder. Rinne needed this. Needed this comfort. Needed to be held and told it was okay to cry. She needed Niki.
Niki was the first to pull away, she pulled back and cupped Rinne’s cheeks and rubbed her wet cheeks, “deep breaths Rinne chan…”
Rinne took a deep breath and looked at Niki with still wet eyes and smiled at her before Niki pulled her down and kissed her nose softly. Rinne sighed at that and pressed her head to Niki’s. They said nothing.
Rinne gently moved her hands up Niki’s arms and then back down to her wrists. Niki smiled at her and pushed her head against hers as Rinne pushed back and they felt down to each other’s hands which they began to caress slowly. Niki had soft thick fingers that were beautifully tan with a lighter palm. Rinne gently rubbed her long slender fingers across the pale palm and intertwined them with Niki’s fingers. She smiled and moved her head to Niki’s shoulder and kissed it. “Do you really love me..” she whispered softly.
Niki blushed and smiled, “I promised to hold your hand and walk with you through anything. Always staying beside you. And look,” she smiled and held up their intertwined hands, ”we’re holding hands.”
Rinne smiled and gave Niki’s hand a squeeze, “you did didn’t you…”
“I also said I love you soooo much, can I kiss you,” she said with a tone of smugness which Rinne promptly shut down.
“You got me crying and shit don’t ruin it Niki kyun.”
Niki smiled and gave Rinne a kiss on the cheek anyway that Rinne didn’t want to fight. She hoped she may get the real deal one day but she was happy with this. With her and Rinne.