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Of course it was strange. How could it not be? For years, it had just been their sunlight and warm laughter and soft poetry. Just a small group of unlikely siblings with seemingly unconnected talents living under the same roof, eating at the same table, battling on the same team, and happily spending any other free time with one another. It was nice. Especially when compared to the crowded chaos of the Hermes cabin or the bitter loneliness of Poseidon’s, the Apollo kids always felt right. Everyone had a place and everyone felt comfortable no matter where their maternal life resided.
Within the past few years, they experienced the loss of two head counselors: Lee Fletcher and Michael Yew. Both deaths had been difficult, but they pushed forward and gained Will Solace as the newest leader to the cabin. Naturally as the eldest of Apollo’s children, Will was the next in line for that position and luckily he slipped into the role perfectly. His commanding yet charismatic nature made him ideal for the job. He loved his siblings and his siblings loved him. Whenever someone had a problem or just needed to talk, Will would always be there lending that ear or advice (not only was he skilled with the physical aspects of doctorial work but Will also became their unofficial therapist).
This continued for a little more than a year. The far-seeing god’s children ever so slightly changing and growing alongside new battles and challenges, but their cabin life stayed relatively the same. However, the lives of teenagers are never truly stagnant so major changes are bound to occur and – specifically in this case – romance.
Young love was something not uncommon within Camp Half-Blood. Although most of the time it consisted of the idealistic fantasies played out by the Aphrodite cabin as they dreamily quoted Oscar Wilde or compared themselves to Shakespearean Lovers. But watching genuine love mature out of the ashes of tragedy – especially to someone you dearly care about – is a truly beautiful thing, even if the person they’re falling for is, well, so different.
Austin Lake and Kayla Knowles were understandably shocked the first time their half-brother confided to them his developing crush on Nico di Angelo.
“Really?” said Kayla one night from behind a bunkbed as she put her pajamas on. “But he’s so… You know, weird.”
Will’s laugh echoed through the cabin. “I don’t know. I just think he’s cute and I can’t stop thinking about him. There’s just something about Nico, you know? And, oh man, when he smiles-”
“Wait! Nico can smile?!”
“Oh shut it!” Will grinned, chucking his pillow in Kayla’s direction.
After that night, Austin and Kayla noticed all the obvious signs of Will’s affections towards Hades’ son. The way he would make sure he sat on the left side of their table so he could watch Nico from his, how he would stay with Nico for an ungodly amount of hours while he healed at the infirmary, the I’m-so-not-sublte-that-I-have-the-hots-for-you-but-I-think-I’m-being-super-slick flirting whenever he was within a mile of the poor boy. Will was determined and persistent.
It all would have been hard to watch if it also wasn’t so apparent of Nico’s matched feelings. While Will thought he was subtle with his wooing, Nico thought he was subtle with how much he enjoyed it. Sure he would act like he would get annoyed with Will’s tenacious seduction, but everyone saw how Nico would lean as close as he could to Will while the two talked as if, instead of Will being the son of the sun god, he was the sun himself, pulling Nico with his fervent gravity; just the slightest inch of air in between their bodies held together with electrifying tension, the heat of it begging for them to break through. Being such a confident person, sometimes Will would give in to its wishes with a prolonged touch on the arm or to brush an out of place hair from Nico’s cheek. With each touch, the child of the Underworld would creep ever so closer to his sun. Unbeknownst to them, people began taking bets on when they were going to finally get together.
“This is just painful,” said Austin. “You need to ask him out already, this is ridiculous.”
“Of course I want to!” said Will, still not talking his eyes off Nico sitting alone at his table. Somehow the crushed red pepper from Nico’s pizza stuck to his upper lip made the heart of Apollo’s son ache even greater. “I guess I’m afraid of scaring him away.”
Kayla choked on her sprite. “Okay yeah you definitely don’t need to worry about that one. You are probably the least intimidating person and he’s – and I say it out of love – the scariest.”
She and Austin turned to glance at the boy who captivated their brother’s heart just as the said frightening boy was coughing into a napkin and picking the pepper off his too-spicy food.
“Well maybe not so much now, but you know what I mean.”
The table jolted as Will thrust himself up.
“Alright, enough’s enough. I’m going in. Wish me luck!”
Straightening his shirts and patting down his wavy hair, he strode over to his heart’s destination, feigning confidence with each step.
His siblings kept watch from their table.
“Wow, I guess it’s finally happening,” smiled Austin.
“Do you think he’s really gonna do it?”
Austin paused. “Five drachmae says yes.”
“Deal.”
And so with intense concentration, the two watched.
As they couldn’t hear from all those table away, the scene played out like a silent film.
Too focused on plucking off every last red flake, Nico didn’t realize someone was walking up to him and jumped when Will made his announcement. Both their faces blushed. Will rubbed his arm, saying something to the table’s fascinating marble surface, and pointed towards the bathrooms. Smiling and face growing a deeper shade of red, Nico nodded and the two walked off.
“Whelp,” said Kayla, “I guess we gotta put that bet on hold.”
By far the best part of Camp Half-Blood was the perfect weather. Never a storm or harsh wind or skull-breaking hail. Just mild temperatures and a gentle breeze every now and again to wipe away the sweat off your forehead. Always ideal for a day of archery.
Kayla balanced variously sized bows and stacks of arrows as she headed to her designated teaching spot. Even though she was young, Chiron instantly caught attention to her pronounced archery talents (of course having one father who’s a master archer and another father who’s the god of archery, her DNA is quite literally made for a bow in her hands) and asked her to teach the other campers. Agreeing to said task had been immensely rewarding and her mortal father proclaimed his pride for her when she told him, which made her love it more and work even harder (even if each time she got a pang of homesickness).
She gently placed the stack on the grass and began to properly set everything up as her students trickled in. As always, Austin joined her with setting up the targets.
“Hey guys!” sang a voice behind the siblings, making the two jump. “Need any help?”
“Will?” said Austin. “Wait, I thought you’re rock-climbing around this time?”
Will shrugged. “Yeah, well after that last burn I’m taking a bit of a break from playing around freakin’ lava.”
Kayla snickered. “Alright, you can help Austin with that target,” she leaned close to Will and lowered her voice. “He never seems to get it straight.”
“Hey, I heard that!” Austin punched his sister’s arm and the two laughed. “Wait! – oh my gods, speaking of not straight: what happened between you and Nico?”
Face flushed and eyes lowered, Will smiled and glowed brighter than their father.
Kayla handed Austin precisely five drachmae.
According to Will, him and Nico were keeping things quiet (or as quiet as the camp would allow them) for a bit of time. The whole “relationship” thing freaked Nico out. He had only recently come out and didn’t want people making a big deal about it all, but then again any form of attention made the child of the Underworld nauseous and want to hide back in the shadows.
While the rest of the camp didn’t need to know their personal lives, Will still disclosed to his siblings each miniscule moment of their growing relationship.
“And then what happened?”
Austin and Kayla sat on the ledge of the small couch at the front section of the Apollo cabin. Kayla mindlessly chewed her fingernails as she listened to the only lovey-dovey stories she actually cared about and Austin suffocated one of the sun-shaped pillows.
“Well,” said Will, sitting crisscrossed on the rug in front of the couch and aimlessly picking the fibers of the other pillow, “we were chillin’ up against the side of the stables – you know, where it looks out to the forest? – and we were so close to each other and I was holding his hand which was just, oh wow. You know, you’d be surprised by how soft his hands are fo-”
“Don’t care, please stay on track,” interrupted Kayla.
“Right! Right, okay. So then I just asked him, ‘Hey, can I kiss you?’ and you know what he said?”
“What?”
“Okay!” He closed his eyes and sighed, flopping his back on the floor with his arms stretched over his head as his pillow precariously leaned on his side. “And then I kissed him. You know what, it was even better than I imagined. Gods I never wanted it to stop. I don’t even know how long we stayed like that for, and I don’t remember when it was I held his face-” he made the motion with his right hand towards the ceiling like he was trying to grab a moth- “but I’ll tell you, when I felt his hand press up against my back and pull me even closer to him? I’m surprised I didn’t pass out from joy right there.”
He sighed again, taking in the memories.
“Then the stupid flying lesson ended,” continued Will, sitting back up, “so we had to stop.”
Kayla plucked off a piece of her nail from her tongue that she accidentally chewed off.
“You know,” she said, “you can let Nico know that Austin and I don’t think there’s anything bad with you two being all couple-y in front of us. Like, yeah I still think he’s odd but I’d be cool to actually get to know him. Plus it’d be good for him to understand people don’t think he’s weird for being gay, he’s weird because he likes to eat food off freaking bones.”
“That’s cute!”
“That’s so weird, Will!”
Will smiled. “Yeah okay. I’ll tell him in the morning. Thanks guys.”
Hushed whispers settled through the dining hall. Heads twisted to see the apparent display of sinful disorder being committed. Some steadily watched Chiron wondering when he will put an end to it.
The Hades table sat empty.
The Apollo table talked and laughed and ate without concern, happy to include the new demigod. Shoulders pressed with the cabin’s counselor sat the black-clad body of a boy who had no relation with Apollo.
“What is he doing over there?”
“Does Chiron see this?”
“Have the rules changed?”
“Guys, it’s not that big of a deal.”
“Wait, does that mean they’re official now?”
“If Nico gets to sit with his boyfriend I should be allowed to sit next to mine!”
The mumbling lengthened and pushed its way into every crevasse. Deciding this was no longer something to ignore, Chiron rose from the head table and made his way to Apollo’s. An awkward silence filtered through as people pretended to not be watching and instead took special attention on just how much better the rosemary bread is when dipped in oil.
Chiron cleared his throat. “Excuse me, Nico di Angelo, but I don’t believe that is the Hades table? Is it not?”
The boy in question stilled, face flushing crimson, and kept his eyes locked on the edge of his plate.
“Well, sir,” said Nico, voice straining with contempt yet forced politeness, “given that I’m completely alone at my table I figured it wouldn’t be that big of a deal if I actually got to sit with others. Plus you have said I can sit at different tables in the past.”
“Yes,” said Chiron, “but that was before we had a table of your father here. Now that you have your own spot, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to sit there. If I let you sit wherever you want, then it would be unfair to the other campers.”
Nico pursed his lips and continued to scowl at his plate, refusing to look behind him.
“C’mon, Chiron,” said Will, “I don’t see why he can’t stay.”
“I’m sorry, but unless di Angelo has a good reason to be at this table tha–”
“Fine,” Nico snapped, abruptly grabbing his plate and standing up.
With shoulders slumped, he made his way to the Hades table and slammed the plate down. He didn’t look up at everyone watching him and instead just picked at his food as if it smacked him across the face and called his mother a whore.
“Sir,” Will looked back up at Chiron, “is it really that big of a deal?”
Chiron sighed. “Sorry Will, but rules are rules.”
“Oh, you’re a genius!”
Sweet floral air from the Green wafted into the cabin as Austin opened the door, slung his saxophone in its case off his back – careful to not let it smack against anything – and made his way to the beds.
“Who’s a genius?” Austin asked.
“Nico is!” said Will, holding up Nico’s hand like a trophy.
The two boys were nestled up against the wall under one of the windows to avoid the thick beams of light attempting to coat every inch of the room. The past few days had been right at the point of being uncomfortably hot for the majority of campers and many had been finding refuge at the beach, the shadows of the woods, or, like Will and Nico, in the confides of the cabins. It had even been hot enough that Austin noticed Nico uncharacteristically wearing a pair a shorts (which, Austin further noted, were actually one of Will’s – a denim of slate gray with threads of white dangling from the hem) and was barefoot, exposing newly-painted black toenails, the sharp chemical smell of the polish still fresh. Even through the heat, however, they pressed their bodies against each other – sticky knees against sticky knees, entangled arms glued together with sweat.
Although Will was happy to see his brother, Austin could see Nico flinch when he entered and kept his body tense against Will and the wall as if he was a pheasant in the grass where the slightest sound will cause him to fly off. It was a tick of Nico’s the Apollo kids were trying to help him break. Being publicly intimate was still difficult for him, but luckily he was slowly making progress within their cabin (“Nico, I literally have two dads!” Kayla would constantly remind him), even if he still got embarrassed if Austin or Kayla saw anything unannounced. Austin never wanted to make a big deal about it – like the way Kayla sometimes would – and would attempt to show Nico his support and love with not mentioning when they held hands or kissed when Nico believed neither were looking.
From under his bed, Austin pulled out a leather box that housed supplies for his saxophone and began cleaning his instrument.
“So,” he said, pointedly not looking at the two to ease his brother’s boyfriend, “what’d you come up with, Nico?”
“Tell him!”
“Oh,” started Nico, “it’s about the table situation.”
Austin smiled in encouragement. “Yeah?”
“Well I was thinking,” Nico’s face turned red and Austin could feel the heat of his embarrassment from the other end of the cabin, “that. . . I don’t know, it’s dumb.”
“No!” said Will. “It’s really awesome! He was thinking that he could raise up a bunch of zombies and stuff in the dining pavilion – you know, just create a bunch of chaos and annoyance and crap for everyone – and say that it’s because he has a ‘mood disorder,’ as diagnosed by his doctor-” Will pointed to himself with his free hand- “then I’d write up a doctor’s note how the only cure for it is for him to sit with others, and voila! Nico, gets to sit with us!”
Austin laughed. “Dang! That is some genius work right there. Nice thinking, Nico, Kayla’s gonna get a kick out of it.”
Nico smiled at Austin, finally relaxing his body, and squeezed Will’s hand as his boyfriend beamed with pride.
As Will predicted, Nico’s plan had been a success.
For just under a week, skeletons ran amuck during every meal at the pavilion. Younger kids cried when they got close and the experienced campers kicked them down, shouting at Nico to knock it off.
“Sorry guys,” he would hum, “I just can’t seem to control it.”
Finally when it felt like a long enough time, Nico announced how he’ll finally seek medical help for the problem. Those who knew Nico and Will well enough (or anyone keeping up with the camp’s gossip) realized then that this entire frustrating situation was, in fact, something Nico could help and that he was definitely just lying to be with his boyfriend. But no one said anything. As long as Nico stopped raising the dead, the two could be snorting cocaine and ketamine right on Apollo’s table for all they cared.
Nico received the doctor’s note (the “i’s” above “William” dotted with little hearts) and promptly flaunted it to Chiron and anybody else who gave him stick for not sitting at his designated table. The first time he sat with the Apollo kids after gaining the permission to do so, he strutted to that table with a noticeable swagger.
Chiron didn’t fight them or question them. He – like all the other residents – was just happy Nico’s antics had finally ended.
Will was absolutely ecstatic. It didn’t matter to him if what he and Nico did was perhaps ethical or not, but why did that even matter? Even if Nico didn’t unwillingly cause the dead to rise when he sat alone didn’t mean that he disagreed with his medical advice. Nico had obviously been emotionally distressed sitting alone. Who wouldn’t? Personally, Will believed the rule of “You have to sit at your parent’s table” was completely archaic. It left people who didn’t have any siblings vulnerable and made them feel like outsiders. Unwanted. Unloved. A freak. That was all how Nico felt about himself and it tore at Will’s heart. He cares for Nico so dearly and would do anything in his power to help Nico love himself even a quarter of the way Will loves Nico, and if that meant bending the rules and lying about the need for a doctor’s note, then honestly Chiron can suck it.
As the weeks went by, it felt as if Nico had always sat with Apollo’s kids. No one asked or whispered or even thought about it anymore him sitting with them. The new growing comfort of being open with the public was apparent and Austin and Kayla were grateful for this.
No longer did they have to tell Nico how everything’s okay or see him tense up around them. Whenever the cabin did anything together, Nico was always involved even if it was a “cabin only” activity.
“Oh, I have a doctor’s note,” Nico would always say as he flashed the paper.
While the siblings were grateful with how relaxed Nico felt with them and his relationship, the two began to notice two things: first, that the only time they wouldn’t be hanging out with Nico was right after the campfire when everyone went to bed, and second, they began to see less and less of their eldest brother.
Whenever Apollo’s kids did anything nowadays, Hades’ son was always smacked right with them, him and Will practically glued at the hip. For a while it had been fun. They surprisingly loved getting to know Nico and spend time with the boy who made their brother so happy, but soon they realized they never had anytime together as a family the way they used to. And with Nico always being in their group, Will would spend almost all of his attention to him. Whispers only they could hear, inside jokes, loving touches, and recently, Italian (it was bad enough not being able to know what they were saying, but hearing Will’s choppy Italian drenched in a harsh American accent could get unbearable).
Then the other times the three would normally hang out, had steadily shaved down to just two. Kayla and Austin were used to the many times it would be the two of them while Will was caring for someone in the infirmary or was at a counselor meeting, but now it became a constant.
First they thought it was just because of the increase in demigods injuring themselves for why Will was consistently missing – with, of course, Nico becoming essentially his nurse. (Once Austin put the image of Nico dressed in a skimpy Halloween nurse outfit to Kayla as a joke and the two heavily debated swallowing bleach to get it out of their minds.) But they soon found out their brother and Nico had taken a liking to hanging out in the Hades cabin so they could spend time alone.
At the beginning of their relationship, Will would constantly gossip to them about any little thing that him and Nico had done or said and soon they realized that this too had disappeared.
“Relationships need their privacy,” said Austin as he helped put away a stack of arrows.
“I guess,” said Kayla. “It was just always fun to hear the gossip, you know?”
Her brother laughed. “Yeah, I know.”
The soft grass brushed across her ankles and calmed her thoughts. Kayla smiled, grateful that she had Austin.
Of course, Austin was entirely right. There were many things she certainly didn’t want to know and found out by accident.
“Hey, can you toss me that shirt?” asked Will one morning as he came back in the cabin from his shower. “I realized I accidently grabbed one of my dirty ones.”
Kayla scoffed as she collected her day’s outfit. “See? This is why you need to be more organized and not leave piles of dirty clothes next to the clean ones.”
But nevertheless she reached over to Will’s apparent Clean Pile and grabbed the shirt on top.
“Thanks,” said Will, chucking the mess of dirty clothes and damp towel he was carrying into a basket.
Before Kayla turned back to her drawers, she took a double take at her brother, eyebrows scrunching together with concern.
“Dude, what happened to you?”
Will laughed. “What are you talking about?”
“All those bruises?” She motioned to the varying sized bruises speckled across Will’s neck and chest. “You okay? What happened?”
“Oh,” he quickly put the new shirt on as his face flushed red. “That, umm, got it from Connor. Practicing swords. Ha, yeah. You know Con, shows no mercy!”
It was weird seeing Will get so embarrassed. In fact, Kayla couldn’t remember once seeing him get flustered about something like that.
“Welp!” he continued. “I’ll let you get back to gettin’ your stuff. Soon the showers will be full. See you at breakfast!”
It wasn’t until breakfast when she noticed similar bruising peeking from under the collar of Nico’s jacket where she realized Connor wasn’t the one who gave Will those marks.
The strain between everyone had started to become more and more apparent for Kayla and Austin, even if Will didn’t realize it. If fact, he absolutely didn’t realize it.
He has always been the type to steer things in a positive light and see the joy in things. Out of the many epithets their father has, Will exemplifies best Phoebus. Light. He radiates it through every cell and every word. In times of fear or distress, just the presence of Will could help the situation, which was why he made such a good leader, doctor, and friend.
Sometimes his own light and joy can get in the way of realizing the moods of others, however. Normally he doesn’t. But that was before he fell in love.
His brother and sister missed him. It was as simple as that. They missed spending time with him as Apollo’s children. They missed the poetry slams out by the strawberry fields and secretly climbing on the roof of the Big House to watch the sun rise over hills. They even missed the hours Will would spend gushing about the latest medical research, reading out loud the stacks of peer-reviewed journals full of words and ideas neither could conceptualize.
But things were still civil.
Will continued to not get a feel for the room.
There had to come a point when either Kayla or Austin would break. Perhaps they should have discussed their feelings with Will the way they used to, but everything just felt so, strange. Not really a topic younger siblings would want to bring up. And they still were happy for him and the joy Nico gave him, they just wanted to be a part of his life again.
The tinny screech of the whistle howled out across the arena, calling off the battling demigods.
“Knowles,” called Sherman Yang hustling over to the girl in the dirt, “you hurt?”
Kayla slowly lifted her hand that was clutching her calf to reveal a deep slice, the blood oozing into her sock and dripping on the ground, mixing with the dirt to create grotesque clumps.
“Damn it,” she hissed through gritted teeth.
“Oh geez, Kayla I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to,” said Theodore Price, a new unclaimed camper about two years her younger. It was his first time properly fighting with a sword and another person. He held the sword awkwardly as if at any moment it would jump back and bite him, so his method was to just start swinging like he was attacking a swarm of wasps.
“You should clean that up,” said Sherman. “Need any help?”
“I got it. Thanks.”
Her calf stung and she had to use the towel Sherman handed off to her to act as a makeshift bandage, but it was nothing she couldn’t handle herself.
She gave the borrowed sword to Theodore (still frantic and practically in tears that she was going to bleed to death) and limped her way out the arena. Behind her, Kayla could hear Sherman smacking the young boy on the back of the head saying how at least they know he’s not an Ares kid.
Kayla made her way to the infirmary. Even though her cabin had a variety of medical supplies the infirmary was closer and she knew her way around it. Most campers preferred to stay away, but it always had a sort of homely feel as a child of the Healer. There was also no point to hunt out for Will, her injury was a quick fix and she knew he had flying lessons at this time.
Recently, Chiron had been keeping the room locked since he noticed an increase in items missing – nectar, aspirin, jars, needles – and frankly was tired of trying to track down who specifically did it and of having to restock. So him and Will each have two sets of their own. While Will always kept one on his person, the other he hid tucked in a broken panel at the side of the Big House with a little lichen-covered rock on top that only the Apollo kids new about.
She snatched the key from its hiding place and went inside.
The room was thick and stuffy with the desperate need to open the windows, the darkness adding to its claustrophobic feel. Not quite remembering where the light switch was, Kayla blindly brushed her hand against the wall closest to her, sporadically jolting it as if on the desperate hunt for the button to a trap door. But something caught her attention and she sharply stopped, listening intently to the muffled out-of-place sounds.
Was there a patient in here? Normally Will would always let them know when there was someone he was caring for, but given how little they talked nowadays, Kayla wouldn’t have been surprised if he forgot to mention it.
Quietly she made her way to the cots – putting her own injury on the backburner – and noticed one of them had the curtain around it. Through the curtain, she could hear the muddled sounds of strange whimpers and belligerent movements as if they blamed their obvious pains on the bed. A spout of anger sparked in her chest. How could Will just leave someone in this sort of state and not even tell someone? She doubted even Chiron knew. She was glad that she could be there. Even if she wasn’t as medically knowledgeable as her brother, she at least knew miles more than the average camper.
“It’s okay,” said Kayla. She kept her voice hushed and gentle to not startle them, but they obviously didn’t seem to hear her.
She delicately peeled back the sky-blue fabric, ready to help in whatever way they needed, but was not anticipating what she saw instead. Still holding the curtain, Kayla was a frozen deer and her stomach twisted.
On the cot lay Will and Nico – unaware of Kayla – caught up in illicit hospital-room cavorting. They lay pressed together, Will over Nico – thankfully still clothed – embracing as tight as possible as if they’ve been sentenced one final moment of touch. Nico’s leg twisted over Will’s lower back, Will holding onto his thigh so tight blood-vessels were breaking under the denim. They rocked. Slow and deep. Frenetic and rough. Will lead yet their hips were synchronous, each rolling hungrily closer into the other, desperate for friction. They gasped and moaned through each movement, eliciting sounds Kayla would spend a lifetime trying to forget. With one hand Nico held to Will’s upper back under his crumpled tank top and clutched Will’s mess of hair with the other, pushing their mouths impossibly closer so their tongues could scrape the backs of their throats.
They were too preoccupied with each other. Their bodies, their breaths, their taste, their hips. Nothing else existed in the world.
Kayla still stood, locked in the perpetual nausea running through her body. Her mind frozen, eyes glossed over, her grip still choking the fabric like the hands of a frightened child. Time and movement stopped all around except for the two in front of her.
It’s not like this sort of a thing is a surprise, however. She and Austin (and most likely a myriad of others) knew that their brother and his boyfriend got up to a number of things neither wanted to think about. She knew of the shared hickies and could easily guess the sort of things they must get up to in Nico’s solitary cabin. One time during dinner, the two darted off together to the bathrooms only to return much later carrying the salty ting of sweat with Will’s hair chaotic and lips swollen, Nico unable to look at the others’ eyes but bashfully smiling under his soft blush for the rest of the night.
But it was the fact that she was standing here, witnessing it, seeing her own eldest brother – who she regarded in the brightest light – partake in this sort of act that repulsed her. It was the same sort of revulsion one feels when the thought of how you were created creeps its ugly head and you have to plug your mind and frantically start thinking about how cute cats are instead.
Nico sharply gasped as Will moved to his neck and slide his hand more intimately along Nico’s body. And for not even a second, Nico’s eyes flittered open and his gasp turned into a curse as he finally noticed they were being watched.
Time started back up in a whiplash.
As Will too realized, they scrabbled and cursed in an attempt to hide their exposure, the embarrassment of the two creating an even more feverish heat to the space. Kayla tried to explain, jolted words without any complete sentences as her lips and throat just barely breaking free of her paralyzed state.
Will’s voice rose above the commotion. “Get the fuck out of here!” It was sharp and guttural and scathed through Kayla. It snapped her body back into working condition and without another word she bounded out of the room.
A numbness settled through Kayla’s body. She ran as blood trickled down her calf and her mind buzzed with static. She carried herself through the grass, drifting along.
Should she go back to the arena? They’d surely ask her why she’s still bleeding. Should she find Austin? Tell him what she saw? What was said? Go to the cabin? Run to the woods and vanish as a ghost? Filed as missing but in reality had become a part of the earth where bones are dirt and blood is moss?
She found herself amongst the strawberry fields – the warmth baking their sweetness into the air – and realized she stopped running. When had she stopped? She noticed, too, the world was blurry and stung.
Kayla brushed her cheek and saw they were moist. She didn’t even recognize she was crying, but a pain began to encompass the numbness and fully take over. Her throat felt rough and swollen, her stomach burned in sync with her legs and the sting of her injury made its return. But she let that pain settle. Let it burn. Let the tears come in full and choked on her sobs. Louder they grew, heavy and ugly. Uncaring of the fruit crushing under her feet.
Will had never yelled at her before. Never yelled at any of his family. No matter what he always kept a level head with them, especially with his role as counselor.
His voice made her sick. The images of moments ago made her sick. The dam had finally broke and it hurt.
So was this it? Her and Austin were just the placeholders until Will found someone better? Someone who was so different from them? Someone he could hold and kiss and fuck? Why should family be any less important? Why was she no longer good enough to be a part of his life?
The world around her was indistinguishable with the filter of salt and distain. The fields stretched further and further around her with her aimless steps and sobs of aggrievement. She didn’t want to stop and didn’t plan to stop. If Will was going to treat her this way, fine, whatever. He obviously wouldn’t give a damn if she vanished. She desperately wanted to.
“Hey!” a voice peeped up from out of nowhere and startled her out of her stupor. “You okay?” the voice continued.
Kayla looked over to the source and found a large blond-haired boy sitting against one of the old trees that trickled in the fields from the woods’ outskirts. She faintly recalled his face but since he looked like one of the old college-aged campers, she only knew him like a background figure in a dream.
She wiped her face with the back of her arm. “Yeah,” she answered with feigned joy, “I’m fine.”
The boy scoffed. “No you’re not.”
She stood there, ears ringing with the monotonous drones of crickets. A breeze kicked by and she could feel lines of drying blood crackle.
“Come join me,” he said when she stayed quiet.
It felt strange to go sit with someone who seemed as a stranger, but Kayla’s legs drifted her over. He moved a pile of books from one side of the dark tartan blanket he sat on and scrunched over to make more room. Awkwardly she sat down.
He closed the journal in his lap and tossed it with the books. “Sorry, bad with faces. What’s your name again?”
“Kayla Knowles.”
“That’s right! Apollo’s daughter, yes?”
“The one and only.”
“Yes, yes. And you teach-” he mimed pulling and releasing an arrow in a bow- “the archery now?”
“Yep.”
“Damn, that’s cool,” he said, “I can’t even imagine being so young and teaching all these demigods. Hard to teach the younger ones?”
“Sometimes,” said Kayla. “You know, to tell you the truth it’s all the older people who are the most frustrating – not that I’m saying you older campers are bad or anything! It’s just that they see me and I guess it pisses them off to be taught by someone who’s younger and hasn’t even been at camp as long.”
He laughed, full and bright with an intoxicating quality that made her smile. “Yeah, no, I totally get you!”
It felt good talking with him as if they’ve been longtime friends meeting up in the park after years of separation. He radiated a kindness that – along with his curly blond hair – made her think of Will, causing a spoonful of her slow-growing joy to sizzle away. Kayla leaned deeper against the tree and picked at her nails as the boy rummaged in a black book-bag.
“Um,” Kayla started, “and what’s your name again?”
He brought out a lighter and an almost empty Marlboro cartage, popping one of the cigarettes between his lips. “Pollux,” he said through gritted teeth, clicking the lighter with one hand and cupping his other around the cigarette. When he got it lite, he tossed the lighter and box back in the bag. He took a deep draw then continued, “nice to properly meet you, Kayla.”
“Same to you,” she said.
Hearing his name didn’t ring any major bells, just a faint memory from years past before they brought down Kronos. She remembered Pollux being the other to partake in the funeral rites for each other’s brothers. She was so young at that time, had barely even started up at camp, but already she lost a brother. Looking back, she feels bad that she didn’t grieve as she would have now. Having brothers was something she’d never experienced before and for her at that time, it felt more like meeting distant cousins or playing some game. But then again everything was new – her godly father, the camp, the monsters, the battles, even America. Michael had been the one to speak for Lee. He spoke with dignity and hope and brotherly love. She remembers the weird numbness during the funeral, everything was hazy and cold as she watched people mourn; even this felt fictional. My brother’s dead, she kept telling herself trying to get herself to cry, gazing at his body wrapped in golden shrouds. She felt guilt that she wasn’t crying, her own brother was dead yet she didn’t cry. From Lee’s rites, it moved to Castor’s and as she saw Pollux unable to speak, she finally wept. She didn’t even know those two – and honestly was intimidated by them since they were Mr. D’s children – but seeing the twins next to each other – one dead and wrapped, one alive and exposed – she felt a sense of true loss. Even now, shamefully, she knows that if she lost another brother, she would never experience what Pollux felt.
The sloshing of liquid in a metal bottle brought her out of her memories.
“Here,” said Pollux as he wiggled a bottle near her face then plopped it good-naturedly into her lap, “it’s hibiscus. Always makes me feel better.”
Kayla cautiously opened it and peered inside to see the pink liquid – dark from the shadows of the tin – and smelled its floral sweetness, mixing with the sour smoke Pollux breathed.
“Don’t worry, there’s no backwash,” he said, “I only just poured some out for Castor. Promise, drink!”
It took her a moment to realize what he was talking about.
“You know,” she said, awkwardly hovering the bottle inches from her mouth, “I don’t think I’ve ever poured libations for Lee or Michael.”
“Not many do,” said Pollux. He stared at the fields, a slight soberness settling on him. He breathed deeply into his cigarette, the tip glowing slightly.
Feeling guilty, Kayla drank the tea. It was cold and sweet with a punch of ginger that was almost too spicy, but looking back, it will forever be the most wonderful thing that has ever graced her lips. She couldn’t even remember what nectar used to taste like for her.
“You’re right,” said Kayla, “it does make me feel better.”
He smiled at her and she handed the bottle back to him.
“And I don’t care about backwash,” she added.
They sat in a comfortable silence, passing the bottle back and forth with one another and taking in the unappreciated beauty of the camp’s outskirts – verdant fields speckled with the red of fruit, thick pines and highland-like hills protecting the grounds, the clouds folding and melting against the cordial winds. Their world in that moment was calm and still and perfumed with joy. Pollux – Kayla found – was calm and still.
When she remembered who he was – a son of Dionysus – she was surprised. His father frightened and confused her when she was young, he always held that madness and ecstasy which she didn’t understand. But she figured his twin sons would possess those same discomforting qualities. Pollux definitely holds a physically intimidating presence – he’s built like a football player, thick and tall but still with the lingering pudginess from his childhood; his voice is demanding and without fear; his eyes, especially, scare people. A deep violet. Beautiful. Bewitching. Fictitious, like he always wears costume contact-lenses. They are the same eyes as his father. The same madness inducing, intoxicating, feelings of losing yourself eyes of Dionysus. Godly eyes that burn with power. Making direct eye-contact is near unbearable.
Sitting here with Pollux, now and then glancing at his face – soft and blushed, feminine and impossible to imagine with facial hair – she saw that his eyes were serene. Still that striking violet, but tamed like a growing summer’s night instead of the drunken pulse of bodies with the crazed lust to rip apart the unfortunate.
“Hey,” said Kayla, “what are you even doing at camp anyway?”
Pollux coughed (whether it be from the smoke, tea, or the abruption of the question, Kayla doesn’t know). “What?”
“Sorry, I mean like. Didn’t you go off to University? I feel like I haven’t seen you around camp since forever.”
“Oh!” he nodded in understanding. “Yes, yes, I did. Do. I’m over at NYU –”
“What’re you studying?”
“Theatre, naturally. Specifically playwriting.”
“Oh now that’s surprising, coming from a Dionysus kid.”
“Like how it’s oh so surprising of an Apollo kid teaching archery?”
Kayla laughed and held up her hands in defeat. “Touché!”
“Yes. Well, I come back ‘cause I like it here. The city gets crazy, you know? Plus-” he leaned to Kayla as if exposing some incredible secret- “here, I don’t gotta pay rent.”
“Why don’t you live with your mortal parent?”
“Mom’s an actress. Travels. I think she’s out on the National Tour for An American In Paris? Not sure. We’ve never been close. It’s pretty much always been just Castor and I.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Here at camp, I at least get to still be around him. Like, even if it’s just memories and stuff. But camp was always our favorite place.”
Pollux barked a laugh, startling Kayla.
“One time,” he continued, “when it was mine and Castor’s sixteenth birthday, us and a bunch of the Hermes guys snuck into Chiron’s stash of booze and stole bottles and bottles of the stuff – that guy has the craziest flavors of vodka! – and went out to party with the Maenads.”
“You guys had a bacchanal?”
“Gods no! I’m pretty sure Dad would’ve killed us if we did! No, no. We just got super drunk and danced and stuff all night. Of course I think the best part was after, watching everyone deal with their awful hangovers the next day. Greatest thing about being related to Dad is we don’t get hangovers.”
He lifted the bottle up as if cheering the sky then took a generous swig.
“Man, that would be awesome,” said Kayla. She’d never even tasted alcohol before but for whatever reason, she wanted to impress Pollux. “Wait, why does Chiron have alcohol? I thought it was banned?”
“Yeah maybe for Dad, but is that gonna stop Chiron? Nope. No way! You think anyone could handle being around demigods for infinity without a little help? He keeps loads of wild stuff in the Big House. You name it, he’s got it. I go in there all the time. That’s where I first got these-” he snubbed out his nub of a cigarette on a little tin box Kayla never noticed- “started up after I lost Castor.”
Kayla could feel that somberness threatening to return, but she followed it.
“Hey,” she lowered her voice, “I’m really sorry about your brother.”
He held the silence, tapped his thigh in thought, then took out another cigarette. Secretly Kayla wished he would offer her one despite her young age.
It almost seemed like Pollux didn’t hear her or was ignoring her, then he finally spoke back up.
“You know,” he said, “I tried to kill myself, after he died. Even through all of the shit that we’ve gone through and the high possibility of one of us dying, I don’t know, it just never felt like it could be one of us. Or if it was, we would have gone down together. All cinematic and stuff. It didn’t feel real. Going to my cabin alone-” he shook his head as his voice cracked and took in a draw- “I just couldn’t take it. I think the worst part about us being identical is every time I’d look in a mirror or get a glimpse of my reflection, for just a moment, I’d think it’s him. I’d even thought about blinding myself it was so awful. But no. I’d still know he’s dead.
“I tried out in the lake. I don’t think I slept once in that cabin, in that silence, after. I wanted to sleep so bad, and to be with him and talk to him and fight with him and have a brother again. Who was I without my twin? So, one night I just got up, went to the lake, and walked in. No note, no nothing. I didn’t care about grandeur or poetic-ness or whatever. I just wanted it done. But obviously that didn’t happen.” His laugh was hollow.
The smoke from his lips buckled around him in dance, trying to comfort him but vanishing before it could. Kayla had the sudden urge to squeeze his hand or hold him, but she stayed still.
“If you don’t mind me asking,” said Kayla, “but what happened?”
“Your brother,” he smiled at her, kind and genuine. His eyes glistened and were tinted with red but held such love it caught Kayla by surprise. “Apparently, before the sun even came up, he found me half-in-half-out on the shore unconscious. ‘I just had a feeling,’ he told me. I had so much water in my lungs I would have for sure died if Will didn’t find and helped me. And not just the physical practically-drowning stuff, but he helped me through everything. Didn’t even tell others what I did, but was always there when I needed to talk. He’s a great guy, your brother.”
“Wish he still was,” Kayla mumbled. She knew it was inappropriate but her previous anger rose in her gut like bile.
“That why you were so upset when I saw you?” said Pollux.
She shrugged. “Yeah. He just- Gods, I feel like I shouldn’t be complaining about my brother after what happened to you.”
“No, no please!” said Pollux, “Don’t feel bad, all families fight. Hey, I’ll tell you back in seventh grade when Castor and I had a crush on the same girl? Oof! Talk about nonstop war!” He bumped his knee against Kayla’s. “Go ahead.”
She took a breath then told him about Will and Nico. About how happy she’s been for them but now how it seems like she and Austin have been forgotten, that they don’t matter anymore. How much it hurts but also the guilt she feels.
“I don’t want Will to think it’s either us or Nico – I love Nico, and it’s great to see them so happy,” said Kayla, “but like, I feel like I never get to hang out with Will anymore. Just Will.”
Pollux listened intently. Keeping his full concentration on Kayla’s words, only moving to sip the almost-empty tea or breath in his cigarette.
“And today,” she continued, “was the first time he yelled at me.”
He made a noise of recognition and nodded his head. “I’m surprised, coming from Will.”
“Yeah, well,” she looked down at her fingernails, not wanting to relive her brother’s tryst. “I sorta, accidently, walked in on him and Nico, umm.”
“Oh!”
“Yeah. Over at the infirmary. When in to fix this-” she lifted her injured leg- “then I saw that.”
“Oof,” he said. He brushed flecks of ash off his leg but it crushed into the fibers of his khakis instead. “Did you know that Dad invented dildos?”
“What?! Gross – what the hell – no he did not!”
“It’s true!” Pollux laughed. “Apparently Dad needed help finding a way to the Underworld to find my grandmother, so some guy – Prosymnos, I think? – said he’ll help Dad in exchange for sex. Of course Dad said yes, but when he came back to, you know, return the favor, Prosymnos was dead. So to still live up to the promise, Dad made and, umm, used, a dildo to fulfill it.”
“Oh, gods, why did you have to put that in my head?”
“That’s what I said when Travis told us,” said Pollux. “I swear, Castor and I couldn’t look at Dad for days. Finally we talked to him about it.”
“What did he say?”
“He just smacked me on the back and said, ‘Son, this is why I invented alcohol!’”
Laughing with his memories he peered into the now empty bottle.
“Yes. It’s still weird – don’t think I could ever go into a sex shop – but hey, that’s just what comes with having Hellenic gods for parents. My point is,” he added, “is that there’s a lot of crazy stuff with families. I know for a fact that Will feels awful for what he said, and you know he’s embarrassed about everything. Man if Castor ever saw me doing something like that, you know I would’ve walloped him right there out of embarrassment alone.”
Kayla smiled.
“Go talk to him. Let him know how you feel. Seriously. I know if I could have just one more conversation with Castor, I would give the world for that.”
A breeze kicked up, ruffling his hair and books messily scattered at his side. Ibsen, Shakespeare, Molière, even – funny enough – Plautus and Euripides, their names and words threatening to escape but held back by their tight binding. She felt such warmth for Pollux, she could have stayed there forever with him and just talk. It felt good to be listened to, fully, without the distraction of a lover.
She stood up. “I will. Thank you for everything, Pollux.”
“Hey, anytime,” he said as she started to walk away.
“Oh, and Pollux,” Kayla stopped for a moment, turning to look at him, “I know I’m not Castor, but I’d be more than honored to be your sister.”
He smiled and the world felt whole.