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“Enough with the theatrics, Wilbourn. You’re going back to a padded cell.”
The voice came at her from all directions. A second later the lights flickered out, blanketing the vaulted ceiling in shadows. Lisa found her face illuminated only by the glow of her smartphone. The men around her shifted nervously.
Lisa couldn’t help but chuckle. It wasn’t on brand for her, but it was a little funny, the song and dance routine. They’d both pretend they want to kill the other, they’d both pretend the other looks ludicrous, and they’d both silently admire each other’s dramatic flair.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” she told her boys. “I’m not the only one with an iPhone, right? Light this place up and shoot her down!”
The men gathered their wits and drew their weapons, aiming at the ceiling.
“You heard the boss, let’s perforate this bitch!” Brooks snarled. The room erupted with gunfire.
Lisa took the chance to slip away. The building they’d raided was huge but designed to be navigated by an army of scientists and middle-managers. With Lisa’s abilities, she could do it with her eyes closed.
Her quarry would be kept under lock and key of both the digital and physical variety. That stuff came easy to her, but she’d have be quick about things. Otherwise….
Jaw crashed to the floor behind her. She didn’t turn to look, but she could tell who it was by how hard he fell. Not ideal, but this fight wasn’t a contest of strength anyway. Plus, Brooks could set bones as well as any doctor.
Bones crunched and Brooks let out a scream of pain. Definitely not ideal.
Lisa finally reached the secure door at the edge of the room. The keycode was easy to guess, someone should’ve skipped the cafeteria’s chili fries. She whipped out her gun and shot the keypad as she slipped through the sliding door. The security protocols should lock down the door, preventing any further access.
A few seconds of time bought for herself. That was good.
In front of her was something better. A panoramic screen stretched around an impractically large keyboard. The logo on the oversized thing was just a massive ‘W.’ Ugh. At least she was tasteful about her brand.
The glass door behind her shattered and her enemy swept into the room. Perfect timing.
“Riddle me this,” Lisa said. She turned on her heel to deliver her best smirk. “What has the tensile strength of a toothpick but comes with a four-figure price tag?”
“Your jaw?” the girl growled.
As she brushed bits of shattered glass off her cape, she drew closer. The large yellow eyes, the black cowl, the flowing black hair, it was all so moody. Lisa wanted to give the girl a damn makeover. She’d settle for some mild maiming and humiliation.
“I meant the supposedly bulletproof door behind you, but I suppose that was an overestimation.” Lisa tittered. “You’re low-balling the cost of orthognathic reconstruction these days though. Never trust a plastic surgeon who sells himself short.”
“I don’t trust anyone who associates with scum like you.”
“Does the Hippocratic oath mean nothing to people these days?” Lisa complained. She dodged a punch and stumbled back into the computer. “I guess your rules are way easier to remember, huh, Batgirl?”
“Not killing isn’t just a rule, it’s a distinction between me and you,” Batgirl told her. “And I’m not Batgirl. I’m not even associated with him. I work alone! ”
Another wild punch. Still new at this. Lisa ducked low and hucked a swivel chair into Batgirl. It wouldn’t hurt through that thick armor, but it was enough time to hit four keystrokes on the computer.
Batgirl grabbed her by the collar. Lisa took the time to peek down, and yep, that was a definitely bat logo. Silly heroes and their egos.
“If you work alone, how’d you answer my little riddle?” Lisa asked innocently. “That was more than a one man job, y’know.”
“Do you mean your little limerick about heart, mind, and spirit?” Batgirl rolled her eyes. “Batman is handling the situation at the university. You should know the damage caused by your little riot cost way more than you were asking for as ransom.”
“That was accounted for.”
“Of course it was.” Batgirl’s grip tightened on her shirt. “The harbor being the heart was easy. The police are handling that. I figured out the atrium-slash-atrium pun, by the way, it wasn’t even difficult.”
“Wasn’t meant to be that difficult,” Lisa grumbled. “Otherwise it wouldn’t be fun.”
“All that left was the brain, which you weren’t even subtle about,” Batgirl said. “And obviously you wanted to go for the brain yourself.”
“And what, pray tell, is your reasoning behind that?” Lisa demanded.
“Easy. You’re a textbook narcissist with an uncontrollable drive to appear intelligent and competent all the time. Of course you’d go for the brain.” She shoved Lisa into the console and withdrew a pair of handcuffs from her belt. “It’s not my job to psychoanalyze you though. Have fun at Arkham.”
“Aw, you’ve got me pegged,” said Lisa with a sigh. “Listen, I hate to be a bit of a know-it-all, but you forgot your other dumb rule.”
“Oh really?” Batgirl stared her down, looking as unamused as ever. “And what might that be?”
“No guns.” Lisa grinned and fired from the hip at the ceiling.
Maybe calling herself the Riddler and posing as a mad genius was a little narcissistic, but Lisa still wasn’t stupid . Holding the university’s debt hostage was a distraction, as was the riot that ensued. Threatening to dump enough concrete in the harbor to wall it off, that was mostly a joke.
The job at Wallis Tech, though, now that was the real score. Lisa wouldn’t leave that up to chance.
She’d stolen the data she needed weeks ago.
She’d hacked the Wallis Tech server hours ago.
And she’d planted the bombs at least fifteen minutes ago, long before any Bats showed up.
Batgirl lunged at her, but it turned into a heroic tackle as the roof exploded in on them. A teensy bit of C4 wasn’t enough to bring down the building, but Lisa didn’t pull her punches. The ground shook beneath them as Batgirl shielded Lisa with her body.
Plumes of dust billowed around them, wires sparked, and Lisa let out a shriek of a laugh.
“That’s how we do it in Gotham, baby!”
🦇🦇🦇
“Tough night?”
He seemed to materialize at her shoulder, so sudden that it made her heart skip a beat. Taylor gave herself props for not flinching this time. She turned to face him.
“Riddler got away, like she wasn’t even trying.”
“That happens,” said Batman. “Sometimes the bad guys get away.”
“She didn’t just get away, she won,” Taylor groaned. She rubbed her neck through her armored cowl, where a chunk of rubble had glanced off. “She was just playing with me the whole time.”
“If she played you, she played me too,” came the quick reply. “I should’ve realized there was more to her plan than just a three-pronged assault on the city. This is my failure to shoulder too.”
“What did she steal from Wallis Tech?” she asked. “Tell me it’s nothing too bad.”
“Nothing too bad so long as she doesn’t extrapolate.” He checked a glowing screen built into his hefty gauntlet. “The damage can be mitigated. Most times, that’s all that can be done.”
Taylor looked at the husk of the Wallis Tech research and development center. She huffed out a breath. “Maybe you’re right. Things could’ve gone worse, probably. At least no one died.”
Batman clapped a hand on her shoulder. “That’s right.”
“Thanks for letting me help,” Taylor said. “Maybe next time, we could coordinate from the Batcave?”
She turned to look up at him hopefully, but he was already gone. The apartment rooftop was empty save for a cluster of potted plants. Taylor groaned loudly and began the arduous climb back down the fire escape.
“Flighty asshole.”