Chapter Text
When Travis heard about the ones who left the city’s safety and found freedom, he had to look into it. When he found out it was possible, he had to tell his friends about it.
This city was… shit. It was safe from the raiders and feral people who the wild had claimed years ago, but the state of the city wasn’t great. Morale was low, there were fights almost everywhere you looked, and resources were running thin.
The leader of the city had an iron grip on what people were allowed to do, how far they could step out of line. Fights were whatever, as long as you kept it away from enforcers. But if you spoke up against what the leader was doing, that was too far. They just wanted somewhere where they could talk, and make the jokes they wanted, and just be.
Travis brought up the stories to his friends, Ted, Noah, Charlie, and Cooper, and all of them agreed that freedom would be better than safety.
So they packed what they could, and loaded up a stolen van with enough tanks of gas to get them a ways away from that fucking city.
Then they stopped. Where would they go? They hadn’t ever been outside the city walls, what were they supposed to do? They hadn’t ever relocated like this, how would they even get their lives started back up?
Thankfully, Noah pays attention to things around the city. He’d heard about some guy who’d recently moved here from another city, a decent ways away.
They could ask him. He would probably know how to make a new life somewhere, know how to help them make new lives elsewhere…
So that was how the five found themselves at the door of a stranger, someone who could possibly be the key to their freedom, someone who-
“What the fuck do you want?” the man said when they finally knocked long enough that he answered. He was definitely a someone, Travis would give him that. Almost as tall as Ted, and with some… interesting facial hair… he did not look like what Travis had imagined.
“Well, uh. We were looking for a Mr. J Schlatt?” Charlie asked, smiling, though it wasn’t as wide as it normally was. It seemed everyone was off-put by the man.
“You’re looking at him.”
“Right. Well, Mr. J Schlatt, we’d like to ask you-”
“Just Schlatt.”
“Okay, um. Schlatt. We’d like to ask you about your recent relocation to this city.”
“What about it.” He seemed… how should Travis put this. Hostile.
“Well, see. We were also looking to relocate,” Ted cut in, taking the conversation from Charlie, who was fumbling.
“Good for you.” Schlatt started closing the door. Ted stuck his foot in the door, effectively stopping it, and then pushed it back open.
“Well, Schlatt, we were wondering if you might help us.”
“No.”
“We didn’t even say with what.”
“Well whatever it is, no.”
“Well what if it’s got something in it for you?”
“Don’t care.”
“Oh come on, you can’t possibly want to stay here ! It’s shit here! You can't speak out or do much of anything! You’ll see that soon enough, if you haven't already! Come on, you seem like the kinda guy who says whats on his mind. You cant do that if you stay!”
“But why should I help you?”
“Because we are asking nicely.”
“No.”
“Because we don’t like the restriction of freedom either. Haven't you ever felt trapped somewhere?” Cooper asked, trying a different approach than Ted.
“Yeah, actually, and it's a lot better here than in some other places.”
“Well maybe we wanna find better places! It’s just new to you now, but once you get used to it here, it’s a shithole. Come on. Please? We can pay you or something!”
“Will you stop asking if I take you somewhere and then leave?” Schlatt sighed.
“Yes,” the five of them said simultaneously. Schlatt sighed and ran a hand down his face.
“Fine. When?”
“Oh, as soon as possible. Can you be ready today?” Travis asked excitedly.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because, dipshit, it’s gonna get dark soon. You really wanna start your little ‘quest’ at night? There are raiders out there, never forget that,” Schlatt said with a roll of his eyes.
“Oh. That is… that’s a fair point. So tomorrow then?”
“I guess, if you have to leave that early…”
“Yes.”
“Fine.”
“Great! See you at dawn!” As Schlatt shut the door, the group could hear him grumbling about ‘fucking morning people who won’t leave him alone’. They started walking back, all talking excitedly about finally getting out of this shithole. Badgering Schlatt into taking them out of the city would be a great idea.
_____
Schlatt hated this. Why the fuck had he said yes? Why had he caved so easily?
Well it wasn’t like it was the end of the world. He could just not do it, not show up wherever they’d said to meet.
The next morning, Schlatt was awoken by a loud knocking at his door. What the fuck? He rolled out of bed and dragged himself to the door. He was too tired for this shit.
He peered through the peephole. Fuck , it was those weirdos from yesterday afternoon! Fuck, they actually came back? They were serious? He never packed or anything!
Wait. he could just tell them no. This was fine. This was okay. He opened the door.
“I changed my mind, I’m not helping you,” he said.
“What?” the tall, dark-haired guy, said incredulously. “Why not?”
“Well for starters, I don’t want to, and besides, I don’t even know you!”
“But…” the short, curly haired guy pouted.
“Schlatt, come on. We’re offering you a lot here,” the tallass spoke again.
“Like what? You said nothing about that yesterday,” Schlatt challenged.
“Like money. You’re new here, I’d be willing to bet that you haven’t found a job yet, you’re probably looking to earn some money.” Schlatt had nothing to say about that. It was true. “Well if you help us, we’ll pay you. Deal? Just business.”
“Just business. Fine. Deal. Let me get my things.” He let them into the main room, and disappeared into his room to throw some clothes into a bag. He reappeared a few moments later, having put things into a backpack.
“So, you’re a, um, a minimalist, huh?” the tallass said in reference to Schlatt’s barren apartment.
“Not really, just haven't gone furniture shopping. There’s not really any good places to go, and I've found it hard to find a decent moving crew, so it’s fine like it is at the moment, thanks,” Schlatt snipped. Tallass raised his hands in surrender, and rolled his eyes as Schlatt ushered them out and locked the door behind him.
“Right this way,” Curly said. They walked him to this rather suspicious looking van, where the other three were loading the last few things. One of them wordlessly took Schlatt’s bag, and put it in the back for him. After a few minutes, they all got in the van and started driving.
“So… where are we going again?” Schlatt asked.
“You’re gonna tell us how to get to your old city,” one of the guys, who wore a bucket hat, said.
“Okay, hold on, you don’t want to go there. There are plenty of other cities on the way, why don’t you go there?”
“Why didn’t you just go to one of those cities then?”
“None of your business, Buckets.”
“Buckets?”
“Your hat.”
“My name. Is Cooper.”
“How the fuck was I supposed to know that? None of you ever introduced yourselves.”
“Oh, did we not? Okay, well easy fix. I’m Cooper, this is Travis, Ted, Noah, and Charlie.”
“Oh. cool. And I’m… never gonna remember that.”
“Then why did you ask if we would introduce ourselves?”
“I did not.”
“At least make an effort!”
“This is for business, Buckets. I don’t have to do anything except lead you to a city.”
“Great, we hired an asshole…”
“That you did.”
_____
This was a mistake. They never should have hired Schlatt. Sure he was their guide, but he was a complete asshole. He didn’t really bother learning their names, or if he did, he didn’t bother calling them their names. He just made up nicknames for them and refused to call them anything but, despite how much they corrected him.
He called Ted Tallass, Noah Beardy, Travis Curly, Charlie Gamer guy, and Cooper Buckets or Bucket boy. And quite frankly, Ted was sick of him.
They’d run into several raider groups due to Schlatt’s shit directions, and had to fight them off. And the man was of absolute zero help. Despite claiming to have travelled to their former city mostly on foot, he was a shit fighter, and an even worse navigator. This guy was full of shit.
In several fights that they had fought with the wild raiders, Schlatt had simply hid, and taken out people when convenient for him. Or he’d just shoot them from far away, but if he couldn’t hide or run fast enough, someone else would have to save his ass.
Schlatt made it very easy to blame him. If anything went wrong, it was usually his fault, or if it wasn’t, blame was shifted to him anyway. Ted was seriously considering just leaving Schlatt at the next place they camp at and letting him figure it out for himself. He supposedly traveled to their old city alone, he could figure something out.
He was just such an asshole! So argumentative, never willing to just give it up, and he never called them by their real names, always those stupid fucking nicknames.
But Travis wouldn’t let them kick him out. They had all talked it over one night while they were camping, and Schlatt had gone to sleep already. Travis thought he was funny, so it wouldn’t do to kick him out. Not to mention, given that they could argue with Schlatt, it created a lot less opportunity to argue amongst each other, which they all had a rather extensive history of doing so.
So from that angle, Schlatt helped the group get along. With everyone except him.
So morale was higher as long as Schlatt was around to push back against people, and as long as he would take the blame, the guys had no reason to fight with each other, which was a first for them.
They asked Travis why, that night that they’d debated leaving Schlatt behind.
“He’s funny,” came his simple answer.
“But he’s mean! And it's not like he isn’t mean to you, too!” Noah challenged.
“But he doesn't exclude me in his mean jokes. Doesn’t underestimate me. You guys do. I’m not defenseless, if he goes too far I know how to defend myself.”
“We know, but it’s just… you’re like our little brother! We feel bad being mean to you…” Cooper contributed.
“Well I'm not your little brother. I’m your friend, and I can handle mean jokes just as much as you can.”
“Sorry.”
“So I don’t think we should just leave him.”
The next day they were all back in the van, Schlatt still telling his jokes and being an asshole in the back row. Ted turned up the radio, and Travis chatted with Schlatt as the others rode along in the van.