Chapter Text
“And this will be your room. You’re welcome to decorate, add furniture, paint the walls, whatever you like. We included a pamphlet with our meal schedules and other things you’ll have to know, and later this afternoon I’m sure Smoothyggdrasil will want to talk to you after you’ve settled in a little bit.” The monk, a young woman who had introduced herself as Alieta, pointed to a smooth wooden desk pushed against a wall with a slip of paper on it, smiling warmly. “It’s a pleasure to have you here.”
“Ah, yeah! Yeah, it’ll be fun.” Kaj had only brought over xir small bag that xe’d packed of things from xir boat, and sea was pretty sure the monk had noticed how light it looked but hadn’t said anything. “Thanks for the tour.”
“You’re welcome! I’ll leave you to it now unless you have any questions?” Alieta smiled and waited expectantly in the doorway, her hands behind her back.
“Uh… all good for now, I think… Who else lives in this dorm?” Kaj asked. Xe’d been introduced to people throughout the whole tour, but ever since Alieta had led xem to this dormitory, a roughly octagonal-shaped building about a minutes walk from the main Moabbey, it had been rather quiet.
“Oh, the other Aspirants and players! This whole dorm is dedicated to it.” Alieta explained. “Except for Sigmund, they’re outside but you saw them already. I imagine they’ll all come by soon to say hello.”
Alieta departed soon after with a final welcome and promise that someone would come to get shore if sea was needed, leaving Kaj alone with a room devoid of anything but basic furniture and a buzz in her stomach.
This was going to be fine. A new adventure and hey, a lot more free time! Xe’d been expecting it at some point, really. Could only hang on as the worst player on the team for so long before the Fans ran out of other plans and whims for their Wills. Maybe now sea could actually go on some longer trips again without being beholden to a Blaseball schedule.
It didn’t take shore long to unpack. An extra blanket, some books, a portable speaker and music, the cutlass Jayden had gifted xem, an assortment of trinkets, knickknacks, and photos xe’d managed to stuff in there. The basics were already supplied to xem, and so much was built into xir boat or too big to fit anyway. Sea’d been able to park shore boat a little ways away from the Moabbey, so sea could go fetch more things if sea needed… but it certainly felt a lot barer than shore regular room.
That was alright though. It’d fill up eventually. Keeping most of shore things on shore boat would make it easier to take a trip anyway.
A knock came at xir door, and when Kaj opened it xe saw a collection of about ten people crowded around curiously, along with a large peanut shell that had the name ‘JOE’ painted over it in black paint.
“Welcome to the Shadows!” The person closest to the door smiled, one hand stuck out in front of her to shake. “I’m Harriet, I’ve met you before but now we can do it properly.”
“Kaj Statter Jr..” Kaj took Harriet’s hand and shook it firmly. “As I’m sure you all already know.”
Everyone gathered went around to introduce themselves or let someone else introduce them, as well as listing a few people that weren’t present for whatever reason that xe would surely meet soon.
“And then Siggy’s outside and you already know Joe.” Harriet finished off with a soft tap on Joe’s shell. “If you happen to know morse code…”
Kaj scoffed. “Who doesn’t know morse code?”
There was a short silence.
“Well. None of us now.” One of the others said, getting some snickers. “Ask us that last year-”
“So what happens up here? What do you all do for fun?” Kaj asked. If anyone would know, surely it would be these guys.
“On weekends we can go down to Hellmouth to help with smoothie deliveries, that’s always really fun!” Someone piped up, and Kaj nodded. Xe’d spent about a decade doing mail deliveries in Hellmouth, smoothies couldn’t be too much different.
“We do training every day, and mock games, those are my favourite. Then during the season, we can watch the actual games if we want.”
“Once a month we do camping trips to the valley or desert to help sharpen our survival skills and bond as future teammates.”
“And gardening! Bickle brought a bunch of cool plants while they were here, taking care of them is fun.”
“Other than that it’s just kind of whatever you want, assuming you’ve taken care of all your responsibilities.”
Kaj was still nodding, going slower and slower with each suggestion. It didn’t sound as boring as it could’ve been. Camping trips definitely sounded fun. “Cool, cool. What about like… longer trips? We’re not playing games so we can do like… proper trips, right?”
The others exchanged awkward glances, and Harriet cleared its throat. “Not… really? We’re all kinda bound to the Moabbey so if you stay away for very long things get… weird.”
“What do you mean?”
“You get pulled back eventually… after like a week or two.” Harriet continued. “You’re not really supposed to leave.”
Technically, this was not new information to Kaj. It was why sea’d had to ferry Nagomi back and forth so she could do psychopomping during Seasons 16 and 17. But… perhaps xe had hoped that once xe was in there, there’d be a loophole. Something the other Shadows could tell xem about, some hint or trick or cheat, one that Nagomi hadn’t taken advantage of because she’d only been going to Hellmouth anyway, not further.
It’d be fine. It wasn’t like sea was in prison.
“Ok… so how long have you all been here?” Sea tried asking, since the others were all just kind of standing, the welcome wagon reaching the point where everyone had introduced themselves, there was no more vital information they needed to share, and no clear direction on what to do next.
“Oh, I’ve been here since Season Twelve!” Harriet seized on the new topic, smiling brightly. “So… ten years now! It’s been amazing, honestly.”
A whole decade. Since before Kaj had even joined the Sunbeams.
“Cool!” Kaj said, even though the idea made her blood go cold. But now the others were all chiming in.
“About three years for me.”
“Since Season Fourteen.”
“If you don’t count last year as resetting the count, Joe’s been here since the end of Season Seven. That’s what, thirty years?”
“Like, nearly thirty for me.”
“Since Season One for us. This year was the fortieth anniversary, I guess.”
“That Phineas thing was here for what, a couple of weeks?”
“I’m glad eir gone, honestly ey freaked me out-”
“You’ve been here for forty years?” Kaj couldn’t help but stare at the person who had said that, they and a few others just shrugging and nodding.
Jayden had been here since Season One. Had been sitting waiting for a chance for thirty years before she finally got it.
“Wow. That must… you guys must be pretty patient.” Kaj said.
“You get used to it, I guess.”
“It’s nice here, though.”
“Cool. I’m excited to be here. Can’t wait to hang out with you guys.” Kaj flashed them a smile. “Though, I’ve still got some stuff I need to unpack so…”
“Do you need any help?”
“Nah, I’m pretty particular with my stuff, I’ll be fine. I noticed on the little pamphlet that uh- lunch is like a group thing? I’ll see you all then! You can tell me more about this place!”
There was a small chorus of goodbyes and promises of exciting stories and questions about what it was like on the Sunbeams before they finally began to disperse and Kaj closed the door behind them, swallowing tightly.
Forty years. Three at a minimum. Unable to leave for longer than two weeks.
It was going to be fine. Sea could handle anything. Sea’d been able to handle a death game, sea could handle this. There was plenty to do, plenty of friends to make, plenty of things sea could learn. Ways to bide xir time until… until…
Until xe got out again. If xe got out again. It was going to be fine.
The first thing Kaj learned about life in the Moabbey was that it was a lot more structured than the Sunbeams or regular life in Hellmouth. They were still a lot looser than perhaps a regular abbey would be, and the schedules were more of a suggestion than a requirement. If sea missed a meal, there was nothing stopping shore from going into the kitchen later to make something for shoreself.
But there was actually a schedule, one that included training for Kaj and the other Aspirants. Training that everyone actually showed up to. As opposed to the Sunbeams’ typical approach of running drills when someone (usually Hahn) suggested them, which would typically be attended by whoever felt like hanging out that day. There was a whiteboard in the Solarium dedicated to keeping track of how many training sessions everyone had skipped out on (and showing up just to take a nap on the bleachers did not count as attendance). Nagomi was in the lead.
Even beyond that, everyone was expected to contribute to the upkeep of the Moabbey, even if Blaseballers like Kaj got off a little easier to compensate for having to train. Still, they were responsible for keeping their dorm clean, Kaj was supposed to help with dishes one night a week, and xe volunteered to help with smoothie deliveries, offering up shore boat to make travel quicker.
Sea had plenty of free time to get to know the others, check out the library, admire the various murals that had been painted on the walls or the stained glass of Knight Triumphant that was there for some reason (sea was sure someone would explain if sea asked, but Kaj found it funnier the less sea knew about it), take a walk around the grounds or visit Hellmouth.
It took about a week for the novelty to wear off. Another for the routine to start to grate.
“Soooo, how are you settling in?”
“God, Jayden, I know you grew up there and I mean this in the nicest way possible, but how did you not tear your hair out from boredom?” Kaj groaned into xir smoothie, leaning against the edge of xir boat while other monks unloaded smoothies, some of the other Aspirants helping out. “Everyone’s nice, really nice, the whole place is nice, don’t get me wrong-”
Jayden snorted, rolling her eyes. “You haven’t even gone on a wilderness trip or anything yet. You just need to keep yourself busy.”
“Oh, I’m trying. But somehow even the disco lights on my boat feel like they’re dimmer! It’s depressing, frankly.” Kaj gestured vaguely about shore boat, and Jayden nodded sympathetically.
“Yeah, that’s the Shadows. How’s Disco Ball holding up?”
“She’s having the time of her life, of course. Tearing up the mountainside.” Kaj muttered. “I’m being dramatic, really. Somehow adjusting to the death game was easier.”
“It’s just the culture shock, you’ll get used to it. You could get into sword-crafting, that’s what I did. Or bone law. Paula probably has some tips too, or maybe Nagomi. Or the other Aspirants.” Jayden said.
“I’ll be fine. Like you said, it’s a culture shock. It’s only been a couple weeks, I’ll settle.” Kaj fiddled with shore smoothie’s straw, sighing.
“Hey Kaj, we’re nearly ready to go back.” Tot, one of the other Aspirants, walked up to them, supported by a smooth dark green carved cane, smiling lightly at them both. “Hi Jayden, how have you been?”
“Good. Nice to see you… again?” Jayden winced a little, and Tot just nodded.
“Yeah. Congratulations on your six stars, by the way, we were all so excited for you back home.”
“Ah, thanks.” Jayden relaxed a little. “Do you guys need to head off? I should probably get going anyway. Kaj, you gotta tell me how you’re settling in next time you come down.”
“Oh, but I…I already did that.” Kaj trailed off a little, and Jayden blinked, before grimacing.
“Right, right- sorry. It’s-”
“The Shadows,” Kaj answered for them. Memory nonsense. Sea’d known that had been part of it. A bit different actually experiencing it. “Of course. Don’t worry about it, Jay.”
“I’m gonna miss you next season. Bye!” Jayden gave xem a quick one-handed hug and a wave to Tot before heading off.
“You get used to it,” Tot said in a soft voice once Jayden was gone. “The memory thing. They probably won’t remember much of whatever conversation you just had next time you see her.”
“Why does it do that? What’s the point?” Kaj asked, and Tot just shrugged.
“Just one of those Blaseball things. Supposed to protect us somehow, or something. It’s easier for you, you’ve played before. People actually remember you exist, just not what you say.” Tot glanced out towards the town for a moment, before exhaling. “I think everyone’s ready to go now.”
Kaj found shoreself nodding, going through the motions of setting off back to Haystack Mountain, leaving the town of Hellmouth behind them. Back to the walls of the Moabbey that were starting to feel like they were pulling in closer with each passing day.
“I had no idea that thing could hold a bat.” Someone murmured.
They were gathered in the Moabbey’s main common room, a collection of monks and Aspirants alike, for the first game of Season 19, muttering to each other as the Sunbeams and Worms recovered from a bout of Immateria flooding the field, the Solarium’s single fuzzy camera following Nagomi and Howell picking globs of Immateria off their clothes as they trudged back to the dugout. At bat, Phineas Wormthrice was preparing for eir first-ever play in eir first-ever game.
Kaj’s eyes were glued to the screen. Xe had been aching for the season to start, for something to distract xem, but now that the game had actually started xe was starting to regret it.
Sea wanted to be out there. On the field, danger or no. Xe wasn’t necessarily the biggest fan of the splort ever but by god at least it was something. Training just wasn’t the same, as fun as the other Aspirants could be.
There was a crack of a ball hitting a bat, a few scattered gasps as a tiny little pink yarn creature rounded the bases. A home run, just like that. Eir first-ever at-bat and ey’d gotten a home run.
Surely, the Fans were patting themselves on the back for replacing shore with em.
“Huh,” Xe murmured, xir skin crawling. Suddenly, watching the game wasn’t quite as appealing.
If anyone noticed xem slipping out of the room, they didn’t try to stop xem, and sea walked the halls of the Moabbey quietly until sea got to the library. Sea found shoreself coming here often, in hope of finding something interesting enough to calm xir restlessness that was only getting worse, and today xe began going through shelves, looking at titles long enough to know they weren’t intriguing and then moving on.
It was ridiculous, really. There was no reason for it. Sea had things to do, sea and the other Aspirants had gone on a camping trip and hike to Oowah Lake, which had been great! It had been fun and xe’d gotten to know the others and there’d been enough mishaps along the way to keep things interesting. But barely a day after they’d returned, Kaj had begun to feel shoreself aching again.
Sea just needed to adjust. Get used to it. It’d only been a month or so, sea’ll settle. Xe picked a book off a shelf and flicked through it absently before putting it away and then doing the same to another.
“Are you looking for something, Kaj?” Xe glanced over xir shoulder to see one of the monks, an elderly man named Jeremiah who was in charge of the library.
“Nothing in particular. Probably making a mess of the books, sorry.” Kaj put the book sea was holding away, wringing shore hands together and sighing.
“Ah, to be honest, it’s not very organised to begin with,” Jeremiah said with a chuckle. “Takes a lot of effort to neaten it all up, but I can help you find something interesting.”
“If you’ve got any recommendations, I’d love to hear em.” Kaj said.
Jeremiah nodded, beginning to peruse among the shelves while Kaj walked next to him, holding out xir arm after a moment for him to use as support. “How are you finding things here in the Moabbey?”
Suffocating.
“Peaceful,” Xe said instead. “You guys really have a whole little community up here all sorted out.”
“Yes, we’ve worked hard on that.” Jeremiah smiled. “My grandparents quite a few generations back helped build this very building, you know. As close to the Sun as we could get it.”
It was hard for Kaj to appreciate the Sun these days. A perpetual shadow had passed over xir vision, even when xe stood outside in the middle of the day. It didn’t seem to affect the monks, and it certainly hadn’t affected xem when xe’d visited the Moabbey in the past, so xe knew it was because of the Shadows. Sea hated it.
“I’ve seen the sunrise from the top of the mountain, it’s pretty incredible,” Sea said instead.
“It is, isn’t it? Ah, I think this might be perfect for you.” Jeremiah paused, gently pulling a book from the shelves. “You’re a sailor, aren’t you?”
History of Marine Exploration. A massive galleon was painted across the front in impressive detail, and the blurb promised an in-depth look at human exploration over the sea, from the first voyagers of Austronesia to modern-day discoveries in the depths of the deepest trenches.
Kaj’s heart already ached for the ocean, for shore boat to go somewhere besides Hellmouth and the Moabbey and back again. Just looking at this book was like stabbing a dagger into it as well.
“Thanks, Jeremiah. I’ll check it out.” Xe said instead, smiling loosely at him. “I’ll… see you later.”
“Let me know how you like it!”
The book was dropped on the desk in shore room that afternoon, untouched. That afternoon xe suggested taking a trip down to Oowah Lake in xir boat. The others thought it would be a better idea to wait until the weekend, so more of them could come. Kaj agreed but went down that day anyway, watching Disco Ball splash in the shallows while sea sat alone at the edge with shore feet in the water.
Most of the lake was surrounded by tall, thin trees, blocking them in, making it feel even smaller than it was. The water was placid and calm, warm in the afternoon sun that Kaj couldn’t feel.