Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Yuuji was pretty sure he was the most miserable person on earth.

He didn't say a word as he walked down the street, focused on getting to his destination as quickly as possible. His short, black hair made him indistinguishable from anyone else in the crowd. The chill clung to his black sweater, worn over a plain shirt. His New-York baseball cap was pulled down low, forcing him to squint even more than usual out from under its brim.

The skies were gray above the Tokyo suburb. A slight wind blew the dingy clouds back and forth. It felt like a day that couldn't decide what it wanted to be—it might eventually yield to sunny weather, or break into a full storm. The buildings were covered in signs advertising all manner of wares, mostly in Japanese, but some English letters were scattered around too. People passed by Yuuji on all sides, almost close enough to brush against him. None of them paid much attention to a third-year middle school kid. Old men tottered, businesspeople talked on their phones, two little kids held onto their mother, and schoolgirls passed dressed in different uniforms.

Yuuji pulled his sweater closer around him and scowled. Being in this place brought up old memories.

It wasn't like he didn't want to be here, Yuuji thought as he kicked at a pebble. He had just had a lot to think about these past few months, that's all. And all of it had started right here.

Still, he couldn't leave. Yuuji pulled out his phone and checked an address, pausing to look up at a street sign. He was here on a foodie request.

Why do I even have that stupid blog? Yuuji grumbled to himself for the millionth time. Food-tasting isn't exactly a talent that people would expect a fifteen-year-old to have. Once the novelty wears off, I'm sure the internet will move on to the next best thing. True, someone had once told him to continue his talent. Something about "a second blade" and how "even the parts of yourself that you don't like can be a weapon". And Yuuji had continued on like that for a while. But one piece of advice and a warm fuzzy feeling were things that faded quickly. It wasn't exactly enough to live on.

This was the millionth time he had argued with himself, and the millionth time that he had gone anyway. Still… Yuuji glanced at his phone again. Someone had paid a rather large amount for him to check out this new ramen place. The least he could do was comply. And hey, money was money. Not that Yuuji needed it. But it did make him feel a little more separate from his parents—more independent, at least.

And there was the ramen shop, just across the street. Yuuji stepped into the doorway and shivered for a moment, rubbing his hands together. God, he hated the cold. Then he opened the door and went inside.

One of the host staff bowed and welcomed him. Yuuji nodded, used to it. He sat down at a window booth.

The moment his phone hit the wood paneling it blinked on. The screen opened to what looked like a pale screenshot. It was a list of names, with the words Kunugigaoka Student Roster at the head.

Yuuji lunged and hastily pressed the lock button. Curse him for leaving the photo app open! He felt heat rise in his ears and cheeks, like he was embarrassed. He hadn't needed to use that list in… in…

He frowned. How long ago had that been? A few weeks? A few months? Yuuji shook his head. It might as well have been years.

That was all his brain needed to release its convoluted thoughts again. His mind began to wander, wrapped up in ocean spray and dull memories of a crowded, beat-heavy dance floor. Yes, he admitted, that was what he had been avoiding thinking about all this time. He thought of Nagisa-chan, the girl—No, Yuuji reminded himself, The boy—he had met that day on the island.

She- he had shown up in a punk outfit, but was obviously new. She- he hadn't looked comfortable in that sort of environment, which Yuuji remembered had been rather endearing. God knew angels were rare in the hellholes he visited. They had talked for a while about certain things. He still remembered her- his small laugh, shifting in that chair, fiddling with wristbands, smiling up at him from across the table. She- he had even frowned at Yuuji when he brought up the idea of beers and a blunt. Then, as suddenly as she- no, he had appeared, Nagisa left.

Then they met again at Nagisa's school. Yuuji played with the edge of a napkin as he thought. In retrospect, maybe he had been a bit overeager when finding Nagisa from the hotel's guest list. Scouring the register, managing to find her- his school, then showing up during the school festival before demanding that Nagisa talk to him…he must have looked like a total stalker.

But even so, Yuuji couldn't bring himself to regret it. He stared off into space. Some part of him still felt a small trill of joy when he thought of the afternoon they had shared, huddled over a few steaming plates of food, him talking and Nagisa putting up with his foolishness. His stomach had been full of butterflies, but something in the air had seemed almost magical. It was an afternoon that he had never wanted to end.

It was there Nagisa had told him he was really a guy.

A cactus prickled at Yuuji's heart. He brought one hand to his head, groaning in embarrassment. God. He should have known. Or maybe he shouldn't have. It wasn't like it was obvious, right? He had literally no reason to question it, in fact, until Nagisa had brought it up.

Sometimes he still wondered if Nagisa had been lying. But then Yuuji remembered that honest smile Nagisa had given him, that clear face, those blue eyes open and full of trust. He had just told Nagisa that he could tell when people were lying and then…Nagisa had gone and shown him that face. Yuuji sighed. There was no doubt. It must be true.

Still, Nagisa Shiota had to be the kindest person that Yuuji had ever met. Maybe that was why he found it so hard to forget- him.

While he was thinking, Yuuji absentmindedly reached inside his shoulder bag. His fingers closed around a little white box and took it out, placing it on the table. It was a pack of cigarettes.

Yuuji stared down at the box sitting in front of him. He had chosen a seat in the smoking section. The ashtray over to the side even felt like it was giving him eyes. It was illegal at his age, but that didn't matter. He could just pay off the wait staff. He knew this from experience.

Yuuji hadn't started smoking yet; this was the first pack he ever bought. But it couldn't be that different from the other stuff he had tried. Once, he might have justified it with something like 'being the first in my grade to try this is cool'. But now, comparing this pack with the carton of marijuana blunts he used to have, Yuuji could only think that this was something like growing up.

He ripped open the seal with a halfhearted 'tch' and tipped the box upside down, sliding one of the cylinders out into his palm. Why not? No one else was here to watch his life fall apart.

A thought suddenly struck him. Yuuji frowned. Wait. If Nagisa had been a boy all along, then why was he wearing a skirt? And not just on one occasion, but two—especially considering Yuuji had shown up at Kunugigaoka out of nowhere to surprise him.

Yuuji thought for a moment. Then he shrugged. Maybe Nagisa was just a crossdresser. Not that I can blame him. Yuuji's mind wandered. He was cuter than any girl I've ever met…

He had just brought the cigarette to his lips when a voice interrupted. "Sorry for the wait, sir! How may I help you?"

It must be a waitress. Yuuji turned. "Yeah, I'll take a-"

He froze in shock. A short, lithe frame. Soft, blue hair tied up in pigtails. A gently-curved face. Two deep, blue eyes that reminded Yuuji of the ocean, or the tide when they blinked.

The unlit cigarette fell from Yuuji's mouth. "Ah…"

The other person's eyes widened. Their face began to color, flushing a dark pink.

It was her. Him. The girl—no, boy. Don't forget. Boyboyboyboy—he had once chased after.

It was Nagisa.

"Geh… Yuuji!" Nagisa said, his pen rattling against a little notepad in shock. His face twisted, as if trying to express multiple reactions at once. He was dressed in a waiter's uniform, wearing a neat white shirt overlaid by a blue vest, along with black pants.

His name. Yuuji wasn't sure why, but a strange sense of relief shot through his chest. Nagisa remembered his name.

Yuuji couldn't breathe. He was faintly aware that his heart seemed to have stopped. Then his heartbeat started back up again, fluttering as lightly as a bird. All he could think of was that face, that face, it was that same face.

"Sorry," he blurted.

Nagisa looked confused. "What?"

"Sorry, I mean, I'll leave, I-I didn't…" His gaze flicked down to see that the other boy was wearing pants. Yuuji didn't know why he found that fact strange.

A white shape loomed in the corner of his vision. He suddenly became aware of the pack of cigarettes by his side. Shame moved Yuuji's elbow to cover it on automatic. Nagisa's eyes flicked there and then back.

Yuuji gritted his teeth. Damn it. He knew Nagisa had seen the box. Of course he would—the boy was too quick. Yuuji screamed internally and filled his head with self-directed swearing. Here he was, smoking right in front of the boy who had gotten him off of drugs! Nagisa had practically turned his life around, and how did Yuuji repay him? God!

Nagisa shifted on his feet. He wouldn't meet Yuuji's eyes. "It's, uh… It's been a while," he said.

Yuuji nodded wordlessly. Dimly, he realized he should probably pick his jaw up off the floor.

"How've you been?"

Yuuji mumbled something that sounded like 'alright'.

Nagisa fidgeted again. He gave a small, shy smile. "I guess I should be glad you're not seeing me in a skirt this time."

"Uh…yeah." Yuuji wasn't sure if it was okay to laugh at that or not. He went the safe route, giving a quick, quiet chuckle. He tried to focus over the pounding of his heart. Words. Words. It wasn't easy. "It's…It's good to see you."

The other boy nodded.

Yuuji drummed his fingers on the table. He cleared his throat. "So you, ah…you have a part-time job here?"

Nagisa's eyes flicked to the side. "You could say that." He held his notepad up in front of him, close to his face. From where Yuuji was sitting, it looked almost like a shield.

"Oh. I see."

After a bit of silence, Nagisa spoke again. "Hey," he said, getting Yuuji's attention. "Thanks for that blog post. You know, the one about our stall at the school festival…"

"What? Oh, that one." Yuuji fought to keep his face straight. The one from the blog he was slowing down and thinking of abandoning. If this had been a manga, he would have been looking back over his shoulder at the camera with a pained expression. "Right. Don't worry about it."

"No, honestly. I was so glad after reading it." Nagisa gave a breathy, embarrassed laugh. His hair was brushed away from his face just as Yuuji had remembered it. His words came out rushed, like he had wanted to say this for a long time. "Honestly, I had been really worried that I might have hurt you back there."

"What? No." Yuuji jerked upright in his seat. "You could never… I mean, you didn't hurt me, Nagisa. Not at all." His tongue had seemed to stutter for a moment.

Something flashed through Yuuji's memory. He saw a grassy schoolyard, Nagisa sitting on the ground, and Yuuji himself grabbing his bag and leaving through a bush, calling back over his shoulder something about "being an idiot". Yuuji winced. If anything, he was worried that he had been the one to hurt Nagisa.

The blue-haired boy smiled. "Well, it really helped us out. Did you know? After you left, our amount of customers increased tenfold. People were coming to our stall from all over Japan. It was crazy."

"Really?" Electricity shot up Yuuji's spine at the thought that he might have actually been able to help Nagisa. "That's great! Did you win? It was part of a school competition, right? You guys all looked pretty serious."

Nagisa laughed. "No, but it was close! We ran out of ingredients on the second day. All of the dishes you recommended sold out."

"Oh," Yuuji said, feeling suddenly sheepish. "Sorry for driving you out of business, then."

"No, no, it's fine." Nagisa waved one hand in a dismissive gesture. "We still made a killing. And we probably wouldn't have won anyway. Some kid in the leading class hosted and led his own rock concert."

"No kidding? What a schmuck!" Yuuji laughed.

The air between them gradually became more relaxed. With each new joke and exchange of information, the mood lightened.

Yuuji wondered if the host staff would get angry at Nagisa for spending so long with one customer. He didn't spare a glance to check, not wanting to look away for a single moment. He hoped that they wouldn't. Just sitting here, watching Nagisa's face light up was great. His shoulders felt weightless. He hadn't been this effortlessly happy in a long time.

Soon, he even started to feel a bit brave.

"Well, if I knew you had a job here, I would have reviewed this place sooner," Yuuji teased. "I could have come to see you every day."

Immediately, Nagisa's smile faded. He looked away. And this time, he did not look back. "Ah…no, you couldn't," he muttered. "I'm sorry."

Yuuji's face fell. "Oh." It felt like a rock had been tossed into his chest. He was already cursing his party-boy bravado inside his head. "Why not?"

"It's complicated," Nagisa said. He held up his notepad. "Basically, I'm only here for one day."

"What? But why?" Yuuji hated how he sounded like a toddler, but he couldn't stop himself from whining.

"It's a secret." And just like that, Nagisa had retreated back behind his professional demeanor. Yuuji had a sudden feeling of a priceless treasure withdrawing back inside of its case. His fingers ached. He wanted to reach in and get it back out.

"Sorry, Yuuji. But, hey, forget about that. Could I start you off with anyth-"

boom

A muffled blast came from the back of the restaurant.

The silverware on top of Yuuji's table clattered briefly. Glasses clinked together, drinks swishing around inside of them. Other patrons muttered. Some even craned their necks to look towards the noise. The hosts and wait staff began to hurry around, spreading their arms and talking to people in soothing voices, trying to keep them calm. Meanwhile, a few of them broke off and rushed towards the back.

Yuuji sat up in his seat. He leaned over, looking towards the kitchen. "What was that? It sounded like an explosion!"

When he turned back to Nagisa, his entire world paused.

Nagisa was looking off towards the back of the room with a clear gaze. He stood tall, bent at the shoulders into a ready stance. The air around him didn't feel like it belonged to a waiter anymore. He gripped his notepad hard enough to bend the pages, tilting it forward as if he wished it were…something else.

Yuuji suppressed an instinctual shudder. Something was different in Nagisa's eyes. They were so precise.

And yet, when he looked back, Yuuji saw that they were the exact same shade of embracing, gentle blue. "I'm sorry, Yuuji. Something's come up," Nagisa apologized again. "See you next time."

He flashed Yuuji a smile and time seemed to slow down. His smile was the brightest thing that Yuuji had ever seen, accentuated by a light blush. Nagisa's soft lips formed a perfect half-moon shape, curtailed at the ends with embarrassment. His eyes almost closed for a moment. Every inch of Nagisa's face seemed to project warmth, like a miniature sun. For one moment, Yuuji thought he could see every ray of light passing by in the background.

Then Nagisa charged off, running out of a side door at the last moment rather than towards the back of the restaurant.

Yuuji breathed, but only shallowly. That smile. It had been the exact same smile from back then. How dare he? What was Yuuji supposed to do with that?

"I…that…what?" Yuuji paused, half-standing in his seat. His mind whirled with confusion and…was that a strange sort of happiness? But his body was on full adrenaline-alert. All he knew at the moment was that Nagisa had run off. He might need Yuuji's help!

Yuuji looked around. Nobody else was going. In fact, with each moment that passed, things were slowly but surely returning to normal. If he was going to leave, the time had to be now before people became calm again.

But something kept him rooted to his seat. Yuuji's fist shook on the table. He tried again to get himself to budge, ordering his legs to move. They twitched. Damn it! His mind boiled with frustration. What was it that was keeping him here? Fear? His own inadequacy?

He thought again of Nagisa's smile.

The next thing he knew, he was standing beside the table. "Ugh…" Yuuji groaned. He grabbed his stuff, swinging his messenger bag over one shoulder. He groped around. Cell phone, baseball cap, go!

He had just started to run when he noticed the pack of cigarettes still laying on the wooden table surface. Yuuji's feet halted. His hands made weak grabbing motions, reaching back towards it.

"Tch." He swiped one hand through the air, as if saying it wasn't worth it. Then Yuuji sprinted off, as fast as he could make himself go.

A vision flashed through Yuuji's memory. He saw himself on a similar occasion, lying propped up against the wall of a dance club, laid slack-jawed by a knockout smile. He stared blankly into space. A blush danced lightly on his cheeks. In one smooth motion, he reached into a pocket and threw away a pack of marijuana blunts. He wouldn't be needing those anymore.

The box of cigarettes wasn't tossed away by Yuuji this time. But it faded behind him just the same.

He hit the emergency door and burst through it, propelled by one glorious, irrational thought. It pounded through his swinging arms and through his trembling heart as if it belonged there.

Nagisa. He had to see Nagisa again.

Chapter Text

Yuuji ran forward, his arms outstretched toward a distant figure. "Wait!"

He called out for them to stop. Four additional heads turned, but Yuuji was only focused on the one. Her skirt was a plaid pattern, red as a bulls-eye. He couldn't let this slip away. His pride burned hot inside his chest.

Yuuji started talking. He offered to show the girls his 'special dance'—beginning immediately to shake his head from side-to-side while shimmying his shoulders.

The girls stared back. Each of their expressions held one clear message: Not Interested.

Yuuji grinned. His knees kicked up. He moved in time to the beat, shifting and flowing into each step, moving with the ease of one who had been watching people dance in clubs since he was six. The girls weren't responding, but that was alright. If he kept this up, he would surely win their-

There was a 'ping' as Yuuji's elbow hit against something hard.

He turned to see a foreigner standing there, some man who was tall and blonde, wearing jewelry along with mirrored sunglasses. A pint of beer was soaking into his leopard-skin coat.

The fear didn't fully hit until the man's fists came to Yuuji's shirt. They shook Yuuji back and forth until his head bobbed. The man growled into Yuuji's face, saying he'd better pay up. Yuuji stuttered, trying to twist his face away. God, that man's teeth looked awfully sharp.

One strong hand grabbed Yuuji's cheeks, digging into his skin. The man sneered out a price—one million, three million? Yuuji didn't care; it wasn't as important as escaping with his life. Suddenly nothing seemed more important than that. A lot of super-dangerous types frequented this hotel, and Yuuji had a good idea of what this guy could do to him. He heard himself relent, muttering something about his father paying for it, so sorry, just don't hit-

Movement on the left.

The girl's kick hit the man in the chin. She bent at the waist, swinging her entire body like a pendulum almost too fast for Yuuji to see. Her foot was sent smashing into the side of the man's head, jerking his neck to the side. His eyes rolled back in his head as he fainted. Two other girls were suddenly there, waiting to catch him with a soft grunt.

Yuuji's jaw dropped open. He stared at the girls as if they had just appeared from flying saucers.

One of their group members called over a hotel employee. She directed them to the fainted man, saying that he had passed out. The employee carried the man away, mumbling something about overdosing and company liability.

Immediately, the girls turned their attention onward. One of them beckoned to the others. Another bent down in front of Yuuji and whispered for him to get back to the dance floor, and to keep quiet about what he saw. He couldn't form words to answer.

It had all gone off like a well-oiled machine. Planned. Quick. Too quick for normal middle-schoolers. With one smooth turn, the five had faced away from him and already moved on to the next stage.

Yuuji hadn't noticed his legs giving out, but the next thing he knew, he was down on the floor with his back pressed against one of the club walls. He watched the girls leave, their skirts swishing in time. His gaze stayed frozen in fear. They…they could knock a guy out with one hit?

Who were these people?

"Yeah, it's so easy for girls to be cool," came a voice, coupled with a breathy laugh. "But guys need to try so hard to act like it."

Yuuji blinked, noticing a figure standing in front of him. It was the girl that he had talked with earlier: Nagisa-chan.

She looked down at him and smiled. "It sucks, right? Being a guy."

That was the first time he had seen it—a bright smile that seemed to light up the room, filling his vision and making everything else fade into the background. Lips that curved into an honest grin. Eyes squeezed shut with happiness. A hint of embarrassment that only made it all the more sweet. A levity that made Yuuji, despite the entire situation, feel like he wanted to join in the laughter too. It was a face that exuded a feeling of warmth, like the onset of summer.

Yuuji's breath hitched. He felt a warm blush burst over his cheeks and settle there. His heart fluttered as if it wanted to fly right out of his ribs.

Nagisa said something more about trying to act cool, and something about how choosing something other than drugs or dancing would be nice.

Then she turned and ran, taking his heart with her.

Yuuji sat up. He stared after where she had gone. 'Nagisa-chan…' he whispered.

He was left sitting there against the wall, staring off into space. His expression was blank. It was as if he did not want to even look away from where she had once been, trying to hold on to every last bit of her.

After a few minutes, without looking down at all, one hand drifted toward his pocket.

He would throw away the blunts. No high could possibly compare.

Yuuji's feet pounded against the ground as the summer memory faded.

He had run through the same side door after Nagisa, and now found himself in what looked like a back alleyway. His eyes flicked around, trying to orient himself.

The walls were dirty brown around him. The streets here were mostly clean, although grime collected at the corners. Two large dumpsters passed by on Yuuji's right as he ran. The short fenced-in pathway soon led out to a larger corridor, stretching onward to either side. Lanterns hung unlit on the walls. There was not a hint of blue in sight.

"Tch…" Yuuji scowled. He looked from side to side. With barely a second's thought, he dashed right. This way was closest to where the blast had come from.

After a few moments more, a low, brown building appeared up ahead.

The structure was made entirely of wood, with what looked like sliding paper doors lining its sides. It appeared to be some sort of storage shed. Some tiles had clattered down from its rooftop. A broom stood propped up against the front wall. Judging by the stained handle, it had not been used in a long time. The shed's body was wide, and it leaned towards the back of the restaurant like a child reaching for its mother.

From where Yuuji was, he could see that the main door was slightly open.

Yuuji slowed down as he approached, each breath tearing at his throat. God, he hated running.

Once he came to the building's front, he paused. Yuuji glanced around the side—should he keep going? No, he thought. It looked like there was a dead end up ahead. That settled it. If Nagisa really had gone this way, this was the only other place he could be.

The shed's wooden frame loomed above him. Yuuji gulped, ignoring the chill that ran up his spine.

Yuuji reached out to take hold of the paper door and carefully pulled it to the side. Slowly, he slipped through the opening.

It was quiet inside the shed.

The air here was thinner than Yuuji had expected. Still, it tasted of oldness and molded food. He clutched the strap of his bag across his chest, gripping it with both hands while he looked around. There were stacks and shelves everywhere, filled to the brim with tools, broken-down equipment, and bags upon bags piled on top of each other. A layer of dust and pale dirt coated every surface. But, he noticed, not the floor.

Yuuji took a few steps inward. Even the dust motes remained still, moving only when scuffed to the side by his shoes. All of the junk crowding this place made it somewhat difficult to navigate. The tall shelves obscured his vision, forcing Yuuji to lean to the sides to look around them.

He blinked at one shelf as he passed. There was some dangerous-looking stuff here, too. Tubes grouped together in a pile, and what looked like wires poking out of the top of one bag hidden in the shadows… When Yuuji looked toward the far side of the room, he saw a pair of thick gloves poking out from behind a box. From what he could see, they looked free of dust. He frowned. Did the restaurant do its own electrical repairs?

It was all too quiet.

The thought dawned on Yuuji that he had a reason for being here. He stopped his feet after passing the next shelf. "Hello?" he called.

No answer. The shed was still.

He tried again. "Hello? Is anybody here?" He paused. "Nagisa?"

Yuuji took a breath. "Nagiiiisa-"

Movement.

Or not movement, but a sort of intangible shift—a tremor through the very air around him. Suddenly Yuuji knew he wasn't safe. Not 'felt'. 'Knew'. A deep ancestral fear pooled in his bones. The hair on his arms raised as if it also had sensed what his mind could not: the hint of bloodlust.

The shadowy shape of a man rose behind him, where Yuuji could barely see. Somehow, without looking, he knew what was there. The figure was tall, with a black coat and gloves that made his image a blur, and two sharp eyes glaring out from beneath a wide-brimmed hat. In the corner of Yuuji's eye, the man's arms were pulled back, a pipe raised to strike. But Yuuji's mind wasn't working fast enough. Only 3 milliseconds had passed, and his gut was screaming at him that he would be killed, there was death somewhere behind him, he was going to die—

WHAM!

Someone tackled the man from the side. The two figures went sprawling past Yuuji, crashing to the floor.

"Ah!" Yuuji leapt away, his every nerve feeling like it sparked with electricity. The man! He was real! He had fallen out of Yuuji's daydream nightmares and straight into reality, thumping there with his black gloves against the floor.

Yuuji gaped. That split-second vision—it hadn't just been his imagination. The sweat on his skin ran cold. Somehow, he had been saved.

The next thing Yuuji noticed was a head of blue hair.

It was Nagisa. The boy struggled for a few seconds more with the man before breaking away and tucking himself into a roll. He sprang up to his feet. Nagisa spared only a glace at Yuuji, shocked brown eyes meeting focused blue. "Yuuji?!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

Yuuji backed up against a shelf, the wood pressing painfully into his shoulders. "I…I…"

He couldn't say that he had wanted to see him. He couldn't tell Nagisa about how he had gotten the feeling that this time, if he left, their paths might never cross again. And how that thought had been unbearable. Yuuji couldn't do anything but stare now at the scene unfolding in front of him.

The shadowed man had also come back up in a flash. Him and Nagisa were now a few paces away, standing in a gap between two major lines of shelves.

Yuuji had imagined a fire starting at the back of the restaurant. He had pictured a boiler blown out. What he had never expected to see was Nagisa standing with a knife in his hand.

Nagisa and the man faced off. The two figures stood like mirror images, both of them poised. Nagisa was on the right, while the man had his back to Yuuji. A look of sharp concentration was on Nagisa's face. And… oh God. That green, pointed thing in Nagisa's hand…was that a real knife?

Yuuji did the only thing that seemed natural. He screamed.

"H-Hieeeeeeee!"

Yuuji stumbled backwards on instinct, tripping over his own two feet. He fell down hard on his butt. One of his feet kicked against a shelf, causing the whole structure to tremble.

The shelf wobbled, its overloaded top swaying back and forth. The top row of pots and pans swung over to hit a neighboring rack. That shelf moved in turn, smacking into another. Then another. Then another.

From the next one that was hit, a sack full of wires dropped down. It landed in front of the two fighters with an enormous CRACK.

The man flinched. Nagisa recovered just a split-second faster.

Nagisa tackled the man. He drove an elbow into the figure's gut, causing the person to bite out a groan.

With one powerful thrust of a hand, the man wrenched himself free of Nagisa. But he didn't lunge forward. Instead, he turned and scrambled to his feet, holding one hand to his stomach as he raced for the door.

Nagisa let him go. The boy stayed crouched, watching like a panther as the man left. His eyes followed the man as he charged through the opening. Silently, Nagisa's mouth traced a few words as he counted down on his fingers: 'Three…two…one…'

There was an eruption of noise from outside. A muffled rattle came from the roof, as if people had jumped down onto the man from atop the shed. There was a series of thumps, followed by a bought of muffled screaming. Then, silence.

Nagisa heaved a sigh of relief. He stood up. "Well. That was exciting."

Yuuji sat on the ground, quaking, staring. His hands dug into the floorboards. His bag felt heavy against his side. He stared up at Nagisa, the boy in a waiter's uniform, who now seemed so terrifying.

Nagisa looked down at him. His gaze was calm and cold. There wasn't a hint of warmth in his face. "You weren't supposed to see that," he said.

Yuuji's head swam. Thoughts and images passed by—a black coat, a pipe, a knife, sacks of wires, and skilled, fast strikes. Suddenly nothing made any sense. Visions of Nagisa swirled in his head, of the boy, the boy that had seemed so small and quiet, standing poised there with a weapon, standing with a strength Yuuji never knew he had, holding off a man at least twice his own size….

Yuuji swallowed. He said the only thing that came to mind. "Nagisa, are…are you being targeted? Do you need help?" his voice croaked.

He reached out towards the other boy, fingers trembling. "Look, if…if you got mixed up in something, something bad, it's okay. I can… I'll do something. With my father's influence and enough cash, maybe…maybe…"

Nagisa blinked back. The boy's expression held slight confusion, fading fast into amusement.

Then he laughed. Nagisa actually laughed, hiding his mouth behind one hand to let out small, stifled sounds. "That's very nice of you, Yuuji," he said. "But that won't be necessary."

Yuuji didn't understand. The seconds seemed to tick by as if made of molasses—as if he were trapped in a dream world, where everything was inside-out. His breaths sounded loud inside the fog of his mind. He fought to hold back a rising panic. This wasn't funny at all!

"Uh…let's see, how to explain this?" Nagisa said, fidgeting with the weapon in his hand.

Nagisa glanced off to the side. "I guess we couldn't keep it a secret forever," he muttered to himself. "Someone was bound to find out eventually…" Then a sigh. "That's what you get for always showing up around me."

A secret? What secret? Yuuji's mind spun, trying to form coherent thoughts.

There were a few more thumps from outside. The earth crunched as if trodden by feet. Through the paper-screen doors, the sounds of muttered conversation could be heard.

"Nagisa? What's going on?" Yuuji squeaked.

Nagisa smiled at him. "I'm sorry, Yuuji. Let's just say that me being a guy isn't the most surprising thing about me."

A buzzing sound pierced the air, making them both jump.

As Yuuji brought one hand to his chest, checking that he hadn't actually jumped out of his skin, Nagisa brought one hand to his waist. He took a phone out from one pocket and looked at it for moment. Then he held it up, pressing a button.

"Whoo-hoo! We did it, guys!"

"Takebayashi, you deactivated all of the remaining bombs, right?"

"Obviously. They were no match for me and Akane-chan."

"Dude, naming your computer is really kind of creepy."

"Don't get so cocky, Nakamura. Your group didn't do crap!"

"Well I can't help it that I make such a cute waitress! The customers all loved me. Besides, it's Megu's fault for stationing us so far from the action."

"Quiet, all of you. Target retrieved. Terasaka and I are removing him to the car now."

"Roger that, Itona. Containment team, initiate clean-up procedures. We can all chat later."

A chorus of "Yes, Isogai."

"Roger," Nagisa said into the mouthpiece. Then he hung up and placed the phone back in its holster.

For a moment, Nagisa stayed facing away. His face was hesitant, as if judging how much to say. His eyes flicked to Yuuji and then back.

Then, after a few seconds, Nagisa nodded. He turned to Yuuji. "Alright. You said that you want to know what's going on?"

Dully, Yuuji nodded back. It felt like shock had carved itself permanently into the lines on his face.

Nagisa let out a long sigh. "Then, here goes everything."

He sat down in front of Yuuji. "Basically, all of that stuff you saw there? Forget it. You can never tell anyone what you saw, or the things that you're about to hear. Also…" He fixed Yuuji with a direct stare. "If I tell you everything now, then you can never go back. You might wish to return to the way things were before. You might wish to forget. But that can never happen. Are you okay with that?"

The thoughts in Yuuji's mind were still slightly blurred as they came. But he understood one thing well enough—there was Nagisa, sitting in front of him now. One path led to understanding more about him. The other did not.

Yuuji forced himself to nod.

Nagisa smiled. "Thought so," he muttered.

Nagisa took a deep breath. "My friends and I are part of a unique…program. We're training for something super-secret. The government has forbidden us to tell anyone about it, even our family and friends." He frowned, as if realizing how short the explanation was. "So I'm sorry, but that's all I can say about it now."

He folded his hands in his lap. "I'll try to answer all of your questions."

Questions? Yuuji's mind spun with the idea of picking just one.

He cleared his throat. "Are…are you really Nagisa?"

The other boy blinked back. "Um. Yes. I can remember everything about the time we met on the island, if you need proof."

"N-no, that's fine," Yuuji said, waving one hand to dismiss the question. He didn't even know why he had asked. "That's enough."

He shook his head, trying to steady his thoughts. "You're…a soldier?"

"Technically, assassin."

Yuuji blinked. The gears in his mind jerked to a halt. That was not computing. The input would not enter his brain. It was too illogical. This was Nagisa, this was gentle, kind Nagisa-

This was Nagisa who had just held someone off in a knife fight.

He took a shuddering breath. "Okay. Okay. An assassin. You mean like…killing people?" Yuuji had the sudden thought of Nagisa putting something in his napkins or food, even though he had ended up never ordering anything. With a start, he realized that he probably wouldn't have even noticed.

"Yes- No!" Nagisa said in a hurry. "We have a target. A mission. But we aren't being taught to kill human beings, I promise." His face took on a softer look, as if thinking back on some sort of memory. "No. We aren't being taught that at all."

"Really?"

Nagisa nodded.

This couldn't be real. Yuuji had a momentary feeling of floating. Maybe that was it. Maybe this was all a dream. He brought one hand up and pinched his cheek.

Yow! He winced, blinking tears out of his eyes. Nope. Nagisa was still there. And Yuuji wasn't sure if he was relieved or frightened by the sight.

"So, who was that guy just now?" he asked.

"A rival assassin." Nagisa said that word so easily—like it didn't have years of history attached to it, or blood soaked into its every letter. "He was hired by somebody to take out our mark, but we couldn't let that happen. He was starting to get too close, and it was kind of distracting from our lessons. Plus, our tulip garden got uprooted. Again. We had to send a message." Nagisa shrugged. "Besides, Karasuma-sensei made it extra credit."

"Extra credit?"

Nagisa winced. At least it seemed he had the decency to realize how little sense he was making.

"Fine, forget it," Yuuji said. "And, uh, those people?" He pointed weakly to the ceiling and then Nagisa's phone.

"My classmates."

Yuuji blinked. "Your classmates. Right."

Images of Kunugigaoka Middle School floated through Yuuji's head. He couldn't remember much about Nagisa's classmates from his time at the school festival, but the school hadn't seemed like a place for crazies.

Or maybe… Suddenly a memory came to Yuuji with a flash. There had been two weird men, hadn't there? They had popped out of the bushes, both of them with foreign accents, and said strange things to some other guy. Yuuji had nearly forgotten, given how he had spent most of his festival time with Nagisa. He frowned. Come to think of it, it might have been Nagisa who explained them away at the time, too…

Yuuji felt his face pull even further into shock. Crap. Maybe this story really was plausible.

"They're in the program with me. All of this is, of course, top-secret," Nagisa explained. He knelt besides Yuuji and put away the knife. Upon closer inspection, Yuuji could see that it wasn't made of metal—just some sort of reinforced rubber.

"Look, I can't tell you what we do," Nagisa said. "But if it bothers you, I can promise one thing: I am safe."

"Safe?" Yuuji burst out. "But with what happened just now…"

Nagisa shrugged. "I had the training for it, didn't I?"

Yuuji fell quiet. After a moment's pause, he spoke again. "You're not in danger?" For some reason, his mind seemed to seize on this. He might not fully understand what all of this meant, but as long as Nagisa was safe, that was all his mind needed in order to feel satisfied.

Nagisa smiled back. "Nope." His eyes were open, as if trying to convince Yuuji of his honesty. There was a faint flash somewhere deep within, as if that 'nope' had been followed with the thought of 'most of the time'.

Still, it was a smile just as gentle as all of his others.

Yuuji groaned. "…You really aren't lying."

"Nope." Nagisa replied again.

A long silence fell.

Then, Yuuji let out a bitter laugh. "So, the guy who I thought was a girl is not only actually a guy, but also some kind of…secret-soldier-in-training. Great. Just great."

He didn't know how to react. His emotions were all over the place. Yuuji felt everything bubbling up inside of him like an acid volcano, and for a moment felt tempted to just ride away on the tide. Maybe this was the brink of hysteria.

Nagisa looked down at the ground, his expression regretful, as if he had just been caught stealing from the cookie jar. An unknown emotion flashed through Yuuji's chest. He looked so…goddamn normal. "Pretty much," Nagisa said.

There was another pause. Then Nagisa looked up. His gaze slid momentarily towards the door, still left open. "Are you going to run away again?"

Nagisa's pose was relaxed. If Yuuji did, it didn't seem like he would stop him.

Yuuji sat motionless for a moment. He stared off in a daze, looking blankly back towards the doorframe. It held the light inside itself, shining through the opening like a beacon. Out there was light and warmth. In here was...

Yuuji sat up. "No," he said, and the resolve in his voice surprised even him. "I'm not going to run away from anything about you anymore."

"I-I mean…" he said, embarrassed. "That didn't turn out so well for me last time. For us." He took a breath. "And I'm not going to leave you alone like that ever again."

Nagisa looked surprised. Then—was Yuuji imagining it?—a bit touched. Nagisa looked down, his bangs hiding a small smile.

The boy stood, turning away to take out his phone. He spoke into it. From where Yuuji sat on the floor, he couldn't quite see, but it looked as if Nagisa was just speaking to the home screen.

"Ritsu, put my name down on the rollcall," Nagisa said. "Let everyone know I'm alright. I'll just be going home a little early today."

"Roger that, Nagisa," chirped a voice. "Approximately 27 congratulatory messages await your return."

Nagisa hung up. He turned around and held out a hand. "Well, if you're still willing to trust me after all that, then come here," he said, a familiar lighthearted-ness returning to his voice. "Let's get you home."

Yuuji blinked. Or hesitated. He wasn't sure which. The image of the girl he had met in the club mixed with the figure of the boy now standing in front of him. The two thoughts merged, colliding together and dissolving into a different, unfamiliar shape-

He reached up and took Nagisa's hand.

Chapter Text

Nagisa had insisted on walking Yuuji home. "You've had a bit of a shock," he said, dutifully keeping alongside Yuuji as they set off.

Yuuji gulped. That was a bit of an understatement.

Still, it wasn't like anybody would be able to tell now. For all the world, the two of them looked like a pair of normal teenagers on their way to the train station. Yuuji lived kind of distant from the Kunugigaoka suburb, so he had taken public transportation in order to get here. It was Nagisa who had offered to show him the most direct way back.

Around them the neighborhood slowly passed by. The sidewalk slid beneath in endless gray slabs, while a wooden fence bordered their left, passing just beyond Nagisa. Above the top of the fence, sloping housetop roofs could be seen. Now that the two of them had wandered away from the main streets, there were much less people about. The few that did pass hurried by, clutching their jackets around them against the cold.

Nagisa himself looked so natural in this light, Yuuji thought as he glanced to his left. The boy's hair blended in with the muted colors of the sky. He had also changed into regular clothes at some time when Yuuji hadn't noticed. He wore a thick coat now, suitable for the chilled air. A strap bracelet hung from his left wrist like a fashion mark. And instead of black, the boy's pants were now a soothing shade of blue. For one moment a glimpse of dark color flashed beneath the hem, making Yuuji wonder if they were reversible.

Nagisa moved down the street with the carefree swing of a middle-schooler, looking out at the world with a light expression. Not a trace remained of the "waiter" that had been before.

Before Yuuji could think on it for too long, he found himself drawn into a conversation with the other boy. Nagisa stretched, sighed, and before Yuuji knew it they were minutes deep into some subject or other. The two of them talked about random things, chatting lightly about topics worn thin by millions of conversations over the course of human history. The weather. Recent news. Weekend plans. Excitement over new video games. A few complaints about people they knew. Movies.

"Did you hear…"

"Yeah, so I…"

"Really?"

"No way!"

"What about…"

"Then…"

As they walked, Yuuji felt himself slowly relax. Words came from his mouth in a steady tempo, each one humming through his chest. The world passed by around them, turning into a half-remembered gray blur. All the while the two of them kept talking about usual things, led on by the light sound of Nagisa's laughter.

Meanwhile, Nagisa touched Yuuji's arm at all the right moments. He kept the conversation flowing, his steps always setting a quick pace down the street. He responded and asked good questions. He even gave Yuuji a light shove when the other made an off-color joke.

Yuuji shoved back, joining in, as the rhythm of normal life slowly overtook him. A hand wave here. A laugh there. Both changing mindlessly from one topic to the other, none of it of any consequence. Before long, things felt just like they always had. Effortless, unimportant—simply floating on the surface of existence.

A pleasant feeling glowed inside Yuuji's chest. Things were going well. Everything felt so familiar all of a sudden, so comfortable. In fact it was so easy to slip into, this rhythm, that Yuuji could almost forget all about…

Deep in his subconscious, the thought stirred Yuuji to speak.

"Um," he said, turning his head toward Nagisa to get the boy's attention. "Thanks. For, you know, back there. I just realized that I never thanked you properly."

"Hm? Oh, you're welcome!" Nagisa said, in a way that was far too cheerful for what they were talking about.

Many meters down the road behind them, a boy-and-girl couple walked, growing ever more distant until finally they reached a corner and turned, vanishing from view. Nagisa waited for a few moments more before he lowered his voice and spoke. "So, you really won't choose to forget."

Yuuji tried to not show surprise at the sudden change in Nagisa's demeanor. He shook his head. He clung tightly to the strap of his messenger bag across his chest. "I told you, didn't I? I-I'm not going to run away."

Beside him, Nagisa gave a silent nod. Yuuji couldn't tell for certain, but he thought that he sensed a hint of respect within the gesture.

Then Nagisa looked over at him and flashed a grin. "Hey, remember when you told me about your dad? Does he still have that grudge against asses?"

"Oh god, don't remember that." Yuuji made a face, struggling to hold back a laugh at the same time.

"It's pretty hard to forget," Nagisa teased. "The Assman TV Personality. Able to hold onto somebody's butt for 24 hours straight, was it? They should create a new category for that in the next Olympics. I'm sure he'd be the star of Japan."

Yuuji felt himself settle back into easy laughter. A rhythm started up between them again, but this time it was easy, natural. Not calculated.

He and Nagisa teased each other, bantering and joking around until the laughter and topics at last petered out and they simply walked together in comfortable silence. Yuuji listened to the sound of their feet tapping together against the sidewalk. There seemed to be a strange lightness around his shoulders. And some warm, happy sensation hovering on his face. Was that a smile? It might have been. Yuuji tilted his head back, electing to simply enjoy the feeling.

"Yuuji," Nagisa spoke.

"Hm?"

"Do you still like me?"

Yuuji's feet scuffed against the ground.

Oh. Oh. That. Of course. All of Yuuji's insides seemed to seize up at once. It felt like someone had just thrown a heavy weight into the center of his chest. The response that came out of his mouth was a very elegant "Uhh…"

"You were pretty open about it back then. I thought it was obvious," Nagisa said. He looked up at Yuuji with clear blue eyes. There was no judgment hidden within them. Only an open, observant gaze.

"Uh, well," Yuuji stuttered. He hid his face with one hand to cover a growing blush. That question just had to bring up all those thoughts and feelings again, goddammit!

He tried to say 'no'. The word waited on Yuuji's lips, expectant and automatic, as if it was ready to leap off. Or like it had been put there. Yuuji tried to concentrate on thinking over the fluttering of his stomach. That was what he should say, right? According to norms, according to a lot of people, according to the fact that he didn't want to hurt Nagisa…

Yuuji buried his face in his hand. He could tell that he was blushing hard, probably red as a literal tomato. Dammit, why did he have to be a person who blushed easily?

This could all be solved so quickly. Just one short denial and it would all be over. But the word was stuck. It wouldn't come out.

"W-well," Yuuji said.

He took a deep breath and began. "I…guess? I mean, you are the same person that I, er, that I saw that night, right? So everything that I was thinking about them back then was also about you, only, not really because I, I didn't know and, well, it was confusing, so maybe it was just-"

Yuuji bit down on his tongue. Judging by the look Nagisa was giving him, his answer wasn't making any sense to the boy either. God, everything was coming out all wrong.

He took his hand away from his face and sighed, deciding to just say whatever came to mind. "Look, Nagisa, you're…amazing," he said. "You're smart, and you're sweet, and you're kind. The kindest person that I've ever met, in fact. I seriously can't believe how nice you are sometimes. You taught me a lot, and it really…it really helped me out."

Yuuji swallowed. "And…that hasn't changed."

There was a sudden fluttering in Yuuji's heart, making his face burn and his stomach jump. He clamped down on it, stifling the spark. Dammit! He hadn't felt that annoying feeling since back in the hotel. It made his thoughts go all funny, like his mind was filled with a thick fog that made it hard to think.

He snuck small glances at Nagisa out of the corner of his eye, too fast to really see the boy. "So I don't care how you were dressed, a lot of things are still the same. And wh-when I look at you, I guess…those feelings are still there somewhere?" His voice trailed off at the end, shrinking down into a tiny squeak.

The bizarre reality of the situation suddenly sank in. A moment of panic clenched in Yuuji's chest, waves of self-consciousness washing over him until he felt like he wanted to die. Oh god, what was he thinking? He had never...this wasn't...god dammit!

Yuuji checked his feelings, frantically reviewing his personal history. The faces of endless half-remembered people and club scenes passed him by. Girls, girls, girls everywhere. Never a guy. For one moment, Yuuji felt like breathing a sigh of relief. Yeah. See? He had tons of guy friends, but hadn't ever looked at one in that way. There was nothing wrong with liking guys, of course, Yuuji believed that, he had just never been into one personally.

Although—a sudden moment of realization struck him—maybe…maybe he just hadn't ever really looked.

Yuuji shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. Still, falling in love with a guy when you thought he was a chick had to be straight. ...Right?

"I mean," he blathered. "A smile is gender-neutral, isn't it? So if I liked you for it back then, then I should still like you now."

There was no response from Nagisa.

A long, awkward silence fell. On the left, the fence passed by in a continuous row of brown. Through the sky, distant birds flew like dots high above. The slightest of breezes kicked up for a moment and then faded.

Yuuji fidgeted with his sweater. The loaded quiet was almost unbearable. He counted to ten before taking a deep breath. "Hey, Nagisa…"

The boy shot him a glance.

Yuuji's shoulders slumped. "Why do you even talk to me? I'm so…normal. So dumb. So weak. I acted like a total sleazebag to you back on that island."

And now I find out that I don't know anything about you, he thought, images of Nagisa holding a knife echoing on inside his head.

"I didn't realize it before, but," Yuuji said, hating himself more with each passing word. "I might have just been getting in your way. Nothing but a side character..."

There was a long moment of quiet. So much so that Yuuji almost thought that the other boy had forgotten his question when Nagisa suddenly spoke again.

"I like you."

Those three words pierced the silence like tiny darts. They ripped pinpricks through the air and flew, lodging straight into Yuuji's heart. This time his feet actually stopped. He turned and stared in disbelief at the blue-haired boy.

Nagisa gazed right back. His eyes were open and honest, as clear as twin ponds. Behind him and to the side, the lights of the train station blinked in faint chorus. "I think that you're a good person," Nagisa said. "And I can tell you mean well, most of the time. I don't think the others know how nice you can really be."

Nagisa reached up and swept a strand of blue hair behind one ear, in a gesture that looked almost bashful. "When I saw you again at the table, I was…really happy," he said. "I'm glad that we met."

Yuuji stood still. The world seemed to have come crashing to a semi-halt around him. He couldn't breathe. But he didn't care.

Then Nagisa gave him another smile. It was a small one this time, and curtailed at the ends with embarrassment, but just as perfect as all the others before it.

"Talk to me again sometime," he said, and the words felt like they were coming to Yuuji through deep water. "Here. My number." Nagisa held out a small piece of notebook paper, trimmed to a perfect rectangle.

Slowly, Yuuji reached out and took it. He held the paper tight as if the entire world depended on it.

Nagisa turned to the side. "I think you're interesting, Yuuji. Well…bye, then."

He set off and started to leave, pausing a few paces away to look back over his shoulder. "Or, hopefully… See you later."

Yuuji stood absolutely still, his mind repeating every word that Nagisa had said over and over. He watched as the paper—that wonderful, impossible piece of paper—fluttered in his fingers.

By the time he had recovered, snapping his gaze to the left and mouth dropping open to call out Nagisa's name, the boy was gone. Not even the ghost of a blue-lined figure was left on the breeze. People began to pass by all around Yuuji, jostling him as they headed both into and out of the station, but the figure of Nagisa was nowhere among them.

How does he do that? The thought flashed unbidden through Yuuji's mind. A small shiver of excitement ran across his skin. Some part of him, some insane fragment of his being, felt almost like it couldn't wait to find out.

Eventually, Yuuji shook himself, forcing his legs to move as he entered the train station. He left with the feeling of magic on his fingertips and a thick fog still in his head. Somehow, the cold didn't seem too bad anymore.

Yeah. Yuuji was pretty sure he was the luckiest person on earth.

Chapter Text

A few days later…

Against all odds, the world had continued to turn. The sun rose and set, hours passed excruciatingly by, and people went about their daily lives.

Here in the suburb of Kunugigaoka, too, it was another normal day.

A slight breeze swept through the air, ruffling the edges of Yuuji's dark-colored jacket. The neighborhood surrounding him was both familiar and unfamiliar—buildings in styles that he had seen before, but not in any arrangement that he recognized. In the background, the dull noise of society continued on from somewhere behind the rows of houses. Late afternoon sunlight spread heavy over the town, soaking into each inch of concrete. Just looking at it made Yuuji want to curse Japan's school system for running to such late hours.

After all, today was the day he finally got to see Nagisa.

Nagisa stood in front of Yuuji now, blinking in confusion. "So…what are we doing here, again?"

The two of them were currently standing in an abandoned lot. Located just a few blocks away from the main road, Yuuji had dragged them here immediately after meeting Nagisa at the train station. The plot of land stretched around them in a desolate landscape, relatively small for what it was, but made to feel bigger by its utter bleakness. A few pieces of scrap metal lay scattered about. Weeds reached hungrily up through cracks in the ground. From where Yuuji and Nagisa stood by the far wall, a small pile of tires could be seen gathered together in a corner.

Yuuji spread out his hands in response. "Like I said, 'what else can you do?'"

"I'm curious after seeing your skills with that, er, that 'rival assassin'," he continued. "And I know you're in training for something. So that means you've probably got even more tricks up your sleeve, right?"

Surprise showed on Nagisa's face. "Eh? You want to see that stuff?"

Yuuji nodded. He put his hands on his hips in a confident gesture. "I want to know everything about you. How are we supposed to be…uh…friends, otherwise?"

Yuuji blushed slightly. He had said that last bit while looking away. To be honest, he hadn't quite gotten a handle on what they were to each other. What happened between them back the other day… Well, it hadn't exactly been a full confession, but it hadn't been nothing, either. Still, it wasn't like they were officially dating now or anything. It had just been…a moment. Yeah. A starting point. Yuuji struggled to keep his cheeks from flushing deeper as words from that day drifted through his head. All Nagisa had said was 'I like you'…

Just thinking about it made Yuuji's stomach twist into knots. And he wasn't quite sure what to think about the feeling.

On the inside, Yuuji gave a frustrated sigh. He probably shouldn't read too much into this. He was just glad that Nagisa still wanted to see him.

Nagisa gave him a look. The boy had come today dressed in a cream-colored sweater over a white shirt, complete with his school uniform tie and gray cargo pants. It was a casual, well-put-together outfit for after school. "You can't know everything about me," he said in a tone that managed to sound more soothing than accusatory. "It's just not possible, like I told you." He tilted his head to the side. "Besides, are you sure? I would have thought that learning about these things was kinda scary."

"You don't have to tell me anything," Yuuji said quickly. "I know you can't say more about, um, the 'program'. But maybe…" He leaned in closer to Nagisa as his voice took on a conspiratorial tone. "You could show me, just a little bit?"

For a moment, Nagisa stared back. Then a small, impressed smile appeared at the corner of the boy's mouth. "Sneaky. I like it."

He turned to the side, looking over towards the edge of the lot and into a nearby alleyway. "Alright. In that case, let's go over there."

Yuuji followed the boy's gaze and frowned. "There?"

"Yeah, I know that alley. It'll work well for us."

Before Yuuji could fully register what a strange thing that was for a middle-school student to say, Nagisa had set off at a near-jog. "Race you."

Yuuji moved, answering the challenge. Why the hell not? Might as well go along with it—he was excited to hear anything Nagisa had to say. A sudden thrill ran through Yuuji's veins at the very thought of what he might learn, lightening his shoulders and bringing a spring to his step.

Fortunately Yuuji had been the one standing closer to the alleyway side, so with a bit of effort he managed to reach the entrance first. He slapped one hand against the wall, feet skidding to a stop. "Ha! Beat you—"

"Not there, silly." Yuuji barely caught sight of a blurred grin as Nagisa passed him. "That's not our finish line."

In the blink of an eye, Nagisa had clambered up the corridor wall, climbing via a drainage pipe. His hands and feet made soft, skilled taps against its sides.

When he reached the top, Nagisa lunged out to touch an old signpost. He turned to face Yuuji, holding onto the pipe with both legs and one hand while bracing himself against the sign with his left. He grinned down. "I win."

Yuuji's jaw dropped.

Nagisa let go, managing to do one forward flip before hitting the ground. He sprung back up lightly onto his feet. "This is one part of what I do," Nagisa said. He cast a glance around the rest of the alleyway. "There's also…"

With practiced ease, he moved. In three quick bounds Nagisa had climbed a nearby stack of crates, alternating feet between boxes. He turned and leapt up to an overhanging bar near the street sign, swinging under it and then heaving his feet upwards, rotating once around the bar like a gymnast before letting go, landing and turning the momentum into a controlled forward roll.

He came up in a crouch. Nagisa glanced up once, raising his head. Then he charged forward in a run before doing a kick-flip off the nearest wall, blue hair a blur.

When Nagisa next stood, he stopped. He looked towards Yuuji, frozen in place. Yuuji just stared. It seemed like a strange thing to see Nagisa back on the ground now, vertical and obeying the laws of gravity.

Nagisa curled in on himself, one arm crossing in front his chest as if he were embarrassed. "Weird, right?"

Yuuji breathed. "W-woah…"

Nagisa wouldn't look at him, keeping his gaze on the ground. "I know it's not something that a normal middle schooler should be able to do…"

"So cool!" Yuuji burst out, startling the other boy.

"You can do parkour? That's awesome!" Yuuji gabbed. "I wanted to do it once, too, but going to classes would have been a major pain. Some of my buddies were still interested, though. I've seen so many videos…"

Yuuji gaped at the pile of crates on his left, trying to reimagine the path Nagisa had taken to scale them. Excitement pulsed through his mind like lightning. His brain was a buzz of activity. This narrow alleyway now seemed like a place of boundless possibilities.

Yuuji took a look around before coming back to focus on Nagisa. "Umm…" He made a sheepish expression and raised one finger to point at himself. "Teach me?"

At first, Nagisa looked surprised. Then, the expression faded into something that was more like 'touched'. He nodded once.

They began.

For starters, Nagisa tried to run Yuuji through some basics. A little hop off of the lowest crate. The briefest explanation of ukemi technique ("how to fall safely"? Yuuji didn't get it. Was such a thing even possible?). Making sure that one's shoes were tied tight. No, leave your backpack on the ground, it'll throw off your balance. Bend your knees more!

Yuuji tried many different things, but whenever they moved beyond the fundamentals, he failed utterly. He struggled to pull himself up onto any surface. His legs quaked when simply standing on top of the highest stack of crates. Compared to Nagisa, his movements were clumsy and slow. He spent long minutes flailing, scrabbling for even the most obvious of handholds. He never got more than two feet off the ground, and not for more than two seconds at a time.

Nagisa continued to give out instructions, but the occasional pause signaled whenever the boy stopped to muffle a laugh. The light sound of Nagisa's laughter was a pleasant companion, but not an altogether helpful one when Yuuji was struggling. Still, the blue-haired boy continued to assist, correcting Yuuji's footholds and guiding him towards alternate routes. Judging by the intensity of the stare Yuuji felt on the back of his neck, Nagisa seemed to be fascinated by all of his attempts.

At one point, Nagisa shook his head and muttered. "You really have no clue about this, do you?"

"What?" said Yuuji, red in the face from trying to do a pull-up.

"Nothing."

Eventually, Nagisa declared that he would demonstrate a few moves. Yuuji relished the chance for a break, gasping and bracing his hands on his knees. When he looked up, Nagisa had already begun.

In one deft motion, Nagisa leapt off of the crates in a sideways roll, spinning like a whirlwind before somehow landing on his feet. Then with a running start, Nagisa leapfrogged over a small garbage can. The lid didn't even rattle as it passed beneath him. A place slightly lower than Yuuji's stomach hurt just thinking about trying that.

The boy barely paused between tricks, flowing from one to the other. He moved with an ease that seemed to not be of this world. At one point Nagisa managed to scramble up the wall using only his arms, no toeholds. After that, he pounced back down from the rooftop, landing on top of the dumpster and transferring to the ground, making as little noise as an owl's wing.

For the main event, he even leapt across the entire gap above the alleyway, a feat that made Yuuji gasp and his innards run cold.

Lastly, in a complicated maneuver, Nagisa ran a few steps up the wall. He kicked off and made a 180-degree turn before bouncing off of the other wall, now behind him, catapulting himself up to the rooftop. Gripping the ledge, Nagisa stayed with his feet braced against the concrete like a cat. He hung there for a few seconds before dropping, uninjured, using his legs like a springboard to absorb the landing.

For a moment or two, Yuuji thought he saw a flash of darkness, some cold concentration around Nagisa's limbs as the boy went. Nagisa's eyes were sharp, glinting as they found each precise foothold, always calculating the next part of the route. Each movement was smooth, bunched with hidden power. It reminded Yuuji of the coiling and uncoiling of a snake. But Yuuji didn't care. It was probably just adrenaline.

By then, the "demonstration" had turned into more of an exhibition. The two of them ran around for a bit, Yuuji chasing after Nagisa and shouting while Nagisa cheekily parkoured away, pausing to smack the baseball cap off of Yuuji's head as he passed. A game of tag turned into keep-away turned into teasing which turned into just plain having fun. For a few short minutes, the alleyway expanded until it became their entire world.

"Come on, you can do it! Keep going, Yuuji!" Nagisa cheered.

Yuuji was currently struggling to shimmy up the wall, having decided to take up the challenge again. Damned if he wouldn't get at least one thing right! But his palms were sweaty, his knees were weak and his arms were spaghetti. It seemed impossible to hold one's weight away from gravity by sheer force alone. How on earth did Nagisa do this?

With a gasp, Yuuji lost traction. He fell with a stomach-churning lurch.

Fortunately, Nagisa was right behind him.

They collided. Yuuji felt his torso hit against something firm, one arm coming around to grab him from the side. There was a mess of bumping. Dull pain burst from one spot on the back of Yuuji's head as they tumbled to the ground in a tangle of arms and legs.

The next thing Yuuji knew, he was lying face-down against the concrete. He groaned.

The mysterious weight behind him lifted, rolling away. In its place, Nagisa came into view. The boy was rubbing his chin as if he had hit it on something (the bruise there matched the sore spot on Yuuji's head, Yuuji realized dully), but judging by the grin currently on his face, it was no big deal.

Nagisa flopped down on the asphalt right next to Yuuji, his arms spreading out and chest heaving with laughter. To his surprise, Yuuji found himself drawn into laughing at the situation as well. Both of them lay there together for a minute, laughing, out of breath, their heads spinning and muscles tired.

When Yuuji next opened his eyes, he found Nagisa's face less than a foot away from him. Lit up and beaming with joy, he could see the curve of the boy's cheeks, each sweep of his eyelashes. The world seemed to jolt for a moment. Yuuji heard his voice waver as his heart skipped a beat. Damn, Nagisa was close.

Nagisa rolled slightly, moving from his side onto his back for a moment. One of his arms came up with the motion. Unaware, their hands brushed against each other.

The feeling was electric. A shiver shot across Yuuji's skin beginning in his fingertip. A sudden warmth seeped between them, spreading through the place where they touched with a feeling as gentle and warm as two sunbeams meeting.

Reflexively, the two of them drew away. Yuuji pulled his hand in close to his chest. Nagisa blinked and gave an apologetic smile before hurrying to look somewhere else. The laughter between them petered out. Yuuji stared silently down at his hand, flexing its fingers.

The silence stretched on. The two of them calmed down, resting next to each other as their breathing slowly returned to normal.

After a little while, Nagisa sat up.

"Well," he said. "That was fun." The boy gazed around them before doing a double-take. "Oh, shoot! I didn't realize how long we'd been here."

"What?" Yuuji blinked. Was it really that late? He looked up at the sky. It was a deep orange color, the kind of hue given off by the Sun as it hovered on the edge of the horizon somewhere out of sight. Incredible. The time had passed so quickly.

Nagisa stood and brushed off his pants. "I should get home. I promised that I'd cook dinner."

"Already?" Yuuji scrambled to sit up.

Nagisa smirked. "Don't you always say that when I have to leave?"

Yuuji's only response was a stupid grin. He couldn't deny it. No matter how much time he spent with Nagisa, it never felt like enough.

He stood to join the other boy. At Nagisa's suggestion, they tried to do a small clean-up of the area. They erased handprints left in the dirt and moved the broken pieces of a crate into one natural-looking pile next to the other boxes. Then they focused on making themselves look presentable, Yuuji batting dust off of his jacket while Nagisa straightened his tie.

"Well, I guess that's good enough," Nagisa said once they were finished. He gave Yuuji a farewell smile. "Bye, then."

Yuuji nodded. "Yeah, sure. S-See you again?" He cursed inwardly at the sudden stutter. What the hell? Where had that come from?

"Of course," Nagisa chirped, accepting the invitation. Then the boy seemed to remember something. He brought one finger up to his lips. "Just remember-"

"It's a secret," Yuuji finished. He made a motion of locking his mouth and throwing away the key. "Don't worry—my lips are sealed. Your superpowers are safe with me."

Nagisa stifled a laugh. He looked at Yuuji and raised an eyebrow. "Superpowers… Heh. What a nice thing to call it."

Then he gave a little wave and left.

Yuuji waved back on automatic, watching as Nagisa walked out of sight. As the boy passed into the open lot and then slowly disappeared around a faraway corner, he slowly lowered his hand.

Yuuji straightened his posture and gave a long sigh. He felt so…content in this moment. So happy. There was a glowing feeling in his chest, lifting him up and making him almost believe that he could defy gravity. His face kept pulling itself into a damnable grin.

Humming to himself, Yuuji did a second self-check before heading home. His fingers batted a piece of trash out of the back of his hair. Yuuji made a face, part of his good mood vanishing instantly. Eugh. That was what he got for laying on the ground.

Although, his thoughts started to wander. With Nagisa there it hadn't seemed so bad…

Speaking of Nagisa, the boy was gone by now. Yuuji blinked, coming to his senses. The alleyway felt so much emptier in Nagisa's absence. Hollow, like all the fun had drained out of it. Yuuji gave the area a cursory glance before shrugging and setting off towards the opposite end of the corridor. There was no point in being here any longer.

As he walked, the slight sensation of floating still lingered about his limbs. A fleeting thought of what had caused it drifted through Yuuji's mind, and he fought to suppress the resulting tidal wave of self-consciousness. He still felt flustered thinking of how they had touched. For a moment, Yuuji brought up his hand and stared at it, rubbing the fingers together as if imagining sparks shooting between them. If he thought hard, he could almost remember the way it had felt…

Suddenly, something on the corridor wall caught Yuuji's eye. It was the drainage pipe. Yuuji stopped and stared.

Silently, Yuuji stepped closer. The pipe looked the same as before—a dingy gray column running vertically up the wall. Yuuji reached out and took hold of it with one hand—his left, the one that hadn't touched Nagisa. He tensed the muscles, shifting his grip. For a moment Yuuji concentrated, imagining the path, the motion he would need. Yes. That was it. He could see it now. Yuuji's brow furrowed as he pulled, feeling his arm strain against the resistance-

And stopped. Yuuji could tell without even trying. There was no point to it.

Useless.

Yuuji stood there in silence for a long while. Then he moved on, letting go of the pipe.

As he walked away, Yuuji scratched the back of his head with his left hand. What had Nagisa once said to him? 'I think you're interesting, Yuuji.'

A small scoff escaped his lips. "Man, really? I can't even climb a wall."

He rubbed his fingers together the entire train ride home.

Chapter Text

Yuuji bounced on his heels. He fidgeted on the doorstep, glancing once more at the sign on the wall: a square panel bearing the words '301, Shiota'. The house that it was attached to appeared to be an ordinary building—wide, square, and painted white, with slanted tile rooftops.

A few more days had passed since last time, and- Wait, was it a few days? Maybe a week? Yuuji didn't know. But that didn't matter. Time was fuzzy around the edges and was certainly a thing that held no consequence.

He and Nagisa had tried to hang out a bit more, but it was tough. Nagisa said that he was often busy with schoolwork, both at Kunugigaoka Junior High and studying at home. If Yuuji had to guess, a certain program's "training" probably also contributed to those absurd "club-time" hours.

In order to make up for it, Nagisa had invited Yuuji to his house.

'I've had friends over occasionally, so it should be okay!' he had said via text message. Yuuji still wasn't completely sure what Nagisa meant by that, but whatever.

Yuuji looked over the gift in his arms one more time. It was a beautifully-wrapped box, with purple wrapping fabric tied at the top in a neckerchief-style bow. Inside was a package from a semi-famous sweets shop. It contained little sponge cakes, each one of them individually wrapped. The present was both pricy and stylish. Yuuji hoped it would be good enough.

Still standing on the threshold, Yuuji took a deep breath. It wouldn't look very cool to dawdle around. He should just go ahead and stop thinking about things so much. Yuuji raised one hand to the door and knocked.

There was a moment's pause. Then came a clattering noise as one window opened from some room above. Nagisa's head poked out from the opening. From this distance, his hair framed his face like a blue halo. "Yuuji? Hi!" he called down.

Yuuji grinned and waved back.

"I'm coming right down!" Nagisa's words echoed behind his retreating form.

A soft thumping came from inside the house as the boy went, moving from left to right.

Yuuji smiled to himself. He listened as the noises changed, picturing Nagisa moving through whatever the inside of his home was like. Yuuji shifted in place while he waited, adjusting his grip on the gift-

Wait. A thought stopped him cold. Had he left the price tag on? Shoot, he had forgotten all about it until-

There was a creaking noise as the hinges moved.

The person who opened the door was not Nagisa. Instead, a woman stood in the opening. She had short black hair, with bangs swept to one side. Her face was stern. She glowered down at Yuuji, keeping one hand braced against the doorway. When Yuuji's eyes flicked, trying to see over her arm, he found that she was blocking his view of the inside of the house.

"Are you that Norita boy?" said the woman.

"Y-yes?" Yuuji had never before sounded so unsure of his own name.

The woman stared at him for a few more seconds. Then she withdrew back inside. "Hmph. Come in."

Yuuji followed, letting out a breath that he hadn't even realized he was holding.

They stood together in the living room later, after Yuuji had kicked his shoes off and stored them in the entryway. He slowly looked around, taking in the image of where Nagisa lived. The space was clean and practical, featuring a large living room with a kitchen attached. Most of the furniture was in neutral colors.

The woman stood off to the side, tapping one finger against her folded arms. Yuuji snuck a glance at her once more. She was wearing a white sweater over a black pencil skirt. On her feet was a pair of low heels. Black and white clothing seemed to suit her, he realized.

What is she dressed for? Yuuji wondered. She an Office Lady or something? Overall this woman was beautiful, but it was a beauty that felt held together by very tight laces.

Yuuji brought up his gift and handed it over to her, bowing slightly as he gave it. "Thank you for letting me visit, Miss…Shiota, right?"

"Shiota Hiromi," she replied, glancing over the gift. She ran one finger lightly across its fabric.

Ah, Yuuji thought. So she was Nagisa's mother.

In that moment, Nagisa came thumping down the stairs. The boy froze in the entryway. He stared, eyes focused on Yuuji and his mother. "W-welcome, Yuuji…" he stuttered after a few moments.

The woman, Hiromi, tucked the gift under one arm and faced Yuuji again, peering down at him. Yuuji tried not to tense up. He could sense her gaze running over his skin. Somehow he knew everything she must be looking at—the brand of the clothes he was wearing, what kind of bag he had brought, how he carried himself… all of it would be things that she noticed. Oh, yes. He had met people like her before. He tried to match her gaze with a blank, harmless stare.

She opened her mouth.

"Lights out by ten," Nagisa's mother said. "It may be a weekend night, but you boys still need rest if you're going to do well in school. No extra rough-housing or horseplay. Keep it civil. The bedroom door must be open at least an inch at all times; Nagisa knows the drill. Oh, and do be careful to not trash the place."

She looked at Yuuji. "You coming was a surprise, but I'm sure we'll manage." Then the woman smiled kindly and left, walking into another room.

Yuuji stood, unsure what to say, until Nagisa came up beside him.

The boy gave Yuuji an apologetic smile. "Well, that was awkward," said Nagisa. "I never thought you'd meet my mom this early! But looks like it's all good now. You heard her—as long as we follow the rules, we'll be fine."

Yuuji shrugged. He adjusted the overnight bag on his shoulder, a small spark of excitement beginning to ignite within him. "Can't wait to get started."

Nagisa brought them up to his room. "Make yourself at home," he said, gesturing around with one hand.

Yuuji tossed his stuff down near the bed. He hadn't brought much—just enough for one sleepover night, and a few games.

The two of them exchanged the usual pleasantries, catching up on what had gone on in their lives since last time. Nagisa sat on his bed while Yuuji fiddled around in a rolling chair.

As it happened, Yuuji had brought a tennis ball, and within minutes they had made a game out of it. Yuuji and Nagisa took turns trying to shoot hoops with the wastebasket, muffling their laughter and placing pillows on the floor to stifle the thumping noises so Nagisa's mother wouldn't get angry.

Eventually, the action shifted naturally into conversation. The two of them just talked, kicking their feet and flopping around on the pillow-floor. They jabbered about school gossip, how awesome next summer was going to be, and what high schools their classmates were thinking of going to.

But that discussion led nowhere. Gradually, Yuuji began to almost feel like he was bragging. His classmates were all aiming for super-high-performance, super-high-price exclusive prep schools, while Nagisa kept saying that his classmates were more focused on the end of this school year than the start of the next one. And after a few more minutes, Yuuji began to realize that Nagisa actually hadn't given up much personal information on his friends at all. Yuuji decided to just let the conversation thread die.

They moved on to showing each other videos on the internet. That wasted a good two hours. By the time their recommended videos began to become randomized cooking shows and gaming playthroughs, their cheeks were hurting from laughter and Yuuji knew far more about Puzzle Monsters than he would ever need to know.

Eventually, they started playing board games. Yuuji learned that Nagisa was surprisingly good at chess, and was also adept at checkers. But he was awful at cards. Just god-awful. Every time he drew a busted hand, disappointment flashed clear as day on his face.

Yuuji played like a champ, racking up a few big streaks here and there. But he was careful not to overdemonstrate. He lost a few hands on purpose, choosing not to pursue paths that would lead to the largest bonus points. Faint memories flashed through his mind—velveted tables, cards flipping in the strobe lights of a dance club, a row of dingy, backlit counters in yet another rich-kid babysitting resort. Yuuji suppressed a shudder. He couldn't let Nagisa realize where he had learned his skills.

As they played through one last round of Othello, a thought came to Yuuji. He snuck a glance up at Nagisa, the boy's face frowning while he looked over the board.

Yuuji did see some similarities between Nagisa and his mother's appearance. They both had the same soft features, high forehead, and demure feeling about them. But Nagisa was also rather different. His hair color was wildly dissimilar, for one—blue was a far cry from black. Briefly, Yuuji wondered what Nagisa's father looked like.

"Umm…" Yuuji looked back towards the door, craning his neck a bit as if to see through the opening. "I'd really like to meet your father sometime. Will he be home later, or…?"

Nagisa blinked and then gave a soft smile. "My parents are divorced. Dad doesn't live with us."

Oh.

Yuuji felt like an anvil marked DUH had dropped on his head. "Oh. Okay," he said, sheepish.

He looked down, cheeks burning with embarrassment. Stupid, stupid, stupid! He shouldn't have asked. Why didn't he just leave it as Nagisa's business? Yuuji wished he could scream.

He should have known, anyway. Something twitched in the back of his mind. A shadow of a thought, of some familiar emptiness, the table set for two and not three, the eyes of a mother who knew that she alone was the entire world, of a space that was missing here too.

He took a breath. "Hey."

Nagisa glanced up at him with a questioning look.

"Wanna see this funny face my friends taught me?" Yuuji brought up his fingers, pulling on his nose while grimacing.

He relaxed once Nagisa began to laugh. A small grin crept onto Yuuji's face. Hopefully he had made up for his faux pas.

A knock came from the door.

"Boys," Nagisa's mother called through the one-inch crack. "Dinner's ready."

Yuuji and Nagisa looked at each other. Suddenly they were both starving.

They rushed to get downstairs, Yuuji winning the race to the door.

It was actually pretty fun eating dinner at a friend's house. And as it turned out, Nagisa's mom was a really good cook. There was shrimp and vegetable tempura, crunchy and delicious, with rice and a few side dishes as accompaniment. The three of them made polite conversation as they ate, with Nagisa's mother asking Yuuji questions about his school and plans for winter break.

When she asked how he knew Nagisa, Yuuji nearly choked on a shrimp. Luckily he managed to pass it off as a rough swallow, and said something about meeting Nagisa during their summer break island vacation. The other boy nodded and chimed in with a few more details, solidifying their story. Later during dinner, Yuuji caught Nagisa's eye and received a minuscule nod of confirmation. Yuuji breathed a sigh. It was a relief to know that he hadn't messed up whatever alibi Nagisa was living under.

When dinner was over, Yuuji felt pleasantly full. He trudged back upstairs along with Nagisa. There, they rushed to brush their teeth as it was already almost time for bed.

They set out Yuuji's stuff. Nagisa rolled out the guest futon, bringing him a pillow. Yuuji arranged his belongings, which mostly just consisted of taking whatever he needed and shoving things back into his bag after he was done using them.

Apparently the Shiotas had even reserved a small space in Nagisa's closet for him. Yuuji accepted the gesture in order to be gracious, allowing the boy to open the closet doors and start hanging up his clothes for the next day. When Yuuji came up behind Nagisa, peeking over his shoulder, Nagisa hurriedly shoved the rest of his clothes to the side. The hangers moved with a grating shrrk noise. All Yuuji saw was the wisp of something lacey with a butterfly pattern on it as the clothes disappeared from sight. But as Nagisa took the clothes from Yuuji's grasp two seconds later, all was forgotten.

At last they were both settled in.

"Okay, are you ready?" said Nagisa. He stood by the door with one hand placed on the light switch. In the next few seconds, Nagisa turned off the lights with a click, then ran back to his bed, tripping over Yuuji in the ensuing darkness. "Ow!"

" 'Ow'? That's my line!" Yuuji exclaimed, but stifled a laugh at the same time. "You ran into me!"

"Well, I didn't mean it!" Nagisa whined. "It was dark."

"I thought you had super-awesome-night-vision."

A pillow was thrown at him from Nagisa's direction. "You can't override human biology, dummy."

The teasing continued for a few more minutes. Then, slowly, the two of them settled down into a pre-sleep haze. A quiet atmosphere spread through the room. Only the occasional giggle or recalled joke broke the mood. Yuuji snickered from his place on the floor. Everything was always a little bit funnier after dark.

"Goodnight, Yuuji." Nagisa whispered, his breath a soft gust through the stillness.

Yuuji closed his eyes. "Goodnight, Nagisa."

Silence fell. All that existed now was a world of darkness. If Yuuji were to open his eyes, he knew that he wouldn't be able to see one foot in front of his face. But then perhaps, if he waited, he would just barely begin to make out the outlines of shapes. The curve of the room light hanging overhead. The top edge of the bookshelf. Darker patches along the wall that must be posters.

All these thoughts came to him through a fog, half-remembered and half-imagined, like images glimpsed through miniscule blinks or the beginnings of a dream. He didn't know anymore.

Somewhere in the night, there might have been the touch of the lightest footstep against the floorboards. A few moments later, the door might have opened just a sliver and then swung silently shut again. Nagisa, supplied Yuuji's mind as it shut down, probably stepping out to the bathroom.

Yuuji rolled over onto his side. His breathing deepened, his face relaxed. Everything slowed, falling into a comforting rhythm like the pushing and pulling of the tides. The shoreline was all around him.

Yuuji was supposed to be asleep.

He wasn't.

He wriggled. He clutched at the sheets. Yuuji hid a grin, stuffing it into his pillow. He couldn't do it. He was too excited to sleep!

Just think about it—this was Nagisa's place. It was smaller than his own house, and plainer, but oh well. It was charming in its own way. Yuuji rolled over, giving up on any attempts to quiet his mind. Dimly, he realized that hadn't spent much time away from home before. Besides, sleepovers were, like, super-rare here in Japan.

With his gaze now angled up towards the ceiling, Yuuji tried to take it all in. He looked around the room, seeing nothing in the darkness but trying to remember what had been. A closet. A bed. A set of dresser drawers over to the right. A bookshelf teeming with textbooks, study guides, and a few novels, some small action figures waiting on a nearby shelf. Everything in different shades of black.

Yuuji was still comparing this house to his place when the door opened.

It swung open wider than before. Its arc was a less careful wobble. A lone figure walked in, their footsteps a shuffle on the carpet.

A bead of sweat ran cold on Yuuji's forehead. Who was there? The mom? He wriggled around a bit and located his flashlight in the outside pocket of his bag. Then he turned around and flicked it on, shading the beam with his hand.

The figure was relatively short. They wore familiar flannel pajamas, standing there with lowered shoulders, scuffed cheeks, and long blue hair hanging down to their shoulders. They didn't say a word.

Yuuji squinted. He didn't recognize that long hair. But he had some experience with seeing past that familiar feminine appearance by now...

His eyes widened. Oh my god.

Yuuji scrambled to his feet, flashlight beam bouncing wildly. "Nagisa? That's you, isn't it?" he said.

Nagisa flinched away. He wouldn't look at Yuuji. His gaze stayed focused on some other point past him, as if Nagisa just wanted to get around him and move onto the bed. When Yuuji tried to reach out, he took his arm away.

"What the hell happened?"

"It's nothing," Nagisa replied.

"What is this?" Yuuji breathed. "Your face looks scratched." And it was true. The boy's cheeks were scuffed a bit, two thin lines there in the width of fingernails. But that wasn't all. Yuuji noticed Nagisa's hair was disheveled on the sides of his head. Dimly, he realized that he had never seen Nagisa with his hair worn long before. Yuuji's gaze flicked down. And were those a few band-aids on his fingers?

"I just came in to get a bandage," Nagisa mumbled. "Go back to sleep."

You keep bandages in your room? Yuuji's thoughts were running at a mile a minute.

Nagisa faced away, dodging all of Yuuji's pleading hands and concerned looks. For one moment, Yuuji thought he heard something like a muttered 'You shouldn't see this...'

"Nagisa," he repeated. "Tell me what's going on-"

"It's a dream, you'll wake up in the morning," Nagisa snapped.

Yuuji paused. He stared at the other boy. "This...this isn't a dream," he said. "I'm awake, I'm pretty sure. I didn't even fall asleep, so there's no way I'm imagining this right now."

Nagisa rubbed his arm. "It's nothing," he repeated. "Just an accident."

An accident? Yuuji couldn't believe that. His mind slowly ran through the possibilities. This didn't look like it had come from falling down the stairs, or from spilling something in the bathroom-

Something dawned on him.

"Nagisa… This happened when… when you went downstairs, didn't it?" said Yuuji, his insides turning to ice.

"Did… Did something…hit you?" he said, because the alternative was too horrifying to say out loud.

Nagisa gave no answer. No confirmation was needed. In the darkness, Yuuji thought he could see the boy's eyes shining with held-back tears.

The ice turned to shadow in Yuuji's guts. He opened his mouth but no sound came out.

Nagisa sighed. "Yuuji, it's nothing," he maintained. "She promised that she'd get better. It probably just…slipped her mind."

She. There was a lump in Yuuji's throat. His mind hardly seemed to process the words. Maybe this was all an illusion. Maybe this entire situation could just fade into the darkness of the night and vanish. They could blame it on the late hour, this time of dreams and nightmares and other things that were never real, only momentary.

Nagisa glanced down. The outline of his sky-blue, octopus-print pajamas was becoming more and more visible as Yuuji's vision adjusted. "I don't want you to worry," he whispered.

"How could I not worry?" Yuuji said, trying to sound soothing. "Nagisa, this… This is-"

"This isn't your problem."

"If it concerns you getting hurt, then it is my problem," Yuuji heard himself say. "You went down, and you came back up…well…"

"I'm not beaten," Nagisa retorted. He rubbed one cheek with his hand. "It's just a little bruise."

A little bruise?! Yuuji fell silent. He wanted to shake his head. He wanted to protest, to pull Nagisa farther away from that door, to do…something! But he just watched, expression grim.

A few moments passed.

"What can I do?" Nagisa suddenly burst out. "I'm dependent on her. I owe her my home, my food, my life…" His voice trailed off.

"Okay," Yuuji spoke in a whisper. He reached out toward the boy with one calming hand. Nagisa looked away, scowling whenever Yuuji tried to catch his gaze. "Okay," Yuuji said again. "Okay. Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Nagisa."

He didn't know why he was apologizing. He didn't even really know what he was apologizing for. But Nagisa seemed upset, and for the moment all Yuuji could concentrate on was the need to calm him down and make him feel alright again.

Nagisa took a deep breath, regrouping. He nodded once. "It's not that bad. Really. Like I said, she promised she would stop. That just takes some time, is all."

"I promised to stay with her only until I became an adult... That's not that far away, now," Nagisa said, his voice strained with optimism. "And she's my mother, I mean, she'll probably be really lonely once I've left, so we should spend as much time together while we still can, and I'm- I'm fine with being here for that..."

Yuuji's heart sunk. He felt a foreign, faint stirring of rage beneath it. This was all so wrong. How could Nagisa say those things? It sounded desperate, like someone who had been pretending for so long that they no longer had any energy left to do otherwise.

"No," Yuuji said. "No, I don't… Nagisa, listen. I don't think that your mother should-"

Nagisa twitched. "Stop," he said in a voice that made Yuuji's tongue freeze inside his mouth. "Don't you dare say one word against her."

Yuuji fell silent. He gestured helplessly with his hands and then out a deep sigh.

"Nagisa." He managed to take the boy's hand. "Look, I don't know what's been going on here, but…" Yuuji took a shaky breath. "Do you want me to call some people? I can-"

"No!" Nagisa pulled away roughly. "If you tell, then I'll never forgive you! Besides, that would just lead to even more trouble. What would people think, Yuuji? What would they say? I might lose my mother, and then what?" Nagisa's eyes glinted in the darkness, hurt and yet clear and still, inexplicably, filled with love.

The boy fidgeted in place. "I wasn't supposed to tell you about this, anyway. It'll only get worse if she finds out that I came here instead of cleaning up by myself."

Yuuji stood silent, at a complete loss. The feeling of despair hung heavy, threatening to overtake him. "So, we can't tell anyone?" he asked lamely.

Nagisa shook his head. "No." After a moment of silence, he spoke again. "Please don't."

Yuuji almost started to struggle, but then stopped. He looked at Nagisa, taking in the boy's face, his hands, his matted hair. But also, his stern expression—wounded and yet resolute.

Yuuji sagged. "Alright," he relented.

The smallest of smiles cracked across Nagisa's face. Gratitude.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

The boy nodded. He brushed past Yuuji, walking over to the bed and then crawling back into it. Nagisa pulled the covers over himself, sending the message that the night had returned to its previous level of normality.

Feeling dazed, Yuuji sat down on his futon. He spread himself out to lie inside of it, gathering the blankets around himself again.

But his thoughts refused to leave him alone.

Yuuji lay still as a stone, listening to the sound of his own breath as it came in what seemed like too-noisy bursts. He was scared. He was so scared, scared like a churning in his gut and a crawling over his skin. He couldn't name what had just happened here, but he was still scared of what it meant.

What should he do? What could he do? He had no training, no expertise that would help in this situation. For all Yuuji knew, he might just make things worse. Maybe it was getting better. Maybe this was the only time this had happened. Maybe it really was 'nothing'. If it was, then Yuuji didn't have to deal with it.

According to Nagisa, there was nothing to be done, anyway. Nagisa had said that he didn't even want Yuuji's help. He had told him to forget it, and assured him that things would be alright. He should respect Nagisa's wishes, right? Nagisa would know what was best for him. Yuuji's thoughts raced. He felt torn between options that didn't really exist. The emotions in his mind circled back and around again, always arriving at the same miserable conclusion.

But most of all…

He was just a kid. He had no power. Yuuji gripped the blankets tight around him, acutely aware of his hands holding nothing. He curled up into a ball and felt helpless.

Nagisa was quiet on the bed next to him, the slight stirring of his breath the only hint of someone existing underneath the bedsheets. This time there was no exchange of goodnights between them.

Yuuji tried desperately to forget and hoped that Nagisa would be okay in the morning.

Yuuji stood in the living room. Mid-morning light bathed the entire space around him, bouncing off of the furniture. He adjusted the overnight bag resting on his shoulder—all packed and ready to go home.

On his left, Nagisa smiled up at him. "You got everything?"

Yuuji gave a quiet nod. "Yup."

"Good. I don't think you forgot anything, but if you did then I'll bring it to you later."

Soft footsteps sounded from around the corner. "Have a good rest of the week, Yuuji," Nagisa's mother called as she came into view. The woman's sweater top had been changed for a pressed white blouse. She had a small, kind smile on her face.

Yuuji muttered an automatic "Thank you". He looked at her carefully for a moment, sneaking one more glance before looking away.

He couldn't see it. She looked just the same as she did yesterday—a respectable career woman with a sharp mind and a prim feeling all about her. Charming. Put-together. Polished. Reasonably happy.

But Yuuji ducked his head. He knew the truth.

He paused in the entryway, tripped up by trying to put his shoes back on using his feet alone. Nagisa stood there, waiting patiently.

The blue-haired boy spread out one hand in a wave as Yuuji hesitated before heading for the door. "Thanks for coming over, Yuuji," he said. "I really enjoyed our time together."

"Yeah," said Yuuji, distracted. Suddenly everything felt like it was happening at a distance. Like he was living in the strange fugue state after awakening from a bad dream. All he could do was nod, and try to ignore the feeling of his spine being a concrete rod in his back. "Thanks for inviting me."

"Oh, boyyyys! Wait!" a voice shouted from the kitchen. Both of them froze as Nagisa's mother rushed in.

Hiromi Shiota looked at Yuuji with a beaming grin, one hand braced against the wall. "Just so you know, you're always welcome to come back and play again sometime, Yuuji," she said. "We loved having you here."

Nagisa gaped. He couldn't have looked more surprised if the roof had caved in. "Really, mom?"

"Of course!" Nagisa's mother chirped. "I love meeting my darling child's friends. It would be a pleasure to have you over in the future. Isn't that right, Nagisa?"

Yuuji stood, stunned. Slowly, his gaze drifted up past Nagisa, past Hiromi Shiota standing with one hand on her son's shoulder. There on the dining room table was the gift that he had brought, opened only on the top, where the price tag would surely be on full display.

Yuuji nodded, swallowing around what felt like sandpaper. He thanked the woman again and turned to leave.

As the door shut behind him, he wondered if he would ever come visit this house again.

Chapter Text

'…And then he told me, like, the Seibu Lions would totally beat the Giants in a match so I told him to…'

The walls here were glaringly white. Pristine. Silver lining traced around the sides of desks. The metal edging continued around the ceiling, the door, the teacher's table. At the front of the room, a SmartBoard from America hung for all to see. The entire space was flooded with light, courtesy of a row of large windows along one wall. Every inch of the room looked professional. Polished.

It was the people who were insufferable.

'Hey, Yuuji.'

Behind him, the chattering of the class slowly came back into focus. At a glance, it was obvious that the people here were split between students who wanted—no, needed—to be lawyers like their parents, and those who just wanted to party. The boys were in their winter uniforms. The girls all wore black jackets with red lining, along with plaid skirts that they all sneered at as "ugly" but wore anyway. Why not? It showed what school they went to.

Scattered conversation filled the air. Most of it seemed to be related to the new tech-gadget coming out soon, with a few of the students waving around advance copies. Some students sat on top of their desks to talk with friends. A small group of girls huddled to the side, snickering and whispering, acid lacing their every word. A few boys stood over by the windows. Two of them apparently had the same model watch, and from their corner the high sound of one whining over how the other was 'copying' him could be heard. Beyond all that, someone was complaining about how his parents were dragging him on a European vacation for some forced "family time". Ugh. How annoying.

"Yuuji!"

Yuuji jolted to attention, one knee hitting painfully against the bottom of his desk.

To his left, one guy was sitting backwards in a chair to face him. Another boy stood beside the first, his brown hair a tousled mess. Yuuji frowned. Eiji and Akihiro—two of his friends.

"Geez, man. Somethin' on your mind?" Eiji said.

Yuuji muttered a non-committal response. "I guess you could say that." He slumped back against the desk, resting his cheek on one hand.

"Aw, cheer up dude," said Akihiro. "I know! You're probably thinking about Yukiko, aren'tcha?" he grinned, referring to the most popular girl in class. "Man, you know it doesn't matter how much you swoon over her, she's not even gonna look at any of us. Too good for anyone, that little miss priss."

Eiji brought one arm up to elbow Akihiro in the stomach. The other boy shoved back, leading to a quick cycle of revenge between them. They continued on for a bit, adding in bits of bragging over accomplishments which may or may not have been made up.

Yuuji felt a flash of irritation. Usually, he would have joined in on the shoving. But now all he could think of was how asinine their behavior looked.

It was currently after-school cleaning time. Students were supposed to help by sweeping the classroom and wiping down the desks, but honestly no one here could be bothered.

Some of the lowest-tier members of the class were being forced to clean in everyone's stead. Those few students rushed around with their heads lowered, doing the chores quickly in an effort to just get it over with. Their job was made harder by some people purposefully undoing their work—brushing new eraser shavings onto the floor, or, like a few girls, tossing used gum into their hair.

Yuuji watched all of this pass with dead eyes.

Finally, the sound of the bell signaled the end of another school day. Yuuji had jumped out of his seat and was grabbing his stuff to go before the final chime had finished ringing.

Akihiro made a noise that sounded like 'woah'. Eiji called out, "Hey Yuuji, where you going?"

"I'm meeting someone today," Yuuji said, hoisting his bag over one shoulder.

His friends looked at each other for a moment, confused. "But don't we usually hit up the karaoke bar on the way home-"

"Sorry," Yuuji called, already half-way out the door. "I meant to tell you earlier."

After a short pause, he poked his head back inside. "And don't follow me."

Leaving his friends behind, Yuuji stepped down the school corridor. It was amazing how much everything changed; with that room closed off, suddenly he felt like he could breathe again. A tidal wave of students started to form behind him, spilling out from every classroom and staircase, but Yuuji was still ahead of the main flood.

He half-jogged down the hallway, following the light feeling in his chest.

After walking for a bit, Yuuji finally found himself away from the crowd. The kids from his school began to file away, their numbers growing thinner and thinner as they dispersed down side streets. Not many went down the same route that he took.

After a couple of twists and turns, drifting away from the main roads, a flash of blue told him that he had reached his destination. There under a far-away lamppost was Nagisa.

They greeted each other. Such pleasantries were familiar things between them by now. Yuuji took the chance to catch his breath, trying to hide from Nagisa how out-of-breath he had become. Dammit, why had he run so fast?

For a moment, Nagisa's eyes flicked over Yuuji. The boy smiled. "I think this is the first time I've seen you in your school uniform." He stifled what might have been a laugh. "So you really do go to that uber-rich academy."

Yuuji squirmed. He hated his school's clothes. The stereotypical straight, black button-down outfit that most secondary-schools used—how boring. But it was traditional. "Oh, hush," he huffed. "Your school's not so bad itself, you know."

He straightened his back. "Shall we go?"

Nagisa nodded.

The two of them set off. They walked a few blocks together, Nagisa falling into step beside Yuuji. The sound of their footsteps overlapped. A brick wall passed by endlessly on their left. The afternoon air hung crisp and clear. At no point did they meet each other's eyes. Against Yuuji's will, he began to sense an awkward silence growing.

Suddenly, Nagisa spoke. "Thanks for being willing to hang out again."

"Yeah, sure, of course," Yuuji said on automatic. "Why would I not-" Then his words stopped. He remembered the last time they had hung out. At Nagisa's house. His mother. Shoot.

The swing of Nagisa's arms caught Yuuji's eye, drawing his gaze down to the extra hairbands on the boy's wrists. Had those always been there? With a start, Yuuji realized that they probably had. He just never really noticed them before. Two in total, like perfect replacements in case the ones in Nagisa's hair snapped-

His stomach did a flip-flop.

Yuuji concentrated on the pavement in front of him. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to think about it. If he didn't acknowledge what he was remembering, it was almost as if it didn't exist.

What he thought had happened couldn't possibly have happened. It was just a dream, a misunderstanding, as he repeated to himself over and over. Everything already seemed farther away today than it had that night, and Yuuji had the sneaking suspicion that if it continued unacknowledged, pretty soon it would fade away completely. Yeah. That was a comfortable idea.

All he needed to do was pretend.

Beside him, Nagisa kept up with the pace. The boy walked with his head tilted up towards the sky, gazing at a flock of birds flying by overhead. Their black shapes fluttered and wheeled in the distance. Sensing Yuuji's gaze on him, he turned and gave a smile, and in that moment Yuuji saw.

Nagisa was just as young and innocent as ever. The light in his eyes was still there, sparkling for those who knew where to look. Whatever nightmare lay in that house, Nagisa was something different from it. It was a part of his life, but it did not define him.

Yuuji couldn't quite explain how he knew. But he had always been good at judging people's faces.

Yuuji let go of some of the tension in his shoulders. In silence, he looked up to watch the birds fly overhead as well.

A few minutes passed before the boy spoke again.

"Hey. Do you mind if I ask you something?" said Nagisa.

"Huh?"

Yuuji had started to relax, as per usual, the further away he got from school. He had unbuttoned his jacket and was now placing a baseball cap on his head after retrieving it from the depths of his school bag.

"What's with that hat? I always see you wearing it." Nagisa squinted at the label. "Those letters mean…New York? New Jersey? No, definitely New York, what am I saying?"

Yuuji glanced up at the brim, feeling the worn red fabric between his fingers. "Oh, yeah. Well…I guess you could say that it's important to me. I got it from my dad. Or, well, with my dad at least," he started to explain.

Nagisa nodded. "The TV show host."

"That's him. Anyway, every once in a while my parents will take me overseas. Sometimes both of my parents go, but usually just my dad. We've traveled to a lot of places. Mostly just America, though. New York is the capital of entertainment and culture, after all."

"I've got a bunch of stuff from New York—shirts, socks, armbands, you name it. All in different colors, too." Yuuji shrugged. "One time while we were in the city, I bought this off of some street vendor. Not the classiest, but hey."

He tapped the brim of the hat. "People ask about it. It lets them know where I've been." And it used to be good for picking up chicks, too, he thought silently. Foreign allure and all that.

"Anyway, my dad was there on business, but I was always his little tourist son. Last time we were there, I remember us going to places and waiting in filming lobbies, eating the strangest foods, and him showing me around news-stations, teaching me a bit about how it all worked. I even got to sit in on a real studio while we were there!" Yuuji said. He hardly noticed his voice picking up speed, the memories threatening to sweep him away. It felt almost like the images were passing in front of his eyes as he spoke of them.

"I saw the cameras in action, the lights all set up and everything, and the American reporters reading off of their scripts. It was awesome." Yuuji fell quiet for a second. "It's one of the few times I can remember actually having fun with the old man."

After another moment, he scoffed. "Parents. Even when they don't deserve it, you still want their approval, right?"

Nagisa was quiet by his side.

"I mean, I guess it's all you can really do as a kid," Yuuji muttered.

Then, a thought struck him. He turned to Nagisa and grinned. "Hey. Wanna switch parents?"

That got a reaction from the boy. "…What?" Nagisa said, eyes wide.

"I'm serious," Yuuji joked. "You can have a break from your mom, and I can get rid of that old fart for a while. It's a win-win."

"You really think that would work?"

Despite Nagisa's tone, Yuuji could see the boy trying to hide a grin. "Totally," he said. "Just picture it: parent swap, Tokyo edition. If reality-TV can do it, why can't we?"

Nagisa shook his head. "You wouldn't want my mom. She can be hard to get along with if you don't know her well enough-"

"I'd be happy to trade," Yuuji said all–too-quickly. "Er, just so I could get rid of my dad! Yeah."

He cleared his throat. "So," Yuuji spoke, "I'll take your mom. You can have my mother instead...she's pretty nice, I guess."

"Hmm... I don't know how she'd react to our house. We don't have much space, or a housekeeper to do any of the work. Does your mom cook?"

"Never cooked a day in her life."

Laughter from Nagisa. "Perfect."

Yuuji grinned in response. He formed a phone-shape with his hand and held it up to one ear, twirling another finger around in space to mean 'crazy'. "Hope you can manage the phone bill, too. She's a talker."

Nagisa nodded sagely, pretending to take notes. "I see, I see."

The boy tapped his chin in thought. "So you get my mom, and I get your dad. That doesn't sound too bad."

"You have no idea."

Nagisa shrugged. "I'm pretty sure I can handle it. Honestly, it might be fun to have a celebrity for a parent."

Yuuji made a face. "Ugh."

"Alright, alright!" Nagisa chuckled. "I get it. So, what should I look out for as the new heir to the Norita business?"

"Hey, I'm still the heir! You can just be, like, our houseguest. In another house."

"Makes total sense."

"Shush. Anyway, you don't have to do much. He'll come home when he comes home and that's it. He just sleeps in the house, that's all." Yuuji wiggled his eyebrows. "Just keep a fresh supply of coffee around the place and your new dad-machine will go out and putter around to his job automatically."

Nagisa laughed. "Sounds good. What happens when the coffee's gone?"

"I don't know and you don't wanna find out."

The conversation dissolved into laughter. It was hilarious to imagine their parents walking around each other's house with wide, confused eyes, like misplaced hamsters. Think of the amount of laundry that would get mixed-up. The kinds of foods they would scream about not being in the fridge. The adults smacking their foreheads against doorframes that they hadn't yet learned the heights of.

"Hmm." Yuuji frowned, once they had a moment. "I'm not sure if I wanna give you both my parents at once, though. That might be tough."

"I'm pretty sure your dad and my mom would get along well, actually," said Nagisa. "She'd love his status."

"Oh my god, they'd be two peas in a pod," Yuuji gasped.

"I know! Can you imagine?" Nagisa hid another burst of laughter behind one hand. "Him buying up a whole bunch of wine or something to impress her while she tries on all of the clothes in your family's closet."

"Maybe we should have them meet."

"No!"

The two of them passed the time this way, imagining how their parents would react to the swap and exchanging ideas on how best to handle them. Yuuji smiled at the sight of Nagisa's face looking open and free of worries. At least he had managed to take that woman away from Nagisa, even for a little bit. Even just as pretend.

Before they knew it, a major cross-street came into view ahead. Yuuji's heart sunk. That was where they had agreed to separate. For some reason, he hadn't wanted Nagisa to walk with him all the way to his house. Now he was regretting that choice.

They reached the edge of the street and stopped. Silence fell between them. Yuuji fidgeted for a second, not knowing what to do or say. This was it. Time to say g-

"You know, if you really want to help, you could get me out of the house more," Nagisa said. He gave a small smile when Yuuji looked at him, confused. He explained in a quiet voice, "She can't do anything if I say I'm only hanging out with friends."

Without another word, Nagisa nodded at Yuuji and turned away in farewell. The boy was halfway down the street before Yuuji could even blink, the blue tint of his hair slowly fading into the distance.

Yuuji spent a few seconds staring after where he had gone.

Then Yuuji gathered his belongings about himself and continued on down the road. He would walk the rest of the way alone. As he went, he sighed and looked up at the sky. There, framed by the thin red line of his baseball cap, was the flock of birds slowly fading from view. 'Get me out of the house', huh?

Hmm. That gave him an idea…

Chapter Text

It was the perfect plan.

Yuuji called late at night—late enough for the day to have wound down, but not quite late enough to interrupt anyone in the middle of a homework session. "Hey," he said, "wanna go out someplace this Sunday? I know a great youshoku restaurant around here."

"I'm sure you do." He could practically hear the grin in Nagisa's voice over the phone. "That's one of the advantages of knowing a food blogger."

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I really mean it. Will you, uh, go with me?"

There was a brief pause from Nagisa. "Hmm, I suppose," the boy muttered. "I guess I could use something to take my mind off of things…"

"What's that?"

"Nothing. Of course, Yuuji! I'd love to come."

It was settled, then. They made plans to meet at the restaurant on the following Sunday afternoon. By the time Yuuji hung up, his hands were shaking slightly.

This was so exciting! He even had the perfect excuse: If anyone asked, Yuuji could just tell them his birthday was this weekend. The best part was, it wasn't entirely untrue—the big day was coming up soon. So see, this wasn't a date, just…two friends hanging out together. Yeah. Nothing wrong with going out to celebrate with a friend.

Thoughts of the upcoming event kept making Yuuji burst out in a grin all throughout the week. Sometimes this would happen at the most inopportune moments, like during class time. He probably looked like he was way too excited about math problems.

Before Yuuji knew it, the day arrived.

Yuuji stood in the lobby of the restaurant, glad to have a reprieve from the weather outside. Brr. Maybe inviting someone out wasn't the smartest thing to do at this time of year. Mentally kicking himself, Yuuji hoped that Nagisa wouldn't stumble upon the same thought.

Once his fingers had been inside of his pockets long enough to start to thaw out, Yuuji began to get a bit worried. He brought one arm up to check his watch. Right on the hour. This was the time they had said they would meet.

Noise from the restaurant buzzed in a steady drone behind him. He waited a bit more.

Just when Yuuji was about to check his watch again, the door opened with a light ding.

Nagisa stepped in. His blue hair stood out like a cloud amidst the room's red-and-brown interior. The boy seemed out of breath, clothes rumpled slightly as if he had been pressed for time. "Sorry," he said with a breathy edge that made Yuuji forget all about the past few minutes. "Got caught up in something with my classmates. Thanks for waiting."

He nodded toward the main room. "Shall we?"

They went in. The two of them were seated within moments after Yuuji talked to the hostess.

Yuuji slid confidently into the booth opposite of Nagisa. He relaxed, limbs falling into easy poses. Ahh, finally. Places like this—or even more upscale—were his element. His heart was pounding, but not in that annoying thought-stealing way. He made eye contact with Nagisa and could actually still form words after. The familiar light sensation was back in his shoulders, but instead of making him nervous it just made Yuuji feel good. He lounged in the booth with ease. Yup, nothing strange about this—just two friends out on a celebration-date.

Now that Yuuji was feeling confident, everything came easier. He looked over the menu along with the boy across from him. A swirl of English names with descriptions in Japanese stared up at him. Let's see, there was spaghetti, omelette-rice, croquettes, hamburger dishes, tonkatsu…

To Yuuji's surprise, Nagisa actually corrected him when he read off the options. He found that the other boy could read the English with ease. Nagisa even pronounced some of it out loud upon request. He told Yuuji that, actually, almost none of this food was like how it was really cooked in Western countries. The styles and portion sizes were all different.

Yuuji's eyes widened in surprise. He shook his head. He couldn't believe that. Why was it called "western food", then? Nagisa shrugged, giving a small smile.

The time spent waiting for their orders was filled with talking, grinning, and posturing from Yuuji's end. He told Nagisa a bit more about his high school. The boy seemed fascinated with what equipment their classrooms had. He also asked a lot of questions about Yuuji's teachers, for some reason. Yuuji didn't see what the big deal was. Just because things were new and cool didn't automatically mean that they were the most effective.

As the minutes passed, Nagisa sat demurely opposite from Yuuji, sipping his drink. Yuuji's eyes caught on the motion of his lips for a moment before he was able to pull his gaze back to the boy's face. Hm, he did look rather feminine-

Yuuji shook his head. No. He had to shut down all thoughts like that. It just wasn't right. Not to mention, not true. Fortunately, with practice Yuuji was finding that making the switch was actually rather easy. He always saw Nagisa as a guy first now, even after seeing him for the first time in a while. Once you knew the truth, it was obvious. Yuuji felt a pang of guilt for ever thinking anything else.

He barely noticed when their food arrived. With all of the discussion and jokes they were having, Yuuji found himself more involved in the conversation than he thought he would be. His plate was half-empty before he even remembered what he was eating.

At one point Nagisa giggled and pointed across the table. There beside Yuuji was a notepad that he had taken from his bag and begun mindlessly jotting down notes on. Nagisa laughed and said something about Yuuji still being a junior gourmet. Yuuji's cheeks burned with embarrassment, and he almost began a flustered denial before he realized that Nagisa actually meant it as approval.

A soft trill went through Yuuji as he thought of Nagisa reading his blog. Come to think of it, he had complemented it at some other point, hadn't he? For a moment, Yuuji was glad that he hadn't abandoned that old webpage quite yet.

He finished jotting down a few more thoughts and put the notepad away. The main subject of today's meal was Nagisa, after all.

Eventually, the topic moved back to Western food and customs. Nagisa helped Yuuji with the pronunciation of a few words, writing on a napkin to demonstrate some spelling.

"You see? And then…"

"Right, right."

"So in this case…"

"Uh-huh. After that's a 'c', right? …No?"

"Nope. Now with that, we…"

"Well I know there's a silent 'e' at least…"

Nagisa moved the pen over paper, his voice picking up speed until its pace nearly matched his scribbling. Excitement danced across his face. The sight of it drew Yuuji's gaze off the table. He looked so happy.

At a good stopping point, Nagisa tilted the end of the pen, offering it toward Yuuji.

Yuuji hesitated. He didn't know why, but something in his chest started to sink when he looked at the pen. He looked away. It felt like there was a slight twisting in his stomach.

Of course, Nagisa noticed. "Hm? What's wrong, Yuuji?"

Yuuji shifted in his seat. "It's nothing," he mumbled.

"You sure?"

When had his hands curled into fists beneath the tablecloth? Yuuji found that he couldn't remember. "Hey, Nagisa," Yuuji said. "The reason why you were late today…it wouldn't have anything to do with that 'training' stuff, would it?"

Nagisa stiffened ever-so-slightly at his words. His gaze flicked to the side, as if checking that no one was listening. Eventually he nodded, a slight glint hidden deep in his eyes. "We've been preparing for something big, recently. After all, winter break is nearly here. There isn't much time…" he trailed off.

Yuuji leaned his head on one hand in order to hide a scowl. "Right. You're still on about that."

Nagisa shot him a look. Yuuji glanced away. He wasn't quite sure what to think of Nagisa's mysterious 'program'. If it weren't for having seen the things he saw, Yuuji would almost doubt its existence.

Across his line of sight, he spotted their waitress. The girl had just recently come by their table, gathering up their used dishes and politely inquiring into how the meal was. Now she was making her way back across the room, weaving in-between tables and stacking other empty plates upon her arms. They balanced there in expert arrangement—bowls stacked inside bowls inside of dishes inside dishes upon trays, piled in not just one but two places on her arms. She smiled at patrons to excuse herself, balancing on her tiptoes as she tried to squeeze between two tables-

Yuuji noticed the plates starting to slip before any thoughts could even register.

Suddenly there was a flash of white porcelain. The waitress gave a sharp little cry. Yuuji squeezed his eyes shut and braced for impact.

But there was none.

When Yuuji opened his eyes, the first thing he noticed was that Nagisa had disappeared. The boy was gone from his seat across the booth, the red velvet couch feeling empty and bereft in his absence. Dumbfounded, Yuuji turned back towards the main dining room.

There stood Nagisa gently holding the waitress in his arms. He had caught the young woman, one hand supporting her back while another expertly held the stacks of plates. Somehow they had transferred into his grip. He had even stretched out one foot to catch the salt-and-pepper shakers, kicking back to trap them against a table leg. From what Yuuji could see, his face was cold, passive—an expression of precise concentration.

It had all happened in an instant. Yuuji's jaw hung open, although he was dimly aware that he wasn't the only one in the room staring. To see Nagisa standing like that—poised, careful, with the waitress dipped down slightly…it was like something out of a picture book. He looked so…gallant.

Nagisa's expression softened. "Are you alright?" he asked the waitress. Innocence and concern were written all over his face. When he blinked, his eyes held nothing but openness and youth. It was a face that no one could doubt. He had no ulterior motive, surely—merely a young teen with an insane reaction time.

The waitress murmured yes. Her cheeks appeared to be a slightly pinker color than they had been before.

Nagisa flashed a smile. "Oh good. I'm glad."

He bent down to help gather up the saltshakers and scattered napkins. Already Nagisa seemed to be blending back into the rhythm of life, the mysterious air vanishing from around him.

In any other circumstance, the surrounding customers might have stared a little longer at this boy, might have remembered his remarkable actions for later. But when he bent down like that, bowing and apologizing, bumping his head against the table leg, glancing up at the waitress with an embarrassed laugh and eyes as round as a rabbit's, well…. All they did was nod in appreciation, mutter some words of awe, and return to their meals.

Yuuji watched as the customers around him slowly lost interest in the scene and turned away. Within a minute, normality had returned.

Soon, Nagisa returned to their table. Already the energy around him felt just like anyone else's—his docile demeanor had returned. "Phew." He smiled at Yuuji. "Glad those plates didn't drop. That would have been messy. Not exactly something you'd want to happen on a first date, right?"

"…" Yuuji did not reply.

Concern showed on Nagisa's face. "What's the matter?"

Yuuji tried to avoid answering, but soon figured it was futile.

Yuuji took a deep breath. "Nothing, just…" His hands gripped his knees beneath the tablecloth. He thought he finally knew what had been bothering him all this time. "Compared to you, I feel useless. I can't do anything cool, or helpful…"

The moment he said it, the dark thoughts in his head seemed to solidify. Shame tore Yuuji apart from the inside. He felt bad, and then hated himself for feeling bad, which in turn made everything worse. He wasn't used to this kind of sensation. With his parents' influence, and all the resources he could ever want, Yuuji rarely felt like he was a nobody. His fingers twitched with the urge to find some kind of bottle to close around, or maybe a cigarette. Anything to fill the void. At least then it wouldn't be full of pain.

Nagisa blinked at him from across the table. He held Yuuji in a thoughtful, steady gaze. "I don't think that's true," he said at last.

"You've done a lot to help people. More than you realize, in fact. My entire class is still really grateful for the school-festival incident. But even aside from that… Remember that…person we ran into in the warehouse?" Nagisa asked, his tone screaming the word 'assassin'. "Back then, you jumped in with no hesitation. Even though you were powerless, you were still willing to put yourself out there. Thanks to you, we were able to capture that man."

Nagisa gave a wry smile. "Well, I admit your involvement was rather…unplanned. But things turned out for the best."

"And then after that, you offered to help me," Nagisa said, shaking his head in disbelief. "Do you remember the things you said, Yuuji? You offered to help with anything you could, even when you barely knew the situation that I was in. That takes real courage." Nagisa pulled his drink close and took a sip. "Just because you haven't had any formal training doesn't mean you're useless, Yuuji. In fact, I think you're very brave."

Yuuji blinked. He stared at the other boy. His mind seemed to be still absorbing Nagisa's words, their sounds echoing on inside his ears. He felt each one as they hit and then spread, soaking through every part of his mind. Suddenly the darkness faded. The shame, the twisting feelings—it all retreated like clouds washed away by a gentle sunshine. If not forever, then at least for a little while.

Yuuji felt himself breathe again. His hands rested comfortably on his knees. A new fire of determination burned within him.

Now Yuuji knew what to do. If he could make Nagisa feel even half as good as his smiles made Yuuji feel, then he would be able to die happy.

"That's part of why I like you," Nagisa said.

Any reply Yuuji was going to make choked inside his throat. What? He couldn't have heard that right. He struggled to respond.

"Besides…"

"What?"

"Nothing." Nagisa shrugged. For a moment he looked almost saddened, his gaze staring unfocused out of the window to their right. "It's alright to stay normal, you know?"

The next few minutes passed by in silence, during which the last of their dishes were cleared away and Yuuji smoothly picked up the bill. When Nagisa tried to protest, Yuuji waved one hand dismissively, saying that since he had invited them out he should be the one to pay. It was no big deal. Honestly.

"How come you're always doing this?" Yuuji said softly afterward. His body still felt a little like it was walking on air. "Always making me feel better about myself?"

Beneath the table, his fingers fiddled with the fringe of his shirt. Was it so wrong to want to keep this light for himself? To hold it close?

"I'm not doing anything special," Nagisa said. "It's just the truth." Then he ducked his head slightly, as if embarrassed. "Besides, I just realized that I might have been trying to show off for you back there."

When Yuuji looked confused, Nagisa continued. "You know. Just now, during parkour practice, even at the warehouse…"

He fixed Yuuji with a look. "Any idea why that is?"

"Huh?"

"It's just that I don't usually try to impress people." Nagisa frowned. "Yet, with you... I want to impress you."

Slowly, it became apparent that it was time for them to leave. The two of them finished pulling on their jackets, arms sliding back into stiff sleeves. Nagisa settled his bag behind his back as Yuuji gathered up his own things. They stood and began making their way back across the dining room, Yuuji lingering behind for a moment to make sure their table was presentable.

When Yuuji glanced over, he saw a thoughtful look on Nagisa's face. The boy was clearly still bothered by something. Yuuji drifted closer for a moment, hoping that the physical comfort would act as a sign that he was still listening, that he cared.

"I really shouldn't do that, though," Nagisa mumbled, as if continuing their conversation. He looked down at his hands and turned them over and over. "My…skills are too important for me to treat them like toys."

Yuuji scoffed as they reached the door. He held it open for Nagisa to pass through. "You don't need to try to impress me. I think you're pretty cool all by yourself."

Though he couldn't be sure, Yuuji thought he caught the hint of a small, grateful smile as the boy ducked his head and brushed past. Nagisa pressed in close as they both went through the doorway.

Outside, the chilled air nipped at Yuuji's skin. The warmth from the restaurant faded away behind them, replaced by a cold made even crueler by the fact that their bodies weren't used to it yet. Yuuji hid a shiver. Beside him, Nagisa pulled his coat up around his neck. He turned to Yuuji and opened his mouth as if to speak-

"Yo, Yuuji! Is that you, man?"

Yuuji's stomach jumped violently. No. Oh no. What were the chances?

There, a few paces away, stood a group of his friends. They had stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, apparently either about to walk into the restaurant or continue on past it. Either way, there was no avoiding them.

"It is! I totally knew it," one of the guys crowed. "I'd recognize your ugly hat anywhere."

Yuuji gave a nervous laugh. "Haha, yeah. Fancy meeting you guys here."

In the front, Akihiro nodded. His gaze drifted over to the side. "Who's your friend?"

The group of them peered closely at Nagisa. Yuuji resisted the urge to squeeze his eyes shut, feeling his heartbeat starting to speed up. Please don't ask about Nagisa's gender, please don't ask about Nagisa's gender…

Finally, Eiji broke out in a grin. "Oh, I get it. You're out on that birthday celebration, right? Congratulations again."

"Hey, congrats!" Some of the other boys joined in.

"The big sixteen!"

"Finally made it!"

"You should have invited us, Yuuji," one of them whined.

"Sorry, sorry." Yuuji held up his hands to apologize. "This is just a little thing, so I didn't think you'd care. I mean, we usually go out and do something much better among ourselves, so-"

"Oh, true."

"Yeah, take us out later," one person piped up. "Clubbing's on you, birthday boy!"

Another boy laughed. "Yeah, make sure to drink something good to celebrate!"

To the side of Yuuji, Nagisa had drifted away slightly. The distance felt bitterly cold between them. "Oh," Nagisa said, voice like ice. "A birthday outing. Is that what this was? Just a casual meal. Nothing more."

Yuuji felt panic run through his limbs. "Um, yes?" he squeaked, eyes flicking towards his friends.

Nagisa was deathly quiet.

After a few more short exchanges with Eiji and the rest of the group, Yuuji waved goodbye to his friends. The group sauntered off down the street. Right before they disappeared from view, one of the boys leaned back and winked at Yuuji, raising his fingers up to his lips in mimicry of drinking, reminding him to consider their advice.

Yuuji and Nagisa stood for a while in awkward silence.

Eventually, Yuuji offered to walk Nagisa home. The other boy accepted with a nod. The walk back together was done in complete silence, with neither of them saying a word. The gray of the city hung all around them in stifling stillness.

At last, they reached the Shiota family's doorstep.

Yuuji scratched the back of his head. For some reason, it felt like he should say something. "Hey, um…" he started. "Look, Nagisa, I don't know what-"

"It's fine," Nagisa interrupted. "Sorry for misinterpreting things."

He walked up to the house and slipped inside, pulling the door shut behind him. Just before it closed, he paused to call out, "Have fun going out later with your other friends."

The door slammed.

Yuuji was left alone on the front porch. He flinched at the slamming noise as if he had been struck. When he next opened his eyes, the white slab in front of him looked more like a concrete barrier.

Eventually he turned and left, wobbling on his feet as if walking on broken glass. His shoulders slouched. The world was just such a confusing place.

Yuuji's head whirled with something that he knew was disappointment. He didn't understand. His "totally-not-a-date" plan had worked, so…

So then why did he feel so sad?

Chapter Text

He had really done it this time.

Yuuji ran. His breath came in short, controlled bursts, scraping at the inside of his throat. He glanced around, looking this way and then that, his eyes ever-searching. It was all gray. Gray. Nothing. Each step beneath him pounded hard against the concrete. Even so, his pace was less a full-out sprint and more like a hurried search.

This place was in the middle of a series of alleys, not too far from the main streets but still relatively secluded. Trash bags lay waiting on the corners. They were so bedraggled and dirty they almost looked like black boulders instead. Old, faded and ripped posters hung in rags on the walls.

"Oh c'mon, Nagisa!" Yuuji shouted. He was still moving, arms swinging as he searched, glancing down every corner. "I was just joking!"

He had tried to have a talk with the boy. He had tried to make things right. Yuuji knew that he had. He managed to get Nagisa alone, not too far from here, and had begun talking. But—as usual—luck wasn't with him. One thing led to another, one misunderstanding made worse by another before it, and soon Nagisa wasn't interested in hearing anything at all.

Nagisa had run away. He took off down this street, down this set of corridors, sticking to the side with the most pipes. If Yuuji had to guess, probably so he could use his awesome powers to escape.

Yuuji ignored the sudden mix of anger and worry that shot through him. Regret scorched the inside of his chest. He hadn't meant to make Nagisa angry! He had just…made a mistake. Yuuji agonized. This was their first real fight, too. He tried to picture what it would be like if Nagisa never talked to him again, and found that he didn't want to know. Hopefully things wouldn't change for the worse between them. Oh please, oh please, oh please…

"Nagisa," he called for the hundredth time. Yuuji turned around in a circle. He was nearly out of the alleyways now, and still nothing. He scowled and shaded his eyes with one hand in order to look up at the rooftops. Dammit, Nagisa must be around here somewhere.

Suddenly there came the sound of thumping on his right. It was rhythmic like footsteps, coming down hard as if in anger. Yuuji sprinted towards it without thinking.

Down that side street, a board stood leaning against a storage house wall, its wooden body quivering slightly. The faint outline of a footprint had been pressed into it. Yuuji looked up. A horizontal bar stretched out halfway across the open top of the alleyway.

"Nagisa," Yuuji called again, more out of relief than anything. "I know you're up there."

No response.

Yuuji paced around the side of the building, trying to find any way up. "Come down already! I just want to talk to you."

And he would talk, he thought to himself. He would do better than last time, not make the same mistakes, or make any excuses. All he wanted to say was 'I'm sorry'…

The rooftop was still. But Yuuji could picture Nagisa up there, as real a presence as if he were standing next to Yuuji right now. He imagined the boy curled up in a corner, face set into a frown, quiet and still enough to fool anybody with training, but not someone who really knew him.

"Nagisa!" Yuuji shouted. "Come back-" He broke off, out of breath.

A soft voice drifted from above. "Go away."

Sweet relief flared through Yuuji. Hmph. So he was up there. Well, that settled it. Yuuji turned around, scanning the nearby area. He needed to get on top of that roof.

A telephone pole next to the building caught his eye. Yuuji stared at the mast. He looked back toward the storage house. He swallowed. There was no other way, was there?

Yuuji went up to the pole and placed one hand on it. The beam was made of old steel, with bolts and metal plating placed at certain intervals. The texture was rough, but at least that might offer him a good grip. He cast another look at the top of the building. It appeared to be about five meters in height.

Yuuji steeled himself, taking off his jacket and tying it around his waist. He adjusted his backpack to a comfortable angle. Then he slowly counted to three and wrapped his hands around the pole. He was all too aware of how weak his arms had felt in the past.

Weak.

Powerless.

Useless.

He took a deep breath and pulled.

Yuuji's feet scrabbled for purchase. After a few terrible, heart-pounding seconds, they lodged on the edge of one metal plate. Yuuji gasped, feeling blood rush through his ears. But he had made it. He was holding steady.

He managed to scooch up a few centimeters before the fear struck him. Oh, right. Heights.

Yuuji's stomach swooped at the very thought of the word. The world around him started to tilt. For every millimeter he had climbed, an awful void seemed to pull at him, dragging him down to join it back where he belonged. What would it be like, he wondered, his limbs taken over by weightlessness, flailing like tissue paper as he plunged, plunged endlessly, but not for very long?

Yuuji's mind raced. His mouth was suddenly uncomfortably dry. How tall was five meters, anyway? Enough to kill a human if they dropped? Enough to break a bone? Break two?

Thoughts like these were part of what led Yuuji to make the mistake of looking down. He pressed his face back against the pole and closed his eyes to stop the ensuing vertigo.

It wasn't very far off the ground, but already Yuuji was almost too scared to jump off. Thoughts flashed unbidden through his head. They just wouldn't stop. Yuuji imagined how the impact would be, shocking through his legs, then crumpling his knees, but before that, the horrible plummeting sensation, yes, always the fall-

A bead of sweat ran cold down Yuuji's neck. His hands shook around the pole, though luckily not from fatigue just yet. Maybe there was another way. Maybe there was a convenient stack of crates just beyond the building, on the other side…

The words that he needed to say flashed again through his mind. Yuuji gritted his teeth and started to climb.

Nagisa sat alone on top of the roof.

He was curled up in a corner, knees to his chest and arms wrapped tightly around them like a barricade. One hand clenched into a fist. On his face was a permanent frown. His cheeks swelled as he pouted. Stupid. Stupid. Everything was just so stupid.

Nagisa laid his head upon his knees. Anger mixed within him and gave way to sadness. How long could he keep this up? He couldn't stay here forever. Although, when he glanced over to the neighboring rooftops, he realized that he could probably form an escape route easily.

Nagisa sighed again. Keeping this up was exhausting.

He drew aimlessly in the dirt beside him. It was a dumb thing to do, anyway, he reflected, coming up here just because he knew that Yuuji couldn't follow. God, how petty could you get?

"Hey, Nagisa!"

And there he was, at it again. Nagisa felt like mumbling to himself. Didn't that guy ever learn?

"Nagisa!"

Nagisa glanced up. Then his eyes went wide. He jumped out of his pose, arms and legs flying open.

There was Yuuji, hugging the telephone pole with a death grip just beyond the rooftop edge, shaking and trembling and looking more terrified than he had ever been in his entire life.

"Yuuji?!" Nagisa exclaimed, his voice shooting high with worry. "What are you doing?"

A nervous grin came onto Yuuji's face. "I-I-I wanted to s-s-say th-that I-I-I'm s-s-so-s-so-sorr-"

"Forget about that! Get down from there, it's dangerous!"

Yuuji's grip shifted. "I-I-I don't think I can…"

"What? Hold on, I'll…I'll do something!"

Nagisa did do something. He ran in circles, sprinting to one end of the roof before appearing to second-guess himself and run toward the other, only to realize that whatever miracle he was seeking didn't lay there either. He called out advice, giving desperate instructions that only caused the other boy to wobble slightly whenever he tried to obey.

Meanwhile, Yuuji slipped down a few millimeters every second.

"AAAAH!"

"AAAAH!"

The sound of their screams melded together beneath the clouded sky.

They lay sprawled together at the bottom of the pole afterwards, panting.

The cool ground felt good against Yuuji's back. Especially so given that he hadn't plunged down onto it, but had flopped down of his own free will instead. His arms shook. Nagisa seemed similarly exhausted.

"You…" Nagisa gasped. "You're terrified of heights, aren't you?"

Yuuji gave a breathless nod. "Yeah," he managed at last. "Isn't everyone?"

A moment of silence passed, just long enough for the words 'most people' to float invisible through Yuuji's mind.

"And yet…" Nagisa sat up. "You did it anyway. You climbed that. For me."

After a few moments, Nagisa gave a sigh. "Alright. What did you want to tell me?"

Yuuji swallowed. A leaping nervousness was back in his throat. Here went nothing. "I wanted to say that I'm sor-"

"Stop," Nagisa cut him off. "I get it. You're forgiven."

Yuuji paused. "Oh."

Minutes slid by while the two of them slowly returned to calm.

"So, we're good now?" Yuuji asked timidly.

Nagisa sighed through his nose. The expression on the boy's face looked as if he were searching deep inside himself, looking for something to be angry over or something else that needed to be said. But he found nothing. "Yeah," he stated. "We're good."

Yuuji's head fell back against the concrete in relief.

Nagisa swatted at his leg. "But no more climbing telephone poles, you hear?"

In response, Yuuji just gave a weak thumbs-up.

Chapter Text

Days had gone by. Again.

It wasn't like Yuuji was really counting, but he knew time was passing all the same. School, traveling on the train, home, traveling, friends, school, home, school, school… it all mixed together in a blur. Sometimes infinitely fast, sometimes achingly slow, one sunrise melted into another until it achieved the rhythm of the eons themselves. It was only when Yuuji bothered to look up that he realized not much had actually happened during those short periods.

Somehow, it almost felt as if he was marking his days by how often a certain boy appeared in them.

…But really, this winter felt like it was lasting forever. The air held a biting chill, although at least people were finally dressing for the depths of the season, in thick fashionable coats and scarves. Cheerful holiday decorations hung behind windows speckled with frost. The wind carried with it a scent of broken wheat-stalk, blowing into the Tokyo suburb from the fields located to the west.

And Yuuji stared down at a message on his phone.

Yuuji, Im sorry to be so sudden, but are you available? if you're free i could rly use your help. Don't worry. It's nothing big. If OK, plz text back and meet me at—

It then listed an address.

Yuuji ran his finger absentmindedly over the buttons along the side of his phone. He must have read every single word of the text message over and over by now, so why was he still staring at it?

He shrugged and put the phone away, already getting the feeling that he had made a decision. Honestly, Yuuji was surprised that there was something—anything—that Nagisa would need his help for, but Yuuji wasn't about to say no.

He was nearby, anyways. It was winter break now, during that weird timeframe in the few days after Christmas but before the hustle and celebration of New Year's. Yuuji had already given his parents the excuse of going out to do some shopping-related stuff, so he supposed he could stop by Kunugigaoka on his way back. Besides, it would be nice to be in Nagisa's cozy-looking neighborhood again.

And so Yuuji found himself here.

As Yuuji made his way down the familiar paved road, the tan sides of fences scrolled by on either side. Rows of pleasant, two-story white buildings lay just beyond them. Yuuji glanced around for a moment before facing ahead again. It was incredible how he had begun to become intimately familiar with these streets just over the past few weeks. Why, there was the magnolia tree peeking out over the top of the neighbor's fence. Beyond that down the street, two lampposts. Yuuji strolled confidently past them. Yes, he knew where he was. He was nearly to Nagisa's house-

A loud thud and a blur came immediately on his left.

"WAUGH!" Yuuji jumped, limbs jolting as if they had been struck by lightning.

A teenage boy crouched there just behind the lip of a nearby corridor, having dropped down under the cover of shadow. He stood, stretching out his legs with care. His eyes were a pale blue, and his hair was the color of the sky. "Shh," said Nagisa, holding one finger to his lips in response to Yuuji's shout. "Sorry. I kinda got started without you."

"Nagisa," Yuuji breathed, feeling his heartbeat race and then slowly start to settle back to normal. One hand stayed frozen up where he had raised it. "You startled me."

The other boy shrugged. "Sorry," he said again.

For some reason, Yuuji's eye caught on a bit of dirt on the shoulder of Nagisa's jacket. The cream-colored material was thick enough to guard against the season, but it showed a smattering of dust across the sleeves and edges. Some soot was smudged on the boy's cheeks as well. Was it just Yuuji's imagination, or did Nagisa look a bit…ragged?

Yuuji cleared his throat. He dug out his cellphone and held it up. "So, what's the trouble? Your message sounded kind of serious."

Nagisa frowned. "Nah, it's nothing too important. It's just…" He scratched the back of his head. "Well, I need help finding a lost cat."

Yuuji blinked. "A cat?"

"Yeah," said Nagisa. "The two old ladies on my block asked me to find it. The thing's been missing for five days now, and they're getting worried."

"Old women, huh? Are those the same two you've told me about before?" Yuuji grinned and brought a teasing edge to his voice. "My, aren't you popular with the ladies—even old ones!"

Nagisa grumbled. "Stop it."

"Anyway, the cat's name is Tubbs," Nagisa began to explain. "He's huge, and fat, with all-white fur. He's a shorthair. And he's got a thin collar around his neck. That's how you'll know it's him. Given the size of him he can't have gotten far, but that cat seems to have a talent for appearing and disappearing from places."

Yuuji swallowed as he listened. Silently, his mind flashed to old memories. A cat? That meant coughing. That meant a stuffy, runny nose coupled with gross sneezing, and itchy eyes that just wouldn't quit. It meant feeling miserable for the better part of three days. A cat meant-

He shook himself. "Pet searching, huh?" said Yuuji. "I mean, I guess I've got some time. Dunno why you'd call me for it, though."

Nagisa shrugged. "All my friends are busy at the moment. I could use an extra set of eyes. And…I don't know. I wanted to see you." He looked off to the side.

A silent bell went off inside of Yuuji's head. He frowned for a moment. Something was up. Nagisa kept his gaze aimed away, with both hands stuffed deep inside of his pockets. The boy's shoulders were lowered. In fact, his entire frame seemed to be less energetic than usual.

"What's wrong?" Yuuji said.

Nagisa's eyes came to meet his for a second, but the look was fleeting. "It's just…a lot of things have been happening lately," the boy said at last. "It makes me feel like I should keep better tabs on the people that I care about."

The two of them let the statement fade away into silence.

"I'm not sure what I should do," Nagisa muttered. "What ways could we use to get that cat? We could drive it into a corner, or try to set a trap... Maybe think ahead and figure out what it might do next… Or determine what it knows how to do, what its abilities are, then work around that… There's always the possibility of calling others in to help, but I really feel like it's our responsibility at this point… Whatever we do, it has to happen quick."

Confusion kept Yuuji rooted to the spot. It almost didn't sound like Nagisa was talking about an animal anymore. "I don't get it," he spoke up from the sidelines. "Isn't it just a cat? I mean, all we have to do is find the darn thing, right?"

Nagisa glanced up, surprised. He slowly blinked back to normality. "Oh… Yes," he said, still staring at Yuuji as if the clouds had suddenly parted behind the boy.

Nagisa shook his head to clear it. "Anyway, I'll search above. You take below. I'll try to look into some garages while I'm at it. Maybe Tubbs got stuck in something."

Yuuji nodded, deciding not to ask how Nagisa planned to search peoples' garages. "Just one condition."

He pointed up at Nagisa with a finger. "If we find that thing stuck high up a tree somewhere, you're the one getting it down."

At last, the worry fled from Nagisa's face as the boy laughed.

They parted, Nagisa trotting off out of sight with a little wave. Yuuji waved back, then set his arm down by his side and stood. The street was motionless all around him.

Yuuji gave a little stretch. Well, might as well get started. Hopefully this wouldn't take more than an hour or two. He did have to get home eventually…

As Yuuji walked, peering into all nearby corners, crevices and corridors, he tried to ignore the slight prickle of shame within his heart. Nagisa had wanted him specifically? No way. Yuuji had to be the least brave, least capable person on the face of the earth. But if Nagisa wanted him to be…

Yuuji straightened his back. Then he would try!

Nagisa might have had the advantage with his speed, mobility, and for all Yuuji knew, formal investigation training. But Yuuji had his own secret weapon now: motivation.

Wouldn't it be great, he thought as he jogged down side streets, if he found the cat before Nagisa did, with the boy's literal junior-soldier-in-the-making skills? The thought sent a surge through Yuuji's limbs. He looked up, down, and all around while he searched. Now he felt doubly inspired.

After peering into every nook and cranny, standing on tiptoe to inspect low rooftops, and knocking over a few of the neighbor's flower pots, Yuuji ended up scouring a good amount of the neighborhood. But the journey was littered with false starts. In fact, Yuuji would have passed right by the trash pile if he hadn't been determined to be so careful.

It was just a small rubbish heap, barely more than a few bags set out for collection, pressed up against the wall and bordered on one side by a pole. Yuuji eventually found the darn cat wedged in there, behind a misplaced piece of cardboard and some bricks. If Yuuji got down on his hands and knees, squinted, and used his phone as a flashlight, he could just see a large blob of white fur. The cardboard had created a nice little pocket protected from the rain, and a cat was looking quite comfortable sitting there nestled on top of a gigantic cushion—some kind of square piece of foam. From what Yuuji could see, the cat had crumbs beneath its self-satisfied smile and chin.

Yuuji brought his attention away from the trash pile for a moment. The pavement was a textured slab beneath his palms. He took a deep breath. "Oh boy…" Yuuji muttered.

He struggled down onto his belly, elbows shifting roughly against the ground. Yuuji held his breath as he reached in, trying not to inhale any of the cat's fur. The cat cracked open one amber eye to stare at Yuuji warily. It didn't do anything. Just watched him.

At last Yuuji relented, exhaling a puff of air. His hand fell flat, empty. He didn't like the way this cat seemed to not be afraid of him. Maybe there was a back way out of this trash heap. Maybe the cat knew it could use that to escape if it felt threatened. Then he might never see it again. Yuuji's blood ran cold. After all the boastful thoughts that he had been entertaining earlier, Yuuji didn't think he would be able to handle embarrassment at that level.

No, reaching in to grab the cat was out of the question.

Yuuji huffed. He sat down outside of the trash pile and began to think. He was all but certain that this was the cat they were looking for. The description checked out.

Well, if that cat was so comfortable, then it was no wonder it hadn't moved. Yuuji's mind churned. Let's see, what did cats need? He didn't have much experience with felines, honestly. His family had never owned one, although he had begged and cried for a pet as a kid. But, nope. Couldn't happen. Not with the allergies for both him and his mom.

The thing was an animal, right? So it must need warmth, Yuuji reckoned, judging by how the cardboard box was set up and how even humans were reminded of their need for heat in this weather. It needed shelter too, which the damn thing already had. Then what could he use? Entertainment? Yuuji frowned. He might be able to fashion his jacket sleeves into a cat toy, but that lardass didn't look like it was fond of moving at all. Water? It could have gotten that from the rain. Stupid animal wouldn't even need to stick its head out too far to find a puddle.

Yuuji brought one hand up to his chin. What was he missing? It felt like he was overlooking something very basic…

The cat yawned. Yuuji's gaze flickered back for half a second, drawn by the movement. For the briefest of moments, he caught sight of crumbs as they fell from the animal's immense chin…

A thought hit Yuuji like a falling brick.

Food! Of course! The most important requirement of all. Yuuji scanned the nearby area. Luckily the cat didn't seem to have any snacks in there at the moment, and Yuuji could see no obvious food sources nearby. And even if you did have some food, you could always use more, right?

Yuuji shifted around to reach for his bag. Flipping open the main flap, he dug out a snack bar. He had been saving this for later, but it was still relatively fresh. Slowly, he stepped away from the main entrance to the animal's den, sneaking out of its line of sight. Then he opened the snack bar, making sure to crinkle the wrapper loudly on purpose.

Yuuji couldn't tell, but he liked to imagine the cat's ears twitching slightly.

Just before he put the snack bar down, Yuuji paused. He took off his outer jacket and laid it over the pavement. He placed the bar on top of the black material, crinkling the wrapper even more so that the granola spilled out. Then he quietly pulled back behind the trash bags, and waited.

And waited.

As it turned out, animals were supremely careful creatures. Yuuji waited so long that his knees began to hurt from where he was crouched, but he didn't give up. Nagisa was surely doing much harder things out there. Nagisa was surely doing much more, and probably with much more endurance too. Even if this was all that a normal person could do, Yuuji could at least do it well. That was all he was capable of.

At last, just when Yuuji thought he might have to risk startling the animal out, the cat eventually moved. It exited, dolloping out of the entrance to its hideaway with languid, measured steps. It was like watching a living marshmallow. The cat galumphed over to the snack bar like a fuzzy avalanche, belly swinging. Once on top of the jacket, it lowered its head and began to eat.

Yuuji sprung at once.

He leapt forward in a flash and scooped up the edges of his jacket. The sleeves all came together in his hands, forming a makeshift net. The cat inside gave an indignant yowl, and Yuuji could hear the sounds of claws puncturing through the expensive material. Yuuji squeezed his eyes shut. That was gonna be pricey to replace. But that didn't matter. The important thing was that he had caught it.

A grin came to Yuuji's face as triumph burst through his chest. "Haha, that's what you get!" he exclaimed, pumping one fist in the air as crumbs of granola filtered out of the holes in his jacket. "The ingenuity of humans is unstoppable!"

Yuuji took a moment to look inside the bag. It was as if he wanted to make sure that the animal was really there. One yowl and a flash of fur later, he pulled back. Achoo. Achoo. Achoo. Yuuji closed his eyes as sneeze after sneeze rocked him, but still he did not let go of the makeshift bag.

Oh god, Yuuji blinked the tears from his eyes. Allergies.

He fumbled around for his phone. Thank every single god in existence, he had left it in his back pocket and not inside his jacket somewhere. "Nagisa?" he sniffed after the boy picked up on the second ring. "Yeah, I found him."

Nagisa blinked. "That's Tubbs."

"I figured as much," Yuuji groaned.

Nagisa had met him back at the corner where they had joined up originally, running this time instead of jumping down from a building like some kind of undercover superhero. His face was stained with dirt, showing that he really did have the skills to go where he said he was going. Yuuji didn't even want to think about the kinds of places he had crawled into.

"You actually managed to do it," Nagisa said, voice betraying a hint of admiration. He inclined his head slightly in recognition. "Even though I was searching so many places, you still found the cat before I even got close. I mean, you were sorta in the right place at the right time, but still. I'm impressed."

Yuuji nodded, feeling a slight buzz of happiness. That was it—the words Yuuji had wanted to hear. Maybe later, when he could think past the growing stuffiness in his nose, he would be able to get more excited about them.

A bundle of fur squirmed against his chest. Yuuji was currently holding the cat semi-wrapped in his jacket, supporting the black-and-white mess with both arms. He had been worried about the cat not getting enough air inside of the makeshift-sack. Plus, this way it seemed like the creature would be more comfortable and less likely to run. Maybe. Yuuji didn't have a freakin' clue how cats worked.

But as the moments passed by, Yuuji was starting to regret his choice. The animal lazed in his arms, a lump of lard, getting heavier by the moment. Yuuji shifted on his feet, trying to hide the motion from Nagisa. Was it possible for a cat to actually increase its own gravity after time?

Yuuji sniffed roughly. Augh, allergies. C'mon, keep it cool… He looked straight ahead and tried to keep his breathing steady, no matter how much his throat burned or his eyes began to itch.

"Well, here you go," Yuuji said, motioning for Nagisa to take the cat from him. Please. Please take the cat from him. "See? It didn't have to be anything militaristic. It was just a search-and-rescue mission."

Nagisa nodded silently. He accepted the bundle with open arms, holding the cat securely so that it wouldn't escape. "If you say so," he mumbled. Yuuji noticed that his gaze was slightly downcast, and Yuuji couldn't help but feel a sinking in his own heart at the morose tone in the boy's voice. His blue hair hung down over his eyes.

Nagisa held the cat securely to his chest. "For a moment, I thought we would never see him again," Nagisa muttered. "Imagine what might have happened if we hadn't found him in time. What if we had been just a few days late? He might have been hunted, or starved or been eaten, or wandered off somewhere. Or other people could have taken him to a shelter, where he would have been put down…"

Yuuji stood, confused. He didn't see what the big deal was. They had found the blasted cat, hadn't they?

Nagisa was quiet as he buried his fingers into the cat's soft fur. Then, he suddenly spoke. "Hey, Yuuji…"

"Hm?"

"What would you do if you just found out something very important about a person? Like, you thought that you knew them, but now… Everything's different." Nagisa sighed. "I mean, you're both still friends, but you can't quite look at them in the same way. Your…your entire view on them is shifted. And something has to happen, but you don't know what would be the right thing to do, or how to go forward with them anymore…"

A few moments passed in silence. The mood seemed to darken a little more with each heartbeat, sinking down until it reached a low point and just hovered, thick, at the level of bog mist. A flash of regret was starting to show in Nagisa's face, and Yuuji opened his mouth to speak before the other boy could tell him 'nevermind'.

"I don't see what the big deal's about."

Nagisa looked up sharply.

"I mean, we found the blasted cat, didn't we?" Yuuji said, pointing to the creature. "So now none of that bad stuff can happen to him. It's not even a possibility. We saved him, and now we get to move on according to that path."

Yuuji tilted his head to one side. "Does it really have to be all about the cat dying? Why not focus on saving it instead?"

"And as for that person you're talking about…" Yuuji sniffed and swallowed a cough. "I would encourage you to stick to your dreams. Be positive, and all that jazz. You're good at that. Whatever secret that person had, you should be even better friends now that you know about it, right? I mean, if they're still worth associating with, that is…"

"Besides, if the person you're talking about is really so important, then you gotta stand up for them, right?" Yuuji continued. "I mean, you and your classmates are something super-impressive. You guys have skills and stuff that I don't even know about. So if it's you, I'm sure that you can do anything."

He paused for a moment before continuing. "And honestly, if they're someone who inspires you, Nagisa, then they must really be worth fighting for."

Silence fell while Nagisa just stared at Yuuji in awe. Then, slowly, a relaxed look came to the boy's face. His expression lightened and then settled back to normal, giving just a glimpse of how he used to be. "Yeah…" Nagisa said. His voice sounded reassured. "I think you're right, Yuuji. They sure are…"

Suddenly a change seemed to come over him. Nagisa gasped sharply. "Yuuji, what did you say earlier?"

"Huh?"

"Earlier. What you said."

"Oh." Yuuji's mind whirled with the effort of recalling. "Uh, I said a lot of things."

"About finding the cat."

Yuuji's face twisted in confusion. "Um… 'search-and-rescue mission'?"

Nagisa stared at him for two seconds, but judging by the slightly glassy look in Nagisa's eyes, the boy was not really seeing him. Yuuji could almost picture the gears beginning to move inside his head.

"Thanks, Yuuji! I need to go talk to some people." Nagisa shouted over his shoulder as he turned. He ran off, breathless with excitement.

"What? Oh… You're welcome," Yuuji said, raising one hand in farewell before a certain realization struck him. "Uh, hey, wait!" he called. "My jacket!"

With an almost audible screech, Nagisa put on the brakes and jogged back. He handed the jacket over to Yuuji, somehow managing to transfer the clothing into Yuuji's hands while moving the marshmallow cat into his own without disturbing the creature. He smiled once more at Yuuji, grin flashing bright as the sun. Then Nagisa jogged away, a fluffy white tail poking out from behind his elbow.

Yuuji stared after the boy, struggling to process what had just occurred. But he couldn't stop an amused smile from coming to his face. Well, at least the worry had cleared up from Nagisa. Whatever he was concerned about appeared to have been addressed.

Yuuji looked down at his jacket, now pinpricked with holes and covered in white bits of fur. He could only imagine the immune system reaction if he put it on. And it was a long way away from home.

His eyes teared up, though whether due to emotion or the coldness or allergies he couldn't tell. Why? he thought.

He would give anything to not be normal.

Chapter Text

Nagisa's clear blue eyes stared down at him, startling in their intensity. "Say it," he instructed. "Out loud. You know what this means. What the two of us have..."

Yuuji chewed his bottom lip. The wheels turned in his head, as palpable as two gears grinding together. He focused hard, pushing through the thick fog of confusion that threatened to keep him from making any progress. At last, he took a breath and spoke. "The denominator."

Nagisa hid a small sigh. "Not quite. You're almost there, though. Let's try it again."

The tension in the air eased slightly. Yuuji made a muffled noise of disappointment, pencil hanging from between his lips. His head rested in his hands while he stared down at the worksheet before them. Nagisa shifted on his right, opening up a pencil case and digging around inside of it for some new eraser or pen. It was a precious few-seconds-long break. Desperate to think about anything else, Yuuji let his mind wander, his thoughts slowly floating back to remember why Nagisa was here…

Ding-dong.

The sound echoed down the hall. Bouncing between empty walls and impeccably arranged furniture, the chime of the doorbell pierced through the silence before fading off down the corridor.

Soon afterwards it was followed by the noise of Yuuji's pounding feet.

Yuuji careened down the staircase, stretching one arm out to use the momentum to propel himself around the banister. His socks slid on the floor, but with a few quick footsteps he managed to gain traction. Then there was carpet beneath his feet and he was at the main doors. Yuuji paused to take a breath, the cool metal of the handle resting for a moment in his palm.

He was pretty sure he had never opened the door so quickly in his life.

Nagisa was there, standing on the porch. As the door opened the boy looked down to meet Yuuji, having apparently been staring up at the entryway of the house. He was bright-eyed, with his hair done up in familiar pigtails. Bandages covered some scrapes and scratches on his cheeks, haphazard as if he had slapped them on as an afterthought. "Hi!" he chimed.

Nagisa's eyes stretched even wider after Yuuji let him inside. "It's so big," he said, gazing around. His attention caught on the decorations displayed on the walls, the lights hanging from the ceiling. He seemed to be fascinated by all sorts of little details. "I've never seen a place like this before. The walls are like, three times my height. And you've got so much space!"

Yuuji frowned. He glanced around himself. Tables, vases, and hallways that stretched on way too long along with a sweeping staircase that reached down to their current location. Really? He never thought his house was anything special. Well, maybe it was relatively high-class, but after living here for years you got used to it. Honestly, it could still be a hell-hole.

And yet there was Nagisa, staring at the nearby paintings and digging his feet into the carpet as if it was the first time he had ever felt something like it in his life.

"Echo!" Nagisa called out suddenly, listening to his voice reverberate down the hall. Then he slapped a hand over his mouth. "Whoops, sorry," he muttered to Yuuji. "I didn't mean to disturb. Are your parents home?"

"Nope." Yuuji shrugged.

He could see from the confusion on the other boy's face that a little more information was needed. "They're both still working," Yuuji explained. "Won't be back 'til late. You know, the usual."

"Oh. Okay." Nagisa smiled. "I'll just say this to you instead, then." He bowed his head politely. "Thank you for letting me stay over tonight."

Yuuji waved one hand in dismissal. "No, no, it's no trouble," he assured. "Besides, I still have to pay you back for that one sleepover at your place." Then his gaze wandered up and back, glancing over one shoulder towards where his room was. "And, eh… that thing about me needing help with math wasn't a total lie."

So, yes. A math-tutoring sleepover it was.

The two of them made their way up the staircase, Yuuji taking the lead. Nagisa gawked the entire way up, sticking his head out to look over the railing. "Seriously," he said at one point, "your house is huge!"

Yuuji hid an amused smile. It was cute seeing Nagisa get so excited. Try as he might, Yuuji couldn't resist sneaking a few looks back over his shoulder. Every time he did, he saw the other boy's face lit up with a different shade of excitement. Looking at that, Yuuji almost didn't want the staircase to end.

"Oof," Nagisa huffed as he set his bags down inside Yuuji's room. He had brought only one duffle bag and a backpack, but from the way he stood up and stretched afterward, you would think they had been much heavier than they looked.

"So, where did things start going wrong in math for you?" Nagisa asked.

Yuuji made a pained expression. "You wanna take me all the way back to sixth grade?"

The two of them began preparations, their conversation drifting through a few different topics in the meantime. Yuuji caught Nagisa up on how his winter break had gone, and found out in return that Tubbs the cat was safely back at home and fatter than ever. He asked if Nagisa's second semester was off to a good start, and received nothing but a mysterious smile. The boy simply shrugged and told Yuuji that everything was "the same as usual".

However, Yuuji didn't miss Nagisa's continuing fascination as he finished setting up the desk and studying materials. Even though Nagisa's body was relatively still, Yuuji was pretty sure he had felt the boy's gaze flick around the room, passing it over once, then twice, when Yuuji's back was turned. He wondered if the other boy worked like a sponge—soaking in the smallest details on first pass through any room.

But those thoughts vanished within a second, as Nagisa found the TV. He gasped upon seeing the device, claiming that he had never been allowed to have one in his own room. He seemed similarly captivated by Yuuji's collection of every video game console known to man. Nagisa's fingers twitched as he pointed out some particular titles, as if he burned with the desire to play them right now. The eagerness and jealousy mixing together on the boy's face made Yuuji laugh. It was moments like these that reminded him of how Nagisa was still just a regular teenager.

And now they were doing math problems.

"Alright," came Nagisa's voice, snapping Yuuji back to the present. "I've been looking over the worksheet, and I think I see a problem here that might help you out if we do it first. It's set up kind of differently, but if you can understand how to solve this one then you can use the same strategy on all the other questions. Let's take it from the top…"

Yuuji nodded, taking his pencil out of his mouth and stifling a resigned sigh. Remember, he told himself. You invited Nagisa over. At some point in your torturous, befuddled life, you had actually wanted to do these math problems. Insane, I know!

They settled into the work. Gradually the feeling of time became lost around them as the air was filled with nothing but pencil scratchings and the occasional flip of a page. Yuuji concentrated. His entire world seemed to be filled with the square image of a few sheets of paper and a spread-open textbook. Numbers were input, then output. Write, erase, write. His brain still felt like it was being pushed through a sieve, but at least there was an underlying rhythm to it.

Meanwhile, Nagisa acted as tutor. He was a good coach, it turned out, guiding Yuuji towards the answers while still counting on him to make the final step himself. He gently prodded Yuuji away from common mistakes. And all the while he kept his speech honest, while still being encouraging.

But he was fond of the weirdest metaphors. Nagisa would refer to the problems as "monsters" (not that Yuuji disagreed with that), and called Yuuji's formulas "weapons". In order to destroy the next monster, it was important to use the right weapon. And whenever they would start a new math problem, Nagisa would first have Yuuji decide on his "plan of attack".

Even though the amount of effort that Nagisa was putting in on his behalf was incredible, Yuuji couldn't help but feel awkward. He still messed up, still stumbled in his steps, pencil hanging heavy in his hands like a rifle, doggedly struggling to carry out the orders given to him by a person in higher command. If this battlefield was one that Nagisa had mastered, then Yuuji felt like a new recruit.

But after a while, Yuuji had to admit that it was working.

"Huh. You're pretty good at this, Nagisa," Yuuji said during their next pause. He scratched the back of his head with one hand, holding the worksheet up in order to examine it further. "Tutoring, I mean."

Nagisa blinked at him. "You think so?" The boy shrugged. "That's good to know. Well, I mean, there is one other person that I kind of tutor, so it's not like this is my first time."

"Really? That's news to me."

"There's this little girl who goes to a cram school near my house," said Nagisa, his expression seeming to brighten a tad. "The school's a nice place, all wooden and cozy now. Anyway, the girl's name is Sakura, and I meet with her about twice a month for math tutoring, or whatever else she needs."

Yuuji stared back at Nagisa. "Huh."

Yuuji couldn't find the words for it, but he was deeply impressed. This boy standing there—in his light blue jacket and arms folded politely over the pencil case held against his chest—how much time did he actually have in a day? With everything Nagisa had to do in terms of schoolwork, and then personal time, and managing to see Yuuji on the side…how did he work all that in? How did he still have time left over? And what's more, how did he choose to use that time to help others?

Yuuji wished he could respond. But suddenly, nothing seemed to be worthy. He had never needed to express this sort of feeling before, and Yuuji was pretty sure that it was complete awe.

Briefly, Yuuji felt a small stab of guilt for being another drain upon Nagisa's time. Quietly, he frowned. How did the boy manage to come see him so often? It was a mystery. Well, Nagisa had always been an incredible person. And if Nagisa seemed to be alright with it, then Yuuji would give whatever paltry gift his company could be. Still, silently he resolved to do better.

Nagisa nodded in reply. Then something seemed to occur to him. An anxious expression came over Nagisa's face as he waved his hands frantically, as if to dismiss some idea. "But really, I could never do this long-term!" Nagisa said. "Tutoring isn't the same as teaching. Th-that takes a ton of hard work and dedication. You need good people-skills, plus there's a ton of qualifications-"

Yuuji chuckled. He turned back to the worksheet. "If you say so. Still, having you here really cuts through the tension…"

"Cut?" Nagisa blinked. He stared down at his hands, gaze lingering on their outstretched fingers. "Hmm…"

He snapped out of it once Yuuji prompted him, and together they returned to math work.

It took a good hour or so, but finally the worksheets were vanquished of every last monster within their pages, and Nagisa the tutor announced that they were finished. Yuuji flopped back in his seat with a groan of relief, letting his arms dangle over his head. Nagisa gave a small laugh beside him.

Yuuji listened while Nagisa asked him to summarize a few key points from their session. Straining his thoughts through what felt like a wall of cotton, Yuuji managed to mutter out an acceptable answer.

Then, and only then, they were finished. As a reward, Nagisa let them turn to video games.

"This is so cool!" Nagisa exclaimed.

Buttons tapped beneath Yuuji's hands, clicking at a pace rivaled only by that of the boy beside him. "Yeah, the new updates are really great. I've been waiting for this expansion pack to come out for a while."

The two of them leaned in slightly toward each other, hunching their shoulders to follow the motion of their characters on-screen. They stayed caught up in the frantic mashing of their controllers. Every once in a while, their arms would nearly brush.

"You know," Nagisa said as his character sent forth a combo attack. "Video games can enhance reaction speed, and other things like quick decision-making. Some of my friends told me that."

Yuuji laughed. "Really? Great, then we're still studying."

Something ghosted through the pit of his stomach. It was a strange feeling, like an intangible penny had dropped. Yuuji blinked over at Nagisa. "Umm…what else could we study together?"

The other boy stopped. Nagisa set down the controller to look at Yuuji. His face was blank. Then a coy smile spread across his features. "Well," said Nagisa, his tone lilting up at the end. "I guess there is something else…"

He turned and looked behind them. "We could draw," he suggested, "that's always a backup option. Or learn the ways of every card game known to man. Or, if you really want, we could get started on studying some chemistry…"

Yuuji stared for a moment. "Uh, well yeah, sure," Yuuji said, feeling as if he had just been shaken awake from the beginning of some kind of dream. "I guess I meant that. One of those things."

A buzzing sensation went off inside of his pocket. Yuuji pulled out his phone and checked the time.

He stood suddenly. "Wow, what a coincidence!" Yuuji said. Was it just his imagination, or was his voice slightly higher than it should be? "It's dinnertime. My mother should be home by now, so, um, do you want to go downstairs and see what we have?"

Nagisa smiled happily. "Sure!"

He got up and made his way out of the room. Yuuji followed behind, trying to keep his pace steady. He let out a breath that he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. What the hell? Yuuji scratched the back of his head. What had that all been about?

This was all very confusing.

"So, you're the same age as Yuuji? How wonderful."

"It's my pleasure, ma'am."

Yuuji, his mother, and Nagisa formed a small circle around a delicious-smelling assortment of dishes resting in white ceramic containers. Yuuji's eyes roamed over the table, silently debating what to reach for next. The kitchen staff had done a good job this evening. Well, of course this was from the kitchen staff—if his mother had elected to do the cooking, then he would have nothing but burnt crumbs to offer Nagisa instead.

Yuuji's mother smiled at them from across the table. She was a petite woman, wearing a high-fashion shirt and a pencil skirt currently hidden by the billowing tablecloth. Her black hair was in a daring new cut, her skin aging but still fighting against that inevitability due to a rigorous daily treatment of creams and tonics. A few rings inlaid with jewels twinkled on her fingers while hanging earrings flashed every time she turned her head.

"So, my son has been telling me you attend Kunugigaoka Academy," she spoke to Nagisa after their conversation had gone on for a bit. "That's a very nice school."

Nagisa swallowed his bite of food. "Yes, ma'am," he said, voice bursting with pride.

She smiled. "You must be so proud. It's the kind of school that we might have even considered sending Yuuji to, were it not for the distance. I've heard great things about their facilities, and the elevator system is always a delightful bonus. Tell me, what's it like being a student there?"

Nagisa scooted some more rice onto his plate. "I'm in the E class."

Yuuji's mother's eyes went wide. "E…class?" Her grip slipped on the stem of her wine glass just a tad.

Oh boy… Yuuji felt his stomach sink. Here we go.

Of course his mother had heard of Kunugigaoka's unique policies. Pretty much everyone had, to a certain extent. All private schools had their quirks, but Kunugigaoka was unique among middle schools for having so much so deeply ingrained in its structure. Since it was among the top schools in the nation, naturally people talked about its arrangement.

The student body was said to be sorted not only by year in school, but by skill level, comprising Classes A-D respectively. It was said that this gave students more time to get one-on-one help from others at their skill level, and encourage them to all reach for the top together. The idea was apparently based off of some idea from their Board Chairman: something to do with a "worker ant ratio" that allowed for optimal results in student-achieving potential.

Not many people talked about their E Class program, however. In fact, it wasn't even part of the regular promotion for the school—all Kunugigaoka ever seemed to talk about was it's A-D system. Most people saw the existence of an E Class as a waste—why bother to pay private school tuition if you weren't getting much out of it? But status was a weird thing. And many adults seemed to think that a low-tier education at a prestigious school was better than an average-tier education at a no-name school, anyway.

"E class?" Yuuji's mother asked again. "You mean the 'E as in…End'?"

"Yep." Nagisa said.

"I…I had no idea." Yuuji pretended he didn't notice his mother's gaze flick meaningfully to him and then back. "Well, then. I'm sorry to have asked so suddenly. I assumed-"

"Oh, no," Nagisa said. "It's fine. I actually love going there."

"Really?" Yuuji's mother sounded interested.

Nagisa nodded. "It's true that we're a smaller class compared to the others, and it's kind of hard to move up," he said. "But honestly, none of us are really interested in that anymore. We'd all rather focus on what we're doing now, in our own classroom. We've learned so much in this year alone, the teachers there are…outstanding, and every day has been tons of fun. Our skills get sharper every day. More amazing things have happened to us since the start of this year than I could possibly count, and I think that's a good thing. Everybody in my class has some kind of talent, some kind of neat ability they can bring to the group. I've learned so much from being with them."

"Our…facilities might not be like the ones in the main building, but they get the job done. And it all helps to bring us closer together." Nagisa wiped one hand on his napkin, looking extremely self-satisfied. "Honestly, I wouldn't give up the people that I've met there for the world."

Yuuji hid a grin. There it was. He knew that Nagisa was proud of who he was and of his classmates. The expression on his mother's face right now was priceless.

"I see," said Yuuji's mother at last. "Well. I suppose their system is worth the hype, then. It's good to know that anybody can have fun and study successfully, no matter where they are. In fact, if you're the one coming over to our house to teach Yuuji mathematics, perhaps he could learn a thing or two about that…"

Yuuji groaned in protest. "Mo-oom."

When he next felt the prickle of Nagisa's gaze on him, Yuuji rolled his eyes. Off to the side, Nagisa stifled a giggle.

"'Kay Mom," Yuuji called as he set one foot at the bottom of the staircase. "I'm going back upstairs with Nagisa."

Yuuji's mother nodded. "Of course. Have fun," she said. A brief frown crossed her face. "Just as long as you two really are studying up there."

"Mooooooom, I told you, that's what Nagisa's here for," Yuuji whined.

His mother just nodded, waving one hand in sendoff.

As soon as they got back up to his room, Nagisa sat Yuuji down at the desk again. He claimed that they needed to revisit the math problems, saying that taking a break and then briefly reviewing the information made it stick three times better in one's head.

Yuuji was pretty sure a person could power a small generator with all the agonized feelings of Augh, why trapped inside him, but as his pencil moved smoothly over paper, he begrudgingly admitted that it was good review.

As he worked, Nagisa shifted beside him, moving into a better position so he could look over the textbook they were using. The sudden decrease in distance made Yuuji's breath hitch. All of a sudden, the blue-and-white shape of the boy in the corner of his eye seemed to take up more of his attention than the paper on the desk. If Yuuji concentrated, he thought he could just barely feel the warmth coming off Nagisa's skin.

"You'll want to be careful of the negative sign here," Nagisa said, stretching out one arm to point at the paper. His shoulder eclipsed Yuuji's for a moment.

Yuuji nodded roughly, ignoring how their clothes brushed together.

As Yuuji jotted another note down, he was suddenly aware of how big these rooms were. Nagisa had been right, having noticed it during his short walk through the house. The rooms in Yuuji's house were huge, and these walls spaced so far apart, with nice plush rugs covering the floor, so it was very likely that no one would be nearby, and they were practically completely alone up here, nobody could hear them…

He shook his head to clear away those thoughts.

After bending over the textbook, pencil in hand, and scooting his lap fully up against the desk, doubling-down on the concentration, Yuuji finally brought their math work to a close.

It was past midnight.

Yuuji woke and he didn't know why. It was late. The world all around was dark. For a single moment he felt the flutter of a breeze against his cheek, and realized that it must have felt like a touch.

He sat up, rubbing at his eyes with one hand. The soft covers of his bed nested in the shape he had left them. All was calm and quiet. Yuuji looked over to check Nagisa's bed. When he saw that the futon was empty, Yuuji was up like a shot. His arms jerked as he felt the urge to rush downstairs and find the boy, stop him, protect him from something, before Yuuji finally remembered where they were. They were in Yuuji's house. He was in his own home.

A dull shaft of moonlight caught Yuuji's eye.

He turned. The long curtains that covered the room's floor-to-ceiling windows were blowing slightly, fluttering at their leftmost edge. If Yuuji stood still for a moment, he could feel the touch of chill night air.

He padded across the room, floor feeling cold as ice beneath his bare feet. Slowly, Yuuji brushed past the curtains and pulled the glass door open a few centimeters.

There he found Nagisa, sitting on the spacious balcony outside the window. The boy sat cross-legged. He had brought some kind of notebook and a small telescope with him, the machine's lens currently angled up at the stars. Nagisa was looking through it, pausing every once in a while to jot down a few notes and frown. He appeared to be in deep concentration, his phone lying on his knee, the screen busy.

When Nagisa noticed Yuuji watching, he jolted in surprise. Nagisa immediately grabbed his phone, hiding it from view. "Ah! Umm…I…just…" he stuttered. Nagisa gestured up at the sky weakly. "It's just that the night sky is so clear above this neighborhood, so I…well…"

Yuuji did not respond. He stood in the crack between the glass doorframe and the wall, pajamas rumpled, face solemn, hair disheveled. His eyes squinted through the darkness. He didn't say a word.

Then Yuuji turned, disappearing back inside. He threw open the curtains with a soft rush. Then, he pulled back the glass door. Its quiet squeaking sounded only for a moment before it completely withdrew behind the other windows.

Nagisa stared from his place on the balcony. Yuuji had created a direct path between his bags inside and the dark outside rooftops.

"Yuuji…what are you doing?" came Nagisa's quiet voice.

"Go on," Yuuji mumbled, his voice still heavy with sleep. He pointed back towards Nagisa's equipment on the balcony. "Your friends need you, right? That's what you brought all those things for."

"I won't tell," Yuuji continued. "I'll just say that you left early in the morning if my parents ask."

Yuuji scratched his neck sleepily with one hand as a single yawn escaped him. He stumbled back to bed. Once Yuuji reached the bedside, he collapsed into the sheets and wrapped himself up until he was nice and warm again.

Everything after that was only sound.

Click. Creak. Nagisa's footsteps inside the room. Tmp. Things being carefully packed away. The quiet whisper of a bag being dragged closer.

A muffled zip of something being sealed closed. Tmp. Shuffle.

Shff. Just as Nagisa's footsteps reached the window, the sounds paused.

For a few moments, nothing happened.

Then there came the soft sensation of a hand touching Yuuji's hair, light and delicate in its gesture, resting there almost lovingly.

Then the warmth and pressure withdrew. After another few moments stretched onward through the darkness, Yuuji heard the curtains swish closed.

He slept.

Chapter Text

Sometimes, Nagisa would show up with bruises.

They would be small welts on his skin, blossoming dark and purple. Never anywhere people could see—on his arms, underneath pants cuffs, around his elbows. Places easily hidden by long sleeves, cargo pants, loose clothing. They never lasted long, either. Light and temporary, about the size of ten yen coins, the kind you got from knocking against things or taking a bit of a hard fall. Just a smattering of bumps.

It wasn't just bruises, though. Nicks, scrapes, scratches... Nagisa had a whole collection running up and down his limbs. New ones would suddenly appear, most often after a long weekend or holiday, when his class had time to hold "extra P.E. lessons", as he put it. One day Nagisa showed up with a small gash on his face, attributing it to a tree branch. And when he reached for a pen, Yuuji would pretend not to notice the firm calluses on the sides of his fingers. Bumps and scrapes, fingers casually wrapped in band-aids. That was what Nagisa was made of.

And yet, the spark within the boy's blue eyes remained wholly undiminished.

Even so, they were still wounds. Yuuji would always bandage them, even though Yuuji's knots and ties were far worse than Nagisa's. Often, his wrappings were so bad that the other boy would just undo them and tie them up again himself. But at least it reminded him to bandage them. At the very least, Yuuji could do that. At the very least, he could show up every once in a while to remind Nagisa that that these injuries on a middleschooler weren't normal.

He never asked about the wounds. Yuuji figured that if Nagisa wanted to tell him, then he would. Besides, perhaps the boy already felt like he had told Yuuji enough. And that was fine.

If Nagisa was living a life that seemed almost superhuman at times, at least Yuuji was there to remind him that he was still mortal.

Nagisa was distant. That was another thing the boy was.

He would go dark at the strangest times, all calls and messages leading to nothing. There would be no moving about, no sense of motion on his end, only a wall of hollow silence. There were two weeks in January where Nagisa didn't talk to Yuuji at all, only gave him an extra-tight hug once he came back, and demonstrated an increased interest in outer space.

But Yuuji didn't mind. That just made their resulting time together even more special.

During these intervals, all communications with Nagisa would cease, like a blackout. It was as if he faded into shadow, became a true assassin—disappearing at the slightest breeze. At these times, Yuuji could only wait for Nagisa to start contacting him again. There was no point in sending out signals—you could only broadcast into the void once, then twice, before the darkness swallowed it up and the cold realization of waiting began to dawn across the pit of your shoulders. The only thing one could hear was silence. The only thing one could do was wait.

But Yuuji understood. From what he had heard, Nagisa and his friends were part of something very important. They probably had more pressing issues to focus on.

Nagisa was dedicated, also. But to what exactly, he never involved Yuuji.

He refused to discuss it, to talk about anything really, beyond what he had told Yuuji before. Any time that Yuuji offered support, or hinted that he wanted to learn more, arms outstretched toward the boy, Nagisa would back away, shaking his head and holding his hands in front of him, palms pointed downward as if pleading. He said that it was okay not to know, that really Yuuji shouldn't know, and that if Yuuji knew anything more, it might be putting him in danger. Just go back to your friends, Nagisa implored. Go back to your school, your life, and your struggles. But don't worry about me, he would always add. I'm fine. I can handle it. Really. Trust me, and everything will be okay.

Yuuji never understood.

But he did trust. He always trusted.

Nagisa was special. That was nothing to be surprised about; so was everyone in some way.

But this was something different. The boy had ears that could listen through the thickest swarms of noise, and fingers that were too light, skittering around with ease. His shoulders, despite their slimness, never bowed. He had instincts that made him jump a foot in the air when a nearby sound rang out like a shot. His hand would be on Yuuji's shoulder by the next time Yuuji blinked, as if the boy had intended to shove him out of the way. He had eyes that were too sharp, picking up on details that Nagisa wouldn't mention until minutes later, or until they were blocks away down the street. It made Yuuji almost feel blind in comparison.

But that didn't matter. It was exciting, Yuuji reflected as he brushed past Nagisa's hand for a moment as they continued down the street. It was fun to be around somebody with so many talents.

Nagisa was also lost in thought often. The boy would slip into silence, glancing off to the side during one of their get-togethers, something having caused him to think. A pensive frown floated on his face. He would stare at nothing when he thought Yuuji wasn't looking, preoccupied with whatever was on his mind.

And if Yuuji discovered that he could snap the boy out of it by offering him an ice-cream bought from a vendor nearby, then so what? It was a relief to see Nagisa glance up, the clouds of worry slowly fading from the boy's face as it relaxed into a grin. That was what friends were for. Right?

Nagisa was an assassin. Whatever that meant.

Yuuji still didn't know quite what to make of that, to be honest. All he really knew was that the boy was doing something for the government, and the rest was a national secret. Nagisa had summarized it for him once, in that workshed, long ago. But neither of them had revisited it since. They didn't need to. It wasn't something that needed to be explained. It wasn't something that needed to be justified. It simply existed between them, silently.

Instead they lived, and talked, meeting up whenever they wanted to. The days passed by like sand through an hourglass, numbers on the calendar ticking down until the pages were forced to change to something new.

And so Yuuji did everything he could.

He tried to give Nagisa what he needed—whatever that was. It wasn't like they ever spelled it out, but in the back of Yuuji's mind something prickled. So Yuuji would talk. Whether it was chatting on the phone about his family, details about attending a rich-kid school, complaints about all the little obstacles in life, Yuuji would talk about it all. He would talk about how much he was an idiot—because God, did Yuuji know he could be an idiot—and it didn't even matter, he didn't even care. Because sharing his embarrassing moments with Nagisa suddenly made them seem none too embarrassing after all. They seemed human.

He would try to cheer Nagisa up. Yuuji would send Nagisa funny pictures, small gestures to occasionally brighten the boy's day. Or post stupid things, or tell bad jokes, even bad jokes that Nagisa thought were good ones. Yuuji didn't know how Nagisa could possibly think he was funny, but he wouldn't question it.

He would drag Nagisa back down to earth, just every once in a while if he thought the boy needed it. He would message Nagisa about the latest big news-piece and ask if he had seen it yet. He followed up on whatever bits of shallow school gossip Nagisa told him. He would text Nagisa about the weird stories that his father brought home from the workplace, leading them to wonder together about what it would mean to be an adult.

He would do things, too. He would go places, and find new excuses to hang closer to Kunugigaoka instead of his own hometown. He would do stupid tricks and fall down in stupid snowbanks and walk into stupid poles and take pictures of it if it would just make Nagisa smile. And often, it did. Which made Yuuji smile too.

Yuuji was just one guy. He knew he wasn't much. But he could do something for Nagisa, at least.

And so he would sit, here, as many times as needed, gently curling wrappings over bruised arms.

He set the bandages, crinkling the paper, messing up the tape, doing everything wrong, until Nagisa's hands slowly took over to finish the job. Yuuji pulled the final strips tight, murmuring and asking the one question no one ever seemed to ask: 'are you okay?'

He would take care of the boy, always continuing until Nagisa stopped numbly nodding his head along and would look up to give Yuuji a verbal yes, the boy's eyes so blue and his smile so gentle but hiding an unshakable confidence behind it.

That was the look that made Yuuji believe that everything really was going to be okay.

It wasn't the same stunning flash of a smile that he had seen during that first time, back on the island, but it didn't have to be. The fleeting spark was still the same. Sometimes if Yuuji looked up, catching glances at Nagisa out of the corner of his eye, he would see it. The hint of light. Even bruised, even beaten-up, Nagisa was still smiling. He would still give him these small smiles.

And all Yuuji knew was that he would chase after that smile to the ends of the earth.

Chapter Text

It felt like they were always doing this.

Like every time they would meet, there would be this awkward introduction, just enough time for the two of them to interact, and then they had to say goodbye again. As if Nagisa always had somewhere else he had to be, something else that demanded his attention. There was another space, a different story in which he had to play a part. Their time together came in short bursts, scattered weekends, sporadic text messages.

But over the course of time, Yuuji had begun to sense that it was something best not worried about. That was just a gradual realization, a semblance of knowledge based upon impressions of the presence always lurking in Nagisa's mind, causing the boy's torso to curl inward when Nagisa thought Yuuji wasn't looking, of his heart that remained trained on something that Yuuji couldn't see, of something always thought but never said out loud.

Still, they were middle-schoolers. Life was supposed to be weird.

Actually, once Yuuji thought about it, he realized that they had been seeing each other quite a lot. Given that only a few months had passed since they had rediscovered each other in that restaurant, it was pretty amazing how often they managed to meet or connect. Nagisa must have actually been making quite a lot of effort to stay in touch with him. Much more effort than for any normal friendship.

Yuuji smiled to think of it.

And yet, when he was with Nagisa, Yuuji didn't feel so much like a side attraction anymore.

A buzz from a cell phone interrupted his thoughts. Yuuji picked the phone up off the desk in front of him, gaze focused aimlessly on the wall of his bedroom. He checked the screen almost without any thought. Maybe it was an alert from his foodie blog, or a cancelled request regarding the next location he planned to visit. If so, that'd be a shame. Yuuji was always interested in checking out new places…

The message was from Nagisa.

Yuuji's throat constricted for a moment as he read the name. He opened the message. It consisted of a simple picture, showing a man from the shoulders up. He was tall, with smooth black hair pulled into a low ponytail. There was a slight crease between his eyebrows, as if they were furrowed. His eyes were narrow and sharp. He wore a black jacket. Underneath it, a white-collared shirt could be seen. His face was neutral, looking vaguely in the direction of the camera.

'is this man lying?'

Yuuji stared down at the message. What was that supposed to mean? Nagisa must know by now that Yuuji had a good sense for faces, but…to ask something like this, so suddenly?

He glanced back at the picture again before typing a reply. '? no, why?'

There was a moment of suspended silence. 'thank you, Yuuji.' came the eventual response. 'you've been a big help.'

'Uh… you're welcome?' Yuuji sent. 'Heh, yeah aren't you lucky to have the assistance of the great Norita brain?'

The joke fell flat even inside of his own head. Yuuji blinked down at the screen. No matter how hard he tried, Yuuji couldn't shake the strange feeling that had just come over him. 'Wait, hold on.', he texted. That had been an unusually curt response, especially from Nagisa. 'Who is that guy?'

Two minutes passed before he received a reply. 'a sub.', Nagisa said.

Yuuji frowned in thought. Sub? Like a substitute teacher?

'Oh.' he replied. 'Your teacher's sick?'

'no. at a meeting. w/ our other teachers too.'

Yuuji blinked. Hmm. That did sound unusual. Yuuji wasn't sure how many staff members were assigned to Class 3-E, but given the run-down look of their building, he wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't many. Then were they all alone on that mountainside today?

'Huh. Weird.', he said.

After a long interval of silence from Nagisa's end, Yuuji sent another message. 'Does the sub seem nice, at least?'

'a little.', came the reply.

'Ok.'

Yuuji frowned. His finger hovered over the send button. Maybe it was just his imagination. Maybe he should just leave things alone, but goddammit, he cared about the other boy. 'Is there something wrong?' he sent.

Again, silence fell. But not the quiet, cold kind from before. This silence felt more like the shape of a person hovering somewhere behind the keyboard, every second filled with their subtle tension.

'Yuuji…' Nagisa began. 'we r in the middle of something very important. odds r good but we have to concentrate now, i can't'

The message cut off there.

'Nagisa?" Panic spiked through Yuuji's heart. 'You there?'

Then the words came.

'maybe you shouldn't talk to me.'

The phrase felt like a blow. Yuuji's breath hitched as if he had been slapped. 'What dyou mean?' he typed back frantically. 'Why this, why now?'

'i meant to tell you earlier. it's for your own good.'

Yuuji stared. His own good?

Thankfully before Yuuji could respond, more replies came in, sent with the hurry of someone typing right before class started. 'i thought we could just continue like you and i were until the end of this year, but… it seems we can't.', Nagisa said. 'my class got a call from karasuma-sensei. freelance assassins from before r on the move again. this time, we need to protect everything we've worked so hard for. so. goodbye for now.'

'What do you mean goodbye?' Yuuji said. 'Are you in trouble?'

Even more seconds passed before the next message.

'everything's back to normal.'

The sinking feeling in Yuuji's gut had turned to stone. It dragged him down, pressing his back against the chair as his vision swam. Normal…normal? His mind revolved around that word.

Try as Yuuji might, communication between him and the other boy stayed worse than spotty. Worry beat through him like a pulse as Nagisa's texts became shorter, more clipped. The boy seemed to be hinting that they had nothing more to say to each other.

'wait,' Yuuji said. 'tell me what's going on!'

'nothing's going on. Im just saying. There's no time for games anymore.'

'Why aren't you talking to me?' Yuuji said, his texts becoming more frantic. His fingers flew as if they too could sense Nagisa slipping away. 'Did something happen? Nagisa!'

They continued on until one last message.

'we're out of time'

After that, communications went dark.

Yuuji fell silent as he watched his messages bounce back, traced in red with tiny "!" symbols next to them signifying that the other party wasn't even receiving his messages. Nagisa must have turned his phone off for class.

Yuuji's fingers trembled slightly. He sat there with shock for veins, a mute witness to everything crashing around and colliding inside of him. It was all too sudden. He thought of everything they had done together, him and Nagisa. He thought of everything they had talked about. All the streets they had walked. All the times they had been afraid. The times they had been angry. The times they had been happy. The times they had fun, the times they had fun, the times they had fun…

Yuuji shook his head to snap himself out of it. He shoved the phone into his pocket and kicked back against his chair, opting to get angry instead. Fine. Be that way. If Nagisa was so determined to isolate himself, then Yuuji wouldn't even try.

Yuuji took the moment to scowl, arms folded across his chest. He couldn't believe Nagisa would do this to him, especially now. What, had Nagisa just wanted to use him for his face-analyzing ability-

Wait.

A chill crept up the end of his spine. Something was up. Now that Yuuji really bothered to think about it, something wasn't right.

He took out his phone and looked at the picture again. The familiar lines of the man's face danced across his vision for a moment, but that was all Yuuji needed. A surge of triumph shot through him. He knew it!

It wasn't that there was anything suspicious about the man—in fact, there were no flaws at all. But that was just it! He looked too perfect. There was no nervousness, none of the self-doubt usually present in a person when meeting somebody else for the first time. Yuuji had seen dozens of people enter their living room to meet with his father. He knew what that looked like.

And there was...something else, too. Yuuji almost shivered to put it to name. But it wasn't anything that he could ever point out. There were no drooping folds around the man's eyes, no lines tracing near his cheeks to show that the person could be wearing a mask. In fact, there was nothing physical about it. But Yuuji still felt something, a cold sensation that lurked across his shoulders like a fog, leaving them damp with sweat and his heart rate just beginning to speed-

With a jolt, Yuuji realized. This photograph gave him that same feeling from months ago—the feeling of bloodlust.

It took a moment for the thought to sink in.

Slowly, Yuuji's fingers moved to tap the message button. They felt stiff, as if his entire body had been soaked in ice water. But before they could tap on the keyboard, he stopped. It would be no use. Nagisa's phone was a blackout right now.

For one moment, Yuuji did nothing. He could tell that his face was grim, mind struggling to think through the static. He didn't want to think about this. He didn't want to be the one to know this. Surely it couldn't be up to him to…?

Yuuji let out a deep sigh. He shifted in his chair. He looked up at the walls around him—milky white, solid and mind-numbingly boring, just like they had always been. The house was quiet as always, with only the distant sound of a heater rumbling through the vents. Here, things were normal. Here, suddenly nothing that was happening on the phone seemed real. All he had to do was look up and breathe.

Eventually, Yuuji allowed his attention to wander back to the weight of the phone in his hand. He scratched his head. Something had to happen, right? He couldn't get the dangerous feeling out of his mind. But what about Nagisa's classmates? Maybe he should just leave it to them? They were the ones with secret-soldier training, after all.

He nodded. Yeah, that was it! If something happened, they would know what to do. Besides, there was like, thirty of them, Yuuji reasoned with himself. If worst came to worst, they could all dogpile and take the guy together. There was no need for Yuuji to get involved…

The feeling of the man in the photo flashed through Yuuji's mind. He gulped.

Guh. Yuuji fidgeted in place. This couldn't be happening. An uncomfortable feeling prickled beneath his skin, a jumping sensation in his gut, but Yuuji couldn't bring himself to get up and follow it. His hands were sweating. His limbs were thin. Compared to Nagisa's classmates, he was useless.

So why—his grip tightened on his sleeves—why did he feel this pull?

Yuuji was quiet for a moment. Then he shrugged. Nagisa could handle it, anyway, he reasoned. Yuuji knew the boy could. Why would he ever need Yuuji there?

Yuuji scowled and retreated further in on himself at the thought. Yeah. That was it. Why would Nagisa ever need-

Suddenly it hit him.

Yuuji blinked, turning slowly to look back at the phone. He might not need to be there, came Yuuji's thoughts. But he wanted to be there. And that was because…

In one moment, so quick that Yuuji's entire life seemed separated into before and after, everything connected. All the things he had been thinking before leapt to a higher point, combining and bouncing off of one another. Everything flashed in an instant like a strike of lightening. It all came together.

He remembered that person, the one he had met among strobe lights and the scent of dancing. Soft powder-blue hair that had managed to entrance him even from across the room. Eyes that blinked at him in the darkness, glancing away every once in a while in a way that made Yuuji desperate for them to come back. A slight frame, and skirt that brushed in a way Yuuji couldn't help but see as masculine now. The same soft face again, much later, and cream sweaters, teasing glances, the sound of light laughter. A brilliant beam of a smile. A kind heart. In one bright moment, before and after were exactly the same. And Yuuji finally understood.

He hadn't just gotten a crush on that island. He had fallen in love.

Yuuji let out a long breath. "Okay. Oh wow," he muttered. "Okay…"

That was something worth moving for. Yuuji reached out, gathering up his phone and a small bag, tossing in a few things quick as a flash. Go! Go! He moved without thinking. His mind felt like it was floating on a cloud. Yuuji had never before felt so energized and so scared at the same time. But that didn't matter. His heart was pounding in his ears, and for the first time ever he was following it.

Suddenly, just when everything was at its peak, Yuuji's hands froze. His fingers trembled around the edge of the desk. What was he doing? Intrusive thoughts sliced through the happy glow of his mind. This was insane! Pure insanity!

All of his confidence seemed to vanish. In one moment, Yuuji felt the entire weight of the narrative crash down on him. He had only ever been a side character in Nagisa's life, he realized. He still had no clue what was going on, and had no idea how he would be of any help. This was not his place. It was not meant to be. He was meant to be nothing more than a distraction, a blip on the edge, a nobody-

And Yuuji turned. And ran.

But this time, he ran towards Nagisa, a bag slung across his back and a coat grabbed around him, pulling up the collar against the snow that lined the gray February streets.

Because screw relevance. Screw how little influence he had. Screw how unimportant he was or seemed. Screw how everything could continue on without him and nothing would change. Screw it all. He was just one man, just one regular person. But Yuuji knew one thing.

He loved Nagisa.

Chapter Text

Gray clouds. Sunlight. Crisp, winter air, shocking the moment it hit your lungs. Footsteps pounding. A rock lying half-buried in mud. A green canopy that blocked out the sky. Panic. Still not there. Still not yet.

The mountainside passed in a blur all around Yuuji. Pale sunlight filtered down through gaps in the trees, snatching at his vision through the thick curtain of leaves. The path beneath him jolted rough against his shoes. He stumbled over rocks and maneuvered around fallen branches. Everything flashed by in shades of brown, green, or gray.

Yuuji's breath rushed in and out of his lungs. One trip on the train, the scent of metal still clinging to his sleeves, one quick jog to the school, and now a dash up the mountainside…no wonder the Class E kids were so fit. It hadn't seemed this bad when Yuuji was walking to their Fall food stall…

Taking a moment to breathe deeper, Yuuji focused. He imagined his limbs regaining their strength. He had to keep going, he was the hero, the hero would never-

Nope. The sound of pounding footsteps ceased in Yuuji's ears as his feet lurched, almost of their own volition, to a stop. He gasped for few seconds, bending over to brace both hands on his knees. Frustration burned within his heart almost as bad as his legs did. This felt pathetic. But whatever. He was only human, Yuuji thought to himself. This wasn't some action movie—real human beings had to rest.

But he couldn't let himself stop for long. Danger lurked like a shadow in the back of Yuuji's mind. He felt his fingers tremble whenever he considered Nagisa, or anyone, getting hurt. Plus, if he stopped, he might lose this feeling, lose what he wanted to say, and then…

Yuuji gritted his teeth. He wiped one arm across his forehead, standing to look back up at the rest of the mountain trail. Then, he took off once more. He had to get there.

He didn't know what led him to the equipment shed. He didn't know when he noticed that the long, low classroom building was suspiciously quiet. He didn't know how he knew that there were no shadows beyond the filmy windows, no people moving within. He didn't know why the birds had stopped chirping in the trees. He didn't know whether the shed might have reminded him of another fateful meeting, months in the past.

But Yuuji was led there just the same.

He flung the door open in a burst of noise. "Nagisa!"

The boy was there.

Within the first glance, the first flash of blue hair, Yuuji had spotted him. The boy was lying tied up on the floor. Ropes could be seen binding his arms to his torso. His head was closest to Yuuji, with his legs drawn in behind him. The boy had been gagged too, apparently, with some kind of tape covering his mouth. As Yuuji opened the door, Nagisa looked up, having just managed to scrape one side of the tape off against the floorboards.

"Yuuji? What are you doing here?!" he exclaimed, voice high with shock.

Yuuji moved on automatic. He sank to the other boy's side, ignoring the churning in his stomach and the electricity that rattled through his nerves. He started working at the ropes. Grimacing, he tried pushing them up, then moving them down. Crap! Yuuji's mind raced. He could loosen them slightly, but that wasn't nearly enough.

Something on the floor a few paces away caught Yuuji's eye. It was one of those fake rubber knives, a green one like what he had seen used in the past. Yuuji reached out and grabbed it. He slipped the tool to Nagisa through the ropes, trusting the other boy with it. Two hands set to work, immediately flipping the knife around underneath their bonds.

But Nagisa seemed to be interested in something else. After transferring the rest of the tape onto the floorboards with one flick of his head, the boy's gaze whipped up. Anger blazed in his ocean-blue eyes. "You came here…all by yourself?"

Taken aback by the strident tone in Nagisa's voice, Yuuji shuffled back slightly. He gave a dry nod.

The expression on Nagisa's face turned into indescribable rage.

In one motion, the boy's arms burst free of the ropes. Nagisa moved fast as a striking cobra, throwing the knife in a green blur towards Yuuji's head.

Yuuji had just enough time to feel a jolt of pure fear. He closed his eyes-

And heard a 'thunk' somewhere behind him.

Yuuji turned to see a man collapsing. Someone else had appeared in the doorway—a figure wearing a white-collared dress shirt, wide-brimmed hat, and all. The man's black hair fluttered in the air for a moment as he crumpled, head jerked back with the blow from the hilt of the knife.

Yuuji's mouth fell open. He scrambled backwards on his hands and feet, withdrawing even further inside the shed. At the same moment Nagisa darted to the door, pushing against the heavy sliding compartment until the door groaned closed. He placed another board horizontally across its surface, blocking the latch.

"You must have drawn him here," Nagisa explained loud enough for Yuuji to hear. "An inexperienced civilian crashing through the undergrowth, with no equipment and not even bothering to hide… No one could possibly be that stupid. Any decent assassin would get suspicious and move to address that change in plans. You're lucky that you made it here."

Nagisa turned to look back at Yuuji. "So," he said, voice dry with sarcasm. "I assume you found something else in that picture you wanted to tell me about?"

Some of the humor managed to cut through the icy fear of Yuuji's thoughts. He nodded in agreement. Vaguely, Yuuji was proud of himself—usually he would have lost it by now, but this time he had managed to keep some thoughts in his head clear, like icebergs in a storm. He understood. That fury and desperation hadn't been aimed at him. It had been aimed toward the assassin that Nagisa knew would be appearing in the doorway.

Finally, Yuuji relaxed, the back of his head hitting lightly against the wooden wall behind where he was sitting. He swallowed, gathering his strength. First things first. He had to say what was most important-

"I saw something weird about that man in the photo," he said. "There was something…else hidden behind his face. Everything else was perfect, but…I couldn't explain this strange feeling if I tried. It reminded me of back when you fought that guy, when he snuck up behind me, and how you moved when-"

Yuuji's speech trailed off. "I think your substitute is dangerous," he summarized.

Nagisa's eyes widened as if he recognized what Yuuji was talking about. "You were able to pick up on that from a photograph? Your observation skills are even better than I thought."

Before Yuuji could ask what the boy meant, Nagisa had taken his cell phone out of his pocket. The boy fumbled with it for a moment, wincing slightly at the grooves in his wrists. "I have to alert the others," said Nagisa as he typed a rapid set of numbers into the phone's surface. "The sub scattered us all around during the beginning of lunch, saying something about 'chores' that needed doing. I'll bet I was his first target."

Nagisa scowled, bringing the phone up to his ear. "Should have known," he muttered.

Nagisa glanced to the side as he got a response. "Ritsu?" the boy spoke. "Ritsu, come in. Oh thank god, your mobile form still works. Listen, I need you to-"

Yuuji blinked at the cell phone, staring for a moment before letting his gaze wander away. Yet another string of words he didn't fully understand. Would Nagisa's life never cease to be fascinating?

After a long minute, the boy hung up. "Whew. That's the best I can do for now," he said. "The others will have to take care of the rest."

Nagisa turned to Yuuji and gave a kind smile. "I'm glad you're here, Yuuji." Then he blinked and looked away. "Um. So I can protect you," he said, voice flustered.

A kind of warmth spread through Yuuji's chest. He had never wanted to be protected by someone before.

"Although, you sort of protected me today, too," Nagisa admitted, scratching his head in embarrassment. "And all of Class E. If it weren't for you, I would have stayed tied up even longer. So, thanks."

Then Nagisa frowned. "Although I told you to stay out of it," Nagisa muttered, as if remembering how cold he had acted to Yuuji over their messages. He turned to face away, towards the shed door.

Something about the sight pushed Yuuji to his feet.

"N-Nagisa!"

Yuuji fought the urge to freeze as the boy's gaze drifted back to him. Oh, god. He had spoken like something out of a dream, but now suddenly everything else felt way too real. He was immediately aware of each wooden floorboard, each brush of stale air against his cheek. His heart hammered within his chest, loud enough to block out any other sounds. He couldn't think, and yet somehow it was only now that Yuuji felt he had ever been thinking clearly.

But Yuuji took a deep breath. This time he needed no threats, no bribes to make himself speak. This was his basic instinct.

He closed his eyes.

"Nagisa… I-I'm going to say something for a moment, so just hear me out. I know that you think I fell in love with you as an accident, but that's…that's not true!"

"When I saw you on that island, I thought…you were really cool," Yuuji said. "And you turned out to be inspiring. But more than that, Nagisa, you were kind. I…I've never forgotten it."

"Everything that I've seen since then, everything I've watched you do, every time we've been together, has only reinforced those thoughts," he continued. "I don't even think you realize. You always look at people with kindness first. You're clever. You're funny. You've got this sense of determination around you. And you know how to be gentle without losing any of your strength. I seriously can't think of anybody else that amazing."

He paused for breath. "In short, you're the same person as back then, so…my feelings are the same, too."

Yuuji looked directly at the boy. "I would do anything if only it would keep you near me. I would search through a thousand nightclubs if I could find you there again. I would climb a mountain just to make sure that you were safe, and make a fool of myself a dozen times if it would get you to laugh. I would chase after your smile for months, for years, knowing that you'd be on the other side."

"So, as for how we met, or what you're a part of," Yuuji blabbed, "that doesn't matter! None of that, it doesn't matter to me, Nagisa. The only thing that matters to me is you!"

It was all spilling out, everything, one word pulling on another until entire ideas broke free. And as much as Yuuji was saying, he found that he didn't regret any of it. After being silent for so long, who would have known that finally putting things to words would make him feel so free?

"I can't explain it, but… You give my life some kind of meaning," Yuuji continued. "I want to be a better person when I'm around you, Nagisa. And that's incredible. It's something I don't want to let go of."

"None of that has anything to do with what you were wearing," declared Yuuji. "Like I said in the past, all of that stuff is gender-neutral, and I was so blind…" He hung his head.

"So," Yuuji spoke again after a moment. "I don't want you to ever feel like nobody cares about you, because I do! I care so much, Nagisa! It's not just how you look, or the way you act, or even your smile that drew me to you. It's who you are as a person."

"I didn't fall in love with your clothes," Yuuji said at last, feeling his full strength behind each word. "It was with you, Nagisa. It was always with you. And it still is."

As Yuuji finished, he became aware of his stomach twisting into knots. It was a sensation that he had felt before, many times, and had never been sure what to think of. But Yuuji knew now. He could finally admit to himself that he liked the feeling, had always liked how Nagisa made him feel, but just hadn't been sure about coming to terms with it.

He was willing to risk an answer now.

"So yeah, that's…that's it." Yuuji attempted to speak past the furious blush on his cheeks. "Today I at least wanted to keep my promise, about not running away from you anymore. 'Cause I meant it. And, well, I'll be here if you…if you're willing to have me."

Yuuji scratched the back of his head. "Nagisa, I once asked you to be honest, about what you thought about me. Well…this is how I feel about you."

There was silence from Nagisa's end of the shed.

Yuuji felt his shoulders sag. "I know I'm really stupid, and all I do is pull you away…"

"Stop."

Nagisa's voice rang softly through the building. "Don't say that." Yuuji's heart skipped a beat at the boy's words. When Nagisa spoke again, his voice was brimming with honesty. "I never wanted you to leave."

He looked up at Yuuji and their eyes met. "You were never unimportant to me."

Yuuji felt his breath slow. The remark had been said so casually, and yet Yuuji knew that Nagisa meant it. Nagisa was standing there staring right at him, with a small smile, one of the smiles that Yuuji had just told Nagisa how much he loved. And it meant more to Yuuji than anything else in the world.

Then the other boy paused. Nagisa glanced off to the side and sighed. "This won't be easy, you know? Not even because of…the gender thing. Because of who I am."

Yuuji nodded, the sound of Nagisa's words washing over him like waves. "Of course," Yuuji heard himself say. "I wouldn't have charged into an assassin-infested mountainside otherwise."

Nagisa blinked. A short, heavenly laugh escaped him. "My knight in shining armor," he teased Yuuji.

Then he buried his face behind one hand, a small smile still showing through the gaps in his fingers. "God, why do you… This is what I mean. How was I not supposed to fall for you if you keep making me laugh?"

At last, Nagisa took the hand down from his face. He fell quiet, staring at some other point. He mumbled softly as if to himself, "Well…Irina-sensei always said to never kill your feelings along with your target."

The silence stretched on.

"Um," Yuuji said, becoming uncomfortable. "Nagisa-"

"I love you too!" Nagisa exclaimed, looking straight up at Yuuji. The words were laid on him like a mercy. The other boy's tone was gentle, decisive, as if he had been waiting to say those words for a long time. And was that—yes, a blush rising to the boy's cheeks! "You dork," Nagisa added.

A broad grin spread across Yuuji's face. Never before had he been so happy to be called a dork.

"Or at least, I'm pretty sure I do." Nagisa shrugged. "You wanna just stick together in the meantime? We've still got the rest of our lives ahead of us, after all…"

Yuuji nodded wordlessly. He couldn't believe it. His memory held tightly to the words Nagisa had said, to the image of Nagisa saying them, holding it close and stowing the memory somewhere deep inside of him, in a place Yuuji was sure he would never forget. Had he really heard that right? So, from now on they were…?

Nagisa had said yes. Yuuji felt so happy he could hardly contain it—he needed to smile, to stand lighter on his feet, just to express some of it outwardly. All of the dark clouds rolled back, washed away by a blazing sun. And this time Yuuji felt like he would never feel such darkness again.

He chose Nagisa. And Nagisa had chosen him back. Suddenly everything was beautiful.

"Yes," Yuuji breathed. "Yes, Nagisa, I promise I'll-"

There was a shuffling sound on the other side of the door.

Both boys' smiles disappeared. The joyous mood vanished in an instant.

When Yuuji next blinked, he opened his eyes to see Nagisa's hand extended out to him, done seemingly without thinking. Nagisa's eyes remained focused on the door. "Stay with me?" he said.

Yuuji took it. "Of course."

They stood there together, hand in hand. Yuuji breathed around the pounding of his heart. It still felt a bit like he was living in a dream, but this was much too real. Suddenly Yuuji found he couldn't think about anything—not others, not the danger waiting outside, not even what people would think. Every part of him seemed to be wrapped up in the feeling of the boy standing next to him, the silhouette of his hair in the dim light, Yuuji's hand held warm in Nagisa's own. The silence wasn't scary anymore. It was a place they could be together. And his heart, rewarded after hammering for so long, felt like it was positively glowing inside his chest.

Nothing had ever felt so right.

Later, after the sun had dipped down a bit farther across the sky, Yuuji stood by the school gate.

In a dot of blue, Nagisa appeared from the main door of the schoolhouse building and began jogging toward him.

"Yuuji," Nagisa called as he approached, waving a hand. Once he reached the wooden post, Nagisa bent over slightly to catch his breath. His blue bangs fell into his face, and Yuuji let his stomach flutter at the sight.

"Sorry for the wait," Nagisa apologized, shooting Yuuji a sheepish grin. "It took a while to figure out what words to say to everyone."

It had taken until the end of the afternoon for the disturbance to get resolved. Yuuji had watched it all from a distance, many meters down the mountain where Nagisa had told him to wait. From where he had been, it just looked like a bunch of shouting. Some black-haired man with bushy eyebrows had been very angry, stalking around and distributing orders to the students, while a foreign-looking blonde woman had been clinging to the kids one moment and shrieking at them the next.

Nagisa straightened up, readjusting his school clothes. "Anyway, everything's all taken care of. Get this," he said, "You were right. That man was a freelancer. Apparently there was an assassin gone rogue."

"Basically, the freelancers started getting nervous," Nagisa explained. "They must have realized that an important deadline's coming up. Real soon, in fact. And they were starting to get worried that if they missed this chance, they might never get their shot again. So one of them broke his contract."

Nagisa said the last bit with stars in his eyes, as if it was terribly exciting news. "We confirmed with a third party that one of their free agents suddenly dropped all communications. It turns out that his profile matches the man who showed up here. He must have knocked out our real substitute before the sub could arrive here, and then took his place. We even found the real guy lying unconscious down one of the alternate mountain trails, to confirm." Nagisa hid a nervous smile. "Guess he won't be teaching us anytime soon."

Yuuji shrugged. "Oh."

"Yeah." Nagisa nodded. "It won't happen again. We got Karasuma-sensei to make some phone calls. According to him, all third-party activity is likely to cease."

"I see."

Nagisa gazed back towards the school building, a nostalgic look settling on his face. "I still can't believe none of us sensed the freelancer's bloodlust," he admitted. "We must have missed it because it was aimed at- uh, something else. Our mutual target. Plus, we've never had to feel bloodlust from a teacher before…" He frowned. "Our main teacher's kind treatment might have spoiled us a bit in this regard."

"Hm."

Nagisa shook his head. "We'll have to work a lot harder," he said, voice rife with determination. "After meeting another challenge, it's up to us to improve ourselves from it. Now that we've learned this lesson, too, we need to get even stronger. That's all part of the path to becoming a better adult."

"Mhm."

Nagisa seemed to agree. The two of them stood side by side for a minute, a cool mountain breeze blowing slowly through their hair. The shape of the Class E building loomed low in the clearing in front of them.

Finally, Nagisa took another breath to speak, turning to look up at Yuuji. "So hey, what should- Mmph!"

His words were cut off as Yuuji leaned in to steal a kiss.

Yuuji had closed the distance between them in the blink of an eye, softly sealing his lips over Nagisa's in one swift, assured motion. They met with all the heat of a spark, fitting together like two puzzle pieces. Nagisa's eyes flew wide before they slowly fluttered closed, the boy losing himself in the sensation.

When they separated, their gazes stayed captivated, staring into each other's face for a moment. Yuuji's cheeks had gone red as a tomato, Nagisa's expression slack with genuine surprise.

"Well," Yuuji said, managing not to stutter. "Bye, then."

He turned and left, skittering down the path while drawing the brim of his cap low over his face.

Growing ever smaller in the distance behind him, Nagisa's face was lost in the red tones of a blush. He brought one hand up to his mouth, gently touching the fingers to his lips. The boy appeared to be too flustered to speak. For one moment, the hint of a smile played at the edge of his cheeks. Yuuji had managed to do what no one else had done—get the drop on a skilled assassin-in-training. Impressive.

The mountainside passed in earthy tones all around Yuuji. Gray rocks slowly went by on either side, marking the edges of the road and occasionally extending out into the neighboring woodland. Trees stood guard all around like forest-green sentinels. And stretching out above him was an endless, bright blue sky.

Yuuji walked on down the mountain road, watching as the cityscape of home and reality waited for him far out in the distance.

He couldn't say anything. There were so many words and sounds piling up inside, all of them essential but all of them failing to fully describe this moment. So, eventually they all just bubbled up inside, amalgamating into something powerful as all of them at once, Yuuji letting out a short, sharp cry to release it, leaping into the air as he skipped down the path toward home, a single fist held high.

Chapter Text

Something that Kunugigaoka never advertised was their Valentine's Day festival.

Although with the school's reputation, it wasn't like they needed to advertise much. Given that it was a yearly event, people just showed up anyway. According to legend, it was arranged and paid for mostly by the school and its top administrators, giving the students enough time to focus on their demanding exams and end-of-year schedules. Honestly, the Valentine's Day festival seemed to serve more as a way to get prospective students interested in the academy than anything else, as well as letting the community come in to explore the prestigious school grounds. Had to keep up those good relations with the public, after all.

Though, in the heat of the moment, the festival seemed just as focused on the holiday as anything else.

Yuuji dodged booths, passing people left and right and muttering apologies whenever accidentally bumping into someone. And that happened a lot. There must have been over a thousand people in the main courtyard alone. Yuuji scowled. This place was as lively as usual.

Two large boards forming the shape of a heart stood by the entrance to the school, towering over all newcomers and making everyone who walked through them feel indoctrinated into the lovey-dovey theme. Beyond them stretched two rows of booths, the tented structures selling things like cards, souvenirs, charms related to studying and luck in romance, and of course, chocolates. There were many shrieking girls. And just as many pouting guys.

Everything was in shades of red, white, and pink. Garlands of lace and assorted cut-outs stretched between the trees, while other, separate strands connected one booth to another. Arrangements of flowers had been placed at tastefully-selected corners. Bringing up the end of the main row of booths was even a flower-sculpture of the school mascot, Kunudon. It gave Yuuji the creeps.

He stumbled past another rejection-zombie, the male student's eyes lost and empty from lack of receiving chocolate. The student shuffled away, groaning something about 'one, please…just one.' Yuuji stared after him for a moment with a mix of pity and fear before continuing on.

He still hadn't found what he was looking for. Yuuji frowned and craned his neck in order to see all the way to the end of this row of booths. Where is the section for Class E? he wondered. I've wandered all over by now, but still haven't seen it…

At last, Yuuji gave in. He tapped the shoulder of the nearest student wearing a Kunugigaoka uniform. "Hey," he said. "Could you tell me where the booths run by Class E are?"

The boy that Yuuji had stopped gave him a funny look. "Uhh… Class E doesn't have any booths."

"What?" Yuuji exclaimed. "You're kidding me."

The boy in the uniform slowly backed away. "Nope. That's the way it is. They're so far behind and so low, they uh…need to focus on their schoolwork before we can let them back onto the main campus. Principal's orders."

He pointed towards an open gate in the chain-link fence that surrounded the school premises. "Their part of the festival is over that way, but it's not much. I'd stay here and enjoy the real party, if I were you."

Yuuji stared at the chain-link fence. Then he stared back towards the student. "You serious? Isn't the entire school supposed to participate?"

The student shifted on his feet. "They are participating. Nothing's stopping their friends and family from going over to see their section. Besides, if you ask me, they should stay where they belong. We don't need…distractions," the student's voice ended in a mutter, as if he didn't quite believe what he was saying.

Yuuji scowled. He swept one hand through the air in a rough farewell to the student and walked off in the direction of the fence. Tch. Behind him, the student nervously adjusted his overjacket and then disappeared back into the crowd.

The familiar roughness of Kunugigaoka's mountain path greeted Yuuji's shoes as he made his way up the hill. Well, this is more than a little unfair, he thought as the colors and noise from the "main" festival slowly faded behind him. Not two minutes later, another realization came to his mind. Yuuji frowned at the imposing trees and muddy landscape all around him. Huh. There didn't seem to be many decorations out here. Weird.

He stopped in his tracks. Then, after a moment of thought, Yuuji shrugged and continued on. Oh well. If this sixth sense alert meant that another rogue assassin was going to try to jump him, then they better make it quick. He was sick and tired of that.

Just before Yuuji started to get suspicious again, a white shape came into view. Upon getting a bit closer, it looked to be some kind of signpost. Once Yuuji finally stood in front of it, he peered down at the structure.

It was made from some sort of white stake, pushed securely into the ground with a plush heart hung on it like some sort of beanbag. And the heart was covered in…arrows? Yuuji's eyebrows tilted in confusion. He fought to keep his heart from speeding up as he looked at the gruesome sight, a dozen arrowheads buried deep within the rosy cushion. It looked like a miniature forest was sticking up from its flesh.

Yuuji could practically feel a sweatdrop animation on the back of his head. Maybe it was supposed to be some sort of Cupid thing? Yuuji shrugged and continued on.

As he went, Yuuji came across a few more of those weird Valentine's-themed posts. There was one with four robotic arms attached to it. A heart-shaped light on top whirred and flashed when Yuuji approached. He decided to stay out of its range, hurrying away as fast as he could. Then there was a signpost as morbid as death itself, black paint dripping down its formerly-white sides as if the maker had decided that darkness should be considered the true spirit of Valentine's Day. A somber arrangement of deep crimson roses, black tulips, and red spider lilies adorned the base. Yuuji shivered at the collection of death symbols.

Beyond those were an art-themed post, camouflaged so well that it nearly blended in with the mountainside, a post that seemed to be being used as a motorbike stand for the moment, and a post that simply read 'EAT AT MATSURAIKEN FAMILY RAMEN STAND' in big letters.

Huh. Yuuji glanced around in befuddlement. What was the deal with these signposts? They were simple and plain, at least by their main structure, and seemed intended to connect them to the main campus's festivities. But they were doing so in the faintest, most indirect way.

Anyway, Yuuji walked on. He had managed to time his visit so that he came right before school let out. Most of the students at the main courtyard had been there to hang out and enjoy the festival after class, but already the air was permeated with the feeling of going home. And as Yuuji walked up the path, a few students dressed in Kunugigaoka's uniform came strolling back the other way. They shot him a few strange looks, but nobody stopped him. Yuuji tugged on the brim of his hat. He would be surprised if any of them recognized him anyway—they hadn't seen him in months, and he was dressed slightly nicer than usual today.

At last, Yuuji reached the end. He waited near the wooden post that served as a gate, right before the final step into view of the school building. He shifted nervously on his feet. For a moment, he brought one hand up and placed it over a point inside his jacket, checking to make sure that a certain something was still there. Yes, it was. At last that hadn't gotten lost, despite all the jostling-

A short, green-haired girl passed by on Yuuji's left. A few seconds later, there was movement at the schoolhouse door. In a smear of blue and gray, Nagisa exited.

A grin broke out across Yuuji's face. He waved towards the boy. "Nagisa!"

The boy seemed lost in thought for a moment before he noticed Yuuji calling. Then his expression changed immediately. He gathered his bag underneath one arm, hurrying over to the wooden post.

"This is a surprise," Nagisa said, jogging over to Yuuji. "I didn't expect to see you again so soon. I mean," He blushed and glanced away. "Well, considering that we only just started d-dating officially."

Yuuji nodded. "I know. I just…had something I wanted to do."

"Mmkay." Nagisa adjusted the strap of his bag over his shoulder. "So how've you been?"

"Fine. You?"

"I'm doing fine too."

Silence fell for a few moments. "So, what is it?" Nagisa said at last. "Honestly, I'm surprised you haven't had enough of this place by now…"

Yuuji fidgeted, trying to swallow down his nervousness. "I know you've been super-busy with exams, lately," he started. "So have I. But here-"

He took a small box from the inside of his jacket and held it out towards Nagisa.

"I wanted to give you this," Yuuji said.

The package was covered in blue and silver wrapping paper that shone in the dull winter sunlight. The chocolates contained within were not handmade, which would have been the most significant, but they were hand-selected. Which was close enough. And with Yuuji's gourmet sense of taste, "hand-selected" meant a lot. The gift was of very high quality, and expensive, though not enough so as to make Nagisa feel bad about accepting them. Yuuji watched Nagisa's eyes widen as the boy recognized the crest of the company from a sticker on the box's surface.

"For me?" Nagisa breathed, holding the chocolates as if in a dream.

"Of course."

None of them spoke, but one other sensation was in the air. Yuuji knew what Nagisa was thinking—this was almost like an apology. Given that, in Japan, only girls were supposed to give gifts to guys on Valentine's Day, Yuuji might as well be putting himself in the "girlfriend" role right now. Which meant that Nagisa was in the more masculine role by default. Yuuji let his cheeks burn, but he kept his head held high. It was worth it. Consider this his way of telling Nagisa that, while he might have mistaken Nagisa for a girl at first, Yuuji mostly certainly did not do so now. And he could see from the look on Nagisa's face that Nagisa was highly complimented.

"But," Nagisa protested. "But I've already-"

"What?"

The boy's gaze flickered towards the school building and back. "Nothing. She'll understand."

Nagisa held the box close to his chest for a moment before putting it away inside of his school bag. When that was done, he glanced up at Yuuji and let out a nervous laugh. "Well, the world better survive past March 13th," he said. "I need to pay you back on White Day."

"Haha," said Yuuji. Then the actual meaning of Nagisa's words struck him. "What?"

"Nothing."

A faint voice sounded behind them, calling from a little ways down the mountainside.

Nagisa's expression became sheepish. "Whoops! That's Sugino. Sorry Yuuji," he apologized. "I said I'd walk back with him today. Um, we're best friends but haven't spent a lot of time together lately..."

"No problem," Yuuji said. He waved Nagisa off. "I understand. Go have fun. Just…enjoy," Yuuji added as Nagisa went past. "The gift, I mean."

Nagisa nodded and smiled at him, whispering "bye" as he passed.

Yuuji had just enough time to sigh before Nagisa's voice came again, from behind him this time. "Wait!"

Yuuji looked back over his shoulder.

The boy came trotting up to Yuuji's side. "I need to give you a reply gift. Don't wait up for White Day."

He stood up on tiptoes and gave Yuuji a peck on the cheek.

"Just in case!" Nagisa smiled. He waved and turned to go, this time for real.

Yuuji stood, slightly stunned. Eventually his mind started working again. He gave a small smile back, waving in return at the sight of Nagisa's retreating figure.

Heh-heh. Yuuji looked off into the distance for a moment, feeling the butterflies flutter in his stomach. Mission accomplished. Operation give-Valentine's-chocolate-to-his-boyfriend (his boyfriend! Yuuji's mind flooded with happiness at the thought) was secured. Eventually Yuuji turned to walk on back down the hill. He strode at a slower pace than usual, wanting to simply enjoy the happy buzzing feeling all around him. Two kisses on two meetings at the schoolhouse gate. He was on a roll.

"Hey."

A blunt, stern voice made Yuuji turn. A different boy had appeared at the wooden gatepost. He looked to be around Yuuji's age, standing at average height. His hair was as red as spilled blood.

The boy's pose was so casual, it was impossible to know when he had appeared at the gatepost. He might have just strolled up. He might have been there all along. Although his posture was lax, Yuuji spotted his hand curled at the ready around the strap of a schoolbag over his shoulder. The energy surrounding this guy felt…dangerous. Like he was the spark before a forestfire. And even worse, that he knew it. His golden eyes were sharp. His expression was serious. "You Nagisa's friend?"

"What? Uh, yeah. Sure," Yuuji fumbled. He fought to keep a straight face.

The boy's expression looked almost thoughtful. "Got a minute?"

"…Maybe?"

The red-haired boy nodded. He set off toward the school building. "Let's talk inside."

The new boy hadn't phrased it like a demand, but Yuuji felt herded inside the classroom anyway.

The air inside the classroom was cold. The main campus probably didn't want to spring for heating and other luxuries all the way out here, but it was still a bit of a surprise at first. Yuuji sat behind a desk, placed near the windows and second from the front. The brown wood stretched out in a square expanse in front of him. Briefly, Yuuji wondered if he was siting at Nagisa's desk. Nah, probably not. It didn't matter anyways.

The red-haired boy leaned up against the blackboard, observing Yuuji as if he was some sort of mildly interesting zoo animal. Yuuji tried to keep his expression even. So this was Karma Akabane.

Yuuji had heard just a little bit about him from Nagisa, who claimed to actually be the boy's friend-of-sorts. He was supposed to be clever, wickedly intelligent, and an absolute terror when it came to both starting and winning fights, all with a penchant for mischief. Apparently he had once been a bit of a delinquent as well. And oh god, that name. Yuuji suppressed a shudder. It almost felt like he was being shaken down by a philosophical concept.

Karma's amber eyes fixed him with a look.

"So," he said, nearly making Yuuji flinch with that one word alone. "You and Nagisa seem to be close. I assume you've stayed in contact a lot since you visited us in the Fall?"

He was talking about the food festival. Yuuji nodded. Karma gave a short nod to himself. "That explains a lot," he muttered.

Karma tilted his head back, hitting it against the blackboard. When he next opened his mouth, a surprisingly normal stream of questions poured out. Where do you live, how long have you known him, what do you like to do? And yet, all of them had the faint sense of orchestration behind them, as if pulled along by careful, invisible strings. But the moment Yuuji stopped thinking about it, the effect seemed to vanish. He couldn't comment on it. He couldn't even prove it was there.

So he answered. Yuuji told him briefly about his neighborhood, which school he went to, how it was sorta far from Kunugigaoka but that was fine, the trip wasn't that bad and by now he was used to it. Plus, it was worth it. He told him that Nagisa had given him his number, and that they had kept in touch via messaging. He told Karma about his food blog, which was still running, albeit barely, about the most recent video games he had played, about the cool media prep program at the high school that he wanted to go to. Subconsciously, Yuuji realized that most assassins could have probably found this stuff out surreptitiously, but Karma seemed to be the more direct type.

At long last, Karma looked Yuuji up and down. His nose wrinkled. "I don't get it," he said. "What does he see in you?"

Yuuji struggled to think. Eventually, an answer came to his lips. "I don't know," Yuuji admitted. He paused. "But whatever it is, I hope it's enough for him to stay."

"Pfft, I'll bet." Karma's voice had taken on a teasing tone. A gleeful glint shone in his eyes. "Ahh, young love, so fervent and yet so easily crushed. I bet you hope he'll stay with you forever, despite…"

Karma's hand shifted in his pocket. Yuuji caught sight of the tip of a smartphone before Karma's hand stilled. The other boy's grin froze for a second. He looked down at the device and frowned, as if rethinking something.

"What?" Yuuji asked. "What is it?"

Karma shook his head. "Nevermind."

"But man, you really don't care if you get in his way, do you?" Karma said with a drawl, stuffing the object back into his pocket. "I mean, if you've gone through all the effort to come here, that much is obvious."

Confusion flitted across Yuuji's face. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"You don't care if you distract him. You know he's in the middle of something important, and yet you're still willing to make him waste his time and look to the side at you. When what he should be focusing on is the main target."

"I'm not a distraction!" Yuuji protested. "A-At least, he doesn't treat me like one." Yuuji hung his head. "When I'm with Nagisa, he seems…so happy. He enjoys being with me, or at least I'm pretty damn sure he does. He looks," Yuuji searched for the words, "I guess this sounds kind of strange, but he looks so…alive? And if he's with me, I can at least work hard to make him look like that more often. To smile and really mean it, like he does."

Karma stared back at Yuuji for a moment, not even blinking.

Then he sighed. "Geez," Karma said. He ran one hand through his hair as if in exasperation. "You're so normal. Honestly, it practically reeks coming off of you." Karma's nose twitched as if he could smell what he was talking about.

Yuuji shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He couldn't say anything in his defense. He knew that Karma was right.

"I suppose it is a bit charming, given the background that we come from. But really, there's something that you need to know," Karma said, his voice becoming a sudden hiss. "I don't know how you think you deserve Nagisa," Karma said, stepping away from the blackboard and walking slowly around the edge of the teacher's podium. "I can tell—there's no way you've seen all of him."

"You've never seen his dark side, you know?" Karma said, advancing towards Yuuji. He stalked closer, past the first row of desks, leaning forward at the shoulders, moving like a panther. "You've never seen Nagisa serious. Never seen him scary, never seen him turn that trusting smile into a chilling smirk."

"You've only seen the lighter parts—the kindness, the laughter, the innocence," Karma continued. "The curiosity, the gentleness, the 'human' side. You've never seen his aura turn into a snake, never seen how those eyes grow cold and precise once they've found a weak point, never seen him from the other side of the knife. You've only thought about him taking people down, never seen how capable he actually is of doing it. A person can look a whole lot different when their knife is suddenly pointed towards you."

Karma paused for a moment to get his point across, his hand coming to the top of the desk for emphasis. Yuuji was held trapped in his gaze.

"So," Karma said in a voice solid as rock. "Why do you like him?"

Yuuji paused for a moment. When he spoke, his voice came as something quiet.

"He's, well…" Yuuji squirmed in his seat, his cheeks beginning to flush. "He's amazing, isn't he? I think he's cute, and he's really cool. He's always been there for me, but at the same time he doesn't live his life solely for other people. He's got his own hopes and dreams. And they're fun to watch. I just…think he's a really good person. He's smart and funny, and brightens up the whole room. Being around him is…well, I just enjoy it."

Karma blinked. Then, after a moment, he drew back, returning to his previous position by the board.

"Is…is that too shallow?" Yuuji asked at length.

"It's fine," Karma replied. "I understand now. You're his sanity."

He stood by the blackboard, turning to look back at Yuuji. "But be careful. That's a pretty big deal, being someone's designated sanity. Can you do that?"

Yuuji stared back at Karma. For a moment, he didn't speak. He hardly thought. Instead, he gathered all the courage he could muster and looked directly up at the red-haired boy. He nodded.

Karma scoffed, but moved languidly away. He hoisted his bag back over one shoulder.

"Eh, whatever. So long as he's happy," Karma said. He threw one hand up in a casual motion of farewell. "Just keep Nagisa safe. Remember, if you hurt him in any way, I'll kill you."

Yuuji tried to speak, but found that he could not. So he nodded vigorously. Silently, he thought to himself that he was pretty sure Nagisa was perfectly capable of taking revenge for himself anyway.

With the slide of a door, Karma left. All at once it was silent inside the classroom. The air seemed a lot more relaxed once the other boy was no longer in it.

Yuuji relaxed, letting go of tension that he didn't even realize he had. Well. That had happened.

The hint of a laugh escaped Yuuji. Heh. Glad to know that at the very least, he had karma on his side.

Chapter Text

It had been so long. There had been a chill that never seemed to fade, drifts of snow lingering at the roadside, nights that stretched on into fervent hope, days full of messages along with the occasional kiss, and months and months of their lives that slowly passed by, but finally, spring was on its way.

Yuuji could taste just a hint of it in the air. He felt a trace of it as he walked through the park with Nagisa, Yuuji's footsteps becoming lighter as if his body too could sense the subtle change towards warmth.

They walked together in the newly-reborn sunlight. Yuuji was wearing one of his normal outfits, plus a jacket from a high-class fashion outlet. Gotta keep up appearances. Beside him, Nagisa strode around in cargo pants and a light blue sweater. Somehow, the combination made him look adorable. The two of them weren't holding hands—they couldn't, someone might see. But somehow, Yuuji thought, he didn't mind it that much.

The two of them said no words. Silence stretched on through the park, scuffing up off of the dirt path and hovering in the space between the two of them and other people, the nearest stranger located many meters away. But it was a comfortable sensation. Not a nervous one. As it turned out, silence was not always something that needed to be filled.

For instance, as the two of them gradually rounded the next corner, Nagisa looked up at Yuuji and smiled. Yuuji felt his heart melt a little at the sight. He turned away so Nagisa wouldn't be able to tease him about his red-as-a-tomato blush. Not fair.

Yes, Yuuji thought, he loved Nagisa's smile. But he was beginning to love his kisses even more.

Eventually, Nagisa led them both to a secluded bench by a small pond. He sat down, Yuuji following after.

They sat for a minute, the sunlight reflecting off of the rippled water in front of them, the green crowns of trees reflecting and bleeding into the image. A few birds pecked around the water's edge on the opposite side.

All at once, Nagisa took a deep breath and let out a sigh. "We should be alone here," he said.

Yuuji nodded, distracted. Then the words caught up with him. Alone? Yuuji's heart thumped as his mind started working again with a flash. Just what was Nagisa hoping to do-

But the boy just looked up at the sky.

"Do you remember that day when the moon exploded?"

Yuuji blinked at Nagisa's words. A single expression flitted across Yuuji's face: Huh? But he too turned and looked up at the sky. Hanging there in the distance, smudged and pale against the expanse of blue horizon, was the crescent moon. That's right, Yuuji's thoughts whispered. The moon hadn't always looked like this.

It felt so long ago that it was hard to remember. But actually, Yuuji realized, it had only been around nine short months since the event. God, it was weird to see how fast humanity adjusted.

He remembered the day it had happened. Everyone running, screaming, traumatized, with an endless rush of people streaming by him and elbows jabbing into Yuuji's sides as he too instinctively ran for cover. There had been a sonic boom, rattling the very atmosphere itself, popping ears and knocking the elderly and infirm to the ground. Then came the sheltering in place, people going into silent, grim earthquake drill mode. Japan had preparations for earthquakes. But never anything like the destruction of the moon. Still, it seemed to be what people felt was right.

Once the sheltering was over, Yuuji remembered suddenly feeling like he had to go home, at once, immediately. He recalled the soreness of his feet after walking the dozens of kilometers it took to get back to his neighborhood, since the buses were all cancelled and the lines for trains were enormous. The warm arms of his mother once he finally stepped in the door. He honestly hadn't expected her to be home. Then later, the incessant ringing and buzzing of his phone, everybody wanting to check in with where their friends were, what was going on, did you see, hear, feel that too, oh god are you okay?

It hadn't just happened to Japan, though. The whole world had lost their moon.

In retrospect, they were lucky it had happened during the daytime, when most people were at work or school. Other nations experienced it at night, and got to see the final chunks of rock flying off, the outer mantle of the moon fizzling away when seen through a telescope lens and disintegrating into nothingness. Reports came in, the Internet soon filled with footage of people from other countries running and hiding as well. People assailed their governments, asking for an explanation, for a response, for something. But when nothing deadly happened and the world continued to spin through a few more days and nights, the fears began to die down. They always did.

Seventy percent, came the final reports. It was a mind-boggling amount. That was more than half. That was nearly three-quarters. It was the kind of change that might warp gravity, might shift an orbit. If it had happened on Earth, it might as well have meant the apocalypse, with all of the riot and damage that would occur on the remaining pieces alone. Seventy percent.

Scientists said that it was a miracle no cosmic-scale disaster happened in the wake of the event. Why the tides did not go out of whack when their greatest source of gravitational pull was depleted by seventy percent, why the quarter-rotation of the moon had not been disturbed, so that the Earth remained facing the exact same side of the moon as it had before, they could not answer. It had led to a deluge of new scientific theories. That was one thing, at least, the scientists admitted. The destruction of the moon had done much to reshape human understanding of the cosmos and its mind-boggling laws. If only such a level of progress could have been reached without needing to sacrifice the moon to get to it.

But at the end of all the panic, the message was clear. They would only be able to see a crescent moon for the rest of their lifetimes. It hung above them now in a sliver, not due to waxing or waning. It was simply like that all the time now. The moon, never again to be compared to a silver coin, hung in the sky forever wounded.

With a swooping sensation in his gut, Yuuji realized that soon there would be a generation of human beings that had never known anything different. There were children being born right now who would always grow up underneath a fingernail-shaped moon. They would think that was normal. In a hundred years, it would be. People would have to look at a picture of the full moon—round and glowing—in a textbook and choose for themselves if they wanted to believe that that past could have ever been possible. The thought made Yuuji feel like he was floating on air.

He remembered what his father had done on that day. And for many days after.

Yuuji's father had rushed to the studio, appearing on television once the frequencies had all been reset, being one of the first to offer a familiar face to the public. The man had gone to endless interviews, had hosted endless experts on his show, doing all he could to reach out to people and get the news out. And maybe, to comfort them.

Yuuji remembered sitting in the studio, his parents wanting to keep him near. He remembered his father's face, lines of stress carved down his cheeks, eyes beginning to droop at the edges with exhaustion, his hair styled but with a few strands loose. The haunted look in his father's eyes, empty with the stress of being an adult who, despite all his skills, could do nothing to stop or to reverse what had just happened. But also, the presence of grim determination. In that moment, he had looked over at Yuuji and smiled. Smiled even when no one else could.

The media had helped, also. Yuuji remembered the endless swarm of people around his father, jabbering into phones and sitting at their desks, furiously typing up reports and bringing the people updates with every second that new information was revealed. He watched them as they clicked and clattered away. At times, the media was an industry accused of sensationalism. But for now, they were the public's only ears to what was really going on.

It was one of the few times Yuuji could actually remember feeling proud of his father.

"Yeah," Yuuji said, his voice rough with memories. "I do remember."

Nagisa was quiet for a second. Then he spoke. "There's something I should have told you long ago. It's been a while, and well…you've become so involved in all of this, you deserve to know."

"You're not allowed to tell anyone that I told you, though," he addressed Yuuji. Nagisa held out his hand, one finger extended for a pinky swear. "Promise?"

Yuuji looked at the hand for one second and then hooked his pinky with Nagisa's. "Promise," he said, and shook.

And so Nagisa began.

Yuuji listened as Nagisa told him about the bizarre, awful bargain that his class had been offered at the beginning of the year. About what all of their training, special weapons, and razor-sharp focus on "assassination" had really been for. About the collaboration of multiple nations that had been going on being the world's back. About how Class E's skills had lead them into numerous times of trouble and had gotten them back out again. About how their target for the past almost-a-year had actually been their teacher.

And about how there was a giant yellow octopus that was going to destroy the world.

At the end of it all, Yuuji stared at Nagisa, eyes wide. "Are you serious?" he said, voice gone weak.

Nagisa nodded. His gaze was calm, steady and as open as the sky itself. A small smile was on his face. He looked already well-prepared for Yuuji's shocked response. For a moment, it reminded Yuuji almost exactly of how Yuuji had seen him once long ago, the two of them sitting in the space behind the Class E building, Nagisa having just said something that flipped Yuuji's entire world upside down, gazing gently towards him and saying in response to his protests, 'Do I look like I'm lying?'

Yuuji grit his teeth. Dammit. He looked just as honest as he did back then. Yuuji had no choice but to believe him.

Privately, Yuuji felt the resistant side of him flop down, defeated. In fact, if he was being honest with himself, he already did believe Nagisa. But a flying monster teacher that moved at Mach 20? A mass of sentient tentacles that was capable of blowing up the Earth? A national secret calmly showing up to teach homeroom? Kids being taught murder techniques at their middle school for 9 months? It felt necessary to give something so crazy the amount of skepticism that it deserved.

"So…there's some kind of giant octopus-creature?" Yuuji said, feeling his thoughts bubble on the edge of hysteria. Dimly, he realized that his eyes were focused on nothing, his fingers digging into the bench besides him.

"Yup."

"And that's what you've been fighting this entire time?"

"Yup."

"And when the energy in his body finally runs out, he'll take seventy percent of the Earth with him? Like the moon?"

"Yup."

Then Nagisa shrugged. "I mean, he might not explode," the boy said. "There's only something like a 1% chance of it actually happening. But lots of other organizations don't know that." He frowned. "And something tells me it's not going to be that easy. Besides, no matter what, all of this will end somehow. We can't just ignore our deadline." Then, in a softer voice, "I doubt he would let us."

Yuuji barely heard the boy's words. His mind had gone foggy, capable of holding only those thoughts of most importance and panic. He could feel himself start to hyperventilate. "And you have to kill this thing? In how many months?"

"Uh…well, less than one," Nagisa admitted. "Our deadline is in March."

Yuuji blinked. The pressure that had been building up inside of him seemed to burst at Nagisa's words, leaking out slowly in something that he was sure that, had it been audible, would have almost certainly sounded like high-pitched screaming.

The entirety of all of his hopes and dreams seemed to close in on Yuuji all at once. He felt the weight of the world—cities, discoveries, human progress, human lives—come down heavy on his back. It would all be destroyed. In an instant, one day, when he was least expecting it, it was all going to vanish. In a flash, just like the moon. They would all be consigned to nothingness. All at once, his plans past March shattered and broke, disappearing into something pointless. He had been going to go to high school. He had been going to meet new people, see new places. He had been going to live out his entire life, but now…

The end of the world…

"Woah!" Nagisa grabbed Yuuji's shoulder and held him steady. "Are you okay? Not gonna faint, are you?"

Yuuji gulped. For some reason, the concern in Nagisa's voice irked him. So what if he did? That would be the sensible thing to do.

"No," he said instead, waving Nagisa off. "I'm fine. Well, not fine, obviously, but as fine as it gets. For now, I mean. Considering that the world won't be fine. Soon. Oh dear god…"

Nagisa nodded. He kept one hand on Yuuji's back. The feeling was reassuring. "It's a lot to take in," he admitted. "I guess my classmates and I are just used to it by now. But don't worry. We're all aware of what's at stake. The only thing I can promise is that we're prepared to put everything that we've learned to the test. We haven't spent the whole year in an Assassination Classroom for nothing."

Silence fell for a few minutes, the pond stretching out in a calming blue before them, a brief wind rustling through the trees, the sunlight suddenly feeling even more sweet where it touched Yuuji's skin.

It was all so…alive. Yuuji never wanted it to end.

"Nagisa…" he spoke. "This is the craziest thing I've ever heard. But," Yuuji took a deep breath. "But I trust you."

"You can do it," he said, seeing Nagisa's expression change to surprise out of the corner of his eye. "You and all your friends. I…I believe in you." He took the boy's hand and squeezed.

Nagisa's expression was one of pure astonishment for a moment. Then it softened, a grateful smile dawning across his face. "Thank you," Nagisa said, and it sounded like he meant it. He leaned into Yuuji's side, resting his head against Yuuji's shoulder. "You know, if this doesn't work out, or if…something unthinkable happens, I'm glad that I met you. If I hadn't had your support, this would be a lot harder."

He pulled away from Yuuji's shoulder and smiled back at him. "I look forward to seeing you on the other side of this."

Yuuji just nodded. "Yeah," he whispered around a sudden blockage in his throat.

The two of them discussed things for a while. They talked about how Nagisa would focus on saving the world full-time now, with the deadline approaching. They talked about how, no matter what happened, Yuuji would not—could not—tell a single soul. And this time, Yuuji understood. He understood completely—this was not something with which he could get in Nagisa's way, not something with which he could play heroics. This was the most important moment in Nagisa's story, and if Yuuji's only role was to be the motivation needed to get through to the other side, he would gladly be so.

They discussed what to do if things didn't go as planned. What to do if it all went sour, if another assassin team was brought in, if the world's governments got involved. They discussed all that they could.

When all that could be said was said, and all that could be felt was felt, and when Yuuji was just maybe actually starting to accept the idea of a Mach 20 flying spaghetti sensei into his long-term memory, they at last stood and left the bench. Together they finished their walk, walking a bit closer to each other than they had been before. The ends of their sleeves brushed.

They said goodbye at the entrance to the park, Nagisa needing to go home a different way than where Yuuji was headed. Just before they parted, Yuuji held up one hand and extended his pinky finger, winking as if to remind Nagisa that he would keep his promise. Nagisa stifled a laugh at the sight.

Then he turned and was gone.

Yuuji stood alone by the park gates, content just to stare at the world around him for a moment. As scary as all this was, he couldn't help but feel the distinct sense of release somewhere inside his heart. All secrets had been revealed. Something which had always been hidden behind a tightly-vaulted door was now open. And as he watched the blue-and-white form of Nagisa fade into the distance, Yuuji realized that he couldn't think of any other hands that he would rather place the world in.

A sigh escaped Yuuji. So, that was it, huh? The end of the world, always a plot device in books or movies, was now just a moment's breath away. He looked up once more at the permanent-crescent moon.

Then Yuuji brought his gaze back down. He moved, walking off and heading out of the park. One thing was for sure. He was going to spend some time with his family.

Chapter Text

The night air was cool against Yuuji's cheeks, and the world outside was quiet. He shivered beneath his combination of jacket and sweater, but given that the weather was moving toward spring, the chill wasn't so bad anymore. He had that to be thankful for, at least. All around him was darkness. The shadows took the form of looming buildings and hushed trees, branches hanging in stilled silence. He could hardly see his own limbs, moving as solid blocks against the dark. Apart from the dim streetlights that illuminated sections of the sidewalk, everything existed in shades of blue or black.

It was near the end of the month. Near the end of everything. The end of their studies, of the freest part of their youth, of their final year as middle school students. And in the most quiet way, the end of something else also seemed to hang in the air. Yuuji put the thoughts out of his mind and continued on.

He had come here tonight because of a letter.

It had appeared on his desk without announcement or ceremony, with no address or return location included either. It simply appeared one moment while his back was turned. There had been a slight rustle of curtains at the window, the glass pane left open a crack. Yuuji had looked, but there was nothing to see.

Dear Sir Norita, the letter said in impeccable, formal handwriting. Honestly, only upon close inspection had Yuuji been able to see that it wasn't actually typed. If it pleases you, make your way to Kouen park tonight, before the hour of midnight strikes. We have limited time. And there is much I wish to discuss.

Signed, the homeroom teacher of Class E.

In any other circumstances the letter would have been suspicious, but something about the message put Yuuji at ease. Besides, it had mentioned Class E. Anything involving Nagisa's secret assassination-training-class was something that indirectly involved Yuuji too.

Yuuji walked through the park. He glanced up at a public clock, set up on a pole like the streetlamps waiting outside the fence boundary. It was around the time that the mysterious letter had specified. Stars twinkled weakly overhead—whichever ones could shine bright enough to make it through the city smog, at least. The air tasted of stillness and dewdrops.

Yuuji tugged at the brim of his ever-present cap while he watched the sky. Staying out this late was easy for a rich kid like him—all he had to do was make the excuse of going clubbing, and no one would care. It wasn't like his parents checked what time he got home.

Eventually, the soft trickling noises of the park fountain caught Yuuji's attention. The fountain waited not far off to one side, burbling in the center of the main clearing. A soft strip of grass separated the edge of it from a low, brick divider. The divider looked inviting enough to sit on. Yuuji's gaze came back to it after a quick, casual glance around. Maybe he should sit here and wait for the letter-sender to arrive-

"Ahh, so you're the young Mister Norita," said a voice.

Yuuji whirled around to find a person standing behind him. What the… They hadn't been there before! Wait, no- Yuuji blinked. Was that even a person?

The being stood tall, well over the height of a standard doorway. They wore large black robes that draped in order to hide their figure. Beneath the robes was a white dress shirt and a necktie that, strangely enough, had a symbol on it in the shape of a crescent moon. The robes had subtle decoration, marked with purple stripes and two dangling orange add-ons sweeping over their shoulders. A graduation cap and tassel perched on their scalp. They had an enormous head that was perfectly round and bobbled a bit like a soap bubble when they moved. Their skin was yellow even underneath the dim light of the stars.

As Yuuji watched, long, bulbous tentacles unfolded from the outline of a person and began waving leisurely in the air. This new arrival had shown up in a parting of atoms, in the space between moments, with less sound than Yuuji's own heartbeat.

If the breath hadn't already rushed out of Yuuji's lungs, he would have screamed.

"That boy from the summer island trip," the monstrous creature spoke. "They were right, you really did show up again. Nurufufufu…how interesting."

Yuuji felt his skin crawl at the strange sound of the being's laughter.

"Who would have thought back when I sent in that request for the ramen restaurant that it would end up bringing the two of you together?" the creature mused. It shook its colossal head. "All I knew was that my students were doing their extra credit assignment there, and that you might still be in the area…but somehow the two of you managed to find each other again."

The being held up one lumpy finger with a cheeky smile. "You know? When the two of you were at the school festival, I remember watching from up on the rooftop, in the mouth of a fish statue. Good times. And Nagisa seemed to enjoy being with you more than you might think. So as his devoted teacher, there was no way I wouldn't keep an eyestalk out for you."

Suddenly there was a flicker of movement. Somehow, the creature had changed into glasses and a neatly-combed wig. It clutched a tiny notepad and pen close to its face, quivering and jittering over them with all the excitement of a perverted romance novelist. "Nyuya!" it cried. "Yes, the budding school-age romance of an assassin-in-training and a media-tycoon heir, their relationship forbidden, one from the regular side of life and one from the high; a modern Cinderella tale, a genderbent magical girl trope, young talent falling hard for weary normality… Nurufufufufufu, my heart races to think of it! I could read a whole story based on this concept!"

Yuuji felt his features fall deadpan. Um.

He spoke. "E-excuse me. You're…you're him, aren't you?" Yuuji said, barely knowing where the words came from.

The creature's slithering laughter died out. A certain spark twinkled for a moment within its black eyes. The wig and other props disappeared with soft sweeps of its tendrils. "Yes," it replied, refocusing on Yuuji. "I am the mysterious superbeing responsible for the destruction of the moon. The ultimate destructive organism, the world's foremost international secret, natural menace to the Earth…"

The creature doffed the tassled cap on top of its head. "—otherwise known as Class E's homeroom teacher. My students call me Korosensei. I politely request that you do so as well."

Korosenai-sensei, the pun completed itself in the back of Yuuji's mind. Unkillable-teacher.

Yuuji found that he couldn't formulate a reply.

"My most humble thanks for meeting me here tonight," the creature said to him with a bow. "I would have loved to do this at our beloved classroom, but I wouldn't want to inconvenience you any further. Besides, it is my understanding that you've formed plenty of precious memories of that place already."

The being looked up, face flushing light pink with what looked like pride. "So. That school. What do you think of it?"

Yuuji swallowed in order to clear his throat. "It's…it's good," he settled. "A good school, but made much better by the people there. A place to hold one's memories, and keep them even after you've left the place, with room to explore and yet focus. It's…a good base from which to grow."

The creature gave a quiet grin. "I am glad," it said at last. "The more people who can remember it for me, the better."

It stood up and stretched before Yuuji could ask the being what it meant.

"Oh, by the way, thank you for not making a scene," the creature said off-handedly. It spread out its tentacled arms. "I decided we should do this at night because I wanted to show you my true form. Not many other people know about this, you know? But for such a 'close friend' of the E Class, I felt like certain exceptions could be made."

"Phew," the creature sighed, its mouth opening slightly to show flat, tombstone-blunt teeth. "It's exhausting having to wrap things up, isn't it? But I wanted to do right by my students in every way possible."

"Every way…?" Yuuji muttered to himself. He couldn't imagine any of his teachers going this far.

"Yup. Every way." The octopus-creature grinned. "And that includes safeguarding their love lives."

Yuuji felt a chill crawl up the back his neck. Now his face was the next one to turn pink.

"O-oh. Is that why you're here?" Yuuji asked, glancing away from the creature as if he already knew the answer.

The superbeing looked right at him with a smile that never seemed to change. Its face slowly colored to form the image of a double-circle: the grade marking for "correct answer". "Of course!" it chirped. "I needed to wish you good luck. And give you my blessing. And encourage you to keep supporting Nagisa with all you have."

Yuuji blinked. He couldn't have heard that right.

The monster took a half-step (half-slide? –slither? –splurp?) closer on six of its feet-tentacles until it stood right in front of Yuuji. Then the being started rattling off a multitude of instructions, most of which Yuuji couldn't keep track of and didn't really care to know, including everything from the most popular date spots to proper courting etiquette, to possible gift ideas for Nagisa in the future, to the importance of communication and trust between people in a romance, the status of a relationship like theirs in Japan, and some explanation about how to be safe when doing certain activities that Yuuji really didn't think they would be doing until they were adults, and also the fact that apparently most of this was written in 'Nagisa's student end-of-year guidebook' for easy reference.

What the hell? Yuuji thought, the majority of his mind spinning. This was way over-the-top and overwhelming. But he couldn't deny the warm feeling that arose in his chest at the octopus's rapid-fire words, all of them laced with concern, with encouragement, with oh-wait-one-more-thing. It was nice. It was a nice feeling.

After reaching the end of its speech, the creature regarded Yuuji silently for a moment. Then it chuckled. "I must admit, I never predicted that you would be the one to whom Nagisa would give his heart," it said. "But you seem nice. A little spoiled and unpolished, perhaps, but I sense a good heart lurking beneath all that."

The creature gazed at Yuuji with a glowing, sunbeam-yellow expression. "He's grown so fond of you over this past half-year," the being said. "I'm beginning to wonder if you managed to teach him the importance of one's humanity, as someone once did for me. If so, then you've given him the greatest gift of all."

Yuuji didn't fully understand, but the light sensation in his chest seemed to grow to bursting. All of a sudden, Yuuji knew that it didn't matter whether or not he was able to understand, or even if he was able to remember the teacher's words. The teacher's presence—now that was something that felt like it would last.

"Mister Norita," the being said suddenly, clapping its front tentacle-hands together. Yuuji's back instinctively straightened at the tone in its voice. "Although I am a teacher, I cannot do everything alone. As human beings, we are never fully separate from one another. Sometimes, we must rely upon others to teach the lessons that need to be taught."

"And the most important lesson of all is Love." The creature's front tentacles curled up into a yellow heart. "Do you understand, young man? Will you continue with that lesson even when I am gone?"

Yuuji nodded, wordlessly. His throat had gone dry.

The creature nodded. "Good." Its affirmation sounded impossibly self-satisfied, as if it knew that Yuuji would keep his word.

"Then, I wish you two the best." The creature's grin stretched even wider if such a thing were possible. One tentacle swiftly snuck into its robes to retrieve something, then emerged to hold up a notebook marked 'Class Pairings'. "Also, you make an adorable couple."

Before Yuuji could respond, the creature's front right tentacle shot out to brush once against the side of Yuuji's cap. "Take care of him for me," came the creature's voice.

Yuuji could tell that those words meant something. They were Important.

Yuuji bowed his head in a nod. He didn't answer. He didn't need to. All was self-evident.

The night air was cool, and the world outside was quiet. Around them was nothing but blue and black shadows, darkness, and the taste of dewdrops. Tentacles swayed in the wind, and thick robes flapped. Above them both hung the pale sliver of a moon reduced by seventy percent, now a permanent crescent. Although now that Yuuji looked at it again, the shape of it almost reminded him of two arms stretched out to hold someone. It was the same curve as the octopus-like being's smile. Somehow, it was a shape that Yuuji had already gotten used to.

Then, in a sonic burst, a gust of wind blew about him.

And the creature was gone.

Chapter Text

After that, things got crazy.

The deadline approached with unfettered swiftness. Eventually Yuuji stopped checking the calendar, letting the days pass away and just resigning himself to whatever fate the universe would bring. The crisp air of March settled across the city.

And then one afternoon, a spear of light shot down from the sky.

Nagisa and all of his Class E friends were taken away. It was almost scary how closely events matched their hypothetical conversation in the park, how quickly the safeguards they had talked about were being put to the test. But Yuuji remembered his promise, lying low and playing his part: simply trusting that everything would be okay. It was in Nagisa's hands now. Yuuji didn't hear from the boy for about a week, but that was okay. Yuuji knew the reason behind it now.

In an instant, the existence of the moon-destroying superbeing was revealed to the world. It only took one press conference. Yuuji had to sit and watch as the news unfolded all over TV, across the internet, between people muttering to each other on the streets. The hardest part of all was being with his parents and having to react as if this was the first time Yuuji had ever heard of it.

People held their breath, prayed, and cried, but the fated date approached anyway. For the entire duration of March 13th, all eyes were fixed on the backwoods mountain.

And the deed was done. The public was not told exactly how, but everyone saw the final flash. Everyone had spotted the shimmer that marked the cage made of light. Everyone read the news reports of the super-satellite-weapon that had been hanging overhead all along. The world governments had cooperated, just as they said they had. And they were victorious, just as they said they would be.

For a moment, Yuuji was worried that the E Class hadn't gotten a chance to complete their secret, all-important mission. But one text from Nagisa a few days later, seeing his face included among those in a photo of his school's graduating class, Yuuji could tell it had gone well. He had always been good at judging faces.

And Nagisa's genuine smile was all Yuuji needed to see.

The world began to turn back to normality. Conversations descended into international controversy after that, countries now arguing over the satellite superweapon. The fact that the beam wasn't harmful to human life didn't seem to make people any calmer about having a large laser looming over their heads. What were the moral implications of owning such a device? Who would control it? Which nation did it belong to? they asked. Concern that the device might be used as a weapon in future wars led to widespread outrage that momentarily united the globe in calling for the satellite's disposal. Amazingly, the world's leading nations began to relent. But should the satellite be dismantled and shipped back from space or left in orbit as trash? Squabbling and struggling, the world began the process of picking itself back up again, just as it always had.

Meanwhile, Kunugigaoka academy was placed under huge scrutiny. Yuuji read something about the A-D system being abolished, and the principal resigning for having housed the moon-destroying creature for almost a year, although the principal sure didn't seem apologetic in his televised announcement. Despite himself, Yuuji felt a prick of sadness upon realizing that this meant it really was the end. There would never be another E Class.

But that was alright. The school would survive. It had already fulfilled its most important mission, after all.

The vacation after the end of middle school was the best time of Yuuji's life so far. With no classes and no rules, he and Nagisa had each other entirely to themselves on some days. They went everywhere, on dates or checking out a food place Yuuji had been called to, and nowhere, just sitting around or spending hours on a mix of movies and video games. Yuuji got to know Nagisa's lips so well he felt as if he could almost memorize their shape.

Yuuji did his best to make sure Nagisa was okay. But even so, he respected Nagisa and Class E enough to not ask much about Korosensei. From the way the former students were quiet about it, and the way they all kept their anti-sensei knives hidden in their bags, Yuuji figured the octopus-teacher still hadn't really left them. But he didn't ask, for fear that talking about the event would just the pain worse. That story was their burden to bear. Not his.

Nagisa ended up attending the high school of Keio-Affiliated. Being on a university-associated program was tough, but he assured Yuuji that it was the school he had chosen. Meanwhile, Yuuji just went to the high school that his parents had always expected to pay for. A whole year went by. Another approached.

But it was fast, all so fast. While at one point a week couldn't go by without memories filling and piling up in Yuuji's head, months now began to pass in what felt like a blink. Now that Yuuji thought about it, maybe their relationship had always been just as quick. Six months—how much time was that really, to get to know one another? To undergo the tests of life, to stick together?

Maybe that was why.

They found themselves growing distant. It wasn't anything intentional on either side. In fact, Yuuji almost didn't realize it until later. He found himself caught up in his own life, Nagisa probably in his, both of them squeezed between the new demands of maturity and their new environments. Their schools were farther apart. It was more difficult now to meet by train. Time was becoming a more and more limited resource.

They still had their phones, of course, and the internet, but conversations didn't feel quite the same without the other person standing next to you. It became too easy to lose contact. Too easy to mistake someone's tone for distracted, disinterested. Too easy to intend to send a message and then forget until a week later. They were growing up. Their minds were shifting. They kept being asked what kind of adults they planned on becoming. And middle school felt a world away.

Things just felt altered now. After what happened with the creatu- with Korosensei, everybody needed to recover. And sometimes, people recovered in different ways.

He should have known something was up when Nagisa showed signs of not wanting to attend Keio High's end-of-year class event. He should have known something was off when the boy sighed during one of their last meetings, tilting a chopstick in his hand and drilling the tip slightly into the top of the wooden table. Like a knife. Like he was missing something.

When their high school graduation approached, and it came time to choose careers, Nagisa's messages fell quiet. Somehow, Yuuji never managed to hear what he had decided on.

The interim between high school and the rest of their lives came and went.

Right before Yuuji left for college, Nagisa's communication lines went dark. It was alright; things like this had happened before, and the two of them hadn't talked much for a while anyway, so it took a bit for the realization to sink in. Yuuji just had the faint sense that Nagisa was going somewhere, had a certain kind of path in mind. But as long as Nagisa was happy, doing something that he loved, using skills that he was proud of using, that was what was important.

Or so Yuuji thought. But he never spoke up about it. And never knew why he didn't. Maybe it was something like having faith Nagisa would return soon. Maybe it was something like not wanting to hold the other boy back. Maybe it was something like having his own life to live in the meantime. Maybe it was something else. Either way, in retrospect, that moment might have been what Yuuji regretted most.

And so Nagisa Shiota slowly faded out of Yuuji's life.