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The fireworks eventually came to an end and the radiant colours gave way to the night sky, powerful bangs gave way to quiet farewells between two groups. The Doctor, followed by Yaz and Dan, stepped their way through the rubble of the fallen storage facility towards the only intact thing left around - a deep blue police box that looked brand new, significantly less cracked and lacking the menacing luminescence than the group had been faced with before.
The Doctor immediately ran her hand over the door of the box as she reached it, faintly talking to herself - or the TARDIS, Yaz was often left unsure on who exactly the Doctor was talking to. Dan nudged Yaz and when she looked at him, he nodded towards the Doctor and raised his eyebrows.
Yaz took a hesitant step forward - partially due to the flickering fire on her left and right and the sheer instability of the stone (and god knows what else) beneath her feet, but mostly because she didn’t want to interrupt the trance the Doctor was in. Tripping over a steel rod and setting off a tiny avalanche of rubble seemed like a surefire way of generating enough noise to do that.
She needn’t have worried though, because with the next step forward Dan kicked part of a Dalek casing which created a noise that ricocheted off the piles of rubble, very effectively destroying the peace. The Doctor turned, attention snapping away from the TARDIS, and Dan offered, “great acoustics?” somewhat sheepishly.
“Think I preferred the fireworks, myself,” the Doctor responded before nodding to herself, turning back to the TARDIS and slowly pushing open the door. Yaz and Dan followed her inside slowly and stopped just inside the door.
“Look at you.” The Doctor exhaled and raised her arms, “So much better!”
This time, Yaz thought absently as she and Dan followed the Doctor towards the console, she was definitely talking to the TARDIS. She did that a lot.
“Thanks for looking after us,” the Doctor continued with a grin as she circled the console, “if you did. Quite mysterious, really.”
Yaz took a measured breath and caught her eye, “what did you mean? When you said your actions were catching up with you?” It was a question of curiosity, but her concern was present nevertheless.
The Doctor paused, mouth open and glanced slightly to the left, and responded “nothin’!” before shrugging slightly. “Nothin’. I don’t remember. I say lots of things. We all say lots of things we don’t mean.”
Dan cut in pointedly with, “and some we do.”
Yaz couldn’t help a small smile at the reminder of their earlier conversation and the thought that well…maybe they would get that conversation on the beach now after all.
Before her thoughts could wander too far, the Doctor drew her attention back, “d’you know what I’ve always wondered? The Lost Treasure of the Flor de la Mar. Whatever happened to that? Shall we go have a look?”
Yaz chuckled slightly under her breath, on one hand, she’d possibly overestimated the likelihood of getting that conversation on the beach, on the other hand, it was just so classically The Doctor to spring to a topic like that that she couldn’t bring herself to mind too much at that particular moment.
The Doctor pulled the lever down and away they went.
—
Dan groaned as they reentered the TARDIS, “treasure shoulda stayed lost, I’m no richer for finding it but I am significantly more exhausted. As soon as I find the bedrooms, I’m knockin’ out.”
Yaz flopped down by the console and rubbed her face, listening to the Doctor flitting around chattering about the not-so-lost-anymore Treasure of the Flor de la Mar excitedly. There’d been…nothing in it. No wonder it’d been lost, it wouldn’t be anywhere near as famed if people learned it contained nothing. Empty treasure is only interesting to the Doctor, seemingly. Yaz wasn’t as tired as Dan, although she suspected he was just removing himself from the room, but she wouldn’t mind a nap right about now. A nap would be nice.
“Yaz?”
She looked up to notice the Doctor fidgeting by the console, “yeah?”
“Think you’re too tired for a short trip, just us two? You won’t need to do any more trekking, promise, just step outside with me for a few minutes.” The Doctor was leaning in to examine something on the console, seemingly very interested in not looking at Yaz directly which only piqued her interest.
“Nah, I’m not even that tired anyway,” which was a blatant lie but she continued, “I can wait a little longer to rest. I’d love to go with you.” Anywhere, she just stopped herself from saying. I’d love to go with you anywhere. It was the truth.
The Doctor met her eyes this time and just looked for a moment before nodding and pulling the lever, sending the TARDIS off to…somewhere. Their destination.
As the TARDIS settled, Yaz became increasingly aware of the ache in her legs from the sheer amount of walking they’d done on the last trip. It wouldn’t stop her from getting up and walking out those doors, but she needed to gather a little mental energy first.
Before she even started trying to convince herself to stand, an open hand appeared in her vision and she followed the arm up with her eyes, meeting the Doctor’s before grabbing her hand gratefully. The Doctor helped pull her up but didn’t let go of her hand, instead, she rearranged her grip and gently dragged Yaz towards the doors, uncharacteristically silent. Yaz didn’t say anything, just watched as she pulled open the doors.
Light flooded in, blinding at first but that was only because she hadn’t seen the sun properly in…days, probably. It’d been nothing but storms on the trail of the lost treasure. She could feel the wind blowing gently and hear…what sounded like the ocean, or at the very least some kind of water, not crashing but gentle rhythmic rushing. She took a deep breath and fresh air with a hint of sea salt washed through her lungs. They were at the ocean.
As her eyes adjusted, beautiful golden sand filled her vision. She gazed in awe. It must’ve been low tide wherever they were, the ocean was further down the beach still, quite some way from the top. It was a gorgeous blue, interspersed with white as the small waves broke on the shore. Peeking out, the sun was only just beginning to rise. The beach was illuminated, but only by the weakest rays of light. It was already warm, but far from stifling stifling.
Finally, she turned around to find the Doctor, only to find her missing. She clenched the hand the Doctor had been holding, it felt empty. She looked behind her when she heard footsteps. The Doctor had shed her cloak and was carrying two shovels, one in each hand. Yaz’s face scrunched slightly in confusion but smoothed out moments later, “we’re going to talk, yeah?”
The Doctor softly responded affirmatively, before grinning, “but first, we need to dig!”
If digging a hole was what it took to get their conversation on the beach then she’d dig twenty of them, but at the same time… “Why?” And then she looked upwards and took a deep breath, “please don’t tell me there’s more treasure, please.”
The Doctor laughed slightly, “no more treasure, Yaz, just trust me.”
Yaz toed off her shoes and followed the Doctor out of the TARDIS because she did trust her, wholeheartedly.
The sand beneath her feet was warmer than she was expecting for the time of day, it was nice after all the walking she’d been doing and she just stopped for a moment to curl her toes in and appreciate the feeling. It was soft sand, slightly damp still this close to the water but not unpleasant at all.
When she started to move again, the Doctor was already busy digging a shallow hole a little closer to the waves, but not close enough for the ocean to rush in. Yaz allowed herself to look for just a few moments, to breathe in the contentment the scenery so generously offered her, and breathe out the love and affection that was bubbling over as her eyes never left the Doctor. She seemed to struggle at first, concentrating entirely on figuring out the best way to dig in the soft sand. Yaz could’ve watched for eternity, with the sun highlighting her so softly and beautifully. She forced herself to walk over and follow the Doctor’s lead, making the hole wider but not too much deeper.
As they dug, water started seeping up from out of the sand, filling the hole as they went. The Doctor dipped a foot in, shoes discarded at some point when Yaz hadn’t been looking, and she hummed happily to herself. Yaz watched with a fondness in her eyes before shaking herself out of it and continuing to dig. She started to lose herself in the repetitive motion of sinking the shovel in, and throwing sand away behind her. They’d never get anywhere if she kept looking over at the person next to her.
It felt like not long after when a hand met hers on top of the spade and she stopped to look up. The Doctor was right next to her, a little closer than she’d usually stand. “Doctor?”
“That’ll do. It’s big enough now. Here, come sit.” She patted a beach towel she’d gotten from…the TARDIS at some point, presumably. It was laid out on the side of the hole, the dark blue a nice contrast to the slightly murky water still rising from the sand. The Doctor offered Yaz her hand again and Yaz took it, stepping into the hole to sit comfortably and just about groaned out loud.
If the sand felt good then this was just indescribable. The water was hot, not cold like she’d been expecting or even slightly warmed, it could only be described as hot like a spa pool. On her sore feet and calves, it was like heaven. Realising she’d just stopped, she turned herself to sit next to the Doctor and ended up leaning on her slightly.
Perhaps she was a little more tired than she was willing to admit to herself, but the digging certainly hadn’t helped anything.
The Doctor shuffled a little closer until Yaz’s head was resting on her shoulder and she wrapped her right arm around her waist, very lightly. Yaz just contented herself in the feeling, watching the rising sun for a few minutes in silence, appreciating what the Doctor offered. She was warm, but the gentle breeze kept her from overheating, and there’s nowhere she’d rather be.
She’d almost started drifting off to sleep when the Doctor finally spoke. “I’ll tell you everything later. We’d be here until the sun was high in the sky if I started now and I think you’d be asleep by then. I will tell you later though. I promise, Yaz. But I did…I do want to say something now. Here. Like this.” The Doctor paused some like she was gathering her thoughts.
Yasmin let her, not moving her head, just moving her right hand to cover the Doctor’s to show she was listening, “go on. When you’re ready.” It sounded perfect to her. She was too tired to feel particularly anxious about what was about to be said. She just relaxed into the Doctor more and trusted her.
“I’ve lost a lot. I’m tired of losing people. Tired of growing attached only to know it won’t end well. I’m tired. I’ve lived a long life and despite this, despite what I know, I never seem to learn any better in this area. I don’t know why, sometimes I’m certain I’d be better off if I would just learn for once. The amount of pain I’ve suffered at the hands of my heart… It’s unquantifiable, simply put. And yet…” here the Doctor paused and Yaz felt her turn her head to rest her cheek on Yaz’s head. “Yet when I look at you, Yasmin Khan, I can’t help but thank every deity in existence for my inability to learn.”
Yaz’s breath caught and her heart stilled.
The Doctor sighed. “It is so, so much easier to keep people at an arm’s length, to protect myself, to just try not to think about it. It’s not just easier, it’s safer for me. But sometimes it becomes so apparent, or well, someone tells you your own feelings directly,”
Yaz huffed out a laugh. She knew the feeling.
“That you can’t not think about it. So you do. You think about it once and there’s no going back to before. Because now you know what you could have if you opened yourself up…and I swear on all the stars scattered around the universe, it feels beyond worth it. It’s not even a question anymore. If there is pain down the track then that is payment I’d gladly make.”
Yaz pulled her head back to meet the Doctor’s eyes, her own slightly teary. She wasn’t foolish enough to think she’d live forever, and out of the two of them, her lifespan was monumentally shorter. It was part of why she’d never really admitted her feelings to herself, she didn’t want to cause the Doctor pain while she suffered none of it. It wasn’t fair.
The Doctor smiled slightly sadly like she could tell what Yasmin was thinking, “that’s my choice and mine alone to make. It’s worth it. I don’t want to live my life never knowing what it’s like to love you openly. I just won’t allow that to happen.” Her smile turned more genuine and her eyes lightened up, “you know, Yasmin Khan, you’re quite good looking, have I ever mentioned that before?”
Yaz breathed out a laugh and looked away for just a moment before making eye contact again, “you’re not so bad yourself. Especially like this.” She moved her hand from the Doctor’s to gesture at the sunrise behind her. “Beautiful.” She paused and with as much meaning as she could possibly put into two words, she said, “thank you.” There would be more to say later, but it could wait.
“Yasmin Khan, would it be alright if I kissed you?”
“Yeah. Yeah that’d…yes. Please.”
Yaz couldn’t help the giant smile from crossing her face though. Even when the Doctor cupped her cheek and leaned in and gently pressed her lips against Yaz’s, it only lasted a second before they were both laughing happily and softly, foreheads pressed together. But they wouldn’t have it any other way.
The future would arrive inevitably, but they had this moment on the beach, and many other moments before them yet to come. There was no point fretting and wasting the present. They just enjoyed it instead.
Enjoyed it enough to have Dan almost regretting his hand in it, at least.