Chapter Text
“Are you sure no one’s coming back today?”
“Yes,” Langa went to kiss his lips, and Reki almost melted against him if it weren’t for his rising anxiety. When he didn’t kiss the other man back with the same amount of vigor, he stopped. “Yes, Reki. No one’s coming back until tomorrow,” Langa reassured. Releasing his arms from where they had been previously pinned on the wall, Langa gently took his hand and pressed a kiss on it before leading him to the bedroom where Reki had been countless times before.
He looked around and noticed that nothing had changed from the last time he had been there. Langa still had the same king-sized bed with the same blue sheets and matching curtains. The same pictures still hung themselves on the walls, smiling faces that always looked back at him every single time Reki was there.
This is wrong, they told him, expressions always unchanging. But who could blame them because yes yes yes what he was doing was wrong what they were doing was wrong but he was already in too deep he can’t stopstopstop-
“Reki,” Langa whispered against his lips, demanding all of his attention from the people on the walls and from his own mind. Another kiss, and then he was being pushed back until the back of his knees felt Langa’s king-sized bed against them. Another kiss, but this time on his neck on that one spot that Langa always managed to get to that he knew made his knees weak and suddenly he was being pushed on Langa’s king-sized bed that was made for two but always felt so big whenever he was there. “Reki,” he said again, crawling over him while kicking off his shoes, Reki doing the same. Langa crawled on top of him and sat up. Reaching for the hem of his shirt, he pried it off with practiced ease, and yes practiced ease because they had already done this so many times that he already knew the next step was to unbutton his jeans and shake them off with his boxers and try to kick his socks off. Reki craned his neck to get a better view, because Langa was beautiful with gorgeous pale skin that only looked messed up when he was with him and left bruises and love-bites in places that nobody could see.
Langa was beautiful.
Craning his neck a little more, Reki looked at the man before him, trying to ignore the people on the walls as he did so.
They stared back at him. This is wro-
And suddenly his head had returned to the bed, Langa now attacking his neck and filling it with kisses and marks. Turning his head to the side to give the man more room, his eyes landed on the frame sitting beside the bed on the table.
Reki, this is wrong, Haru said. Haru’s smiling face pierced his soul, all while looking just as beautiful as Langa with their matching white wedding tuxedos while they held onto each other. Just for a moment, he took his eyes off of Haru to look at Langa and god he was so pretty holding onto Haru and mirroring his smile on his own face. This is wrong, Haru repeated.
All Reki could do was stare at the frame.
This is wrong, he told himself as Langa began to strip him of his own clothes.
—
“Langa,” he remembered saying. His heart was beating so fast that he felt the tremor in his entire body. “I’m in love with you.”
—
It was always after that he felt the worst. Laying in bed while snuggled up against Langa after being loved for hours by him. The happy memories that Langa and Haru had shared throughout the years hung on the wall looking back at him after what he had done.
Disgusting! You’re disgusting!
Reki turned away from Langa and back to the wedding frame beside him. Haru was silent this time, as if he didn’t need to say anything because he knew that Reki knew that this was wrong.
He sat up, Langa’s hand sliding down from his chest down to his lap. The other man, well, technically Reki was the other man, continued to sleep peacefully. He envied him a little. How could he sleep so soundly after what they had just done? Again, Reki turned back to the picture, and, again, Haru stayed silent, only looking back at him with his smiling eyes.
He always tried to avoid looking at the picture, if he was being honest. The image filled him with so much heartbreak, more so than guilt, because Langa would never really be his, not in the way that he was Haru’s.
Langa’s wedding photo was everything he couldn’t have.
“Mm,” Langa groaned beside him, feeling up his body once again. “Come back to sleep,” he said, trying to bring Reki back down to the bed by the shoulder, and Reki almost cried because he was always to sweet after and never blamed any of this oh god he just loved him so mu-
Haru’s face popped back into his mind. He turned to look at the frame again. Haru only stared him down, as if he was almost daring him to turn back to Langa, his Langa, turn back to his husband back into his bed and try to forget what he had done.
“Actually, I think I should leave,” he heavily sighed and hoped Langa hadn’t heard him do that. Gently prying himself away from him, he stood up and began to gather his scattered clothes on the ground.
“Reki, I promise you,” Langa told him from behind, “Haru’s not coming back until tomorrow.”
“I have plans,” he lied. He hated doing that to him, actually he hated doing that in general, because he made him feel dirty and slightly guilty, but wasn’t he already committing a bigger sin? “Work plans.” He sat on the bed to put on his shoes, and almost immediately Langa’s naked body pressed against him, arms wrapping around his middle.
A tiny peck on the neck, on the spot that Langa always managed to get.
“Can’t it wait?” This time, a kiss on his ear, “stay with me a little longer.” And fuck, he almost took him up on that offer, almost undressed himself to go back to Langa and Haru’s king-sized bed just to have Langa for just a bit longer and pretend that he had everything he wanted.
Haru flashed into his mind, just for a second.
He tried to chuckle, “No, it can’t wait, actually.” And he finished tying his shoes. Getting up to leave, he turned back to look at Langa one last time. “I’ll see you next time?”
Langa smiled back, a much softer expression than the one in his wedding photo. He crawled over to give him a long peck on the lips that left him a little broken.
“I’ll see you next time,” he told him.
—
“You’re in love with me?” Lange brightened up, eyes wide with surprise and excitement that Reki was almost hopeful that everything would be okay and they really would be together infinitely-
“You can’t be in love with me.”
—
Work was becoming increasingly harder and harder for Reki, but he didn’t mind.
His design company was getting more and more traction, and his sales had gone up so much that his team had started staying after hours. It was exhausting, in all honesty.
But it helped keep his mind away from Langa and Haru.
“Reki!” a voice snapped him away from his computer. He had been working on his latest commission for some famous politician that he didn’t know about or care about. “Wow,” he turned to the owner of that voice, “is that the tux for that senator?”
“Oh, um,” Erika looked down at him from where she was standing, but she wasn’t looking back at him. Instead, she was staring at his computer with awe. “It is. But I’m not sure how I wanna finish it.”
“You mean it’s not done?” she said in disbelief. “I thought it was, it looks amazing!”
“No, not yet,” he laughed, “it’s missing something.”
“Ahh, what’s it missing?”
That’s what he was trying to figure out. “I’m not sure.”
“Well,” Erika turned his chair around, away from his computer and towards her, by taking a firm hold on his shoulders, “if you ask me, I think it looks perfect this way.” Leaning in a little closer, she stared him right in the eyes. “Everything you design is perfect, Reki.”
A hint of relief washed over him, only to be ignored by his crippling anxiety. He tried to smile back at her. “Thanks,” he said, “that means a lot.” And it really did. Erika had been the first person he had recruited on his team, and she never failed to show any support. She was also the only person to believe in his small, but growing, company from the very beginning. “Did you need something, actually?”
“Oh, yes!” she realized and handed him a mocha frappuccino. “This is for you, aaaand,” she paused, doing that little thing where she would create momentum before giving Reki amazing news, “someone’s here for an interview.”
“What!” His heart almost leaped out of his chest in the same way he jumped out of his chair. An interview? Someone was here to interview him? “Who?”
Erika smiled at his reaction. “You know that fashion magazine, Forever U? They sent someone over! To interview you!”
“Holy shit!” he panicked. How had a magazine that big found out about his small design company anyway? Had it been that influencer from a few weeks ago? The senator he was currently working on?
Holy fuck!
What was he going to say? How was he planning to respond? How was he supposed to think straight!
“Reki,” Erika said, popping the straw of his mocha frappuccino in his mouth, “I knew you were gonna panic,” she giggled. “That’s why I brought the drink.” Reaching down to bring Reki’s hand to hold the drink, she made sure he was holding it steadily and began to play around with his hair. “Now, don’t be nervous,” she reached into her back pocket to bring out a small, green comb and tried to fix his crazy hair. “You know this company and you know what you’re doing. Try to relax,” yeah, right, “when you get nervous, your body starts to shake and then you start to stutter. Don’t let them know you're nervous.” And suddenly, his face was in her hands and she was bringing him down to her height to look directly into her eyes. “You’re perfect,” she softly smiled, “you’ll do perfect.”
He felt his cheeks warm up the tiniest bit. “Thank you,” he took another sip from his drink and gathered the woman in a giant hug. “What would I do without you, Erika?”
“Hmm,” she nuzzled her face against his shoulder, a cute gesture, he thought, “probably have a panic attack.”
He snorted, she was probably 100% correct on that.
“Now, go,” she patted him on the back, “go be perfect.”
—
The excited heart beats from earlier had halted and quickly turned into erratic and panicked throbs. “Wha-what do you mean?”
“I-” Langa hesitated and bit his lip, like he didn’t want to tell Reki and break his heart (actually, that’s what he told himself whenever he thought about this moment). “I’m seeing someone.”