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Hubert pauses in the door that separates the bathroom from their bedroom and watches his husband carefully. The redhead’s eyes are dull and his face has taken on the empty look he has when he thinks no one is watching. And on top of all of that he hasn’t noticed Hubert standing behind him in the mirror. The ache in Hubert’s chest deepens but he puts on a smile and walks forward until he can put his hands on Ferdinand’s shoulders. He watches in the mirror as Ferdinand blinks back into himself before tilting his head back with a small smile.
Hubert’s smile softens into something more real as he leans down to press a kiss to his husband's forehead, “Are you about ready my dear?” Ferdinand blinks again, before his eyes widen oh so slightly, and he says, “Oh! Yes, of course!” Hubert steps back and away as Ferdinand rises, almost scrambles, to his feet. He fumbles around at the vanity for a moment before grabbing his cravat. His hands are shaking as he attempts to tie it and after a moment or so Hubert takes Ferdinands hands in his, gives them a squeeze, and sets them down by his sides. He steps forward, purposely crowding Ferdinand’s space as he ties the cravat for him.
“I am surprised you asked for a date night, Hubert. Is there a particular reason?” His eyes are bunched in the corners and his smile doesn’t reach his eyes and for once Hubert doesn’t know what is going on behind them.
“I have just missed my husband and wanted to have some time with just the two of us. Is that so wrong?” The lines soften ever so slightly and his smile becomes more genuine if not still apprehensive, “Of course not. I have missed you too.” Hubert hums a pleased sound as he finishes the cravat off. Tucking a stray hair behind Ferdinand’s ear, Hubert asks, “Would you like me to braid your hair tonight?” Ferdie hums and says,”Not tonight. I was thinking of just a simple ponytail.” Hubert smiles and beckons him to turn around, then he begins to carefully brush the hair out and pull it up, “You have seemed out of sorts for some time now, my heart. Is everything okay?” Hubert’s hands never stop moving, having done this many times both for his husband and his Lady, but his eyes stay trained on Ferdinand’s face in the mirror.
The lines in the corners of Ferdinand’s mouth bunch up slightly, and his eyes flick ever so slightly downward but he keeps eye contact with Hubert as he says, “I have just been so busy, my love, and have not had as much energy as usual!” He has gotten better at lying, Hubert notes, and all of his overly obvious tells are all but gone. But Hubert knows what else to look for and he knows his husband, but instead of calling these things out Hubert smiles at him in the mirror and finishes the ponytail off with a flourish. After taking a moment to admire his husband and his handiwork, Hubert steps around to face Ferdinand head on for the first time and holds out his hand. Ferdinand smiles at him, this one warmer, and takes it and teases, “Now I know you said something about a date?”
Hubert gives his hand a tug, pulling Ferdinand to his feet. He laces their fingers together and tucks their arms into his side, “I did, indeed. Let us go see what it is I have got planned.” Hubert feels more than hears Ferdinand chuckle, and the pressure that has long since settled into his chest dissipates some as Ferdinand leans ever so slightly into him.
————
The night, in Hubert’s opinion, goes exceptionally well. They didn’t do much, just a very nice dinner and a stroll but it was more time they’ve had together in almost a year. The longer the date went on, the more Ferdinand relaxed although Hubert caught him looking very confused into his plate but decided not to bring it up. Yet.
They’re back in their room now, and the last part of Hubert’s plan is about to be brought into action. Getting comfortable in only his shirtsleeves and slacks, Hubert once more turns around to watch his husband. His vest and shoes have already been discarded but once again his hands are trembling, making it hard to take off his cravat.
Ferdinand has not been taking care of himself. Hubert regrets to admit it took him much longer to notice than it should have because work has made them barely see each other. He’s exhausted, the bags under his eyes rival Hubert’s natural ones. He’s skinnier than he should be, something Hubert noticed when Ferdinand leaned into him earlier and a few days ago when he saw him changing into his night clothes. He’s grown quieter and quieter and dimmer and dimmer and Hubert only wishes he had noticed before it got this far.
For the second time that night Hubert walks over to Ferdinand and takes the cravat carefully from his fingers. Ferdinand smiles at him, an incredibly tired smile, and let’s his husband help him finish undressing. Once they are finally at the same level of comfort Hubert takes his husband's face in both of his hands and says, “Ferdinand?” Ferdinand blinks, tilting his head ever so slightly up to look Hubert in the eye and hums, his eyebrows drawing together just slightly.
“Are you going to tell me what has been troubling you?” Hubert’s husband freezes, completely taken off guard and his eyes widen almost comically. He makes to move out of Hubert’s grasp but Hubert keeps his hold on his face, his thumbs rubbing soothingly over his cheekbones.
“I- I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You do not use contractions unless you are upset, my heart. Not only that but you seemed genuinely surprised I wanted to spend time with you. And that’s not including all the things I’ve noticed, like how you have not been sleeping,” Hubert swipes a thumb under his eye and Ferdinand flinches slightly, “Or that you have lost enough weight for me to notice.” Ferdinand remains silent, his gaze falling to the floor. Hubert gives him a few minutes and just when he’s about to lift his head back up Ferdinand whispers, “Can I be honest?”
“Of course.” The breath Ferdinand takes is ragged before he finally pulls his gaze from the ground. His eyes are filled with tears but Hubert can see the stubborn set in his jaw and almost smiles, “When you asked me out tonight I thought you were going to say you didn’t want me anymore.” Hubert blinks once, twice, a third time and finally Ferdinands words hit him like a javelin of light. “What?” Hubert almost doesn’t realize he said it out loud, his mind racing with thoughts on what he has done to make Ferdinand think he’d want to be rid of him-
Ferdinand laughs, it’s bitter and sad and it pulls Hubert back out of his head and to the man in front of him, “It is ridiculous I know, and I should not have said anything-“
“Ferdinand.” Ferdinand falls silent and Hubert doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t have to. They’ve been rivals or enemies or friends or lovers or something to each other for too long to not know the other inside out. Ferdinand closes his eyes and leans into Hubert’s touch. “I truly should not have said anything,” he whispers, his eyes still closed, “Especially after how wonderful this night has been.”
“I asked because I wanted to know and I still want to know. I love you Ferdinand, I married you. Why would you think I’d want to be rid of you?” Ferdinand closes his eyes and leans into Hubert’s touch with another ragged breath. After a moment he says, “It is stupid, but…” He huffs, “I have been exhausted, that was not a lie and we have been so busy we have barely seen one another. And then a few months ago…” He trails off, his eyes getting a distant look that Hubert recognizes. He cannot help his jaw from clenching, already knowing what he was about to say before it even left his mouth, “You know I went and saw my father. I do not have to tell you how that went but then the gossip mill has been running their mouths… My exhausted brain could not fight them anymore.” Ferdinand grips the front of Hubert’s shirt tightly, as if afraid that he may leave.
Hubert let’s his forehead rest against Ferdinand’s, taking a deep breath and recentering himself. Once he’s sure that his temper is under control, Hubert leans back to look his husband in the eye, his face serious, “I love you.” Ferdinand sighs, “I know, I-“
“ No.” Ferdie blinks at him,“Hubert?” But Hubert is pressing a kiss to his forehead, ignoring him, “I love you.” Another kiss to his forehead, “I love how smart you are.” A kiss to his cheek, “I love how adorable you are when you’re blushing.” A kiss to his ear, “I love how good you are at listening.” A kiss to the bridge of his nose, “I love that little wrinkle that appears right here when you’re trying not to mean.”
“Hu-Hubert stop. You don’t have to-“
“I know I do not but I want to. I want you to know-“
“It-it is not worth this. It's just silly thoughts and a rough few months. I will-“
“You thought,” Hubert interrupts, his voice a little harsher than he means it to be, “That I wanted to leave you , Ferdinand. I will not stand here and let you think that. Ferdinand-“
“I-,” Ferdinand interrupts, shaking his head slightly, “I am not worth this effort, Hubert. You-“ Ferdinand cuts himself off, his mouth screwing up as he bows his head. Hubert reaches out both hands and tilts his head back up to look him in the eye. He used his thumb to carefully swipe away an escaping tear as he says, “You are worth it, even if you don’t think so. And do not say I deserve better because there is no one better than you, sunlight. I would not be who I am without you and if I have to I will remind you everyday how much you mean to me and how worthy of love you are.” The tears overflow from Ferdinand’s eyes as he says, “ Hubert,” and rushes forward slightly, burying his head in Hubert’s chest.
Hubert pulls him closer and holds him tight, his hand resting in his hair, “If there is anyone who deserves better it is you , Ferdinand.” Hubert feels Ferdinand’s grip on the back of his shirt tighten and hides his mischievous smile in his hair, “Especially with all the bad things I’ve done-“
“Do not,” Ferdinand says, his voice muffled but still sharp, “Do not say what you are about to say. There is nothing about you that is unworthy-“
“And there is nothing about you that is unworthy of love,” Hubert interrupts, “Your father, and anyone else who even thinks like that vile man, do not know what they are talking about.” Hubert feels the deep breath Ferdinand takes and runs his fingers through his hair, “And as for the gossip,” Hubert sneers a little, “They truly do not know a thing, because we both know her majesty is in a very happy relationship with one Bernadetta von Varely and that I think of her as nothing more than my sister. You are, and have never been, a second option Ferdinand. It was always going to be you. ”
After a moment Ferdinand picks his head up, his eyes are still shiny but his smile is real, “I love you, Hubert.” Hubert meets his smile with a grin, “And I you.” Ferdinand settles more comfortably into his hold and Hubert starts pressing kisses from his ear to his neck, “Hu-Hubert?” The chuckle Hubert lets out is dark and he purrs, “Now, about the rest of my plan…”