Work Text:
He didn’t belong up here, not in this crowd. Mu Qing didn’t either, but he deserved to be up here.
Quan Yizhen was different though. Sure, he deserved to be in the Upper Court, that much was clear. He was a strong fighter with a singular mind that shot straight towards his goal. It was really no wonder he had ascended. Mu Qing could respect his strength, the raw talent that had gained him hundreds of believers overnight.
But Quan Yizhen didn’t belong here.
“He’s so difficult to deal with. I tried to bringing a present to his palace and he gave it right back to me! Said he didn’t need it! How arrogant,” a Junior official grumbled.
“We’ll have to try again, it’ll only get more difficult as his popularity grows. If he's this cocky now he’ll only get harder to handle later.” The other sighed.
Mu Qing rolled his eyes as they passed. The officials were all the same whether lower or upper court. All just a bunch of snakes who loved to play nice until the time came for a better opportunity. Then they’d stab you in the back and spit in your face.
Then again, maybe Mu Qing did belong with the rest of them. Wasn't that what he had done to Xie Lian? He could tell himself it was different. That he hadn’t been betraying him, just taking care of himself so he could take care of them all. But that didn’t erase the anger he remembered on Xie Lian’s face.
His eye caught on Quan Yizhen standing outside the palace of Yin Yu. Again.
Can’t you tell he’s avoiding you? Can’t you tell he’s thrown you away? You don’t need him. You’re stronger than him anyways. Look how many followers you have, clearly you deserve this more. Move on already.
But Quan Yizhen, either naive or endlessly stubborn, didn't move on. As if to illustrate once again how different he was from the rest of heaven he remained stubbornly loyal to a shixiong who had already given up on him.
You don’t need him. Mu Qing thought, but he didn’t say it. He wouldn’t get involved. Quan Yizhen and him weren’t close, he had no reason to pester the god.
***
Mu Qing had respected Yin Yu when the man first ascended. Then he had disliked him.
For a stupid reason really. It was just that Yin Yu, with his endless patience and perfect smiles reminded him too much of Xie Lian. He was too perfect. Never got involved in the hidden taunting or senseless gossip the rest of heaven was ripe with. Never blew his temper. He was even. He was fair. With two childhood friends as his attendants.
If Mu Qing had been trying to play with the metaphor more, he thought he had more in common with Jian Yu. He was a sensible man mostly. A voice of reason who knew his place and did his job well.
He supposed that would make Quan Yizhen Feng Xin. He didn’t feel like Feng Xin though. Sure he was loyal and a meathead but… he was more straightforward, Mu Qing thought. Quan Yizhen didn’t care for status or bow and scrape like that General Dick had once upon a time. Quan Yizhen didn’t make Mu Qing feel like he was being accused or judged.
Quan Yizhen hadn’t grown up with status. He’d fought for it, worked hard for it like Mu Qing had. But unlike Mu Qing he refused to play the grand game of it all. He let no one tell him he wasn’t good enough. He let no one make him feel lesser for even a second. And yes he had gained a bad reputation for it but so what? Weren’t most of those gossiping just jealous? Hadn’t he managed to achieve it all without playing into all the stupid lies and niceties of heaven?
How free he must have felt. How nice must it be to not constantly be watching your image like that?
Maybe that was why Mu Qing’s eyes followed him. Maybe that was why Mu Qing’s dislike for Yin Yu grew.
Maybe that’s why Mu Qing had been the first to realize it.
While the others had targeted Quan Yizhen, trying to get him to stop, Mu Qing had grabbed Yin Yu. Because this wasn’t just another case of Quan Yizhen going off and doing his own thing. He was being manipulated. It was all too easy to guess the culprit.
“Trying to get away?”
From there things had gone so quickly. A palace destroyed. Yin Yu bound. Medics rushing in. The light slowly returning to Quan Yizhen’s eyes.
And then the two words that made Mu Qing’s blood run cold: “GO DIE!”
Quan Yizhen had been stopped from heeding the order luckily. And Mu Qing told the Emperor everything he had seen. He had finally seen Yin Yu fall from grace and he felt sicker than ever with the memories of Xie Lian and the image of this newly banished god overlapping in his mind. But it was over. It was done.
Except for Quan Yizhen, it wasn’t.
Don’t you see he’s given up on you? You were just some project that got to be too much for him to handle and he threw you away at the first chance he got. Stop looking for him. Stop defending him.
But the years passed and Quan Yizhen did not move on. His reputation worsened but he did not falter. And Mu Qing’s eyes still caught on that figure the rare times he saw it, so curious, so strong, not a care for the words of others. But he wouldn’t get involved. Quan Yizhen and him weren’t close, he had no reason to pester the man.
***
Mu Qing maintained he didn’t want to be close to Quan Yizhen. It had taken him over eight hundred years to make his first friends and that was difficult enough to warrant never trying that again. Certainly not before he figured out how to handle these friendships at least.
But being friends with Xie Lian came with certain… baggage. For instance, Mu Qing had to spend a large amount of time with Hua Cheng in order to spend time with Xie Lian. Sometimes he had to go on weird errands with Xie Lian.
Today it seemed, he had to share Xie Lian with someone who had already arrived. But it wasn’t Hua Cheng or even Feng Xin.
Quan Yizhen.
“Qi Ying,” he nodded in greeting. “Is his highness in?”
“He’s grabbing tea. I think Hua Chengzhu is distracting him though. But the last time I interrupted Hua Chengzhu said he wouldn’t help me with shixiong if I bothered them.”
“With… Your shixiong?”
Quan Yizhen nodded. “He’s teaching me how to nurture a soul. Shixiong got hurt in the battle.”
If it was another person he might have hesitated more. Might have held his tongue. But wouldn’t it feel good to just speak his mind? And wasn’t that always what Quan Yizhen did?
“Why don’t you give up on him? He tried to kill you. He abandoned you.”
Quan Yizhen shook his head. “I don’t really get it all the way, but I know there’s more to it. So I’ll wait for him to explain it.”
It was stupid. It was naive. Like a kicked dog who kept coming back.
But it was bold and it was honest and Mu Qing was jealous. He was jealous of Quan Yizhen for being himself so fully, untouched by the cloying, hateful rumors of the heavens. He was jealous of Yin Yu for having such a person who would just… believe in him without limits. A person who would wait until he explained things because he trusted that much, that completely, even if all evidence pointed to the contrary.
Some days he felt sure that Xie Lian trusted him, but even at the best of times it didn’t feel like that limitless trust Quan Yizhen had. Even on the best of days Mu Qing couldn’t shake the feeling Xie Lian was hiding some disappointment in him. And even if he wasn’t, Xie Lian still had admitted he thought Mu Qing was narrow-minded, petty, sensitive and skeptical, had a bad personality, was constantly guessing, didn’t say nice things, liked to nag, always offended people, and berated him for remembering small, unimportant details for a long period of time. And yes of course he’d remembered every single one of Xie Lian’s complaints with him. How couldn’t he?
And it wasn’t like Mu Qing didn’t have a similarly long list of complaints about Xie Lian. They loved each other, but their friendship was a complicated one, muddled by history, class differences, and a difference in morals.
Quan Yizhen should’ve had just as many issues with Yin Yu, but he didn’t. He didn’t let them have those issues. Yin Yu did maybe, but not Quan Yizhen. To Quan Yizhen, things were simple. He believed in Yin Yu so he’d trust Yin Yu and wait for the man to be ready to explain things to him.
How nice would it be to have someone like that?
Without thinking too much, Mu Qing sat down next to him.
“Are you here to see them too? I got here first so I get to talk to Hua Chengzhu first.”
“…I'm just here for Xie Lian. You can have Crimson Rain.”
Quan Yizhen nodded, seeming satisfied.
Mu Qing’s hands itched. He didn’t know how to go about this sort of thing. He thought if he asked directly Quan Yizhen would probably give him a straight answer— no he definitely would, but Mu Qing had already resolved never to talk about his feelings like that for a millennium at least.
He could ask Quan Yizhen to visit his palace sometime. Slowly get to know each other through casual visits. But Quan Yizhen would probably refuse that sort of thing for being too stuffy and Mu Qing really wasn’t sure he could ever talk to the man again if he got rejected for something so simple.
Think. There had to be something. What did they have in common? Maybe a hobby or— Ah!
“I heard you patrol your territory often.”
Quan Yizhen nodded. “I just kill the things that need to be killed. Fighting is fun.”
“We should go some time. Together.” Mu Qing refused to look at the man while he spoke.
“Do you need help with something in your territory?”
Mu Qing clenched his fists. If anyone else had asked he would’ve thought it was a backhanded insult. He still flared up at it. But… Quan Yizhen wasn’t like that. So…
“It’s more fun to go together. We could spar even.”
“Okay.”
Mu Qing felt his breath catch.
“When do you want to go?”
“Whenever you patrol next is fine. I can give you the password of my array and you can just summon me when you head out.”
“Okay.”
Okay. Mu Qing felt relief wash over him. Okay.
It wasn’t the same as getting someone who trusted him fully. It didn’t erase the worst case assumptions he felt jumping to the front of his mind when he spoke to others. But it was a start.
It was a start.