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It was a quiet day in Castle Town. When Kris and Susie dropped in after school, they were surprised to find no new calamity awaiting them. Ralsei simply greeted them with his usual cloying smile and told them they were welcome to stay as long as they liked. It was the first day they had gotten any real downtime since their adventures had begun.
In short, Kris was bored.
Susie wandered off in search of someone to spar with, and Kris went to their room and flopped onto the bed. Without the concrete goal of a fountain to seal, they had no idea what to do, and it left them feeling adrift. However, Ralsei was following close behind. He knocked twice and said, “Hey Kris, can I come in?”
“Mm-hmm,” they mumbled into a pillow.
Ralsei entered. “Hi! Oh, sorry, did I wake you up? Um, I just came to say, why don’t we do something together? We don’t get to spend a lot of time together as just the two of us.”
Alone time with Ralsei was an awkward prospect at the best of times, but better than nothing. They sat up in bed. “What were you thinking of?”
“Well, one thing I've been meaning to try is cooking with an oven,” said Ralsei. “It’s more time-consuming and dangerous than cauldron cooking, but I've heard it makes the end results taste much sweeter. I was thinking of trying an angel food cake? They’re really hard to make right without burning, but that might make it a fun challenge!”
Kris shrugged. “Ehh, I bake at home with my mom all the time. What’s the point of coming to the Dark World just to- wait, did you say dangerous? We piloted a giant robot together and you think an oven is dangerous?”
“Well, I read once that Light World ovens can explode sometimes! Without you even pressing a button to make them explode!”
“Uh, no, that would mean something has gone terribly wrong. Listen, you can try baking if you like, but I'd rather just go buy some cookies from the café. You wanna come?”
Ralsei’s eyes lit up. “Oh, okay, yes! Oh, and, there was something else I wanted to show you…” He gave a small chuckle. “I'll go to my room and get my wallet. You just wait here.” He scampered out the door in a hurry, before Kris could even respond.
“Sure? I can cover you…” they trailed off as they watched him run out. There was something about Ralsei’s tone that put Kris on edge. They suspected he was about to bring out another lavish token of friendship, which they were never comfortable accepting. Why did Ralsei feel the need to constantly heap praise on Kris? It would feel a lot more sincere if he would just act chill for once. They stuck their head out the door and watched Ralsei disappear up the stairs, to the part of the castle he didn’t let anyone else into. Sensing an opportunity to get nosy, they decided to follow him at a distance.
The second floor was dimly lit and poorly cleaned. Kris entered just in time to see Ralsei vanish into a door at the end of the hall. There was another door just ahead that was covered in sparkly stickers depicting kittens, dolphins, rainbows and other such cute things. It had a bronze nameplate that read “My Room”. Kris jiggled the knob, but it was locked. They then crept down the hall, only to run into a huge cobweb hanging just at eye level. Some of it got into their mouth and they coughed.
Ralsei’s voice came down the stairwell. “Is someone there?”
Kris ducked into an alcove and pressed against the wall. The backplate of their armour made an echoey clang against the wall; they winced and silently swore. “Are you lost? I'm sorry, but this is a private area,” called Ralsei.
Even knowing it was a terrible idea, Kris felt compelled to risk it and run back to their room. There was no sign of Ralsei in the hall, so they thought they were in the clear until they saw something large scuttling along the ceiling.
“Hey! I thought I heard armour clanking! Kris, what are you doing?”
The scuttling creature dropped from the ceiling and landed right in front of Kris. It was a spider monster, just about their height, covered in black fuzz. It was wearing a puffy blue dress, with six sleeves to accommodate its spindly arms. Eight beady eyes studied Kris from behind wire-rimmed glasses. Startled, Kris drew their sword and shouted, “Ralsei! Help, there's some kind of spider attacking me!”
The spider looked just as taken aback as Kris felt. “Oh no, Kris, don't be scared! There’s nothing here but you and me!” Its voice was instantly recognizable.
“Huh? Why do you talk like Ralsei? And… are you wearing his glasses?”
The spider gave a little worried smile, wiggling its pedipalps. “Kris… do you not recognize me? Are you okay? Do you need a hug?” It opened all six arms wide.
Kris took a step backward to gather their thoughts, as well as to dodge the hug. On a second look, they realized the spider’s face did resemble Ralsei—the way Ralsei looked when they first met him, when half his face was hidden under his hat. He was just as fluffy as ever, and the extra eyes only made his smile look cuter. Kris let their sword vanish back into hammerspace. “Ralsei? For real? Did you get cursed or something?”
The spider let his arms drop to his side, putting two of them behind his back like he always did. “Oh, no, not at all, but I understand your confusion. I must have messed up my spell…” He withdrew a silver hand mirror from somewhere in the folds of his dress and examined himself. “I'm so sorry, Kris. I didn’t mean to scare you like this. I only wanted to surprise you with my new dress.”
“So are you gonna tell me what’s going on?” said Kris, staring Ralsei up and down.
Ralsei’s cheeks were turning pink. “Yes, of course, it’s just. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but this is what I look like normally. Um. You see, when we first met, well. I've read that a lot of Lightners are afraid of spiders, and I didn’t want you and Susie to be scared of me! So I disguised myself with magic. I didn’t mean anything sinister by it!”
“With magic… You can change your appearance any time you want?”
“Well, not any time. I use enchantments woven directly into my clothes. Actually, my first spell wasn’t quite finished when you first arrived, which is why I had to hide my face initially. I was working on it even as we travelled together!” Ralsei’s two larger eyes were big and wide, while he closed the six smaller ones that ringed his face. “Th-this dress is supposed to be enchanted too, but I must have done it wrong or not concentrated hard enough. I hope… it doesn't change how you feel about me.”
Kris could see the sincerity in Ralsei’s eyes. They still had mixed feelings about calling him a friend, but they couldn’t help but feel a connection with his situation. “Aw, c’mon Ralsei, it’s fine. I'm not scared of spiders. And Susie loves them. Especially the big, hairy, venomous ones.”
“Oh! I'm big and hairy, but I don’t know if I'm venomous! I would never bite anyone! Is that okay?”
“I'm sure she’ll love you anyway,” said Kris. “Although you’re still pretty fluffy and cute for her taste.” They paused, thinking carefully about how to say what they wanted to say next. “So… these uh, magic clothes… how do they work?”
“I can show you! Come with me!” Ralsei took Kris by the hand and led them into the room aa the back. It was a spacious studio filled with messy piles of fabric, with a large loom at its centre. Many garments were already hanging from racks and coat stands. “Here, over here, I was working on cloaks for the two of you. In case we need to go undercover on our quests.” He took one down and passed it to Kris.
“For me?” They ran the fabric through their hands. The cloak was fine silk, navy blue with silver stars embroidered all over it. “But I, y’know, can’t do magic.”
“You don’t need to, the magic is all in the stitches. All you need to do is imagine what you want to look like when you put it on. Within reason! It’s only a glamour, so it can’t make you change size or give you special powers or anything.” Ralsei looked proud of his handiwork.
Kris unclasped their pink cape to replace it with the new cloak. They turned away from Ralsei, embarrassed at how excited they felt. They slowly draped the cloak around themself and thought of an image they had pictured hundreds, maybe thousands of times since they were very young.
A few seconds passed in silence. They didn’t feel anything happening. They looked back to Ralsei. “Did it work?”
Ralsei adjusted his glasses and tilted his head. “Hmm. I'm not sure the spell was supposed to work that way…”
“Oh god, what happened?”
“It’s nothing bad! It’s just that you look a lot like me! Like my goat disguise, I mean. I wonder if I'm only good at making people into goats.”
Kris gasped. “No, that’s what I wanted! Give me a mirror!” Ralsei smiled and held up his hand mirror for them.
They saw a reflection covered in white fur. They still had a shag of hair over their eyes, but it too was white and fluffy. They had floppy ears reaching down to their neck. From the top of their head grew a pair of short horns, sky blue and twisted like an antelope’s. They grinned from amazement, revealing little pointy fangs.
Ralsei grinned back. “You look cute, Kris! Are you satisfied?”
They wanted to say they were more than satisfied. That they had dreamed of this since they were little. That they took back every negative thing they ever thought about Ralsei, and that they wanted to stay here in the Dark World forever. But they were so filled with emotion that words escaped them, so they just nodded vigorously. They tore off their gauntlets; underneath, their hands were furry and had pink paw pads. They flapped their hands with exuberance.
Ralsei was blushing again. “I'm glad to see you so happy! Hmm, perhaps we should bring down the cloak I made for Susie. She might like to try it out too.”
“Susie…” Kris started to regain their composure, and their smile became more devious. “Actually, I have a better idea. You’re right, I do look like you, especially if I cover these horns.” They grabbed a green wizard hat off a rack and put it on. “And you look like a different person too. A pranking opportunity like this only comes around once in a lifetime.”
“Pranking? I've never done that before. Isn’t it a little mean?”
Kris rolled their eyes. “God you’re such a dweeb. You’re just supposed to surprise people and make them laugh. I'll show you how it’s done. You just watch and try to act… un-Ralsei-like.”
“Okay! I can’t wait to learn from a pranking master!”
Kris practically sprinted all the way out of the castle and into the courtyard, stopping only to mash the save point on the way. Ralsei struggled to keep up. They found Susie practicing cool axe moves on the training dummy outside. “Hi, Susie!” Kris called out. The spell didn’t change their voice, so they had to do their best impression of Ralsei. This was not difficult, since they had spent years doing mocking impressions of their brother to annoy him.
“Oh hey Rals, what’s up? Sweet cloak by the way.”
Ralsei and Kris exchanged a knowing glance. “Thanks,” said Kris. “Actually, I was wondering if you had time to do a little magic practice. I've been studying offensive spells just for you. Because I'm a little busybody who loves studying.”
“You mean like, a new attack? Sure, I was just training anyway,” said Susie, pointing back at the dummy, which was slashed almost to shreds. “Who’s your friend?”
Ralsei hadn’t planned to speak. “M-me? Oh, I'm… I'm a spider, obviously!” He spread his arms out in an attempt to look intimidating.
“This is a new recruit who also wants to learn magic,” said Kris. “He will be watching us and not interrupting, isn’t that right?” Ralsei nodded and backed off. Kris continued, “Now, onto today’s lesson. This spell is called Spike Bomb and it lets you conjure up a spiky ball, that explodes when it hits an enemy.”
Susie’s face lit up. “Bro, for real? That sounds awesome! Do you really think I can do that?”
“Of course! I believe in you, Susie! But it is a pretty complicated spell, so you’ll need to pay attention and copy me exactly.”
Susie gave a thumbs up. “Ready whenever you are!”
Kris started making up gestures off the top of their head. It had to be believable at first, so Susie would be roped in. “Okay, you start by putting your hands over your head like this, and then bring them down slowly to your side.” Susie obediently followed along. “Then you spin around once clockwise, and then once counter-clockwise.” Susie took a moment to remember which was which, and then did so. Kris smiled and nodded. “Yes, perfect, just like that. Okay, next is… this gesture.” They positioned their arms in front of their chest dramatically, with splayed fingers.
Susie blinked. “Is. Is that a Jojo pose? Are you doing a Jojo, Ralsei?”
Kris put on an innocent face. “No, it's a magical gesture I read about in my magical books. What’s a Jojo?” The real Ralsei covered his face with his hands to stifle a giggle. Susie narrowed her eyes, but dutifully posed.
“Almost there!” said Kris. “Now you have to… wag your tail as hard as you can!”
“What! I can’t! I-I don’t have a tail!” Susie dropped her pose and huffed.
“That’s not what Noelle told me.”
“Since when do you and Noelle talk?!” she snarled. “Ughhh, fine, but this better be a REAL cool explosion.”
Kris caught a glance of a tail rustling under her jacket. It was getting harder for them to keep a straight face. This would have to be the last act. “So then you finish by closing your eyes, sticking out your tongue, and holding out your hands. The ball will manifest right there.” As soon as Susie closed her eyes, Kris whipped out their phone and took a few pictures. Then they grabbed a few Revive Mints out of their pocket and put them in Susie’s hands.
“Yeah, I feel it!” she said. She opened her eyes and her face fell. “The hell? These are just candies!”
“Oh nooooo,” said Kris, audibly giggling between words. “You must have messed up somewhere. You’ll have to start all over again.”
“Why you little… there was never any spell, was there? Did Kris put you up to this? No offence, but this seems way more their speed than yours.”
Kris was now laughing so hard they could not speak. Instead, they unclasped the cloak and let it fall off.
“Huh? Kris??? How did—what is happening?” She looked from Kris to Ralsei and back again.
“Perhaps I can explain, Susie,” Ralsei chimed in. “Kris was showing me how to pull a prank! You see, I created some magic cloaks that can change your appearance, so Kris was pretending to be me. I have to admit it was pretty funny.”
“Wait, you’re Ralsei?”
He nodded. “But um, this is actually me not in disguise for the first time. I hope I'm not too scary.”
“You mean you’re secretly a big furry spider? Dude, you should have led with that.” Susie poked his cheek. “Didn’t know you could be so cool.”
Kris finally caught their breath enough to say, “No he’s still a nerd. But he has a cloak for you too. If we get Noelle down here we could pull the same trick together.”
Susie scratched her chin. “Berdly too?”
“Hell, get the whole class in.”
“Hahaha! That’ll be awesome!” she beamed. “Wait, can you show me again? The disguise I mean.” Kris put the cloak back on and changed back into a monster. Susie immediately gave them a noogie. “Ahhh, you like being fluffy, huh? You wanna be a nerd like him?” They nodded wordlessly and gently headbutted her in return. Susie said, “Hey! You got horns under that hat? Well at least that’s something cool.” They blew a raspberry. There was no need to say anything else.