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It was late when Deadpool got back home from patrol. There was certain precautions that had to be made every night to ensure that nobody was following him. Wade never used to care about that sort of thing before, not when you’re an immortal mercenary, but things were different now.
Now he has a family.
Even though Peter was Spiderman, that didn't stop Wade from worrying about him. Super-strength and super-flexibility, did not equal immortality.
Super-strength and super-flexibility DID mean a lot of fun in the bedroom, but that's really not the point right now.
Ellie also needed to be protected. Like any good father, Wade has been teaching her how to handle herself in the world. Always look both ways before you cross the street, be wary of strangers, jujitsu, the proper way to use a butterfly knife, normal dad stuff.
It also seems that daddy’s little girl, inherited daddy’s little healing factor. When Ellie was at girl-scout camp, she was bucked off a horse and broke her arm. By the time they got back from camp via ambulance, troop and fretting girl-scout leader in tow, she was completely healed.
She had to wear a fake caste for weeks afterwards though, because the camp leader and her entire girl-scout troop had seen the broken bone.
Wade didn't like to see his little girl hurt. Even though now it seems that she will always heal….He hopes she only inherits the good parts, and not the bad crazy-parts.
After being absolutely certain that he wasn't being followed, Wade made his way to the building where he and his family lived.
….HIS family… his FAMILY……
He’s still getting used to that word.
(family)
Wow that's weird to say.
He’s never had a real one of those before…..
Wade slid across the glass on the outside of the *very nice* apartment building where he and his family lived. Wade opened the large glass window (very convenient for him and his little web slinger’s needs) and slid into his living room.
“...So are you going to finally do it?” The Mercenary-turned-hero asked this question seemingly to no one, as the living room was empty, though the author knew that he was addressing her.
...Do what Wade?
“You know….PWP, hide the sausage, spank the monkey, the two-man tango, ride the Baloney Pony-”
Eww, Wade, what the hell.
“You promised people that you would write a smut fic! So do I get to tap Spidey or what?”
Wow. Wade. Wow. Way to be romantic.
“You promised! You promised people on the internet! If that's not a binding contract, I don’t know what is!!”
Ok, first of all, way to ruin the mood asshole! Second, ‘Baloney Pony’??
“That is a PERFECTLY acceptable nickname for a dick!” Wade pouted at the ceiling.
Yes Wade, this is the smut fic I promised OK? Just. Just. How am I supposed to write smut after you called your dick that?
“Well usually there's spanking, and ropes, copious amounts of lube…”
No ropes, no spanking, but there will be lube.
“Wait what? Why no ropes??”
Its not that kind of fic Wade…
“YOU SAID IT WAS A SMUT FIC!!” Wade yelled at the ceiling. To a casual onlooker it would appear that he was very angry at the ceiling fan for the lack of porn in his life.
Will you quiet down asshole! Peter is in the next room sleeping!
“...you said it was a smut fic…” The lunatic whispered, his back hunched, seemingly confiding a close-held secret to the much beleaguered ceiling fan.
Its not that kind of sex though...you just...he just...you love each other a lot ok?
“.......”
Wade?
“......I can’t do this….”
Wade.
“I told you before...this isn't right….before you just wrote us sleeping next to each other but this….sex is one thing….sex where you care about each other is different….. Peter deserves more…..”
Wade…
“I didn't earn this….”
In this universe you did though! You heard all of my exposition!
“...But….”
You’re a good husband for him Wade, a good hero, a good dad to Ellie….
“The fic always ends though….” Wade slowly went to sit on a couch in his living room.
“...People always write me falling in love...saving the day...getting everything I've always wanted….” He hugs a floral couch cushion to his chest.
“I know you chicks just want me to be happy but…” he sighs. “And honestly, given how shitty my comic book canon life has been to me, that means a lot.”
“But it always ends! I get the guy, be the hero, but I never get to keep it! The fic ends and someone writes another fic and I have to start all over again!”
“....I can’t handle it anymore….I can’t handle being loved and not being able to keep it”
Wade…
“NO!” He rose from the couch, hands balling into fists and the cushion falling to the floor “I won’t do it this time! I won’t!” He shook his head and brought his hands to his ears. “I won’t I won’t I WON’T”
WADE.
The ex-mercenary breathes deeply and looks up.
What makes you think this is all about you? I want you AND Peter to be happy!
He pauses and looks down the hall to the bedroom door, a soft glow leaks out from underneath the door frame. Peter must have fallen asleep reading something sciencey again.
He needs you just as much as you need him.
Wade pauses and considers the bedroom door.
That's right Wade, in this universe, he has been waiting all night for the man he loves.
“Stop it”
His husband-
“I said stop!”
His lover!
“STOP”
His hero.
Wade rips off his mask and paces back and forth between the couch and the coffee table, angrily scrubbing at his scarred face, tears slowly working down his marred cheeks.
“SHUT UP ABOUT THE GODDAMN TEARS AUTHOR!...I’m not crying...my eyes are leaking….I was cutting onions! I heard that one-direction broke up! I- I still won’t do it! I’ll run away!”
You could run away Wade, but he would be heartbroken.
The ex-mercenary pressed his hands to his ears in a futile effort to drown out the author.
Not to mention Ellie, I want her to be happy too-
“You leave my baby-girl out of this!” The mercenary hisses, hands instinctively going to his guns.
She would be heartbroken if you ran away!
“I swear to god, I don’t care if you’re the author! I’ll kill you! I-”
Honestly Wade, there's no need for that.
“....”
I know you love him.
“..........”
So do it for him.
Wade lowers his gun and tucks it back into it’s holster. He looks to the door and it’s soft glow with undisguised longing. Because he does love Peter. He does.
He breathes shakily “You swear he loves me?...”
He does Wade, more than anything…. He loves you.
He swallows nervously. “For Peter.” He nods shakily to the ceiling. “Start the scene”
The ex-mercenary turned hero strips off his weapons one at a time. The guns, the katanas, the bombs, each one is placed in a hidden safe, kept away from his daughter’s curious hands.
He treads quietly down the hall as to not disturb his daughter or his husband. As he passes his daughter’s room he pushes the door in quietly to take a peek inside.
Ellie is fast asleep, her adorably-pudgy face is squished into a Spiderman plushie that Wade had won for her at the zoo the previous weekend. He snuck her in to ride giraffes before they got kicked out, that was a great weekend. The walls of her room were littered with posters of superheroes and boybands. She snores lightly and Wade continues on.
He finally makes it to the bedroom he and Peter share. He opens the door slowly.
Peter did fall asleep with the light on again. The brunette is asleep at his desk at the end of the room, sprawled over some science book, his glasses askew and drooling slightly. His face is squished against the book and his fluffy brown hair is sticking up in all directions.
The ex-mercenary is filled with an overwhelming, horribly-cliche tenderness that often accompanies the lovesick. It was just so sweet and domestic and-
and his.
Wade pauses at the thought, and bites his lip. His breath quivers before he visibly pulls himself together and continues into the room.
He walks to where Peter is half sitting in the office chair, half laying on the desk.
He gently cards his fingers through Peter’s hair, tousling the locks with a certain sort of tender reverence. He gently swipes a thumb across Peter’s eyelashes, tracing the shell of his ear before tenderly cupping the web-slinger’s chin and caressing his bottom lip.
“....for you….” he whispers.
Its then that Peter stirred. His eyelashes fluttered and he uttered a small tired sound in protest of being woken up. He opened his brown doe-like eyes, blurry at first, but soon focusing on Wade.
Wade stopped breathing for a moment, his breath hitching at the sight of those lovely eyes.
Peter smiled at his husband, it was a small and sleepy smile, but it was filled with more tenderness and love than Wade ever thought he deserved.
Peter sat up, Wade’s hand still his his hair and yawned.
“hey Wade...missed you...I musta fallen asleep…”
Wade smiled back, a small and timid little smile. “hey baby boy…” he swiped his thumb across Peter’s lips again and Peter leaned into his hand, nuzzling like a cat. “lets get you into bed ok?”
Peter giggled and opened his mouth to bite Wade’s thumb teasingly. “Why Wadie, so forward..” he tittered.
Wade gently took his thumb from the webslinger’s mouth, Peter relinquished the digit with a soft pop of his lips.
“..We don’t have to baby boy...I know you’re tired...we could just...sleep and-” Wade plead with his eyes, but Peter didn't notice.
Peter rose from the desk. His hands clutched the spandex over Wade’s hips as he nuzzled into his neck and bit the collar of the suit teasingly. Peter peppered Wade’s jaw with kisses and stood on his tiptoes to lick the shell of Wade’s ear.
Wade clutched at Peter’s shoulders, his hands bunching in the thin t-shirt Peter wore as if to either push Peter away, or pull him closer.
He did neither, only holding Peter as the shorter man raked his teeth across Wade’s pulse.
“..I missed you so much…” Peter said it breathlessly, barely a whisper as he smiled into his husband’s neck. He began to dutifully work on what would be a short-lived hicky due to Wade’s healing factor.
Wade gripped Peter harder, his breath and heart rate speeding up.
“for you…” he whispered.
Peter looked up from the already-fading hicky in question, but before he could ask, Wade sealed their lips in a kiss. The kiss was hard and desperate, Wade attempted to convey all of the feelings he had for Peter in that singular kiss, as well apologize for what he was about to do.
Peter moaned into the kiss and brought his arms up from Wade’s hips to the back of his neck to pull him closer. Without breaking off the kiss, Peter jumped and wrapped both legs around Wade’s middle.
Wade instinctively moved to support Peter’s new position, his hands incidentally landing on the hero’s rather perky ass.
Peter smirked into the kiss and bit down on Wade’s bottom lip, drawing a groan and a gasp from the former-antihero.
Wade fumbled for a minute as he blindly tried to turn off the lamp. He succeeded and the room went stark, lit only by the wan blue light of the starry night sky.
Wade carried Peter over to their bed as Peter’s slim pale fingers worked at the zipper of Wade’s suit, pulling the fabric down Wade’s shoulders and mouthing at the skin he found there. Peter was already planning the placement of countless more treasured, short-lived hickies.
Wade shuddered at the sensation and gently pried his husband’s mouth from his shoulder to give him another deep kiss, silently apologizing for his hands undoing Peter’s pants as if he wasn't allowed.
Peter grinned into the kiss and leaned back to rip his t-shirt. He delved back into the kiss with renewed desperation, as if the short time their lips were parted was unbearable, running his hands down Wade’s scarred front, stripping off red and black spandex as he went.
Wade gently raised Peter from the bed to remove his pants and they were both bare in front of each other.
Peter flopped back against the sheets, in the thin light Wade could still see his red-kissed lips, his tousled hair, his adoring smile and it almost too much for him to bear…
For Peter.
Peter ran his hands up his husband, caressing the broad expanses of muscles, being careful of any sore scars, his hands resting on the back of Wade’s neck, smiling.
The way Peter looks at him….
Wade distracts himself from the raw intense love in Peter’s eyes, by searching the bedside table for lube, because that's always where the lube is in fanfics.
He coats his fingers and Peter bites his lips and smiles at the sight. Wade begins to prepare him, dipping the first finger into Peter and wiggling it experimentally.
Peter moans and begs him to ‘go faster, more fingers, come on’ but Wade works slowly, memorizing the feeling of Peter’s skin beneath his hands, the sound of his voice, before its taken from his again.
Peter pushes back onto Wade’s scarred hand as he finger-fucks him. Toying with his prostate leisurely, making Peter gasp and his long creamy legs twitch.
Wade finally removes his fingers and looks up at Peter.
Peter smiles at him, his face flushed as his lips bitten red.
“....Come on Wade...please….”
Its too much. Its just too much.
Peter sees Wade freeze above him.
“...Wade?...” Peter squeeze’s his husbands shoulders, trying to get his attention. Wade looks at Peter and he looks...fearful?
“..Petey….” Wade looks at him desperately. “...I’m sorry...you don’t know what's going on….but I do and….”
Peter silences him with a kiss and draws Wade closer, pulling his scarred face to the hero’s chest. The former merc can hear his heartbeat…
“you’re ok Wade…..I’m ok...we’re ok…” Peter strokes Wade’s head and peppers his brow with kisses.
“Petey...this isn't real...we…” The ex-merc desperately tries to explain.
“hush…” Peter kisses him in between his eyes. “We’re safe Wade, You’re safe with me...I’m safe with you…”
Wade buries his face deeper into Peter’s neck.
“...You make me feel so safe Wade...So loved...I love you so much…”
Peter can feel the wet drip of tears where Wade’s face meets his chest. Peter kisses Wade on the temple before winding his legs around Wade’s waist and pulling him forward, impaling himself on Wade’s hard cock.
Wade clenches his hands in the sheets on either side of Peter “.....guuuuhhhh…” his teeth clack together and Peter can feel his husband shake under his hands.
“...Its ok Wade...let go….” he rubs his husband’s neck and kisses his cheeks. Wade looks up at Peter, his eyes watery. “.....let go…” Peter repeats.
Wade’s hands suddenly fly to Peter’s hips as he presses him into the mattress. Wade snaps his hips brutally and desperately into Peter’s, starting a firm and frantic pace.
Peter briefly muses that he’s so desperate….it's like they've never fucked before…
Wade pounds Peter into the mattress, the bed frame shakes, the pillows fall to the floor and Wade is lost completely in the feeling of having someone who loves him, wants him.
He needs to remember what this feels like.
Wade suddenly sits up pulling Peter to his chest as he resumes his frantic pace, lifting Peter up by the hips before slamming him back down, grinding Peter’s hips around his cock.
Peter bites down on Wade’s neck, desperately trying to stifle his moans, worried that Ellie would wake up and find them. Wade knows that the fanfic writer wouldn't traumatize Ellie like that and fucks on. The sounds of wet slaps, stifled moans, and creaking mattress springs echo around the room.
Peter bounces on Wades lap, his cock bouncing between their bellies as Wade’s fingertips press bruises into the meat of Peter’s ass.
Wade jerks Peter’s head from where he was biting into Wade’s shoulder in order to kiss him roughly. Peter still can’t figure out why Wade is crying.
Wade sucks hickies into Peter’s long creamy neck and shoulders, planting bruises and teeth marks everywhere he can reach. Peter groans dazedly and dimly realized that those are going to be a bitch to cover up tomorrow when he goes to work, but doesn't even think of asking Wade to stop.
Wade runs rough hands over every inch of Peter, memorizing, savoring. He dips his head down to Peter’s chest to roughly suck and bite his nipples. Peter yelps as Wade twists the buds between his teeth, never stopping the relentless pace he’s set for their love-making.
“....Wade...Wade….” Peter whispers and Wade knows that he’s trying to tell him he’s about to come.
“Not yet baby boy, not yet, just a little longer baby, just a little longer…” Wade pleads with Peter, he wants to make this last as long as he can but he just can’t control himself.
“WADE!” Peter yelps and Wade can feel him clench around his cock and Peter’s cum drip down his abs.
He tries to fight it, to keep pounding into Peter, to keep Peter in his arms, to keep this moment going forever, because he knows, he knows that this is where fics end.
The way Peter arcs though, the way he call out his name, the way his muscles clench around him is too much and Wade pulses hotly inside Peter.
Peter pants in his lap, stroking along the ex-merc’s shaking muscles before he leans in to kiss him languidly. Peter carefully pulls himself from his husband’s softening cock and flops down onto the mattress. Peter pulls Wade on top of him, peppering Wade’s brow with small kisses. He giggles and massages Wade’s shoulders.
“...I love you Wade…” he whispers into a scarred ear.
Here they lay together, two heroes who faced the world together, a family held together by-
“STOP!” Wade jerked upright, he clutched Peter to his chest and looked pleadingly at the ceiling.
“I know an outro when I hear one writer!” Wade yells accusingly at the ceiling.
Peter, squished against his husband’s chest had been enjoying the afterglow, what the hell happened?
Peter squirmed against Wade “What the hell Wade! Whats wrong!”
Wade tucked his head against Peter’s neck.
“Baby boy its a fanfic! its ending! its ending and I’ll lose you! I don’t want to lose you! please not after this! please!
Peter frantically stroked Wade’s neck and shoulders, trying his best to comfort him. “Wade?? honey???”
Wade shook his head against Peter’s shoulder, sobbing.
“I’ll just keep talking baby boy!! If I keep talking the author has to keep writing dialogue, I can keep it from ending, I can keep you, please, please! Keep writing! keep reading! keep me with him! Keep reading! don’t let it end! I can’t lose him! I won’t lose him! I don’t care if you have to write until your fingers fly off! let me keep him! let me keep him!!”
Peter stroked across his husband’s jaw, Wade was crying into his shoulder. Peter was desperate to calm Wade.
Peter leaned in to kiss his husband.
And he was silenced.