Chapter Text
He was Diluc shadow. Always the little brother, never set up for success. The orphan from the other nation is taken in by the wealthiest family in Mondstadt. That was all. As he grew older, he tried to be more than a shadow. That’s when he forced himself to become more outgoing and loud.
And it worked.
At least for a time being. Then Diluc, his *beloved* brother, got his vision. Which put him back in the shadows once again. It was even harder to outshine his success right now. He realized it the most when they were training together to join the Knights of Favonius in the future. Before vision, their strength was even, making training together fun and always brought Kaeya joy. But after it became clear that Diluc became stronger, that vision empowered him. And with newfound strength came new praises from everyone around Mondstadt. And it hurt the teenager. Especially since he was visionless, and it wasn’t guaranteed that he’d ever get one. So he had no choice but to get used to it. Being the shadow, he wasn’t meant to be, but, he had to keep up his demeanor. He noticed people liked it more than his true self.
“I wish it was you who died”
That’s why hearing those words hurt so bad. That’s what he heard when their father died. It wasn’t even his fault.
“Y-you don’t mean it r-right?”
Kaeya stuttered, looking at his older brother. Looking for any signs of forgiveness in his eyes. Yet the only thing he saw there was disgust and despair. As the redhead took a swipe with his claymore to end his miserable existence, a shield formed out of nowhere. The Dawn bounced back, melting it to the ground. Diluc only spat at him and as he was turning away, he said one thing that would never leave Kaeyas mind.
“Pathetic”
And with that, he walked away, leaving his former brother crying on the ground. Kaeya didn’t know how much time passed, but when he finally got the courage to open his eyes, the first thing he saw was cryo vision shining lightly on the ground. The boy started crying even stronger than before. It wasn’t meant to happen this way. Not when his father died and his brother, the only family he had, turned his back on him.
—
Some time has passed, and his wounds never healed. He had to move out of his home and currently had both no place to live and a job. The only money he had was spent on alcohol, as it helped him cope with the sad reality. But it was never that easy. Besides Cat’s Tail, the only place to get drunk was none other than Angel’s Share. And it was the only place for him to go since Margaret refused to sell him any more alcohol. So he stood up from the ground, still hungover from the night before, and went to the tavern, praying he wouldn’t meet the red-haired man there. Luck wasn’t on his side for the past few weeks.
“Get out”
The first thing he heard when he came into the room.
“My, my” Kaeya faked a smile, trying to keep up his charming tone
God, he couldn’t even recognize his own voice anymore. It sounds so empty, emotionless.
“You’ll still earn the money from me, so why kick me out?”
Diluc only turned his back on him. Not to show how much it hurts him, he just closed his eyes for a second, taking a place on a bar stool. Everyone was gossiping about what happened last month. They assumed he was the killer. His efforts at telling the truth went in vain, as nobody wanted to listen to it. What fueled the rumors even more was Fatui’s appearance in Mondstadt. They came just a few days after the tragic events. Obviously he ordered his usual, Death After Noon, and observed Fatui lounging around in the tavern. The official reason they came by the city was some diplomatic nonsense. Before he could think more about it, he heard the loud *thud* and his drink was ready.
“You really think you’re doing something here? At least the money will come back to its righteous owner”
That was all the bartender had to say. Yeah, like he didn’t know it wasn’t his money. But it was in his possession, so he will use it as he pleases. Even if it means wasting away. And getting possible alcohol poisoning. So yeah, that’s how his night went on. Much to his dismay, a few hours into the night, he got served a grape juice. Fucking grape juice out of all things. When he tasted it, he spit it all on the bar, earning a disgusted look from Diluc.
“I never knew you hated me that much”
He turned around to make a dramatic leave. And it didn’t quite work out. Cause as soon as he took the first step, his legs stumbled on a carpet.
“Fuck”
Kaeya mumbled under his breath, ready to fall face first onto the wooden floor. Not like he cared much at this point, anyway. So he just closed his eyes and prayed he wouldn’t break his teeth.
“Hey comrade, hold still”
He heard a cheerful tone next to his ear and right after felt a firm grip on his waist that prevented him from falling. The tavern suddenly fell silent. It bothered Kaeya. That’s why he refused to open his eyes or even move. The grip on his waist became stronger, and he heard the same person again.
“Get back to your work for fuck’s sake”
This time he sounded harsh, scared, even the blue-haired. But it certainly did its job, as the Fatui in the tavern started talking again, taking the attention back from two men. Finally, he peeked through his eyes and as they went outside; he saw a slightly taller ginger kid. Or more like a man. Honestly, he was too drunk to care. He just wanted to be left alone to whale in his misery. Maybe even find someone drunk on the city streets and drink with them.
“Why thank you, but I shall take my leave”
Obviously, he wasn’t that tacky not to express his gratitude towards his savior. Still tried to avoid eye contact, so he won’t feel embarrassed when they pass each other on the streets of the City of Freedom. Not waiting for the response, he turned around again to venture further into the city. But the world started spinning suddenly. Never mind, he can handle a little dizziness. But before he could walk any further, the same man grabbed his wrist. His hands were so warm. Warmer than anything else he felt for a month. For another time today, he froze in place, waiting for the worst to come. He could’ve easily killed him, rape him or something. He wasn’t afraid of death. Don’t get him wrong. But at the slightest thought of getting used, he started trembling. His companion must’ve sensed it, since he reacted immediately.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
He turned the drunk man around and held him by his shoulders, so he won’t fall again.
“I don’t h-have any money, leave me alone,” Kaeya said, still trembling from fear and also cause he almost puked from turning left and right “but if you want to kill me, then please do it and end my suffering”
He scowled when the stranger grabbed his wrist again and, without a word, pulled him towards the hotel. Is that how he’s gonna die? Stabbed in a hotel room like some whore? But on the other hand, he’ll be dead at least.
“Don’t you dare talk about yourself like this! I have no idea what happened, but you don’t deserve it”
He did not know how the stranger could have so much faith in him. Just like he said, he doesn’t know him and does not know how terrible Kaeya is as a person. But he didn’t have any willpower to argue, and those were the only words the man said until they got into the hotel, where he basically yelled at the guard who tried to stop him.
“But Sir, we aren’t supposed to let anyone who isn’t Fatui. Those are orders”
The guard said weakly, being scared by a higher rank officer.
“And do you really think I care about your stupid orders? Do I have to remind you who I am?!”
He raised his voice, waking up people in nearby homes and probably everyone else in the city. His eyes beamed purple for a moment, and the guard momentarily moved out of their way, bowing his head in shame.
“No, Sir Tartaglia. It won’t happen again”
“Good or I fire you personally, and you probably already know what it means”
The man named Tartaglia then turned around to look at Kaeya, who was standing there with eyes wide open, trying to get a hold of what just happened. How can he be so calm and then a second later almost kill the guard? That’s just incredible in drunk Kaeya’s mind.
“Come on comrade, this guard won’t bother you anymore”
And with that, he got pulled again. Inside the building this time. He was in the Goth Hotel a couple of times when he was younger. He used to play here with Diluc when his father was having banquets. But those weren’t happy memories; they brought only pain. He grimaced at the thought of it. That’s why he was drinking, to forget about all the good times. This time he didn’t resist while being dragged upstairs, basically reconciled with his fate. He’s gonna die within the next hour.
“There we are”
The soft voice brought him back to reality. They were standing in one of the biggest bedrooms in the hotel. The stranger took off his shoes.
“How are you feeling?”
Before Kaeya had a chance to reply, he felt all the alcohol coming back up his throat and ran to the second room, where he assumed the bathroom was. Thanks to Barbatos, it was the right room. He fell on his knees, hurting them against the marble floor, and started vomiting into the toilet, praying the other person won’t follow him. But of course his life is an eternal suffering, and right after he collapsed onto the floor, the boy sat next to him.
“How about you take a bath?”
He asked, brushing Kaeya’s hair from his face.
“How about you just kill me right now?”
This time, he sounded more confident, yet his voice was still weak. He closed his eyes, waiting for a killing blow, but nothing like this happened. He only heard a loud laugh. He opened one eye back again and winced when he swept his blue hair from his right eye, revealing the shiny eye shimmering in the dimmed bathroom light. He closed both eyes again and moved his head to the side, ashamed. In the process of being homeless, he lost his eye patch and started using his hair as a cover.
“Don’t hide away from me, your eye looks lovely”
A hand moved his head back, and Kaeya felt a thumb caressing his cheek. It wasn’t lovely; it was ugly and made him a monster. He hated it more than anything else.
“Why?” he asked with a pained voice, “why are you helping me?”
It was still a mystery to him. No one showed him kindness in quite some time. Not even people he knew his whole life. And then a random boy with so much joy in his voice appeared and lent him a hand. Suspicious, to say the least.
“Once I was just like you,” he replied, helping Kaeya sit up on the bath rim, “abandoned by everyone in my life, and you don’t deserve to go through it”
When he made sure Kaeya was sitting comfortably, he started combing through his hair.
“But you don’t know me. You do not know who I am” Kaeya still wasn’t sure about this whole idea. “You saw me for the first time like what, 3 hours ago?”
“Here you are wrong. I was observing you for the past 2 weeks. How everyone refused to help you, turning their backs on you. You said we don’t know each other, so why won’t we introduce ourselves?” he stopped combing Kaeya hair for a second to look at him “I’m No. 11 of the Fatui Harbingers, code name Childe, but I also go by Tartaglia.” he smiled lightly again “and you are?”
Oh, so he’s also with Fatui. Now rumors will go haywire again. There were at least a dozen people who saw them together. And Diluc, he witnessed it. No, no, no. It’s a disaster. He didn’t realize he went silent until Childe started talking again.
“Hey comrade, I told you who I am, please tell me your name”
This time he sounded more shy, insecure. Like he really did something wrong, while he was just being nice.
“Kaeya” he replied simply, “former citizen of Mondstadt, now probably seen as a betrayer”
And that was the truth in his eyes. Everyone hated him, and he had no place to go. He will probably be forced to leave the city soon, anyway.
“Ah, I see it’s a deeper story. If you’re okay with it, we can talk about it after you take a bath”
How was he not startled by what Kaeya just said? He just admitted to betraying his people. Even if he didn’t do it. It just looked this way.
“You know I’m not here to judge you, right? After all, I’m Fatui. It’s worse than everything you could possibly do. Now up”
He ordered Kaeya to put his hands up, so he could remove his shirt and once he did, immediately tossed it into the trash.
“Hey, that’s the only shirt I own,” Kaeya frowned
“Who said I won’t let you borrow one of mine” he stated like it was the most obvious thing “now before I undress you any further, let me” Childe leaned past him to turn on hot water, to fill up the tube “are you injured?”
“Just getting hungover,” his stomach rumbled, “and hungry, I guess”
After it, Childe undressed the other man fully and helped him get into the bath. When Kaeya moved his hand to grab the washcloth, the ginger protested.
“Nuh-uh. I’m taking care of you today.” and that’s when Kaeya suddenly became shy. He wasn’t used to people taking care of him. "Only if you let me through”
“You already did a lot without asking me, so go on I guess,” he replied, turning his head away
It’s not that he was always ashamed of his body. Just recently, he lost a lot of weight and his ribs started poking through his skin. When Childe started washing him, he shivered a little under his touch. The other treated him like he’s gonna fall apart. After he was done with his body, he moved onto Kaeya’s hair. The blue strands also became dull and weak, just like him. Trying not to pay any mind to it, he relaxed into the other touch. Closing his eyes and letting his mind go blank, for the first time in a while. It felt almost peaceful, like he won’t be tossed onto the streets back again once the boy was done with him. Once he almost dozed off, he felt two hands picking him up. One on the small of his back and the second under his knees. But decided not to pay it any mind, since it feels comfortable, and he’s way too tired for protesting. Childe laid him on a queen-size bed and went to the drawer. He started rummaging through it and finally found what he was looking food. With a triumphant face, he turned back again to Kaeya, who was suddenly wide awake once again. His eyes were roaming around the room and there was panic written all over his face.
“Kaeya” Childe said loudly “Kaeya” he repeated himself when he got no reaction from the latter “what’s going on?”
“You’re gonna kick me to the streets, right? Please don’t lie to me” he finally laid his eyes on Childe and looked him in the eyes
“Why in the Sevens would I kick you out?” the taller one approached Kaeya carefully and sat next to him, covering his bottom with a blanket. “you’re not going anywhere, yeah? You’re staying here with me”
He was feeling extremely sorry towards blue-haired male. It seemed like someone hurt him deeply for him to be so cautious. It almost pained him.
“I hope you are not lying to me Childe” that was the first time he referred to him by his name
“I can promise you I’m here to stay, Kaeya,” he replied in a soft voice, tucking some loose strands of hair behind his ear
Then he proceeded to dressing him up in his clothes. Nothing special. Just a plain t-shirt and material shorts. Right after that, the room was filled with the bell noise.
“And that’s probably our food. Wait here for a sec, and I’ll grab it.” Childe stood up, kissing his head quickly, and opened the door.
There it was, a full tray of Mondstadt specialties. He had no clue what the latter liked, so he literally got everything. He shoved the door closed, startling the maid behind it, and got back to Kaeya.
“Now eat up and tell me what’s been bothering that pretty head of yours”
He sat behind Kaeya and sneaked both arms around his waist and put his chin up on the other man's shoulder, listening to his story.
By the time he finished both eating and his story, Childe was already fuming. Unconsciously, he also tightened the grip on Kaeya's waist, making him move uncomfortably.
“I-is everything alright?” he asked, trying to fight himself some more room in the taller one arms. “I mean, it’s quite a lot to take in, but can you please stop trying to strangle me?”
Tartaglia, like woken up from a trance, let go of Kaeya and started pacing furiously around the room.
“Those bastards. They have no idea what really happened and how you feel. And they still dare to treat you this way. I swear to Celestia above, I’m gonna kill all of them,” he started walking towards the door “they’ll learn their place,” he opened the door with a swing, but was stopped by someone “don’t look at me this way. They deserve it”
Kaeya just pulled him back inside.
“Please don’t. There are already rumors going around that I’m collaborating with you guys. I don’t want it to escalate. I still have to live here after all”
Not that he really desires to stay here forever. This confession seemed to cool Childe down. Sure, he still was angry, but no longer wanted to murder a whole town.
“Fine, whatever you say dear” he let the smaller one lead him to bed, “but you have me now. So you don’t have to face them alone.”
“You’re tired and are rumbling. Go to sleep Childe” Kaeya let go of his hand and went towards the cough
‘And where do you think you’re going?” he protested, getting up instantly once again “the bed is big enough for both of us and I saw you naked” he giggled watching as Kaeya turns back to him, blushing “oh don’t get shy on me now. I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself”
And that’s how Kaeya gave in. For some reason, he couldn’t resist that smile. So he hopped on the bed and almost purred in satisfaction. It was so soft and smelled so nice. God, he wished he could stay like this forever. He got under the duvet and turned his back to Childe. But before closing his eyes, he said one thing.
“Thank you for everything Tartaglia”
It was barely a whisper, tho, but meant the world for the ginger one. As Kaeya was drifting away, once again he felt a hand around his waist and a pair of long legs tangling with his own. He could also feel the incredible warmth and a heartbeat of the other man thought the shirt. The last thing he remembered before falling asleep was a kiss on his neck.