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Langa and Reki were at their usual spot for lunch, both crossed legged on the hot pavement of the school's rooftop, watching Langa doing skate tricks on the little screen of Reki's phone, well, more like Reki was watching because Langa was too busy eating…
and occasionally focusing a little bit too much on how their shoulders and thighs bumped each other every time the boy moved excitedly while talking over the video, how that lingering touch so small, quick and insignificant could leave him feeling so hot inside his chest and with a sparkling sensation on the place even after a few seconds.
They're best friends so it's not like this is something new.
Eating together, being a little bit too close when Reki showed him videos that excited him, spending every single minute of the day together, even if that meant staying at Dope Sketch when the other's shift was over, sometimes Reki would bring him snacks at work because somehow he always knew when Langa's hungry, just as Langa always knows when Reki is anxious and needs to blow off some steam by skating at the park, even if Langa is not that good at social cues, he always knows, they have been like this every day since they met.
Then why?
Why is that suddenly out of nowhere he feels so, flustered, towards his best friend?
Of course Langa knows why, and it definitely wasn't out of nowhere.
He would say he's been falling for Reki since the day they met, it is just recently that his body has made him painfully aware of how strong the falling in question was.
But he's not about to let his feelings interfere with their friendship, the first real friendship he's ever had, the first person who actually gets him, the person who showed him how to be happy again, when even he believed all color was lost.
He can't afford to lose Reki.
So all he has to do is keep his feelings in check, easy, he's always been told that showing feelings wasn't his forte, Langa thought, but still...
Physical contact is not something that he's used to and it is not news that Reki is very fond of it, so you can't really blame him for being a little uncomfortable right? no, not uncomfortable, more like embarrassed, more like-
"Dude! how can you even do that? It looks so scary" said Reki pulling the other out of his thoughts.
"I dunno" Langa shrugged looking at himself doing a skate trick on Reki's phon.
"it's exciting so i just do it i guess"
"Haha that's why you're the best of the two of us" said Reki, bumping their shoulders a little harder jokingly,
"That's not true" argued Langa but was quickly cut off by "I bet you're not scared of anything huh" said almost like a challenge.
" I'm scared of many things" answered Langa
"oh yeah like what?"
Langa just stared at Reki's features, his face wide smile, the way the sun catched in his eyes making them brighter that usual and shining with amber streaks, similar to the way they glistened in the thrill of a beef or just skating along side Langa with an orange and purple sky as background, the way he was starting to get very subtle freckles thanks to the summer sun and how he was only able to see them because of the closeness, to this thought some blood started to get to his face.
And apparently he stared for too long because Reki just answered "thought so"
"well I've never seen you scared before either" said Langa taking one of the egg rolls on his bento box, just as an excuse to separate his face off of Reki's before the blush was too obvious.
"For starters I could never do those tricks you do" "I think you could" Langa said.
"Well yeah sure, but if I started doing reckless stuff like you, who would patch you up later huh?" Answered Reki "hmm fair" and Langa stuffed another egg roll in his mouth.
"Cmon, let's head back to class, the faster we finish school the faster we can go to your house" Reki said standing up and holding a hand out for Langa to do so too.
"You're really excited over my mom inviting you to dinner with us isn't it?" Langa took the hand and both of them headed down the roof stairs.
"Well I've never met her and she's cooking for me, of course I am! plus I wanna leave a good impression"
"Don't know why you wouldn't, everybody likes you Reki" said Langa with a soft smile, now both sitting at their places in the classroom.
"Stop" is the only thing Reki said before looking away hiding the blush on his text book, as if Langa was about to believe he was interested in anything the textbook had to offer, still, he tried not to think too much about it, not allowing himself to get carried away just because of a small blush, not to get his hopes too high.
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"T-thank you so much for inviting me today Mrs. Hasegawa" Langa tried not to look too fond of how cute Reki was, being all educated and formal talking in front of his mom.
They were all now sitting on the Hasegawa dining room, Reki and Langa side by side while his mom in front of them served the dinner, in this situation Langa couldn't help but think that in another reality he could be introducing Reki as something more than a friend, but of course that was impossible, something reserved only for his wildest dreams.
"Oh it's nothing, Langa talks a lot about you so i'm glad to finally get to meet you" answered Mrs. Hasegawa
"M-mom could u not" now it was Langa's turn to stutter, to which she only laughed.
Langa hasn't explicitly told his mom about his feelings for Reki but he's realistic and his mom is not dumb so she probably already figured it out.
"So Langa told me you teached him to skate, right?"
"Well he was already pretty good at snowboarding so I didn't do much really" said Reki, getting a little more comfortable into the conversation.
"Not true! I couldn't even stand on the board without falling" said Langa in the middle of stuffing his mouth.
"My, that's where all those bruises came from, just be careful both of you okay?" "Also Langa, don't eat with your mouth full darling" repended Mrs. Hasegawa.
"Sorry," Langa apologized looking down at his plate and Reki huffed a laugh.
Aside from some occasional embarrassment thanks to his mother, to which he wouldn't care if it was literally anyone else but Reki, Langa would say the dinner was a success.
They found themselves cleaning the table and going to Langa's room after it.
"C'mon I have some videos of cool tricks to show you"
It was not the first time Reki was in Langa's room so with that characteristic confidence of his, he just threw himself into Langa's bed, while this one tried not to look too flushed, thinking how pretty Reki looked there.
Like he belonged just right,
burrowed in his sheets and pillows,
warm and safe,
how his colorful hair and clothes stood out in the white of Langa's room,
maybe he could leave some of his scent on the bed, and maybe Langa will have dreams later that night about them sleeping together, about how nice Reki's lips would feel against his cheek, about burrowing his face on the crook of Reki's neck and getting to inhale his scent,
-like clothes that dried in the sun and that citrus detergent his mom used, mixed with the shampoo he has to share with his sisters that somehow just feels so right on him-
About kissing him so much under the bed sheets Reki would giggle and Langa would kiss him even more and-
"Are you just gonna stand there?" Reki said laughing a little and breaking his dream bubble for the second time that day "you have been more distracted lately than usual,you okay dude?" Added with a tint of worry.
"Ye-yeah" Langa cleared his throat, suddenly feeling hot.
"Just thinking" Langa's painfully obvious feelings for his best friend weren't new to him, he's pretty sure these started the moment Reki drove that skateboard over Langa the first day they met, and he was fine with just keeping these for himself, he was fine with the friendship that they had…
That was of course until he wasn't.
When lately every word or move Reki did had Langa blushing and stuttering and wanting more, more of Reki's smiles, - that even tho he smiles at everyone because he's just nice like that, sometimes it feels like the smiles directed at him are brighter, warmer-, more of Reki's hands on his upper arms when he wants to catch his attention, more of them watching skate videos together, more of Reki's soft hair under his fingers, just more Reki.
more more more.
"Whatcha thinkin about?" Said Reki, probably hearing the gears on Langa's head, to which Langa blushed and changed the subject
"Uh didn't you have a video to show me?"
"Right! C'mere" Reki patted the spot in the bed beside him, and Langa obeyed.
After some videos of skateboard tricks Reki wanted to try and some of cute animals, Langa looked up to the window.
"It's starting to rain" said mindlessly, watching how the raindrops fell on the glass, one striking harder than the other.
"Uh, do you think it's a storm?" Reki seemed a little pale also looking at the window.
"Hope not, the light goes out sometimes when there's a storm"
"W-what?" A little tremble in Reki's voice
"Um you know what, maybe- maybe I should head back home before the rain it's to strong and I can't right?" Said Reki standing up from Langa's bed.
Then there was thunder and Reki flinched.
That's when Langa understood.
"Reki do you.. are you scared of lightning?" Another one followed by Reki's shaky hands "Wha-what do you mean? I'm just scared of getting home wet hah" And Langa couldn't be fooled, so he extended his hand to reach Reki's but before he could the lights were out, surprised for a moment, the only thing he heard was a tiny shriek from Reki.
"Reki, are you okay? Do you see anything?" Of course he didn't, Langa was starting to get worried, he wasn't very good at comforting other people but he knew Reki needed him right now and he wanted to help, he couldn't bear to think of Reki shaking in the middle of the dark all by himself.
"La-langa.." Langa had never heard Reki's voice that trembled, Reki was scared of a lot of things and Langa was aware of this, still, he never let any of his fears get the best of him, he never stopped smiling no matter what, so hearing him like this was breaking Langas heart.
"I'm right here, it's okay" Langa tried to sound comforting. "Can you come here?" Tried again.
"I-i can't see anything" The other answered, so Langa stood up from his bed as he could and careful not to trip he walked to the door looking for Reki, then his hand reached something and he knew it was Reki's arm because as soon as he felt it, Reki was already in his arms, hugging him.
"It's - it's okay" without letting him go, Langa guided both of them back to the bed where he found his phone and quickly turned the flash light on, another lightning and Reki hugged tighter, now being able to see, Langa laid down with Reki and covered them both with the sheets, careful to not point the flash directly to Reki's face and still holding him in his arms, he looked at the red haired boy and put a hand on his cheek, cold skin and shaking body.
"Reki, Reki it's okay, look at me"
Squinting, Reki looked up with scared eyes and leaning to the touch of Langa's hand.
"Hah this is kinda lame isn't it? Sorry" Reki avoided his gaze again in favor of burying his face on Langa's chest.
"Nono Reki, it's fine I'm just- I'm glad to be here to help you" he held tighter.
It was true, despite Reki being insecure or sometimes scared he would always do it by himself, putting walls and not allowing others to see him, let alone help him, this worried Langa but mostly it just made him sad, Reki was helping him all of the time, patching him up when he fell skating because he knew how Langa gets with blood, teaching him how to know when someone is angry at you even though Langa still doesn't seem to understand, reading hard words for him because japanese was still kinda hard.
With all this, why can't Langa be the one to help Reki this time? He would be happy just knowing he's useful.
"Guess you are in fact not scared of anything huh?" said Reki trying to lighten the mood and be brave as always, to which Langa only melted.
"I am" said in a whisper, almost hoping Reki didn't hear him.
"what?"
"I am scared of something" Even if Langa didn't have something to teach like Reki, or wasn't good at comforting others, if it was for the sake of the boy who made his days brighter, the boy he was in love with, maybe,
Maybe he could try.
"And what is that?" Asked Reki.
"You"
Reki separated from the hug a little to look at Langa with confusion and now he was avoiding the amber eyes.
"Well, more like- more like my feelings... for you"
After a second of Langa only being able to hear the raindrops on his window and his heart going at a definitely not healthy pace, Reki spoke.
"I- I don't understand, are you... are you saying what I think you're saying?"
Ah
Langa knew he couldn't back pedal now so he took Reki's face in his palms and looked right into his eyes.
"Reki I like you" Reki was awestruck, looking into Langa's soul with his wide eyed gaze.
"And it's fine if you don't like me back, I'm just trying… I just thought you should know, because I like you so much Reki and you seem to not notice how amazing you are, so brave and smart and kind and I'm so thankful to you for teaching me how to skate, because now I have a reason to live and I know it sounds exaggerated but I mean it, you- you always teach me something and explain things that I don't understand and you teached me to be happy again so… Thank you Reki"
Reki was still awestruck, a second passed, tears formed in his eyes and Langa froze, taking his hands back from Reki's face.
"Sorry, did i- did I say something wrong? Are you still scared? I'm so sorry I didn't mean to-"
Suddenly Reki was close,
too close,
arms around his neck and mouth on top of his, Langa was confused, but he wasn't new to sentiment so he allowed himself to drown in Reki's lips, they were chapped and despite how cold his face was just moments ago, now everything felt warm, just as he expected but also a thousand times better than what he dreamed, suddenly he realized what was happening,
he was kissing Reki,
Reki was kissing him,
They were kissing in his bed and he just confessed and he was still confused. Langa pulled from the kiss a little, in part to ask what was happening and in part to calm himself before his heart would simply explode.
They both were panting with their foreheads against each other
"Sorry was it too much? It's just… you were saying all those things and I- I kinda got carried away because I was so happy you also liked me hah" said Reki embarrassed but still looking into Langa's eyes.
Oh
"You... you like me back?" It was kind of a question but also kinda just Langa saying it to himself to be sure.
"I mean yeah, I thought I was being pretty obvious all this time" Answered Reki with half a laugh.
Oh… ohh
Langa just clasped their lips again, his heart was pounding harder than ever he thought he was gonna die, but honestly he couldn't care less, because he was kissing Reki and Reki liked him back and his lips tasted a little bit like tears which wasn't a good thing but for now it wasn't bad either so who cares, they were kissing!!
After a couple seconds he remembered he had hands, and that he could put them in places, so that's what he did, with one hand he held Reki's waist just like he always dreamed of, and with the other he finally got to feel his hair, impossibly soft in between his fingers and Langa melted at how much Reki seemed to like getting his scalp scratched, so he kept doing it.
This is all he ever wanted.
Reki in his bed kissing him with his arms around his neck, getting to watch up close how his eyelashes fluttered against his cheekbones with every scratch on his hair, a whine-like sound coming out of him, which melted Langa's insides at the same time that a fire ignited, a fire he didn't know he had, the little crook on his nose that Langa always wanted to kiss, so he did,
once,
twice,
trice,
How he didn't have to count because from now on, he could kiss it as many times as he wanted.
They both separated for air, panting and smiling, looking into each other's eyes filled with fondness that neither of them had to hide anymore, not that they were good at doing it anyways.
"It's kinda late, I don't think I can go home now huh" said Reki giggling, looking at the dark street by the window, the moon barely visible because of the still clouded sky, just now noticing that the rain had stopped, leaving in the air this scent of wet pavement and cold nights.
"I guess you could stay for tonight" Said Langa and pecked a kiss in Reki's jawline just to see how he giggled even more, then another on his eyelashes which were now dry from tears.
They sighed in happiness, kissing clumsily a little more before falling asleep in each other's arms, cozy and safe because now both knew that at the end of the day it didn't matter who had more or less fears, as long as they kept each other warm, they could overcome anything.