Chapter Text
Wednesday, 8:47 am
Gumball has created a group chat called “among us sussy imposter balls”
Gumball: guys please help me what’s the answer for number 12
Espresso: …….aren’t you literally taking a test right now?
Gumball: yes that’s why I need the answer
Espresso: We aren’t even in the same class. How on earth am I supposed to aid you?
Gumball: I’m literally struggling and ur refusing 2 help me smh my head
Espresso: Instead of actually trying to figure out the question, you made a group chat instead? Are you that dumb?
Gumball: ma’am I am peeing myself idk what the fuck the answer is
Espresso: Alright fine, jeez. Give me the question.
Gumball: The points (1, -1), (−1/2,1/2) and (1, 2) are the vertices of an isosceles triangle? Yes or no
Espresso: ………..
Gumball: waht?
Espresso: For fucks sake. It’s a yes or no question. Just guess.
Espresso: You could’ve even looked up the question instead of wasting my goddamn time and yours.
Gumball: I’m just girlbossing yknow?
Espresso: You aren’t ‘girlbossing’. You know what you are, though? Failing your fucking class.
Gumball: okay yeah but what’s the answer queen
Creampuff: the answer is yes Gumball now stop talking and get back to the exam before the teacher sees what you’re doing and gives you a 0
Espresso: I hate these goddamn Sophomores.
————
Wednesday, 9:36 am
Milk: I’m so confused what happened here
Milk: and why am I in a group chat?
Blackberry: Gumball wanted some help on his geometry test. Instead of trying to figure it out himself, he risked a failing grade and made a group chat in hopes someone would know the answer.
Rye: wow that’s
Rye: that’s fuckin stupid
Pomegranate: dumbassery has no bounds
Strawberry Crepe: neither does ur homosexuality u fucking lesbian
Licorice: okay who invited the little shit
Strawberry Crepe: look who’s talking, twink ass. I can break your scoliosis spine with my toes
Licorice: I’ll fucking kill you
Strawberry Crepe: with what? Try me, twinkle toes
Pomegranate: both of u stfu before I kill u both
Sparkling: Jesus Christ what is happening
Sparkling: and why is the group chats name…that
Parfait: ngl guys as an empath the vibes I’m getting aren’t very swaggy
Golden Cheese: yeah me either the vibes are just not it
Sparkling: WHY ARE THERE SENIORS IN THE GROUP CHAT
Sparkling: WHY IS ONE OF THE ANCIENT 5 IN THE- WHAT!?
Sparkling: IM SO CKNFUSED RN WTF IS HAPPENING
Yam: SVERYKNE SHUT UP UR BLOWING IP MY PUONE IM TRUING TO PAU ATTENTIKN
Parfait: silent mode exists for a reason, hun 😘😘
Yam: I’m going to kill your fucking parents
Parfait: kill my mom first I have crippling mommy issues
Kumiho: omg same bestie moment
Parfait: love u bestie 😘😘
Kumiho: 😘😘
Yam: Jesus fuck kill me now
Gumball: okay
Gumball: so
Gumball: I think some explaining is in order
Creampuff: ya think?
Gumball: uhhhhhh there’s a group chat now. That’s it
Yam: that’s it?
Gumball: yesh
Vampire: omg a group chat pog
Vampire: @Alchemist
Vampire: @Alchemist
Vampire: @Alchemist
Alchemist: WHAT DO YOU FUCKING WANT YOU CRETIN
Vampire: hi
Vampire: ur big bro loves u 😘😘
Alchemist: actually fucking kill yourself go die in a hole I hate you
Vampire: I’ll tell mom U said that
Alchemist: I’ll tell her u got ur brains banged out by some random kid in our school after a party
Herb: oh! A group chat! Hello, friends!
Herb: I-
Herb: wow
Herb: I’m going to pretend I never read that
Vampire: wtf that never happened stop mud slinging u fucking midget
Alchemist: whore
Black Raisin: can both of u please shut up you’re so annoying
Golden Cheese: no keep going I love when siblings fight
Golden Cheese: wanna place a bet on who doesn’t invite who to the others wedding?
Black Raisin: no wtf is wrong with you. Pay attention. Ur one of the ancient 5 ffs
Golden Cheese: I’m one of the 5 because I’m athletic not bevause I’m smart
Parfait: omg kinnie moment
Golden Cheese: parfait I’ve just met u but I just want u to know I love u
Parfait: Ily 22222222
Golden Cheese: I love u just as much as white lilys mommy milkies
Black Raisin: Jesus Christ
Strawberry: what is going on?
Black Raisin: finally, a student with common sense
Strawberry: hi?
Strawberry: my phone kept going off while playing Genshin. I just wanted to see what was going on.
Sparkling: you’re missing everything and nothing at the same time
Sparkling: get out while you still can
Strawberry: huh?
Vampire: I just wanted to say that my brains are still intact. I never got them banged out, nor have I ever banged. Alchemist is a lying scoundrel.
Strawberry: huh!?
Golden Cheese: so you’ve admitted ur a virgin
Strawberry: HUH!?
————
Wednesday, 1:13 pm
Lilac: I finally checked my device
Lilac: what is this?
Pastry: hell, probably
Red Velvet: and this is coming from you
Pastry: what’s that supposed to mean?
Red Velvet: lightning mqueen fucked my dad ☹️☹️
Pasty: come again?
Dark Enchantress: why do I choose to hangout with you?
Red Velvet: bevause ur like my mother figure since I have mommy issues
Golden Cheese: mommy sorry mommy sorry mommy sorry mommy sorry modjKFKSNDKS🦛🐍🦏🦐🦛🦛🐪🐍🦓🦐🦎🦛🐪🦎🦏🦖🐪🦕🦬🦖
Pomegranate: my love, what did you do?
Dark Enchantress: I threw a pencil at the back of her head
Golden Cheese: JOKES ON YOU IM INTO THAT SHIT
Lilac: why does everyone in this chat seem to have mommy issues?
Kumiho: it’s a gay ppl thing you wouldn’t understand
Parfait: preach!!
Lilac: I’m literally dating yogurt cream
Kumiho: okay? And?
Lilac: I can kill you
Kumiho: that’s anti-woman
Raspberry: Lilac please excuse Kumiho’s behavior. She’s got a few screws loose
Lilac: noted
Kumiho: kill urself. Both of u
Chili Pepper: yo is this a bad time to say that someone smeared shit all over the bathroom walls?
Herb: glad to know that everyone’s getting along nicely 😶😶