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Rose put her hand on her husband’s arm him as they walked towards the house. “Do you hear that?”
Ray stopped. He’d parked a little closer to the front door than the studio, in deference to his wife’s advanced pregnancy. She was only about two weeks away from giving birth, and her tiny frame looked like it was all baby. He frowned, titling his head to try and hear what Rose had. “What is it?”
“It sounds like crying.” She went towards the studio. “Look, the door’s open.”
“Crying? Like an animal?” Ray caught up to her at the wide doors. They were open with a space large enough for a small dog, or maybe a coyote. “Wait. What if it is an animal?”
“Then it’s probably hurt, if it’s crying like that.”
Ray stopped her opening the door wider with a gentle hand on her wrist. “Probably. Which means it might be more likely to attack. Let me go first.”
Rose nodded, and Ray slipped inside the studio. It was darker inside than outside, the sun streaming through the windows creating shadows in the large space. “Hello?” Ray called, then chuckled at himself. It wasn’t like a coyote would answer back.
There was the unmistakable sound of a child whimpering.
Ray’s eyes widened as he crossed the room to the piano and knelt by the bench. “Rose,” he called back to her. “Rose!”
She immediately came in and knelt beside him. “Oh Dios mío,” she breathed. Her eyes as wide as Ray’s.
There was a toddler sitting on the floor underneath the piano. He was small, thin and very pale, which made the rings under his eyes look as dark as bruises. His little face was streaked with tears, and his eyes were red-rimmed, making their colour a startling bottle green. His T-shirt was stained with what looked like food, his diaper bulging with needing to be changed. There were no shoes on his little feet. He had his fingers in his mouth, his other hand was clutching the edge of his T-shirt like it was a blanket. His dark hair had been cut short, like a soldier’s.
“What’s he doing here? Do you think he’s lost?” Ray asked inanely.
“I hope he’s just lost,” Rose said. She leaned under the piano as much as her large belly would let her. “Hey, baby,” she crooned. “My name’s Rose. You look like you could use a cuddle.”
The boy looked at her, then his little face crumpled. Tears ran down his cheeks and dripped onto his shirt as he whimpered, but he stayed strangely quiet.
Ray’s heart immediately broke. “Por el amor de Dios! Let me grab him.”
Rose’s outthrust arm stopped him from diving under the piano. “Do you want to frighten him?” she hissed. “He’s already upset!”
Ray took a breath but sat back on his heels, trusting Rose. She had a way with people of all ages. “Fine. Work your magic.”
She smiled and then turned back to the baby. “You look sad and a little scared. And maybe hungry? Do you want to come out for a cuddle and a cookie? We have some really nice cookies here.”
“Isn’t he too young for cookies?” Ray asked.
“I think he’s about eighteen months, which means he can eat cookies.” She focussed back on the boy, who’d stopped crying at the mention of food. “What do you think? Want to come out for a cookie?”
The baby took his fingers out of his mouth. “Ooky?”
“Yes, that’s right! Cookies.” Rose beamed at him. “And a cuddle, too. Would you like that?”
He looked at Rose, then at Ray, like he was trying to decide. Ray held himself still, with what he hoped was a warm and unthreatening smile on his face. He really wanted this little boy to trust him.
“Come on, baby,” Rose said gently. “Let us take care of you.”
The baby nodded in a semi-coordinated movement of his head. He scootched forward on his diapered bum. It left a little wet streak along the floor.
Rose put out her hands. “Can I pick you up?”
He put up his little arms, which weren’t nearly as pudgy as they should’ve been for a child his age. “Uppy-uppy.”
“Uppy-uppy,” Rose repeated. She moved until she was sitting at the edge of the piano and took the baby into her arms. He could barely squeeze onto her lap with Rose’s belly in the way, but he leaned into the expansive curve of her stomach like he had no more strength to hold himself upright. If Ray’s heart wasn’t already broken, that would’ve completely shattered it.
There was a folded note pinned to the back of the baby’s shirt. “What’s this?” Ray plucked it off and opened it. His eyebrows shot up.
“What’s it say?”
“Running away from his abusive father. Reginald was born Feb 26, 2003. Please keep him safe and don't look for me,” Ray read. “Madre de Dios.”
“He’s been abandoned.” Rose’s voice was laced with horror. “Who would do that?”
“A desperate woman.” Ray stroked his hand along the baby’s back. A fierce protectiveness was growing inside him. Something he’d only felt when Rose told him she was pregnant. Mine, whispered in the back of his mind. “We should get him inside and cleaned up.”
“Oh, yes.” Rose stroked her hand over the baby’s head. “The skin on his bum must be very sore from wearing the same diaper this long.”
Ray did a mental inventory of their nursery, already fully stocked, thanks to the love of their family and friends. “I think we might have a few toddler-sized diapers.”
“And at least one larger onesie,” Rose agreed. “As long as he doesn’t mind wearing pink.”
Ray chuffed out a laugh. “I’m sure he won’t mind.”
“I’m sure you’re right,” Rose said. “You know we’re going to have to call the cops.”
Ray nodded. There was no question they’d have to involve the authorities. Someone had abandoned this child; the police would definitely need to know. “Yeah, we will. But let’s clean him up and feed him first.”
“Yes,” Rose said. “Help me up?”
Ray stood and helped his wife to her feet. She propped Reginald on her hip, his head resting on her chest, his fingers in his mouth. He looked tiny and sad and all Ray wanted to do was scoop him up and hide him from the world. He took a deep breath and led Rose back towards the house, hand at the small of her back. Is this the way it feels to be a dad? he asked himself, the intense desire to protect this child with his own life? He didn’t even know Reginald, but the feeling was already there.
Mine, the voice whispered again. Rose’s gaze met his in that moment, like she’d heard his thoughts. He could see the same possessiveness he felt in her eyes.
He didn’t know how, but Reginald was going to be theirs.
“I told my lawyer about your situation with Reggie,” Bobby said when Ray and Rose met him two days later. They were in Bobby’s living room in his gorgeous, albeit somewhat sterile, house in Bel Air. “And don’t worry, she’s damn good. Got me approved to adopt in less than four months."
“Four months!” Rose looked at Ray, aghast. Her eyes were red-rimmed from crying. “Reggie can’t be away from us that long!”
They didn't want to be away from Reggie that long, either. He’d been taken by Child Protective Services with the assurance he’d be sent to a loving foster home. Watching a stranger walk away with him had been one of the hardest things Ray had ever done. Rose had been crying on-and-off ever since.
“I hear you, Rosie, but the system works the way the system works. It can take six months or longer to get approved under normal circumstances. Four months is nothing.”
“But what if he gets adopted before then?” Rose’s voice was tight with fear, her hand on her belly like she was protecting their unborn child from the terrible idea. “What if—”
“It’s going to take them at least a couple weeks to see if they can locate Reggie’s family,” Bobby said. “And Annalise is already using her connections to ensure Reggie comes to you if they can’t be found.”
Rose nodded. “Okay. So we just have to hope he doesn’t have any family?”
Ray’s mouth twisted. “He probably has family, cariño. Most people do.”
“Then why didn’t his mother bring him there?” Rose challenged him. She shook her head. “No, Ray. That baby came to us for a reason. He’s meant to be ours. I know it.”
“Just talk to my lawyer. See what she says. She’ll probably have more information in a couple days anyway.” Bobby put his arm around Rose and she leaned against him. Ray’s heart panged at the sight, remembering when Bobby used to be part of them and not just a friend.
“Thank you,” Rose murmured against his chest. “Thanks so much, Bobby.”
“Hey, what’s all my money for, if not shit like this?” Bobby kissed the top of her head, and it was right on the tip of Ray’s tongue to ask him to be with them again, but he didn’t. They were friends now. Best friends. It would have to be enough.
“So, what do we do now?” Ray asked.
“The hardest part,” Bobby said with a grimace. “We wait.”
“Hello, Mr. Molina, Mrs. Molina.” The lawyer greeted them.
“Ray and Rose, please, Ms. Keating,” Ray said as he shook her offered hand.
“Then you have to call me Annalise. Please take a seat.”
Ray pulled the chair back for Rose, and she sat carefully, their newborn tucked safety into her arms. Julie was sleeping, her beautiful eyes softly closed and her ridiculously long eyelashes brushing her cheeks. Ray pulled his gaze away with difficulty. He could spend hours just looking at the miracle that was his daughter.
“She’s beautiful,” Annalise said admiringly, but then her gaze sharpened. “Are you sure you want to adopt a toddler when you have a newborn?”
“Absolutely,” Rose said with breathtaking conviction. “I can’t imagine our life without Reggie.”
Ray nodded emphatically. “He’s meant to be part of our family. I know having them both together will be hard, but we'll make it work. I know we will.”
Annalise smiled. “You don’t need to convince me, Ray. I was just confirming.” She turned to the file on her desk. It was thicker than Ray would’ve thought, considering Reggie was so young. “Did your case worker tell you we found Reggie’s father?”
Ray and Rose shared a surprised look. “He didn’t,” Ray said, pulse pounding. If Reggie’s father claimed him, he wouldn’t be made a ward of the State and couldn’t be adopted. It was the worst-case scenario and exactly what Ray had feared. “How did they even find him?
“There weren’t too many babies named ‘Reginald’ born in February of last year in the United States, let alone California. It wasn’t too hard to track his parents down through his birth registration.”
“So, he does have a family.” Ray’s heart sank. The information was devastating.
“Does Reggie’s father want him?” Rose asked, voicing Ray’s fear. “Because the note his mother left—”
“He doesn’t,” Annalise said with gratifying immediacy. “The officer in charge of the investigation told me the father spent all his time trying to get the location of Reggie’s mother. He showed no interest in Reggie, his whereabouts or his wellbeing at all.”
“¡Maldito Bastardo!” Ray swore. He looked over at Julie, sleeping peacefully in her mother’s arms. He couldn’t for the life of him understand how Reggie’s father wouldn’t care about his son.
Rose’s dark eyes were full of hope. “Did he sign the papers though? Did he make Reggie a ward of the State?”
“He did,” Annalise said. “Which means Reggie is available for adoption. And as soon as you’ve been approved by CPS, he’s yours.”
Ray’s heart leapt. His eyes met Rose’s, which were mirroring his excitement and hope.
“We can adopt him?” Rose asked.
“Yes, as long as you’re approved,” Annalise confirmed. “But I doubt that’s going to be too much of a concern. Expect a call from a caseworker within the week to get everything started.”
Ray jumped to his feet, unable to stay seated. He couldn’t believe that sweet little boy was going to be theirs.
Rose was standing beside him, and he hugged her, careful to not disturb the sleeping infant. She clung to him, her face buried against his chest. He could feel her breath hitching as she tried not to cry. Ray met Annalise’s eyes over Rose’s head. “Thank you. Thank you so much. You have no idea…” His voice broke.
“Just doing my job.” Annalise smiled. “Now you do yours, and show the caseworker what amazing parents you are.”
“We’ll do that. Don’t you worry,” Rose said as let go of Ray. She wiped at her eyes, grinning widely despite her tears.
Annalise’s smile broadened. “Oh, I’m not worried at all.”
“You ready?” Ray asked softly.
They were standing on the front stoop of the home of Reggie’s foster parents. True to his word, Bobby’s lawyer had helped get them approved to adopt in just over four months. They’d immediately put in the paperwork for Reggie, and then went through the long and complicated process where Reggie’s case worker and their case worker decided if they’d be a "good fit".
Rose was rocking forward on her toes, practically vibrating with excitement. “I’ve been ready for months.”
Ray beamed at her, so happy to finally be making their family complete. He pressed the doorbell. “Then let’s get our son.”
A moment later the door opened. Emily stood on the other side. “Hello, Rose, Ray! You’re right on time. Please, come in.”
Rose gave her a quick smile before squeezing by her into the house. Rose had reverted back to her usual proportions a few weeks after Julie was born.
Ray followed them into the house. Reggie and Emily’s son, Luke, were seated on the playmat in the living room, surrounded by toys. Reggie had a pink car in one hand and a plastic horse in the other, while Luke was banging enthusiastically on a toy piano. They both looked up when the door closed.
“Hello, Reggie,” Rose said.
Reggie’s startling green eyes widened in surprise. He beamed, his whole body lighting up. The toys fell from his fingertips as he raised his chubby arms skyward. “Mami!” he shouted, using the Spanish word for “Mommy” Rose had taught him, “uppy uppy!”
Rose had him scooped up in her arms in the next second. “¡Mi ángel precioso!” she crooned at him. “¡Mi dulce bebé!” She nuzzled his hair.
Reggie sagged into her, his arms around her neck and his face buried against her shoulder. He sighed contentedly and closed his eyes. Ray’s heart swelled looking at the two of them together. His wife and his son. He loved them both so much.
“Well,” Emily said, “I suppose I should get his things. Can you please watch Luke for me for a moment?” Her smile was as bland as always. She went up the stairs.
Ray got down on the mat. “Hey, Luke,” he said to the other little boy. “What you got there?”
“Pano!” Luke hit the keys, making a very unmusical sound. He grinned broadly, showing off his tiny baby teeth. Luke was five months younger than Reggie, and probably ten times more energetic. Ray sometimes wondered how Emily and Mitchell managed to keep up.
“Is that a piano?” Ray smiled at him. “Do you like music?”
“Pano!” Luke said again. Then he pointed at Reggie in Rose’s arms. “Gigi.”
“Yes, that’s your friend Reggie,” Ray agreed. “He’s coming home with us today.”
Luke frowned. “Gigi go?”
“That’s right. He’s going to live with us now. We adopted him.” He wasn’t sure why he was telling Luke all this; the little guy was probably way too young to understand. But he knew how close Luke and Reggie had become in the last six months while Reggie lived with the Pattersons. It didn’t feel fair to take Reggie away without Luke at least knowing why.
“Gigi go? Go ‘way?” Luke’s forest green eyes filled with tears.
Ray’s heart clenched. “Don’t cry! He’s not going far. You’ll see him again.”
“Gigi go!” Luke wailed, tears rolling down his round cheeks.
Rose folded herself down to the mat without disturbing the baby in her arms. “Oh, Luke. You’re so sad your friend is leaving.”
“Gigi go.” Luke’s head dropped forward, tears dripping off his chin.
Reggie scrambled out of Rose’s arms and hugged his friend. “No, Luke. Don’ cry.” Luke hugged him back, still crying.
Ray looked at Rose helplessly. He felt awful for separating the boys. Adopting Reggie was meant to be a joyous occasion, not something that would cause him even more pain.
“It’ll be alright,” Rose said to Luke and Reggie. “We don’t live very far away. We’ll have playdates and sleepovers, and you guys will go to the same school. You’ll see each other all the time.”
Ray blinked at Rose’s words. He hadn’t even thought about school yet, but Rose was right. They were barely a five-minute drive from the Pattersons and the elementary school was right in between their houses. For sure the boys would be in school together. He could imagine it now: Reggie and Julie coming home from school with Luke in tow. The idea made him smile.
Emily came back down the stairs with two bags and Ray got up to help her. She handed them to him, her eyes going to the babies on the mat. “Oh dear. Luke knows Reggie’s leaving?”
Ray winced. “I told him?”
“I thought I could distract him while you took Reggie,” Emily said on a sigh. “Hopefully that will still work.”
“You know, we don’t live that far away? Maybe the boys could keep having playdates?” Ray rubbed the back of his neck. Even though Emily was only a couple years older than him and Rose, there was something about her that made Ray feel like he was always doing something wrong.
“That would be lovely!” Emily brightened. “I’m sure the boys would be very happy to see each other.”
And you? Ray wanted to ask. He couldn’t imagine being with Reggie for five minutes, let alone six months, without falling in love with him. It was hard to believe Emily wasn’t going to miss him.
“So, who wants to go to the park?” Emily said with the same bright tone. “Luke, would you like to go to the park with mommy?”
“Gigi go park?” Luke asked. He was still clutching Reggie like he was afraid the other boy would disappear.
Rose and Ray looked at each other. “Maybe we could—” Rose started.
Emily shook her head sharply. “Reggie needs to go home with his mommy and daddy,” Emily said. “You don’t want to keep him from his new mommy and daddy, do you?”
The dismissal was very clear. Ray picked Reggie up, taking a moment to enjoy the feeling of the boy in his arms. This was his son. The way it was always meant to be. “We’ll see you soon, Luke. I promise.”
Luke, predictably, started to wail, which set Reggie off. It’d taken a few months, but Reggie was finally crying out-loud. It was wonderful he was recovering from whatever trauma he’d been through, but also hard on Ray’s ears. “I’m going to take him to the car,” Ray said, and fled the house.
Rose came out a moment later with Reggie's bags. She found Ray in the driver’s seat with Reggie on his lap, playing with the steering wheel and the windshield wipers. “Beeb, beeb” he shouted as he turned the wipers off and on. He smiled at her, then put up his arms. He was so much chubbier than he’d been, no longer the skinny, scared boy they’d had to coerce from under the piano.
Rose picked him up and strapped him into his car seat, giving him several noisy kisses in the process before putting his bags in the trunk, and then going to the passenger side.
“Emily is a very strange woman,” Rose said as soon as she’d done up her seatbelt.
“I got that impression,” Ray said. “She’s so judgy.”
“I know!” Rose frowned. “And really cold. It’s like Luke’s not her child at all.”
“Oh, yeah.” Ray nodded. “I would’ve thought a foster parent would’ve been a lot warmer. But maybe she’s like that so she doesn’t get too attached?” He glanced over his shoulder to Reggie, who was contentedly staring out the window as he drove. He really was the most easy-going child.
“Maybe,” Rose said doubtfully. “But Luke is a sweet little boy. I really hope he and Reggie can stay friends.”
“We’ll make it happen,” Ray said. “We’ll have playdates and sleepovers, just like you said.”
“That’s what I want. Lots of playdates and sleepovers. All of Reggie and Julie’s friends coming over all the time.”
Ray smiled at the dreamy look on his wife’s face. “We could foster too, if you like.”
“I would,” Rose said, “but maybe when the kids are older? Right now, I just want us to be their mom and dad.”
“Mom and dad,” Ray repeated. “I really like the sound of that.”
Rose’s smile made him warm all over. “Then let’s get our baby home.”
Bobby threw open the door to Ray and Rose’s house. “Let me see him!”
Ray grinned broadly and stood to the side so Bobby could see Reggie, curled up in Rose’s arms. Reggie had clearly decided Rose was his mother and preferred to be in her arms over almost anywhere. Ray got that. He liked being held by Rose, too.
“Here he is.” Rose turned so Bobby could see Reggie’s face. Predictably, Reggie smiled and Ray watched as Bobby literally melted.
“Damn, that’s one cute little kid,” he said admiringly as they all went back into the house. “Almost as cute as Carrie.”
Ray snorted in amusement. Bobby was sure his baby girl hung the moon and the stars. Although he was right: Carrie was very cute. Although not as cute as Julie, in Ray’s humble opinion.
The two cuties in question were in the living room, sitting on the floor almost the same way Reggie and Luke had been, only Bobby had propped Julie up with a nursing pillow because she wasn’t quite ready to sit on her own. Julie saw the toddler in Rose’s arms and she immediately wiggled in excitement. “Dada!” she called, pointing at her brother.
“Ju-ee!” Reggie said happily, and leaned sideways in Rose’s arms to get to the floor. Rose put him down and he went right to the little girls. He sat with them and Julie reached out and gently batted him on his cheek, then giggled.
Carrie eyed him suspiciously and clutched the toy rattle she was holding.
Bobby crossed his arms and sighed contentedly, watching the children. “Look at him with the girls. A born big brother.”
“He really is the sweetest kid,” Ray agreed. “Hardly ever cries.”
Rose leaned against Bobby and he shifted so one of his arms was over her shoulders. “That may change now he’s home,” she said. “The case worker said he might start acting up when he gets more comfortable.”
“Oh yeah, my case worker said the same thing about Carrie. That she’d stop sleeping through the night and not want me out of her sight. Turns out even babies know when someone’s given them away.”
“It’s so heartbreaking,” Ray said. “The way Carrie and Reggie ended up in our lives.”
Bobby’s eyes went soft as he spoke. “I can’t regret it though. Having Carrie is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Not the AMA, not the Grammys. Nothing has come close to how I feel about her. Well, except you guys.”
Ray’s gaze shot to Bobby’s, trying to gauge if he were joking.
“You were the best thing that ever happened to us, too. Before the kids,” Rose said before Ray could.
“We had something pretty good, didn’t we?” Bobby said wistfully. “But damn, it was hard.”
“Because you made it hard.” Ray couldn’t keep the note of bitterness out of his voice. “You were the one who left, Bobby. Rose and I were in it for the long haul.”
“I know. I know. And that was the problem. I was so fucked up, Ray. Such a fucking mess after my brother died. And you know the fame didn’t help with any of that.” He shook his head. “Breaking up was for the best.”
“Was it?” Rose challenged him. “Are you happier now, without us?”
Both Ray and Bobby looked at Rose, surprised at her outburst. “Rose, we shouldn’t talk about this. Not in front of the kids,” Ray said.
“I’m tired of this, Bobby,” Rose said, quieter but no less vehement. “I’m tired of having you in our lives, but not having you. I want—”
“You think I don’t want that?” Bobby cut her off. “You think I don’t go to sleep every night, or wake up every morning missing the two of you? I miss you guys like my left arm! But life doesn’t work like that. We can’t just pick up from where we left off. We can’t—”
It was Ray’s turn to interrupt. “Why not?” he asked. “Why can’t we pick up from where we left off, Bobby? What’s stopping us from trying?”
Bobby’s mouth opened and closed, at a loss for words. He swallowed, a graceful movement of his Adam’s apple Ray couldn’t help but track with his eyes. “Because it’s been over four years, and you’ve had each other the whole time. There’s no way you’d still feel the same.”
“God, you’re an idiot,” Rose said and threw her arms around his neck, pressing her lips to his in the same movement. Bobby froze for a moment, then wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in tight against him, his mouth slotting over hers.
Ray’s pulse leapt in his throat the way it always had when he saw his lovers together. Something loosened inside of him and he inhaled deeply, feeling like he was finally breathing for the first time in five years.
Bobby gently drew back from Rose, their foreheads touching and his hands around her waist. “God, I’ve missed you.”
“We’ve missed you, nuestro corazón,” Rose said. “Now, go kiss Ray, so he can show you he’s missed you as much as I have.”
Bobby went to Ray, hands open. “Ray?”
“Oh, fuck, yes!” Ray grabbed Bobby by the collar and pulled him in for a kiss. Bobby’s beard was new, but his mouth was as sweet as Ray remembered. He licked along the seam until Bobby opened for him, and Ray let his tongue slip inside. Bobby moaned softly and Ray’s hands went to Bobby’s hair, gently tugging.
Bobby chuckled against his mouth. “Jesus, Ray. You remember exactly what I like.”
“I didn’t forget anything about you,” Ray said as he pulled back. “Including how much I love you.”
“Jesus,” Bobby said again. “I love you, too. Both of you. I never stopped.”
Rose curled into his side, eyes on the three children, still playing contentedly. “That makes all of us. Bobby, let us try again. Please?”
“Yeah,” Bobby said. “Okay. Yeah. I’d really like that.”
“Oh thank God,” Ray said on a sigh. He couldn’t imagine kissing Ray like that and then having to pretend they were all “just friends” again.
“But we need to do a better job of communicating this time,” Rose said. “Because now there are children involved, and us breaking up again will hurt them, too.”
“Absolutely. And… I might already be seeing a counsellor?” Bobby grinned sheepishly.
“You are? Bobby, that’s great!” Ray hugged him.
“Gracias a Dios,” Rose said reverently. “Bobby, you’ve needed this for a long time.”
Bobby’s gaze fell. “I know. Adopting Carrie helped me figure it out. I just want to be the best dad for her, you know? I figured I probably couldn’t if I hadn’t dealt with my shit.”
“It’s really brave, you doing that.” Ray kissed his cheek.
Bobby took his hand, and Ray’s heart swelled. It felt like he’d been waiting his whole life to be able to touch Bobby like this. He’d missed him so much.
“Thanks, Ray,” Bobby murmured, leaning his head against Ray’s.
“It’s getting late. I think it’s time we started dinner for the babies,” Rose said. “And probably for ourselves as well?”
“I vote mac and cheese,” Ray said.
“Vetoed.” Bobby pulled out his phone. “I took the liberty of having my chef make us all something nice, including something mushy for the girls. It should be here in the next twenty minutes.”
Rose’s face lit up. “Bobby! That’s so sweet!”
Bobby grinned. “I thought it’d be a nice way to welcome Reggie to his new home.”
“And yours too, if you want,” Ray said. “You know we have plenty of room.”
Rose’s eyes widened with happiness. “Ray, that’s a great idea! Bobby, you should move in with us!”
“We’d have to figure out your private chef and your housekeeper,” Ray warned. “And you’d probably have to give up your helicopter—”
“I really don’t give a shit about the helicopter.” Bobby said.
“Hey, Dad!” Reggie bounded through the door and towards where Ray was at his desk, Luke hot on his heels.
“Hey, Mr. Molina!” Luke waved.
“Hey, mijos.” Ray smiled at the two boys as he looked up from his computer. “Door and shoes, please, then come give me a hug.”
“Oops!” Reggie grinned and dashed back to shut the front door, then he and Luke kicked off their sneakers before coming back.
Ray stood and embraced Reggie, giving him a kiss on the side of his head. “How was school?”
“It was great, Mr. Molina!” Luke said, briming with enthusiasm as usual. “Mrs. Harrison’s music class was banging."
“Luke, you know you can call me Ray,” Ray said for what felt like the hundredth time. He gave the other boy a hug.
“Oh yeah, I forgot.” Luke smiled awkwardly.
“It’s because of your ADD.” Reggie nudged him with his elbow. “You should put a reminder in your phone.”
“Like I’ll remember to look at it!” Luke scoffed. “Hey, where’s Julie?”
It was terribly obvious that Luke was crushing hard on their little girl. She was entirely oblivious, which suited Ray just fine. There’d be plenty of time for crushes and dating when she and Carrie went to Reggie and Luke’s high school next year. “She’s out with Flynn and Carrie,” Ray said. “And before you ask, Carlos is at baseball, and Rose and Bobby are at the studio. So Reggie and I are making dinner tonight.”
“Can I stay?” Luke asked, at the same time Reggie asked: “Can Luke stay?”
“Luke can always stay.” Ray ruffled Luke’s hair. He smiled at the boy, but inside he couldn’t help but be worried. Luke was spending more and more time at their house the older he got. It made him worry for what was going on in Luke’s home. “I was thinking burgers on the BBQ. ¿Bien?”
“¡Bien!” Reggie echoed. “And I’ll cut the onions.”
Luke’s face immediately screwed up. “I won’t have to eat those, will I?”
“No.” Ray laughed at Luke’s expression. “You know the rules. No one has to eat food they don’t like.”
Luke beamed at him, looking both happy and relieved, and once again Ray wondered what was happening with his parents.
Which reminded him. “Hey, Reggie, what do you think of this guy?” He gestured towards the computer.
Both Luke and Reggie leaned over to look at Ray’s screen. “Who’s that?” Reggie asked.
“His name’s William Ross, but he goes by Willie,” Ray said. “He’s the same age as you both. He was living with his grandmother but she recently died, so now he’s in foster care. Rose was wondering if we should adopt him in?”
“He’s really cute,” Luke said.
“Yeah,” Reggie agreed. “Alex would love him.” He winced. “Don’t tell Alex’s parents I said that.”
Alex had met Reggie and Luke the first day of music class in freshman year, and they'd become fast friends. Ray couldn’t say Alex’s parents had made such a favourable impression. “Don’t worry, mijo. I feel the same way about them that you do.”
Reggie flashed him one of his sweet smiles and turned back to the screen. “He looks really nice,” Reggie said finally. “His eyes are really kind.”
“Nice, huh? Any red flags?” Reggie had a well-honed ability to read people, and his gut instinct was highly accurate. If Reggie liked someone, they were worth liking.
“What happened to his parents?” Luke asked before Reggie could answer.
“They kicked him out for being gay,” Ray said with a grimace.
Reggie and Luke’s expressions immediately darkened. “His parents are the worst!” Luke exclaimed.
“We have to take him,” Reggie said. “And no. No red flags. He’s a good kid, dad.”
“Like my other good kid?” Ray poked Reggie in the side, making him chuckle.
“He means like Julie,” Luke said, then laughed when Reggie swatted at him.
“If you guys think we should take him, I’m going to need to call our adoption lawyer,” Ray said. “Reggie, the number’s in your file. Can you grab it for me? I think its in the cabinet in the spare room, marked ‘Reginald 2005’.”
“Ugh. 'Reginald'.” Reggie made a face over his shoulder as he headed for the stairs. “Why didn’t you change my name to something cool?”
“Reggie is cool!” Ray called after him.
“I like it!” Luke shouted to Reggie as he disappeared up the stairs. He rocked back on his heels. “So, there’s a winter semi-formal for the Freshmen and Sophomores in December,” he said, way too casually.
“Oh, yeah?” Ray leaned back in his chair.
“Yeah,” Luke said. “And. Um. Julie likes dancing, right?”
“Yes, Julie likes dancing,” Ray said, and then: “Why do you ask?” just to tease him a little.
Luke’s blush didn’t disappoint. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, uh. I was wondering if I should—"
The front door opened and Julie and Carrie came in, followed by Rose and Bobby, who were holding hands. “Look who we found in the driveway!” Rose laughed.
Ray sat up, happiness filling him as he saw his wife and husband and the two girls. “You’re home early!”
“The recording took less time than I thought.” Bobby shrugged as he kicked off his shoes. “Besides, we missed you.”
“Hi, Papi!” Julie ran over and gave Ray a quick hug. Ray held her for as long as he could before she gently pushed away. She was thirteen now, and becoming too cool to hug her dad. It broke Ray’s heart a little. “Hi, Luke.” She poked Luke in his shoulder, and he went bright pink.
“Hey, Julie,” he muttered, while Rose, Bobby and Ray exchanged amused glances.
“Where’s Reggie?” Carrie asked after she also gave Ray a perfunctory hug.
“Getting his adoption file for the number of the lawyer,” Ray explained. He tilted his head back for Rose and then Bobby to give him a kiss. “Mis amores,” he said.
“Ew!” Carrie and Julie said in unison. Bobby laughed, but Rose scowled at both of them.
“Sex is a normal part of life, mijas.” She waggled her finger at them. “Just wait until you both fall in love.” Luke’s blush deepened with Rose’s words, and Ray hid his smile behind his hand.
“Adoption papers?” Bobby bent down to look at Ray’s computer. “Rose, is this the kid you were talking about?”
“He’s cute,” Carrie noted. “Alex will like him.”
“Don’t tell his parents,” Julie added.
“We already talked about that, and none of us are gonna,” Luke said. “And Reggie says he’s nice.”
“Are we going to adopt him?” Julie asked. “He could have my room.”
“Yeah, Julie and I could room together again,” Carrie said. “It was fun when we were little.”
Ray smiled at the girls, touched by their generosity. “We can convert the upstairs music room into another bedroom,” Ray said. “But only if all of us agree.”
“I agree,” Julie said.
“Me, too,” Carrie added.
“Me, three,” Luke said with a grin. “You guys need more boys in the house.”
Julie put her hands on her hips. “Hey! There’re four boys in the house already. Maybe we should adopt another girl instead.”
“You make a good point,” Rose said with a smile. “But I think before we consider adopting a girl, we should talk about whether or not we want Willie to come live—"
Reggie appeared back by Ray’s desk, holding his adoption file open in his hands. “Papi?”
Ray straightened, immediately realizing something was wrong. He got out of his chair. “Reggie, what happened?”
“I looked in the file to find the lawyer’s number, and I found this.” He held up a photocopy of a note.
Rose gently took it from him. Her hand went to her mouth. “Dios. I’d completely forgotten that was in there.”
“What is it?” Luke stood on his toes to peek.
“It’s the note that was pinned to Reggie’s shirt the night we found him,” Ray said.
“I remember you guys telling me about that,” Bobby said softly. “I didn’t know we had it.”
“You never showed me,” Reggie said. “Why didn’t you show me?”
“Because the police took the original, and I forgot all about it,” Ray said honestly. “Trust me. Finding that note was the least important part of that night.”
“But it says she was running away from my father. Is it true?” Reggie’s green eyes searched Ray’s. “What the note says. Is it true?”
Ray’s heart hurt at the confusion in Reggie’s expression. “I don’t know,” he said honestly.
“The police never found your mother.” Rose stroked his hair. “I’m so sorry.”
“You’re my mother,” Reggie said absently. His pressed his bottom lip between his teeth. “Do you think she… ever thinks about me?”
Rose stroked her hand over Reggie‘s head. “For sure she thinks about you. know I’d think about you if I wasn’t with you. I’d think about you every day.”
Reggie smiled sweetly at Rose before looking back at the note. “Did she get away?”
“I don’t know,” Ray said again. He’d often wondered about Reggie’s biological mother, and what had happened to her. “But I really hope so.”
“Me, too.” Reggie eyes were still on the note. “It was really brave of her to leave me, wasn’t it?”
Ray paused, unsure how to answer. He knew for himself he’d have rather died than have abandoned any of his children. But maybe she’d felt exactly the same way and had to leave Reggie anyway. They’d probably never know. “Yeah,” Ray said finally. “It was really brave.”
“I don’t have a letter like that, do I?” Carrie asked Bobby.
Bobby rubbed her shoulder. “No, sweetheart. You had an open adoption and we send your biological mom a Christmas card every year letting her know how you’re doing. You can meet her any time you want.”
“Cool,” Carrie said, like she didn’t really care, but she went to Rose for a hug.
Reggie was still staring at the note. He traced a finger over the words. “I wonder if I’ll ever meet her.”
“Maybe someday,” Ray said.
“She’ll be really proud of you,” Luke said. “You’re really good at math, and, like, the best bass player in the school!”
The corner of Reggie’s mouth curved up. His eyes sought Ray’s. “Do you really think so?”
That was much easier to answer. “Yes,” Ray said, “I do.”
Los Angeles was colder than she remembered.
Dorothy shoved her hands deeper into the pockets of her jacket, wishing the zipper worked so she could close it. The wind coming off the ocean was damp and went right through the layers she wore. She didn’t know what she'd been thinking, coming back to Los Angeles at the end of February. She’d always hated the cold.
She wasn’t sure why’d she come, really. There hadn’t been anything for her in California in almost twenty years. Even the house she'd lived in with Bradley and Reggie had been turned into a bike shack. There wasn’t anything left of her old life at all.
She strolled along the boardwalk, the sharp breeze ruffling her hair. She’d cut it as soon as she’d crossed the border into Arizona and she’d never grown it back. Another sacrifice she’d had to make to escape her life with Bradley. She really missed having long hair.
There was a band busking on a section of the boardwalk, their music carrying on the wind. It was lively pop-rock with a catchy tune and an infectious beat, and she let herself be drawn towards it, already smiling.
The band was made up of four boys and one young woman. The woman was obviously their lead singer, and her strong, clear vocals rang out above the melodious sound of the boy’s instruments. The lead guitarist had shaggy brown hair and a wide smile, which he mostly shared with the woman on vocals. It was obvious he was madly in love with her to anyone who was looking.
The drummer had straight blond hair and looked extremely happy to be banging out the song’s rhythm on a collection of pails that had been turned into makeshift drums. Beside him was a long-haired boy on a violin whose mouth was made for smiling. The classical instrument shouldn’t have worked as well with the rock sound as it did, but it added a depth to the music that made it even more appealing.
She turned her attention to the brown-haired bassist, who was smiling radiantly as his played, his green eyes glinting in the sunlight.
Dorothy’s heart faltered in her chest. She knew those eyes. She’d seen them darken in anger more times than she’d ever want to remember. They were Bradley’s eyes; and that was Bradley's narrow face and straight brown hair.
It was Reginald. Her son.
She stared at him, an aching pain filling her chest. He’d grown up so strong and handsome, even if he’d never quite made his father’s height. He'd been so small as a baby; never enough to eat because of Bradley's addictions, never anywhere safe because of his violence. But the way he smiled reminded her of her own father: bright and happy and like he didn’t have a care in the world.
A myriad of emotions welled up in her like the tears welling in her eyes: happiness and regret, shame and pride, and over all, an intense feeling of relief. A sixteen-year weight lifted off her shoulders all at once. She was finally free.
The song ended with the woman holding a final note for longer than Dorothy could’ve held her breath. She clapped along with the handful of people who’d been watching, several of whom put bills into the open guitar case to be added to the money already there. Clearly they’d done well.
“Thank you!” the lead guitarist said, his eyes shining. “We’re Sunset Curve!”
“Tell your friends!” Reggie shouted, making the blond drummer roll his eyes, which made the one with long hair laugh.
“That was great!” the lead boy said. “Should we do one more?”
“It’s getting cold, and Dad’s going to want us home. Maybe we should pack it in?” the young woman told him.
“Yes, lets. My hands are freezing!” The one with long hair said, although his smile hadn’t dimmed at all.
“Oh, we could have some hot chocolate!” Reggie said happily. He took the bass off his shoulder. “Maybe order pizza?”
Oh shit. They really were packing up. Dorothy panicked. She couldn’t let him leave—her son—without saying at least something to him. But what? “You’re playing was really good,” she blurted.
Reggie turned back, and now the full force of his smile was directed right at her. For a moment she could picture the toddler she’d left behind so clearly it took her breath. “Glad you liked it!”
Dorothy nodded, swallowing against the lump in her throat. “It was really good. You guys are all so talented.”
His smile widened. “Thanks! Hey, you’re not an agent or anything, are you?”
That surprised a laugh out of Dorothy. He looked so hopeful, and she knew she looked exactly like she sometimes slept in the streets. “Afraid not,” she said. “But if I were, I’d sign you in an instant.”
Reggie chuckled. “That’s a big compliment.”
Dorothy took a risk. “So, what’s your name?”
“My name?” Reggie pointed to himself. “Reggie Molina. What’s yours?”
Molina. So he had been adopted. Another small piece of her guilt fell away. “Nice to meet you, Reggie Molina, I’m Debbie Stein.” She used the name she went by now. There was no chance Reggie would recognize it.
“Hi, Debbie.” Reggie grinned.
She grinned back, then let her eyes go to the other teenagers who’d been pocketing the money, packing up their instruments and talking amongst themselves. “So, who’s in your band?” She was so curious about her son’s life, what his family was like and who his friends were. She wished she could just ask, but that was impossible.
Reggie immediately started pointing out his friends. “Luke Patterson’s our lead, Alex Mercer is our drummer. Willie’s on the violin and Julie’s the other lead singer.” His smile widened. “Willie and Julie are my brother and sister.”
Willie, Julie and Reggie all looked nothing alike, so Dorothy assumed at least one of them must have also been adopted. It made her glad to see it: the fact that Reggie had siblings and wasn’t alone.
“They look really nice,” Dorothy said, hoping it was true.
“Oh they’re great!” Reggie enthused. “My family's the best!”
“That’s really wonderful,” Dorothy said. Her throat was tight again. “Are you happy?” she asked, needing to hear his answer.
He blinked, clearly surprised by her question, but then his smile turned soft. “Yeah. Yeah. I got my band. Great friends, a great family. Yeah, I’m happy.”
“Good. That’s good.” Dorothy was suddenly embarrassed for asking, and worried the question had somehow given herself away. “You don’t really hear people being happy, nowadays.”
“I guess not,” Reggie said.
An awkward silence descended between them. There was so much more Dorothy wanted to find out. All the things his adopted mother would know, but Dorothy had no right to even ask. She cleared her throat, wishing she could think of anything to say.
“You seem familiar,” Reggie said suddenly. “Have we met?”
Dorothy’s head bobbed back. Her mouth fell open. Did he really remember her after all this time? It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him exactly who she was, but she caught herself, unwilling to ambush him with the truth. His life had been good without her, and who was she to change that? “No, we haven’t,” she lied. “I have one of those faces, I guess.”
Reggie was still looking at her, eyes narrowed like he was trying to place her. Then he shook his head. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
“Reggie, we’ve got to go,” Alex said. He was holding Reggie’s guitar case out to him.
Reggie took it with a smile of thanks. “Sorry, Debbie. It’s been nice chatting, but we’re going now. Thanks for listening!” He immediately occupied himself with putting his bass into the case, his encounter with her already forgotten.
She turned and kept walking along the boardwalk until Reggie and his friends were far behind her. His birthday was coming soon, she realized. He was turning eighteen in less than a week.
She’d nearly forgotten his birthday.
It’s for the best, she reminded herself. She’d been barely scraping by, living hand-to-mouth, while her son had been thriving. Her sacrifice had been worth it. Reggie Molina was happy. He’d told her himself.
It’s time for me to move on, she decided. Get out of New Mexico and go somewhere softer. Maybe back to Arizona or up to Oregon or over to Washington State. Somewhere warm where she could start over again. Maybe she’d even let her hair grow.
When she looked back up the boardwalk, Reggie and his friends were gone.
“Goodbye, Reggie,” Dorothy said softy. She kept walking.
END