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Maya shoulders her way through the apartment door carrying her running backpack loosely over one arm, and the bag of breakfast sandwiches - just acquired from Homegrown on Melrose Avenue - and her keys in her hands. Once she makes it inside she tosses her keys into the bowl on the console table and glances at her Apple watch to check the time. It’s ten past nine, and she figures this is a reasonable time to wake Carina, whom she’d left in bed when she’d gone for her morning run.
Today is a big day, and Maya had woken - early as usual - in need of the endorphins from a good, long run. She’d taken the mile and a half jog to Jose Rizal park and put in a solid six miles around, getting in her stretches with a view overlooking the Puget Sound from the north end of the park, before a slow jog back to source their breakfast.
Maya toes off her running shoes at the door and gives herself a quick sniff to see if she can deal with breakfast first and shower later. She shrugs to herself thinking it’ll likely be fine. She starts the coffee in the Moka pot in order to make Carina an espresso. Maya feels like mastered is too strong a word for it, but she’s certainly got the hang of it after many lessons and much practice. Carina at least doesn’t spit it out anymore , she thinks.
Maya lays out a tray, with the decaf espresso, some juice and the breakfast sandwiches; egg, bacon and cheese for her and egg, avocado and cheese for Carina. She adds some napkins and then the final touch, the little gift bag she’s had stashed at the back of the cabinet. A little pre-procedure, good-luck gift that she’d ordered last week. A silly, but sweet superstition she’d heard about from her research into all things fertility treatments. Once the tray is complete, she carries it down the hall to the bedroom, nudging the door open with her foot.
Maya smiles to herself, seeing Carina has sprawled out in the middle of the bed in her absence. She balances the tray on the bedside table before gently sitting on the edge of the bed next to Carina. She runs her fingers through Carina’s sleep tousled hair and leans over to press a kiss to her forehead. As Carina stirs, Maya whispers gentle morning salutations, lips ghosting at her hairline, to encourage her awake. Carina wakes and stretches out of sleep; she blinks her eyes open, looking up at Maya.
“Buongiorno,” Carina says with a yawn and a smile.
Maya pulls the tray off the bedside table placing it down between them on the bed. “Good morning,” she says eventually, leaning into Carina for a tender kiss, that Carina reciprocates eagerly.
When they part, Carina’s attention is drawn to the tray with a smile, “what do we have here? Breakfast in bed? Did I miss an anniversary?” She teases Maya.
Maya blushes at the attention. “You know you didn’t.” She says, before adding, “It is a special day though. I wanted to do something nice for you.” She smiles self-deprecatingly.
Carina, sensing Maya’s embarrassment, leans up to kiss her cheek. “And I’m very touched, Bella. Thank you.” She says. “Mmmm, you made espresso.” She says when she spies the espresso cup.
“Decaf,” Maya clarifies. I used the decaf coffee grounds, so you didn’t worry about caffeine intake today.” She explains, knowing Carina had been limiting her caffeine intake in preparation for the embryo transfer.
“Thank you, Bella.” Carina say’s again, taking a sip.
Maya notices she missed something on the tray and hops off the bed and dashes to the kitchen, rummaging quickly in the medication box they keep there, until she finds what she needs. She returns to Carina and hands her the preconception vitamin. “Here, your vitamin. I forgot it.”
Carina takes it with a smile and throws it back, washing it down with her orange juice. “Grazie.” She says, then adds, “these things make my pee so yellow.”
Maya laughs, “I know, honey. You tell me that every morning!”
Carina gets off the bed and heads to the bathroom. “Well, I need you to know exactly what is happening every step of the way.” She shrugs and smiles cheekily over her shoulder before closing the bathroom door behind her.
Morning ablutions done, she comes back to the bed and sits next to Maya who is now propped up against the headboard, with half her sandwich in hand. “What did you get?” Carina asks.
“Egg, avocado and cheese for you. Egg, bacon and cheese for me. But we can go halves.” Maya suggests.
“Mmmm, yes.” Carina says, leaning over and taking a bite from the sandwich in Maya’s hand, earning herself an indignant yell in response.
“Hey!” Maya laughs. “Okay, you need to eat, then we’ll do your shot and then we need to get ready to go. Our appointment is at eleven.” Maya reminds her wife.
As she goes to grab one of the sandwiches off the tray, Carina is drawn to the little gift bag. She takes a bite of her sandwich with one hand, and puts the gift bag down in between her folded legs, trying to open it with the other. “What is this?” She asks, putting her sandwich down when she fails to open the bag one-handed.
“Just a little something for the appointment.” Maya says, cryptically. She smiles as she watches Carina eagerly open the bag.
Carina pulls out two pairs of socks with a huge smile on her face. One pair is yellow, a giant pineapple on the left and sticky vibes on the right. The other pair is black, a giant pineapple on the left and transfer day written on the right.
Maya, embarrassed again, ducks her head. “I know we’re not superstitious about this sort of thing.” She starts to justify, “But lots of people do this when they’re going through the process as a sort of comfort I guess. So I just thought…it would be nice for us.”
“I love it, Bambina. You are so sweet.” Carina reassures her.
“Really? You don’t think it’s stupid?” Maya continues to second guess herself. “It’s just the pineapples are the unofficial fertility symbol and the socks are because apparently it’s good to keep your feet warm for implantation or something...”
“They’re great, Maya. Really. We can both wear them. A little extra luck surely can’t hurt, right?” Carina assures Maya.
Maya smiles at Carina’s enthusiasm, her embarrassment waning a little, now she knows Carina doesn’t think she’s being silly. They both turn back to the breakfast sandwiches and finish them off quickly, hunger taking hold despite their underlying nerves for the day ahead of them.
Once they’re both done eating, Maya clears everything away and takes the tray back through to the kitchen whilst Carina gets her things together to get ready for the day. Maya scrubs her hands at the kitchen sink, pops a heating pad in the microwave to heat up, before running the vial of progesterone under the hot water tap to thin the liquid down. She then prepares the syringe, drawing it full of the progesterone. Once done, she takes everything through to the bedroom, where Carina is rummaging for a blouse.
“Come on you,” Maya says, “present that fine ass.” She wiggles her eyebrows, which draws a laugh from Carina.
Carina lies on her front on the bed. She rests her head on her folded forearms. “You’re cute, Maya. But, there's not a lot fine about these bruises.” She says self-consciously.
Maya pulls the edge of Carina’s underwear to the side. She holds the heated pad against a spot that looks less sore; Carina’s flesh marred with bruises from the ongoing daily progesterone shots. She keeps the syringe warm under her armpit for a minute before moving the heating pad. She places a kiss on the spot she's about to jab before she pinches the skin between thumb and forefinger and administers the shot. Carina winces as she does it and as soon as it's over, Maya replaces the heat pad and applies a little pressure. “Sorry, honey. All done.”
Carina smiles over her shoulder, reassuring Maya that she’s okay. She knows that Maya, although trained to administer injections in emergency situations, really hates the idea of causing Carina any discomfort. After a minute Carina moves to get up.
“We better get ready, Bambina. It’s ten now, we’ve not long till we need to leave.”
“I’ll jump in the shower real quick.” Maya agrees, as she heads to the bathroom.
Once both women are ready, it’s ten thirty and Maya is anxious to get on the road in case of traffic. However, as they are just about to put their shoes on, she grabs Carina’s arm to stop her. “Wait, quick. Sit on the couch real quick.” She directs Carina, who does as she’s told with a bewildered look on her face. Maya bends down and lifts Carina’s socked feet up to rest on the coffee table. Maya quickly sets the self timer on her phone camera before checking the picture and then propping it up opposite where Carina sits. She quickly runs to join Carina on the couch where she puts her feet up next to Carina’s before the timer ends and the phone takes the picture.
“Look,” she grabs the phone again showing Carina the photo with both of their sock-ed feet in focus, showing their fertility prints off, the rest of the background out of focus.
Carina beams at Maya, “This is a perfect memento for this day.” She gushes. She leans over and takes Maya’s face in her hands, bringing their mouths together, pouring love into a kiss.
She pulls away and gets up to carry on getting ready to leave. Maya joins her at the front door, slipping on her New Balance, and grabbing her keys out of the bowl. “I’m going to send it to Andy, is that okay?” She asks.
Carina nods her ascent with a small smile on her face, knowing that Maya had opened up to her friend following their egg collection, and not minding at all that Maya was actually sharing her side of this process with someone.
Maya fires off the photo to Andy, no caption required, as Carina ushers her out of the door. As she buckles herself into the driver's seat of the car, her phone sounds to alert to a reply. She laughs at the text response from Andy, turning her phone to show Carina.
Andy (10:34)
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The drive from downtown Seattle to Bellevue is relatively quick, Maya taking them on the 520 east. They arrive just in time for their appointment and Maya takes Carina’s hand as she pulls into a parking space and kills the ignition. She places a kiss on Carina's knuckles.
“Are you ready?” Maya asks.
“More than ready, Bella.” Carina replies with a smile. “Are you?”
“As I'll ever be.” Maya says with a little laugh, knowing that this next step brings more waiting and uncertainty to their immediate future.
She moves to get out of the car, and Carina does the same. Maya rounds the car, and puts her arm around Carina’s shoulders, pressing a kiss to her hair as she feels Carina’s arm circle her waist. They make their way to the clinic like that, pressed against one another.
Once inside they check in at reception and are directed to the waiting area. They sit and wait, Maya’s nerves growing. She feels Carina’s hand on her knee and realises it’s bouncing up and down. “Sorry,” she whispers. “Should have run further this morning, apparently I didn’t run off enough nervous energy.”
“You’re fine, Bella. We’ll be fine.” Carina reassures, taking Maya’s hand in her own.
“I hate all this waiting!” Maya exclaims in a whisper.
“Be patient, Maya.” Carina chides, with no real bite to her words.
Maya scoffs and leans her head back, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath to settle her nerves.
It’s not long until they are called back to the procedure room. Carina is handed a gown to change into, which she does quickly, folding her clothes into a neat pile. Maya laughs as Carina tucks her underwear underneath the other items of clothing in the pile.
“What?” Carina asks.
“Nothing,” Maya says, then qualifies. “It’s just funny isn’t it, when women have appointments like these, we’re preparing to have someone all up in our intimate business, and yet we still insist on hiding our underwear. Every time.” She shrugs her shoulders. “It just makes me laugh.”
Carina, not thinking herself particularly prudish at all, realises Maya is right in her observation and laughs too. She doesn’t reply, but defiantly pulls her underwear back out of the pile, folding them and adding them to the very top. She winks at Maya.
Once she’s ready, they’re shown through to the procedure room, where they confirm her date of birth and identifying information. Their reproductive endocrinologist, Dr Thomas joins them a few minutes later and asks Carina to lay on the treatment table. “How are you feeling?” She asks the couple.
“Nervous and excited.” Carina answers for both of them as she lies back. She reaches one arm up looking for Maya’s hand where she is standing at Carina’s shoulder.
“Totally normal.” Dr Thomas smiles. “I’ve reviewed your thyroid levels again, Carina, and I’m happy that the levothyroxine has brought the numbers to where we want them. The embryologist has just checked the embryo again for us, and is getting that prepared, but Carmen reassures me that the embryo has survived the thaw well.”
Maya sputters, “There was a risk it wouldn’t?” She asks incredulously. Maya learns something new every day it feels like. She feels a squeeze to her hand from Carina in reassurance.
“There’s always a small risk that the embryos don’t survive the thaw.” Dr Thomas explains. “Sometimes these things do happen. But we’re all good today. We are implanting a healthy five-day, grade five, embryo.” She adds with a smile. “Once Carmen is ready, she’ll bring in the catheter with the embryo, for me to insert. Carina, if you’re happy, I’m going to go ahead and get the speculum set up.
Carina nods her ascent, and Maya notices the nurse flick on a monitor and it comes to life in sepia. There’s a bundle of cells shown on the screen, and Maya’s eyes widen. She looks down and sees Carina also fixated on the image on the screen. “Is that it?” Carina whispers.
Dr Thomas nods, “That’s it. We’ll print you a copy of that picture if you like?”
Carina nods eagerly, and Maya squeezes her hand. She leans down and whispers in Carina’s ear “Baby's first photo.” Carina blinks up at Maya with adoration on her face.
As Dr Thomas gets Carina set up, they watch the long point of the catheter on the screen suck the embryo up. A minute or two later, Carmen enters the room and hands the catheter to Dr Thomas, who gets it into position. Carina grips onto Maya’s hand as the transfer is completed. Once done, Dr Thomas removes the catheter and hands it back to Carmen. “Carmen, will just check the catheter to ensure the embryo was definitely expelled. I want you to lay there for the next twenty minutes and then you’re free to get dressed and head home.” Dr Thomas explains.
Carina nods her head. Overwhelmed and unable to speak at that moment.
Maya asks, “and then we have a blood test in two weeks?”
Dr Thomas nods her agreement, “That’s right. The receptionist will book you an appointment for your beta blood results where we’ll hopefully confirm pregnancy.”
Maya nods her head and looks at Carina who has closed her eyes. At that moment, Carmen pops her head back in the room. “You’re all set. No embryo remaining in the catheter. Transfer complete!”
Carina opens her eyes and smiles at Carmen, “Grazie, Carmen.” She says.
Carmen waves her off with a smile and heads back out of the room. Dr Thomas pulls off her gloves and tosses them away in the trash. “I’ll leave you ladies to it. Twenty minutes, then you can get dressed and head out.” She reminds them. “I’ll see you in two weeks.” She says, backing out of the room.
Once they are alone, Carina pulls at Maya’s shirt until Maya bends down. “Baciami.” Carina says and Maya happily obliges.
When they part, Maya brings a hand to rest on Carina’s stomach and Carina brings hers to rest over the top. Neither of them say anything, but sit there like that for the next twenty minutes in awed silence, processing the huge thing they’d just been a part of.
Once their allotted time has passed and Carina is dressed, armed with their printed embryo picture they book their follow up blood test appointment, before making their way out of the clinic. They both step outside blinking in the sunlight, the occasion in the clinic feeling so momentous, it feels to Maya like days have passed, when in reality it had been a little under an hour.
They get themselves situated in the car and Maya turns to Carina. “Do you feel okay?” She asks.
“I do. Well, I feel like this huge thing just happened, but the rest of the world doesn't know it. They’re just going about their business, but potentially our lives just completely changed. Isn’t that weird?” Carina asks.
“Totally weird.” Maya agrees. “But I actually kinda like the idea of just us two having this little thing happening. Feels like we’re in our own bubble. And I love being in a bubble with you.” She adds.
“Captain Bishop, you are such a romantic.” Carina swoons.
“It’s Deluca-Bishop.” Maya reminds her, before leaning over and pressing her lips to Carina’s.
Maya pulls back and starts the ignition. “How do you feel about a pit-stop at the botanical gardens at the arboretum since we’ll be passing on the way home?” She asks Carina, thinking a nice walk in beautiful surroundings would solidify the specialness of this day for them.
She’s pleased when Carina happily agrees. “That would be perfect, Bella.”
Carina glances at Maya curiously when instead of directing the car west onto the 520 to get home, she turns onto 12th street and heads onto Bel-Red Road. “Where are you going?” Carina asks, confused.
Maya smiles mysteriously at Carina, and says, “One more quick stop before we head back.”
Carina is even more confused when five minutes later, Maya pulls into the drive-thru at Macdonald’s. Maya laughs at her when she asks, bemused, “Bambina? What are we doing?”
Maya doesn’t answer straight away, pulling up to the drive through intercom and ordering two large fries and two bottles of water. When she’s ordered and is pulling away to the collection and payment window she explains, “Last little superstition of the day.” She says. “It’s traditional to have McDonald's fries after your embryo transfer. Apparently everyone does it.”
Carina raises her eyebrows in amusement. “Everyone, huh?” She says with a laugh.
Maya looks at her and nods solemnly, “Everyone.” She confirms.
Carina grins, “Well then, I guess it’s a good job you thought to bring me here.” She says.
Once Maya pays and they receive the fries and drinks, Maya pulls up into a parking bay so they can eat. She holds up a fry to cheers Carina, who taps one of her own against it with a giggle at her wife’s antics.
“Hey, Bambina.” Carina gasps suddenly.
Maya looks at her curiously, and Carina takes her hand and puts it back on her stomach where it had been earlier.
“You know, until proven otherwise, I am technically pregnant.” Carina tells her with glee.
Maya stares at her for a moment, breathless with feeling, before she slowly reaches up and cups Carina’s face in her hands. She leans across the console and kisses her deeply, her tongue darting out against lips dusted with salt. They kiss languidly for a minute before breaking apart. She holds Carina’s face there a moment longer and makes sure she hears her when she says, “I love you Carina. So, so much.”
Fin.