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“I may never turn into that – kanima thing you know,” Jackson said and Derek forced himself awake.
“I know,” he said.
“I mean, if your Mom invited me into the Pack thinking that I would be an asset – if this whole kanima thing is meant to be some kind of hidden attraction that means I’m valuable – what if I never turn? I’m half human after all.” Wiping his hands over his face, Derek shifted up the bed until he was sat back against the headboard, noticing that Jackson had withdrawn until they weren’t touching.
“It doesn’t matter if you become a kanima, or decide to take the bite or even stay human – if you want to be in the pack, if you – “
“I just don’t want there to be any misunderstanding or – “
“You think I only want to be with you because of the kanima thing? That my instincts have chosen you based on that and I don’t have a real say in things?” He could tell by the way that Jackson hunched his shoulders that he had hit on the issue. He knew his behaviour over the last couple of months was at least partly responsible for Jackson’s insecurities – keeping away from him had been painful in the extreme, but at least he had had the truth to make him feel better. Jackson had simply been left out in the cold, completely unaware of the supernatural, of his paternal heritage, of just why Derek had withdrawn from him.
Foregoing subtlety altogether, he hauled Jackson into his arms, tugging at his chin to force him to make eye contact.
“I don’t give a shit if you ever turn into a kanima! This isn’t just a werewolf thing – this is an us thing! I love you – I know I’ve made you doubt that and I will spend the rest of my life making that up to you!” He saw the fleeting expression of relief that Jackson allowed himself. “There are other humans in the pack – you’ll meet them at the next meet. And my Mom would have invited you into the pack as soon as she understood how I feel about you. Things are all messed up – we’re still sorting out the mess after the fire and the Argents – Mom’s relationship with Chris! I mean, Stiles is still learning what he can do and his relationship with Uncle Peter! There is so much going on, but I never want you to worry that you don’t have a place here. As long as you want it, that is.”
“And the rest of what your Mom said – about me looking for a master?”
“That bothers you?”
“It doesn’t bother you?” Jackson asked.
“Do I find it sexy that you think I could be your master in any way, shape or form? Hell yeah. But we have our whole lives to figure this shit out.”
“Yeah?” Jackson leaned up until he could press their lips together, even the light touch igniting Derek’s desire.
“Yeah.”