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Reki should really go to sleep, It’s a school night. It’s almost 1 am. But Langa keeps sending him Tiktoks and he obviously has to reply.
For the millionth time he adjusts his pillow, the blanket that’s trapped between his legs and scrolls down. Another skate video auto plays. There’s a 50% chance it’s gonna be a really cool trick, something that will make Reki want to go out and try it for himself. But there’s also a 50% chance it’s gonna be a failed attempt at something and Reki is gonna send it to Langa with the caption “that’s you”.
It’s the latter.
Reki sucks air in through his teeth at the sight of the boy rolling around on the floor, obviously in pain. His thumb moves down again and this time it’s a group of huskies sounding like several car alarms going off at the same time. Reki has to turn down his volume for this one. Another scroll and he gets to see a boy, maybe about his age, explaining how he had a crush on his best friend for years. He never dared to ask them out, but now their last school dance is coming up and he finally wants to confess. The video cuts to a different perspective, someone trying to sneakily film the boy as he walks into a classroom. Romantic music is playing in the background, but you can still hear the Ohs and Ahs as he approaches a desk, another boy sitting there with wide eyes.
Another boy.
Reki can feel his heart starting to beat faster. The boy, who is about to confess, is shaking and Reki can feel his nervousness in every cell of his body. It’s a simple confession. An “I like you.” followed by the question: ”Do you want to go to the dance with me?”. Reki doesn’t remember sitting up, but his knees are pressing into his chest now and there’s a very familiar heat creeping up his neck.
And then there’s a cut.
Black screen.
“Follow for Part 2”
“Fucking Clickbait.” he groans. Quietly, of course.
He should just keep scrolling. He should just keep scrolling and not give a shit about part 2, because why would he care whether or not another couple made it to a school dance.
But he also has to know.
So he clicks on the profile and scrolls until he finds the video he just watched. Right next to it, he sees “Part 2” written in a colorful font.
The video starts like the one before, recapping the entire situation and then they’re back in the classroom. The pause between the question and the answer is killing Reki.
The boy says yes. He basically screams it, to be honest. And then he gets up and throws his arm around his friend and the entire crowd around them erupts into cheers.
When the video starts to play in a loop, Reki scrolls up and is greeted by the couple in their suits doing some generic dance, obviously dressed for their night out.
Reki finds himself going down a rabbit hole.
The algorithm, now obviously convinced that Reki wants to see more and more videos of confessions, shows him one happy couple after another. Every single confession he witnesses through his screen miraculously works out.
He hates it.
He hates it because- shit, does he want to be one of the people who just go up to their crush and confess.
It’s getting even later and now Reki is not just tired, and will be tired the entirety of the school day, he’s lonely. Sad. Whatever. There’s a pain in his chest and all it screams is want.
Want what they have.
Want what he hasn’t.
And he’s about to close the app, because really, he reached his limit for happy couples, but then there’s a stack of cards on his screen. They’re not regular game cards, he can tell that much, but Reki has seen them before. This particular set is beautiful with flower ornaments all over the back. The cards are picked up by two, perfectly manicured hands and shuffled around. Reki has no idea what’s happening, but the shuffling motion is so smooth, so satisfying to watch and Reki’s brain is tired. The username simply reads “sakurareadings”. No caption. No tags.
Out of nowhere the generic computer voice instructs everyone, that isn’t a Leo, to continue scrolling. And though Reki doesn’t know a whole lot about zodiac signs, he knows he’s a Leo.
There’s more shuffling before the computer lady begins to speak again.
“This is a personal tarot reading. While I count down, think of something you desperately want. Five…”
Reki tries to think of stuff like a new skateboard, or his favorite drink, or winning his next beef. But for some reason his mind keeps going back to these confession videos.
And to Langa.
“One.”
The shuffling comes to a halt and one of the hands picks out a card.
„The Fool.“
There‘s a man, or maybe a boy, happily walking towards a cliff drawn on the card. He‘s only carrying a small bag with him, on his face a smile. He looks happy. Reki doesn’t even notice the dog biting his leg at first.
„The fool,“ the computer lady explains, „means you should be willing to take risks to get what you want. It stands for taking a leap, taking the initiative in order to reach your goal.“
Yeah, that’s it. Reki throws his phone away and he can hear the soft sounds of it bouncing around on the mattress. He groans again, a little louder this time.
Taking a leap? He can’t take a leap. What type of unique bullshit is this?
With the palm of his hands he rubs his eyes, wanting to forget all the things he’s seen in the past hour.
It’s not like he hasn’t thought about confessing, okay? He has. In this exact position, at this exact time. When his eyes are already tired and closed, when his mind is slowly drifting away, he thinks about it.
He thinks about writing a letter, a note, signing with his name and a little drawing. He thinks about whispering it when Langa is already snoring beside him, or when they skate through the city, surrounded by people and yet exist in their own world.
Or to just scream it out. Maybe at S, after Langa won a beef.
But he won’t. Obviously. Because what all the confession videos didn’t show, were rejections. The risk that Reki is supposed to take, according to that card, is losing the only friend he had in a long time; his best friend. And he won’t risk that for anything in the world.
You would think that realizing you have more-than-friendly feelings towards the person you spend every waking hour with, is punishment enough. But no.
It’s been a week since that first sakurareadings video showed up on his For You Page and Reki would have loved to go back to his familiar mix of failed skate tricks and cute pets. But it’s 2 am, once again, and the lovely robot lady just told him that next month has a blossoming romance in store for him.
Fuck this.
His entire feed is just tarot cards and more of these shitty confessions and he can’t get rid of them.
Usually, after he and Langa spent all day at the skatepark, they would lay back, share a snack and watch stupid Tiktoks side by side. Occasionally they would turn their screen, a careful eye on the reaction of the other, and then rinse and repeat.
Now Reki can’t do that anymore.
(Not like it’s awkward. Reki likes being with Langa, it doesn't matter if they do something or just lay there.)
The real problem is that sakurareadings is watering that little seedling of hope in Reki’s chest. That the universe, after all the shit it gave him, finally sent him someone; a person just for him.
His mind and heart are working in unity to give him a hard time tonight, as he thinks back on just this morning. Another love letter on Langa’s desk. Another attempt by Langa to ‘subtly’ put it away before Reki could ask questions. But he knows. Of course he knows- He isn’t hard of hearing or blind or stupid.
He’s just out of his crush’ league.
And Langa is so considerate, it’s driving Reki crazy. He apologizes when people interrupt their conversation at lunch because they “want to talk to him privately”, shooting a nasty look at Reki. He blushes furiously when there’s a letter on his desk or his locker, and starts to ramble about anything while he puts them away. Reki has no idea where all the stuff ends up but he also has no desire to ask.
Except now he can’t stop thinking about it.
Fuck.
“That doesn’t look like math to me.”
Koyomi slaps the peach Reki is eating out of his hand, without looking up from her notebook. “Shut up!”
“What? I just wanted to know what you’re up to.” He picks up his fallen fruit and inspects it, removing a cat (?) hair, before biting into it again.
“Gross.” Koyomi grimaces at the display. “Go annoy someone else.”
“Nope.” And to emphasize that Reki’s more in the mood to annoy his sister, he pops the ‘p’. “Now, who’s Toma?”
If the bright red face is anything to go by he struck a nerve. But what really brings the point across is the sputtering and finally the punch that hits his right arm, sending his peach to the floor once again.
His sister is getting stronger.
“No one!”
“So No One is a gemini?”
“Shut up!”
“No, please-” He yells as Koyomi gets up from the chair and proceeds to hit him with her notebook. “Elaborate!”
But she really built some muscle because before Reki knows it, he’s alone in the hallway.
“Tch.”
He’s seen enough to tease her later on.
It’s not unusual to check the star sign compatibility of you and your best friend, while you’re hanging out in an abandoned mine waiting for another beef to start.
They’re very compatible by the way.
“What are you doing?” Langa’s breath is tickling his neck, sending shivers down his spine.
Reki scrambles, desperately trying to close the tab that explains that the sun guided Leo makes an excellent partner for Aquarians, but he just ends up dropping his phone on the dusty ground. “Shit!”
“Sorry.” says Langa, bending down to pick it up just as Reki crouches too.
“It’s cool. You just scared me, dude.” They’re both reaching for that damn phone at the same time and Reki wants to pass away. “ I thought you were still with Kaoru.”
“He is.”
Reki can’t help but squeal at the sight of the pink-haired man. Apparently he was a little too focused on the whole compatibility test after all, because he didn’t notice either of them approaching him.
“Since when are you into astronomy?” Langa apparently used Reki’s little freak out to grab his phone and of course the website is still open, because the universe hates Reki. And Langa hates him too or he wouldn’t use his height advantage to keep the phone out of its owner’s reach.
“Astronomy?” Kaoru’s eyebrows shoot up, hiding behind his bangs. Reki tries a new trick- jumping up at Langa’s outstretched arm.
“Yeah, with the lions and stuff.”
“Langa,” sighs Kaoru, “Do you mean astrology?”
Finally, Reki can get his fingers on the phone and he exits the browser, turns on flight mode and locks the screen for good measure.
Langa’s arm is still up in the air when he turns to Kaoru. “What’s the difference?”
“There’s a huge diff-”
But before Kaoru can go into detail Reki just blurts out. “I was just bored. Forget about it.”
Kaoru obviously doesn’t believe him.
“I claim this energy.” this “Manifesting” that. The comments under the new sakurareadings video are full of it and Reki may or may not type something along those lines. The little cursor blinks, waiting on him to click send, whatever, but he deletes the comment.
No way that would have worked anyway.
Langa’s eyebrows are furrowed, leaving a dent in between them Reki wants to touch so badly, his fingers twitch.
“What’s got you all riled up?” he asks instead, because he can’t just let it be.
“My mom doesn’t remember when I was born.”
Reki stops chewing his lunch. The breeze rattles the mesh fence around them, emphasizing the sudden silence.
“What?”
“I asked her-” Langa continues chomping down on his food. “Last night. And she doesn’t know.”
“Your mom doesn’t know your birthday?”
Considering what Reki knows about Nanako- and he knows a lot because she likes to talk, especially with Reki- that seems highly unlikely.
“No, she doesn’t know when I was born.”
“Oh, like the time?”
Langa hums, taking another bite. “She says, it wasn’t her priority to check the time.”
“Fair enough.”
But the wrinkle between Langa’s eyes is persistent.
“And that’s bad, because-”
“Because my birth chart won’t be complete until I know my time of birth.”
The carrot in Reki’s mouth becomes a deadly projectile as it enters his windpipe. He chokes. Langa nudges his water bottle closer to Reki, nodding at it.
Reki doesn’t die, luckily.
The water saves him and after a few moments he’s even ready to ask: “Why do you need to know your birth chart?”
Langa shrugs. It’s an incredibly bad attempt at looking nonchalant. “Just-” he scratches his nose. “Because.”
No. It’s not just because. Because Reki was there. Just a week ago he asked his mother the exact same question. And when she proudly announced the exact minute of his birth, he rushed back to his room, the birth chart calculator still open.
But Reki can’t tell him that. Or maybe he can-
What if Langa wants to know his birth chart-
What if he figures out what Reki had googled the other day?
Reki shakes his head, trying to get rid of that train of thought. He probably didn’t get that good of a look of what the website said; about what Reki originally had typed into the search bar.
“does my crush like me star sign test”
“Astrology, huh?” Reki’s view on the big screen is suddenly obstructed by pink hair. He knew this subject would come back to haunt him. But the fact that he actually left one of those embarrassing comments, on yet another tarot reading tiktok, lets heat crawl up his neck.
“Yeah-” He really is a terrible liar. Reki knows, Kaoru knows and so does Miya, because he’s wearing a shit-eating grin on his face, which Reki knows too well.
“Didn’t take you for that type of person.” The smaller boy nudges him in the ribs and Reki tries to retaliate with a jab. He’s already embarrassed enough.
“It’s just interesting, that’s all.”
“The stars sure are mysterious.” Kaoru says, avoiding Miya’s elbow, which was out to get Reki again. “And all-knowing.”
Miya squeaks when Reki manages to get him in a headlock. But even with that distraction, Reki catches the wink Kaoru shoots him and his face is probably as red as his hair and he wants to crawl under a rock and die.
Kaoru knows something.
Kaoru knows something he shouldn’t.
If his mom heard him screaming into his pillow, she doesn’t mention it.
Just like the week before, and the week before that, Reki is lying in bed and scrolling through his phone. It’s nearing 3 am. It’s a sunday.
He likes one video, the red heart pops up and he realizes-
His likes are public. Every video he likes is right there, under the neat little tab on his profile.
Fuck.
But that’s okay, right? The tarot reading ones are probably buried underneath an avalanche of talking dogs and skate tricks gone wrong. There’s no way anyone would look at them anyway.
Still, just to make sure, Reki turns it off.
“Who you should date based on your hair color-”
Reki takes another big sip from his soda. It’s hot, but not hot enough for them to not skate. The pavement underneath his hand is scorching, but that’s okay. His hands are so calloused anyway, he barely feels it.
Langa is practicing some more, while Reki decided to take a little break. Instinctively he reached for his phone, clicking on the little icon in the left corner of his screen.
sakurareadings new video is the first one to start playing and Reki quickly has to lower the volume. Langa doesn’t need to hear the nice robot lady list a bunch of hair colors.
“green-” Some cute love song fills the pause. “pink.”
Reki chuckles and catches some of his spilled soda with his lips, before it can stick to his fingers.
“red-”
The pause is longer this time, Reki is sure.
“blue.”
The soda basically shoots out of his nose and mouth. Here he goes. Choking. Again.
“Reki?”
Langa kneels beside him. He tries patting Reki’s back, but there’s so much force behind it, Reki coughs some more.
“Sorry, man.”
“That’s been happening a lot lately.”
“I guess so.” Reki finally can breathe again. Well, he can breathe for like one second, before his brain catches up with the lack of distance between his and Langa’s face.
He blushes. He blushes and he wants to hide his face, because it’s been getting worse and worse and if he doesn’t do something about this crush anytime soon, he will explode. Because he’s been dreaming about Langa lately, about holding his hand, about going on dates. Dates that would look like their usual day anyway- maybe a little different. Hopefully a little different.
Reki groans and falls on his back, the soda falling over beside him, leaving a sticky puddle behind.
“You okay?” Langa lets himself fall beside Reki.
“Yeah.” he lies.
Another week passes. Reki’s head is full and so is his heart. Full of mushy scenarios and heartbreaking rejections and he really can’t take it much longer and then it happens. It’s not even midnight yet. Reki can hear the cicadas outside his window. Technically it’s still too hot to air out his room, but he can’t be bothered to get up and close it again.
sakurareadings posts several videos a day now. It used to be one every other day, then every day, but now it feels like Reki is presented with perfectly manicured hands every hour.
And it feels like the messages are getting more passive aggressive now. There are a lot less emojis and a lot more exclamation marks.
“Go and confess already!!!” is the caption of the latest one.
“I can’t-” Reki answers. Maybe the little guy in his phone can pass on the message. “I really can’t.”
He sighs and wants to close the app, when a little red one pops up in the corner. Involuntarily the corners of his mouth quirk up, because no one besides Langa actually answers his messages here, so it has to be him.
Reki clicks on the icon and there’s no message-
It’s a notification.
“langa_hasegawa commented on the same video as you”
One of his thumbs is caught between his teeth, chewing on his nails has always been a nervous habit, while the other one clicks on the video.
There’s a voice, crackly and robotic and a set of perfectly manicured hands shuffling a tarot card set.
Everything stops for a second. Reki’s eyes go wide, so wide they threaten to plop out of his skull. Because there’s Langa’s name, right underneath a sakurareadings video, and it's followed by praying hands and red and blue heart.
It takes a lot for Reki to breathe, to swallow the lump in his throat as he goes over a list of his classmates-
Who, besides him, has red hair?
Or maybe it’s someone from another year?
Or someone from S?
It could be someone from S.
Reki likes to believe that he and Langa are close, so close that there’s no awkward silences between them. Ever.
But since there’s one now, he has to question that belief.
The thing is, he would understand if he is the one to create this tense atmosphere. Ever since last night there’s this pressing issue at the back of his mind. Who is that someone that Langa associates with the color red and apparently has a crush on? It’s right there; lingering and feasting on his worst fears. But that doesn’t explain why Langa is acting weird since he picked up Reki from his house.
On their way to the skate park, they usually chat and laugh, occasionally someone plays music or they just ride in silence. But today it’s just so-
Reki almost trips. His board abruptly stops when the wheels hit the patch of dry grass that surrounds the skate park.
“Shit.” he mutters. Reki’s waiting for a laugh, a chuckle, a snort; anything. But there’s nothing. There’s only more silence behind him.
“Reki?”
He turns around, because Langa sounds so serious.
This is it, isn’t it?
The part when Langa tells him about his crush, maybe his partner- maybe, whoever finally won Langa’s affection has already confessed, because unlike Reki, they’re not a coward.
“I like you!” Reki slaps his hands in front of his traitorous lips. Fuck. Shit. Why did he do that? “No, I don’t-”
“You don’t?” There’s no way Reki is going to look at Langa. He can’t bear to witness whatever expression that beautiful face presents.
But even without looking at him, Reki can tell that he sounds-
hurt?
“I mean-” Reki sighs. The least he can do in the face of defeat, is to be honest. “I do. I do like you, but-”
“I have really shitty timing and now there’s this other person you like, and you even commented on that damn video, and I should have listened to these tarot cards because they told me to confess weeks ago. Like every video of them was telling me to do it. And maybe, you know, when I had listened to them and-” He tries to take a deep breath, but it feels like his lungs are too big for his rib cage all of a sudden. “Maybe if I had had the guts to tell you earlier, this would be it, y’know?”
Reki is getting real sick of silence.
So he opens his eyes. Langa is in front of him, closer than before, and his face is so red. Why is his face so red? And why are his eyes so glassy?
“You saw those videos too?” Langa shakes his head, leaving that thought behind.
“You.” Reki watches Langa’s lips move, letting the word escape. “Like.” Oh no. “Me?”
It all feels like a fever dream.
Because, it’s your usual saturday. There’s nothing special about today. About the sun that is already beginning to set, or the birds that make way too much noise, building their nests. Nothing about this is special, except that Reki just confessed. Reki confessed and Langa hasn’t run away yet.
The best way to answer Langa’s question, Reki thinks, is to just violently shake his head yes. Maybe Langa can hear his little pea brain rattle around in there and take it easy on him.
“Reki.” God.
Reki is about to tell him to just do it, to just rip his heart out; he can deal with the pain later but his mouth finds itself unable to move. And at first Reki thinks it's because of nerves; because obviously you’d be nervous after a confession, but-
It’s because there’s another pair of lips on his.
Langa’s lips.
As in
Langa is kissing him.
As in
Langa is kissing him and he should probably kiss back.
“You’re terrible at this.” Langa’s out of breath, like he just finished a marathon and Reki feels the same.
“I wasn’t prepared.”
“Weren’t you planning on confessing to me weeks ago?” There’s a smile on Langa’s face that Reki wants to see every day for the rest of his life, and at the same time, never again. He’s holding onto Reki’s shoulders, faces only inches apart, and looking at him with that smug grin. It’s gonna drive Reki crazy one day, maybe it already has. “Because I was.”
“Well, I wasn’t exactly prepared for my confession to end with a kiss.” Nervously Reki scratches his nose.
Langa tilts his head, kind of like a puppy trying to make sense of a new word. “What were you expecting?”
And he sounds so incredulous; as if Reki expecting anything but a kiss, is a personal attack.
“Dude-” Maybe calling your crush ‘Dude’ after you confessed to him- after he kissed you- isn’t the best move. “That you’d reject me. Say ‘No, thanks.’ and leave or-”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because you’re-” Reki’s eyes flicker from one blue eye to the other, trying to find some kind of answer in them. “You’re you. You’re Langa.”
Langa who gets called ‘prince’. Langa who people want to be close with. Langa who has to pay double for recycling, because there are so many love notes on his desk, it’s ridiculous.
“And you’re Reki.” It’s not a question, the way he says it. And that’s what throws Reki off. That’s what makes him blush even harder, stammer something about that not being an answer-
“Do you believe in fate?”
“Huh?”
“Like-” Langa swallows. “Destiny. The stars.”
“If this is about what I said earlier, I-”
“Because I do.”
They’re still so close. It sends Reki’s world spinning.
“I do. So, when these videos started showing up-” Reki watches a strand of hair falling into Langa’s face as he nods, reassuring himself that what he says is right. “They were a sign.”
And Reki wants to disagree. These videos were only shown to them because of an algorithm. Because some really smart person programmed it that way, but-
Maybe they were signs, in their own way.
Because
There probably would have been no other way for Reki to end up kissing Langa again, without them.
There would have been no other way for Langa’s warm, sweaty hands to move their way up- from Reki’s shoulders to caressing his jaw- without these damn videos.
“So-” Reki starts, because there’s still something he has to know. “You like me?”
Langa’s laugh is one of Reki’s favorites for many reasons. He loves to see the early stages: his face relaxing, his eyes going wide and all sparkly, only to close and scrunch together in delight. And then his nose that lifts up into the air a little, head thrown back, and sometimes a snort escapes if something is particularly funny. And he loves the way his mouth goes incredibly wide and the laughter just spills out.
And even when Langa is laughing at him now, Reki is mesmerized. He’s never been so close, never felt the rumble that goes through Langa’s entire body- Langa’s body that’s now almost draped over Reki’s.
“Duh.” There’s a small tear in the corner of Langa’s left eye and the occasional giggle, leftovers from his laughing fit, when he leans back a little. But his face transforms, his eyes go a little sadder and bigger, his lips form a small ‘o’.
Because what he sees is that Reki, well, is still waiting for an answer. Anticipating.
“Reki,” And he gets that look of his. The one that he puts on, when you shouldn’t mess with him. But it’s softer, kinder, today. “I kissed you. I’ve been rejecting everyone, telling them there’s someone else. I- I told you we’d skate infinitely together.”
Langa’s hands start to squish Reki’s cheeks, forcing him to look into his eyes as Reki tries to hide his face again. “Does that not scream ‘I like you’ to you?”
“I didn’t-” Reki’s words are almost unintelligible, with his cheeks squished and all.
“Reki.” Langa leans in again. “Reki, I like you. I really like you.” And he kisses Reki again. The kiss is a little off, but that’s okay. “Take a hint.”
“Took you long enough.” Miya pushes the fries Langa ordered towards the other boy. “That was painful to watch.”
Today was the first time Reki and Langa showed up at S- as a couple. They entered the place, their hands clasped together, and Kojiro just started laughing. Apparently it had been very obvious for a long time; obvious to anyone but Reki.
So, to celebrate, they’re out eating. It’s late and Reki is tired, but he’s so happy. His face hurts from the constant pull of his smile and his heart has been beating irregularly for the past week. Having Langa as your boyfriend will do that for you, apparently.
He’s happy and tired, stealing fries from his boyfriend, when there’s a perfectly manicured hand reaching out to do the same.
Reki starts coughing and Langa only rolls his eyes before knocking on his back. And it helps with the almost choking, but does very little to ease Reki’s mind.
“You’re-” His voice is still scratchy and Langa just puts the straw of his soda in Reki’s mouth, urging him to drink. “You’re sakurareadings?”
Kaoru starts to turn a little pink. It’s barely there, but Reki can still see it.
“Dude, he’s been so not subtle about it.” Miya yawns. “You’re really dense.”
“Yeah, he’s been talking about tarot cards for the past few weeks, it’s a pretty well known fact.” Hiromi chimes in, opening up another burger.
Reki is offended at this point. He’s not that dumb. “Is there anything else I should know?”
“Well,” Kojiro says, his arm thrown over Kaoru’s shoulder. “You can figure the rest out for yourself.”
“I can help you, Reki.”
“Don’t act like you’re smarter than me, Langa”
Laughter fills the booth and Reki is tired, so tired, but happy.