Chapter Text
Charlie Dalton and Neil Perry had been best friends for what felt like forever, having met at the age of 5 and immediately falling into an easy friendship after an incident involving pebbles, duct tape, a toaster and two very angry fathers. Throughout the years they'd been there for each other through thick and thin, had fought and made up, had shared their first kisses and first drinks, and spent so much time together that they practically shared a brain cell.
Charlie knew Neil better than Neil knew himself, and vice versa. Charlie knew what every inflection of Neil's voice meant, how his emotion was betrayed by his clenched jaw, how he drank after every disagreement with his dad, and how his nose turned red when he wanted to cry. The boys often joked that they were more or less married, which was met by simple shrugs and grins or over the top winks and loud declarations of undying love.
So it was no surprise when Charlie was the first one to notice Neil's eyes lingered on Todd, the shy new kid a tad too long, when he found excuses to touch Todd even in passing, how attentive he was every time Todd spoke, which wasn't very often, and how he always seemed drawn to Todd, like a bookworm to a library, even just a week after they first met.
Uncharacteristically, Charlie didn't immediately speak to Neil about it, and instead chose to observe both him and the object of his affections. He watched as Todd was oblivious to Neil's pining at first, and sneakily stole glances at Neil when he thought no one was watching (or so he thought), missing Neil's stare by just a few seconds, like an overly cliche romance novel. He saw how Todd's gazes soon turned from those of admiration to adoration with an underlying hint of desperate longing, and how he steadily grew more comfortable in Neil's company to the point where he looked lonely without it, how he sat a little straighter and spoke a little louder after a reassuring smile from Neil, and how his eyes lit up whenever Neil walked into the room. Charlie observed as Neil tried to get Todd involved in stuff like study group and the Dead Poets Society, but didn't push him out of his comfort zone by making him read. He saw how Todd was diffident at first, but gradually opened up to Neil.
Then one day, Neil burst into Charlie's room talking his head off about a play in Henley Hall and how he's going to audition, but his smile was a tad less bright and he seemed to have something on his mind. "What's the matter?" Charlie asked, needing no subtlety after so many years of friendship. Neil looked at him apprehensively. "I- I think I like Todd as more than a friend." Neil had come out as gay to Charlie when they were 14, to which Charlie had responded with a loud 'Welcome to the club!' and a hug along with an invitation to make out, wiggling eyebrows and all, so Neil was not nervous about Todd being a guy, but he was nervous because they were steadily becoming best friends (he had to reassure Charlie that the latter's the only bestest best friend he'll ever have), and they were roommates and what if Todd wasn't even into guys? Charlie stopped his line of thought, saying "You cannot possibly be that oblivious, Toddy boy is as obsessed with you as you are with him." Neil looked too thunderstruck to reprimand Charlie for calling him Toddy boy, and looked in equal parts disbelieving and ecstatic at the idea that his feelings could be reciprocated.
That day in study group Charlie watched as Todd unexpectedly spoke up about an English assignment looking surprised at himself, as though he hadn't meant to and it slipped out, and how he looked uncomfortable when he noticed the attention on him, immediately turning to Neil who offered soft smiles and encouraging eyes along with the unspoken message that said "I'm proud of you, you don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable doing", and Todd straightened up and spoke clearly about the long Shakespeare sonnet and what it meant, occasionally stumbling over himself but holding his ground as Neil gazed at Todd, just staring at him talk with a slight smile playing on his mouth, obviously not registering a word.
And that's when Charlie knew, that this wasn't just a simple crush for the both of them - they were besotted with each other. In love. He knew then that once they get their shit together they would be unstoppable; that kind of love you read about in books, the kind of love that yearning poems were written about, the kind of love that was visible not through words but by adoring gazes and blushing smiles, the kind of love that was prevalent even during the worst of fights, the kind of love that was immortal and unconditionally pure. Half marvelling at this fact, Charlie smiled to himself as Todd finished his lecture and saw Neil staring at him, immediately flushing and grinning involuntarily as Neil's dimples grew, and hoped they'd never change.
Over the days Charlie watched as Neil became slightly more forthcoming with his obvious affection, and seemed to be touching Todd in some way all the time. The blond didn't look like he liked physical affection, but unsurprisingly leant into Neil's playful touches without a second thought. Charlie groaned as they chose not to acknowledge their obvious feelings and instead tormented both themselves and him by keeping mum and not having a proper conversation. Charlie didn't realise how Todd could possibly be blind to the way Neil looked at him, because the latter could not be more obvious. Or maybe Charlie just thought that because he was subjected to an hour of "Charlie have you seen his eyes they're so blue how are they so blue; I would gladly and willingly let him drown me" and "And oh my god his voice I could hear him forever and never get tired" and "His laugh holy shit I swear it does things to me" and "Charlie he smiled at me I'm gonna die" every single day.
Then the day of Keating's poem assignment came, and Charlie knew that Neil had written a poem about Todd and he hoped that the latter could take his head out of his ass and get with Neil to end his own suffering. Unsurprisingly, Keating singled Todd out and made him make up a poem in front of the class. Charlie had barely wrapped his head around the poem and how incredible it was when he saw Neil staring at Todd. Even though he was unable to catch his expression as he was sitting behind the brunette, he knew that Neil was amazed at the poem (courtesy of their shared brain cell), having always been one for metaphoric poetry, and he hoped that Todd would get a look at his friend's expression and realise it's not platonic.
Charlie cornered the rest of the boys and told them that he would disembowel them with a wrench if they dared to go into Todd and Neil's room or disturb them in any way after classes ended.
The next day he observed both of them carefully and was elated to see them look at each other with smiles that spoke of a hidden something several times, and noted how they didn't bother masking their staring when caught by the other and reached the conclusion that they'd finally sorted their shit. He watched Neil in class, scribbling something in his notepad or staring at the back of Todd's head, the latter turning his head subtly and smiling at him every now and then. He was almost embarrassed at how obvious Todd was during shower time, when he saw Neil walk by him in just a towel wrapped around his waist and paused his conversation with Meeks, opting to stare after Neil instead while the brunette smirked. He watched them in study group, sitting so close to each other that they were joined from shoulder to hip, even though there was plenty of space for them to sit comfortably. He grinned as Neil often lost his thought process while speaking and flushed while Todd bent over his work and smirked almost imperceptibly, obviously playing footsie with Neil under the table. He watched Todd stare at Neil in his glasses, obviously unable to concentrate on his work while Neil coloured under his gaze. And when he saw them looking at each other with twinkling eyes and subtle imprints of smiles on their faces, Charlie smiled to himself and turned away, feeling as though he was intruding on something private. All was well.
Charlie didn't ask Neil about it, knowing that the latter was dying to tell his best friend about him and Todd but wanted Todd to be comfortable telling Charlie first. He didn't mind. He was glad his friend was happily in love, and didn't resent him for that.
Over the next few days Charlie was pleased to see them continue as always, albeit with much more lovesick grins. He started turning a blind eye to give them their privacy, and smiled to himself every now and then when he inadvertently saw Neil's infatuated expression as he studied his boyfriend, dark eyes burning brighter than the sun with an indescribable flurry of emotions in their depth, his mouth slightly open and face tinged with disbelief, as though he couldn't believe his luck, and said boyfriend reciprocating with soft blue eyes and a smitten smile of his own, or occasionally an elbow and an embarrassed but pleased whisper that said that Neil was being too obvious.
The day of the play was nearing, and Neil was breaking down with nerves in his own Neil way, that is to say he faced it with an onslaught of energy, much to the distress of others because a normal Neil was overly animated as it is and they were not prepared for him bursting with nervous energy. Charlie saw how Todd unobtrusively grabbed Neil's hand when the latter was working himself into a panicked frenzy, threaded their fingers and squeezed his hand, offering a gentle smile and encouraging words and how it instantly calmed Neil, who took a deep breath and righted himself with a grin. Charlie was once again struck by the naturalness and honesty of their love, and for the first time felt slightly envious of it, but he knew he'll find his person when the time comes.
Charlie lent Todd his hair gel on the day of the play, treating him to teasing smirks and exaggerated eyebrow wiggles, asking if he had a hot date, which caused the blond to flush and shove him, looking relieved, at which Charlie was slightly offended; did Todd really think he didn't approve of them? He squeezed his shoulder, smiling assuredly and letting Todd know he didn't mind their relationship without saying anything out loud so as not to embarrass him. He received a shy grin in response, and went along his way.
He sat and reflected on them the next day, as he mourned his best friend and the image of Todd's dull and lifeless eyes flashed in his haunted mind, and thought that burning brighter than the sun meant blazing to nothingness eventually.