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Beeping. That’s the first thing TK’s aware of. He wants to groan and roll his eyes at the familiar, irritating sound. He was just in the hospital three weeks ago. Granted, it was just to make sure there were no lasting injuries from his head wound and he was released within twenty-four hours, but he’s still getting tired of the uncomfortable beds and scratchy sheets. He squeezes his eyes before letting them flutter open, adjusting to the light. The first thing his eyes focus on is Carlos sitting next to his bed. His left leg is propped up on the frame of it and his eyes are closed, obviously fast asleep. TK reaches his hand out but finds Carlos just out of reach.
“TK?” He turns and sees Nancy in the doorway. She looks surprised while he smiles.
“Hey, Nance.” She sets the two cups of coffee down on the bedside table and leans towards him.
“How are you feeling? How long have you been awake?”
“Um, good and barely a minute.” She nods, shock still not quite worn off. It’s starting to make TK a little nervous.
“Nancy?” Carlos’ voice comes from the other side of the bed. His eyes meet TK’s and a flash of relief followed by a mask of indifference covers his face.
“TK.” He breathes. “You’re awake.”
“I’m going to get a nurse.” TK nods and the pair watch Nancy leave the room quickly. TK and Carlos stare at each other for a few moments. There’s an almost awkward silence draping the room. Before TK can open his mouth to break it and ask Carlos what’s wrong, Nancy returns, nurse in tow.
She looks over TK, ordering a few scans to make sure there will be no lasting damage, and leaves the tense room in five minutes.
“I’m sorry.” TK says finally. Carlos and Nancy both look at him with matching confused faces. “I don’t remember what happened, but I’m sorry I worried you. Both of you.” He glances at Nancy.
“ That’s what you’re sorry for?” Carlos asks incredulously. “Worrying us?” TK looks taken aback.
“I mean, yeah. What else should I be sorry for? I know I was just in the hospital and the bills can stack up but-”
“Wait,” Nancy cuts him off, “what do you mean you were just in the hospital?” TK looks at her like she’s grown two heads.
“You know, the time we were taken by those bank robbers and I was pistol-whipped trying to get us out?” Nancy and Carlos share a confused and concerned look.
“How long ago was that, TK?” Nancy asks carefully, like she’s trying not to scare him. Too late.
“Like…three weeks ago. How can you not remember that? It was pretty traumatizing for all of us.” Carlos and Nancy glance at each other again.
“I’ll be right back.” Nancy says slowly. TK watches her leave the room again, with a perplexed look on his face. Once she’s gone, he turns back to Carlos.
“I’m really sorry babe.” TK watches Carlos swallow thickly as his jaw ticks, a motion he’s learned to associate with the man physically refraining from saying something. “Carlos? What’s wrong?” Carlos clenches his jaw again and shakes his head.
“Nothing T. Everything’s okay.” TK opens his mouth to call the man out on his obvious lie just when a doctor and nurse return to the room, looking slightly panicked. They ask Carlos and Nancy to leave the room while they ask TK a few questions. The request makes his stomach churn a bit.
“Mr. Strand,” the doctor starts, “can you tell me what day it is?” TK’s stomach churns more and he swallows.
“March 30th, 2021.” He notices the nurse glance at the doctor, but the doctor keeps looking at TK.
“What do you remember about the accident that led to you coming here?” His tone is professional but TK feels like he’s missing a piece of very important information.
“I don’t. I don’t know what happened. One minute I was going to bed with my boyfriend and the next I’m waking up in the hospital.” The doctor scribbles a note down on a clipboard.
“Did anything significant happen when you went to bed? Anything out of the ordinary?” TK shakes his head, furrowing his eyebrows and looking down at the sheets. A thought pops into his head and he looks up at the doctor.
“We said I love you for the first time. Is that significant?”
“I don’t know, is it?” TK hesitates before a small smile tugs at his lips and he nods.
“Yeah, it is.”
Carlos braces his elbows on his knees and drops his head to his hands. Nancy’s hand rubs small circles on his back.
“He doesn’t remember.” He mutters. He sits up but keeps his gaze at the wall on the other side of the room.
“You're going to have to tell him, Carlos.” Nancy says gently.
“Why?” His voice wavers and he looks at her with wet eyes. “Why do I have to tell him?” She opens her mouth. “No, really,” he sniffs, “I’m getting a second chance. We’re getting a second chance.” His lip trembles as a tear rolls down his cheek. “Why can’t I have that?” He whispers. Nancy looks at him sympathetically.
“‘Cause, what if he wakes up one morning and remembers everything?” Carlos sniffs again, letting out a shaky breath, and looks back at the wall.
“It’s not fair.” His voice is quiet, almost silent. Nancy leans over and wraps an arm around his shoulders, pulling him towards her.
“I know.” She whispers. “I know.” He turns his face into her shirt. Nancy runs her fingers through his hair as he sobs quietly into her shoulder.
“Hey.” Carlos’ voice is a bit rough. TK looks at him with teary red eyes.
“I don’t remember… anything .” TK whispers. Carlos returns to the chair next to TK’s bed. The younger man reaches his hand out and takes Carlos’.
“TK.” Carlos sounds quiet and broken. It makes TK look at him with wide concerned eyes. Carlos gently slips his hand from the other man’s, putting a heartbroken look on his face.
“No.” He breathes. Tears spring to TK’s eyes.
“I’m so sorry.” TK lets out a shuddering breath.
“Why?” He asks softly. “Why did we-” A sob cuts him off.
“We went through a lot.” Carlos starts. “We were under pressure, and stressed, and unhappy. Then we started spending less and less time together.” He swallows thickly, a tear running down his cheek. He wipes it away quickly. “And the time we did spend together, we fought or were irritated and it was hurting both of us.”
“Who…?” TK trails off.
“You did.” Carlos whispers. “You told me it felt too much like the end with Alex.” TK’s breath hitches. “I wanted to try. I thought-I thought we could make it work. But…you told me you didn’t want to resent me.” TK nods, looking a little dazed.
“Do you…Have you moved on?” Carlos shakes his head despite TK not looking at him.
“No.”
“Have I?”
“I don’t know.” TK looks at him then with a furrowed brow. “We haven’t talked since…” TK sniffs and nods hastily.
“Do you still…” He starts again. “Do you still love me?” He says it quietly, like he’s afraid of the answer.
“I never stopped.” TK nods again.
“I’m sorry.” Carlos shakes his head and opens his mouth.
“TK!” Their heads snap to the door. Owen looks at his son in awe, the team standing behind him. They all rush to the bed. As they ask his questions and make sure he’s okay, Carlos slips out. He catches TK’s eye just before the wall blocks them.
Carlos looks at the door when a soft knock comes from the other side. He puts his bowl on the coffee table and gets up. His socked feet shuffle a bit on the floor as he crosses the room. Not bothering with the peephole, Carlos unlocks the bolt and opens the door. His eyes widen comically when they meet his visitor's.
“TK.” He’s sure he sounds as surprised as he looks. Aside from a few calls, he hasn’t seen the man since he woke up from his coma a month and a half ago. TK picks at his nail.
“Can I come in?” Carlos nods and opens the door a little more. TK steps in and turns, watching Carlos shut and lock the door again. Their positions mirror the moment Carlos thought they were done for good after he had introduced TK as his friend to his parents. “I remember.” TK’s voice pulls Carlos from his head.
“You…” He trails off.
“I remember. Everything.” Carlos forces a smile on his face.
“That’s…That’s amazing TK. I’m really glad.” TK takes a step closer.
“I’m so sorry.” Carlos inhales roughly.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“I do.” He sniffs. “I felt…It felt like the end with Alex. And that scared me. I didn’t want to lose you, but I felt like I had to. I ran when I shouldn’t have and I lost you anyway.” His voice shakes. “I should’ve just told you.” A tear rolls down his cheek and he doesn’t bother to wipe it away.
“It’s okay Ty. I understand why you did it. I don’t blame you. I’m not mad at you.”
"But I'm mad at myself." Carlos' mouth snaps shut. "I pushed you away, I hurt you, I did to you what Alex did to me and I-" He lets out a sob. "I hate it." More tears spill down TK’s face as more sobs rip through him. Carlos closes the distance between them and pulls TK into his arms. TK fights it for a moment.
“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay.” Carlos soothes softly. “Just let me be here. I’ve got you.” TK stops his half-hearted pushes and sinks into the embrace. Carlos runs his fingers through the man’s hair and shushes him gently as the sobs wrack his body. “TK, you’ve gotta calm down. You’re going to make yourself sick.” TK knows he’s right, his stomach is clenching and releasing during each sob. He recognizes the familiar feeling from every time he was sick as a kid. “Come here.” Carlos leads them to his couch and helps TK sit down. Their arms are still wrapped around each other.
“I-I’m so s-sorry.”
“Sh sh sh, it’s okay. I’m not mad. I promise.”
It takes TK a few minutes to calm down. Once his tears have lessened and his ragged sobs have stopped, for the most part, he pulls away. His eyes are bloodshot and wet and there’s barely an inch of his face that’s dry.
“I’m sorry.” TK wipes his face with his sleeve. “I just showed up out of nowhere and cried all over your new place. I’m probably the last person you want to see. I’m sorry.”
“Hey.” Carlos wipes a tear off TK’s face. “That’s not true.” TK sniffs. “Whether we’re together or not, you’re always welcome here, okay?” Carlos looks TK in the eyes. “Okay?” TK nods and lets Carlos pull him back into a hug.
“I love you.” His voice is muffled by Carlos’ shoulder but he hears him all the same.
“I love you too. Always, okay? I’ll always love you.” TK nods again and feels a bit of tension seep out of his chest when Carlos kisses his head. TK pulls back a bit to look at Carlos.
“If you’ll have me again, I’d love to come home.” Carlos smiles and kisses TK’s lips gently.
“We still have to talk.” TK nods. “We need to work through everything.” He nods again, wiping his eyes with a sniff.
“Yeah, of course.” Carlos can hear the slight disappointment in TK’s voice.
“But,” TK looks up with hopeful eyes, “I want you to come home too.” A watery smile takes over TK’s features. “I’m willing to work on us if you are.” TK nods quickly again.
“Yeah.” He exhales. “Yeah, that sounds good.” Carlos pulls him close again and presses his lips to TK’s hair once more.
“Welcome home baby.”