Chapter Text
Harley was nonbinary, of that they were certain.
They had been confident in their new identity for the past three months, and it was now high time that they came out to their parents. Their loving, accepting, gay-as-hell parents. It should have been the easiest thing in the world to come out to Tony and the Doc. Harley had done it once before after figuring out that they were ace, albeit with the Doc’s help. So why were they so scared? Why had they been hiding out in their room all morning, staring up at the ceiling while Cheese offered what comfort she could, until they inevitably talked themself out of it (again) or finally gathered up the courage to come out to their dads?
It was all so new. And the unknown was terrifying.
Harley had been...perplexed, to say the least, when they’d first heard Tony address the Doc with gender neutral pronouns about six months ago. But, once past the initial confusion, Harley’s curiosity was piqued, hanging on to every tidbit of information the Doc would dish out as their interest sparked one of their many conversations with the sorcerer about sexuality and gender. Harley had a lot of catching up to do after a lifetime of backcountry-marinated oppression, researching about both their newfound identities while referring to said sorcerer as a wealth of knowledge.
Admittedly, most of Harley’s discomfort with their sexuality had come from pure ignorance. Rosehill, Tennessee was about as secluded and conservative as a small town could get. In another life, Harley might have been the type of person to bully Peter within an inch of his life for being transgender and bisexual, and their stomach twisted with protective rage at the thought of anyone treating his brother with prejudice, including themself. Harley didn’t like to think about how they would have turned out if they’d never met Tony, and the Doc in extension.
Thank goodness for the Doc and his willingness to explain things about gender and sexuality in a way that made sense to Harley’s brain. Facts, percentages, probability, it all made sense. Harley didn't do well with emotions, and tended to shut down if they got overwhelmed. Luckily, they had always felt most comfortable talking with the sorcerer about such things, despite knowing Tony longer. It didn’t feel right when Tony had known them when they were still drowning in internalized homophobia, ignorant, bitter, and confused. The Doc had even helped Harley figure out that they were asexual almost by accident, putting words to the empty, alien feeling they’d experienced when all of their peers had started dating. Figuring out that they were asexual had been a weight off of Harley’s chest, like they no longer had to feel obligated to date when that was the last thing on their mind. They didn’t feel broken anymore. And now that Harley understood what gender neutral pronouns were, after the Doc had explained their own preference for them, it was like a grey haze had been lifted. They understood who they were now, and it felt incredible. It felt comfortable. It felt right. It also meant that a sharp pang of jealousy struck their chest every time the Doc was addressed with gender neutral pronouns, like they were a title of great valour or royalty. A similar pang had begun to strike their chest every time they were addressed with masculine pronouns, like a knife to the heart. Harley had almost hoped that their gender crisis would go away if they ignored it hard enough, for convenience if nothing else, but they became more sure of their new identity with each passing day. He had to come out.
They.
They had to come out.
Harley huffed, staring at the ceiling in ironic bewilderment. Out of all the unknown aspects of identifying as nonbinary, they hadn’t expected to accidentally misgender themself so often. After twenty three years of thinking of themself as male, it was surprisingly hard to break old habits, even when it made their skin crawl to use any masculine form of address. It was comical and frustrating all at once.
But they knew it would be worth it to finally come out, considering that it was borderline euphoric to be addressed by their proper pronouns, the warm affirmation blossoming in their chest whenever Raj would use they/them. Harley had already come out to Raj a few months ago, and their boyfriend was the only person in the world to know, though Harley desperately wanted for it not to be a secret anymore. Ready to take the next step in other ways as well, Raj had been practically begging to be introduced to Harley’s parents after four months of dating, but Harley wasn’t ready for the two halves of their world to collide. Introducing Raj to Tony and the Doc meant admitting to themselves that they actually cared for Raj, and they weren’t mentally prepared for that insinuation. There was too much that could go wrong. But there was also everything that could go right, and that made the ache in their chest that came from the disappointment in Raj’s eyes even more painful.
Regardless, Raj was endlessly supportive, and had been encouraging Harley to open up to their parents as well over the past few months. He had pointed out that Tony was a raging bisexual and Stephen was some form of unlabelled nonbinary pansexual aka ‘attracted-to-auras-instead-of-gender’. So what was the worst that could happen?
Harley couldn’t give a concrete answer to that question, but something in their gut warned them against exposing something so vulnerable, even to the two most trusted people in their life. After a lifetime of abandonment, abuse, and neglect, Harley’s instincts screamed at them to keep this part of themself bottled up inside as they had their entire life. Despite the ghosts of their trauma holding them back, Harley had been aching to come out to the Doc especially, to talk as they always did, and to work through the uncertainty swarming through their mind. But that ever-present fear dragged them down like a demon hiding under the bed. The fear of the unknown. Fear of rejection. Fear that Tony and the Doc would ask them to justify or explain their new-found identity when they weren’t quite sure what it meant themself.
Harley couldn’t explain it. It just felt right.
It had almost been easier coming out to Raj. If he hadn’t supported them, Harley wouldn’t have had any problem dumping him, convincing themself that they’d never cared about him in the first place, and moving on. It wasn't quite so easy to cut your parents out of your life if things went sour. But that was what Harley did. They cut themself off from people to avoid getting hurt. To protect themself. And it had worked out pretty well so far, though the loneliness was almost unbearable sometimes.
Harley knew they wouldn’t be able to handle any form of rejection from Tony or the Doc. So they had avoided the subject entirely, hoping to save themselves from the pain of being ostracized. They finally had a stable family, and they would never be able to forgive themself for ruining that. Harley had been formally adopted by both Tony and the Doc for nearly six months now, half a year after their wedding, but a part of them still feared being abandoned. Tony had long since proven that he couldn’t be scared off by the twenty-three-year old’s aloof attitude, but Harley had convinced themself that it would only be a matter of time before the sorcerer got sick of them. Regardless, Stephen had proven himself to be a safe person. Trustworthy, loving, and supportive. He could keep Harley on their toes, match them quip for quip, and keep them in check when their temper got the better of them, but he was always that safe harbour at the end of the day, ready to wrap Harley’s damaged inner child up in his loving embrace.
The Doc was endlessly patient, and willing to open his heart to the kid who’s own heart cried out for a second parental figure, but Harley was sure that that patience would run out sooner than later. Unfortunately, a lifetime of trust and abandonment issues didn’t go away overnight. Or even over the course of two years.
But Harley was done with being scared. They just wanted to be themself. The Doc had proven beyond a doubt that he wasn’t going to abandon their family, and it was the thought of the sorcerer’s everlasting steadfastness and calm grey eyes that ignited the motivation in the twenty-three-year-old’s chest. Doubt began to seep in just as quickly, and Harley sought out emotional support from the old orange cat laying on their chest. They stared back into Cheese’s pale green eyes, requesting her council.
“What do you think? Should I tell them?”
Cheese meowed once, a rolling chirp more than anything. An unmistakable yes.
“Fuck. Guess I have to now.” Harley smirked to themself crookedly, petting her head with uncharacteristic gentleness. Cheese let out another short merp of agreement as she was carefully bundled into Harley’s arms, safely tucked against their chest while they traipsed down the stairs. Harley’s heart was beating so fast it felt like a tiny hammer on the inside of their ribcage, uncomfortably fast, like it was trying to jump out of their throat. They stopped at the bottom of the stairs, closing their eyes as they buried their nose against Cheese’s fur, and inhaled her sweet, clean cat scent. It was soothing, enough to get their heartbeat under control. Harley deposited the cat on her favourite ottoman by the fireplace with a kiss on her forehead, almost embarrassed by the show of tenderness though there was no one else in the cabin to witness it. Cheese was getting older and wouldn’t appreciate being brought out to the cold garage.
Harley tugged on the old plaid work coat that was used communally to make the snowy trek from the cabin to the salvation of the heated garage. The fact that it was still on its hook by the front door meant that Tony probably hadn’t bothered with a coat at all, and the Doc had relied on their cloak for warmth, as per usual.
The coat hadn’t been necessary. Harley didn’t even feel the cold on their way to the garage, their senses numbed by the anxiety rocketing through their body. They didn’t register the falling snow dampening their hair with thick flakes, or the way the wind tore over the lake and piled snow around the cabin in drifts. All they could feel was the pounding of their heart beating like a miniature drum under their sternum.
Harley closed the man door behind themself, and the familiar atmosphere of the garage was almost instantly soothing, a good replacement for cat fur against their face. The workshop smelled of soldered iron, engine oil, and the leather of old cars, along with the bitter scent of coffee brewing away on the back counter, as familiar as the sight of the engineer leaning over the workbench. A Guns N’ Roses song was playing faintly in the background, the common middle ground after what was no doubt many long minutes of the two men bickering over their differing tastes in music. Said men were stationed at the main work bench, Tony standing so he could pace and dance as he worked, while the Doc opted for perching cross-legged on a metal stool that was tall enough for Levi to cling to his shoulders without dragging on the ground. As usual, the sorcerer was armed with a mug of tea, held in both of their shaking hands to ward off the winter cold, and the faint aroma of chai was lost to the overbearing, rich scents that inhabited the workshop.
“There he is!”, Tony greeted warmly, his good eye twinkling in that way that made Harley feel special. “Finally! I was expecting you to come out sooner, kid.” Harley panicked for a split second, eyes wide. What? How did he know? They hadn’t been that obvious-. Wait. No. Tony just meant he had expected them to join him in the workshop earlier, like they always did together on Sundays. But, no, here they were being an asshole and avoiding their parents all day. Feeling frazzled, Harley could feel themselves backing out, making up excuses for why they had been hiding away. Chickening out. Again.
“Oh, yeah. Sorry. I was just kinda tired. Didn’t sleep well last night.” Harley pulled the plaid jacket tighter around their own shoulders, suddenly cold. It wasn’t a total lie.
“Nightmares?”, the Doc asked sagely, their grey eyes looking right through Harley. Like he could see right through their porcelain ribcage and find the secrets buried beneath his kid’s heart. Harley suddenly felt brittle, yet safe, like a crystal vase cradled in careful hands. They shook their head ‘no’ distractedly, too focused on whether or not Tony believed the white lie.
“No need to apologize, kid.” The engineer took the bait, hook, line, and sinker, and Harley almost felt guilty. They couldn’t focus on their guilt for long, though, as Tony was a constant buzz of motion, gesturing for them to join him at the bench. “I’m glad you’re out here now. Come take a look at this gauntlet I’m working on.” Tony tapped the hunk of red metal with the handle of his screwdriver. “I’m adding back-up nanobots to the gauntlet watch, doubling the firing power, and linking the actuator up to neural links.” He jutted his chin in the sorcerer’s direction, grinning saucily. “Dumbledore said he was gonna help me with that part, but he’s nodded off a few times so I think he’s getting sick of the sound of my voice.”
“Please. By all means entertain him for a while. He’s talked both of my ears off by now and I haven't understood half of what he’s said”, the Doc pleaded with Harley, sending his husband a wry wink. “I’d be grateful if you took over.” Harley fumbled again, their heart thundering in their chest as they nodded numbly. The lyrics of another Guns N’ Roses song playing in the background was drowning out the carefully-practiced words they had stored away in their mind, lost to the surrounding airwaves beneath a lively guitar riff.
“A-Actually…there was something I wanted to tell you guys.” Harley’s nervous fingers travelled from pulling at their hangnails to fiddling with the buttons of the plaid work coat. “I’ve been meaning to tell ya’ll for a while, actually…I just didn’t know how to.”
“What’s up, possum?”, Tony prompted casually with a wave of his screwdriver. He seemed to become aware of the kid’s nerves as Harley could feel themself start to dissociate, eyes losing focus of their own accord. Tony took a step forward and rested a cybernetic hand on Harley’s shoulder, his voice softening. “Hey, c’mon, kid, it’s alright. It’s us. You know you can tell us anything.”
“I know”, Harley said quietly, grounding themself under the comforting weight of Tony’s hand. In that moment, they were glad that Peter wasn’t there, because there was no doubt that the enhanced teen would have been able to hear their tremulous heartbeat from across the room. Harley made themself meet Tony’s eyes, kind and expectant, and the thought of being rejected by the man they trusted with their entire soul was enough to render them mute.
“Harley? What did you want to tell us, bud?”
“I-.” Harley covered their ears as the pounding in their skull coupled with the blaring of the radio sent them into sensory overload. FRIDAY seemed to sense their distress and mercifully turned the music off, though Harley was still dizzy with anxiety.
“Spill the beans. You didn’t get someone pregnant, did you?”, Tony laughed, jabbing their side playfully.
“Daaad.” Harley couldn’t help but roll their eyes at the absurdity of Tony’s question.
“Anthony”, the Doc warned gently.
“What?”, Tony asked the sorcerer innocently, hands raised in defeat. “I’m just trying to lighten the mood, pull his leg a little. I know damn well that he’s ace.” Harley couldn’t help but wince at the use of ‘he’, wishing that they could crawl into a very deep hole and avoid this situation altogether. Catching the Doc’s eye, the ever-perceptive sorcerer narrowed their gaze knowingly at Harley’s minute reaction. As if they knew what the kid was feeling all too well. And maybe he did. Of course he did. That thought alone was enough to give Harley the tiny boost of courage they needed.
“Yeah, Dad. Uh, about that. I…I think I-I’m nonbinary too.” The forbidden word came out in a whisper, like a secret, but Harley suddenly felt as though they could breathe again. “Y-yeah…I’m nonbinary.” A little louder this time. It felt good to say out loud.
Tony visibly sagged with relief. “That’s all? God, that’s alright, kid.” He let out a nervous chuckle tinged with hysteria. “I thought you were gonna say you wanted to move back with your aunt or something.” Harley’s jaw hung slack, too shocked to even mind that Tony had just completely derailed their coming out.
“What? Dad, no! Don’t be stupid. Why would you think that?”
Tony threw his hands up helplessly. “I don’t know! I was trying to think up what might have you so freaked out, and then I got freaked out, okay? You can’t do that to my old ticker, Keener. Lord almighty.” Cocking a brow, Tony scratching his head before pointing an accusing finger at his eldest. “Come to think of it, why make a big hoopla out of this anyway? I would be knocked on my ass surprised if any of my kids turned out to be straight, to be honest.”
“I didn’t make a big hoopla”, Harley snorted, arms crossed defensively.
“You kinda did. You realize the Doc and I are married, yeah?”, Tony asked teasingly, jerking a thumb in the sorcerer’s direction. “We’re as gay as they come, kiddo. And Merlin here’s nonbinary too, you know that, right?”
“Yeah. ‘Course I know”, Harley nodded, as if that fact hadn’t been the subject of their every waking thought as of late. Their cheeks warmed up self-consciously as they noticed the Doc out of the corner of their eye, hands clasped in their lap as they watched the whole scene with an unreadable expression.
“You really thought we weren’t going to accept you?”, Tony asked quietly, suddenly sobered. Genuine hurt showed in his eyes, like he was scared he had failed his kid in giving them a safe space to be themself. A queasy knot of guilt settled in Harley’s stomach at the thought.
“I don’t know…” Harley shrugged, knowing how foolish it sounded when it was put like that. “I just thought…maybe you wouldn’t believe me, ‘cause I don’t really understand why I feel like this myself. And…people always leave me, y’know? I know you guys won’t, but I guess I just got scared. And I thought maybe I’d just imprinted on the Doc like a stupid, baby duck and that’s why I thought I was nonbinary…that I’d get over it eventually, but I haven’t…” Harley trailed off absently. Rambling like that hurt their head, swallowing the taste of bile and blinking back tears that stung the backs of their eyes. Tony was silent for several long moments and Harley couldn’t even force themself to look at him for fear of the hurt they might find there. The quiet remorse emanating from the Doc was deafening, like they blamed themself personally for their kid’s reluctance to come out. Harley chanced a glance in their direction and the intensity of the sorcerer’s apologetic gaze was searing, like a cold blue flame.
Caught up in their own churning guilt, Harley flinched when Tony put an arm around their shoulders, pulling them in closer for an awkward sideways hug. “Of course we believe you, Har-bear. There’s no reason we wouldn’t. Doc’s not the only nonbinary person in the world, they haven't trademarked it or anything.” Tony allowed himself a chuckle, pulling a weak, lopsided grin across Harley’s lips at the sound. “And if that’s who you are, then of course we accept you, kiddo. We love you so much.”
“Th-thanks, Dad. I love you guys too.” Harley was speechless. It had been that easy.
“Thinking we wouldn’t believe you? That’s the internalized homophobia talking, by the way”, the Doc spoke up knowingly, mulling over the mug of lukewarm tea in their hands. “Not to worry, you’ll get over that by the time you’re forty or so.”
“Have you gotten over it?”, Harley asked, the tiniest spark of hope igniting in their chest.
“Not quite”, the Doc admitted with a crooked smile. Levi noticed the change in his tone, gently caressing their master’s cheek with their collar in a comforting gesture. “It’s something you have to work at throughout your life, especially after growing up in places like we did. But you have us, and we’ll help you as much as we can.”
“Thanks.” Harley nodded numbly, still in disbelief that they were finally out. They watched the Doc unfold himself from his cross-legged position on the stool, holding out shaking hands in an offering of a hug. Harley couldn’t help themself, peeling away from Tony’s side to fall against the sorcerer’s chest, wrapping their arms around him and burying their fingers into the thick weave of his knitted sweater. Levi swaddled them both in darkness, a tight hug pressing Harley’s ear against the sorcerer’s chest as they listened to the steady thump of his heart. It was the perfect place to hide away from the harsh realities of the world for just a few moments.
“Thank you for being comfortable enough to tell us, sweetheart”, came the gentle rumble of the Doc’s voice beside their ear. Shame brewed in Harley’s chest with the knowledge that it had taken them so long to come out, but they shoved that feeling down for the sake of the moment. Eventually, the cloak loosened their hold and Harley reluctantly resurfaced, feeling muzzy and warm in the best way possible. They smiled shyly as the Doc carded a shaking hand through their mess of blond hair before sitting back on the stool, hands folded in his lap again.
“Did you have any questions you wanted to ask me?”, the Doc asked. His gaze was open, unguarded and non-judgemental, just as it always was during their talks.
“I dunno.”
“That’s okay. I can imagine you’ll have some later. May I ask you a question then?”
Harley shrugged. “Sure.”
“What pronouns would you like to go by?”
“Uh, they/them.” Harley was surprised by that question, though it was quickly swamped by the elation of simply having someone care enough to ask for the first time. “But I thought nonbinary meant using they/them. Like that’s a given, isn’t it?”
“Usually. But gender doesn’t equal pronouns, and vice versa.” When he was comfortable, the Doc spoke with their hands almost as much as Tony did, scarred fingers dancing over an invisible harp in the air. “I’m nonbinary, but I’m still comfortable with masculine pronouns some of the time.”
“I don’t like ‘em at all”, Harley growled spitefully, almost embarrassed by the force with which those words came out. “Make me feel like shit.”
“How long have you felt like that?” The Doc asked this with the utmost care, but Harley knew it was a loaded question.
“Uh, since the summer I guess”, they muttered, swallowing their guilt once more.
“Oh, orsetto, I wish you had told us sooner”, Tony cooed remorsefully, pulling the twenty-three-year-old into a hug and cradling their head against his shoulder. Harley didn’t fight it, for once, letting themself be held like a little kid, and burying their face against the grease-stained sweatshirt the engineer was wearing. Tony was warm and solid, and smelled of coffee and home, his arms strong around Harley’s thin frame as they were grappled into his embrace. Despite now being a definitive three inches shorter than the twenty-three-year-old, Tony would always be their greatest protector, and Harley’s safe place ever since they had first met in Tennessee. The prickle of the engineer’s goatee was familiar as he pressed a kiss against Harley’s temple, that simple gesture enough to make tears well in their eyes.
“I love you, Dad”, Harley mumbled against his shoulder, feeling Tony’s breath catch as he held back a tearful chuckle.
“I love you too, squirt.”
“I’m sorr-.”
“No, no, none of that.” Metal and flesh arms alike squeezed around Harley a little tighter as if to gently scold them. “Hey. Look at me.” Tony pulled back slightly and cupped their cheek with his good hand, dark and blind eye alike meeting Harley’s with a burning intensity under his furrowed brow. “You’re my kid-.” A loud ahem from the Doc made him check his vocabulary. “Our kid, of course. You’re our kid no matter what. Nothing can ever change that. Got it?”
“Got it”, Harley nodded, voice breaking as they crumbled under the weight of their own vulnerability. Suddenly their legs were trembling, elation coursing through every fibre of their being. Is this what it felt like to be truly alive? Truly happy? Harley’s cheeks were damp with tears and they couldn’t care less. With the unravelling of the tight ball of dread and anxiety in their chest, Harley realized that they were finally safe, with a family who would love them unconditionally. And with this revelation came an idea.
“Hey, um, do you guys remember Raj?” Harley still absently clung to Tony’s sleeve like a little kid, but the question was directed at the sorcerer watching them attentively.
“Yes, of course we do, sweetheart”, the Doc nodded, their eyes and voice warm with affection. “Peter’s mentioned that you two had gotten closer lately.”
“Yeah. Well, uh, he and I are kinda- we’ve been…officially dating for a little while now and I want you guys to meet him.” Usually, the term ‘dating’ would have made Harley’s stomach turn, but it was different with Raj. He made Harley feel safe and understood in a way no-one besides their parents or Peter ever had. “He’s kinda helped me through all this, and…I think he’s gonna stick around for a while.”
“Of course. We’d love to meet him, kid”, Tony said gently, immediately misty-eyed as a relieved smile broke out over his face. “He’s welcome here anytime.”
Harley let themself be pulled into another exuberant hug, arms slung around Tony’s shoulders as Levi pulled the Doc over to join them, completing their cocoon of safety as the relic wrapped around their little family unit. The group hug was a comfortable jumble of limbs and familiar scents, a gentle hand cradling the back of Harley’s neck and a smattering of prickly kisses pressed against their forehead. More happy tears trickled down their face with the overwhelming sense that they finally belonged. Contentedly sandwiched between their dads, Harley succumbed to the newfound peace in their heart that they hadn’t felt since their earliest years of childhood, where they could find joy in the simplest of moments, and finally find a home in the arms of the two men who had saved them in more ways than one.