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With a grumble, Hardy tossed his keys down and entered his flat. The lights buzzed for a second as he switched them on and sat down at his small two-person table, shoving a small takeaway bag in front of him. The smiley face on the bag stared at him as he frowned back. He let out a sigh as he attempted to rub his headache away, massaging his temples in hopes of feeling some relief.
What a day, it had been.
Sure, he’d been in plenty of petty squabbles with Tess, but his headache grew when Dave decided to get on his high horse to critique Hardy’s parenting decisions. One thing led to another until he stormed off before the neighbors took complaint.
Hardy had only gone over there to drop Daisy off. She had been dealing with her own problems- most of the time leading to an argument with Tess- so Daisy had chosen to stay with him for the weekend to avoid unnecessary unpleasantries and disputes (which, apparently hadn’t been an issue before Hardy had shown up, according to Dave).
Tess was gracious enough to let Hardy leave before something worse than a couple, albeit loud, bitter comments were made. Hardy had been a fool to think he’d be able to fix the family. And even after two months of a never ending battle with Tess, he still had some wishful thinking it would work out in the end. Hardy realized that he didn’t love Tess anymore and god knows Tess had moved on quite a while ago. But really, it wasn’t about Tess. Though he kept some respect for her, he knew that he wasn’t staying here to fix his relationship with her. He was here to fix his relationship with his daughter.
Dave’s words hurt only because he knew they were partly true.
Hardy knew that he wasn’t a great dad. Not yet, at least. He’d missed out on so much. He had lost a great deal of time with Daisy he knew he could never have back. He hadn’t been there to ease her through the trials of her teenage years. He wasn’t there to hold her hand when times were tough and tell her everything would be alright. Even before Sandbrook, he’d been negligent to the declining state of their family relationship. He’d always been oblivious of the emotional distress their lifestyle had been on Daisy. Tess always blamed him for the dysfunctionality of their family. He always blamed Tess. But, looking back now? Maybe, just maybe Tess was right.
He always wondered how things would have turned out if he’d given more attention to the family before Sandbrook. What if he had been a better partner to Tess? Would she still have left him? What if he’d paid more attention to Daisy instead of staying hunched over a desk, deciphering words he was too tired to read? Would he be so alone?
Would he be so lonely?
His phone buzzing against the table woke him from his gloomy reasoning. Automatically reaching for the phone, he carelessly grabbed for the phone in front of him, knocking his glass over in the process. His heart beat fast as he tried to clear the table of any papers while simultaneously grabbing the glass before it fell. He seemed to do neither. With one loud clack, he, the table, and the floor were now wet and a useless glass lay broken, waiting to be cleaned up.
Fuck.
He remained slouched in his chair. After his half-hearted attempt to dry the table, he figured it would dry off eventually anyway. So, he left it as is and just sat in the silence.
The absence of Daisy after a weekend of muffled music and laughter caused his heart to ache.
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She was lost.
A part of her knew that she had been lost for a while now. She had chosen to ignore the unsettling feeling of not knowing how to proceed. But, as more time passed, it felt harder and harder to pretend she knew what she was doing.
She sighed, letting herself fall onto the sofa. Ellie clicked the television on, letting the late-night news play in the background as she scrolled through her emails and messages.
Still nothing from Hardy.
She had been hoping to hear from him. Wishful thinking, she knew it was. He had said his goodbyes, and so had she. But it would be nice to hear that he was doing well, that he was with his family, spending the time he had left with his daughter before she was off to University.
Of course, maybe she just wanted the reassurance that everything could be alright. That, with persistence and perseverance, things would eventually go back to how they were. In time, maybe they could be living the lives they had before the trial. If Hardy could find home, so could she.
Two months. It had been two months since he had left Broadchurch.
Those two months had felt like an eternity.
Her family was falling apart.
Tom had eventually come around to living with her again. But, she knew all was not forgiven just yet. She saw how tired he looked everyday. Seeing a genuine smile from him came few and far between. Other days, he’d stay in his room, in front of the computer. Every time she tried to comfort him, he’d deflect the sentiment and continue to hide from her.
She eventually figured giving him his space was the best thing she could do for him. He was growing up. No longer would warm smiles and hugs fix every problem in the world. Before he could ask for help, he had to be willing to face his problems first.
But maybe that wasn’t the right move at all. It worried her how much of Tom she didn’t see.
And then there was her dad who’d just settled in with her not two weeks ago. Mum had died. Ellie, who was arranging the funeral and filling out the records, was tired. Her dad had agreed to watch over Fred while she was at work, but that didn’t ease her any more than Tom shrugging her off when she asked how his school day went.
She worried. She worried about Tom. She worried about Fred.
And she was still angry.
Therapy only got her so far. She was still angry at Joe.
How could he have done this?
She was stuck with the aftermath of everything. And she was stuck, navigating uncharted sea, alone. She could only get so far on her own before getting lost.
In truth, she had always been navigating life without a compass. It was a simple fact of life as a parent. It was hard. It was scary. But, she had always had a partner to help. And, that partner turned out to be the maker of the muddy waters she was wading in.
She was alone and that worried her.
Would she be enough to fix this mess?