Work Text:
That Monday, the first rose showed up. It was beautiful, and Remus would come to find it had been enchanted to never wither. With it came a single scrap of parchment.
'If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man was loved by one, then thee.
If ever one was happy in a man,
Compare with me, ye women, if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold,
Or all the riches the East doth hold.
My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought be love from thee give recompense.
Thy love is such I can in no way repay;
The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray.
Then while we live, in love let's so persevere,
That when we live no more, we may live ever.'
Remus didn't have a significant other, nor had he ever had an admirer before. The note caused a faint blush to form on his cheeks, and he shoved it into his pocket before anyone else could see. It was a beautiful sentiment, but Remus felt bad for whoever sent it. Because there was only one person he wanted to send him love notes, and that was Sirius Black. Which, need he say more, was not about to happen. Better for whoever it was to stop now. But of course, Remus didn't know who it was, so he couldn't tell them that. So the notes kept coming.
Tuesday at dinner an owl swooped in, dropping an envelope on his plate. Of course, seeing as it was not mail time, it drew attention. Figuring it would look more suspicious to hide the envelope and open it later, he peeked inside. Another note, a short letter, and a rose lay inside. He pulled out the letter first, reading:
'Oh my love, how I wish you would see me the same. Do you? Is it possible? I like to imagine so. Sometimes you'll smile at me and it completely melts my heart.
Love you forever,
Me'
Ah yes, such a helpful signature. Remus was really starting to feel bad for whoever it was. Next, he read the note.
'Shall I compare thee to a summers day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summers lease has all too short a date.
Sometimes too hot the eye of heaven shines, And often his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometimes declines,
By chance, or Nature's changing course untrimmed;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lode possession of that fair thou ow'st
Nor shall death brag thou wander'est in his shade,
When in eternal lines to Time thou grow'st
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.'
Somewhere in the back of Remus's head he realised that he knew that handwriting, but the thought didn't really register. He put the poem back into the envelope and kept eating, turning red again. James, Peter, Sirius, and even Lily were looking at him oddly, but he ignored them. He decided that if this carried on for too much longer, he'd have to find out who it was and put a stop to it.
When he got back to the common room, he fell back on his bed, closing his eyes.
"Hey Moons," Sirius said.
"Yes?"
"What'd you get at dinner?"
Remus tilted his head up and looked at him. "Why?"
"Just curious," he replied. Remus shook his head and laid it back down on his bed. "Holy fuck!" He said, sitting up. "How the fuck did they get in here?" The top of his bed was covered in poems, all held up by spell-o-tape."What?" Sirius asked, coming to look. "Damn." He said. "This dude must really like you."
"Claims to love me. Poor guy," Remus said.
"Why 'poor guy'? Are you not going to give him a chance?" Remus froze. That was dumb. "Well," he tried to choose his words carefully. "What are the chances I'd be interested in him? Very low."
"You'll never know until you try, right? I mean, what if he's amazing? And really, if the dude says he loves you, don't you at least owe him a chance?" Sirius asked.
"I don't owe him anything," Remus said curtly. He was starting to get upset. It was one thing for Sirius not to like him, but to have to hear him trying to get him to be with someone else was bad. "Why do you care anyway? You've never given a damn about other people before." Remus started pulling the notes off his bed and heard Sirius inhale sharply. There was a beat of silence, and if Remus wasn't so upset he probably would've apologised. In all honesty, he hadn't even thought twice about his statement. "Fine then. Good luck with your dumb nobody problem." And he walked away. When Sirius was gone, Remus slowed down enough to actually read some of the notes.
'You came into my life
Like a breath of fresh air
And then
You took my breath away.
It's ironic how the people
We can breathe easy around
Are the same ones
Who make us forget
We need to breathe at all.'
'I made my life an arrow,
The tip a deadly sharpened point,
So people never came so close
That I might disappoint.
I'd sit and watch in silence
As the world would pass me by,
Wondering how far I'd fall If I ever tried to fly.
You watched me with such interest,
Like it was me you'd tried to find,
As though you knew all of my secrets
And the thoughts within my mind.
You looked like all the others,
But what I did not know
Was while I made myself an arrow
You made yourself a bow.
And apart we'd both been useless,
But we'd finally worked out why;
Since you needed someone to pull you back
If you ever want to fly.
So you aimed me with precision
And I flew straight from the start,
Until I landed with a solid thud
On the target of your heart.'
'To know that I miss you,
So much when you leave;
To know that I need you
Like the air I breathe.
To know that I want you
With a passion so blind,
Is to know that I love you--
With no doubt in my mind.'
'Stars
In many ways
Are like scars.
Every twinkling sketch
Distracts your eyes from the canvas beneath
To where
You can no longer
Marvel
A beauty so profound and quiet in nature
It encompasses every reach
Bearing only
Alluring imagination
For a good man to construct.'
'You said there was no beauty within you,
You were a candle devoid of a spark,
So you set all your feelings on fire
In hopes it would light up your dark.
You said there was no beauty within you,
You were an ocean whose depths had run dry.
So you filled all the cracks in your laughter
With a flood of the tears you would cry.
And I wish that the beauty within you
Hadn't caused you to view life with doubt,
Because you said there was no beauty within you,
But there sure is no beauty without.'
'I've made a lot of mistakes in life,
But if
Every single one
Had to happen to make sure I was
Right here,
Right now,
To meet you,
Then I forgive myself for them all.'
'He is the thought behind the feeling,
The swelling in my chest,
The starlight in the evening,
The yearning when I undress.
He is the sound behind the sighing,
The song of every bird,
The tears in all my crying--
The ache in every word.'
'I love you
With every
Piece of me.
I will love
And love
And love
Until I have nothing
Left,
And then I will make more
Out of the nothing
That lives
Where everything
Once did.
I would
Dismantle me
To put you
Back together
Again.'
By then Remus was crying, and he wasn't sure if was from his frustration, from the upset caused by Sirius not caring, or from wishing beyond anything else he would care enough to do something like this- care enough to love him. But no matter what the reason his sobs carried him into a fitful sleep that was, sadly, not at all dreamless.
When he woke up he was the last one still in the dorms. A note graced the door, and he almost threw it away without reading it, but something made him look at it.
'Remus, I don't know why it upset you so, but I am sorry. Not for loving you, no, for that I shall never feel anything but pride (for what a one to love), but for forcing it upon you. My love for you shall never end, but your rebuke is clear, and I promise you'll never hear of it again.
My deepest apologies,
Me'
Remus read the note several times in disbelief. Not at the contents. No, to top it all off, his disbelief was aimed at the writer. How Remus had not immediately recognized the beautiful calligraphy was beyond him.
He knew Sirius Black's handwriting, and this was certainly it. He stood there for a moment, still staring, before the door opened and smacked him in the face. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry," Sirius helped him up from the ground. Remus stared at him. Sirius looked back nervously. "Er, I was just making sure you were up and- I- well, you are, so-" Remus turned around, grabbed the nearest hardcover and whacked him about the shoulders with it. "What-" smack "the-" smack "actual" smack "fuck?!" "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I didn't know you behind the door- I-"
"You think I care about the fucking door?" Remus said, incredulous. Sirius bit his lips nervously. "Um, what, what is it about then?"
Remus sighed. "Was it a joke?" Sirius's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Was what a-"
Remus cut him off. "The notes. The poems and shit, were they some stupid fucking joke? Some 'oh, let's mess with Moony' crap?" His eyes got wide and he hung his head. He mumbled something that Remus didn't quite catch.
"What was that?" He asked.
"No, they weren't," Sirius repeated, still not looking at Remus. "There's no point in lying, I know your fucking handwriting Sirius, I know you wrote them-"
"I did." Sirius looked up at him. "Of course I bloody well did. But they weren't a joke. Not a prank or a lie or anything but the truth. I-" he gulped. "I'm in love with you Remus. There's nothing either of us could do about it and I wouldn't change it if I could. I would sooner die a thousand painful deaths than stop loving you, even if you don't love me back. Now if we could stop discussing this that'd be great. You're making me break my promise."
Silence and then: "You love me?"
Sirius sighed. "Yeah, mate. I do."
"Why?"
Remus sat back down on the ground. He was confused and upset with himself. Here was all he had ever wanted, and he was sitting here asking why he got it. Sirius sat down beside him, looking at him. "It's impossible not to," he replied, as if it was the most obvious answer ever. And that was it for Remus. In a second he was on top of Sirius, kissing him as if his life depended on it. And maybe it did. Who knows where in the well of depression he, or any of us, would be without those we need most? Breathless, they decided that class was not really the most important thing on their to-do list, and instead focused on each other.
It was a glorious day.