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Kai was worried about his sister, he was scared of what she’ll have to go through to become an idol, that too at this age. He knew the public wouldn’t take it too well. But he couldn’t let his worry hold his sister back from her dream, so he didn’t say anything, but quietly watched as Bahiyyih suffered from the hate. He witnessed the type of comments they made about her.
“You're only famous because of your brother!”
“She doesn’t even have talent, she probably got in because of Kai.”
“Nobody loves you, you're talented and ugly. Hyuka is so much better.”
It hurt Kai so much. What hurt even more was seeing Bahiyyih pretend it wasn’t bothering her, and keeping her lovely smile on her face all the time. The fact that he couldn’t do anything about it saddened him more.
She didn’t deserve all of this, she deserved so much more. It was awful for both the siblings. Kai knew what it was like to receive this amount of hate, it happened to him almost daily. But Bahiyyih was young, she didn’t know how to deal with them.
When it was announced she was part of the final line up, Kai couldn’t have been happier, but some people didn’t take it too well. The hate only got worse from there. People kept comparing Bahiyyih to the other girls, making everything a competition.
Kai made a post on twitter, indirectly telling all the haters to back off, but nobody got the message. The hate was as bad as before, disguised as “constructive criticism,” comments about her body (which disgusted Kai, Bahiyyih was only a minor), about her face, people made comments about anything and everything.
Finally the girl debuted. She shined bright in her own way, along with the other girls. Kai was happy, very happy. His sister was successful in becoming the thing she always dreamt of, why wouldn’t he be? He couldn’t help but notice the absurd comments had died down, and that made him happier. But it only lasted a day, and then people were back to criticizing Bahiyyih. People were starting to point out that she had almost no lines, and barely had any screen time, but the haters argued back. “Bahiyyih isn’t the only member in the group,” they said.
Kai's concern grew again, and the other members noticed. They asked him what was bothering him, but Kai didn’t tell them. It wasn’t worth it, what could they do anyway?
The thing was, he was almost the same age as Bahiyyih when he debuted, and the same type of comments were made about his group. People were saying how they only got famous because of their seniors, BTS. It got to him a lot, but the members were always there for him, because he talked about how he was feeling, but Bahiyyih didn’t. She didn’t say how it was affecting her, so nobody paid that much attention. Kai saw right through it, how hurt she was by the comments, how much she was trying to hide it, everything.
It never seemed to die down, no matter how much the fans were trying to defend the poor girl. Bahiyyih too now had started looking down, she wasn’t as cheerful as before. Still, she tried to put on a smile and present the best of her to the people around.
Kai decided to confront her about it, this couldn’t go on. She had to know her worth, how talented she was. She wasn’t just popular because of him, but because of herself.
“I’m fine,” she replied, but it wasn’t enough to satisfy the older one. He stopped her from running away from exiting the room. She looked at him and sighed. “Nothing is going to get solved if you act like this Bahiyyih. Please, talk to me.”
The girl looked at him for a while, before freeing her wrist from the hold of her brother and leaving the room. Kai watched her, disappointed in both himself and Bahiyyih.
He too sighed and left her sister’s room, going to his own. He closed the door and plopped down on the bed. He looked at the ceiling lost in thought. Maybe Bahiyyih didn’t want to talk because she was okay? Maybe he was just overthinking? But there was no way the hate hadn’t affected her. The amount he got when he debuted was way less, but he was still doubting himself, so how could Bahiyyih be ok with almost double the hate?
He tried to shoo away the thoughts, but the harder he tried, the deeper he dived into them. He stayed up thinking about it until he was tired, and dozed off to sleep.
The next morning he was shaken awake by Bahiyyih. She looked sad, like she was going to cry. Kai couldn’t describe how much he wanted to hug her at that moment.
“Can I talk to you?” she asked in a whimper as the other sat up straight. “Of course you can.”
Bahiyyih sighed and shifted in her place a little before saying, “You know how you asked me about those comments yesterday evening?” Kai nodded, slowly understanding what she wanted to say.
The younger one took a deep breath and said, “The truth is, it has been affecting me, a lot. They are always so mean, they make me feel like I’m worthless…”
As soon as she finished her sentence, Kai embraced her into a long, warm hug. “You’re not worthless, how could you be? Don’t say something like that ever again.”
They broke the hug and the boy noticed a few tears on Bahiyyih’s face. He wiped them with his thumb and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Next time you feel bad from the hate, try not to let it get to you, and come talk to me, K?”
Bahiyyih nodded, wiping the tears running down her cheeks. She hugged Kai before muttering a quiet “thank you,” and leaving the room. The older one smiled, happy from the fact Bahiyyih talked to him and opened up. For a few days he too distanced himself from the comments, he spent time with the members, his family, and hosted some occasional vlives. For some time he almost forgot that hate comments even existed, it was all happy for him again.
But it came back to him as he watched the Kep1er fansite. It was happening all over again, Bahiyyih was being neglected again. All the other members got gifts, yet she didn’t. No one paid that much attention to her (except for the members of course), she was visibly sad.
It made Kai’s blood boil. He frowned and paused the video. He tried to get it out of his mind, tried to think of something happy, but nothing worked.
She’ll talk to me if something’s wrong, He kept repeating in his mind. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose and got up. The best way to forget about it was spending time with his members, so he went to them.
He had a fun day. He forgot about anything negative in his mind and just had fun with his hyungs. When he got to the dorms, he saw four missed calls from his sister. Thinking it was important, he called her back. Bahiyyih immediately picked up the call, answering it with a quiet, “Hey.”
Kai could feel the sadness in her voice. It was so burdening on his heart to see Bahiyyih, the girl who was the mood maker of the family, suddenly be so sad. All because she was his sister.
“Are you ok Bahiyyih?”
There was no answer from the other side, except some quiet sobs. Kai gasped and tried to calm Bahiyyih down. He got her to stop crying, and tried to cheer her up. Bahiyyih was difficult to cheer up, it was like it was printed in her brain that she doesn’t deserve to be loved, she’s only loved because she’s his sister. All those emotions at just 17 weren’t easy to deal with. And at times like these, Kai wondered…
Are we too young for this?
