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"If you think I’ll help you rewrite those reports, you’re mad.” It’s Erwin, and Levi’s never heard him sound like this. Cold, but not quite. Angry, but not quite.
Levi doesn’t often feel stupid. Oh, he’s under no illusions about his own mental acuity. He has his strengths, he has the glaring gaps in knowledge and trivia that any street rat would. Most importantly, he is incredibly self-aware. It is this awareness that rarely makes him feel lacking, in any way.
But there are times, a few rare specific times, where he feels like an absolute idiot. An unthinking moron. A dumbass of the silliest order. This is one of them.
He’d been cleaning Erwin’s office. He’s done it often enough for it to not seem odd, not to him and Erwin at least, even if they don’t talk about it. It started as a sudden, desperate need to ground himself one nightmare-ridden night. Erwin had been too careful — no, mindful of Levi’s state of mind, and he’d just let him clean. The next time Levi turned up, he’d raised a single thick eyebrow, but said nothing. He never said anything about it at all.
Except this time, Levi has a nagging sense of overstepping somehow. He’s never cleaned Erwin’s office when Erwin wasn’t in it. Like it’s an invasion of his privacy, too similar to what he and Farlan and Isabel had tried to do—
Well. It’s not like he snooped, because he didn’t. He didn’t touch anything other than what he usually did anyway. Hasn’t even read a single stray word from the odd document or two that he straightened on the desk. He wasn’t doing anything wrong, anything different from the usual.
Which is why he can’t explain why he reacted the way he did when he heard loud footsteps outside the doors. They were strident, decisive (angry?), and Levi was too caught up in scrubbing a grease stain from one of the lamps to catch the sounds sooner. He probably had all of three seconds left, and he reacted instinctively: grabbing his cloths and broom, he hurled himself into the small wooden cupboard that’s used to store his supplies, and closed the door on himself.
Just as the office doors swing open forcefully.
Two pairs of boots cross the wooden floor, the carpet near the couch. One of them goes all the way up to the windows behind the desk. The other one stops on the carpet abruptly, and Levi hears Erwin say, "If you think I’ll help you rewrite those reports, you’re mad.”
“You’re being difficult.”
“And you’re being obtuse,” Erwin says stiffly. Levi clutches his broom handle tighter. It’s not so much the words, but whom Erwin is saying them to: Commander Shadis, presumably the one standing near the windows, audibly exhausted. And Levi knows now, with absolute certainty, that he shouldn’t be here. Stupid, he’s so fucking stupid for hiding instead of just leaving.
“What would you have me do then?” Shadis says testily.
“Have more conviction in your soldiers,” Erwin snaps. “You’re not doing them any favours by keeling over.”
“Watch it, Erwin,” Shadis mutters darkly. There’s a tense moment of silence. “If I don’t do this—”
“If you do do this, you are feeding them for the next two months. And potentially letting them starve this winter.”
“I’d sooner dissolve the Corps than let that happen,” Shadis says, his voice catching.
“Potentially dooming the rest of humanity,” Erwin quips, merciless and sharp. “How noble of you.”
“Then what would you have me do?” Shadis repeats, his voice higher now, a desperate snarl. “Why didn’t you find us a way out of this mess if you’re so clever, huh?”
“I told you I needed time,” Erwin somehow manages to sound calm yet furious at the same time. “I told you not to meet with the Baron.”
Shadis lets out a sound like a scoff and starts pacing, his boots tapping a tense, anxious staccato on the floorboards. “You don’t know,” he mutters, “you don’t get it. You don’t know what it’s like, how heavy the burden is. What do you know, huh?” His voice is rising in weak waves, his bluster without substance. “You with your golden looks and your pretty fucking words… what the fuck do you know Erwin?”
Erwin’s silence is rather pointed, even to Levi. Everyone knows Erwin is already doing half of Shadis’ work anyway, and doing it better, too.
Shadis’ footsteps stop suddenly and the silence is ringing now. Levi grits his teeth. He really, really doesn’t want to listen to this. Stupid, he tells himself again fiercely.
Shadis starts walking again, and it sounds like he’s back on the rug when he stops. Like he’s standing right in front of Erwin. His voice, when he speaks, is lower than it has ever been, and yet Levi, thanks to his excellent senses, hears all of it.
“Fuck you,” Shadis mutters. “You don’t get to tell me what to do.” Levi’s never heard him sound so pathetic.
Erwin probably thinks the same, because the disdain is dripping from his voice. “Either I do or I don’t. Make up your mind.”
“I can have you court-martialled for insubordination.”
Levi almost snorts. The threat is empty. Levi doesn’t know most of what Erwin gets up to, but going by his dealings with Lobov, Levi is certain Erwin already has contingencies in place if Shadis ever decided to follow up on this threat.
But Erwin’s next words take Levi by surprise. “You could. But I’d rather you didn’t.” A harsh sigh. “I don’t mean to antagonise you, Keith. We both want the same thing.”
“Do we?”
“Believe it or not, I’m not in any rush to be the Commander of the — how did they put it — ‘Suicidal Weirdo Corps’.” Shadis lets out a soft snort, and just like that, the tension breaks. Levi frowns; he remembers the jeer screeching across the crowds waiting for them in the streets when they returned from their most recent expedition. At the time, it had made Levi feel strangely defensive. Offended, even. He doesn’t understand how Shadis and Erwin can joke about it so easily, when they care more about the Corps than Levi ever has.
Erwin continues, his voice just as smooth as before, but somehow not as cold, “Let me think on this tonight. We can discuss our next steps tomorrow morning.”
Shadis’ response is immediate. “Fine.” He doesn’t quite hide the relief in his voice as he starts to walk towards the door. “I’ll see you after the Squad Leaders’ meeting.”
“Before,” Erwin says decisively. Shadis pauses and Erwin explains, “If we decide on a course of action first, we can brief the Squad Leaders accordingly.”
Shadis doesn’t say anything, but he must have nodded or something, because the next thing Levi hears is the creak of the door opening, then closing, and then Shadis’ footsteps fading in the corridor beyond. Levi lets out a silent breath he didn’t know he was holding in.
Well. That was illuminating. He props the broom against the cupboard wall soundlessly. Now he just needs to figure out how to get out of here without—
“You can come out now, Levi,” Erwin says mildly.
Of fucking course.
Levi pushes the door open and steps out with little ceremony. However stupid and awkward he was feeling in the cupboard, he doesn’t let it show now. Erwin is still standing in the middle of his office, on the threadbare rug next to the couch. He probably hasn’t moved an inch since he first walked in here.
“Enjoyed the show?” Erwin murmurs, and Levi bristles angrily.
“No,” he chooses to say, and turns on his heel, ready to leave. He’s not gonna waste time explaining himself or rising to Erwin’s barb—
“Wait,” Erwin says suddenly. “I apologise.”
Levi freezes at that. He turns back slowly. “You’re apologising to me.”
“I didn’t mean to sound… accusatory.” Erwin sighs, and finally moves from his spot to go sit on the couch. Levi stares at him, he’s never seen him sit so…loosely. He’s practically slouching, head tipped back, hand resting lightly on his closed eyes. “Our arrival probably took you by surprise,” Erwin mumbles. “We weren’t expecting to return so soon.”
“Why?”
Erwin doesn’t reply immediately, instead, he stretches out the hand that isn’t covering his eyes and pats the couch next to him lightly. The message is clear, and after a split second of hesitation, Levi goes and sits next to him on the couch, leaving plenty of space between them.
“Have you heard of the Baron?” Erwin asks him quietly.
“Yes.”
“Oh.” Erwin’s hand slips off his face and he glances at Levi, his blue eyes piercing. “Good. Then I don’t have to explain what he does.” Levi simply keeps looking at him, expectant. Erwin sighs and looks away, his gaze focused on the ceiling. “He made an offer to Shadis, who didn’t know well enough to refuse him.” He swallows, and Levi watches his skin ripple over his throat. “Central is cutting our funding, and the Baron offered to offset the difference. If we alter our resource requirements in our reports and reroute the excess to him.”
‘Resource requirements’. Levi knows exactly what that means.
He raises an eyebrow. “Bit roundabout way to acquire weapons.”
“Cheaper than bribing the Military Police, I’m afraid.”
“And at any other point in the supply chain?”
Erwin shakes his head minutely. “Security’s too tight. If there’s any weaponry being smuggled, the MPs want in on it.”
Levi snorts. “Figures.” He takes a moment to ruminate over everything Erwin has just told him. Even in the Underground, he’d heard enough of the Baron to know that dealing with him was an extremely bad idea. Only desperate people fell for his schemes, which means that Shadis is desperate. “How bad is it?”
“The cut is… substantial,” Erwin admits softly. “We’d have to make some serious adjustments to make do with our reduced budget.”
Levi hums. “And how firm was Shadis’ agreement with the Baron?”
“Meh.” The sound is lazy, casual, and Levi feels a faint ripple of shock. Erwin’s never been either of those things around Levi, especially when it's just the two of them. "At least he didn't sign anything, since none of this is legal."
Levi hums again, fiddling with the top of his boot. "Baron's not gonna let this go though."
"Probably not," Erwin agrees.
"Want me to kill him?" Levi asks him.
Erwin's eyes are instantly on him, quiet and blazing. Levi simply stares back. Then Erwin glances down at the hand Levi has resting on top of his own boot. He gestures with a small nod, and Levi draws out the knife from its sheath within the boot and holds it out, blade first. He doesn't even bother asking how Erwin knew it was there.
Erwin doesn't take the knife from Levi, simply presses on the very tip of the blade with a single finger. A spot of blood blooms on his skin almost instantly.
"Sharp," Erwin comments. Levi doesn't say anything, unable to look away from the bright scarlet spot on Erwin's fingertip. It makes his heart pound for some reason. Erwin uncurls the rest of his fingers and Levi sees the silvery scar his other blade has already left on his palm. When he speaks he feels like it's someone else talking with his voice.
"That a yes for killing him?"
Another of Erwin's fingers flirts along the edge of the knife. Levi holds himself still, tamping down the urge to move the blade. He's not even sure if he wants to move it away or press into the callused fingertips, for some reason.
"No," Erwin says finally, and he actually sounds a little regretful. "Our meeting with him was not in secret. We'd be suspected immediately."
"Shame," Levi grunts and whips away the knife, ignoring the involuntary twitch of Erwin's fingers as if he wanted to hold onto its sharp edge, ignoring the inexplicable thrill that runs through him when he feels Erwin’s blue eyes following his movements, watching him slide the knife back into the boot.
"I do hope there's a proper brace for holding it," Erwin murmurs, still focused on Levi's boot, as if he can see the knife through it. "Wouldn't want you to cut yourself."
Levi snorts harshly. "You're the one who cut himself." He nods at the bead of blood on his finger.
Erwin glances at it as though surprised. "Oh." Then he brings his fingertip to his mouth very nonchalantly and sucks it.
And Levi forgets how to breathe.
It barely lasts all of two seconds, but the image is burned into his brain: Erwin's full lips pouting around his finger, the pink tip of his tongue flicking at his skin as he draws back. Levi draws a belated breath in a rush as Erwin glances at him again, and now Levi finds himself drowning in icy blue eyes. The moment holds, suspended in time, their gazes locked onto each other.
This is absolute idiocy. This is a fucking problem.
“What can I do?” Levi rasps, and his voice does nothing to break the mood. On the contrary.
Erwin’s response is a beat late. “What?” He asks, his voice soft but just as hoarse.
“The Baron.” Levi tries. “How can I help?”
Again it seems to take a moment for his words to reach Erwin. When they do, a small furrow appears between his brows, and Erwin leans forward slightly. “You—”
A loud knock on the door interrupts them, the sound ripping through the air between them like a gunshot. Levi leaps to his feet.
“Yes,” Erwin calls out, his eyes still fixed on Levi’s face.
“A word, Erwin.” It’s Mike. Fuck.
“Come in,” Erwin states, straightening his posture, all stiff and proper once more. The door opens immediately, and Mike steps in. And pauses when he sees Levi, standing in front of the couch like a skittish deer.
“Ah,” he says, and Levi has to fight to push down his annoyance. He doesn’t know what he just interrupted. Even Levi doesn’t know what he just interrupted. “I can come back later?”
Erwin stands up swiftly and strides to his desk. He’s no longer casual, all business now. “No. Stay. I think you both can contribute to this discussion.”
Levi and Mike exchange an appraising glance. “You told him about the Baron,” Mike notes, his voice mild.
“Levi’s experience will give us a unique perspective on this… mess.”
Mike, to Levi’s surprise, simply shrugs and mutters, “Can’t argue with that.” And sits in one of the chairs at Erwin’s desk. Erwin pauses at his chair, his eyes meeting Levi's again. There is a tense, breathless pause.
"You do want to contribute?" Erwin asks him. His voice is too soft. Mike is right there, for fucks' sake.
"Tch." Levi pulls back the other chair forcefully. "Told you I would, didn't I?" He growls and sits on the chair, arms crossed. Erwin sends him a fleeting smile, a mere quirk of his mouth, and for a split second Levi remembers the way Erwin's full lips pressed onto his own finger, soft and wet.
"You're bleeding, Erwin," Mike says suddenly, and they all glance down at Erwin's finger again. There's another tiny droplet of blood resting there.
"Ah." This time, Erwin whips out a fucking handkerchief, and presses it onto his fingertip, studiously avoiding Levi's glare.
"Papercut?" Mike asks genially.
"No." A flicker of ice blue lands on Levi. "Just me being stupid."
Levi snorts. "An absolute idiot," he agrees.
“It appears to be a day made for foolishness,” Erwin says. And somehow Levi knows that Erwin’s smile, small and secretive, is just for him.