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diluc didn’t remember falling asleep except for some small details. he remembered kaeya taking his vision off of his person and setting it on the desk. he took the claymore and moved it… somewhere else. they both knew it didn’t really matter where he moved it- diluc could summon it at will anyway.
kaeya told diluc to get some sleep. diluc didn’t bother getting under the covers, just sat curled up on top of them. he felt the bed shake a bit as kaeya sat on the edge of the bed tentatively. it felt… strange. no one had watched over him like this in years, and now here was his brother, who he almost killed, sitting with a hand on his shoulder.
it was morning now though, he realized, as the sun attempted to peak through the curtains and burn his eyes.
“kaeya?” he called out weakly. his voice felt hoarse and rough, probably from crying. he heard noise stir behind him.
“i’m still here,” kaeya’s voice replied. he sounded so tired.
diluc sat up and turned to him. he was still sitting in the same place he was when diluc fell asleep. why didn’t he sleep?
“did you sleep at all?” diluc asked him.
kaeya gave a small smile, and diluc felt something break in him.
“you should’ve just gone home,” he grumbled. “i was… fine. see? i slept and everything.”
kaeya let out a noise that diluc couldn’t quite place- one between shock and anger.
“are you genuinely an idiot, diluc? because i’m not,” he said. “i’m not stupid. i know what you would’ve done if i’d gone home- and i don’t plan on leaving you today, either.”
diluc’s head shot up at that.
“what’s that supposed to mean? shirking your knight duties? i’m a grown man, sir kaeya, and i-“
“you are a grown man. a grown man who clearly can’t be left alone right now.”
“i can take care of myself, i’m not helpless!”
“how do i know that, diluc? because last night you looked like you were gonna do it. if i hadn’t been there, you were going to kill yourself. so right now, maybe i am doubting your ability to care for yourself,” kaeya leaned in and hissed his words. diluc hadn’t seen him this angry with him in years. “i know i’m not the person you want taking care of you, nor am i going to be able to fix any of what’s going on here, but i’m sticking around so you don’t do anything stupid, understand?”
diluc could do nothing but sit back and nod. there were plenty of things he wanted to say: that he was glad it was kaeya who stopped him, that he was happy kaeya was even here. but a sick feeling in his gut kept the words from leaving his tongue.
“when’s the last time you ate?” kaeya crossed his arms.
“yesterday,” diluc said simply. “breakfast.”
kaeya stood up and stretched.
“alright then. let’s go make some stuff. don’t worry, i already spoke with adelinde. they won’t ask questions.”
the words didn’t feel as reassuring as he knew kaeya meant them to be, and diluc felt shame crawling up his spine. he should be fine, he should get up and get changed and go right back to work. that’s what everyone wanted; a productive diluc was a wanted diluc. a needed diluc. if he wasn’t productive, what else was he good for?
was he worse when he was taking care of himself? should he do that less?
“did you… tell jean?” diluc said, slowly making his way off the bed.
“not yet. no. but i am gonna have to tell her something in order for me to get time off.”
“how long do you plan on staying?”
“we’ll see. for now, let’s go eat something, alright?”
diluc looked away hesitantly.
“please?”