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"Sire? Sire, can you hear me?" A familiar voice drifted down through the layers of choking fog wrapped around Arthur's mind. "Sire, open your eyes for me." It was getting clearer now - the haze was beginning to dissipate. Prying his lids apart felt like splitting a log with his bare hands; gradually, though, he forced them open. Gaius's worried face peered down at him.
Arthur opened his mouth to speak. His breath came in barely more than a whisper. Gaius shook his head. "Take a moment, Sire. You were under a very powerful curse." A curse? The last thing he could remember was a pair of golden eyes, watching him triumphantly over the lip of his goblet as he drank. His strength was slowly returning, though, and he managed to sit up with only a little assistance.
"What happened to the sorcerer?" he croaked.
"In the dungeons. You've only been out a few hours. You'll have plenty of time to worry about him later." Gaius handed him a cup filled with a brown liquid, nodding for him to drink. Arthur winced and swallowed it down - as he assumed, it tasted absolutely foul. He groaned as he returned the cup.
"I thought legalising magic would be the end of all these sorcerers wanting to kill me."
"It certainly helped the problem, Sire, but has not eliminated it entirely. And it doesn't seem his intent was to kill you."
Arthur frowned at him. "It wasn't? What kind of curse was it then?"
"Curs add sé aýdlig heorte - the curse of the empty heart. We're lucky Merlin was there to see it, I never would have recognised it and the requirements to break it are quite specific."
Arthur chuckled. Of course Merlin had saved his life again - when he lifted the ban on magic and learned the truth of his manservant's power, he hadn't expected to find he already owed the man his life many times over. "So how did you break it, then?" Gaius paused. "Come on, Gaius, I'm not going to care if you used magic."
"It was magic of a kind, Sire." Gaius finally answered, turning away.
Arthur frowned. He wasn't in the mood for cryptic. "What kind of magic?" Gaius turned back to him, his expression unreadable.
"I will tell you, Sire, on one condition. You cannot ask me any further questions about it. We broke no laws but... I have a promise to keep." Well now he had to know; Arthur swung his legs round to face him properly.
"Alright. Tell me."
" Curs add sé aýdlig heorte is meant to punish those with no love in their heart. So the only way to lift it is with true love's kiss."
Arthur stared at him. "True love's kiss? You mean somebody...? Who?!"
That signature eyebrow rose. "Arthur, we agreed no more questions."
"You can't seriously be saying you know who my true love is and won't tell me?"
"That's exactly what I'm saying. I gave my word to neither confirm nor deny anything about who cured you. I'm afraid if you want to know, you'll have to work it out for yourself." Arthur groaned. This was ridiculous! Why would Gaius be so set on keeping his true love and saviour's identity secret?
The door creaked open; Merlin entered, looking strangely on edge. When he spotted Arthur, now wide awake, his eyes widened and his expression flickered with something raw and fragile. But it was gone before Arthur could name it, replaced with his usual bright grin. "All done with your beauty sleep, Sire?" Merlin quipped. Whatever he thought he saw before, he must have been imagining it - clearly Merlin hadn't been too worried.
"Where were you, Merlin? Found something more important than the wellbeing of your king?"
"Well, I had some armour to polish." Merlin's smile spread a little wider; Arthur would have thrown something at him if he had felt strong enough.
"It seems I have more important things to do too. I have a true love to find." He saw Merlin's eyes flick uncertainly to Gaius. "Gaius told me how the curse was broken, but refuses to tell me who I have to thank. So I'm going to find her myself. With your help, obviously." Merlin's face fell. Arthur rose on shaky legs and made his way towards the door, clapping the still silent Merlin on the shoulder as he passed. "Come on, Merlin, we have work to do!"
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Arthur slumped in his chair and sighed. It had been over a week and he was getting nowhere. The few people that had claimed a hand in breaking the curse were clearly lying, and he was running out of ideas to find the truth. Countless messengers sent to spread word through the town, hundreds of letters written to nearby villages looking for clues, and he was still no closer to an answer. He ran a hand through his hair and groaned; this was beginning to look hopeless.
He looked up as his door opened. Merlin entered, not bothering to knock; he smiled as he saw Arthur, but it wasn't his usual grin. It was tight and fleeting, and that bothered him. Merlin had been pretty quiet since this all started, which meant something was very seriously wrong. "Alright, Merlin, what's the matter with you? Spit it out."
"Nothing's the matter." Merlin crossed the room and began making the bed, keeping his back to him.
"Hmm. Then why have you spent the last few days with a face like the back end of a horse?" Merlin stiffened, then carried on - no clever retort, no insubordinate quip. It was unsettling. "You don't need to be such a girl's blouse, Merlin, I'm just teasing."
"I know."
"So... what is it? Come on, don't make me drag it out of you."
Merlin paused, speaking carefully. "It's... watching you try to court half the kingdom isn't exactly fun for me."
Arthur frowned. He hadn't really thought about that. It must be hard to help someone else find their true love when you were alone. "You'll find someone too, Merlin. You're not that bad looking, really." He stood and came out from behind his desk, taking his manservant in. "You're a bit thin, but you're not scrawny. I suppose some people might find your massive ears sort of sweet." Merlin turned to face him. He was watching him with something bright and uncertain in his eyes, something that drew Arthur's focus and held him. He couldn't look away from it, even if he had wanted to. Something stuttered in his chest. "And your eyes are..." The word he wanted drifted teasingly just beyond his reach. "...nice. For a clotpole." Merlin scoffed and looked away. Arthur felt the strange power that had gripped him pass, leaving him giddy.
"That's my word." Merlin replied. He sounded more himself now, that snarky tone back in his voice. Arthur smiled.
"Yes, and it suits you perfectly." Merlin shot him a look and laughed. Chuckling, Arthur headed back over to his desk.
"Why are you so desperate to find this person, Arthur? Can't wait to find a queen and start producing some heirs?"
"You think that's why I'm doing this? I'm a little disappointed that's how you see me, Merlin." He paused, picking one of the letters at random, turning it over and over in his hands. "My whole life I've been told I have to marry for the sake of my kingdom. I never expected to have the luxury of love - I thought, perhaps, with Guinevere... but she belongs with Lancelot. Now I find out I have a true love out there, and she's so close - I can't let this go, Merlin." He sighed, leaning over his desk. "Maybe that makes me selfish. Maybe it makes me a bad king."
"I don't believe that. I think it's noble, to choose your heart over duty. You may be a king - and a good king, at that - but you're still a person. You deserve to be happy." Merlin watched him, his expression sincere.
Arthur nodded. "I appreciate that, Merlin." He flicked through the latest of the letters, all filled with denials of any recent trips to the citadel. All disappointments. "I really thought we'd have found her by now."
"Maybe... maybe you're looking in the wrong place." Merlin sounded hesitant. He glanced at Arthur with something unreadable in his eyes, then looked away. "Arthur, there's something I think I have to just tell you -"
A loud knocking interrupted him. Arthur turned and glared at the door. "Come in!" The door creaked open and a guard entered, bowing briskly before he spoke.
"Excuse me, Sire, but a woman has arrived claiming to be the lady you're looking for. She's waiting in the throne room." An increasingly familiar mix of excitement and dread swelled in his chest. He strode towards the door, the guard quickly moving out of his way. Arthur slowed as he passed the man.
"Fetch Gaius as well. Merlin, you can go!" He turned down the hall and let his feet carry him along the familiar path to his throne room. The guards stationed at the entrance flung open the doors as he approached; he slowed his pace and forced his scowl to fade. There was a woman stood before the throne. Her dress was simple, plain and worn; the colour was fading and, even from where he stood, he could see it had been repaired in several places, but it was clean and well looked after. Her dark hair was pinned back from a pale face. He could see she was nervous; her hands were clasped in front of her chest, fidgeting ceaselessly, and her forehead was lined with worry.
Her eyes widened as she looked to him and she dipped a shaky curtsey. "Sire. I am Luella."
Arthur stopped a few feet away, gesturing for her to rise. "I understand you have information about the person who broke the curse I was under?"
"I do, my lord. I..." She paused, glancing up hesitantly from under her long lashes. "I apologise; I should have come forward sooner but..." She trailed off, looking down at her simple dress, a shy blush colouring her cheeks.
"All are welcome in Camelot, my lady, and I extend that to my court." The woman smiled softly in relief; Arthur returned it as best he could, then turned away as the doors behind him opened and Gaius entered.
"Apologies for the wait, Sire," said Gaius, looking rather more annoyed at being summoned for yet another questioning than he did apologetic. He stopped, his hands folded over his stomach. "How can I be of assistance?"
Arthur turned back to the young woman. "Luella, please tell us your story."
She nodded and began, her eyes flickering between the two of them as she spoke: "Well, Sire, I was working in the kitchens the day you were cursed. When we heard, a few of us went up to Gaius' chambers. He told us what was needed to break it, and we wanted to help so we all offered to try." Arthur shot Gaius a look. He nodded almost imperceptibly in reply; it seemed she was telling the truth so far.
She continued. "Gaius waited outside to let us have some privacy. I went last. After I...." Her eyes flew to Arthur then dropped to the floor, her face flushing. "After I kissed you, Sire, I thought nothing was happening. I was going to leave, but then your eyelids fluttered a little and your hands were twitching... I went to fetch Gaius but..."
"But what? Why didn't you tell him what you'd done for me?"
She looked up at him again, uncertainty dancing behind her eyes. "I'm just a servant, Sire. I was afraid you might be unhappy to be tied to someone like me. I wouldn't have come forward now, but when I heard how hard you were looking I decided I had to tell you the truth. I hope it does not displease you."
"Gaius?" Arthur raised his eyebrows at the physician, inviting him to judge.
Gaius frowned. "Well, Sire, I do not know about your response to Luella's attempt to wake you, but the rest does hold true." Gaius almost sounded reluctant to admit it. "Though you did not seem to be stirring when I went to check on you after she left."
"How soon after Luella left did I wake up?"
"Quite soon. Perhaps a few minutes."
"Did anyone else enter your chambers before I woke?"
"Only myself - and Merlin, of course."
"Well, that settles it then." There was no other possibility. He turned to the young woman with a smile, hope and exhilaration blossoming in his chest. "Luella. You are my true love."
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"Arthur! You're back!" Arthur rolled his eyes at Merlin's razor sharp observational skills as he entered his chambers and threw himself into his chair. The last few hours he had spent with Luella had thoroughly killed off his initial excitement; he was tired, and he was fed up. "So? What happened?"
"I found her, Merlin."
"...what?" Arthur craned round in his seat, unable to suppress the smile tugging at his lips at the sight of Merlin's dumbfounded expression. "You found her? How...how could you have found her?"
"The woman who came earlier? It was her. Gaius confirmed it."
"He did?" Merlin paused. "Right. So that's where you've been - off planning the wedding?" There was a bite to Merlin's words that Arthur hadn't heard before. He frowned at him.
"No... No, she suggested we spend some time together so she dragged me down to the market. I spent the whole afternoon there with her. I never knew there were so many different styles of dresses." He groaned at the memory of her wittering on about necklines and hems. He snuck a glance at Merlin; if the scowl on his face didn't give away his mood, the amount of violence he was folding his shirts with certainly did. Arthur stood and walked over to him, digging a hand into his pocket and pulling out a small package. "Here, I got you this."
Merlin frowned, then reached out hesitantly. Arthur watched as he opened the package, barely able to suppress his grin at Merlin's surprise when he saw its contents. Nestled in the wrapping in Merlin's hands lay a folded square of scarlet silk, the edges trimmed in gold. He looked up at him with wide eyes. "Arthur, I can't accept this!"
"Just shut up and take it, Merlin. Consider it a token of appreciation for helping with my search."
Merlin's answering smile lit up his whole face, making him seem to glow from within, like he had captured the sun under his skin. "Thank you, Arthur. This is perfect." He chuckled softly as he looked down at the neckerchief, running his thumb over the soft fabric, and Arthur realised with a start that he was staring. Clearing his throat, he looked away.
"Well you've been wearing the same one for years and it's falling apart. It's hardly suitable for the king's manservant." He moved away, back towards the table and away from Merlin's weirdly distracting smile. "You should wear it tomorrow night. Can't have you embarrassing me in front of Luella."
"What's happening tomorrow night?" Merlin asked uneasily.
"She's dining with me." Arthur threw himself back into his chair with a sigh. "She wanted to spend the whole day together but I told her I had training - which reminds me, Merlin, I need you to arrange a training session with the knights for tomorrow."
"You can't be serious! Arthur, come on. Do you honestly believe this woman you are lying to get away from is your true love?"
"It's...complicated. We're still getting to know each other. These things can take time."
Arthur could practically hear Merlin's eyebrow rise as he spoke. "Time isn't going to turn someone who does nothing but annoy you into your true love."
"It helped me put up with you," Arthur countered with a smirk.
"I didn't annoy you, I just stood up to you. I challenged you. And even then you could still manage a full day with me without running away! Believe me, Arthur, this is not what love looks like."
"Like you're such an expert!" he scoffed.
"I know more than you think." Merlin sighed, so softly it was almost lost under the noise of the crackling fire and the creaking of Arthur's chair as he shifted. "The person you love should be... someone who truly sees you for who you are. When you're with them, it feels like you're home, wherever you are. They're your first thought in the morning and your last thought at night." He chuckled dryly. "You're supposed to miss them when they're not around, not actively try to avoid them!"
Arthur turned in his chair and stared. "Merlin, are you in love with someone?"
Even though Merlin refused to look at him, Arthur could see the blush colouring the tips of his ears. "Yes."
Something twisted in Arthur's chest. It coiled tight around his heart and squeezed insistently. Guilt followed it, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth; he should be happy for Merlin. He was happy for Merlin. He had no reason to feel anything else. "She's a lucky lady." His voice sounded wrong, even to his own ears, falsely bright and hollow.
"Actually I, uh..." Merlin turned back towards him, but still didn't meet his gaze. "I don't feel that way about women."
Arthur blinked. "Oh." How was he supposed to reply to that? "I didn't realise. He's a lucky man."
Merlin finally looked up, but his smile was fleeting and tinged with sadness. "It's not like that. I haven't told him how I feel. And it's looking pretty certain that he doesn't feel the same."
That tightness in Arthur's chest worsened, wringing a reply out of him before even knew what he was going to say. "Well he's a stupid man then." Now it was Merlin's to be left speechless. Arthur's eyes widened as the implications of what he'd said sunk in. "I mean, you obviously love him a great deal. Anyone who doesn't appreciate that kind of feeling is an idiot." He stood and cleared his throat. "It's been a long day. You should get some rest."
"...right. Good night, then," Merlin said as he headed to the door, pausing briefly before he left: "and thank you."
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"Sire? Sire, did you hear me?" Arthur blinked and dragged his attention back to his dining companion. He had not heard her. Whatever it was she had said, though, he was fairly sure it wasn't anything important; she hadn't had a single interesting thing to say from the moment she'd sat down. Nor had she asked him a single question, which had made it far too easy for Arthur to lose his focus, instead spending the last hour wondering what was eating Merlin. He had been in a sour mood all evening, barely making eye contact, being the perfect obedient servant. It was weird.
"My apologies, I'm just worn out from training." Out of the corner of his eye he saw Merlin's eyebrow twitch. "Go on."
Luella smiled. "I was just talking about my home. I live in the lower town, you see. The weather this last winter was so harsh... I was afraid I wouldn't see spring!" She stopped, pressing a delicate hand to her chest and dabbing a handkerchief to the corner of her eye. "But perhaps, my Lord, if there was a chance you could find room for me here in the castle, I -"
A crash cut her off. The tray Merlin had been carrying was now on the floor, the remains of their last course scattered all around it; tomato juice was splattered across the stonework, and a stray chicken bone was quickly rolling away under the table. "I'm so sorry!" Merlin ducked under the table, chasing the fleeing bone. "Please forgive me, I - ow!" The table jolted sharply and Luella's goblet tipped over. Arthur could hear Merlin mutter something as it fell, but Luella's cry of surprise buried the words.
Merlin crawled out from under the table, rubbing the back of his head and wincing. "Please allow me to apologise for my servant," said Arthur. Merlin seemed completely oblivious to the pointed look he shot him and instead began clearing up the remaining mess. "I, uh, I didn't realise the conditions in the lower town were so poor."
"They're not really, I just want to live in a castle!" Arthur stared at her; she looked almost as shocked as he felt. "I - I'm so sorry, my Lord, I didn't mean to say that!"
It took a few moments for Arthur to find his voice. He took a swig from his goblet as his initial surprise faded, then spoke. "So you lied to me before?"
"Which time? I've lied to you a lot." She gasped, her hand flying to her mouth as she flushed bright red. Arthur overcame his shock much more quickly this time - fast enough to catch the faint smirk on Merlin's lips before he could wipe it away.
"Really? What else have you lied about?"
"Well, I don't really care about getting to know you, I didn't break your curse and I don't think it's sweet how much you care about your servant, I think it's strange - oh, and I actually hate red, it's such a violent colour -" she finally managed to cut herself off with a choked sob.
"... I see. I think you should leave now, before you say anything else you don't mean to." Luella rose, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks, and fled. Merlin crossed the room and calmly closed the door behind her. He returned to the table and began clearing up her plates, a faint smile teasing at his lips. "Merlin... what did you do?"
Merlin looked at him and blinked innocently. "What do you mean?"
"You did something to her!" Arthur stood and walked around the table towards him, his steps slow and purposeful. "You said something when you were under the table and then she changed. What was it - did you cast some sort of truth spell on her?"
Merlin stared at him for a moment. "Are you -! That bit? That bit you figured out?! Not -?!" He cut himself off abruptly with a harsh laugh and turned away.
"You had no right to get involved in this."
"I was just trying to help!" Merlin folded his arms defensively.
"I don't need help! I would have found the truth out on my own." Arthur felt his temper flare as Merlin scoffed.
"Really? You were about to move her into the castle, Arthur! Someone had to do something or you would have been married by the end of the week!"
Arthur rolled his eyes. "I was not about to move her in, Merlin. I was still getting to know her."
"It took less than a day for you to start lying to get away from her - how much more do you need to know?!" Merlin's defiant glare only stoked the fire in his gut.
"You can't always judge a person that quickly! You annoyed the hell out of me and now you're the person I trust most in the world. And you're supposed to trust me too!"
"I'm also supposed to protect you, Arthur - which I do, from everything! Including yourself when you decide to be a clotpole and start a relationship with an obvious liar." Merlin's nostrils flared, betraying the frustration behind his sarcasm, but Arthur wasn't in the mood to hold back.
"My relationships have nothing to do with you. I don't need you to save me." Merlin flinched. Arthur instantly wished he could take it back; guilt swirled through him, turning his insides to lead.
"...You're more angry that I ruined your perfect little happy ending than that she lied to trick you. Because that's all that matters, isn't it? You don't care if it's real."
He knew he shouldn't get angry, but the idea that Merlin thought of him like that made something sharp twist in his gut and he didn't know any other way to release the pressure. "How the hell am I supposed to find something real when my servant ruins every possibility the moment it gets difficult?!" Merlin pulled back; Arthur's arm shot out on instinct and grabbed his shoulder, holding him in place. Their eyes met, blue gazing into blue. Something softened inside him. "Tell me, Merlin. What do I do now? Because I have no idea where to look anymore."
"...No, you don't." Merlin reached up and removed Arthur's hand from his shoulder. "I'm going to clean up this mess." He paused, searching for something in Arthur's eyes. He wished he knew what it was; he would show him if he could. "I can't help you with this one, Arthur. Figure it out." With that, he turned and walked away.
As he left, so did Arthur's surge of adrenaline, leaving nothing but exhaustion and regret in its wake. He crossed to the abandoned table and sank onto a chair. "Figure it out." He'd been trying to do that for weeks and he was still just as lost as when he first started. How could Merlin just refuse to help him? He groaned. Not that he could blame him - not after the way he'd reacted when he'd treated him.
"Figure it out." Fine. That's what he would do then. Arthur rose and began to pace. If Luella hadn't really been the one to wake him, and Gaius said he was still unconscious after she left, then it had to have been someone who went in after her. But Gaius had also said the only ones to see him after Luella had been himself and Merlin. Arthur frowned. That couldn't be right. No, someone else must have snuck in - because, if not, then that meant...the most likely person would be Merlin.
He stopped. That was ridiculous! There was no way Merlin was his true love. After all, how had he described the person you love? Your first thought in the morning and your last thought at night? Alright, so Merlin was generally his first thought in the morning - but that was only because he was the one waking him up! And yes, if he really considered it, he was often thinking about Merlin before he fell asleep. But that didn't mean anything. None of the rest of it applied!
Arthur strode back to the table and downed the last of his wine. Of course he wasn't in love with Merlin. He cared about him, but that wasn't the same thing. He enjoyed his company, more than he'd ever admit to his face and sure, it could get kind of lonely when he was off doing chores for Gaius. And yes, Merlin understood him in ways no one else ever had - perhaps even knew him better than he knew himself. But that was what made him a friend!
A very dear friend, if he thought about it. In fact, he was probably the most important person Arthur had in his life. All of his happiest memories were of times with Merlin. On the rare days he didn't see him, nothing ever seemed quite right - everything felt flatter and emptier. Merlin was his advisor and his confidante, his hope and his strength. He would sacrifice himself a hundred times over to protect him, without a second thought.
And when Arthur tried to imagine the person who had woken him, in his heart of hearts he knew the only thing he could picture - would ever be able to picture - was that brilliant smile and those beautiful blue eyes gazing down at him. Because it was him. The one who had saved him, the one he loved, was -
"Merlin."
He stood in the doorway, broom in hand, staring back at him. "Arthur." His heart faltered. Arthur walked around the table and across the room as Merlin closed the door behind him. He barely registered his confused frown before he was on him, pushing him against the woodwork and pressing their lips together. Merlin gasped beneath his mouth. Then the broom was clattering to the floor and Merlin's hands were in his hair and he was kissing him back and by the gods, how had he lived before this?
Eventually they broke apart, both needing to catch their breath. "Does... does that mean you figured it out, then?" Merlin panted. Arthur's brain couldn't quite figure out how to form words just yet; he nodded in reply. Merlin grinned. "Took you long enough."
"Sorry for the wait," he murmured, brushing against his lips again. Merlin sighed happily.
"Worth it." Arthur smiled; he couldn't agree more. He leant in and kissed him again, soft and sweet, every touch sending waves of bliss rippling through him. Merlin wrapped his arms around his neck and drew him closer, pressing up against him. He could gladly have spent the rest of his life in that moment, wrapped up in Merlin, but forced himself to pull away after a minute. Merlin groaned his disappointment.
"Why didn't you just tell me?" Arthur asked. He felt a sudden rush of affection at the familiar sight of Merlin's rising eyebrow.
"You really think you would have believed me? It's not exactly the happy ending you were expecting."
"No, it's not," he replied. He reached up and brushed the pad of his thumb along Merlin's cheekbone, smiling softly. "It's going to be so much better."