Work Text:
Yawn.
The moon shined down on me as I walked home. Something was eerily familiar about the night setting, but I’m an adult now, and a powerful one at that. I have more control over situations like Shido’s now more than ever.
Or, at least I would, if I wasn’t absolutely exhausted.
Work had been tough today. Piles and piles of papers, a thousand calls every hour, my posture was still bent and incorrect making my back ache horribly (something my wife was now more than ever critical of) and worst of all there was still more work to be done. A serious proposition was given to me regarding the Diet’s future, and although it was eight o’ clock at night and I had already worked a long overtime, I knew it wasn’t over.
With an empty stomach and fluttering eyes I adjusted my glasses, slipped my hands into pockets with my bag wrapped around my shoulders, heavy with papers and digging into me, and sighed.
This is gonna be a long night.
Of course before I started his overtime shift I called my wife, Makoto Niijima, to ensure she was alright. Her job as police commissioner made me both thrilled that she had finally achieved her dream and terrified of the risks. She was 27 and still in the prime of her life, but at the same time the job was so dangerous that I knew one of these days I’d end up regretting her ever making it this high up on the podium. Alas, it made her happy. It would have made her father a happy man too.
I smiled despite the shooting pain in my shoulder. She was so understanding when I told her I’d be home later, but.. There was something in her voice. Something tired. I ignored it, blaming it on my own god awful tension.
The last thing I need to do is drag Makoto down with me.
Funnily enough, there were days where I thought the opposite. There were days where I would sit in my office, free from any work for the time being, and his mind would wander; ‘How is she?’ ‘I hope she’s not hurt.’ ‘What if she pissed off the wrong guy today?’ ‘When will she come around to the idea of having kids..?’ It was on days like these I was happy to have a coworker as nurturing and wise as Yoshida-san, who immediately noticed my tense, spaced out expression and gave me a small bit of work to do and a cup of coffee. Sometimes the work wasn’t even related to politics - it was a crossword or a trivia magazine. It was the little things.
Too bad he wasn’t here today. Too bad I couldn’t block out those thoughts with work today, either.
And then there were my friends. Lately, I’ve gotten too busy to visit them - hell who am I kidding, we’re all too busy - and so my only real contact with them was over text or on the phone, unless on some miracle day we were all free. My closest friends, Yusuke, Ryuji and Morgana were usually available, especially Yusuke with his freelance career, but all of the women in his life had become consumed by obligations.
Take Haru for example. She’s adopted two children with her husband, a guy I have still yet to meet properly outside of the wedding reception and she works constantly, surveying different cafes and restaurants around Japan and the rest of the world. She never has time, and the time she does have is spent with her family. It’s unfortunate, but we understand. Then there’s Futaba, who not only had two cats to take care of alongside Morgana with Yusuke, but also was a freelance programmer making new coding discoveries everyday. At least Ann had more time on her hands, even if she did have two kids.
The thought of having children with Makoto had been something I thought of occasionally, especially around my birthday as I got closer and closer to thirty, but it was completely off the table for Makoto. If she had children, she couldn’t bear to think about what would happen if she perished while on the line of duty, like her dad. It wasn’t fair, but I knew I had to respect her wishes. Sae told her at one point not to worry about it - that even if she did die, Sae and I would be there for her kids. Unfortunately, like her dad, she was stubborn.
Shaking away these thoughts that slowly consumed any part of my head that still had energy to spare like a decay disease, I took out my keys from my pocket and unlocked the door to the house. It was a small place, one bathroom, two bedrooms and a quaint kitchen. You might as well call it an apartment with stairs considering how small it was. The bedrooms were upstairs as well as the bathroom, while the kitchen, dining room (which was basically just a table and chairs next to the kitchen) and living room were downstairs. A simple place so they wouldn’t spend too much time cleaning it.
Knowing she’d probably be exhausted as well, I closed the door carefully. My theory was proven wrong when I heard the shower running, but could also hear the smell of food from the kitchen. My stomach gurgled. Removing his shoes and bag, he walked to the kitchen to find the source: a plate of homemade curry, a signature of their family unit, was wrapped up in plastic at the counter. Next to it, a small yellow sticky note.
“ Welcome home! I hope you enjoy it.”
God I love this woman.
I took my plate and unwrapped it. Heat rose up to my face, filling my nose with the heavenly scent of my wife’s cooking. Sure, usually it was me who made meals for the both of us, but that didn’t stop Makoto from writing down every recipe I produced, and it certainly didn’t stop her from watching every time I made something new. I washed my hands of my workplace germs before scooping up the plate, then walked into the living room and sat down on the couch, grabbing my laptop. The next half hour was spent clicking away at the keyboard of my computer, finishing up paperwork and replying to emails. By the time I was done the bathroom door opened and my study partner walked out, clad in a towel.
“Oh, Ren. I didn’t realize you were home.” Her soft voice filled my ears and my heart. Just what I needed.
I looked at her with a tired smile. “Hey, Makoto.” then turned back around to finish my work, leaning forward with the computer laid out on the coffee table. She snuck up behind me and strummed my black, curly hair with delicate red fingers, the same color as her eyes. I suspected she got the nail color from her last girls day out with Eiko, Ann and Shiho. She didn’t usually paint them at all. “Mm..” I purred underneath her hand, rubbing my eyes under my glasses. “Makoto.. I need to focus.”
I could feel her lips forming a frown. “You already worked overtime. Was it that busy today?”
“You have no idea..” clickety click clack..
She watched him type, noticing his movements slow as she scratched his messy scalp with those perfectly cut nails. I would be purring soon if she didn’t let up.. Morgana would laugh at me if he were still living here.
“So.. come on. Let me run you a bath.” I shook my head, blinking to focus more on the screen.
“No, no, babe just.. go to bed. You have work tomorrow, need I remind?” I turned my head to look up at her. She didn’t seem convinced.
“No, you don’t, but so do you. Maybe you should get some rest. Besides, what about your back?” I turned back and continued my work. Her eyes landed on the empty plate of curry on the table and scooped it up. “Did I do good? I think it came out quite well.”
“Mhm, it was delicious. Just like father Sojiro used to make.” I remarked playfully, eyes flickering open and shut. She left to go wash it, most likely. I could hear her feet slap against the wood floor until she was back in the bathroom, the sound of footsteps replaced with the valve of the shower creaking and the water from the head splashing against the floor of our shower-bath. I closed my laptop, following the noise with his hands in my work pants pockets. “Makoto, really, I can run my own bath.”
“Ren, take it easy. Just take a bath and you can get back to work.” Her towel covered every inch of her body neatly, barely leaving an inch to look through, not a bit of cleavage or thigh exposed. Disappointing. Jokes aside, I decided to give up and go along with her gift.
“Alright, alright. Let me get-”
“Your pajamas? They’re right here.” She pointed at the wall, where my pajamas hung from a hanger, blue with white stripes. I took off my glasses, rolling my eyes.
“Always prepared, hm?”
“Always.” She nodded gracefully, eyes closed smugly. She began to undo my tie. I wrapped her neck around my arm and scooped her head into my neck. “Ack- hey!” She laughed, continuing to prove both her beauty and focus as she stripped the tie from my body and tossed it aside, while I layered kiss after kiss on her still wet chestnut hair. She smelled so good, not like a bottle of perfume like half of the girls at work or Shujin, just the scent of a mature woman who had a deep passion for lavender scents (thanks, Sae for the underwhelming anniversary present, but thanks Sae for the anniversary present anyways.)
“Do you have to undress me too?”
“Ren, we’re married. Are you really shy I’ll see you nude?” She smirked a smirk you only get from being close to me for copious amounts of time. I’m like a scuff mark; I rub off on people and only go away if you wash your hands of me completely.
“Oh definitely not. I would have guessed you’d be shy though~” She stopped mid removal of my overshirt, peeking up at me with a raised brow.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Ah, ah, ah, there it is. That crimson blush that reflects your eyes perfectly, the one you get when you know I’m right.” My exhausted tone became a lot more sensual. I took her chin in my hand, stroking her left apple colored cheek with my thumb. She focused on my shirt quietly.
She hesitated to pull the hem of my shirt up.“Where was this energy last week?” Her voice.. It was the same as earlier when I called her about staying later at work. So I wasn’t just hearing things.
I decided to play it cool, stroking her bare arms. “At the gym, with Ryuji.” She looked back into my eyes. She gave a half smile to acknowledge my half joke but couldn’t keep it.
Her cheek pressed against my chest, arms wrapping around my waist. “I’d like some more of it directed at me, please.”
“Huh..?”
She turned off the bath, the tub mostly full anyways before fully removing my shirt and discarding it. “..I mean, it seems as of late that we’ve been more distant to each other. You’re always at work, I’m always at work, and when we’re not you’re working at home to make me happy or hanging out with coworkers or doing more paperwork on your computer.”
I held her forearms securely. “Makoto.. I have to do those things to support us. I need to keep up with my obligations or else I won’t have this job, and then I won’t be able to support us.”
“I understand that, but you of all people should know that you can achieve a balance if you search for it. You had overtime today and still came home to do even more work. Don’t you see the issue with that?”
“Well, I mean.. I guess. But I’d rather be doing work than blowing steam at a bar or something.
“You don’t have to do anything. I just want you to spend less time working and more time for yourself. Look at your eyes. I haven’t seen them that baggy since…” She trailed off and shook her head. We both knew what she meant.
She’s right though. I always feel obligated to complete things way before they’re due, to help everyone in need even with something as simple as paperwork. I had been neglecting my wife for far too long. “I’m sorry, babe-”
“No, no, please, don’t apologize. You’ve done nothing wrong, I mean that. I just want you to let loose a little bit more. When was the last time we went on a real date, Ren..? I miss that. The last time we cuddled on the couch and watched movies together, the last time we babysat for the Sakomoto children? It feels like I only see you when you’re deep in labor.”
I was at a loss for words. Makoto, spilling her guts out to me? I was proud of her. Ten years ago and it would have been the other way around. But then there was the mention of Ryuji’s children. We were official godparents to my best friend's kids, but she wouldn’t even consider having them herself. It’s not fair. So many conflicting emotions. I wanted to hold her and tell her she had me back, as relaxed as ever, but I also wanted to tell her how she had hurt me. How her neglect of my needs had made me frustrated, how her selfish dream had made it impossible for me to ever see her as anything more than the girlfriend I love dearly. I’d never get to see her maternal side, I’d never get to experience my own selfish fantasy and worst of all I felt like a total piece of shit listing these things in my head. I realize I’m rambling.
“I’m still sorry, Makoto. You deserve better. I’m gonna try to free up my schedule for you.” My smile was completely earnest, as was the long kiss that followed. I was telling the truth, but I had no idea how long this proposition would last. If someone had a request, I’d help them with it. Makoto takes priority over most people, but my tendency to assist those in need wouldn’t stay dormant. The satisfaction of assisting others was an addiction at this point. I could only hope and pray silently that the Metaverse may one day reopen. No one could ever know, I’d never be able to form a team like the Phantom Thieves again..
But life would still be far more interesting with the magical ability to change a person's heart with the slash of a knife or the call of the mask.