Chapter Text
“How about this one?”
Techno groans as the green teletubby shoves his phone into his face, featuring another job. He doesn’t want to do the damn jobs today, Jesus Fucking Christ On A Stick, was the first… oh, fifteen times or so he’s yelled this fact not clear enough?
“They’re all boring, Dream.”
Dream— Daydream was his codename but that’s way too long— rolls his eyes, mask off for now. “Hey. This one is from… uh…” the man squints at the screen, then perks up, “All For One, though! And specifically for us! And it’s to mess with little kids!”
Huh. That’s new. A legend in the underworld, one even older than them, approaching for a favour?
“What’s he got?”
“Attacking… UA, I think. Class 1A. All Might teaches there, they want to kill him.”
Techno’s lips twitch down. All Might, number one extraordinaire, the one they keep evading and ending up on the news because of it, and also, to his knowledge, one of the rare ones that want to help for the sake of helping. “Isn’t he, like, one of the good ones?”
“Then why don’t you interfere with the murder thingy? Plus, we get paid! A lot! No more boring jobs for at least ten months!”
Techno squints, focusing on the screen now, and his eyes widen minimally.
“…oh.”
The reward money is ten million yen for… taking out the heroes. Fifteen, if All Might dies. Hmm, actually… wait, he needs to.. uh, reconsider a bit... hm...
“Okay, then. Ping him.”
Dream grins like a child, starting to tap on the screen. “Gotcha!”
“Why do I feel like I’ve just stepped into some kind of trap?”
Dream just laughs ominously.
…
“So… you want us… the best mercenaries in this world… to distract a bunch of high schoolers and second-rates while you kill All Might with that Nomu-thing.”
Hand-guy nods like this is perfectly logical.
Wow. Just. Wow. Uh-huh. Okay. Just. Yay. Go ahead. Do that. Goddamn.
(Secretly, he's kinda relieved that he doesn't have to kill the guy. He doesn't really deserve to die, just see why punching people through buildings is a bad idea. The buildings are there for a reason, and most of the time it's because people live in them, for god's sake)
“Bruhhh.”
Dream bumps against his shoulder, clearly intending for him to shut the fuck up so they can get the money. “Shush, Bacon. Yeah, we’ll do it if you pay us enough, you know our drill.”
He opens his mouth to talk, and instantly feels Dream give him that warning look which means “if a single sound comes out of your mouth, I will gut you like a fish”.
Hands might be grinning. He doesn’t know, with the withered hand covering his face, but he’s pretty sure the dude’s grinning. He looks pretty maniacal in that, actually. Would be a good villain if he wasn't so intent on being so fucking stupid.
“Excellent!”
…
Izuku POV
“Huh, would you look at that.”
He whips around to see a… man in a green hoodie and a smiley mask?
"Who are you?" he yells, getting in a fighting stance.
The man tilts his head slightly, completely unfazed. "Oh, just a mercenary."
There's a... a... was that a sonic boom? Was that the mercenary-- no, villain, villain-- 's quirk? Sonic speed?
"And I can go super fast," the same green man says happily, now standing in front of him again, and hauls a bunch of people, seemingly tied to a string that's tied to a stick... wait. Wait. Is that a fishing rod, what the hell-- over the ship's edge.
Mineta lets out a squeak behind him. "Those... those are..."
He looks behind the man, and with a start, finds his classmates tied up and unconscious.
"Kacchan!" he yells, and glares at the villain. "What did you do!?"
'Oh, I knocked them out," the masked man says, waving a hand dismissively, "now..."
All three of them back away in fear, as the villain stalks closer.
"I'm gonna have a little break," the man announces happily, and promptly drops onto the floor, crossing his legs.
"What?" he blurts at the same time with Tsuyu and Mineta.
"You're not gonna hurt us, kero?" Tsuyu questions, and the green-clad man actually laughs.
Shaking his head, he says cheerfully, "heavens, no, I wasn't paid for that kind of thing, but if you try to leave my line of sight, I will beat you to within an inch of your lives," and all three of them freeze.
"Why should we trust a villain?" Mineta whispers to him, and he's just about to respond when the villain interrupts.
"Because you're all little children, and I'm much more experienced. I don't kill if it isn't necessary, and as long as you make sure that you don't violate my terms, we're cool. Also because you don't have a damn choice. I am the big bad, after all. Now, if you don't mind me, I think I'm gonna--"
"Land ahoy," comes a deadpan voice.
The villain instantly perks up at the voice, turning just as somebody else hauls themselves over the edge of the ship.
"Techie!"
"Yes, hello," says the man-- wait, no, not man, more like a... a hybrid? Yes, a man with a mutant pig quirk, in a king's clothes, currently sitting on the floor of the ship, looking very unimpressed, and holy shit is that real gold in his crown-- "that is indeed me, Techie the blood god."
"So, is it time to leave?" the masked man asks eagerly, and the mutant sighs before saying: "Yeah, I asked hand guy."
With a whoop, the green-clad man strides forward eagerly, and they vanish in a cloud of purple particles.
"What the fuck," Mineta says, and Izuku, for once, can't find the heart in him to disagree.
...
"Are you sure, Midoriya-kun?"
He nods, completely sure. "A man in a green hoodie and a smiling mask, and a pig mutant dressed as a king."
The detective, Tsukauchi-san, sighs as he rubs at his temples.
"Sir?" he says worriedly, but is waved off.
"I'm alright, it's just that... those two are part of the Anarchy Trio, have you heard of them?"
Hesitantly, he shakes his head. "N-no, sir."
"Okay. Now, they are very, very dangerous people, alright? For the right price, they can and will do anything that isn't listed as immoral to them, and they have a very twisted moral compass. Murder is a small thing to them. They're not... not villains, exactly, but if you ever meet them at a scene, do not engage. Simply run. You're lucky you got off so lightly."
He shudders. Tsukauchi-san is right, he did get off very lightly for a villain encounter. Then again, the masked man had said that they weren't paid to beat up the UA students... mercenaries, probably. "Yes, sir."
...
Dream’s POV
“Hey! Wil! Phil!”
Wilbur’s fluffy brown hair pops up from the sofa. “You’re on the news.”
“Oh, seriously?”
Getting a small running start, he vaults onto the couch.
Techno snorts, coming around the sofa and plopping down next to them. “Show-off.”
“Oh, come on, Bacon.”
“The USJ attack also featured high-profile villains Daydream and Technoblade…”
“We’re mercenaries!” Dream says offendedly, starting to sit upright, “seriously, can they stop with the villain thing? I help little old ladies with their cats!”
Wilbur digs his knuckles into blond hair, and he squawks, falling back down. “You’re too soft, that’s what.”
“But I agree with the Teletubby,” Techno says, “we’re more vigilante-style mercenaries. Well, you are. We’re both just mercenaries.”
“I’m not soft!”
“You told me I couldn’t yeet the kids.”
“Because it’s needlessly mean, Techno—“
“HAH!” the brunette and pinkette yell at the same time, and Dream flushes under the mask.
“You bastards!”
“Oh, come on, ditch the mask, I wanna see you get offended,” Wilbur teases, and earns himself a swipe that he barely dodges.
“I hate you guys,” Dream grumbles, taking the mask off anyway, because he's a nice person out of work, thank you very much, revealing emerald-green, slitted eyes, along with black-purple scales scattered on his face.
Wilbur sniffs. “Those were my feelings, Dreamie.”
“Fuck you and your feelings!”
“That’s mean—“
“Where’s Phil, anyway?” Techno asks before Dream can flick the claws out and maul Wilbur.
“Out for groceries,” Wilbur answers flippantly, casually catching a hand with extended claws from Dream, “I would do it, but he told me to stop terrorising the cashier.”
“The cashier’s nice!” Dream protests, sitting up now, “his name’s Akio, and he’s twenty! He has two siblings, a ten-year-old and a fifteen-year-old that he’s raising!”
“Wait, is he who you gave twenty thousand to in that back alley?”
Dream blushes, again. “Maybe. Maybe not, how could you know?”
Techno snorts, punching his shoulder. “Nerd.”
“You should just change your title to Masked Vigilante,” Wilbur adds, a shit-eating grin on his face.
“You two fuckers—“
“Alright, which one of you feral fucks gave the cashier twenty thousand yen?” comes a tired voice from behind them, and they all jump before whirling around.
“It was him!” Wilbur and Techno yell at the same time, pointing at Dream, and he sputters. “Betrayal!”
Philza Minecraft sets the bags on the table, sighing in exasperation. “It’s almost like you want to get caught.”
“Hey, he’s quirkless. Wouldn’t be able to beat me.”
“You’re arrogant, Dream,” Phil says, heading over to their open kitchen to wash his hands, “he could call the heroes on you.”
“Eh. 10 Mach is pretty fast, Edgeshot maxes at 1.5, Hawks can’t even hit 1. Can't touch this ass."
"Like anyone would want to," Wilbur says, shit-eating grin on his face, and Dream really does swipe at him this time, and lands a solid hit that earns him a yelp of pain.
Techno sniffs, standing up. “I’m gonna go take a shower. Phil, the money’s in that duffel.”
The hybrid leaves, and Dream sighs, kicking up his legs onto the couch.
“Well, it’s a good haul, at least, isn't it?"
“Yep,” Wilbur agrees, “we can chill for a while."