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Oswald had returned to live in Ed’s apartment after Gallavan had been disposed of. The city-wide manhunt for the penguin was hard to avoid, though it had started to taper off. Edward’s idea of having some of Oswald’s men call in false leads when the GCPD seemed to be getting too close had worked better than either of them could’ve hoped.
It was about a week after everything went down that they decided to try out a relationship. The subject had come up more casually than either Ed or Oswald had been expecting. They’d been eating dinner - some sort of pasta that Oswald couldn’t remember the name of - when it happened.
The Penguin had taken a large bite almost as soon as it had been placed in front of him. It was delicious, as usual. Sometimes he wondered why Ed had chosen to pursue Forensic science instead of becoming a chef.
God, this is delicious is what he had been trying to say, instead, he said “God, I love you.”
Ed had frozen, half lowered into his chair across the table. He quickly regained his composure however. “I…love you too.” He smiled slightly.
Oswald had grinned back and that was that.
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Soon enough, it was Valentine's Day. Ed had never had a valentine before and, to his knowledge, neither had Oswald. He had a vague idea of what people usually did, though he figured that it would be rather difficult to go out to dinner with the most wanted man in Gotham. Sure, it seemed most had given up on the search but Jim Gordon was as annoyingly persistent as ever. The man already seemed suspicious of Edward and Oswald’s ‘friendship’ and them being seen together in public could cost Ed his job and Oswald his freedom.
Despite the fact they were limited only to his apartment, Ed was still determined to make their day as nice as possible for the both of them. Well, their evening, at least. Edward still had to work after all. He was just waiting for the day that Oswald would re-establish his empire and he would be free to leave his job and all his moronic co-workers behind. Sure, his job was interesting, but Oswald had made it clear that he wanted Ed’s help in ruining the city and, well, who was he to turn down his boyfriend's generous offer?
Boyfriend.
That word still brought a smile to Ed’s face. Oswald was his boyfriend. He was Oswald’s boyfriend. The thought made him feel almost giddy. His thoughts of Oswald were soon interrupted, however, by the entry of Detectives Gordon and Bullock into the lab.
Ed startled slightly as he heard the door open, having not been expecting company. He spun around as they approached the table he’d been working at.
“Detectives! What can I do for you?” Both his voice and smile full of false cheer. He’d been in a good mood.
“Hey, Ed, just here to check up on the fingerprints from the Cain case, find anything?”
“Only a few partials, with no match found in the system, sorry.”
“Great.” Bullock groaned. “Another dead end, just what we need.”
“Can you run them again? Just to make sure.” Jim asked, ever diligent.
“Sure.” Ed smiled, only scowling as he turned away to run the prints again. How dare Jim question his word? That irritating son of a-
The computer in front of him let out a noise to indicate it had finished searching the GCPD’s database.
“Nope, still nothing. Sorry.” he gave an apologetic shrug, not sorry at all.
Jim sighed, shifting to look at the computer himself. “Really, nothing at all?”
“Absolutely zilch.” Edward’s patience was starting to wear thin.
“C’mon, Jim, you can waste your time checking tomorrow, aren’t you having dinner with Lee tonight anyways?”
Jim pulled away from the screen reluctantly. “Yeah, we’re tying out that new Italian place over in the diamond district. Figured it would be nice for Valentine’s.” He glanced at Ed “oh, sorry.”
Edward looked up from where he’d been mindlessly scrolling through the database. “Huh?”
“Miss Kringle’s still missing. Probably a bit insensitive to bring up Valentine’s…”
Oh, right. Edward was mildly surprised that Jim had thought to apologize, Lee must be rubbing off on him. Ed put on his best ‘I-miss-my-girlfiend-and-am-definetly-not-dating-a-wanted-criminal face. “S’okay, enjoy your date, detective.”
Jim gave him an odd look before nodding and turning to follow Bullock, who was already out the door. Shit. his response must’ve come off as suspiciously dismissive. Well, no matter. He could worry about that later. Right now, he had more important matters to concern himself with, such as what he was going to cook for his boyfriend tonight.
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As boring as Oswald found staying in Edward’s apartment all day, he was aware he’d find being locked up in Arkham or Blackgate infinitely more dull. So, for now, he stayed put. Besides, being able to spend so much time with Ed was far from the worst thing in the world, in fact he’d probably go as far as to say it was one of the best, not that he’d ever admit that to anyone but Edward himself. God help them if it got out that the Penguin cared for anyone other than himself. He’d already lost his mother and he was not about to lose his one true love.
Oswald glanced over to the clock mounted on the wall. Quarter past five. Edward usually got home at around ten past six. It was time to put his plan into action. Oswald couldn’t cook to save his life, but he was a very determined individual. He was semi-certain that he could make something edible, besides, if all else failed, they could always order a Chinese, though that might be slightly underwhelming for Valentine’s day, he supposed. Edward deserved nothing but the best and if he burnt the entire apartment building down to make it then so be it.
He made his way over to the kitchenette and began to rummage around in the cupboards, bracing himself against the countertop to avoid falling over as he leaned down. Finally, he emerged with what he’d been looking for: A bag of dried pasta. He’d seen Edward use this type (Cappelletti, whatever that meant) before and he remembered how nice it had been. Or maybe that was just because his boyfriend had made it, he wasn’t sure.
He dumped the bag onto the counter before making his way over to the fridge. He wasn’t entirely sure what sauce he was supposed to use and he sure as hell wasn’t competent (or patient) to make his own like Ed did. After a second of deliberation, he grabbed the jar that looked the most similar to what he imagined a pasta sauce to look like and placed it next to the pasta. He found a suitably sized pan for it all and moved to place it on the hob before remembering that he needed water if he actually wanted the pasta to cook instead of just burn.
Once the pan was on the hob (water included), Oswald put in the pasta, pouring it out of the bag until it looked like it should be enough. Then, he just…stood there, not really sure what to do until it was cooked.
He wandered his way over to the bookshelf, figuring that reading wasn’t the worst use of his time. Most of the books Edward owned were painfully factual and Oswald wasn’t quite bored enough to read any of those. He finally settled on some Edgar Allan Poe. Again. He must've read it about a thousand times since he’d started staying with Ed, but anything would be more enjoyable that whatever scientific nonsense was in any of the other books. Poe wasn’t the worst choice by far, he supposed.
When it struck five past, Oswald put down his book and made his way back to his pasta. It hadn’t quite boiled over but it had definitely come close. Hastily, he turned off the hob and grabbed some dishes. He scooped the pasta out, hoping the sauce would cover how burnt it looked. Maybe he should’ve stirred it or something. He popped the lid off the sauce jar and poured it onto both bowls of pasta before Moving to place them on the table. He grabbed some wine from out of the fridge and set it down with some glasses before moving to light the candle he’d grabbed from one of the shelves earlier. It wasn’t fancy, by any means but it would have to do.
“Ah, shit.” He let out as he burnt his hand pulling it back from the candle.
“Oswald? Are you okay?”
Edward sounded concerned as he rounded the corner into the kitchenette, immediately making his way over to his boyfriend, grabbing his injured hand.
“Fine, just a small burn.”
Ed still looked concerned but left it at that as he processed what was on the table in front of him.
“Oswald,” He started, “Did you cook?”
“I did. Happy Valentine’s day.”
“Did you know that St. Val-”
“Edward, please, no fun facts while I'm trying to be romantic.”
Edward grinned and kissed him. “I was planning on cooking for you.”
“Well, there's always next year.”
Edward smiled as he sat down, Oswald following suit after pouring them both wine. Ed took a bite out of his pasta.
“How is it?” Oswald asked.
“It’s…edible?” He tried.
Oswald laughed. “Well thank god I didn’t give my boyfriend food poisoning.”
“If you did, I'd make you pay the hospital bill.” Ed joked back.
After a second of silence, Oswald spoke up.
“Should we order Chinese?”
“Oh, absolutely.”