Work Text:
You’d like to start by clarifying that you are not depressed. Yeah, you live in a shitty studio apartment because the rent in this horrible city is insane. Yes, you have a dead-end job with bad pay because no one else will take you. And sure, okay, you’ve been single for god knows how long because you’re “a bummer to be around” and they “really care about you, please consider counseling.”
Oh, God.
Okay so maybe you have a very small, insignificant case of serious Major Depressive Disorder- but was it really that big of a deal? It had been a good day so far! It was beautiful outside with singing birds and blooming flowers, and you had been 100%, completely, whole-heartedly slacking off the whole morning. And the day before that. To be honest, you hadn’t been able to do the bare minimum in months. You weren’t sure why you hadn’t been fired yet. In your defense, you weren’t even entirely sure what receptionists were supposed to do. It probably wasn’t pirating movies and playing solitaire but whatever, it’s the thought that counts.
You were in the middle of looking up whether wanting to blow your brains out over your work desk was a normal healthy person thought when a small pink hand rang the counter bell at an impossibly fast pace. Your ears were still ringing as you peeked over your computer monitor, coming face to face with your coworkers, Pim and Charlie. Do they count as coworkers when you don’t work on the same floor and barely see each other? You had been about to look it up when Pim cleared his throat. Whoops. Busted. You sheepishly scooted away from the computer so you could see them better. “Oh, uhm, sorry. I don’t uh, get a lot of visitors down here. Do you guys… need something?” you muttered, rubbing your neck and praying that they didn’t. It was bad enough being this horrible at such an easy job, you didn’t want others finding out.
Pim took your anti-social behavior in stride, looking at you with an adoration that was more than a little strange considering you had exchanged less than 5 words in the months you’d worked together. “Actually, we’re here to see you! We heard that you’ve been a lil’ down lately, and you work here, so you’re family, and we always take care of family!” Pim exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air with an energy that was giving you a migraine. Charlie seemed unphased by the outburst, taking a sip of coffee as he slipped his phone back into his pocket. “Also, you haven’t been uh, transferring calls up to us which is, y’know, your job. No offense.”
Oh, God. Had it really been that obvious? Pim noticed your mortified expression and waved his hands in worry, trying to catch your attention. “It’s fine, though! Everyone has bad days! We’re here to help!” you rubbed the back of your neck, looking away. On one hand, you were so embarrassed you were heavily considering quitting. On the other, they seemed nice enough. It wouldn’t hurt to try, right? Fuck it. “Okay, sure. Fine. Don’t get too hung up on this, okay? I don’t want to waste more of your guy’s time than necessary.” it was Pim’s turn to look mortified, a dramatic hand against his chest. “Spending time with friends is never a waste of time!”
“So uh, what’s the deal? What’s got you down?” Charlie set the coffee cup on your desk, leaning next to it with one elbow.
“I’m… not sure. I’ve been kinda bummed for so long, I don’t even really know what’s wrong.” you shrugged noncommittally and Charlie rested his head on his hand as he questioned you more. “Well, what do you do to cheer up?” that was… a good question.
Moping around your place for hours on end was probably not the answer they were looking for. You shrugged again and Pim hummed thoughtfully, tapping his fingers against the desk to a song you didn’t recognize. “We’ll just have to try until we find what makes you happy! When I’m feeling blue, I like to go out and help people! Or walk in nature, or-”
“No way man, that’s way too much.” Charlie interrupted, “We gotta start small. Hey, have you seen Rat Boy Genius yet? Great film. We take you there, you’ll be cheered up in no time.” you shook your head and Pim frowned at his friend. “Isn’t that film a little… gruesome?”
“It’s all tasteful. The beheadings are real dignified, really adds to the experience.” Charlie replied with a shrug. Before Pim could respond you cut in. “Why not both? Not like I have plans.” Pim beamed and cheered, grabbing your wrist and pulling you away from your desk.
You weren’t expecting them to go now, but you didn’t even have time to question it as he gleefully pulled you along. “Yay! Super happy best friend fun time!” he dragged you out the door at a speed that felt unsafe, which didn’t help your apprehension. Was this a bad idea?
So, they ended up taking you to a park where you were all chased by a pack of wild birds because Charlie forgot he had a ham sandwich in his back pocket. You then went to watch the movie and had to sit in the lobby with Pim because the blood and guts made him throw up all over your shoes, and finally after dropping you off they accidentally reversed the car into you, sending you to the ER. It was probably one of the most unlucky days of your life, and honestly? You hadn’t had that good of a time in months.
You spent a week in the hospital and they visited you every day, bringing you snacks and different flowers and telling you about their crazy workdays. Pim wrote you so many sweet little notes that by the time you were released you could probably cover a wall of your shitty apartment. Charlie was a bit more lowkey, explaining that vehicular assault runs in his family and he was very, very sorry. You obviously forgave them, on the condition that they took you out again to make up for it. They happily agreed.
For the next few months you hung out with them almost every day, and you honestly couldn’t imagine a life without Pim and Charlie anymore. Picnics in the park, late-night drinking, car rides, amusement parks, and swimming, oh my. They’ve made you smile a hundred times over, yet they were still hanging out with you. Charlie says it was because you’re a relapse risk, but you were starting to think they just liked your company. And for a while, it was great. You all get along just fine, but lately, you noticed that something seems… off. When you were one-on-one it was fine, but whenever all three of you did something together it was tense, usually ending up with them in a fight. Nothing big, but you were getting sick of it. Like today; you had decided to take your lunch in the break room with them and were quickly regretting it.
“I guess, I just don’t see why we can’t go to Daveland? They said they’ve never been and I don’t think they want to spend another night just watching TV at your place.” Pim tried to keep his voice even, but he was picking at his salad in a harsh manner that betrayed his emotions. Charlie scoffed but didn’t glance up from his phone as he argued back. “Because some people don’t want to do big crazy things every single day? Not everyone can be ‘on’ constantly like you.”
“What do- What do you mean by that, ‘on’? How am I always ‘on’?”
“Like you’re just really high-energy and ready-to-go all the time and like yeah that’s cool for you or whatever- but we don’t always want to keep up with that, man.” Pim narrowed his eyes a bit, turning more towards Charlie as you shrank in your seat between them, suddenly becoming very interested in your lunch.
“They never seemed to have a problem with my attitude so I’m not sure why you’re talking for them? You might not be interested in doing things but you should probably let them speak for themself. I just… I don’t know, I feel like it’s a little selfish of you.”
“Yeah yeah yeah, okay, really? Selfish? Now you’re projecting dude.” Charlie dropped his phone on the table with a humorless laugh and Pim frowned, arguing back. “It doesn’t feel fair for you to throw that back in my face. Do you not remember when I dropped everything to take care of you when you got chlamydia-”
“I told you it wasn’t chlamydia, dude! I developed a new strain of UTI after drinking nothing but Mountain Dew for two months, and it’s been confirmed not contagious!” Charlie countered, clearly saying the last part to you. He nervously glanced at you while Pim dropped his fork to cross his arms.
“I’m just saying I doubt you’d do the same for me.” okay, this was insane and you wanted nothing to do with this. They kept arguing and you decided to pack up your lunch, leaving without saying goodbye. Mind your business, just get done and let them cool off. You finished your workday, ignoring all of their attempts to talk to you. You wanted this friendship to work out, you really did, but if they kept fighting like this you were worried that won’t be possible.
You get home and realized this is your first evening truly by yourself in a long time, and it was like your dumb sad brain was free to turn on the ol’ stupid thoughts again. You were starting to worry all this might’ve been your fault. They never seemed to fight this often before they befriended you, and it seemed to be getting worse by the day. Anytime you brought it up they brushed it off, but they clearly knew something you didn’t. You curled up in your bed like a sad little homunculus when your phone went off, Pim’s face popping up as it rings. You groan but still pick it up, answering in an annoyed tone. “Hello?’
“Oh, thank God.” Pim breathed out in relief and you laid back on your bed, sighing. “What do you want?”
“Well, erm, we were worried about you! We felt really bad for fighting like that in front of you and we just wanted to say sorry.” you could hear Charlie say ‘sorry’ at the same time in the background and you smiled slightly. “I don’t like you guys fighting like that.”
“We know.” Pim said sheepishly. You heard some rustling and Charlie spoke up. “We just get all dang carried away and stuff because-”
“We like you!” Pim cut him off. You smiled a bit more, mumbling as you closed your eyes. “Well, I like you guys too.” Charlie groaned a bit.
“No, we like-like you, dude. Like for real.” you paused for a moment, slowly sitting up. “...what?”
“It’s-It’s fine if you don’t like us back, you’re just so great and perfect and wonderful and we felt like it wouldn’t be right to keep it from you any longer. Uhm.. anyway… That’s all.” Pim sounded beyond embarrassed and Charlie sighed. “We’re sorry if this makes everything all awkward ‘n stuff between us man. We get it if you want some space.”
“No, no, not at all, you guys just… caught me off guard,” you leaned against your headboard, mind racing. “-I think I just need some time to think. Is that alright?”
“Yeah, yeah. Of course dude. No worries.” despite Charlie saying that, he sounded uncharacteristically full of worries. Pim stuttered in the background, taking the phone back. “We’re sorry this is so sudden. We just- we really wanted to get it off our chests. Okay. Goodbye. We like you. Bye.” you hung up, then dropped your phone on the bed beside you, covering your face.
What in the fuck were you supposed to do? You didn’t get asked out very often, much less by two people. You kept going over your options in your head, and you weren’t sure you could even choose. Choose neither and you’d have to walk into work every day knowing your two best friends like-liked you and you’d eventually have to quit and live in a cardboard box for the rest of your life. Was both an option? You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have a little crush on both of them, but would they even be interested in that? So, okay, maybe you had to choose between them.
There’s Pim, the nicest guy you’ve ever met and a total sweetheart. He’s cute, attentive, and made you feel appreciated every day. But, God, you really liked Charlie… He’s funny and laid-back and even if he was kinda self-centered he always remembered to bring you your favorite snacks and Jesus this was going to be hard. So, okay. Pros and cons.
Pim was as subtle as the sun, a constant beaming light in your life that surrounded you with warm affection. Maybe a little too much affection, but you were hardly the only one. Pim was full of love and life and couldn’t help trying to spread it to everyone he came across. You had wondered lately why he wasn’t kissing you as often, but after this confession it made sense. Cons? He could be a bit naïve, too idealistic. Charlie was kinda right, sometimes he was too cheerful; completely exhausting your shitty sad brain on bad days.
Charlie? A little self-centered, a little bit of an ego, but he still believed in doing what’s right. On your better days he took you to the gym, saying he read in an article once that endorphins are proven sadness assassins. You asked if he always wears the shirt and Charlie dared you to name an animal cooler, sexier, and more badass than a tiger. You named three; he pretended to be busy picking out weights. Sometimes you needed someone lowkey, someone who didn’t expect anything from you.
Wow. Okay. That barely helped. Your mind ran in circles, re-examining and re-playing every moment of your friendship. One of them had to be the better pick, right? They were so different; how could it be this difficult? After a half-hour of debating, you were thumbing your phone nervously. You knew what you want, but you weren’t sure how to do this. They’d probably understand, sure, but you felt scared shitless. Like a deer in front of a speeding monster truck driven by a critter with a small dick and anger issues. You realized you were stalling and groan dramatically, picking up your phone with hands that were definitely shaking only the normal amount. It felt like an eternity and you almost gave in but- No. No! Absolutely not. You were not going to let your shitty brain stop you from having one good thing in your shitty life. Fuck it. You quickly dialed the number, pressing it against your ear as a large smile split your face. Fuck your brain and fuck your life. You were tired of running away from good things. It rang, and rang, and when he finally answered, you stopped him before he could speak.
“Meet me at the park in five minutes, before I change my mind.”