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The fresh lakeside air feels purifying. It whips by Shadow and takes away on its wings the bullshit and stress that initially prompted this outing. He smiles as he appreciates the sight of their destination, the lake posited below one of the several mountain formations in this area and surrounded by a sea of pine trees. From up here, the campsite is finally within their grasp.
“Whoa! Get a load of that view!” Sonic exclaims as he reaches the top of the hill next to Shadow.
Shadow agrees. It’s breathtaking. The way the trees sway ever so gently when a strong breeze flies by. The way he can just barely see the late afternoon sun reflecting off the lake in brilliant shades of honeyed orange. It makes him all the more hyped to get to the campsite and set up for the weekend. He lets himself feel the excitement, not worrying if Sonic catches some of it too.
He’s about to go back to the car to unload their stuff since they’ll be walking from this point onward when Sonic stops him.
The other hedgehog grins and pulls out his phone with animated stars in his eyes. “I promised Tails I’d take plenty of pics. I know it was a rough start, but we made it!” Yup. Shadow’s excitement definitely spread to Sonic.
And that’s okay.
They position themselves right up against each other with their backs to the view over the railing. Shadow’s never been good with photos, but he does his best to look normal and smile for Tails's sake.
“Say squeeze!” Sonic throws up a cheesy peace sign, and Shadow finds it isn’t too difficult to smile naturally.
One week earlier.
They’ve been doing great ever since Shadow’s empath abilities came to light. Their communication skills are “on point” as Rouge would say. There have been a few bumps here and there, mainly when it comes to Shadow’s instinct to hold everything in, or as Sonic likes to joke, "conceal, don’t feel.”
(Sonic got shoved for that one.)
Still, it’s amazing just what acknowledging the existence of his ability does alone. Coming to terms with the fact that he’s a strange kind of empath means he doesn’t have to keep lying to himself. Oh, it takes time to get to that point, but Sonic helps. Sonic always helps him in his worst moments. And now that he’s opened up to Rouge and Omega about it, they try to help him too. In their own ways. Rouge now knows exactly when Shadow needs to vent about work when he steps into their apartment without him needing to even open his mouth. Omega doesn’t quite get the same “reception” as flesh and blood beings, but his sensors are able to pick up certain biological signs and wavelengths that Shadow emits when his emotions are spreading. The robot seems almost interested in the phenomenon now that he knows what's going on, and he's glad to try to experience Shadow's emotions to the best of his ability. All in all, they’ve been extremely accepting of it, and Shadow couldn’t be more grateful.
The only thing he’d change in his life currently is how he and Sonic have had absolutely no fucking time to themselves lately.
Like last week, when he and Sonic were about to settle down for a night in on the couch with a terrible romantic comedy when—
“Sonic! Sonic!” Tails’s voice shouts over Sonic’s phone once he picks up. “Downtown! It’s Eggman!”
Needless to say, their evening plans that had taken weeks to align their schedules so it could happen, did not happen.
Or the other day, when Shadow had just gotten home from work and found Sonic making dinner at his and Rouge’s apartment.
“Rouge is out with Amy tonight, so let’s hang out!” Sonic said with gusto. The dinner had looked delicious, and they were about to sit down to eat when—
“Shadow? Yeah, Towers needs us for an emergency recon,” Rouge said through Shadow’s phone.
Shadow had nearly thrown his phone at the wall.
And here they are now. Sonic just got back earlier than expected from a battle with a mad scientist (not Eggman this time) and the wackjob’s robots in Germany, and instead of going back to his and Tails’s place and resting he chose to come visit Shadow. He appreciates it immensely, but he also knows Sonic is just barely holding himself back from collapsing.
“You can sleep if you want,” Shadow says.
“Nooo,” Sonic whines as he leans into Shadow. They’re sitting on the couch where Sonic had begun to tell the tale of his latest adventure, but the poor guy keeps nodding off. Honestly, Shadow could go for sleep too. He just got back from that emergency recon mission earlier this morning and had to work through the day at Headquarters before he could actually get home.
Shadow sighs and pats Sonic gently on the head. “You should rest.” A long yawn escapes from his lungs, and he’s unable to hide the fact that he feels like he could drift away any moment too.
“Ughhh. We’re finally able to be together, and we can hardly stay awake,” Sonic laments.
Shadow’s head becomes heavy and he’s almost too tired to be upset about it all. Almost.
“I’m sorry,” Sonic says in response to Shadow's frustration spreading.
“No, it’s not you. It’s just—” Shadow tries to find the right words. “I should quit. I don’t even know anymore if this is the right job for me, and I thought at first that it’d be helping people like Maria wanted.” His voice hitches a bit. “I’m so fucking tired all the time right now, and I hate how we hardly see each other, and—” And and and. He could go on, but his eyes are becoming teary, his voice trembling with exhausted anger.
“Hey, hey.” Sonic sits up a bit and wraps an arm around Shadow, this time pulling him so he’s leaning on Sonic. The warmth of Sonic and his heartbeat soothe Shadow, and he takes a deep breath, just taking a moment to loosen his muscles and be grateful that Sonic is his and he’s Sonic’s.
Sonic’s fingers card through the fur atop Shadow’s head as he holds him. “You’re upset.”
“Yeah.” This has been their new thing. Whenever Sonic thinks he’s feeling Shadow’s emotions, he verbally confirms it so that Shadow can acknowledge it as well. Shadow had thought it’d be a stupid exercise at first, but he’s been surprised by how much better he feels just from agreeing that yes, he’s upset, he’s happy, he’s angry, whatever he’s feeling.
“Yeah, me too.” He knows what Sonic means. He’s feeling the stress of it all too, even without experiencing Shadow’s emotions.
They stay like this for several minutes. Just leaning on each other and breathing the same air. Sonic’s breathing slows, and Shadow thinks he’s asleep until he starts talking again.
“It’d be nice to just…get away. Even for a day or two.”
Shadow hums in response. That would be nice, he thinks as his eyelids close. He’s about to legitimately drift off when an idea forms in his sleep deprived brain. The idea slowly energizes him the more he thinks about it, and he blinks in alertness.
“Well, why don’t we?”
“Why don’t we what?” Sonic mumbles back, half asleep at this point.
“Get away!” The exhaustion starts to evaporate off of Shadow like steam, and he sits up, steadying Sonic’s sleepy body in the process. Sonic grumbles a bit and rubs one eye, but all Shadow can think of is his idea (and how adorable Sonic looks like this).
Not waiting for Sonic to answer, Shadow takes out his phone and starts googling. His leg bounces as he searches for nearby locations. Sonic yawns and stretches as he sits up.
“Okay, I can definitely feel your excitement,” he says with a smile. He rests an elbow on the couch’s armrest and leans his face on his hand. “What’re you thinking?”
“Camping!”
“Camping?”
“Yeah,” Shadow says as he narrows his search results. “Rouge and I have only ever camped out for work, but it would be a good getaway for something fun to do.”
“Babe, it’s the middle of January.” The judgment in Sonic’s voice is quite evident, but Shadow will make him understand soon enough.
“Trust me, as someone who’s done both, camping outside in the winter is much better than the summer.”
Sonic is apprehensive, but Shadow’s assurance is effective and infectious. “Alright,” Sonic says with a chuckle. “Let’s go camping.”
Since Shadow’s somewhat experienced, he ends up handling most of the planning. He and Sonic start out both involved, but Sonic gets to a point where he needs sleep, so Shadow gives him full permission to crash on the couch while he plots out the rest of their getaway. The pure anticipation of being able to remove himself and Sonic from society for a whole weekend keeps him going better than any caffeinated drink. Only after he books a reservation and emails his boss about taking off next weekend does he let himself collapse on the couch next to Sonic.
The next week is a bit of a whirlwind. And yet it somehow still drags on at the same time. Shadow’s quickly approved for a weekend off, and Sonic begrudgingly leaves the fate of the world in the hands of everyone else. Shadow knows Sonic wants to get away just as much as he does, he just feels like the entire world’s safety is his sole responsibility sometimes. Most times. All the time. And while he loves Sonic for this, he also hates it. Hates that he can relate.
But they need this, and everyone else agrees. Tails and Rouge eagerly agree to keep themselves and everyone else on standby for the weekend (not that they usually don’t, but it makes Sonic feel better, so that’s all that matters).
Shadow gets a bit of shit from the higher ups for requesting off, but Rouge shuts it down quickly, reminding the bastards who it is that’s never taken a day off in over a year. Shadow almost gets emotional from how supportive she is. She’s even letting him borrow her car for the weekend. ( “You two are not going to fit everything on your motorcycle, sweetie.” )
She’s right of course. As romantic as it would have been to drive Sonic on his motorcycle, it would have also been incredibly inconvenient.
Finally, finally, they reach Friday.
“Did you remember the First Aid kit?” Rouge asks as he and Sonic are packing the car.
“Yup.”
“Charging blocks?”
“Right here.”
“Gas for the burner?”
“Uh…”
“Oh! I gave Sonic some extra of what I had on hand,” Tails interjects while he and Sonic attempt to angle the folded up tent into the trunk.
Once they get all the penultimate goodbyes out of the way, Sonic and Shadow pile in. Now that it’s actually happening, Shadow can tell that Sonic is for real excited and not just feeling Shadow’s own eagerness.
“Woo! Road trip, let’s go!” He bounces in the passenger seat and waves to Tails and Rouge as Shadow starts the car.
He doesn’t animate in the way Sonic does, but Shadow’s chest swells, like his whole body, the whole car, could lift off into the sky at any moment. Finally! It’s only a few hours to their campsite. They’ll be there in no time.
Or so Shadow thinks.
“Uh, were you supposed to get off at that exit?” Sonic maneuvers his fingers on the GPS touchscreen so that it zooms out.
“I think so? The next exit was too far north.”
“But this doesn’t look right.”
They reach a stoplight. Shadow groans and hits his head against the wheel, not caring that he makes the car’s horn go off. They’d already taken two wrong turns throughout this journey, resulting in backtracking and losing time. At this point, they could very well miss their check in.
“Wait, there’s the grocery store Rouge said we’d see. This is right!” Sonic points out and jostles Shadow out of his mini pity party. Thank god.
Per their plans, they hit up the grocery store for some extra supplies and cooking ingredients.
“Are you sure you want to cook?” Shadow asks in the checkout line. Sonic has a basket full of interesting looking ingredients for a “mystery meal” as he calls it. Not encouraging.
Sonic grins. “Totally! I’m gonna whip up something real tasty, just you wait.” He finishes his sentence by lightly pinching Shadow’s nose and shaking it, causing Shadow to sneeze loudly. He should be annoyed, but laughter bubbles out of Shadow and spreads to Sonic. They play at trying to wrap each other’s scarves around the other until the cashier loudly calls to them that they’re next in line. Oops.
Once they’re back in the car, it only takes about another 20 minutes for them to get to their destination. They park in the lot, and just before Shadow is about to start unloading the car, Sonic breaks into a mad dash for the hill ahead.
“Race you!” he shouts, and it’s been far too long since they’ve had a good run together, so Shadow catches up and even surpasses Sonic much quicker than he’s ever done. The brief shot of adrenaline through his body gives him the perfect pick-me-up after that agonizing drive out here.
Shadow makes it to the top of the hill first, and in an uncharacteristic show of emotion, he punches his fists in the air and jumps a little. And then he notices the view.
That’s their campsite up ahead. A beautiful crystal clear lake surrounded by a pine forest and low mountain range. The site has cleared grounds for camping out close to the lakeshore and allows campers to gather their own firewood for a small fee. Besides that there are several amenities on the grounds or within walking distance. There’s a town with locally owned shops and eating establishments. The lake offers canoeing and fishing depending on the season and temperature. They won’t be fishing this time of year with it being winter, but there is one thing Shadow is looking forward to that’s open in the winter: the hot springs!
He hopes he isn’t setting unrealistic expectations for the weekend, but he can’t help it. As Sonic takes a selfie of the two of them for Tails, Shadow smiles and reminds himself that as long as he’s with Sonic, their time here will be perfect no matter what.
Not used to taking things slow, Sonic bounces and skips the entire way to the check in. He comments on every novel sight, which is to say almost everything they see.
“Hey, look! This bear statue has a fish in its mouth!” He points at the weathered stone carving as if it’s the president he’s meeting. “He looks kinda grumpy though. Oh! Stand in front of it so I can get both of you looking grumpy, Shads!”
Shadow would have denied such a request if it were anyone else. He’s come to terms with his resting bitch face, and if it’ll make Sonic happy, then so be it.
“Tails better be the only one who sees that,” Shadow says after Sonic snaps a few pictures.
“Hm? Yeah, yeah definitely,” Sonic says as he giggles at his phone. Shadow sighs, but he finds himself smiling at Sonic’s unbridled joy in everything. Besides, this trip was Shadow’s idea after all. It’d be pretty shitty of him to try to ruin the fun.
With all the detours and previous wrong turns on the road, they just barely make it to their check in. Sonic flips through the site’s brochure as they cart their things to the designated campground. He chats it up about all the different things he’s looking forward to doing during their stay, his voice projecting over the sound of one of the cart’s squealing wheels.
“You said we’ll be able to do a little hiking, right?” Sonic asks. “It looks like there’s a trail that goes partly up the mountain.”
Shadow nods. “There are tougher trails available then that one, but I figured we’re trying to take it easy anyway.”
“Sounds good to me.” Sonic takes a deep breath of the air and closes his eyes. When he opens them, he looks at the lake’s water that runs alongside their current path. “Thanks for finding this place. Seriously, I would have never pegged you for a guy who’s into the outdoors.”
Shadow stops walking, the cart he’s tugging coming to a screeching halt.
Stopping a few paces ahead of him, Sonic turns back. “Shadow?”
The urge to push it down is strong.
Sonic reaches out and lays a hand on Shadow’s shoulder.
The urge is not as strong as the love he feels, he knows, is there for him.
“You okay? What’s up?”
Shadow takes a deep breath and exhales. “Let’s get our stuff set up before it gets dark, and I’ll talk about it after that.”
They find a spot that’s elevated enough so that they’re above the lake’s water level and close enough to the trees and branches scattered about the ground. They’re lucky the weather turned out to be so mild this weekend, with only a light breeze occasionally carrying the scent of pine and earthiness to their campsite as they set up the tent. The tent and low table manage to be unfolded and assembled without much trouble (although there are a few close calls with the tent’s rods that almost snap during setup).
“Sweet!” Sonic says as he snaps a picture of the final product.
“You ready to get the wood for the fire?”
Sonic flops down onto the thick blanket Shadow just finished laying by their table. “Noooo. I’m gettin’ sleepy already.”
“I thought you wanted to cook us dinner?”
In an instant, Sonic springs back up onto his feet. “Oh yea! Let’s get some firewood!”
Sonic hums a familiar tune while they gather the wood. The song soothes Shadow’s nerves. He shouldn’t be afraid to talk to Sonic about what was bothering him earlier, but it’s still something he struggles with. Opening up these guarded parts of himself always feels terrifying, like the whole world, not just Sonic, is going to see his vulnerabilities and then tear him apart for it. They’ll see him for who he really is, how ruined and broken he is, and they’ll despise him.
“Hey, Shadow, look! This piece of wood looks like it has a smiley face!”
Shadow smiles and nods in acknowledgement. His fears are unfounded. He’ll be fine.
The crackling sound of the fire burning wood fills the pockets of silence as they gather everything needed to cook dinner. And though Shadow doesn’t always have confidence in Sonic’s cooking abilities, he’s undeniably anticipating the meal, especially once he sees Sonic break out the meat they bought earlier.
Sonic grins and tents his fingers together as if he’s a monologuing villain. “Alright Shadow, get ready for…a hot pot!”
That certainly piques Shadow’s interest. He already knew of the ingredients Sonic brought with them, but he had no idea what was going to be made with them all together. His mouth starts to water before the broth even simmers, and he very unsubtly watches Sonic prepare the meal, occasionally inching closer to take a look. Sonic lightly whacks his head with the stirring spoon when he gets too close at one point.
“I’m telling you, it’s not done yet!” Sonic says with a giggle. “It’s gotta sit for a little while now. We’ll check on it in a bit.” He knows he’s being a baby about it, but Shadow still pouts. He’s gonna get hangry!
Sensing the change in temperament, Sonic rushes to offer a solution. “Don’t be hangry! Look, we’ve also got some tea, yea? Why don’t we make some while we’re waiting on the hot pot?”
“Okay, fine,” Shadow concedes. While they’re waiting for the water to boil in the portable kettle, Shadow decides he’s ready to talk.
“A month before the ARK was invaded, a vaccine for Maria’s illness was in its trial stage with promising results,” he says quietly amidst the crackle of the fire.
Sonic looks up from the hot pot, gently setting the lid back over it. His eyes are on Shadow, silent but attentive.
He takes a deep breath, a dull ache blooming in his chest. “The Professor couldn’t make promises, but we were still excited. Maria and I spent hours planning what we’d do once we were on Earth.”
A pause. He’s never spoken about this with anybody, not even Rouge. When he thinks back to those innocent days, his heart bleeds at the memories of what was lost, his soul raging at the unfairness of it all. And now those same sensations are going to affect Sonic, the fabric of his emotions unspooling and tethering onto his boyfriend’s heart. There are countless threads that bind them together. If Shadow ever wanted to, he could reach out and pluck each individual string like a guitar and experience the melody of those feelings he passed on to Sonic all over again.
A warmth envelops Shadow’s hand. He blinks back tears and finds Sonic has shuffled closer to him, his fingers intertwined with Shadow’s and his eyes glossy.
“It probably came from living most of her life in a sterilized space station, but Maria really wanted to experience nature. Forests and mountains and canyons and beaches. All of it.” A tear escapes from his eye, and he smiles sadly at the images that flash through his mind of Maria planning out a future that would never come.
Sonic leans into Shadow. Shadow leans back. They’re both a little teary now.
“Sounds like she appreciated the planet more than a lot of people that actually live on it,” Sonic says. “So you guys were really thinking about camping and stuff once you got here?”
Shadow nods. “She had a bit more of a romanticized view of it all than what it’s really like, but…I feel like I’m close to her again whenever I’ve had to camp out for a mission with Rouge. I just never got around to actually doing it for fun.”
The kettle whistles, their water boiled and ready for tea. While they steep the tea, Sonic nuzzles his face into Shadow’s and says, “Thanks for talking about it.”
“Mhmm.”
They spend the next 20 minutes idly recovering from the raw topic, sipping tea and talking about what they’re going to do tomorrow and Sunday. Hot springs, hiking, shopping. Sonic is hoping to get almost all his friends souvenirs. Shadow has to remind Sonic that they don’t have endless hands to carry that much stuff.
“Alllright, Shadow. Ready for the hot pot?” Sonic asks with glee radiating off of his whole being. He rubs his hands together and wiggles his fingers before lifting the lid off with flourish. The steam trapped under the lid immediately rises and drifts into Shadow’s nose, the savory and salty smell of the cooked meat going straight to his stomach.
It’d be childish to bounce in his seat as he waits for Sonic to scoop out his portion, but that doesn’t stop Shadow from grinning with an increasingly salivating mouth.
“Here you go!” The bowl is warm in Shadow’s hands, the smell coming from it irresistible. He scoops out a large spoonful and stuffs it in his mouth. The taste hits him immediately. Salty broth with a slight kick. Noodles and vegetables that add some flavor. And the meat! Savory cooked beef that tastes like he died and went to food heaven. Shadow closes his eyes and audibly hums in appreciation for the delicious meal. So good!
He opens his eyes to find Sonic staring expectantly. “Well?”
Shadow takes a moment to chew, savoring the flavor, before he swallows and says, “It’s delicious.” But Sonic probably already knows that. No way Shadow’s feelings didn’t reach him.
“Yes! Now that it has the official Shadow approval, I can eat it!” Sonic takes a large spoonful for himself, unsuccessfully trying to fit too much on it, and eats as much of it as he can fit in his mouth.
“Mmm! Oh hell yes!” Sonic enthusiastically spoons more into his mouth as he says, “Dude, this came out great!”
Shadow laughs a little before he takes a napkin and wipes a stray spatter of soup off the side of Sonic’s mouth. Sonic recoils at first, but once he realizes what Shadow’s doing, he sits still (not without a childish roll of his eyes of course).
“Thanks, Mom,” Sonic jokes. Shadow throws the used napkin in his face.
They take their time with downing most of the pot, the warm meal not only filling their stomachs but also heating them up as the air turns cold and bitter. The sun is long down by now, and after such a sating meal, Sonic and Shadow are content to cuddle up by the fire with a thick blanket wrapped around both of them.
“Thanks for convincing me to give this a shot,” Sonic says.
“Oh. Yea, of course, I mean…You’re having fun?”
Sonic drops his head on Shadow’s shoulder. “Of course I am. Plus, it’s hard not to when you’re enjoying yourself so much.”
Oh. Shadow opens his mouth, about to apologize for pushing his emotions onto Sonic, but he clamps it shut at the last second. Right. He’s not supposed to be apologizing for feeling his feelings. Instead, he rests his head against Sonic and snuggles closer to him. He’s so warm and cozy like this, with his arms around Sonic, and Sonic’s arms around him. The night air is cold and unfriendly, but he has Sonic and the warm blanket that protect him.
He doesn’t realize he’s started falling asleep until Sonic gives him a small peck on the cheek. “Is someone getting sleepy?”
“No,” Shadow mumbles and then promptly yawns.
“Well, guess what? I am, so we’re going to bed.”
Shadow makes sure to properly put out the fire before he crawls into the tent. Sonic is very busy setting up pillows and blankets in an organized chaos sort of fashion. He doesn’t notice Shadow right away, and an idea pops into Shadow’s head. Slowly, Shadow sneaks right up behind Sonic, the other hedgehog humming to himself as he fluffs up a pillow, and pulls him into a tight hug.
“Whoa! Shadow?” Sonic turns his head to look at Shadow. “Jeez, you nearly made me spin dash!”
Shadow ignores him, content instead to just nuzzle into the soft blue fur. Smells like pine and smoke. Feels like home. He could stay like this forever, just holding Sonic close to him. If only every day would be like this. If only they didn’t have jobs or obligations. They could just be this close always. He could listen to Sonic talk for hours and eat his delicious cooking and never let him go. His limbs tingle a little, throat goes thick, as he thinks of how much he adores Sonic.
He can almost hear the blush in Sonic’s voice when he gasps and says, “O-Oh. Um—” Can’t really blame Sonic for that one. Shadow knows he just tossed the emotional equivalent of a megaton weight at him, and he worries for a moment that he overstepped.
Except no—Sonic collapses into the pile of blankets and pulls Shadow down with him, rolling on top of him and pressing him down with his weight. It’s hard to see with the only light in the tent being the small electric lantern in the corner, but Shadow can tell there’s a fierce blush on Sonic’s face. Still, he looks determined all of a sudden, and Shadow is in the dark as to why. Until Sonic brings his face closer and presses their lips together.
The feeling of Sonic’s mouth on his is not unlike the all encompassing warmth of the campfire from earlier. He melts into it, bringing his hands to hold Sonic’s face as he kisses him back. In the back of his mind, he worries he’s not doing it right, because sure, they’ve kissed a few times in the past, but it’s so rare that Shadow gets paranoid he forgets how to go about it. But the worry is easily forgotten, because it feels too natural, holding Sonic like this and being connected by their lips. It’s too perfect to be wrong.
When Sonic eventually pulls away, he presses his forehead to Shadows and says, “I love you too.”
Oh.
Oh.
Shadow knows he’s not the best at feeling his own feelings, but he knows without a shadow of a doubt that Sonic’s right. That megaton weight of emotions he threw at Sonic several minutes ago was definitely a declaration of love. And now it’s his turn to furiously blush, the heat of it crawling up his neck and blooming across his face.
“Oh, well, um…I just—” His words are jumbled, his head feeling light and fuzzy. What is he supposed to say now? Did he just permanently change their relationship? Is there something he’s supposed to do now that he’s pushed them past that line?
“Shadow, babe, it’s okay.” Sonic lightly kisses him again. He pulls back and traces a gentle finger down the side of Shadow’s face. “You’re embarrassed.”
It takes him a moment to nod and look away.
Sonic simply smiles and says, “You’re also quite adorable.”
Now that one is simply not true. But even so, Shadow’s chest tightens, and the heat in his face goes all the way up to his ears. He presses his face into Sonic’s chest and mumbles something incoherent. Sonic laughs, and Shadow can feel the vibration of it against his face, into his own body so that he laughs a little too.
As they lay there together, curled up in each other and protected from the harsh elements of nature outside, Shadow comes to terms with his feelings. And only when he’s absolutely positive that Sonic is asleep does he practice saying his feelings out loud.
He’ll get to saying it when Sonic is awake at some point.