Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When Fred went down to get breakfast three days into summer break it was silent, which immediately triggered his fight or flight response.

It was never silent in the Burrow at this hour. No, scratch that. It was never silent in the Burrow, period.

He was half down the stairs when he saw Ginny standing at the bottom, giving him very clear hand-signs to not come down.

That was strange. He was sure that he hadn’t done anything to deserve the wrath of their mother. Not that he had ever done anything to deserve anyone’s wrath. But his little sister seemed serious, so of course he went down to see what was going on, expertly ignoring the glare she sent at him when he walked past.

She would be so adorable if he didn’t know how terrifying she could be. Even more so if she wouldn’t be aware of it, too.

Once he stepped near the kitchen he could practically feel the aura of absolute wrath that his mother emitted.

Huh.

The only thing that had happened last time around was Sirius’ breakout out of Azkaban, and he was pretty sure that that wasn’t what had happened.

Oh.

Of course. Where would the literary parallels be if not here.

He walked over to the table, looked down at the first page of the Daly Prophet and sighed.

Breakout at Azkaban: Pettigrew escapes.

However the rat had managed this feat Fred didn’t know. Sirius had escaped because no one had known he was an animagus, Pettigrew had been openly stated to be one in the article following his arrest, there was no way he hadn’t been put in a cell that would suppress that ability. Was there?

Honestly Fred wasn’t sure. If he had learned anything about the Ministry over the years it was that half of them were incompetent and most of the rest were corrupt.

What he did know, however, was that Pettigrew wouldn’t survive a second if Molly Weasley found him.

Everyone should fear the wrath of the Weasley matriarch.

——

Sirius had invited the Weasleys over for Harry’s birthday and so they found themselves all huddled around the big dinner table at Grimmauld Place while Sirius and Molly rummaged around in the kitchen. 

Harry’s godfather had apparently discovered a previously unknown love for cooking and baking and the Weasley matriarch had taken it upon herself to teach him everything she knew.

It was scary, in Fred’s opinion, how well the two of them got on. There was none of that silent tension that had been there the last time around. This Molly had never seen Harry suffer under the Dursleys’ care, neither did she need to worry about Sirius being a fugitive that could be ripped out of the boy’s life any second.

Fred hadn’t liked the way his mother had treated Sirius the last time around, but he could see where she had been coming from.

Now, however, the two were cooking together in perfect harmony and probably plotting their revenge on Pettigrew together as they made pasta. 

A shudder crawled up Fred’s back at the thought. The two were a horrifying team, and the worst part was that they knew it. Wormtail should be glad if they only killed him, but Fred had a feeling that they wouldn’t be so kind.

“Sirius has no qualms eating rats, you know.” 

Harry, as ever, just had to make Fred’s life hell.

——

Neither Fred nor Harry were sure if the dementors would be back at Hogwarts this year. It surely was a possibility after Pettigrew broke out of Azkaban, since it was students who were responsible for putting him there.

Specifically, it was the twins who had sent him there via McGonagall. 

So now they were here blatantly exploiting the wards on the Blacks’ properties that made the trace useless, and trying to teach George and Ginny the patronus charm, just in case. One could never be too prepared for the decisions the Ministry made. That simply wasn’t possible.

—

“Do you think Voldemort can cast a patronus?” Harry asked when they had settled down to do a quick break. Neither Ginny nor George had managed to cast a patronus in any shape or form yet, and they were all tired.

Fred didn’t trust the look on the other’s face. It looked like he was thinking, and with Harry that always was a sign that he would do something enormously dangerous and stupid. 

I was that same look that he had had before his first Quidditch match or that one time the year before when he tried to get professor Delphis with their glitter-toy prototype.

That hadn’t gone too well for the boy-who-probably-still-glittered. The thing really needed some more work, but Fred had a feeling that they were close to perfecting it. And they already had a plan on how to use it for maximum chaos, too! But for now, it remained as an unfinished toy that was more likely to affect the person using it, than the person it was supposed to be used on.

On the upside, it had made her laugh hard enough that she had to leave the room.

“Why would you want to know that, Harry?”

“Oh, just a thought.” The answer came way to fast for Fred’s liking. It meant that whatever plan the other was working on was at least half formed already. And that in turn meant, that Harry was ready to go and just improvise the rest while he went.

Ginny and George were apparently equally suspicious of the other boy’s behavior and were exchanging glances. 

It was good to see that none of them trusted Harry to be responsible.

——

"I want a cat!” Were the first words Hermione said to any of them when they met up in Diagon Alley near the end of August.

Fred just nodded. He couldn’t fault her for it, cats were adorable. If he would trust George of himself to take care of a pet, and not get absorbed by some project for a week and completely forget about it, he would have discussed getting one with his twin a long time ago.

Well, that and the fact that they couldn’t really afford to buy one at the moment.

When neither Harry nor Fred showed any signs of surprise, Hermione huffed and crossed her arms. “Are you going to pretend that Fred saw that with his magical seer abilities, too?”

“You know, Mione,” Harry spoke up and immediately fell victim to her scathing glare. “Using “magical” as a sarcastic descriptor doesn’t really work with actual witches and wizards, you-”

“But yes!” Fred said, before the other could say something that may or may not cause him to be used as target practice. There wasn’t a lot the young witch would be able to throw with around them, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t try. “I did spy with my magical eye a cat in your near future. And quite an adorable one, I might add!”

Harry visibly did his best not to give him an incredulous glance. It wasn’t a very successful attempt.

They both knew Crookshanks wasn’t adorable. That creature had been a demon on four legs, but maybe Hermione would choose a less kneazle- and more cat-like pet this time around.

Fred didn’t allow himself to hope.

Hermione had absolutely adored the ginger bastard, there was no way she wouldn’t pick him again.

——

George had been a bit off lately. Fred, Harry, and Ginny had noticed a while back, and even Hermione had seemed to be taken aback by the younger twin’s behavior from time to time.

So when George had cornered him the weekend before they went back to Hogwarts and asked him “You still do want to do the joke shop, don’t you?” he had not been prepared for that specific question at all.

So that’s what this was about. Fred had thought his twin might have been nervous that the year Voldemort was coming back was nearing, but apparently not!

Fred grinned, this conversation would be a lot easier than trying to calm George down from a Voldemort-induced panic attack.

“Of course! Is that even a question?”

George shrugged, but relaxed visibly. “We haven’t talked about the idea for a while now, and from what you told me, you and the other me already had a shop, and maybe it wasn’t as great of an idea as we always thought…”

“Oh, no, it was great! I gotta say, though, I think Harry might want to join in this time.” George raised an eyebrow at that. “Yeah, I have a feeling that he really doesn’t want to be an auror anymore. I think he realized that he doesn’t necessarily want to fight bad people, but instead make others happy.”

“Really?” George sounded contemplative. “I always got the impression that he might want to take up the title of Defense against the Darks Arts professor.” The second he had spoken that sentence his eyes widened a bit, then both twins shuddered at the same time.

That was a horrifying thought.

The poor children.

——

“Just to let you know, there’s no way this is going to work!”

Fred huffed. They all knew that, but they weren’t really here because they thought that they could get into the Lestrange vault via Sirius’ relation to Bellatrix. They weren’t that delusional!

No, they had their own plan to get the cup. Not that they had told Sirius about it… yet.  They would need him to play along when the time came, but to be quite honest, they weren’t sure if he would, should they explain the plan now. So they would wait until they were inside. The Black vaults weren’t too far off from where they would need to go, which was exactly why they needed Sirius.

The trio — because they weren’t about to tell Hermione and Ginny about this and George had offered to keep the two girls occupied — wandered inside Gringotts. The goblin at the reception table did not look happy to see them. Neither did he agree to lead Sirius to the Lestrange vaults.

At Harry’s request, full blown with puppy dog eyes, Sirius then asked to see his own vaults, and soon later they were on their way in those Merlin forsaken carts. Fred had grown to hate them in the short years he and George had had their joke shop. He was sure the goblins only designed them this way to watch wizards and witches suffer.

After about half a minute of torture roller coaster, the Goblin went blank and the cart they were in raced decidedly past the Black vaults and further down to where Harry remembered the Lestranges’ to be. Fred’s eyes went wide as realization hit him. “Did you just cast it silently?”

Fred was still a bit surprised that Harry had suggested using the imperius at all, but then again, they were on a quest to stop Voldemort. As long as they made sure the goblin didn’t remember them, all would be fine.

Harry shrugged. “I practiced it a bit. Had to make sure that I could cast it, didn’t I?”

Well, that did make sense.

They arrived in front of the vaults and Sirius all but fell out of the cart. “What just happened? How did you do that?” His voice was a lot higher than its normal pitch as he gestured wildly in the goblin's direction. “Are those the Lestrange vaults? How are we here?”

Harry stared at his godfather for a second, blinked and shrugged again. “We need something from those vaults, and doing it like this is the safest method to do so.” He paused, frowned a bit and continued. “You’re not going to report me, are you? I promise I don’t normally use the imperius to get what I want, there’s a lot more entertaining ways-“

“The imperius!?”

At that point Fred began to worry about potential heart problems that could develop under such situations of stress. He liked Sirius, but maybe obliviating him would be best for everyone involved? He raised a questioning eyebrow at Harry, but the other boy shook his head.

And there Fred had actually put effort into learning memory charms for situations like this! He stuck out his bottom lip and crossed his arms, to show exactly how disappointed he was that he couldn’t test them out.

How was he supposed to get better at manipulating memories, if he never got to actually use the spells?

Chapter Text

“What’s she still doing here?”

Fred followed the line of Harry’s gaze and landed at the professors’ table. More specifically, his eyes landed on Theodosia Delphis, who was now sitting at a seat at the table that had been unoccupied for as long as Fred could remember. She looked decidedly worse for wear, with dark bags under her eyes and paler skin than he remembered her having, but it definitely was her.

The curse probably only affected people who attempted a whole year of teaching the position. Although, if that was true, then how come Lockhart had managed to die by February? 

Well, it was possible that the reason for that simply was that he was utterly incompetent. 

Merlin who even knew if the curse on the position was still active? All of their defense teachers — except George and Fred’s first year professor in the subject — had initially met the end of their teaching career only because of Harry’s presence, so the theory that Harry might have absorbed the curse into himself seemed at least possible.

He let his gaze wander and land on another seat on the other side of the table. Lupin was there — much to Snape’s displeasure — but, to Fred’s surprise, so was another man.

“Better question, what’s he doing here?”

Directly next to Lupin, who did look just as uncomfortable as he had the last time with so much of the students’ attention, was a grinning Sirius Black.

Harry turned his head into the direction Fred was pointing to. 

His godfather had the audacity to wave at them.

——

Fred had thought Delphis was over the top when it came to teaching Defense against the Dark Arts, but now that she was the history professor he found out the hard way that Theodosia Delphis could be a lot more intense.

Apparently she was very invested in teaching in general.

Now if any of them could figure out why the witch was there, maybe they could fully appreciate the fact that Hogwarts would — for the first time in centuries — have a competent teacher in History of Magic.

They thought they knew that she wanted something from George, but the reason behind that, they hadn’t been able to figure out. Mainly because she hadn’t actually been after George, but Fred.

The trio supposed that she may not be after anyone specific at all, but more the mysterious Slytherin Weasley. But what exactly Fred had done to warrant such attention from a random — but highly suspicious — professor was still a mystery to them.

They would probably find out in the future.

…

Maybe.

——

Sirius hadn’t told his godson of his plans to come Hogwarts to teach a course for talented transfiguration students who wanted to become animagi. 

He had gotten certified by the ministry over the span of the last school year and got permission to teach the subject. In silence, of course, he didn’t want the news reaching Harry after all. Minerva McGonagall agreed that it would be better to have a course for it, instead of having children attempt the transformation illegally and on their own.

If Sirius had felt called out by that, he didn’t show it, only smiling along innocently.

The fact that this way he could stay close to Harry, while Pettigrew was running around free was an unforeseen side effect, but he wasn’t going to complain. 

If only Molly could also be there. They would have Wormtail caught and back in Azkaban before Halloween. Well, if they let him go back to Azkaban that was. They hadn’t decided yet.

But now it was only him and he wasn’t about to take the opportunity of revenge away from the woman; he still had much to learn about the ways of a good chef from her, and he would not pass up on that. He had been hopeless in the kitchen before she had taken pity on him and started teaching him.

It was luck, Sirius supposed, that Harry had ended up with the Weasleys of all people while he had been in St Mungos. Molly had invited him to the Burrow regularly over the year while his godson was at Hogwarts, and  Sirius was very grateful to the Weasley matriarch.

After he had freed Kreacher Grimmauld Place had been empty and depressing to be in for a single person. Even after the house was redecorated and the portrait of Walburga Black had been shredded to bits, together with the luckily non-load-bearing wall it had been stuck to. That had probably been one of the most fun days he had had in his life.

Well, that and the day he had gotten custody of Harry. The boy was a lot more independent than a normal thirteen year old was, and sometimes — like when he used the imperius to break into other people’s vaults — Sirius really questioned the way he must have been brought up.

From what he knew about Lily’s sister, it couldn’t have been pleasant.

But now Harry was going to be living with him and Sirius was going to do his best to take care of the teenager.

No matter that he was a Slytherin, or possibly a bit insane, or claiming to be a time traveler for fun, when he was with the Weasley twins.

As long as Harry didn’t seriously injure or endanger someone else, Sirius would stand behind his godson.

Although, he supposed there was that one incident in his first year with that Defense against the Dark Arts professor. But that didn’t count. The guy had been possessed, nobody could fault Harry for dealing with that.

——

McGonagall was not overly enthusiastic about Sirius’ idea of an animagus-workshop at Hogwarts, but she did have to admit that it was lengths better than the students hearing about it and then going on to attempt the transformation themselves.

She didn’t necessarily think that the Weasley twins would be that reckless, but to be quite honest, she wasn’t really sure about Harry. The boy had shown to be impulsive and not too concerned with his health.

On top of that, however, he was thirteen. She was not going to allow a thirteen-year-old to attempt the animagus transformation, with or without supervision!

McGonagall wasn’t a fool, she had noticed the way Sirius had studied the rules she had set for his course and how a slight expression of disappointment had flashed over his features when he had read the part about who was going to be allowed to take the course; Only students who had passed their transfiguration OWL with an O and NEWT students, and only with parental consent for those that weren’t off age yet.

But he hadn’t outright complained as she had expected. Instead he had nodded in agreement, said it was fair, and that he would hold to them.

She would admit that she had been surprised by that reaction, but not as much as she thought she would be.

Sirius had shown quite a bit of personal growth after Harry had been sorted into Slytherin. Having to take care of a child had been good for him, especially since said child was even more chaotic than Sirius had been himself when he had been a teenager.

And what a shock that must have been. McGonagall would have loved to see the first time Sirius had noticed that little detail of his godson's personality.

——

Fred leaned over curiously to look at Hermione’s timetable. To his horror, it wasn’t filled to the brim with overlapping subjects, instead it was that of a normal student’s that didn’t want to work themselves into the ground with schoolwork.

“Why didn’t you pick all of the electives?”

Harry sent him a look that told him that his inquiry was anything but subtle. As if that had been the point!

Hermione also sent him a look that said that his inquiry wasn’t subtle in any way and she saw right through him. “I was planning on it initially," she said absentmindedly, "but given the offer to use a time turner I realized that you would know about it already. I will not have you three use a time-altering device for your pranks, Fred Weasley!”

Harry and Fred simultaneously gasped, each putting a hand over their chests as if highly offended.

“You wound me!” It was George who spoke, all of their heads turning towards him. “I understand that you can’t be sure about those two idiots, but I would never-“ 

He was interrupted by a hard shove to the back that sent him stumbling. When he had caught his balance once again and looked back over his shoulder. At the sight of their little sister his face contorted into something both indignant and resigned.

“You purely exist to torment us, don’t you.” It wasn’t even phrased as a question.

Ginny smirked. “Obviously.”

——

Harry had been looking forward to Defense against the Dark Arts that year, and so he was practically skipping to class the morning of their first defense lesson of the school year.

All around him the other third year Slytherins were shooting him disapproving glances. Apparently showing one’s happiness didn’t agree with the ideals that most of his house mates thought they should be representing. Not that either Harry of Fred cared about any of that.

He only slowed down a bit when he remembered what they would be doing that day, at least if Remus would do the same lesson for every house and not change it up a it, but from what Harry remembered that wasn’t the case.

He had no idea what his boggart would look like. Sure, dementors were still horrifying, but he had lived through a lot more since the last time he came face to face with a boggart, so he couldn’t be sure that it would still take the same form that it did when he was really thirteen.

“Professor? Quick question,” he called out as soon as they had been let into the classroom and the introduction to that day’s lesson was finished.

Lupin turned towards Harry one eyebrow raised but smiling. “Yes, Harry?”

The raven haired boy, who had been standing on the balls of his feet to be seen from where he had positioned himself at the back of the group, let the hand he had raised fall down. “I was just wondering. Can we not have our deepest fears revealed in front of the whole class?” He saw Remus’ eyebrows furrow and hastily continued on, “I don’t trust any of these people not to use information like that against me.”

Around him the other Slytherins glanced around suspiciously, as if that wasn’t something they had considered until Harry had pointed it out, but definitely did deserve consideration.

There really wasn’t a lot the defense professor could say to that.

— 

Harry’s boggart, as it turned out, hadn’t changed. Dementors seemingly still were the most fearsome creatures he had come across, and what fun it would be to rub that little fact under Voldemort’s non-existent nose.

Lupin had only looked slightly shocked when Harry had automatically cast a fully corporeal patronus to banish the creature back into the cupboard, but couldn’t say much on the topic, since the other students were outside of the classroom, waiting for their turn. But Harry had the strong feeling that not only would Remus try to talk to him outside of class, but he would also have a conversation with Sirius.

If the defense professor could overcome his guilt-complex over believing that Sirius actually was the one to have betrayed Harry’s parents, that was.

——

“Again? How did he manage that? Shouldn't he know better by now?”

The news that Draco Malfoy had once again managed to show his general incompetence didn’t exactly come as a shock to Fred. Still, it did take a whole other level of stupidity to enrage a hippogriff after being told that that would be a very bad idea.

But then again, why were they even expecting anything from that boy anymore?

“Fred, not everyone here is a time traveler.” Hermione took it upon herself to remind him.

The older of the twins huffed. “I know that, I’m not Harry!”

An offended noise came from the other boy’s general direction, soon followed by a scrunched up piece of paper that didn’t even come close to hitting Fred’s head.

“It’s still an impressive accomplishment,” George stated. “One really has to give it to him, Malfoy does have a knack for doing exactly the wrong thing in the right moment. It works great for comedic purposes.”

——

Halloween was around the corner and once again the probably traumatic event that had taken place on that day originally wouldn’t happen — unless, of course they could convince Sirius to break into the Gryffindor common room and stand over Ron’s bed with a knife for no reason — so it was upon the twins and Harry to make the students suffer.

“Are you sure these are safe?” George eyed the scroll of parchment in his hand critically. He never had been much of a fan of runes, even though he did fairly decent in the subject.

“Perfectly. I tested them on Malfoy and his group last week.”

Harry snickered. “So that’s why his hair was all fizzy in Care of magical Creatures! And why you were hiding away in the common room so often; I thought you were trying to avoid Delphis.”

They continued drawing the rune-scheme on the bottom of every door handle they came across, always keeping an eye on the map, for a few seconds, then George broke down giggling.

George and Fred had worked on this specific scheme for the last month, designing it to give anyone magical who touches it in any way a slight electric shock.

For Malfoy’s hair to have been affected, he must have gotten zapped a lot. 

Harry and George both took a minute to imagine the scene playing out in their heads — they were almost jealous that they hadn’t been there to watch, but only almost — before they went back to drawing. The rest of their nightly activities were accompanied by snickers here and there and Fred once almost broke out fully laughing as he remembered a specific moment of Draco, hair already starting to stand up on his head, suspiciously looking around before moving to open the door to his dorm room and promptly getting zapped.

The fallout of this would be absolutely glorious.

—

Like they had predicted, the next day was hilarious to watch.

They hadn’t put any runes in the common rooms, for the simple fact that if they did it was clear which house the guilty parties came from, but even so, students and teachers alike were already wary by breakfast time.

Nobody knew what caused the electric shocks, and while Fred was sure that Dumbledore, professor Babbling, and maybe McGonagall were able to sense the runes, they hadn’t done anything against them yet. And none of their group — neither the trio, nor the two girls — were naive enough to think that Delphis would fall for something as minuscule as runes. Like Ginny had said the year before, the woman was bloody immune to anything.

It also helped that George had suggested adding a randomization feature to the time the runes took to zap. However that worked nerve-wise, Fred hadn’t quite understood yet, but it did work, so he had decided to ignore that detail for now.

By lunch there were theories of what was happening, by evening most had resigned themselves to their fate.

When he looked up towards the professors’ table at the start of the feast, the headmaster’s eyes were twinkling with delight as he scanned the tables, focusing his gaze on George and Ginny and then wandered over to where Harry and Fred for once sat with the Slytherins, lingering for a few seconds and then looking away.

Fred grinned as he took a sip of his water.

If only Dumbledore knew that they had also spiked the pumpkin juice with euphoria inducing elixir.

Well, he would find out when the nose-tweaking began.

——

Severus Snape was tired of the terror trio’s collective arses. They had been acting all high and mighty since they had formed the day Potter had started his first year, and they always seemed to get away with whatever they did.

Granted, the fact that they had literally bullied a teacher the year before had been highly amusing for him, and they had only gotten away because none of the other professors had liked Lockhart in the least. Even Snape, while he might not seem like it, held himself to a certain standard concerning his teachings. Incompetence on a professor’s behalf just wouldn’t do.

Trelawney, for example, at least was a real seer, even if just barely, but that blond idiot hadn’t even been able to make it two seconds on the dueling floor with him. Admittedly, that had been the point he had been trying to make at the time, but still.

“Weasley,” he called out and both twins raised their heads from their shared cauldron. Snape didn’t bother clarifying, he meant both. “Stay behind after class.”

They shared a look, shrugged and went back to work. Thank Merlin for small mercies.

—

“So, professor…” The Slytherin Weasley started, and Snape groaned internally as he braced himself for the infuriating game of finish-the-sentence the two liked to play at all times. Only once had Potter tried to join in on it, but that had gotten out of control faster than the potions professor had even realized what had been going on.

“What is it you wanted to talk to us about?”

“I’m sure Fred, here, and I haven’t done anything-“ 

“Don’t even bother with that,” Snape snapped. “I know exactly which one of you is who.”

That actually managed to stun them into silence, then they both started snickering.

They were mad. Completely and utterly mad. He had always known it, but now he had proof.

Chapter Text

Their original plan of “year four is the year we prank” had completely fallen out of the window. With barely anything worthwhile to look back to they were now already starting the first week of May, with exams only a month away, and they were completely and utterly bored out of their minds.

The only one in their group — except for Hermione, but she didn’t really care about pranking anyone, to be fair — that seemingly wasn’t burned out, was Harry.

Harry was also the only one out of their little quintet who didn’t shy away from actively antagonizing the professors, especially Snape. Fred and George did try to be a bit more subtle in their wrongdoings, Ginny, while ruthless, didn’t want her involvement to become public knowledge, but Harry was just plain out showing his instability.

After the basilisk debacle, for example, back in his second year the boy had spent weeks around the roosters, that had partially been given to Hagrid to take care of, and tried to befriend them in an effort to get one to let him pet it, but the animals just didn’t like him, it seemed. Which made it a lot more hilarious that George always without fail managed to have at least one approach him within minutes of sitting down near the flock.

Ginny had, after the first few times, gone as far as to invite other students to watch, which had led to an audience every time Harry went down to the castle grounds, no matter if he went there for a stroll, to the roosters, or just went in the general direction because he needed to get to another classroom. 

And now, after his latest stunt, Harry had actually managed to attract a following that just didn't stop. This following being the whole of Gryffindor. Which nobody would complain about — honestly, they’d rather have positive attention than the negative one that had started up the last time around — but having the whole of Gryffindor house literally waddling around after the silver boy like a horde of ducklings was highly irritating. 

Especially since they had been trying to prepare a prank for the past three hours and just couldn’t find any place to do so without some random kid interrupting.

“What the hell did you do?” George finally snapped at Harry after they had to opt for a tactical retreat into the room of requirement.

Maybe they could  put some polyjuice in the pumpkin juice at breakfast and make everyone who drank it look like the boy-who-lived-to-be-a-general-nuisance? That would cause quite a bit of confusion, Fred reckoned, but the consequences might actually be a bit more than a detention for something like that. Polyjuice was a highly restricted substance.

So that wouldn’t happen. It was a nice thought, though.

“I haven’t done anything!” Harry protested. “I’ve only ever been my usual charming self!”

Ah. So he had probably antagonized Snape and actually for once gotten the better on the potions professor. That was, admittedly, impressive. Professor Snape was very adept at dodging anything thrown at him, both literally and metaphorically. 

“I might have managed to brew a potion that, when spilled, makes any surface it touches extremely slippery.” Harry continued, the most innocent expression Fred had ever seen on his face. “And then, completely by accident, of course, bumped into the cauldron. It fell, Professor Snape went to clean it up and he must have underestimated the force with which the potion spilled.” 

That would certainly explain the Gryffindors’ sudden liking for the boy they had for the last few years barely tolerated on grounds of him being a Slytherin and not one of their own, like everyone expected.

A thoughtful frown, that was completely fake, crossed over Harry’s features. “He really was quite mad at me. He even banned me from brewing in his class for the next few lessons!”

So they wouldn’t get rid of the horde following them around for a while. Well, at least as long as Harry was with them. Maybe Professor Snape’s method would help, and they could simply ban Harry from doing pranks with them as long as this, probably short lived, period of popularity would last.

——

“So do you think that we could beat Voldemort with a dementor?”

“What are you blabbing on about, Potter?”

Harry took a second to worry his lip, then he cocked his head and looked up at professor Snape. “I was thinking-“ Snape’s face contorted into a sneer “-and my mind kept going back to that thought of “Can Voldemort cast a patronus?” and honesty? I don’t think so! So how likely do you think it is that — if I could capture a dementor — I could feed Voldemort to it?”

The potions professor twitched slightly every time Harry spoke the Dark Lord’s name, but didn’t otherwise change his posture or expression in any way. When the boy had finished his little ramble, Snape sighed.

“Potter, these meetings are for students having trouble within their houses or with schoolwork, not for the fantasies of a teenager with an overinflated ego.”

“Oh.” Harry pouted, thought for a second and then grinned. “I’ve got those, too?”

“Get out of my office, Potter.”

——

When Harry stepped into the headmaster’s office — again — he was decidedly not alone.

He honestly couldn’t decide if that was better or worse, considering the fact that he thought he recognized the pair, who were staring right back at him.

Harry was pretty sure that these were the Flamels.

Of course they were. Life just wanted to see him suffer.

“Hello sir,” he said in a forced pleasant voice that hopefully didn’t give away any of the curses that wanted to come out of his mouth instead. It just wouldn’t do for him to give up his slightly-chaotic-but-nice-student facade in front of the headmaster. “You wanted to speak to me?”

Dumbledore, who had seemingly been deep in thought — or half asleep, Harry wasn’t sure — glanced over to him and smiled. “Harry, do come in. You remember the magical artifact I spoke to you about in your first year here at Hogwarts?”

Harry nodded. How could he forget.

“Good, good.” The headmaster stroked his beard for a few moments before going on. “Then I would like to start by telling you, that nothing suspicious has happened yet, that would warrant you to worry about Voldemort returning.”

Harry nodded. He knew that much, after all. “That’s good to hear, sir.” He wasn’t sure if he managed to sound quite as relieved as he should, but Dumbledore didn’t seem to notice. Or the old man simply didn’t care. 

Then something clicked and a thought sprang to the forefront of his mind.

How had he not thought of this earlier? It was brilliant! If anyone would know if Voldemort could cast a patronus, it would be Dumbledore!

“Sir, I’ve got a question!”

——

They were once again sitting in the room of requirement, studying for final exams. Fred didn’t even want to imagine the pain and suffering History of Magic would cause him if he actually wanted a good grade; Professor Delphis, they had soon realized, was even more brutal as the history teacher than she had been in Defense against the Dark Arts.

And the worst thing about that was, that now Fred knew someone who actually enjoyed History of Magic. But she didn’t only seem to like her new subject, she really — really — seemed to love it.

“I thought you didn’t take all of the electives this year?”

Ginny was lying on the back of the couch Hermione had occupied and looked over the older girl’s shoulder. Apparently she was very interested in the notes Hermione was taking, probably looking through the material to see what electives would suit her best.

George, Harry, and Fred immediately perked up from where they themselves had been slouching over three different essays.

“What did you just say?” That was Harry, green eyes blazing as he stared in Hermione’s general direction. He had taken his glasses of about half an hour ago, claiming he could concentrate better on actually writing if he didn’t see what he had already written down.

His argument was sound, if lacking the bit of logic that Fred liked his actions to have. But then, he himself didn’t need glasses to see, so what did he know?

Ginny shot the other girl a look that captured the “Oops?” she wanted to say, but didn’t dare vocalize, quite well.

“Are you telling me…”

“That you actually had a time-turner this whole time?”

Hermione lifted her chin defiantly. “You won’t get to even see it!”

When Harry started giggling maniacally next to him, Fred took a few steps  to the side away from the other teenager. A giggling Harry was a highly dangerous Harry.

The older girl present seemed to share his opinion on that matter, and a guarded expression shifted over her face. “What is it? What’s so funny?”

“You-“ Harry tried to answer, but was cut off by another bout of laughter. “You just couldn’t help yourself, cou- could you?”

Fred didn’t immediately know what the other boy meant. He and his twin shared a look that was disrupted when George’s eyes went wide and he started grinning.

It only took a moment more for Fred’s own mind to also make the connection.

Half a minute later Hermione, whose cheeks were barely burning from the embarrassment anymore, was sitting in the room of requirement, surrounded by the hysterical laughter of three Weasleys and one boy-who-lived.

One day she was going to snap and kill them all. She just knew it. And nobody would be able to blame her for it.