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The last few days had been filled with nothing but snow.
Snow, pain and grief, with a white layer covering the entirety of the Encanto. It had been a tough five days for the entire Madrigal family, for Félix too. His heart ached beyond belief, but he knew the one who suffered the most was Pepa.
Even though Julieta’s cooking had made the physical pain and the bleeding disappear, not even magical healing could soothe the whirlwind of emotions that she must be going through after… after the loss. Just thinking about it made all of Félix tense up, as he thought about what could have been. The start of their own little family, taken from them in an instance like a cruel game.
He couldn’t imagine the emotions she must be feeling, or rather, what looked to be a complete lack of any emotions at all, as Pepa spent the days lying on their bed, staring blankly into the ceiling with no energy to do anything at all. Nothing else but to cry until her body was out of tears, and got the cycle to then repeat.
She looked like an empty husk devoid of joy, truly broken as he saw her stare into nothingness for hours on end. She didn’t move, Pepa didn’t speak, and Félix was the one who always had to lead her to the bathroom, his wife feeling so bad that she couldn’t even handle that without assistance. It broke Félix’s heart.
He knew it must hurt, hell, he was hurting too. Who wouldn’t? But Pepa’s pain seemed to be on a completely other plain, and it terrified him beyond belief. Especially when she stopped eating after the third day. The only thing he’s managed to get her to ingest in the last two days was water and half an arepa, the rest of the food he left at her bedside table going completely untouched. He was terrified, knowing that eating was important in her recovery, but he couldn’t exactly force feed her against her will. All he could do was hope, while spending every waking moment by her side, encouraging her while making sure he would be there for her every step of the way.
They would heal together, he wouldn’t let her go through this alone. No matter how long it took, Félix would be there through it all, and he hoped that his regular happy Pepa would soon return. Not for his own sake, but for her. She didn’t deserve all of the horrible emotions going through her, she hadn’t deserved this disaster either. She was too good for it, too wonderful.
Seeing her in pain hurt him. It felt like he was being stabbed over and over as sorrow spread whenever he saw her face so devoid of emotion. If it had been possible to switch places, for him to take over everything she must be feeling, he would have done it in an instant to spare her the pain. Pepa didn’t deserve to feel anymore pain, especially not pain like this.
Once Félix was sure of the fact that Pepa wouldn’t touch her lunch, he simply let out a sigh of defeat. Her water glass on the bedside table had frozen solid by the solid temperature in the room, and the floor was covered in snow. He took the glass and put it outside of their door, hoping that it could get warm enough to melt. While the rest of the Encanto was also covered in snow, it was still above freezing, with the snow simply staying because of the magic. Félix and Pepa’s room though, was as cold as a tundra, and Félix had made sure to layer Pepa up in as many layers as possible to not catch a cold.
Afterwards he takes a new glass and fills it with water from the bathroom sink, and puts it on the table. Pepa is not making notice of him and simply keeps staring into the ceiling with no expression. She hasn’t taken notice of him in hours, not even a glance, not answering to anything, touches or voices. He was still not going to leave her alone though, Pepa needed to know he wouldn’t leave her for anything.
He sits by her bed for another hour, feeling the temperature drop slightly, and he is immediately up from his chair, walking towards their wardrobe to get an extra blanket, making sure to choose one with a texture Pepa didn’t despise. Even if she didn’t answer, he still wanted her comfort to be prioritized. That is also why he made sure to take out her braid and brush it for her, before braiding it once more before they went to sleep every night, since Pepa didn’t have the energy to do it herself. She always felt uncomfortable with knots and tangles, and he didn’t want her to feel off as she began to run her hands through it again.
He really hoped she would soon, he hoped for any sign of her quirks to return, regardless if it was to cope with stress or regulate happy emotions. At least her quirks would be her showing and handling emotions, and at this point, Pepa experiencing or showing any emotion physically was what Félix was longing for. Anything except the horrible expressionless face staring blankly into the distance.
Félix keeps sitting by her side, watching her as time passes. He speaks to her, and she never answers, not at first. After going on for almost an hour about how much he loves her and always would, she responds with a groan barely above a whimper, and all of Félix’s immediately feel relief wash over him. It was the first sound he’s heard from her in days that wasn’t related to the sound of sobbing.
“Pepa?” he asks, eyes never leaving his wife. She lets out another groan, and Félix sees how she shifts under the covers, face facing him, eyes on him. Instead of emptiness, he sees pain, raw uncensored pain to such a degree he didn’t even know it was possible. It makes his heart ache and he has to fight the urge to shiver. She looks so exhausted with large bags around her eyes, with her face still red from all the sporadic crying.
He sees how she tries to open her mouth to speak, only for her voice to be caught in her throat. She coughs, and Félix immediately scoots closer and places his hand on her shoulder for comfort. He sees how she swallows, and then she tries again, words coming out strange and unfamiliar, like they usually do when she has recovered from the times when she gets so overwhelmed it is physically impossible for her to speak.
“I…it hurts so much,” she says, voice low and raspy. Seconds pass, and the tears well down her face again, but to Félix relief, he hears the sound of thunder. He’s never been so relieved to hear her thunder, it was the first display of her power that wasn’t snowing since the incident, and the relief that washed over him was strong. Thunder meant emotion. True, it was sadness and overwhelming pain, but it was emotion .
He immediately throws all the layers of blankets aside, scoops her up in his arms and cries as he embraces her.
“I know mi vida, I know. But I won’t leave your side, not now, not ever.”
For the first time in days, she hugs him back. A hope awakens in him.
They would get through this, together.