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Seventeen Syllables

Summary:

Inspiration hit me in the face with a shovel: in the form of very bad haikus.
So obviously I'm making this your problem.

(This started out as me writing poems, whilst being very sad. But lately (around chapter 80) I've been living life how I wanted, finally happy with who I am and will be. Wrote this mostly for myself, but you can read it too)

D̶a̶i̶l̶y̶ ̶u̶p̶d̶a̶t̶e̶s̶
U̶p̶d̶a̶t̶e̶s̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶I̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶ ̶s̶a̶d̶
Updates whenever I feel like sharing :)

𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝟲𝟲 (and 82) 𝗛𝗔𝗦 𝗔 𝗦𝗨𝗜𝗖𝗜𝗗𝗘 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗣𝗟𝗦 𝗦𝗞𝗜𝗣 𝗜𝗧 𝗜𝗙 𝗜𝗧 𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗦 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗨𝗡𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗧𝗔𝗕𝗟𝗘

 

(Started: 20-02-2022)

Chapter 1: Waking

Notes:

Welp I guess I'm doing this now. Enjoy, or not, do whatever

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Against my own will
I wake up, every morning
Hoping, I have died

Notes:

Very shitty haiku, I know. It's probably the only sort of poetry I can write

(Update 14-12-2022: The haikus get better (I think?) Some of them I really do like and I think they can be quite poetic :))

Chapter 2: Coward

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I don't want to die
I just want to stop living
But I'm a coward

Notes:

Should I add more warning tags? I don't actually think anybody's gonna read this tho...

Chapter 3: Friends

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I want to have friends
Is that too much to ask for
Here I am, alone

Notes:

Looking back at these, my haikus suck even more compared to when I wrote them

Chapter 4: Shallow

Notes:

Am I posting two chapters in a day??? Yes, yes I am. Also wtf thank you for the kudos. But why would you read this? Genuinely confused.

Potential
!!Trigger Warning!!
This (bad) haiku is about cutting, so don't read it if you don't want to. There are more chapters that mention knives, so be careful

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The cuts are shallow
Not cut deep enough to bleed
But enough to feel

Notes:

Honestly, this is one of my favourites. I'm gonna try to write a poem, but it might take a while, so you're stuck with these haikus lmao.

Also, can't believe the notes are longer than the poem

Chapter 5: Books

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

If not for the books
Or the television shows
I would have been gone

Notes:

"Books" includes fanfics ofc ;D

Chapter 6: Wish

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I just wish to sleep
And never wake up again
My wish didn't come true

Notes:

This was me today lmao. Had a meltdown btw, told my sister 'bout my problems. Kinda nervous for the reaction of my parents...

Also! I changed the title! I mean, it wasn't really a title. It's now "Seventeen Syllables" instead of "work in progress, no title yet"

Chapter 7: People

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Do people like me
Or are they lying to me
When will I find out

Notes:

Honestly, f it. I'm gonna post a lot of these haikus today. Deal with it

Chapter 8: Sleeplessness

Notes:

We did it! Finally reached a 100+ words, man that took a while

Chapter Text

Sleepless nights this week
It is just me, making time
For me and my thoughts

Chapter 9: Tears

Chapter Text

The tears didn't show up
It's like they have disappeared
So now I feel numb

Chapter 10: Numbness

Chapter Text

Let me feel something
I want to feel emotions
Anything but this

Chapter 11: Remember

Chapter Text

When did I feel joy
Or something not depressing
I can't remember

Chapter 12: Walls

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Do my parents care
If so, why don't they show it
Walls stand between us

Notes:

Walls was supposed to be "a wall", but that would make 6 syllables instead of 5 and aaaaahhhhhh

Also, don't really know if this haiku is very true anymore... My parents are more affectionate towards me now

Chapter 13: Burden

Chapter Text

I am a burden
Why am I even alive
I will never know

Chapter 14: Deserving

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Am I deserving
Of food, that keeps us alive
But I don't want that

Notes:

Probably my least favourite haiku

Chapter 15: Release

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

They were bottled up
All the tears came flooding out
I missed this feeling

Notes:

It feels refreshing, right? I mean, it sucks, but it's better than nothing

Chapter 16: Presence (a shitpost)

Notes:

A shtpost mostly

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The sound fades away
But I still feel the presence
Of screeching children

Notes:

Like, gddamn child, why must you hold a screaming contest at 6AM

Chapter 17: Children (a shitpost)

Notes:

A message to the kids running outside

Chapter Text

Stop fucking screaming
Why do you think this is fun
I just want to sleep

Chapter 18: Appetite

Notes:

Alright, back with the more "serious" topics

Chapter Text

I am not hungry
My appetite has been gone
For quite some time now

Chapter 19: Lazy

Notes:

It's gotten to the point where I am too lazy to eat or drink

Chapter Text

I am not lazy
I'm lacking motivation
There is a difference

Chapter 20: Melancholy

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The melancholy
"Feelings of pensive sadness"
What a pretty word

Notes:

"𝐌𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐲"
𝑎 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑓 𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑑𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠, 𝑡𝑦𝑝𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑛𝑜 𝑜𝑏𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒.

Chapter 21: Lazy pt. 2

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"For once in your life
Just do something productive
Stop being lazy"

Notes:

I tried okay. I tried.

Chapter 22: Promises

Notes:

I'm sorry therapist, I broke my promise.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

I have promised her
I would at least try to stop
The knife was too close

Notes:

If you are struggling with selfharm pls try Calm Harm. It's an app that I think really helps :D. It gives you a lot of option to do instead of /that/ and gives you distractions and shows your progress.

I use it and I think it's nice.

Chapter 23: Time

Chapter Text

The clock keeps ticking
Even when I'm in my mind
Time stops for no one

Chapter 24: Alone

Notes:

Your feelings are valid.
You are valid.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

You are not alone
Even when you think you are
Right now, people care

Notes:

I have bamboozled you muhahaha, you thought this would be sad, nay? Well, no, it's actually a comforting haiku!

Chapter 25: End

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I have stopped caring
I feel empty and alone
I want it to end

Notes:

This was one of the first haikus I wrote, that's why it's so bad (the newer ones suck too). But yeah, it fits the vibe/my current mood

Chapter 26: Win

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I made them all cry
Therapist, teacher and more
An absolute win

Notes:

Honestly I think it's so funny when they cry, like, wow I'm supposed to be crying, how the turns tabled

Chapter 27: Parties

Chapter Text

I don't want to go
But if I don't, they'll hate me
Even when I'm there

Chapter 28: Sleep

Chapter Text

I am so tired
But I never fall asleep
Always in my bed

Chapter 29: Tired

Chapter Text

I don't eat or sleep
So tired throughout the day
But I cannot stop

Chapter 30: Stuck

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

It's stuck in my throat
It needs to get out of there
Mouth full of acid

Notes:

This is about throwing up if ya didn't already know ;)

Chapter 31: ED

Notes:

ED stands for Eating Disorder, I didn't just name this chapter after some random dude. It would be funny tho

Chapter Text

Wasting so much food
Better to throw it all up
Was fat anyways

Chapter 32: Fake

Notes:

Hello im not dead (tho I wish i was lol)
Bad couple of days, will try to stick to the schedule. No promises

Chapter Text

Something is so wrong
I don't know if I'm dreaming
Everything is fake

Chapter 33: Consequences

Chapter Text

If this is all fake
There are no consequences
I could do anything

Chapter 34: Possibilities

Notes:

It's not real anyways

Chapter Text

I could hurt myself
Maybe hurt the fake people
Why would it matter

Chapter 35: Remember pt. 2

Notes:

Me, 3 days late, wearing roller skates and sipping a Starbucks: Suh, dude

Chapter Text

Why did I do that
When did I even do it
I can't remember

Chapter 36: Denial

Notes:

At this state I know I'm not /okay/ okay, but people really are exaggerating how bad this is smh

Chapter Text

Everything is fine
We are all just a-okay
Nothing is wrong with me

Chapter 37: Lost

Notes:

Step aside [insert well known poet cuz I dont know any], there's a new sheriff in town

Chapter Text

Who am I really
I have changed to fit their needs
But I've lost myself

Chapter 38: Fault

Notes:

Huuuuuuge thanks to Ripixal, PUPPETpaint and KitSeren (especially KitSeren) and the 47 guests that left kudos :D. I know I said that I don't care about kudos but they make me really happy(!)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Don't blame me for it
It wasn't only my fault
Believe me for once

Notes:

Also who is the f̶u̶c̶k̶e̶r̶ lovely person that subscribed? Because I will treasure you forever.

Chapter 39: Snap

Notes:

Constructed like a shitpost, is actually kinda dark: this haiku or my life?

Chapter Text

Rubber band goes snap
Tinglies in mah fingertips
Don't look at the knife

Chapter 40: Intrusive Thoughts

Notes:

So I've been writing this poem (since chpt 4), but I'm stuck lmao. I was looking at songs for more inspiration but a lot of songs dont actually rhyme???? I haven't found a single one on Spotify that rhymes throughout the whole song

Chapter Text

Stop showing me this
I don't want that to happen
Get out of my head

Chapter 41: Don't Look

Chapter Text

Please don't look at me
Just ignore my existence
Forget I was here

Chapter 42: Know

Notes:

Thanks mom

Chapter Text

I now know for sure
School is more important
Than my physical health

Chapter 43: Sorry

Chapter Text

"This is not healthy.
Take better care of yourself."
I know, I'm sorry

Chapter 44: Ground

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Laying on the ground
Please take the ache of my joints
And my body too

Notes:

I mean, while ur at it why not swallow my body whole and bury me?

Chapter 45: Please

Chapter Text

Why don't you get it
Could you please, for my sake
Be understanding

Chapter 46: Why

Chapter Text

My head is cloudy
My feelings have now gone numb
What is wrong with me

Chapter 47: My Greatest Desire

Notes:

My day be so fine, then boom:
Depression

Chapter Text

Everything was great
Suddenly I feel so sad
I want a good day

Chapter 48: Hate

Notes:

Me looking at the calendar: EYYYYY

(...am I cheering because of 420 or Bakugous birthday? You'll never know)

Chapter Text

They f*cking hate me
They all hate me they hate me
All of them hate me

Chapter 49: Boiling

Notes:

Dedicated to my younger brother, who always complains about me, never apologises for his behaviour and hurtful words.

He is responsible for a lot of depressive episodes and scars, and I reaaally want to be petty and say that to his face, just to make him feel a fraction of what I felt. But that's really mean and manipulative and I dont want to be a bad person and aaaaahhh

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

He makes my blood boil
Never apologises
Never even cared

Notes:

I asked him if he would care if I died, and he, without missing a beat, dead serious, said no. I still think about it sometimes...

Chapter 50: Break

Notes:

2nd update today?!?!? Gasp

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

I want to break him
So that he knows how I feel
Because he broke me

Notes:

I wont tho, I'm not him

Chapter 51: Guilt

Notes:

Me, shouting at the mirror: Bish stop complaining

Chapter Text

I have a great life
Kind parents, enough money
All I feel is guilt

Chapter 52: Care

Chapter Text

No one even cared
They never cared about me
I don't even care

Chapter 53: Doubt

Notes:

Not me googling BPD and BP to justify my behaviour and moodswings to feel less guilty and alone 😩✋🏼

...that shiz kinda toxic ngl 😐🤨

Chapter Text

I have no reason
To keep acting like I do
Someone's got it worse

Chapter 54: Full

Notes:

Me eating an entire cake: Regret

Chapter Text

All I'm feeling is
So overwhelmingly full
Get it out of me

Chapter 55: The Culprit

Notes:

I haven't been in the mood to write anything, but decided I can't just ✨leave✨. Also, rubber bands suck; instead try a kazoo. It legit sounds amazing and lifts your mood.

Chapter Text

My wrists are aching
Blue spots littered on red skin
Rubber band stands out

Chapter 56: Tell You

Notes:

When I'm too sad to write sad poems you know shit's happening

Chapter Text

If only you knew
The thoughts racing through my mind
I'd never tell you

Chapter 57: Take Care

Notes:

So one of my friends(?) has an ED and I'm aggressively trying to help them by talking about it and letting them know they are a person worthy of food and affection, but j think it came out quite harsh??? Idk anymore man, its 1 AM and I'm running on 5 hours sleep

Chapter Text

Listen to my words
I know I'm a hypocrite:
Take care of yourself

Chapter 58: Lonely

Notes:

Me laying on the ground whilst rave music is playing on the background: :'(((((
When I'm playing along with my kazoo: :')))

This is kinda cringe and I'm pretending I dont care

Chapter Text

Oh to be alone
To enjoy the quiet peace
But never lonely

Chapter 59: First

Notes:

The comments??? Make me so??? Happy??? Thank you everybody who commented!!!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

I hurt myself first
Punishing, isolating
So no one else can

Notes:

I'm hella proud of myself, I've been clean for 38 days 😎

Chapter 60: Toxic

Notes:

So I've recently found out that I'm kinda toxic. So obviously that means I'm gonna think about this and feel even worse for ruining peoples lives, feeling more guilt because I've caused so much pain and just sit here and feel sad for myself haha

Chapter Text

Venom coats my words
The air poisoned by my breath
For I am toxic

Chapter 61: Lost pt. 2

Notes:

Back at it again with my bs 😎

Chapter Text

The traits that define me
They always are uncertain
Who am I but lost?

Chapter 62: Ear That Listens

Notes:

Gosh am I tired of being the therapist friend.

Chapter Text

Ear that listens
The shoulder you can cry on
Yours to use, that's all

Chapter 63: Content

Notes:

Man, I feel so at peace with the world now. I can't help but think to myself: "This is how I would go. Perfectly content with how things are, satisfied with how my life was." This will probably be the best feeling I'm gonna have, so why not fantasize about it being my last?

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

At peace with the world
A gentle breeze flows through hair
One last breath taken

Notes:

Oh I forgot to wish y'all a happy Pride month (on the last day too haha)

Happy Pride🌈

Chapter 64: Repressed Memories

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Images in my head
Sudden flashes blinding me
No longer enchained

Notes:

It was 3AM and I was just scrolling the youtube shorts when I stumbled on a video where some guys were talking about how they were beat as a kid. Idk, it unlocked some unpleasant memories. I couldn't fall asleep after that.

Chapter 65: Eyes That Watch

Notes:

Idk how I'm feeling, so have something vague and overdone

Chapter Text

The eyes that watch
Stay hidden in the darkness
Strike where it hurts most

Chapter 66: Last Haiku

Summary:

𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗜𝗦 𝗔 𝗦𝗨𝗜𝗖𝗜𝗗𝗘 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗣𝗟𝗦 𝗦𝗞𝗜𝗣 𝗜𝗧 𝗜𝗙 𝗜𝗧 𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗦 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗨𝗡𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗧𝗔𝗕𝗟𝗘 (the author is okay, they kept the chpt because they want to accept themselves and their past, even if it wasn't their proudest moment)

Notes:

Alright I'm fucking back. So yeah... dont read this. I'm still alive btw, because I chickened out at the last minute.

I still fucking hate myself, but I cant bring myself to do it. I'm a coward: confirmed.

Shall i delete this chapter tho????

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Hi there!

Maybe you've seen that this chapter is called last haiku? Because it is. Funnily enough I've added the "Major Character Death" tag, I thought it was funny.

Yes, yes. This is a suicide note, blah blah blah. But I promised a haiku:

To dream is to hope
For better times will arrive
I'm sick of waiting

Boom. That's it. Im sorry I won't write more, I'm sorry that I didn't write the rhyming poem. I hope that these haikus made you a little happier in these dark times and that you will continue what I didn't. Staying alive that is.

Thank you for reading this. Thank everyone who ever clicked on this, left kudos or just read the summary.
Thank you. Big ol' thanks to:

Ripixal
PUPPETpaint
KitSeren
lesbian_vodka
Thunderbirds_and_Lightning (i love the name)
French_Unicorn
Ghostixi
chai1tea
reichtrash
ApparantlySleepDeprived (honestly? same)
NAOmic_88
Aizawas_adopted_child (yaaaasss mha)
rj_likes_jams (i like jam too)
Max_091

And the 56 guests that left kudos :))))
Thank you for the kudos

Another big ol thanks to:
KitSeren (hey its you again!!! Wow)

And guests:
Helloooo
O
Em

Thanks for all the kind comments, i really appreciate them and I hope you are doing better :D

I dont have more to say, but I wish you all a good day/night wherever you are. You might not love yourself, but please do note that I WILL love you, even if I dont know you.

If you see this message, pls get some help. Talk to somebody, anybody, just dont face these problems alone. Dont forget that you deserve to feel happy and something nice (like, a succulent or some delicious food).

Take your meds and/or drink enough water, cuz you need to stay hydrated! Talk to your friends or family (if you want) and just enjoy life. That's all I wanted to say.

Goodbye

Notes:

(This is the same note as the one above my note)

Alright I'm fucking back. So yeah... dont read this. I'm still alive btw, because I chickened out at the last minute.

I still fucking hate myself, but I cant bring myself to do it. I'm a coward: confirmed.

Shall I delete this chapter tho????

Chapter 67: Post Talk

Notes:

Damn can you believe it already August?? Also pls I need to know if i should delete last chapter (cuz it really sucked looking back at it)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Perceiving the world
It is different than before
Better, in a way

Notes:

I talked to my parents. It was nice.

Chapter 68: Losing Contact

Notes:

Hello folks, more consistent updates because school has started (like, almost a month ago). Yeah, life's been okay. Could be better, but hey, we're still alive and kicking, so that's a good thing

Chapter Text

Gone is our laughter
Some sideways glances remain
We're losing contact

Chapter 69: Candlelight

Notes:

Eyyyyyyy 69 hahahaha *cries*
But yeah, I miss my friend. I can see that they want us to be friends, but we both dont know how.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Candle once so bright
Conversations falling still
The flame has died out

Notes:

We used to be best buddies (but now we're not, I wish you could tell me whyyyyyyy).

Chapter 70: Move

Notes:

Hello it's been a while. So because I associate haikus (and this fic) with coping with depression, I (surprise) get sad when writing. And avoid it.

But I do like writing haikus so imma do it more often, even if they're not sad

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Voices whispering
Body moving on it's own
Stopping just in time

Notes:

But yeah just had the weirdest experience: intrusive thoughts + suicidal thoughts = a not so good time (apparently).
Like damn, almost offed myself and just barely resisted to throttle someone. I even raised my arm to grab their throat before stopping myself. That was scary

Chapter 71: Recovery

Notes:

So fun fact my mom made a LOT of tapioca pearls (aka she just cooked the whole packet) and now we have so much that i just keep eating them. I've drank more milk tea in the past 2 days than i've drank any liquid last week. Maybe this is just her way of making me less dehydrated....

Chapter Text

An itch in my bones
For once my mind is silent
Period of rest

Chapter 72: Simple Thoughts

Chapter Text

Lay on the cold floor
A dim light coming from my phone
Simple thoughts, fleeting

Chapter 73: Porcelain

Notes:

Bro I am 👌🏼 close to offing myself and I can't believe my mom bullshit me into being less su*cidal. Damn.

Okay she's not a bad person and I guess she cares about me but she has a really odd way of showing it

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

A porcelain cup
Adorned with scratches and scars
Shatter me like a vase

Notes:

Hello luvs! This is a sign that you should take care of yourself. Drink some water, eat a little snack and breathe in some fresh air. Maybe go for a walk? Or not, do whatever you'd like and be safe <3

Chapter 74: Trickle of Blood

Notes:

My current record for being clean of SH is 90 days, and I almost reached 91 but then I fell into a ✨mood✨ so yeah

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Quick painless slices
A trickle of blood drips down
Too easy, too numb

Notes:

Only thing keeping me going rn is Mob Psycho 100 ✊🏼😔

Chapter 75: Chain

Chapter Text

Chained around the throat
Dark spots dance, one final gasp
Enslaved to myself

Chapter 76: Beads

Chapter Text

Red pearls roll around
Admire how the beads fall
A trail of crimson

Chapter 77: Fullest Days

Notes:

Happy 1 year anniversary of Seventeen Syllables! Thank you all for reading these haikus, and let's make our own better future.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Live in the moment
Celebrate your fullest days
Become your best self

Notes:

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and New Year and Lunar New Year and Valentines day, Black History Month and happy birthday and every other special day since i last posted. Hope life's treating you well, and if not treat yourself well. Love you <3

Chapter 78: Greeting

Notes:

Can you believe it? After 5 long years of therapy I am finally free! Life has been nothing but be shitty to me, and despite that I'm still here. I actually started liking myself more and more, appreciating who I am and thinking how other just don't realise my worth.

You are amazing and worth every bit of the world, be it food, time, money, effort or literally anything else.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

I have reached the point
When I look in the mirror
A warm smile greets me

Notes:

Lately I've been doing great tbh, to the point where I actually really enjoy just being myself and living in the moment. It's really strang to think about it, and an ever stranger feeling but I think I'll get used to it :D

It took me a long time to get here, so looking back at times like these make me... disappointed. I do know that they are a part of me, and if I'm going to accept myself I should accept this version of myself too.

I'm going to make more haikus, but rather about my recovery and the simple joys in life.

(This is actually a comment I posted as a response back at chpt 66)

Chapter 79: Bumpy Road

Notes:

Hello everyone! Life has been really sh!try to me, but I think I'll get through it. I believe you can too

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Healing will take time
Be proud of the steps you made
The road has its bumps

Notes:

I had been clean of SH for over 166(!) days, really proud of myself for that. Then something happened and now the counter is at 0, but now I'll just have to strive for 200 days. I'll get there, eventually

Recovery and healing is never a straight line up, it can go down and maybe stay that way for a while. And that's okay. The line will go up

Chapter 80: Warmth

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Melt away the ice
Fuel the engine inside me
Warm the heart and soul

Notes:

I've noticed my hands began to feel warmer to the touch, ever since I started taking care of myself more (aka eating healthy and just. eating. instead of starving myself yk)
They used to be ice cold and numb, but now they are really hot like a tiny heater. I like it.

Chapter 81: Companion

Notes:

Oh life sucks so bad rn, but alas, im still kicking.
(I'm so lonely it's kinda sad (/derogatory))

Chapter Text

My nothing, my none
You're my only companion
Embrace me slowly

Chapter 82: My goodbye

Notes:

This is my last message to you all. Potentially triggering, take care of yourself.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

I have nothing to say to you all. I am thankful for all of your support and I hope that I was able to inspire you to keep living.

And bcs I'm funny I did in fact add the "major character death" tag.

Stay alive. Live a happy life, laugh. Appreciate the world and people around you. Pet a dog or smth.

Watch mp100. Play Vincent: The Secret of Myers or Therapy with Dr. Albert Krueger. Uhhhh.

Tell your parents/siblings/family/friends you love them.

Goodbye,

The author of "Seventeen Syllables", October 27 2023

Notes:

I truly am grateful

Chapter 83: I survived

Notes:

I keep coming back like a cockroach. Luckily, I am a master at makeup so no one was able to tell.

Cockroach in disguise

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

This is getting exhausting.

Notes:

(29-10-2023: I am sorry, hopefully i wont have to change the tags again. Goodbye)

Chapter 84: 🍉

Chapter Text

Free Palestine 🇵🇸