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When Foolish arrived in Los Angeles, he didn’t expect this to happen to him. It was actually the last thing he would’ve predicted if he had the chance.
Being around his friends for the first time since he got close with them was truly one of the best things that has ever happened to him. Seeing Tina and Quackity and Karl all at once was genuinely amazing, but being around this group meant that there was a lot of constant joking.
And by joking, he means flirting.
Absolutely unabashed flirting with laughing to disguise the face of it all. Masks in a public space just to cover the gentle tint of their words, smiling eyes just so they don’t have to face the reality of their actions.
It was a mutual thing between all of them— Tina serving as a sort of relief— and it didn’t stop, not for one minute of their meetup. At least, not when they were all together. Foolish found himself fucked when they split up, leaving him and Karl to stay in a hotel room together since the other two lived in their own places; but that’s a dilemma for later in the night.
Seeing Karl for the first time in person was really magical, to say the least.
Karl looks like he glows in a way that would’ve never been perceivable through a screen, his eyes shining and his smile glistening. He’s like a walking angel, soft spoken yet also loud and enjoyable to be around. Foolish found himself having trouble looking away, but he did nothing to acknowledge that fact; he just peeled his eyes off time after time and ignored the aching in his chest.
The continuous, growing aching in his chest.
“FOOLISH!” Karl exclaims the first time their eyes meet, his slightly smaller figure running up to meet Foolish’s with an aggressive hug. His chin hooks over Foolish’s shoulder and he squeezes him close, practically panting with excitement. “Wait, shit, do I call you Noah now? Do you want me to?”
Foolish just laughs in shock, still not quite present as he recovers from the surprise of seeing Karl in all his glory for the first time. His arms finally reach around Karl and hug him back, letting himself melt into the embrace quite easily. “Um… I—“ he stumbles, laughing quietly. “You can, if you want to.”
Karl doesn’t let go. “That’s almost scary. It’s like… it makes it even more real, which is crazy,” he gushes, stretching his neck so he’s even closer to Foolish. Foolish’s heart races and he tries not to think about what would happen if he pulled back and his chin was tilted only slightly up, leaving the perfect angle for Foolish to lean down and—
Karl sighs and pulls away, taking a small step back to stand in front of Foolish and look at him. He takes him in with long, dramatic, joking once-overs, and it makes Foolish feel weak.
“Stop, that’s— you’re weird,” Foolish laughs, a wide smile on his face because it just doesn’t seem to falter when Karl’s around.
“Shut up, let me look at you.”
So Foolish just looks at him right back. From his black shoes to his black jeans that fit him perfectly to his quirky blue hoodie that sizes on him just right, to his rings that reflect light so perfectly and his gentle smile and his wide eyes and his perfect hair.
Oh, fuck, this again.
It just gets worse from there, because Foolish realizes he failed to leave those late night thoughts in Ohio. They’re back and he realizes they will stay here until he acknowledges them.
Karl is really fucking pretty, and his laugh might just be the death of Foolish.
“Mm,” Karl hums sharply with a high-pitched voice, “I suppose you fit my standards.” Karl’s stupid, fake British accent is terrible, but Foolish says nothing.
Foolish actually finds himself laughing again, saying, “Happy to appeal.” There’s only a short pause, but Foolish knows that if he lets it drag on the room will fill steadily with tension, so he resets the atmosphere by asking, “When are we meeting the others?”
Karl smiles and breaks his heavy gaze on Foolish, turning to walk over to his open suitcase. He’s only really been in the hotel for an hour or so, therefore not having his suitcase unpacked yet. “We can leave whenever, but we have dinner reservations downtown at 5.” He messes with the contents of his suitcase for a moment before he randomly pulls out a fake red rose, one that stuns Foolish where he stands. “Here, take it.”
“Wha…” Foolish furrows his eyebrows in confusion.
Karl laughs and rolls his eyes. “I have a million of them, take it. It’s a welcome gift.”
Foolish shakes his head smiling, moving to take the rose from him. When he gets close enough, he can see an absurd amount of plastic roses poking from a plastic bag in Karl’s suitcase. “Where did you even get that many roses?” Foolish chuckles as he takes the rose from Karl, their fingers brushing as the item passes between them.
“The dollar store. I wanted to get some for everyone. Take two, honestly.”
Foolish shakes his head, frowning from how hard he’s smiling, “No, I think I’m okay with one. Thank you, darling. Do we have a vase?” Foolish jokes, glancing around the room for an object to serve as one.
Karl doesn’t respond right away, but Foolish doesn’t have time to check why before Karl is running into the bathroom. When he returns just as quick, he’s holding out a hotel water cup, a smile on his face that is just barely holding back a laugh. His face is a little pink, but Foolish assumes it’s because he’s holding his breath.
“Karl, you’re a genius!” Foolish exclaims sarcastically, rushing into the bathroom right behind him. “Quick, it needs water or else it’ll die!”
“Foolish, hurry!” Karl exaggerates in the same way that he says “hurry!” on stream, and it makes Foolish smile.
Foolish clumsily fills the cup up with the water on full blast, spilling more water than the amount that actually makes it into the cup. They’re both laughing uncontrollably as Foolish hurriedly places the flower into the cup that’s very obviously too short for its purpose, leaving the rose to fall over into the sink. Foolish says “Shoot!” under his breath and rushes to save it, picking it up and wiping it against Karl and then propping it up on the corner of the counter in the cup.
Foolish wipes his hands on Karl’s sleeve and admires his work. Karl pushes him playfully and they laugh, turning off the bathroom light with a sharp flick and exiting with tinted cheeks.
“Thank god for you, I was worried the flower was going to die,” Karl continues the bit, going back to his suitcase for no reason other than something to train his eyes on.
“I’m quite the hero, honestly,” Foolish chuckles, rolling up his sleeves and glancing around the small room. Karl starts digging in his suitcase again and it’s exactly then that Foolish realizes that there’s only one bed, smack dab in the center of the room and taunting him with its size.
There’s no couch either, is Foolish’s second thought. He keeps to himself and goes to his own suitcase, mindlessly asking, “Are you gonna unpack?”
Dinner is exciting. Meeting Tina and Quackity for the first time is something else that’s genuinely lovely, because he finds that Tina is even more wonderful in real life and that Quackity is the nicest person he’s ever met. Experiencing them all together is like a dream come true, and it’s absolutely perfect.
They get together and chat for a while, making jokes about the trip here and making time for Karl to exchange his dozens of plastic roses with everyone before heading out together to go to their reservation. Quackity drives and Karl gets the front seat, and even though Foolish is a little jealous, the car ride is almost more fun than anything. They listen to music and laugh until they can’t breathe, and by the time they finally consecutively decide on a song, they’re already at the restaurant.
They’re all dressed up a little, just for fun, just so Karl’s roses appear a little more fancy. Quackity takes a picture of Foolish holding one to the camera and posts it to twitter, leaving the masses to go absolutely wild over his handsomeness.
Karl responds to the tweet quickly saying, I gave him like 400 roses right before this and Foolish smiles to himself, knowing it’s true.
They tweet things here and there, but overall, their minds are focused on the people in front of them.
“I still can’t get over how attractive you are, Foolish,” Quackity jokes, pretending to be infatuated by overdramatized looks and batted lashes.
Foolish rolls his eyes and returns the act easily, “Oh, you flatter me Quackity.”
“I wonder if the fans will believe that we’re making out right now…” Quackity grins and pauses. “…I’m tweeting that.”
“Honestly maybe,” Karl jumps in, chuckling. “Seems like most of twitter thinks we’re dating anyway.” The careless shrug of his shoulders along with his statement almost stuns Foolish for a moment, but he’s quickly snapped out of it when Quackity chimes back in.
“I just replied to Bad, oh my god this is the best thing ever,” Quackity giggles, shaking his head giddily.
“What’d Bad even say?” Tina asks, smiling wide.
“He said ‘So this is where you two have been’ and I replied, ‘Yeah making out’—“ Quackity explains before bursting into laughter, the other three trailing right behind him. “I would totally kiss Foolish to be fair. Not as a joke.” And it’s clearly meant as a joke.
But then Karl just has to shatter that, chiming in with: “Me too. Honestly, I would kiss him right now if there weren’t people around.”
Foolish swallows. It doesn’t sound so much like teasing anymore. He says nothing as Quackity hops right on it.
“Don’t let the public stop you, Karl.” Quackity leans over the table on both hands, taunting Karl with his entire being. “Kissing Foolish is more important, I think we can all agree.”
Tina’s laughing and so is Karl behind his hand, but Foolish is trying his hardest to not look terrified. Is Karl really about to—
“Alright, bet.” He turns to Foolish and he barely has any time to think. “C’mere,” is the last thing he hears before Karl is leaning over his seat to kiss Foolish promptly on the lips.
It’s nothing magical by any means; Foolish’s lips were dry and it only lasted less than a second, and then Quackity starts cracking up and Tina’s got her head in her hands and Karl looks all too proud of himself. Karl’s very obviously red, too, Foolish notices.
Karl just kissed him.
But there’s no time to panic, not here. Everyone’s laughing and all Foolish really wants is to scream into his pillow like he could back in Ohio, but all he’s left with here is public interaction and no way to escape it.
He laughs along with them like he thinks it was funny too, but he can’t help but shake the thoughts. Did Karl feel it too? Is it real for him?
“I can’t believe you Karl,” Foolish jokes with a smile, even though he really means it. The feeling never leaves his gut the entire night, being brought up every single time a joke about it is made— and that happens a lot.
Even as they’re all gathered in Quackity’s house after dinner, it keeps happening.
It’s so plain and harmless that it almost doesn’t phase Foolish the second time. Quackity is shamelessly flirting with Foolish again and he’s returning it just as simply, as their dynamic calls for such. It doesn’t take long for Karl to jump in again; Foolish almost doesn’t even hear him say it over their laughter. It all happens so fast, quick enough to make Foolish question it’s actual significance.
“Don’t make me kiss you again, Foolish.” Karl rolls his eyes when Foolish looks slightly shocked. “You’re mine, stop flirting with Quack-city.”
Foolish has to clamp his dropped jaw shut as Quackity bounces back, “Oh, shut up, just ‘cause you kissed him once you think he’s all yours.”
“I’d say that justifies it,” Karl argues, a smug look on his face. “If I kissed him again would you let me have him?”
Quackity laughs outside of the bit. “Are you seriously going to kiss him again?”
“Maybe I will. Do you dare me?”
“What is wrong with you, Karl!” Foolish says, eyes wide in shock as he forces a playful smile.
“I’m not scared to,” Karl promises, looking Foolish directly in the eye on accident. Foolish has trouble swallowing as a result.
“Oh, I don’t doubt it,” Foolish mumbles, breaking the eye contact. He wets his lips just in case without thinking.
“Sure, Karl, kiss Foolish again, I dare you.”
Karl shrugs and then his lips are on Foolish’s just as fast as they were last time, leaving him breathless and stunned all at once. Karl pulls away only a tiny bit slower than he did last time, and the extra milliseconds make Foolish question his entire existence. How did he even get here?
This kiss was a lot more enjoyable than the last, even though Foolish would’ve never thought he’d have something to compare it to in the first place. The idea of it all on its own is enough to throw Foolish into a spiral of his own mind, but he tries to keep himself grounded as the three of his friends start their boisterous laughter all over again.
He joins in with them and tries to pretend he’s not thinking about it all night.
The rest of the fun passes without Karl kissing him again, even though it feels like he wants to. Foolish doesn’t miss the way Karl’s eyes linger near his mouth, doesn’t miss the way his jokes sound a little too honest.
Foolish feels like he’s on the edge of his seat all night, waiting, wondering if Karl is going to do it again. Kiss him and make everyone else laugh, kiss him for a joke. He’s permanently tainted by the anticipation that it might happen again.
But it doesn’t, and the time comes for the four to depart to their separate ways. Saying goodbye to each other is easy, knowing that they’ll reunite in a few days when they’re all free again.
Karl drives home in their rental car with Foolish occupating the front seat. They don’t really talk much except for random comments about the radio or the content of it; the weighted air presses down on Foolish’s lungs and keeps his words in.
Karl speaks randomly, louder than all of his other small remarks, “I call the left side.”
Foolish hums, tilting his head. “Of what?”
Out of the corner of his eye, Karl swallows. His eyes stay glued to the road as he elaborates, “Of the bed. At the hotel.”
Foolish bites his lip. “Oh. Okay.” The silence that follows is sure to murder him, so he continues, “That’s fine. I like the right side.”
“Cool.”
“Mhm.”
Foolish wants to jump out of the car for the rest of the quiet ride, but he ultimately makes it to the hotel alive and in one piece.
They don’t talk on the way in, only mumbling greetings to the guy at the counter. They don’t speak in the elevator, leaving the sound to the small buzzing of the giant machine. They make it to their room and still don’t say anything; Foolish wants it to end.
“Hey, um…” he starts softly, so as to not scare him. Karl turns to pay attention and Foolish feels himself fold. “Are you okay?”
Karl looks startled at the question, eyes flickering away and back and then away again. “I- yeah, I’m fine. Why?”
Foolish hesitates. “You just seem quiet.”
“Just… tired,” Karl ends up saying, scratching his head. “My social battery is just kind of… yeah.”
Foolish nods with a tiny smile. He knows how Karl gets, especially with his job, streaming, and wide social life.
“That’s okay. I just wanted to make sure.”
“Yeah.” Karl looks at his hands; distraction. “Thanks.”
“Of course.” Foolish waits to talk again, stupidly hopeful Karl might say more, but he doesn’t. “I’m… I'm gonna get ready for bed.”
“Okay, yeah. You can use the bathroom first.”
Foolish moves to his suitcase, hovering over the top of it as he retrieves his pajamas. He hesitates to offer, but eventually he gives in: “Do you want to get dressed while I’m in there? To save time?”
Karl looks up with wide eyes and then immediately averts his gaze, caught. “Oh, uh, sure. I’ll be quick, just ask before you come out?”
“Yeah, sure.”
Foolish treads his way into the overly bright bathroom with his clothes in his hands, shutting the sliding door behind him and taking a deep breath one he’s isolated. He takes his time changing with exhausted arms, afraid to go too fast and have to wait for Karl to be done. Having a space to himself for a second is nice, because he can sit on the closed toilet and run his hands through his hair and feel better, even if only for one second.
He waits extra minutes in there, partially for himself and partially to Karl’s benefit, before calling out to ask if Karl’s done. When he receives the permission to exit, he does and throws his dirty outfit at his suitcase. He doesn’t bother to pack it correctly; he didn’t unpack his clothes in the drawers like Karl did earlier today. When he asked why Karl does that, the brunet replied with something along the lines of it makes him feel more at home. Foolish didn’t think about it for long, but now, he wonders if it’s because they’re sharing this room together.
He snatches a charger quickly from his carry-on and notices Karl laying idly on his side of the bed, watching the TV which is switched to some random cartoon he just put on. It’s only 10:58 at night, Foolish reads from the bedside clock, a normal time for him to be awake, but he feels like he could crash and sleep twelve hours. He makes his way to his side of the bed— the sheets are perfectly unwrinkled so far— and crawls in, opting to plug his phone in once he’s situated.
Exhaustion radiates from his body as he sinks into the mattress. Finally, rest, despite the practically glowing body next to him.
They’re only a foot away, barely. Their shoulders could touch if they wanted them to. Their hands could brush even easier.
Foolish squeezes his eyes shut and doesn’t think about it. He doesn’t think about how he’d kill to hold Karl close and fall asleep with his nose buried in clean hair. He doesn’t think about how empty his hands feel, how cold his lips are.
He doesn’t. He wants to; he wants to turn to his right and look at Karl and kiss him better than the other two, but he doesn’t.
Instead, he turns sharply to his left, facing the edge of the bed, startlingly quick. He was so close to breaking.
“Foolish?”
Fuck.
“Yeah?”
“You okay?”
“Um…” Foolish feels his heartbeat quicken, “yeah, i’m good.”
“You sure?”
Foolish doesn’t respond, holding his stomach tightly as if it’ll fill the void where Karl should be.
“Is it weird?”
Foolish answers immediately, “No, no, not at all. It’s not weird.”
“Then… then why’d you turn away like that?” Karl asks softly, wavering.
“I just… sleep better on this side.”
Karl pauses, perhaps thinking. “Do you want this side of the bed? If it’s easier for you to sleep—“
“No, don’t worry about it.”
Karl hesitates again. When he talks, he whispers sadly. “Okay.”
Foolish bites his lip harshly and wills himself not to break. He won’t, he won’t give in. Karl kissed him first and so he’s going to crack first. Foolish won’t let himself get caught up in it.
“I’m going to sleep now, I think,” Foolish whispers hesitantly, unmoving and stiff.
“Oh okay. Do you want me to turn the TV down?”
“Uh, yeah, that would be great, thanks.”
“No problem.”
So Karl turns the TV down almost all the way, leaving only a gentle buzz that reaches their ears. It's good background noise and Foolish doesn’t mind the light so much. Foolish curls up a little closer to himself and shuts his eyes, craving some unconscious rest that he’s been deprived of for longer than he’d like. Foolish, back home in Ohio, is much less of a social person than one might think. Sure he has friends, but, he’d much rather spend his time at his computer playing games or streaming. Today was almost too much; but he’d never say that, not in case it made Karl upset.
But one his eyelids fall completely over his eyes, he recognizes immediately that he won’t be able to sleep for hours. There’s a certain coil in his gut that’s wound up too tight, an odd weight in his body that definitely is here to stay. He wants it to remove itself, but he doesn’t know what the source is.
Which leaves him with his thoughts; a completely dangerous act to be taking part in, especially with Karl only inches away. It’s a miracle Karl can’t see his face.
In Ohio, nights like these aren’t as difficult. Obviously, they’re easier to handle, since he could just throw a pillow against the wall and toss and turn until something felt right, but the feeling is all the same. Stretched, compressed, wound up, everything at once. Heavy, featherlight, and everything feels too close to him. He hears Karl breathing and can feel the sheets against his leg hairs.
Why would Karl kiss me? Twice?
Foolish frowns and squeezes his eyes shut. It’s not worth thinking about, he promises himself, it’ll only get worse. He’d already made an oath to not crack first; so he won’t. He’ll let Karl have a crisis over it first— if he’s even thinking about it. Fuck, he’s probably not even thinking about it. He’s probably ready to shut his eyes and sleep for the night.
After all, it was just a joke. A joke that happened twice. And was continuously brought up throughout the night.
Was it because he wanted to? Was he looking for an excuse?
Foolish’s leg twitches and he grimaces. He’s supposed to be asleep.
Karl does not want to kiss him, he’s sure of it.
…Foolish’s stomach drops, it sinks right into his ass, because oh god.
Foolish wants Karl to want to kiss him.
Foolish moves without thinking, bringing his hands up to his eyes and rubbing tiredly against them. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why would Karl ever want to kiss him? Why would he even think, for two seconds, about kissing—
“Noah…?”
How long has he been thinking for? Karl’s voice has dropped two octaves and it’s ragged along the edges, leaving a clean serrated cut against Foolish’s ears.
“Are you awake?”
Foolish’s heart pounds against his ribcage, feeling as though it breaks multiple of those bones and then some. Foolish— doesn’t know how to respond. His mouth feels dry and his hands feel cold. But he turns. He slowly positions himself on his back and then on his side, facing a nervous Karl.
Karl’s eyebrows are pinched and— not that Foolish is looking— but his lips almost look slightly bitten. He’s curled up the same way Foolish was, looking just a bit smaller than earlier.
Karl used his real name.
“…What time is it?” Foolish eventually forces out, sounding even more tired than Karl.
Karl cranes his neck, probably to see a clock, and replies, “It’s almost one.”
Foolish swallows in surprise. Almost two hours of being stuck in his head?
“Oh, okay.” Foolish clears his throat a little, trying not to sound nervous. He looks Karl right in his wide eyes, trying to hold some sort of support. “What’s… what’s up?”
Karl looks away immediately, and Foolish feels his insides cave in on themselves.
“I- I, um…” Karl hesitates, blinking harshly as if it’ll make whatever he needs to say easier. His eyes flicker everywhere as he talks, his tone changing tone every few seconds. “I’m sorry, that I… kissed you, twice, I just realized that I never even asked you if I could and that was probably really weird because we’ve never even met in real life before and I was just thinking about it because I would never want to make you uncomfortable or anything ever, I just thought it would be funny and I noticed how quiet you kind of were and I’m just… I’m worried that I did something wrong.” Karl breathes quickly. He takes a deep breath, “Did I do something wrong?”
“Karl,” Foolish calls, because it’s almost one in the morning and he’s tired of fighting his thoughts, “Karl.”
Karl swallows and meets his gaze again. “Yeah?”
Foolish scoots a bit closer to him on the bed and says the first thing that comes to mind without thinking about it first, because all he knows is that he wants to kiss Karl again; this time, for real.
It doesn’t matter if Karl was joking; Foolish isn’t, not this time around.
“Can I kiss you?” A pause, a breath, a small silence. “Like, actually? Like— like not as a joke?”
Karl appears stunned, his lips slightly parted in shock and his eyes wide with surprise. His eyes slide down from Foolish’s eyes slowly, his eyebrows relaxing a bit, as if he’s realizing what is being offered to him. He wets his lips promptly, and nods. He nods, because he wants Foolish to kiss him.
Foolish nods back like an idiot at one in the morning, and before he can let himself be scared, he slides a hand carefully under Karl’s cheek, his hand smushed between skin and pillow, and then leans down and kisses Karl softly, slowly.
It’s so much better than the other two, immediately. It’s so much more, because it’s slow and it feels like learning. Karl kisses him right back and they absolutely match; it’s nothing rushed, it’s new and it’s like water.
When they pull back for two seconds, they only go right back, pushing and pulling like the waves of the ocean in the time between high and low tide. Karl reaches out then, too, letting his hand go lax on Foolish’s shoulder, and they kiss like they’ll be here forever, like they have that much time in the world.
Foolish pulls back and Karl kisses his cheek, making his lips break into a smile that covers his entire face.
“That…” Foolish trails off, having no words for how lovely he feels.
“I’m still sorry I didn’t ask before I kissed you, though,” Karl brings up again, set on having his concern heard.
“I forgive you, it’s okay. I wanted it too, just… more like this.”
Karl smiles happily and Foolish feels his insides turn to goo, warmth replacing tightened coils and heavy weights. He feels like he could sleep right now and get the best rest of his life.
“Can I hold you?” Foolish asks quietly, a smile evident in his voice.
“Yeah, of course,” Karl says, and crawls right into Foolish’s arms and lays his head on his chest like it’s the easiest thing in the world; and that’s because it is. Of course the process isn’t short by any means; it has to start with discord calls that turn into sleep-coded ones that end up developing into something more, and that takes time. But even with all of that, it’s still easy, because it’s them, and it’s always been easy.
Foolish kisses the top of Karl’s hair and Karl squeezes him closer in appreciation. “Goodnight, Karl.”
“Goodnight, Foolish,” Karl says softly. There’s a short pause before he speaks again, “I can’t call you Noah yet.”
Foolish huffs a laugh. “That’s okay, nimrod. But you might have to, eventually.”
“And why’s that?”
“Well, if you’re going to be my boyfriend, you should probably—“
Karl just shrieks into Foolish’s shirt and Foolish laughs, holding him close and rubbing his back gently. “Shhh, be quiet. I’m sleeping. Snrrggg, mimimi…”
Foolish crinkles his eyes with joy and tilts his head down to bury his face in Karl’s hair. “Yeah, okay. Goodnight, darling.”
“Sorry, I can’t hear you because I’m sleeping.” He fake-snores again, and Foolish wants to kiss him over, and over, and over.
It’s then that he knows: none of it was ever a joke. Not even back in Ohio.