Work Text:
Apparently, there was a new policy at the gym. Lambert stared at the brightly coloured new posters that had gone up in disbelief. He wasn’t sure who’s crazy idea it was to change the membership options, but it meant he’d have to have words with his flatmate and try to come up with a solution.
He was grumpy by the time he made it home, which to be honest, wasn’t that unusual.
“Aiden? Are you here?”
“Yes. I was about to make some food, so you’re in luck if you want some too.”
“Yes please. You’re not going to believe this, but I’ve just been to the gym, and it looks like they have changed the membership options. If we want to keep our discount, being housemates isn’t good enough, we have to be in an actual relationship, whatever that means. They put massive posters up about it.”
“Why would they do that?”
“Dunno, but it feels like discrimination. What if I don’t want an actual relationship? What if I like being on my own? Why should I have to pay more because I’m single?”
“How are they going to know anyway?”
“Know what? Whether we’re actually dating? Are you actually considering this?”
“Yeah, if it lets me keep the discount. I’m on a tight budget these days.”
“I’m not going to date you, even if it is going to save us money!”
“Not real dating, fake dating. For the gym. Nothing more, I promise. Please?”
Aiden was seriously considering it! What a joke! Mind you, the place was pretty expensive usually and he did enjoy the extra benefits he got as a member. He didn’t want to lose out. Lambert narrowed his eyes.
“Hmm, maybe I’ll consider it, but no funny business. No holding hands or kissing or anything like that.”
“Of course not! Nothing physical, I know you don’t like being touched.”
“Oh, that’s ok then.” At least Aiden knew his boundaries and was good at making him feel at ease.
“How about some ridiculous pet names for each other? Like, something so bad that we can’t possibly call each other that in public, but the staff can’t call us out because then they’d be calling into question our ‘romantic relationship’ and that is very unprofessional.”
“Yeah, I guess they’d have to be careful not to be seen as homophobic or anything.”
“Oh seriously mate, we could have so much fun with this!”