Archive of Our Own

1

Beomgyu anxiously stands in the average line at the only decent movie theater in town, waiting behind a group of kids that he recognizes from school and an old couple that is taking a little too long to choose whatever romance movie it's screening this month. He sways from side to side, bringing a thumb to his mouth, biting the nail that he has been gnawing on since the moment he decided to come to the theater. It was a lie when he said this is the only decent one in town, there are way better ones around Seoul and if Beomgyu wanted to watch something new he'd totally go to those. But there's a reason for him to come here — and it's not for the cheap tickets he can afford with his monthly allowance and the right amount of butter in the popcorn.

The reason has a name and last name. Choi Soobin, a lanky boy with dimples and pretty eye-smile that Beomgyu saw almost everyda during art class last year. He has known Soobin from way before that, privileges of doing group projects with Kang Taehyun, who luckily happens to be one of Soobin’s best friends. If Beomgyu had to make a timeline, he’ll say that his crush for Soobin started the moment he laid eyes on the boy wearing a tuxedo bigger than him and dancing weirdly at the only dance his school had. From that moment on, Soobin became the only thing Beomgyu could think for almost two weeks until Taehyun took pity of him and decided to offer valuable information about the boy. It's a beneficial exchange, Beomgyu does Taehyun's art assigments and gets to know more about Soobin. A win-win situation in his opinion.

Another reason for him to visit that theater is the Special Weekend Screening, something the owner came up with to screen old movies on the weekends to no one besides Beomgyu and some old hags that look sideways at him when they're in line for the movie. Beomgyu isn't the type to go to the movies often, he doesn't have a large friend group to do these after school and he believes that going to the theater all alone often is the same as telling everyone around that he's a loser — also, he doesn't have that much money to spare, and the weekends screening are cheaper since costumers doesn't want to pay normal tickets price for old movies they can watch on DVD. All in all, this is the perfect occasion for Beomgyu to leave his room, wash his hair with his mother's flowery shampoo, dress up in minimally clean clothes and watch a movie that he probably watched long ago. And have the chance to talk to Soobin, and that's the most important point about the Special Weekend Screening.

When his turn comes, Beomgyu's legs are too shaky to move properly and his mouth is filled with cotton, heart beating a little too fast over such a silly thing. He isn't an introvert per se, he never had any problem talking to strangers and he definitely talked to Soobin before — that is, if you count the few hi's and hello's they exchanged in art class. Something about his first proper conversation with Soobin being about tickets to an old movie makes Beomgyu nervous, hands sweating as he hides them inside his pockets. Beomgyu wants to make a good impression, he wants Soobin to maybe look his way even if it's only for a second, to notice him at least once because it seems that Soobin never acknowledges the painfully pining looks Beomgyu spent the whole year sending his way during classes.

Beomgyu takes a deep breath that almost makes him dizzy, finally walking the last steps to the booth. Soobin's head is low, scribbling something on a notepad and putting a few bills inside the register, working robotically until he notices Beomgyu standing in front of the glass.

“Good evening,” he says, voice a little tired but still easily creeping into Beomgyu’s ears and sending a shiver through his body.

“Good evening, can I have a ticket for the special weekend screening.” Beomgyu manages to blurt out, anxiety slowly seeping away and giving more space for hesitation. Soobin is still writing on the notepad, not paying any attention to him.

“We’re playing Who Framed Roger Rabbit,” Soobin says tediously.

Beomgyu closes his eyes and bites his lip. He completely forgot what movie is screening tonight, and the thought that Soobin would find him weird for watching that makes him mortified. "Yes, I know."

“That’ll be 3,000 won,” Soobin says, finally raising his head to see Beomgyu, rummaging through his pockets for the bills he had stuffed inside before leaving home. Surprise colors his face, lips slightly ajar as he gasps, “Beomgyu-ssi?”

Beomgyu quickly raises his head, looking at the boy inside the booth, mimicking his surprise. He had no idea that Soobin knew his name, much more that he'd easily recognize him now that Beomgyu's hair grew a little longer compared to last year. A few seconds pass with them staring at each other, lips closed on a tight line and not exactly sure how to break this silence that slipped between them. Beomgyu places the bills on the booth's payment side, unsure of what to do or what to say. He wants to slap himself, which he mentally does for his stupidity. He came here to talk to Soobin, maybe flirt with him if his anxiety allowed him, do anything but look like a fish out of water, opening and closing his lips without any words coming out.

“You know me?” Beomgyu blurts out after mustering the courage to speak — and he honestly realizes that it was better to stay silent because those words were worse than not saying anything.

“Choi Beomgyu-ssi, right? From last year's art class?” Soobin asks, an hesitant smile slowly tugging at the corner of his pretty lips. Beomgyu can’t look anywhere, those lips acting like a spell, pulling his eyes back to it every time he tries to look away.

“That’s me,” Beomgyu replies. A nervous laughter, almost like a wheeze, following right after.

“Not sure if you remember me, but I’m Choi Soobin,” he says, the smile becoming less hesitant and more friendly, those damn dimples in full display for Beomgyu to have a mental breakdown right at that moment. He wants to laugh loudly at those words. How could he not remember Soobin when he lives in Beomgyu’s mind since the day he looked at him sitting by himself in front of a blank canvas? He almost says just that, biting his tongue before the words can escape and make him a bigger fool in front of his crush.

“Of course I remember. You’re Taehyun’s best friend,” Beomgyu says, leaning on his heels and moving back and forth, a habit he developed whenever he's nervous.

“So… I didn’t know you like old movies.” Soobin changes the subject while picking the bills and counting, fingers flipping the crumpled notes.

“I’m a fan of the classics,” he says, trying to sound cool and nonchalant. A pitiful atempt to make Soobin sees him as more than a silly dude.

“I wouldn’t call this Roger Rabbit movie a classic,” Soobin jokes, a red ticket between his fingers.

“Have you watched? It's a masterpiece of animation and live action at the same time!” Beomgyu defends. He knows deep down that the movie is not the best and it's more silly than anything else. He’s only watching it because none of the new movies caught his eyes, and he thought a better movie would be screening tonight. He’s already here, he already embarrassed himself in front of Soobin, he can watch Who Framed Roger Rabbit and pretend it's nice for the sake of it.

Soobin shakes his head. “Never watched.”

An idea pops in Beomgyu’s head in the best kids' show style, a lightbulb lighting above his head when realization finally dawns on him. A chance to get erase the embarrassment he went through a few minutes ago, a chance to show Soobin that he's not a loser unable to hold a proper conversation with a handsome boy — not that Soobin needs to know that Beomgyu thinks he's the handsomest boy in school, and in the whole world. After all, Beomgyu is kinda whipped and biased when it comes to Soobin. It's a now or never situation, Beomgyu can’t let it pass that easily.

“Would you like to see it with me?” Beomgyu asks, one eyebrow raised and a smirk on his lips, hiding his shaky hands inside the pockets.

Soobin furrows his eyebrows, eyes slightly widened. “You’re asking me to see the movie with you?”

“That’s what I said.”

“Why?”

“Why?” Beomgyu repeats, his own eyebrows furrowing in confusion. He never thought he'd have the balls to get in the asking Soobin out part, he has no idea what to do from now on.

“Why are you asking me to see a bad movie with you?” Soobin seems taken aback, eyes never straying from Beomgyu's lithe figure.

“It’s not that bad, c’mon,” Beomgyu whines, gnawing on his lower lip and pretending that he's not about to piss in his pants from the possibility of Soobin rejecting him while a bunch of people are walking around.

Soobin chuckles. “You do know that you’re the only person that bought tickets for this session, right?”

“I didn’t,” Beomgyu replies, blushing. Embarrassment eats him away for being the only person in the whole town that spent money on this low quality movie, and that's spending his Saturday night watching an animated rabbit running around with a real life detective. Soobin will probably never forget this, and Beomgyu's mind won't ever allow him to forget the embarrassment he's feeling. “Well, this means no loud conversations to disturb the movie and more privacy for us, don't you think?”

“If I'm being honest with you, animated creatures with real life actors are not much of my thing,” Soobin says sheepishly, a polite decline that anyone in their right mind would understand without having to be said twice.

Beomgyu pretends not to be devastated by the rejection. What the hell did he expected? That Soobin would easily accept to watch a bad movie with someone that he's exchanging more than two words with for the very first time? "That's fine. But I'll let you know that you're losing an 80's masterpiece."

“I think I can live with the fact that I never watched this movie." Soobin laughs, the sound alone makes all the depressing feelings inside Beomgyu disappear in a second. He gives the red ticket to Beomgyu, their fingers don’t have the chance to brush like in those romantic comedies his mother likes to watch, but he feels something while looking at the smile on Soobin’s angelic face. Maybe it’s his fat crush on the boy speaking, but Soobin looks too good to be true under the yellowish lights inside the booth.

Beomgyu is so gone for this boy that it’s actually painful to see.

“Thanks,” he says, carefully holding the ticket like a lifeline. He stands in the same place, not ready to leave yet. He wants to talk a little bit more with Soobin, doesn't matter the topic or if he'll embarrass himself once again. “See you around?”

Soobin nods. “Hope you enjoy your movie, Beomgyu-ssi.”

“Oh my gosh. Choi Soobin-ssi, are you flirting with me?” Beomgyu gasps, putting a hand on his chest for dramatics.

If Beomgyu thought that Soobin was the most handsome boy in the whole world while he did absolutely nothing besides standing inside the ticket booth and smiling politely, nothing could compare to how pretty he looked when he was embarrassed. Something in the way his cheeks and the tip of his ears are as red as a coke can makes Beomgyu stare intently and hold back a sound that probably is close to a coo. Soobin looks like the most beautiful flower that he has the chance to see, a flower that he'd like to have in his garden for only him to see, a flower that he wanted to be his.

Soobin closes his eyes tightly, pursuing his lips and covering his face with his hands afterwards, almost disappearing into the booth — which is quite a feat for someone that tall. Beomgyu feels a smile tugging on his own lips, quite proud of making Soobin turn into this shy mess with only a stupid comment.

“Have a nice shift, Soobin-ah!” Beomgyu hums contentedly as Soobin takes his hands off his face, still a blushing mess and unable to look directly at the boy in front of him. Beomgyu wants to squeeze his cheeks and poke his dimples, maybe kiss the tip of his nose and talk about how much he likes him. He does none of those things, but a boy can dream. "If you change your mind about ol' Roger Rabbit, you know where to find me," he winks, waving the ticket before walking to the entrance.

Soobin doesn't show up at the screening at any point, and Beomgyu kind of feels like an idiot for having spent 3,000 won on this silly movie, but he still laughed at some parts and tried to enjoy it for the sake of not feeling bad for the money he lost. As much as he tries to focus on the movie, it's way too hard for his head to think about anything else other than his first real interaction with Soobin out of the classroom or with Taehyun acting as mediator. It wasn't perfect or any of the things that Beomgyu has dreamed of before falling asleep, but at least he got to see a new side of Soobin — a side that he pretty much enjoyed seeing, a side that he longs to see again.

When he leaves the screening with an empty popcorn bucket and feeling slightly awkward for being the only one leaving the room, Yeonjun is standing by the doorway with a smug smile and his usher uniform, looking too comfortable and ready to tease him for Beomgyu's liking. He tries to ignore Yeonjun, they’re in dangerous territory at the moment and he can't risk Soobin accidentally showing up when Yeonjun starts to tease him for spending money in a bad movie in the hopes of talking to the boy. See, one thing is to be teased by Yeonjun anywhere else, it’s another one to be teased by him in the same place Soobin works, the same place he can see and hear Yeonjun making fun of Beomgyu for his feelings. Beomgyu still has no idea how Yeonjun never gave him the valuable information that he works with Soobin, even though he’s one of the only people who knows about Beomgyu’s giant and very long-lasting crush on the boy. This is the reason why Beomgyu considers Taehyun a better friend than Yeonjun.

“Who Framed Roger Rabbit, seriously?” Yeonjun snorts as they walk side by side to the exit.

It’s night time already, the dark skies greeting Beomgyu the closer he gets to the open doors. His eyes search the faces in the lobby throughout the walk, sighing defeatedly when none of the faces is the one he wants to see the most. He was hoping for the chance to bid Soobin goodbye before leaving, a chance to see him all red in the face again and hiding away from shyness. What a shame, he'll have to leave without seeing his baby one last time.

“It’s a nice movie,” Beomgyu replies, not paying full attention to Yeonjun. He's still hoping for Soobin to magically appear before he reaches the glass doors that will lead him away from the boy.

“Now that’s the biggest lie you ever told." Yeonjun crosses his arms, pointing his turned-off flashlight in Beomgyu's direction. "No use looking for him. He's got bathroom cleaning duty tonight, and I'm not letting you get there to look at him and leave."

Beomgyu shakes his head, finally acknowledging the boy next to him. "Him? Who are you talking about?"

Yeonjun huffs. “Has anyone ever told you that you're terrible at hiding how obvious you are?”

“Shouldn’t you be working, hyung?” Beomgyu huffs too, throwing his empty bucket on the closest trash bin.

“I was the usher for that screening, dumbass. The movie is over, my shift is partially over once i clean the snack booth,” Yeonjun explains as if talking to a child, which makes Beomgyu more annoyed than being taunted for his obviousness. “Really, why did you choose the worst movie we have screening? Is it to make me work when I could spend time flirting with pretty girls in the snack booth?”

Beomgyu crosses his arms, copying the man next to him. “How the hell would I know that you got assigned to be the Special Weekend usher? It’s my first time here.”

“You have a knack for annoying me, I wouldn’t be surprised,” Yeonjun shrugs, pressing his flashlight against Beomgyu's chest, a teasing little smile on his lips. “I know what you did with a certain boy.”

Beomgyu's eyes go as wide as saucers. “You know?”

“Soobinie came to the backroom right after selling that ticket to you,” Yeonjun says, wiggling his eyebrows and whistling low. “Dude, you got him shaking from head to toe. I almost thought you got your shit together and confessed to him. He drank three glasses of water and spent at least ten minutes blushing hard and giggling like a high schooler.”

“He did?” Beomgyu asks, a strange sense of proud filling his body. His first attempt at talking and flirting with the boy of his dreams and he aced effortlessly? Beomgyu can't help the smile that blooms on his face, nor the way his mind gets full of thoughts of making Soobin shy again, of talking to Soobin until they're close, of flirting with Soobin until he scores a chance and does all the things he's been daydreaming of.

“Whatever you said or did, I'll advise you to watch out,” Yeonjun says, spinning on his heels and looking dead on to Beomgyu. “Or else, you’ll probably kill poor Soobinie. He’s not used to someone flirting with him, especially coming from boys like you.”

“Boys like me?” Beomgyu asks, but receives no answer beyond a push out of the theater, a hummed goodbye and the sight of Yeonjun locking the doors and leaving without looking behind once, keys dangling in his fingers — Beomgyu can almost hear him humming to whatever new song he's addicted to. Beomgyu stays in the same spot for a while, trying to understand what he meant by boys like him. He doesn’t feel different from the other boys his age, of course he might be a little weird sometimes and have different tastes and hobbies, but nothing too bad. Nothing that makes him strikingly different from other boys that probably had crushes on Soobin too. Who wouldn't fall for Soobin? Beomgyu is just like any other boy, caught in the web of Soobin's charms.

Yeonjun’s words don’t stick for too long in his clouding head. The whole way back to his house is made with thoughts of the little moment he had with Soobin earlier that night — not even Roger Rabbit and the movie he spent money on can find space in his thoughts filled with Soobin and his dimpled-smile and flushed cheeks. Soobin, Soobin, Soobin and more Soobin. Soobin with his polite and pretty smile, his pretty voice, his pretty blushed cheeks, his pretty eyes. Everything about Soobin is so pretty that Beomgyu feels like melting in a puddle of love for the boy in the middle of the empty streets. Beomgyu thinks about possibilities, things that could happen now that he doesn't feel that nervous around the boy anymore, the development they can achieve with time. Now that he thinks about it, he no longer feels so stupid for spending 3,000 won on a bad movie if that meant seeing Soobin once again.

Beomgyu feels like this is the beginning of something new and exciting in his life.

2

After that first night, a routine has slowly built up in Beomgyu's quiet life. Now, every weekend, he has a reason to pick up the stray bills from the pockets of his clothes and leave the house with a smile on his face and an excitement that makes him want to skip down the street towards the movies — a path that his feet now almost do automatically, as if Soobin's voice from inside the ticket booth were calling him closer like a mermaid does to a fisherman. Beomgyu feels a little ashamed to admit it, but Soobin is the only reason he spends 3,000 won every weekend, so far no movie interesting enough has been put in the screening.

Maybe Beomgyu really is that whipped, as Yeonjun makes a point of saying every time the other is leaving the movie theater, the same little smile on his lips and the promise to tease Beomgyu later when they meet outside of Yeonjun’s shift.

Tonight is the fourth consecutive weekend that Beomgyu finds himself standing in line to buy a ticket for a movie he doesn't care what it is, as long as he gets to chat for a few minutes with Soobin before someone behind him huffs and forces Beomgyu to bid farewell to a Soobin who’s usually rosy-cheeked from some very bad flirt from him. Even though it's becoming a repeated image, Beomgyu can't get enough of it. Soobin looks so pretty when he’s blushing, the red slowly fading to pink makes Beomgyu feel the urge to squish his cheeks, kiss it until Soobin tries to shy away.

These are thoughts that have been popping up in his mind for the past few days, the possibility of kissing Soobin. He never thought about it before, he never imagined that he would have even the slightest chance to talk to this boy someday, there was no reason to imagine himself kissing the other. The thing is, once these thoughts start to plague his mind, he can't get them out of his head anymore. At times during the day he finds himself thinking about what it would be like to kiss Soobin's cheeks, his hands, his neck, his lips, kiss every bit of skin until his lips are numb and Soobin is so pink and shy that would make him coo. The problem with these thoughts is that they’re too dangerous, especially for Beomgyu's heart, which now yearns for something that will never happen.

He doesn't know Soobin beyond the little things he sees and the basic information given by Taehyun — it seems that Taehyun respects their friendship enough since he tells absolutely nothing personal about Soobin on the moments Beomgyu fills him with questions. He doesn't know what Soobin likes, what Soobin doesn't like, what makes him smile and what makes him cry, what makes him angry and what makes him happy. Soobin is an incognita, a math problem that Beomgyu has no idea how to even begin to solve. That's why the thoughts hurt him so much, because they’re just strangers at the end of the day. In Soobin's eyes, Beomgyu is nothing but Taehyun's friend and the boy from last year's art class who only shows up at the theater to see old movies that only crazy people pay to see. Soobin wouldn't let a stranger kiss him, or hold his hand, or hug him. Beomgyu needs to stop thinking and wishing for things that are outside of reality.

“Beomgyu!” Soobin greets as soon as he approaches the ticket booth. His eyes are in crescent shapes when he smiles at the boy, so dazzling it makes Beomgyu’s heart skip a beat or two until it settles in at a normal pace.

If just a smile leaves him like this, Beomgyu doesn’t want to imagine how his poor heart would take it if Soobin did anything else.

“Hi, Soobin,” Beomgyu greets back, hands in his hoodie pocket, hiding his fidgeting hands. Even though his body is acting a way, the first response his mind gives him is to shamelessly flirt with the boy in front of him. “Do you always come here?”

“Well, I work here so…” Soobin trails off, looking at the roll of red tickets in front of him. Beomgyu can see the faint shade of pink slowly coloring his cheeks. Soobin gets so easily frustrated and embarrassed, the cutest thing Beomgyu ever saw.

Beomgyu winks. “That’s why I come here, babe.” The pet name slips from his lips so easily it almost makes Beomgyu feel ashamed, makes his mind think about someday being able to call Soobin only by that.

Soobin shakes his head, there’s a small smile on the corner of his lips, his eyes never leaving the roll of tickets. “Special Weekend?”

“You know me so well,” he replies, fumbling with the bills inside his pocket. “Are you keeping tabs on me, Soob?”

“You only come here on weekends, it’s not that difficult to know what you’re coming here for,” Soobin says, taking one of the tickets off the roll before Beomgyu even pays for it.

Beomgyu raises an eyebrow. “What if I came here for another reason?”

“There’s no other reason to spend your night on this place if not for the movies, Beomgyu,” Soobin replies, gnawing on his bottom lip.

Beomgyu feels the words wanting to escape from his mouth, he knows that he could say with the greatest of ease that he only keeps coming to this movie theater because of Soobin, only keeps spending his money to see Soobin; but it's not so easy to say this and hope that Soobin believes it — or reacts in some way other than a shock and a mental breakdown in the backroom after Beomgyu enters the movie theater. For now, he’s content to stay silent and take the bills out of his pocket, putting them in the usual slot.

“Don’t you wanna know today’s movie?” Soobin asks, taking the bills and putting in the cashier without counting. He knows Beomgyu gave the right amount, he always does.

“As long as it’s not another romance, I’m fine with whatever is playing,” Beomgyu shivers, he’s really not in the mood for another romance thing that’ll create impossible scenarios in his head — he still hasn't fully recovered from all the thoughts he had involving him and Soobin after watching Can't Buy Me Love last week. Romance movies are totally a not to go at the moment.

Soobin raises his eyebrows, slightly surprised. “Thought you liked romances.”

“I have nothing against romances, I’m just not in the mood for it right now,” Beomgyu says, shrugging.

“That’s a pity,” Soobin says, so silently it’s almost a whisper that Beomgyu would’ve not listened if he wasn’t paying attention.

“What’s a pity?”

“Nothing!” Soobin is fast to reply, shaking his head and embarrassingly laughing it off. He leaves Beomgyu’s ticket on the slot, retracting his hand before Beomgyu can take the ticket and make their fingers brush like he’s aching to do. Soobin bites his thumb fingernail, watching Beomgyu retrieve his ticket and hold him gently, both silently staring at each other while thinking what to say or do next.

Beomgyu coughs. “So, I think I’m—”

“They’re playing your favorite movie tonight,” Soobin interrupts, widening his eyes after the words left his mouth.

Beomgyu takes a while to fully process what Soobin just had said. In all the few conversations they’ve had in this new routine, he doesn’t remember ever commenting on what is his favorite movie — and he probably would remember if he had said something about, Beomgyu takes conversations about Ghostbusters very seriously. There’s no way Soobin would know this, unless he had asked about it to any of Beomgyu’s friends. The thought of Soobin asking Yeonjun or Taehyun about him leaves a weird feeling inside his stomach, as if he had swallowed cotton balls before coming here.

“My favorite movie?” He says once the words finally settle in his mind, his eyes blinking while staring at Soobin’s mild astonishment.

“Yeah, Ghostbusters,” Soobin replies, fidgeting. “We’re playing the second movie. I know you like the first one more, but I imagined you must like this one too.”

“How do you know this is my favorite movie?” Beomgyu raises an eyebrow, surprised and confused at the same time. Soobin’s rambling gave him too much information and no answers simultaneously, the cogs inside Beomgyu’s head trying to turn but failing. It’s not just a coincidence that Soobin knows all this, especially that Beomgyu likes the first movie better than the second one.

If Beomgyu had any doubt that Soobin went around asking things about him to his friends, now he’s sure this is what is happening. No one in the whole world knows Beomgyu likes the first Ghostbusters movie besides Taehyun.

Soobin eyes widen even more, dark brown orbs staring at Beomgyu without anything to say. He takes some time until finally replying with a simple and shaken, “Taehyun told me.”

Beomgyu wiggles his eyebrows, a teasing smile on his lips. “So you asked Taehyun about me?”

“Yes,” Soobin breathes, his mouth opening in a silent frustrated scream before his surprised face turns into embarrassment. “I mean, no! I didn’t ask Taehyun about you. There’s no reason to ask about you right? Like, you’re just a customer here. I’d be so weird if I go around asking—”

“Hyung, it’s fine. I’m just joking,” Beomgyu says with a chuckle, interrupting Soobin nervous ramble. Soobin bites his bottom lip, determined not to say anything more. “So, when did you learn what my favorite movie is?”

Soobin sighs, looking away. “Taehyun bought a ticket early and told me that this was your favorite.”

Beomgyu raises his eyebrows. “Oh, Taehyun is inside?”

“His movie is probably over by now, but I’m sure you can still find him inside,” Soobin says, still staring at nothing in particular, the faint blush never leaving his cheeks. Beomgyu feels the urge to pinch them, kiss them until he gets tired. Soobin will be the death of him someday.

“Did he came for one of the stupid rom-coms?” Beomgyu doesn’t want his conversation with Soobin to end so soon, even if his movie is about to start and a girl that came some seconds ago is tapping her foot on the cement ground and huffing. Beomgyu wished they could meet in a place where they could talk for as long as they could. This rendezvous is not working anymore.

“This is something I can't tell you, a secret between a ticket seller and his customer,” Soobin smiles, finally mustering up the courage to look at Beomgyu’s face again. He almost feels all the air inside him escape through his mouth upon seeing the playful smile on Beomgyu’s lips and the way he keeps staring at him as if Soobin is saying something very interesting.

Soobin has no idea why it's so hard to look at Beomgyu. Maybe it's the way he stares at him intensely with his beautiful eyes and always seems to be paying attention to everything that Soobin says. His flirts are just the icing on the cake of reasons why Soobin can't act in any way other than being speechless, his cheeks flushing and thinking about everything Beomgyu says once the other one leaves.

“But if you don’t find him in the lobby, wait for him in the She’s All That session,” Soobin says when Beomgyu goes a little to the side to get out of the line, making room for the angry girl to finally get her ticket. He’s starting to get angry that people are getting in the way of his special moment with Soobin — even though he’s the wrong one in the situation.

“Thanks for the valuable info, hyung.” Beomgyu winks at him before Soobin can pay attention to the task at his hands.

Soobin just laughs, taking the girl’s money and giving her a white ticket for some horror movie they have on screening. The girl thanks him and gives an ugly look at Beomgyu’s direction before entering the cinema, not paying attention to the low enjoy your movie Soobin says almost automatically. They stand still in silence for a few seconds, until Beomgyu realizes that maybe there’s no more topics for conversation between them for tonight and that he should be running towards his screening if he doesn't want to miss the first few minutes. But he can't make his feet move, it's as if he doesn't want to move away from this place, want to stay as close to the boy as possible. Soobin is still inside the booth, fidgeting, waiting for something that even he doesn't know what it is.

“I think that’s my cue to go,” Beomgyu says hesitantly, pointing at the theater entrance with his thumb.

“Oh, right,” Soobin agrees, nodding, looking at a small clock in front of him. “If you go now, you’ll only have missed six minutes of the movie. Not like it matters to you, of course.”

“I probably know this six lost minutes like the back of my hand,” Beomgyu jokes, making a low laugh escape through Soobin’s mouth. The laugh doesn’t last long and soon there’s no reason to stay anymore, and Soobin probably gonna think he’s a weirdo for staying still in the same place. “But if you want to, I can tell you what happens in those six minutes and you can watch it with me.”

Soobin smiles, leaning his elbows on the ticket counter. “You’re asking me again to see it with you?”

“Will you say yes today because it’s my favorite movie?” Beomgyu tries, blinking his eyes in the best cute way he can.

“I’m on shift today, and I don’t like ghosts,” Soobin says, politely declining Beomgyu's invitation once again, more excuses that make him even more eager to someday get a yes from the boy.

“That’s a pity, again,” Beomgyu pouts. “Maybe next time?”

“We’ll see.”

“I guess I see you around, Soobin.”

“Hey, Beomgyu,” Soobin calls when Beomgyu turns around, his head moving in the boy’s direction at a speed that almost makes him dizzy. Soobin seems hesitant, licking his lips before finally managing to say what he’s been thinking ever since their weird conversation from before. “I swear I’m not going around asking people about you.”

Beomgyu can’t help the way his heart sinks at those words, especially with the way Soobin sounds so serious, so worried about him getting the whole situation wrong. He can’t help feeling this sadness and despair over Soobin not wanting to know more about him. Beomgyu isn’t a fool, he knows things still are not that easy when it comes to liking boys, he knows Soobin doesn’t want to give false hopes to him, doesn’t want things that aren’t supposed to happen bloom inside the boy’s mind. But it still hurts, Beomgyu should be used to this.

He hides his sadness and reacts in the only way he knows best: shamelessly flirting, playful words and smiles that hide a tint of realness.

“That’s a shame,” Beomgyu sighs. “I really wish you were out there asking about me.”

Soobin chokes on his saliva, coughing hard with eyes closed. When he opens them, they’re wide, staring at Beomgyu in a mix of perplexity and embarrassment. “What?”

“But you know, if you don’t want to go ‘round asking about, you can come directly at me the next time,” Beomgyu wiggles his eyebrow, winking. “I wouldn’t mind telling you everything you want to know.”

He doesn’t stay behind to see the way he broked Soobin with just a few words, the poor boy turning so red he almost was the same color of the ticket for the Special Weekend, eyes and mouth closed, the words and Beomgyu’s tone still lingering in his mind enough to turn Soobin in someone impossible to function normally, he almost feels like leaving the booth at that moment and hiding for the rest of the night in the back rooms. Meanwhile, Beomgyu happily enters the movie theater, ignoring the brief pain he felt at Soobin's words from before. Even if Soobin doesn't care or want to know about him, even if he doesn't like him in the same way, even if he doesn't like boys, Beomgyu can't help but keep the spark of hope inside him burning every time Soobin reacts in this way to his flirts.

The first thing Beomgyu sees as he enters the lobby of the movie theater, it’s Kang Taehyun sitting on one of the upholstered seats they leave for people to wait for their screening, rummaging through a still-filled bucket of popcorn, his attention fully focused on the snacks booth. Beomgyu can see Yeonjun filling soda cups for two girls, a flirt smile on his lips as he chats casually with the girls, probably charming them. Taehyun snorts before turning his gaze away, staring at his popcorn bucket with a disappointed look. It’s no secret to Beomgyu the big crush Taehyun has on Yeonjun, the glances always waiting for something that never comes, the anxiety of Yeonjun finally looking at the youngest and finally seeing him as more than a young boy who is friends with Beomgyu. At some moments, he can totally relate to his best friend — but he’ll never admit this to Taehyun or anyone else.

Taehyun is so lost inside his own head that he doesn’t even notice when Beomgyu approaches and stops in front of him, arms crossed and eyebrows raised in mockery.

“So, is she all that?” Beomgyu makes a pun, getting his friend’s attention.

Taehyun frowns. “How do you know which movie I watched?”

Beomgyu shrugs. “Best friend’s intuition.”

“Did you bribe Soobin-hyung to know which movie I was watching?” Taehyun charges.

“No? Why would I do that?”

“To have enough material to blackmail me when I refuse to give you information about Soobin-hyung?”

Beomgyu gasps in faux offense. “Taehyun, who do you take me for?”

"Someone who would do anything to know more about Soobin-hyung without actually asking things to him like a normal person would do," Taehyun says in a judgemental tone.

"You know, I don't like judgements coming from on," Beomgyu huffs, taking a large portion of popcorn, chewing with his mouth open. "Besides, you can't judge me when you don't do anything about your crush on Yeonjun-hyung either."

Taehyun stares wide-eyed at Beomgyu, before shaking his head in denial. "That's a totally different thing. I can't do anything because Yeonjun-hyung doesn't like boys."

"Soobin doesn't like boys too, so what's your point in judging me when we're on the same page?" Beomgyu retorts.

"We're totally not on the same page," Taehyun sneers.

“I’m not gonna discuss this type of thing with you,” Beomgyu says, grabbing more popcorn. “So how’s the movie?”

“If you want to know, why don’t you watch it yourself?”

“You really think I’ll spend 5,000 won to watch a bad rom-com?” Beomgyu looks at him with a raised eyebrow. “Besides, I’m not a loser like you to come alone to watch this type of movie.”

“I didn’t come alone, dipshit,” Taehyun rolls his eyes. “I came with Kai, he’s in the bathroom.”

“That’s even worse than coming alone, you brought your neighbor to watch a couple’s movie,” Beomgyu pretends to be horrified, laughing at Taehyun’s grimace. 

Taehyun rolls his eyes once more. “Beomgyu, shouldn’t you be going to your movie?”

“I should, but I wanted to ask you something before watching a movie that’s worth the money I spent.”

“What do you want?”

Beomgyu swallows the rest of the popcorn that was in his mouth, suddenly afraid of Taehyun’s answer. He’s not sure if he’s ready to know that Soobin really is not that interested on him and only knows about his favorite movie because Taehyun told him earlier today — Beomgyu is holding tight to every spark of hope that Soobin can like him back even if it’s too out of reality.

“Did you tell Soobin that Ghostbusters is my favorite movie?”

“Yeah, like a week ago,” Taehyun frowns. “Why?”

Beomgyu almost chokes on nothing, beating his chest and coughing. Taehyun looks at him with a mix of confusion and disgust. “A week ago?!”

Taehyun nods. “Taking from your stupid reaction, I suppose today’s movie is Ghostbusters right?”

“It’s the second, but that’s not important,” Beomgyu gestures with butter-soaked hands. “The important thing is, Soobin knows about my favorite movie for almost two weeks without me having any idea of it.”

Taehyun sighs, massaging his temples, feeling a headache called Beomgyu’s obliviousness and long-term crush over Soobin slowly appearing in his head. “Hyung, do you know who chooses the old movies they play every weekend?”

“Does it matter?” Beomgyu says after shaking his head.

“It’s the employees, they’re the ones that choose which old movie a dumb boy like you will spend your money on when you could see all this in a blockbuster,” Taehyun says matter-of-factly.

“What does that have to do with the fact that Soobin knows my favorite movie?”

“Hyung, are you dumb?” Taehyun asks with seriousness.

“You punk, don’t you have respect?” Beomgyu says, closing his hand on a fist.

“This week was Soobin-hyung’s turn to choose a movie, and since you’ve been coming here every single weekend like it’s Sunday mass, he asked me last week what’s your favorite movie,” Taehyun explains. “They didn’t have the first, so he put on the second one in the hope that he could still make your stupid fanboy ass happy.”

Beomgyu is pretty sure that for a few seconds his brain shut down and had to be rebooted, the information Taehyun gave him acting like a virus destroying everything on the software that is Beomgyu's brain. Soobin chose Beomgyu's favorite movie, he chose it in the hope of making him happy, in the hope that Beomgyu would come and be elated — even if it's not his favorite. Soobin used his chance to choose something he likes to choose something that Beomgyu likes, used his chance to know something about Beomgyu, even if it's something silly like his favorite movie. Now that his brain is slowly turning on again, he can't help but smile to himself, a more passionate fool.

How will he extinguish the spark of hope inside him when it’s slowly becoming the flame from a candle? How will he not remain in love with Soobin after what he has done today?

Beomgyu continues to smile to himself, reality still not sitting completely in his head. "He picked my favorite movie."

"Yes, you're lovesick fool," Taehyun says, getting up from the seat and pushing Beomgyu away from him with his free hand. "Now go, or you'll miss Soobin-hyung's effort in being nice to you."

If he ran towards the room where the movie was playing, no one but himself, Taehyun and maybe some other people saw this little humiliation. Beomgyu never smiled so much during the entire movie, every time remembering that Soobin chose this for him to see, to make him happy. Even though Ghostbusters 2 is a terrible movie, Beomgyu saw it with different eyes this time — the eyes of a boy who’s sure that this so-called crush is not just a crush anymore. Beomgyu is sure that the weird feeling inside him isn’t cotton balls anymore, but the spark of hope slowly getting bigger, burning every little part inside his frail body. There is a smile plastered on Beomgyu's face from the moment he leaves the movie theater until he’s on his way home, and even before he goes to sleep, he’s still smiling as he remembers what Soobin did tonight.

3

Two months of non-stop visits every single weekend made Beomgyu become one of the most recognizable faces in the whole movie theater among the employees. Now, everyone greets him when he’s in line for his ticket or waiting for his screening to start, he even made a nice friendship with Ryujin and Minjeong, two girls who seem to know more about sci-fi movies than he does — last week, Beomgyu watched with wide eyes an heated argument between the two about why E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial changed sci-fi cinematography. All in all, everyone is starting to get used to Beomgyu’s presence on that day of the week, and everyone seems to know that maybe Beomgyu only comes to the theater because of a certain brown-haired boy with dimples and a clumsy personality. Well, everyone except said boy, who’s still as oblivious as the first day. It’s kinda hard to shoot in the dark, to keep flirting without knowing if Soobin is getting the meaning behind it, but Beomgyu decided to keep doing it. He knows that at some point maybe his shot will hit the target.

This month, they’re playing only coming of age movies, in the hopes of catching teenagers' attention since romances for old hags are the only things screening right now. Horror movies are too far from screening, and old ladies don’t lose their time going to the movies anymore; so the best shot was trying to lure teenagers with movies like Pretty in Pink and The Breakfast Club. Beomgyu goes from all those and a very painful screening of Sixteen Candles until the next employee choosing finally takes pity on him and brings something that he likes.

Beomgyu is giddy when he stands in line for the ticket booth, anxiously waiting for this sole moment where he’ll make other people angry by monopolizing Soobin’s time until someone starts complaining. He can’t lie that this is the moment he waits for during the whole week — he still doesn’t have the courage to speak to Soobin in school, it’s a whole other level that Beomgyu still doesn’t have HP enough to beat it. For now, talking and flirting with his crush on his work is a safe path, and Beomgyu enjoys the freedom he has here, no knowing eyes to judge him. Except Yeonjun’s.

Yeonjun’s judgemental eyes are the first thing Beomgyu meets when it’s his turn to buy a ticket, a total letdown if Beomgyu had to put his feelings into words. He was expecting pretty dimples, a nice voice greeting him and twinkling eyes that turn into crescents upon seeing him. What he receives is a scoff and a click of tongue, a mop of bleached yellowed hair shaking from side to side in mockery.

“You’re really spending all your savings in this shithole,” Yeonjun says instead of greeting him, and this was already the nth reason why Beomgyu preferred Soobin to be there.

“Hello, hyung,” Beomgyu huffs, taking the crumpled bills from his pockets and slamming in the opening. “Nice to see you too.”

“Is this your way of showing Soobin you like him?” Yeonjun asks while taking the money.

“I literally came for the movie, what you talking ‘bout?”

Yeonjun stares at him, one eyebrow raised. “You watched Sixteen Candles last week.”

“Hey, Sam is a great character for studying american teen stereotypes,” Beomgyu defends, trying to not make it visible how much he hated that movie — but hey, at least that day Soobin said that he liked Beomgyu’s green all star and that made this horrible movie much bearable.

“Beom, this one was worse than watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit, ” Yeonjun sighs, giving the ticket to the boy. 

Beomgyu huffed, picking his ticket and crossing his arms. “Why can’t you appreciate the classics?”

“Beomgyu, the classics are good things, not low quality movies like the ones you’ve been spending your money on just to talk with Soobin for a few minutes,” Yeonjun pours the truth out in his face, always as truthful as he can be.

“Gee, thanks for telling me something I already know, hyung.”

“Why don’t you act like a normal person and just talk to him?”

“I am talking to him,” Beomgyu says.

“Not in the way that you should,” Yeonjun retorts. “You should be talking to him about how much you want to put your tongue inside his mouth.”

“Hyung!” Beomgyu exclaims, looking behind him to see if someone was there to listen to Yeonjun’s explicit language. Thankfully, Beomgyu is the only one in the ticket booth, making it less embarrassing to deal with Yeonjun’s way of telling things. “That’s not what I want.”

“You’re a liar.”

“That’s not the only thing I want,” Beomgyu scrunches his nose, deeply regretting that he had once handed his crush for Soobin on a platter into Yeonjun's hands. Ever since that confession — that only happened because he was a little more drunk then he should be —, Yeonjun doesn’t let him live peacefully, always dropping hints that are too obvious and giving advice that simply doesn’t work for Beomgyu.

“Well, since you’re a pussy and won’t do anything except become poor until the end of the year, at least today you’re paying for a good movie,” Yeonjun smiles, clapping his hands together.

“Did someone ever tell you you’re the worst person to ever exist in this world?” Beomgyu says, tsking.

Yeonjun chuckles, blinking his eyes charmingly. “Usually they’re too busy mesmerized by my beauty to say stupid things like you do.”

Beomgyu rolls his eyes, ignoring the way Yeonjun chuckles harder. If Soobin were here, Beomgyu would find reasons to stay, start conversation on every topic that came into his head — or stay in silence until they mutually agree is time to end this, until Beomgyu has his cue to flirt and make Soobin shy. Right now, he’s not sure what to do. Beomgyu got used to seeing Soobin here, to come here just because of these small and fleeting moments with the dimpled boy, moments that are not fleeting in his mind. Soobin is not here, maybe he’s not even working today, a day off for a boy who works too much; and Beomgyu feels lost.

Should he go inside the theater? Should he leave? Should he ask Yeonjun if Soobin is working today? Should he just come inside and look for the boy like it’s a totally normal thing to do with a stranger? Beomgyu is slowly drowning in the possibilities his mind keeps throwing at him. He doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t know if he should ask, he doesn’t want to sound desperate — even if he is completely desperate at that moment.

His face is surely showing the turmoil inside him since Yeonjun scoffs and says, “He’s in the snack booth, changed with me for tonight.”

Beomgyu sighs in relief, ignoring the low laugh Yeonjun gave at his reaction. “Why did you change? Thought you liked to flirt with the girls while pouring soda to them.”

“Well, I kinda got myself in trouble earlier this week, so now I’m taking a break from there,” Yeonjun says, scratching his neck in a rare display of embarrassment.

“Let me guess, taken girl,” Beomgyu snickers.

“I didn’t know her boyfriend was in the bathroom,” Yeonjun says sheepishly.

Beomgyu shakes his head. “You need to stop flirting with every girl that is nice to you, you know that, right?”

“It’s in my blood, I can’t just let a pretty girl pass me without telling them they’re pretty,” Yeonjun defends, gesturing exaggeratedly with his hands.

“I get it, loverboy,” he rolls his eyes, smiling at his best friend. “Now, do you have 1,000 won to lend me?”

Yeonjun is taken aback by the request, raising an eyebrow at Beomgyu before understanding why he’s asking for that amount of money in question. Yeonjun sighs, closing his eyes. “Please, don’t tell me you want money just to go to the snack booth and bother Soobin.”

Beomgyu opens a big smile, before moving his shoulders cutely. “C’mon hyung, help me this one time. I promise I’ll pay you back.”

“You know, there’s other ways of showing how much you like someone,” Yeonjun complains while taking money from his own wallet and giving it to Beomgyu, who smiled wide while complimenting the man with nothing but good words. “This money isn’t even going directly to Soobin’s paycheck.”

“It’s not about the money, hyung,” Beomgyu says, swinging the money close to his face. “It’s about seeing Choi Soobin.”

Beomgyu leaves the ticket booth with the same giddiness he felt when he was coming to the movie theater before. Not even Yeonjun’s words of whipped motherfucker could stop the excitement running through his body at the prospect of seeing Soobin once more after almost being swallowed by his own sad thoughts. Maybe Beomgyu was a whipped motherfucker since his heart started beating faster when he saw Soobin behind the snack booth, tediously leaning his head on his hand while waiting for customers. He takes a deep breath, anxiety mixing with his desire to be close to Soobin, making a false confidence take over his body.

He walks the last steps to the booth, slowly melting once Soobin notices his arrival. There it is, the sweet dimpled smile that Beomgyu aches to see every weekend — he aches to see it everyday, but it’s not like he can have everything he wants in this life. The smile that opens in his own lips is so natural that his brain doesn’t have to tell his muscles to do it. It’s something that comes so naturally, like Soobin and Beomgyu are connected, what one does the other repeats.

“Beomgyu!” Soobin greets with the same shy excitement that makes Beomgyu’s stomach fill with the same cotton balls.

“I see someone got tired of the ticket booth,” Beomgyu says, finally stopping in front of the boy, both with smiles on their lips, both filled with happiness just by seeing each other — both too oblivious to do something about it.

“Actually, Yeonjun-hyung made me stay here just so he won’t get beaten up,” Soobin laughs, the sound never failing to make Beomgyu feel warm, bells ringing in his ears, Soobin’s eyes turning into the crescents Beomgyu loves to see.

“Oh, he didn’t tell me the dude wants to beat his ass.”

“It’s a secret,” Soobin says, putting his index finger in front of his lips, a pretty pout on them as a silently shhh leaves his mouth. Beomgyu can’t stop staring at the pout, thinking about the things he’d do to have a chance to kiss those same lips. “Don’t tell him I told you.”

“I won’t,” Beomgyu promises. “So how’s working in the snack booth?”

Soobin sighs tiredly, pouting again. “Boring, not sure how Yeonjun likes to work here other than any other place.”

“That’s because Yeonjun likes to flirt with girls and here’s the best place to do it, according to him,” Beomgyu comments, his eyes fixed on the pout in Soobin’s lips. “Haven’t found any girls to flirt yet?”

“Not yet.” Soobin laughs, a little wheezed, a little nervous. “It’s not like I’m looking forward to it.”

Beomgyu whistles, playfully bothering Soobin as he always does. “Oh, and here I thought you were a big charmer.”

“You know, I’d rather stay in the ticket booth.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s boredly, but at least I have you,” Soobin says, so sincere it sounds out of place. Was this a hidden confession? Should Beomgyu search for secret meanings in those words?

“Oh, because I flirt with you,” Beomgyu winks, licking his lips. “Don’t worry, Binnie, I’ll flirt with you here too.”

The flush spread through Soobin’s cheeks and ears so fast it looked like paint being passed on a blank canvas, turning something beautiful with only one color. Beomgyu stares unblinking, watching the pretty color on Soobin’s face until the other boy makes a bothered sound, closing his eyes and turning back to the popcorn machine to turn it on. He smiles victoriously, always happy to be the one making Soobin act like this — it’s been months, but he can’t get enough of making Soobin flustered and shy, the type of thing that he relishes in all the meetings they have.

“So, did you know Ryujin chose this week's movie,” Soobin says, fussing with the machines, still with his back to Beomgyu.

Beomgyu leans on the counter, watching the boy intently. He knows Soobin's figure even with his eyes closed from the many times he's looked at him. His broad shoulders, long legs, skinny arms; his whole lanky, clumsy physiognomy seem to make it even more impossible not to fall in love with Choi Soobin. And if that's not enough, you can be sure that his face will make it a point to make you head over heels for him. Beomgyu isn't the type to fall for looks only, but it's almost a crime not to recognize that Soobin has a beautiful face, with cheeks that you want to squeeze so hard, eyes that look like little chocolate truffles and lips that look like they've been designed carefully. Beomgyu isn't lying or letting his crush speak louder when he says with conviction that Soobin is the most beautiful boy he's ever seen in his life — even though he’s only seventeen and still has a lot to live up to, Beomgyu’s sure that his opinion will never change.

There’s no one like Choi Soobin in this world, Beomgyu is sure of it.

“Oh, I didn’t know that,” Beomgyu says, slightly surprised. He never took Ryujin as the type to like teen comedies; he actually expected her to choose something more on the adventure or sci-fi aspect. Guess that girl really is a box filled with surprises.

“Yeah, she says this one is the only good teen comedy movie,” Soobins says absentmindedly, small talk to make his heart stop beating faster after Beomgyu’s words.

“And she’s totally right.”

Soobin shrugs, risking a sideways glance in Beomgyu's direction, hesitant to bump into any more teasing smile. “Don’t know, never watched.”

“Wait, hold on,” Beomgyu says, sounding surprised. “You never watched Ferris Bueller’s Day Off?”

“You’d be surprised if you knew I don’t watch the majority of movies all teenagers our age have watched,” Soobin comments, laughing at Beomgyu’s shocked face. He finally turned to the boy’s direction, right on time to see the gears in Beomgyu’s mind turning at the idea that Soobin doesn’t watch movies that Beomgyu knows with the palm of his hands.

“Soobin, are you kidding me?” Beomgyu stares at him, completely baffled.

Soobin shakes his head, stunned over Beomgyu's slightly overexaggerated reaction. "I don’t watch a lot of movies.”

“But it’s Ferris Bueller’s Day Off!” Beomgyu exclaims, mouth slightly ajar. “Everyone watched this movie at least once.”

“Well, I’m not everyone,” Soobin shrugs, looking at the dark marble counter, sounding a little bothered. “I’m not into movies all that much.”

“Soobin, you need to watch it with me today,” Beomgyu proclaims, placing his hands on the countertop next to Soobin's, almost trapping the boy. “I can’t sit in that screening knowing you never watched this 80s teen comedy masterpiece.”

“Aren’t you taking this a little too seriously?”

“Of course I am!” Beomgyu replies with a mix of excitement at the prospect of finally Soobin giving in to his proposal and perplexity over Soobin never watching this movie before. Counting with today, it’s maybe the 10th time Beomgyu will watch this one. “You’re the first person born in the 80s that has never watched Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.”

“If you say Ferris Bueller’s Day Off one more time I swear I’ll throw every soda flavor we have here in your face,” Soobin threatens, but his calm demeanor makes the threat fall into deaf ears. Beomgyu thinks he looks cuter, a fluffy bunny trying to look intimidating. “Besides, I was probably a toddler when this movie came out.”

“Well, we were four, but that’s beside the point,” Beomgyu gestures, leaning into Soobin’s personal space, watching his eyes widen and remnants of flush on his puffy cheeks, the boy instinctively moving away. “Tell me you’re watching with me today, please.”

For a few seconds Beomgyu can see that Soobin is thinking about the proposal, he’s considering sitting in a room next to Beomgyu to watch an old movie that he has never seen before. For a few seconds, Soobin imagines what it would be like to spend time with Beomgyu somewhere else, outside of his working hours; he thinks about the possibility of Beomgyu putting his arm around his shoulder or bumping his hand into his when they go to get the same soda — Soobin doesn't like movies, but maybe he has seen too many romances with his older sister during his teenage years. 

And then, these seconds pass and Beomgyu can clearly see that another refusal is on the way. He’s starting to get used to it, to see the moment that Soobin's face shows when he will not accept to watch a movie. His lips turn into a thin line, eyebrows frown slightly, and an apologetic glint in his eyes. Beomgyu doesn't wait to hear Soobin stepping on eggshells in an attempt to politely decline it. He just sighs and moves away from the countertop, taking the bills Yeonjun gave him and placing them where his hands were before.

"What can I buy with 1,000 won?" He asks, trying to change the subject before Soobin starts to cringe enough to disappear behind the counter — he's already doing it, and it would be a funny scene if Beomgyu wasn't internally sulking.

Soobin visibly relaxes, breathing with his eyes closed before he opens it and stares at the money, thinking about it before bending down towards the candy display above him. “You can have any flavor of chocolate bar, skittles, a cereal bar, lollipops—”

“A cereal bar?” Beomgyu interrupts, chuckling. His sour mood from before long gone, he can’t stay like that when Soobin’s around him. “Who buys cereal bars in a movie theater?”

Soobin chuckles too, raising his head slightly to look at Beomgyu. “Well, that guy who wants to beat Yeonjun-hyung’s ass does.”

“Yeah, that’s reasonable,” Beomgyu purses his lips. “This guy must be very big for hyung to run away.”

“Trust me, he really is,” Soobin says, with a strange dreamy tone in his voice, like the thought of the guy makes his heart flutter. Beomgyu raises an eyebrow, making Soobin swallow hard. “I mean, hyung skinny ass wouldn’t handle five minutes in a fight with that guy.”

“Hyung can’t even throw a punch, he’s not gonna last two minutes in a fight,” Beomgyu mocks, still thinking about Soobin's weirdness over the guy.

“So, what’s going to be?” Soobin asks, calling his attention back to what they were doing before the whole different topic came to their conversation. Talking with Soobin is always a rollercoaster, sometimes there’s only straight paths, sometimes there’s ups and downs that make Beomgyu feel his heart almost bursting out of his mouth. Not a weekend goes by that Beomgyu doesn’t have three different topic conversations with Soobin and a prolonged silence that leaves both not knowing what to do.

Beomgyu thinks, scrunching his nose. “Give me a chocolate bar.”

Soobin’s attention goes back to the candy display, his head staring at the different flavors and brands. “Which flavor?”

“Surprise me, Binnie,” Beomgyu says, trying to sound as teasing as possible, wanting to get as many reactions out of the boy as possible. These meetings are always about the amount of times Beomgyu can make Soobin into a blushing mess — and to make him fall in love more and more with Soobin.

Beomgyu rests his elbow back on the counter watching Soobin looking thoughtfully at the brands and flavors, one hand on his chin as he seems to argue with himself about what to choose for the other — maybe he wants to please Beomgyu again, like he did a few weeks ago by putting Ghostbusters on. Beomgyu can't take his eyes off Soobin, it's something almost impossible for him, especially at times when he seems oblivious to his surroundings, lost within himself. Soobin looks like someone in a museum, looking at a painting that requires you to look at it five times until you discern something.

“You know, it’s not related but there’s a scene in the movie that made me think of you,” Beomgyu says, almost not noticing the words coming out of his mouth from how easy it is to say these things to a Soobin too focused to notice.

“What movie?” Soobin asks, finally digging his hand inside the display after making his choice.

“ Ferris Buller’s Day Off,” Beomgyu replies, covering his mouth after remembering that he wasn’t supposed to say the name. “Please don’t throw all the soda flavors on me.”

Soobin snorts, looking at two different flavors on his hand. “I rather not do that, the waste will come from my paycheck. I don’t get enough to lose with something like this.”

“That’s good, I think watching a movie soaked with soda it’s not on my list of things I want to do,” Beomgyu says, scrunching his nose at the thought. “Since you never watched the movie, I think you won’t know about this scene.”

“Are you putting psychological pressure on me to watch this movie?” Soobin says, finally getting up from the candy display. “Like, if I don’t say I’ll watch it someday, you won’t tell me about the scene and I'll burst with curiosity?”

“Actually I was about to tell you, but that’s a nice idea,” Beomgyu says, pondering on the words. Soobin shakes his head, putting two chocolate bars of the same flavor on the counter, but Beomgyu’s attention is not on the flavors. “There’s this scene where they go to a museum since they’re in Chicago and all that. And then Ferris and his girlfriend kiss in front of a very pretty paint that gives them this bluish light. and—”

“Why does this make you think about me?” Soobin asks before Beomgyu can continue, his eyebrows furrowed in mistrust.

Beomgyu gulps, he’s not sure if he should flirt away or pretend he never said that. “I— The colors you know. You give me kinda of blue vibe.”

“So you think I’m a sad person?”

“No!” Beomgyu is fast to reply, almost choking on his spit. “I don’t think you’re a sad person. And even if you were, it’s not a problem.”

Soobin raises a brow. “So, why do two people kissing in a bluish light make you think of me?”

And for the first time since Beomgyu started this routine, he’s left speechless, choking on all the things he could say but doesn't know if they can be said in the first place. He doesn't know if Soobin likes men, if Soobin will find it weird that Beomgyu thinks about kissing him in a museum with blue lights like Ferris and Sloane do in the movie, if Soobin even sees him as someone other than the boy who disturbs him every weekend. He’s sure that he looks like a fish out of water, with flushed cheeks and mouth opening and closing with no sound coming out. Beomgyu looks like an idiot and he feels like one too.

Soobin seems to feel sorry for him, taking the money and pushing the two chocolate bars at him. "The movie will start in a minute. The bars are 1,000 won each."

Beomgyu takes a deep breath, trying to look relaxed instead of a nervous wreck. He takes only one of the bars, squeezing the chocolate so hard that he’s sure he will find it all broken when he opens the package. "I can't afford another bar.”

"Well, consider it a treat," Soobin says, pushing the other bar of the same flavor toward the boy.

Beomgyu wiggles his eyebrow, his brain not letting him miss the chance to flirt with Soobin one last time before he leaves. "Oh, and may I know the reason for this treat?"

"It's for you to stop bothering me," Soobin replies with a smile, signaling for the next customer to come.

Beomgyu was so busy lost inside his gigantic insecurities that he didn't even notice the couple standing behind him in line. He takes the bar from the counter and moves to the side, making room for the man to place his order. He doesn't get a chance to say goodbye to Soobin or to ask if his words are serious, Soobin is already on his back filling a bucket with popcorn. Beomgyu turns and walks into the room with the two chocolate bars in his hand, his face expressionless as he enters the room and is bombarded by the sound of the opening credits.

It's the first time that Beomgyu watches Ferris Bueller's Day Off and cries at the damn scene that he decided to associate with Soobin for no reason at all. He has no idea why he’s crying and no idea why his chest hurts at the thought of Soobin's words. Is Yeonjun right? Isn't annoying Soobin every weekend the best way to get the boy to see him? Is soobin really not able to stand Beomgyu's presence anymore and was this free chocolate a silent request for him to stop trying?

While Ferris sings Twist And Shout and everyone dances around excitedly, Beomgyu can feel nothing but sadness and despair, thinking that all his chances are as nonexistent as the whole bar of chocolate and peanut that Soobin has picked out for him — his favorite flavor, yet another attempt to please him when he does nothing for the other. Maybe, this approach isn’t working as he thought.

Maybe it's better to leave Soobin alone once and for all.

4

Since that day, Beomgyu really kept his promise of not coming back to the theater, of giving Soobin the peaceful weekend shift the boy deserves, of trying to find another type of approach to make him finally see him. The thing is, after a whole week thinking over and over again, nothing comes to his mind. Beomgyu and Soobin do have the same friends and some classes together, but they’re totally different people when they’re in school. They don’t match the same way they do on the movie theater, their conversations doesn’t last as much as they do in that ticket booth, Beomgyu is not that confident inside those corridors full of lockers and teenagers that would not hesitate to point a finger at him if he even thought about flirting with Soobin. In conclusion, Beomgyu spends the whole time sulking and thinking scenarios where they could meet and chat and maybe walk hands in the afternoon and have a very romantic first kiss with the sunset on the background — he’s a born-romantic for god’s sake, his mind doesn’t know how to conjure scenarios that are not cliche and taken from romances.

So, as much as Beomgyu is trying his hardest to keep the promise he made to himself, he’s slowly turning miserable. He didn’t think almost three months of a weekly routine would make him attached to the small interactions he had with Soobin, with the flirts and the talks and the blushes and everything that used to happen in a matter of a few minutes that seemed like hours. Soobin leisurely becomes something that Beomgyu can’t live without, not only because of his bothersome crush that seems to grow more and more even when he doesn’t see the boy, but because Soobin is a nice person to be around. He’s talkative once he warms up to you and he’s effortlessly funny when he’s flustered, he’s a friend that Beomgyu wouldn’t mind having around.

But as much as Beomgyu thinks all these things about Soobin, the insecurity that clouds his mind is, does Soobin feel the same way about his presence? Does Soobin see him as a friend that he wouldn’t mind having? Does Soobin want Beomgyu around the same way he wants the other? His own brain gives him the answer whenever these questions pop out. No, Soobin doesn’t want you around, he himself said that. Beomgyu is fine, he can live with the acknowledgement that this was always one-sided since day one.

Today is Friday, and the sun is about to set, coloring the world in shades of pink, orange and purple. Beomgyu is in his living room, staring at the turned-off TV while his homework is opened on the coffee table, waiting for him to give it attention. Usually, he’d make sure to get all his homework done before the weekend, so excited about the idea of seeing Soobin and some not important movie that his head almost won't let him relax. He usually does his homework humming some romantic song that makes him think of Soobin, head and feet swaying to the quiet melody, looking forward to the next night. This isn’t how he feels today, not how he has felt for a long time. Now, Beomgyu just wants to finish his homework quickly so he can sit alone in his room feeling sad.

Beomgyu is about to close his notebook and leave everything for tomorrow afternoon when the sound of the doorbell calls him. He spends almost every afternoon alone, his parents working and his brother in college, it's not as if there’s any company for him besides the family parrot that is insistently warning him that there’s someone outside. Beomgyu walks to the door with the footsteps of a dead boy, a shabby zombie from old movies, almost dragging himself to the doorknob.

Few things surprise him in this life, and one of them is the sight he sees as soon as he opens the door. Yeonjun and Ryujin, standing back to back in casual clothes and talking in whispers about something, bleached hairs like a corny couple who feel the need to match everything. Beomgyu coughs, drawing attention to the two who turn around with tired but friendly smiles on their faces — at least on Ryujin's part, Yeonjun always has the smile of someone who’s about to embarrass Beomgyu every time they see each other. Beomgyu crosses his arms, glancing quickly at the clock that stands near the door and turning back with a confused look at the two.

"Hello?" He says, frowning.

"Hi Beomgyu, you have a nice house,'' Ryujin says, trying to look into the house from behind Beomgyu's body.

"Ryujin, it's just a house, stop wanting to stare at everything," Yeonjun complains, rolling his eyes. "What's up Beoms,"

Beomgyu points a finger at the two, still confused. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Paying a little visit to my favorite best friend, what else?" Yeonjun croons, trying to sound cute in a way that Beomgyu knows well as something fake. Don't get it wrong, Yeonjun can be pretty cute when he wants to be, but after seeing very different facets of his friend, Beomgyu can no longer take the other's cuteness seriously.

"Shouldn't you guys be working?"

"Day off," Ryujin replies.

"And you chose to pay me a visit on the only day off you have?" Beomgyu continues, disbelief explicit in his tone.

"Can't we make a visit anymore without you getting all suspicious?" Yeonjun huffs, slapping his hands on the sides of his thighs.

"Hyung, you’re strictly forbidden to enter my house since you broke my mother's favorite china plate," Beomgyu recalls.

"Dude, that's literally the number one rule of things not to do in a friend's house," Ryujin says, shaking her head, her long hair swaying together.

Yeonjun wails. "Why does your mother act like I broke the plate on purpose? It was an accident!"

"You know, I don't think trying to balance the plate on your head is considered an accident in case it breaks," Beomgyu teases, causing Ryujin to hide a giggle behind closed lips. Yeonjun narrows his eyes, probably already planning a way to make Beomgyu embarrassed in front of Soobin in the future.

Oh, Soobin. Just thinking about his name makes Beomgyu feel a little lonelier, a little sadder, more homesick than he should be. Now Beomgyu can listen to songs about broken hearts and understand the lyrics and emotions perfectly — even if technically his heart wasn't broken, after all, they never even dated in the first place. He’d like to know how Soobin is doing, if he’s happier now that he can work in peace, now that he no longer has an annoying Beomgyu on his shoulder disturbing his day.

"Earth to Beomgyu," Yeonjun says, snapping his fingers in the boy's face. "We need to ask you a favor."

Beomgyu blinks, slowly getting back to reality. "A favor?"

"Yes, but first can you let us in? We're freezing our asses here," Yeonjun replies, and only now does Beomgyu realize how the boy is shivering under his thick jacket.

Beomgyu moves away from the door, making room for the two to enter, then closes the door. Yeonjun is already more than familiar with the place after too many weekends of slumber parties, birthday parties, and some family lunches that usually ended in fights and make outs within a few hours. He’s already used to the overdone decoration and to the atmosphere that really feels like home, but Ryujin is not. The girl whistles as she takes a good look around the house, acting as if she were entering the palace of some king. Beomgyu is still standing in front of the closed door, watching the two blondes who seem to be warmer now that they’re out of the icy wind.

"So, are you guys going to start talking?" Beomgyu asks, his hands restless on the side of his body.

"You have a nice house," Ryujin compliments, turning around completely to get a look at all the decorations on the walls and ceiling.

"That's not what I wanted you to talk about, but that's okay. Thanks for complimenting my house," Beomgyu smiles politely, turning to yeonjun. "Why did you come here?"

"Well, I came for an intervention," Yeonjun replies, a more serious air surrounding him.

"I came for moral support, and something you'll see later," Ryujin then says, waving a bag that Beomgyu didn't even realize she was holding.

"I don't know what I should be more afraid of first," Beomgyu comments, moving away from the door and walking towards the living room, leaning on the couch. "Which is worse?"

"The bag in Ryujin's hand, for sure," Yeonjun replies before the girl has a chance to say anything, receiving a frown immediately afterwards. It's funny to see the way the two silently bicker, with only looks and absolutely no words. If Beomgyu didn't know Yeonjun so well, he'd say he's hopelessly in love with the girl.

Beomgyu claps his hands together. "Yeonjun, you go first. I'll deal with whatever is inside that bag later."

One thing about Yeonjun is that he never beats around the bush. If he has something to say, he'll say it all at once, like ripping off a bandage. That's one of the reasons Beomgyu finds it easy to talk to the older, but today he doesn't find the conversation that easy. Yeonjun just turns to him with a feline gaze that is prepared to catch every change of feeling inside Beomgyu and says, "You need to go back to the theater."

The words take a while to understand, but once Beomgyu understands them, he can't help but be confused. "What?"

"You need to go to the theater again," Yeonjun says, using more words to explain something that Beomgyu had already understood.

Beomgyu frowns. "Wasn't it you who said I should stop spending money in that place?"

"That was before I saw how you and Soobin are two idiots," Yeonjun snorts.

"Hey, I'm not an idiot," Beomgyu complains. He feels like defending Soobin too, but he's sure that if he does, it’ll make it very explicit that maybe Soobin isn't just a stranger slash future friend slash love of his life.

"Yes, you are," Yeonjun says, raising his hand to silence Beomgyu before he can complain again. "You two are idiots and miserable. Soobin is turning the back room into a terrible environment by asking why you haven't shown up for two weeks and sulking until his break is over."

Those take a little longer to be understood by Beomgyu's mind, so unexpected they are. Soobin is missing him, Soobin is sulking because beomgyu isn't showing up at the theater. His poor hope-filled mind fills him with questions at that moment, there are so many things he wants to ask, that he wants to know. If Soobin didn't want him to stay away, why did he say that? Nothing makes sense. Beomgyu is almost starting to think he got it all wrong until Yeonjun continues.

"If I have to hear one more time about how he wants to see you again while I’m eating my sandwich, I swear I’ll make your life a living hell." 

Ryujin's laughter is the only thing that Beomgyu's mind registers before he cracks a big smile and throws himself backwards, falling straight onto his back on the soft upholstered couch. He’s dreaming, he’s sure he’s dreaming and it’s alright; there’s a big smile on his face that makes his eyes close. Soobin has missed him, Soobin has spent time thinking about him just as Beomgyu did. Soobin might like him, might not think he's just an irritating brat who won’t leave him alone. Beomgyu swings his legs and covers his face, feeling the skin of his cheeks slightly warm at the thought of Soobin — something that always happens when he's alone. But he's not alone, and he doesn't realize it until he hears Yeonjun huffing.

"Are you done with your little gay outburst of happiness?" Yeonjun says as soon as Beomgyu gets up from the couch, feeling embarrassed under Ryujin's gaze. It's one thing for Yeonjun to say that when it's just the two of them, but it's another to have a technically unknown person hear about one of Beomgyu's biggest secrets.

"Yeonjun," Beomgyu calls out with a slight desperation in his gaze for Yeonjun explicitly saying that he’s gay.

"Oh, don't worry," Yeonjun says, signaling to Beomgyu not to worry, slipping his arm around Ryujin's shoulders and pulling her closer. "She's gay too."

"Oh," Beomgyu breathes out, a little more reassured knowing that today is not the day where he's going to wake up tomorrow and find out that everyone knows about his sexuality that should be a secret.

"That’s why I'm here for moral support," Ryujin smiles, swinging around to take Yeonjun's arm off his shoulders with a grimace.

"Gays have to help each other, right?" Yeonjun says, winking in that funny way of his where he closes both eyes instead of just one.

Ryujin rolls her eyes. "Just because you're an ally doesn't mean you can put yourself in the same place as us."

"Ouch, Ryu. I already said I'm not just an ally," Yeonjun complains, pouting.

"Let's talk about this later," Ryujin speaks up, giving Yeonjun a gentle nudge in the head. She turns her attention back to Beomgyu, swinging the bag with an excited expression on her face. "Now that everything is settled, let's move on to the second part of our intervention."

Beomgyu blinks. "Settled? But I—"

"Beomie, you know damn well that now that you know how much Soobs is dying to see you, you're going to show up at that movie theater tomorrow anyway," Ryujin interrupts, grimacing at Beomgyu's lack of excitement at knowing what's inside the bag.

"That's not how it works," Beomgyu mutters.

"That's totally how it works," Yeonjun snickers. "Beomie, everyone knows how much you're waiting for just one chance to run through the snow right now and go to where Soobin is."

"Hyung!" Beomgyu whines. "I'm not like that."

"No need to pretend, Ryu already knows you're a hopeless gay," Yeonjun wiggles his eyebrows. "And that's why she's here to give you a new look. So you can keep being a hopeless gay, but a handsome hopeless gay."

"Yeonjun!" Ryujin complains, looking angrily at Yeonjun’s figure who’s walking straight into the kitchen. “You ruined the whole surprise."

"New look?" Beomgyu asks, staring at the girl.

"What do you think about some bleached highlights?" Ryujin says cheerfully, waving two products that Beomgyu once saw in her mother's bathroom cabinet. 

Beomgyu just sighs, walking to the kitchen with an excited Ryujin talking non-stop about everything they can do to his hair, Yeonjun equally excited talking to the girl about it. This afternoon, Beomgyu just closes his eyes and hands his new look into the hands of two people who might not be the most reliable when it comes to hair, but he doesn't care. The only thing that matters is that Soobin misses him, and Beomgyu intends to change this the next day.

He’s sure he looks ridiculous while walking the whole path from his house to the movie theater. It took one look in the mirror before coming for Beomgyu’s confidence go straight down the drain, his mind making him think off all the things Soobin could do as soon as he sees the new visual Yeonjun and Ryujin decided for him — there’s a loop in his mind of Soobin laughing at him, saying he looks stupid or just silently staring and deciding to make fun of him behind his back. Sometimes, Beomgyu’s mind is his worst enemy.

Beomgyu takes longer than necessary to get to the ticket booth, looking at every reflective surface possible to make sure he doesn’t look as ridiculous as he feels. One minute he tells himself the bleached highlights mixed with his naturally brown hair doesn’t look that bad, a burst of self-confidence filling him; next minute, he looks at himself and wants to turn his back and lock himself in his room until everyone forgets about his existence, no room for confidence inside him. 

It’s an ugly silent fight that lasts minutes until he finally gets to his destination, his feet wanting to flee but there’s no reason to go back now that he’s here. Soobin isn’t working on the ticket booth tonight, Beomgyu buys his ticket as fast as he can, making small talk with a boy he knows is called Changmin but they never were properly introduced or exchange more than polite greetings. Changmin excitedly talks about the special horror marathon the theater is making in the middle of april and all the movies they screened while Beomgyu were gone, saying that he’s looking forward to the first Child’s Play.

While walking inside the theater after bidding goodbye to Changmin, Beomgyu thinks that maybe chose the worst day to come back. He’s not a big fan of horror movies and he definitely isn’t ready to watch A Nightmare on Elm’s Street all by himself in a big room. He walks to the snack booth as slowly as he can, his hands sweating inside his hoodie pocket, he feels them clammy around the ticket that’s already making him regret his decisions. If he’s sweating because of the movie or the prospect of talking to Soobin after all these weeks, he can’t say for sure.

Soobin isn’t in the snack booth either, in his place there’s a girl with cat-like eyes and long brown hair, chewing the sweet popcorn that no one buys. He knows her, Ryujin spent the last afternoon talking so much about her that Beomgyu has her name, favorite color and favorite ice cream flavor. Yeji smiles when Beomgyu only asks for two lollipops, the only thing he can buy with the leftover bills he has inside his wallet — it’s not like he could just turn his back and leave, it’ll be too embarrassing to admit that he only came to the snack booth because he thought Soobin was there. She gives him two strawberry lollipops and tells him to have a good movie, going back to her sweet popcorn and stare into nothingness.

If he was regretting coming here tonight when Changmin told him the movie he was going to watch, now he’s one hundred percent certain that he shouldn’t have let Yeonjun and Ryujin get into his mind and make him come today. Soobin is nowhere near the lobby or working as usher in the rooms that Beomgyu passes through. What if he had the misfortune of coming back on Soobin’s only day off? What if Soobin is working on another thing and they won’t be able to see each other tonight? What if Soobin thinks Beomgyu still doesn’t want to see him? He’s getting crazy, and about to go insane at each step he takes closer to the poster of Freddy Krueger showing his big metal claws.

“Beomgyu?” Someone says, Beomgyu doesn’t need to listen again to know the person behind this voice. After all, this same person is the only thing on his mind ever since he left his home — actually, this person is always the only thing on his mind, doesn’t matter the time of the day, doesn’t matter what he’s doing.

“Soobin,” he breathes out, looking directly at where the boy is.

Soobin is working as usher tonight, the red vest one size bigger than his body making his skinny frame look ridiculous, but Beomgyu can only think about how beautiful he still is. There’s a shy smile slowly tugging at the corner of his lips, his hair covering his forehead and a little bit of his eyes, but Beomgyu still can see the glint in them. He doesn’t want to feed on the hope that Soobin is happy to see him, but his head can't help thinking about it. Soobin is smiling, his eyes are shining, and he’s there, waiting for Beomgyu, happy to see Beomgyu — longing for the other's presence as Beomgyu is longing for his. It’s almost worrying how fast Beomgyu’s heart is beating, how his legs want to run until he’s close to Soobin, how his hands sweat even more at the prospect of being face to face with Soobin — no glass, no counter, no booth to separate them.

“Hey,” Soobin greets once Beomgyu stops a good centimeter away from him, both equally restless and not knowing what to do. Soobin still looks surprised, not sure if he’s really seeing Beomgyu or if he’s longing is making him go nuts to the point of seeing the boy when he’s not there. And seeing Beomgyu with new hair, beautiful new hair. “It’s been a while.”

Beomgyu bites his bottom lip. “Yeah, it’s been a while.”

“Where have you been?” Soobin asks, late noticing that maybe he shouldn’t have worded that way. They’re not even friends per se, Soobin is in no place to ask such a thing, to demand to know where Beomgyu was. “I’m sorry, that’s not— I shouldn’t have asked— I mean, you don’t have to tell me. Like, it’s totally normal if you don't want to come here anymore, this place is kinda trash. And old movies sometimes get tiring, I suppose. Yeah, so—”

“Soobin, relax,” Beomgyu interrupts, smiling at the boy’s non-stop rambling. Soobin looks cute, Beomgyu feels his heart beating faster thinking about how he's one of the lucky people who can experience such cuteness from up close. “There’s no problem. I was just… busy with some things.”

He knows he shouldn’t lie, but he doesn’t have the courage to say that he didn’t come because he thought Soobin didn’t want to see him anymore. He doesn’t want to fill their already awkward conversation with even more awkwardness. For now, Beomgyu wants to enjoy this moment, wants it to last until the silence finally catches up to them and they have to go their own way.

“Oh,” Soobin says, fidgeting with the flashlight in his hands. It seems that the silence came faster than Beomgyu expected, and he’s not sure how to scare it off. He could flirt with him right now, but he doesn’t know if that’s the thing that made Soobin say that thing weeks ago in the first place. What if he doesn’t like his flirts? What if he gets uncomfortable? What if Soobin thinks Beomgyu is crossing the line? 

For now, he settles on the safe path. “So, they changed you again.”

Soobin takes a while to understand what Beomgyu is talking about, opening his mouth in a silent exclaim, looking down at his oversized clothes. “Yeah, boss put me as an usher after he discovered I gave a free chocolate bar to a certain someone.”

Beomgyu freezes, staring at Soobin’s childish features, feeling guilt start to sink in his stomach. “Shit, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry! I can pay for the chocolate, just let me—”

“I’m kidding!” Soobin is fast to interrupt, his hands coming closer to Beomgyu’s frame but never touching him. He shakes his head and hands, hair going to all sides, feeling horrible for making that joke. “I’m sorry, it wasn’t that funny. I shouldn’t have joked with something like this.”

It’s weird, this new dynamic between them. There’s push and there’s pull but they’re not going anywhere; they’re walking on eggshells and hoping the other doesn’t fall once they take a step. Beomgyu doesn’t remember them being like this weeks ago, maybe something shifted in the time they spent away from each other. Maybe all the slow progress that can’t actually be called a progress is back to zero. Beomgyu is back at square one, not sure if this is something good or something horrible.

Beomgyu breathes, trying to scare away the insecurities biting his shoulders. “That was a good one, almost got me,” he says, a forced chuckle leaving his throat.

“I’m not very funny, sorry,” he says, looking away. He’s back at his place, close to the door, away from Beomgyu.

“It’s alright, it was funny,” Beomgyu tries to reassure him, watching the way Soobin runs his hands through his hair and closes his eyes tightly, probably mentally cursing himself. “If my free chocolate wasn’t the reason you left the snack booth, care to tell me why you’re working as usher?”

Soobin gnaws on his bottom lip, a little hesitant as he always does when he’s about to tell something that probably sounds a little too off. “I asked Yeji to change with me so that I would have more time to talk to you.”

He says those words so fast that Beomgyu takes some seconds to understand them, to be surprised by Soobin’s confession — not that type of confession, but still one nonetheless. Soobin wanted more time to talk to him, Soobin wanted to talk to him. Beomgyu is pretty sure he’s about to pass out, fall into the carpeted floor and embarrass himself in front of this pretty boy. Beomgyu spent days mulling over the fact that Soobin never wanted to see him again when all the boy wanted was to talk more to him.

If this is a dream, Beomgyu never wants to wake up.

“You wanted to talk to me?” Beomgyu breathes out, eyes a bit widened.

Soobin is slowly blushing, but the lightning in this part of the theater doesn’t give Beomgyu enough brightness to see it. He looks at the flashlight in his hands, nodding. “I like talking to you, Beomgyu.”

That’s it. This is definitely a dream, Beomgyu is probably fast asleep on his couch, dreaming about the things that won’t happen once he wakes up and goes to the theater.

Beomgyu inhales deep, a question still burning in his mind. “But I thought—”

“I didn’t mean it what I said that night,” Soobin says, not giving him the chance to finish. They both know what’s the topic in hand, they both have their own doubts. “I was joking, but as you can see I’m not very good at it.”

“You don’t think I’m a bother?”

“No, I never thought of you like that,” Soobin replies, fidgeting with the flashlight. “I like you, Beomgyu.”

Beomgyu chokes on nothing, coughing aggressively while trying to even his breathing. His heart is in his throat, threatening to run away if he coughs one more time. That wasn’t what he was expecting to hear, especially coming from Soobin lips so randomly, so unexpecting. Another reason for this to be a dream, another reason for Beomgyu to wake as fast as possible before he starts going insane.

Soobin’s eyes widened at the confession, that’s not how this was supposed to be. He needs to change it, needs to make amends as fast as possible. He says the first thing that comes into his mind. “Not like that! I don’t like you!”

Beomgyu raises his head slightly, staring at the boy with glossy eyes from the force of his cough. “You don’t like me?”

“No! I mean, yes!” Soobin mixes up the words, his cheeks blooming red like a pretty rose. “I like having you around, Beomgyu.”

They stay in silence after that, both lost after Soobin’s words. Beomgyu shouldn’t feel so much giddiness inside him after listening to that, after finally knowing that Soobin likes to have him around and to talk to him, the same Beomgyu likes him. He can’t help it, it’s like he’s walking on a flowery path, grass brushing on his ankles and the sun shining on his skin, he’s in what people call heaven. Soobin is somewhere in this place, maybe he’s the place in question, and Beomgyu is having the privilege of seeing it, of being part of it. His mind thinks about corny scenarios, things that if Yeonjun heard would probably never let him live in peace, but Beomgyu doesn’t mind.

“Didn’t took you for the horror enthusiast type,” Soobin finally breaks the silence, still not having the courage to look in Beomgyu’s face — he already had to use all the small courage inside him to say those words, he doesn’t have the capacity of doing the two at the same time.

Beomgyu takes a minute to reply, still lost in the sappy scenarios he created. “I’m the biggest horror enthusiast.”

“Well, you lost two movies, but I’m sure you can still catch up to Child’s Play next week,” Soobin comments, not even seeing past Beomgyu’s blatant lie. He was so invested in this awkwards but marvelous conversation with Soobin that he totally forgot he’s seeing a horror movie in some minutes.

“You can rest assured that I’m going to be here last week.”

“If you want to, I can put the other two movies you lost,” Soobin says, hesitant and sheepish at the same time.

“It’s not necessary!” Beomgyu is fast to reply, shaking his head. “I’m fine losing whatever you guys screened.”

“ Halloween 2 and Psycho 2, ” Soobin says with a chuckle at Beomgyu’s reaction. “That’s the movies you lost.”

Beomgyu should’ve come back last week, at least he’ll have watched something last scary. “That’s a pity.”

Soobin giggles. “You don’t look that disappointed.”

“Trust me, I’m very sad over losing those two movies,” Beomgyu says, taking a deep breath. 

“Ever watched?” Soobin asks, pointing at the poster plastered on the door. Beomgyu doesn’t dare look at Freddy Krueger’s face right now, he’s already pissing his pants just by the thought of seeing this guy on screen later.

Beomgyu shakes his head. “And you?”

“I’m not very fond of horror movies,” Soobin says, a shiver running down his spine while he looks at the poster. “You can say I’m a scaredy-cat.”

Beomgyu raises a brow. “I guess you won’t say yes if I ask you to watch this one with me, right?”

Soobin smiles, for the first time not feeling shy at Beomgyu’s request or slightly flirty demeanor. “I technically will watch the movie even if I said no to you.”

Beomgyu gasps. “Choi Soobin, are you actually saying yes to watch a movie with me?”

“No, I’m saying that I”m an usher, you fool,” Soobin replies, still smiling, a dashing thing that makes Beomgyu feel dizzy. He could watch Soobin’s smile for days and he wouldn’t get enough of it. If prettiness took the form of a person, it’d probably look like Soobin. “I have to go inside from time to time to see if someone is doing something illegal. Thus, I’ll probably get some glimpses of the screen.”

“What do I need to do to make you watch a movie with me?” Beomgyu asks in faux dejection, sighing to emphasize.

“Well, for starters, don’t ask me to see a horror movie with you,” Soobin replies with a giggle, looking at the clock and getting closer to the door. 

Beomgyu knows that this means the movie is about to start, only two other people getting inside and replying to Soobin’s polite talking, too invested in getting inside the room. Even if he knows he should be heading inside too, he doesn’t wanna go yet. He doesn’t want to say goodbye to Soobin yet, doesn’t want their conversation to end so soon — he knows silence will come as it always does, but he wants to make it last longer. Soobin looks like he doesn’t want Beomgyu to go too, feels like the conversation didn’t fill the empty space left from the two weekends Beomgyu didn’t come.

“You hair,” Soobin says, pointing at the bleached highlights that are visible in between his messy hair. “You changed it.”

Beomgyu opens his mouth, taken aback by Soobin’s sudden notice over his new hair. “Ah, yes I did.’

He feels shyness creeping into his skin, making his cheeks hotter by the second now that he has the attention he was expecting ever since he entered the building. He won’t lie, he took Ryujin’s words very seriously when she said that changing your hair will definitely make your crush notice you. He didn’t let the girl and Yeonjun do experiments on his hair the whole afternoon for nothing; he did it because he wanted Soobin to see, to say something, to finally look at him with something more — longed for the thought of Soobin thinking about him as more than the boy from last year’s art class or the boy who’s Taehyun friend or the boy who pays to watch old as fuck movies.

Now that Soobin saw and said something about it, Beomgyu’s not sure how he should react exactly. Ryujin didn’t told him about what to do if the said crush finally notices you, and he’s pretty sure that Yeonjun’s advice of kiss him right on the spot isn’t the best for the moment. Like, Soobin didn’t compliment the hair, he just acknowledged that Beomgyu changed it somehow. He’s spiraling inside his own mind, not sure what to say, what to do, how to react.

Soobin is equally silent, Beomgyu can’t take it anymore. “Changing is always good sometimes, right?”

“Yeah, right,” Soobin replies, but he sounds like he’s far from paying attention to his words. He stares at the way Beomgyu is nervously tugging along one of the bleached strands, long enough for him to be able to touch it and be visible. Long enough for Soobin’s hand to twitch with the want of touching it too, of running his hand on Beomgyu’s hair, of feeling the texture. “Changes are good.”

Time comes, Beomgyu doesn’t have anything to say, nor does Soobin. Actually, they both have too much to say, but some things are better left unsaid — especially when said things are not very well seen by society, especially when said things shouldn’t be said in front of a screening of A Nightmare on Elm’s Street. Beomgyu keeps tugging on his hair, feeling the dried texture on his fingertips, thinking if he should flirt without any care or just get inside the damn room once and for all. The problem is that there’s no opening for flirting, there’s no reason for Beomgyu to mess everything up by making Soobin uncomfortable. Tonight was different from their other interactions along the months, a different that Beomgyu liked, a different he wants to experience again and again.

“I think it’s movie time,” Beomgyu says, but doesn’t make an effort to move. He stays in the same place, not so far from Soobin’s tall and lanky figure but too far for his liking. “See you inside from time to time?”

Soobin seems to finally wake up from the daze he was, blinking and opening a smile at the boy. “If you do something illegal, there’s a big chance I’ll come more times.”

Beomgyu winks, his feet moving in the door’s direction. “I’ll note this down.”

He walks straight inside the dark room, the screen already lit with some opening credits that Beomgyu usually doesn’t care about. He’s about to walk right and get to his seat when he feels a hand on his shoulder, a touch that makes electricity run through his spine, a lightning falling on his body. He turns back, looking at the boy with his hand still on his shoulder. He can't see Soobin's face properly, the darkness of the room and the brightness of the corridor behind him make him look like a shadow. But his smile, this Beomgyu could discern even with his eyes closed. Soobin takes his hand off his shoulder slowly, almost as if it’s happening in slow motion, as if he doesn't want to do it — Beomgyu doesn't want him to take his hand off either, he doesn't want Soobin to move so far away, doesn’t want Soobin to be so close but so far at the same time.

“I liked your hair,” Soobin whispers, silently, words made only for Beomgyu’s ears to listen. “I think you look good with it,” he adds, thoughtful. “Actually, you look good in everything. I—”

“Soobin,” Beomgyu whispers when Soobin goes abruptly silent, still standing in the same place, still looking like he had something more to say.

“Enjoy your movie,” he utters, turns and leaves before Beomgyu can react, can ask, can understand what has just happened. 

Beomgyu walks to his seat with his head full of question marks, full of the questioning that always accompanies Soobin's name. He sits down in his chair with a dreamy sigh and maybe a little embarrassed at the thought of Soobin complimenting his hair — he’s thankful that the movie has already started and the noise in the room is loud, he doesn't want the other two people inside to hear the way he has a small outburst with the knowledge that Soobin thinks he looks good in everything. He tries to pay attention to the movie even with his head full of Soobin and the whole moment they had tonight. He screams through the whole movie and cries in a scene that may have been a little too scary for a scaredy-cat like him.

When the movie ends and he stays in his seat with his legs trembling and heart beating too fast, he doesn’t regret having to watch this movie that probably will give him nightmares for at least three whole nights. He doesn’t regret because now he knows Soobin likes having him around, now he knows that maybe he can have a chance with name — now he knows what it feels to be complimented by the love of his life. Even if Freddy Krueger is plaguing his mind with his ugly face and metal claws, Beomgyu still smiles while leaving the room.

(During the movie, outside of the room where anyone can listen to Beomgyu’s screams and cries, Soobin stays in the same place, endearingly looking at the door. Maybe he likes Beomgyu a little more than he thought, maybe he shouldn’t have wasted his chance when he accidentally said he liked him. Soobin doesn’t have time to drown in the what if’s, another hoarse scream coming from the room calls his attention, making him think only of the owner of such a scream. Soobin is doomed for falling in love with a boy, but at least his doomed falling for a boy like Beomgyu.)

5

“You know, this approach of yours is getting nowhere,” Yeonjun declares, sitting at the restroom sink, his feet dangling in the air as he holds a still unlit cigarette between his fingers.

Beomgyu sighs, head in hands, staring at the slightly yellowish sink. “You think I don’t know?”

Beomgyu is officially starting to get desperate about his crush in Soobin. It's been over five months now that he keeps coming to the movies every weekend without missing a day, spending more money than he has. His wallet is officially empty after he bought today's ticket, which means that either Beomgyu has to do something as soon as possible or give up once and for all — the thing is, he can't do either. Beomgyu is at an impasse, he’s slowly going down the sink drain just like soapy water does.

The problem with Soobin is that he has no idea what to do exactly. Some days they talk for minutes that seem like hours, other days they’re in a silence that no longer is so uncomfortable and awkward. Some days Soobin seems to respond to Beomgyu's flirts, giving the idea that maybe they’re on the same page, about to finally become one word instead of syllables thrown together. And in others, Sooobin seems to purposely pull away, creating an invisible barrier between them that only Beomgyu can see. Soobin is like a rollercoaster, and Beomgyu is starting to feel sick from all the ups and downs. 

And that's why he's standing inside the movie theater restroom with Yeonjun beside him being as useless as possible — Beomgyu should’ve been smarter, what kind of advice could Yeonjun give him if he himself is just another single dude who has never dated anyone. Maybe he should have called Ryujin, but it's not as if the girl could help more than Yeonjun. The truth is that all of Beomgyu's friends are bachelors with no experience, which means that none of them technically know what to do at this point, know how to guide Beomgyu past the fog of uncertainty in his head.

Beomgyu is screwed, so screwed.

“Hyung, I don’t know what to do,” Beomgyu sighs again, running his hand nervously on his hair, watching his reflection in the mirror. It’s clear on his features the distraught going on inside him.

“If you just talked to him maybe you wouldn’t be crying in a theater restroom like a loser,” Yeonjun states, putting the cigarette between his lips, but never liting it.

Beomgyu grimaces. “I’m not crying.”

“But you thought about it,” Yeonjun raises a brow, picking a lighter from inside his black pants pocket. “Just talk to him for god’s sake, Beomie.”

“Hyung, I can’t just talk to him,” Beomgyu whines, aggressively running his hands through his big hair and messing it up. Brown and bleached locks going everywhere, slowly coming back into place once he stops messing with them. “It’s not that simple.”

“Actually, it is that simple,” Yeonjun says, lighting his cigarette, taking a short drag and blowing the smoke up.

Beomgyu twitches his nose. “Isn’t it prohibited to smoke inside here?”

Yeonjun snickers. “It’s prohibited to customers.”

“The morals in this place are kinda off, don’t you think?” Beomgyu says, opening the faucet and letting water run free, not sure why he did that.

“And you’re changing the topic,” Yeonjun comments in a breath, more smoking leaving his mouth. “You called me here just to stare at the sink and mull over the fact that you’re a sissy?”

“Firstly, you’re the one who brought me here,” Beomgyu says, turning the faucet off and crossing his arms. “Second, I’m not a sissy.”

Yeonjun huffs. “Then why don’t you go outside right now and tell Soobin everything you’re little gay heart is feeling since ever.”

It should be easy, right? He should just go to Choi Soobin, who’s probably working on the snack booth tonight after receiving an anonymous complaint saying that he spent more time talking to Beomgyu in line than doing his job. He should finally say how much he likes the boy, how totally sincere his flirts are, how much he’d like Soobin to be his and him to be Soobin's. It should be that easy, but it's not at all. It's one thing to say all these things to a girl, it's another to say it to a boy. Beomgyu isn’t an idiot, he has known the risks from the moment he realized that he liked boys a little more than girls.

It would be easy, if they weren’t two boys.

“Because it’s not as easy as you make it seem,” Beomgyu gives in, his voice barely a whisper, a knot forming on his throat. “Hyung, I can’t talk to him like you talk to girls, because he’s not a girl.”

Yeonjun sits straight, looking worriedly at the boy, who shrinks under his gaze. “Beomie—”

“I can’t go outside and tell him all the things I’m feeling because they’re not supposed to exist,” Beomgyu continues. “I can’t tell him I love him deeply because I’m not supposed to love a boy.”

“Beomie, we already talked about this,” Yeonjun says in a tender tone, slowly putting a hand on Beomgyu's shoulder, careful like touching a scared animal. “There’s nothing wrong with you, there’s nothing wrong with liking boys. There’s nothing wrong with liking Soobin.”

“But there is!” Beomgyu whines again, sounding like a brat. “Hyung, I flirt with him every time I see him, I don’t even know if he likes me.”

Yeonjun purses his lips. “That my friend, is something I can’t help you with.”

Beomgyu rests his elbows on the sink, lowering his head. His brief outburst about liking boys is far from his mind now that he has stopped to analyze something that perhaps his mind confident in flirting as much as possible never seriously thought about. The possibility that Soobin doesn't like boys. The possibility that Soobin doesn’t take his flirts seriously because he thinks Beomgyu is joking. Once the thought settles in his head, he can’t get it off no matter how hard he tries.

“Hyung,” Beomgyu calls, horrified while looking at the boy sitting close to him. “I don’t even know if Soobin likes boys.”

Yeonjun guffaws, coughing once the smoke gets in the wrong place inside him, but doesn’t stop laughing. Beomgyu stares at him unmoving, going silently over his line to know what he said was so funny to get such a reaction from the older. Yeonjun throws himself backwards into the mirror, gradually stopping laughing with a cigarette still in his fingers and tears running down his cheeks. He takes a deep breath, remnants of laughter on his features when he looks at Beomgyu’s displeased face.

“What’s so funny?”

“It’s just,” Yeonjun stops, slightly breathless. “You really are oblivious.”

“I’m kinda regretting coming here with you, since all you did is make fun of me and be unhelpful,” Beomgyu complains, an angry frown on his features that makes Yeonjun coos.

“Beomgyu, for god’s sake it's not possible that you didn't realize yet,” Yeonjun shakes his head, smile strangely fond on his lips.

“Didn’t realize what?”

“That Soobin likes them.”

Beomgyu frowns, confused. “Who?”

“Soobin, who else duh,” Yeonjun snorts.

“I know we’re talking about Soobin, you shithead,” Beomgyu rolls his eyes. “I’m asking who he likes.”

“You gotta be kidding me,” Yeonjun grumps, tapping his forehead with his free hand. “Them! Boys! Men! Soobin likes men, you dickhead!”

He takes a moment to understand the words, opening and closing his mouth, almost forgetting to breathe properly, his head getting full of cotton and making him dizzy. This information shouldn’t leave him this affected, but after months of biting his nails and thinking about Soobin not being into boys and breaking his heart in the best teenage heterossexual style, he can’t help but feel lax. Soobin likes boys, Soobin is just like him, Soobin is still unapproachable but not for the reasons Beomgyu thought before.

“He likes men?” Is the only thing he manages to say, looking at Yeonjun with big curious eyes, like a child seeing something different for the first time.

Yeonjun clicks his tongue. “Jesus Beomgyu, you really are fucking oblivious.”

“Hyung, are you sure about this?” Beomgyu asks, trying as fast as possible to blow the flame of hope burning inside him — which is proven impossible, the flame is already consuming everything around him, there’s no way to tame the fire now.

“He told me and then asked me out right after. I couldn’t be more sure,” Yeonjun declares, crossing his arms. “Besides, how could you not notice that he likes men?”

“Who likes men?”

Beomgyu turns his head so fast that he feels the whole restroom spinning, staring directly at a very calm Soobin standing in the restroom doorway, walking inside and stopping in front of one of the stalls, staring at the two boys standing near the sink. Yeonjun and Beomgyu exchange panicked glances, going from the boy near them to each other three times until Yeonjun sighs, looking at Beomgyu as if silently asking him what to tell.

“No one,” Beomgyu replies, laughing nervously and turning his back to Soobin, watching him through the mirror. “Yeonjun was talking about a friend of his.”

“Yeah, a friend,” Yeonjun emphasizes, but the look he gives Beomgyu says exactly who the friend in question is. “Bumgoo, he’s a sissy that won’t tell his feelings for the boy he likes.”

“Oh, that’s a bummer,” Soobin says, frowning. “You never told me about this friend.”

“I met him some weeks ago,” Yeonjun shrugs.

“What are you two doing here?” Soobin asks, staring at Beomgyu’s back — Beomgyu looks at the faucet, feeling his hands sweating under the gaze, his heart thumping so loud he’s afraid any of them can hear. “I thought only girls go to the bathroom together.”

“Smoke break,” Yeonjun replies, showing his long forgotten cigarette which is now nothing but ashes and a small cigarette butt.

“Why do you never use the back room for this?” Soobin sighs, closing his eyes. “I have bathroom cleaning today, I hate having to clean your cigarette ashes, you know?”

“We all make sacrifices for the greater good, don't we Soobs?" Yeonjun declares, getting up from the sink and standing next to Beomgyu, washing his hands and acting as if nothing serious was going on.

Beomgyu just listens to the whole small talk they made after that about work and how Yeonjun complicates things being the selfish douche he is. Yeonjun laughs and teases and jokes, but Beomgyu is too busy having a breakdown for excess emotions to react to anything he does. It feels like hours until Yeonjun touches his shoulder, drawing his attention. Beomgyu blinks, looking at his friend next to him, who nods in Soobin's direction.

He turns around, looking at Soobin with frowning eyebrows, not knowing exactly what is going on. “Huh?”

Soobin chuckles. “I said your movie is starting in five minutes.”

“Oh, right,” Beomgyu scratches his arms. “Thanks for the heads up.”

“No problem,” Soobin smiles, still standing in front of the brown door, never entering the stall. 

He looks like he’s waiting for something to happen, something that Beomgyu isn’t sure what it is — and frankly, even Beomgyu is waiting for some miracle right now. The moment never comes, another chance the both lose to do something more than stare longing and keep feelings inside each other. Soobin mutters something and enters the stall, leaving Beomgyu on the verge of a real breakdown at the prospect of what could’ve happened if he just said something. At his side, Yeonjun clicks his tongue and shakes his head in disapproval, walking out of the restroom.

Beomgyu follows him almost immediately, walking to the snack booth. He stops as soon as Yeonjun gets inside, crossing his arms and staring angrily at him. “Are you out of your mind?”

Yeonjun fills a glass of diet coke for him, looking boredly at the boy. “What?”

“Bumgoo? Really?”

Yeonjun giggles, taking a sip. “That was a good one, you have to admit.”

“Hyung, Soobin is not an idiot,” Beomgyu groans. “He surely understood who you were talking about.”

“Trust me, he didn’t,” Yeonjun says. “He’s as oblivious as you. Not to the same extent, but he needs a little time to catch things.”

“You’re the worst hyung in the whole world,” Beomgyu huffs, stomping his feet while leaving Yeonjun behind. “I hope you choke on this diet coke.”

He walks in fast steps to the room that’s screening The Parent Trap, praying to God that he doesn’t bump into Soobin on the way there. Which is a waste of time since the first thing he sees as soon as he turns toward the room is Soobin sitting in one of the benches there, seemingly waiting only for Beomgyu to arrive. Beomgyu closes his eyes and curses the God that hasn’t paid attention to his prayers — asking for forgiveness right next, he doesn’t want God’s wrath over him. Soobin beams the moment he sees Beomgyu’s skinny jeans, raising his head to look at the other's face, and Beomgyu is sure that for a millisecond his heart stopped beating.

He knows Soobin is beautiful, he sees Soobin’s beauty every single day in school from afar, sees it close every weekend in the movie theater, sees it up close in his mind and dreams. And yet, he can't help but be amazed every time he sees the boy, especially when he’s smiling and shining as brightly as a shooting star that fell from the sky. He can see the dimples on Soobin’s cheeks, the gleam in his eyes, the joy in the way he gets up from the bench and wait for Beomgyu to get closer — Beomgyu never does, he never gets the right amount of close that both are aching for.

“ The Parent Trap, never watched this one,” Soobin comments.

Beomgyu gasps. “You gotta be joking.”

Soobin shakes his head. “I told ya I don’t watch lots of movies.”

“But it’s not that old! It’s from last year.”

“I know, I worked here when it premiered.”

“And you didn’t watch?”

Soobin shrugs. “Didn’t have a reason to.”

“I thought employees had discount on tickets,” Beomgyu remarks, eyebrows raised.

“We do,” Soobin says. “I just don’t use it as much as the others do.”

“That’s actually very pitiful,” Beomgyu mocks, an idea popping in his head right next. “But maybe, there’s a reason why you haven’t felt the need to watch it that time.”

Soobin raises his eyebrows, blinking. “Oh, there is?”

“You waited so you could watch with me today,” Beomgyu grins. “Destiny was trying to tell you something.”

Soobin chuckles, looking away for a moment. “That was smooth.”

“So, that’s a yes for watching a movie with me today?”

“No.”

Beomgyu sighs, defeated once again. “I’m starting to think that you don’t want to watch a movie with me.”

Soobin freezes, staring straight into Beomgyu’s eyes, an apologetic gleam on those brown orbs. “It’s not that, I swear.”

“Hey, it’s fine if you don’t want to spend time watching old movies with me,” Beomgyu tries to calm him down, Soobin was starting to scare him with the way he’s so tense and unmoving, only his chest going up and down showing that he’s not totally still. “I swear, it’s not a big deal, Soobin.”

“Beomgyu, I want to watch a movie with you,” Soobin says, running one hand on his hair, sounding embarrassed. “It’s just I can’t.”

“You can’t?”

“You only ask me when I’m working.”

Oh, this is not the answer Beomgyu was expecting. He always thought that Soobin was just avoiding him because he didn't like boys, because he didn't like him, because he didn't like watching movies. He doesn't quite know how to respond now that he realizes that the reason for Soobin's rejections is something so simple. Of course he’ll never get to see a movie if he’s busy working, how stupid Beomgyu is. He feels like banging his head against the nearest wall, feeling even more of an idiot for having let his insecurities fill his head with drilled ideas when the reality is totally different. Soobin isn’t refusing to spend time with him, Soobin wants to watch a movie with him.

“The movie is about to start,” Soobin comments, biting his bottom lip. “You should go, you don’t want to lose the beginning, right?”

“I wouldn’t mind,” Beomgyu says without thinking, the words just fleeing from his mouth before he could register them. “I mean—”

“You know, I’d love to listen about the movie later,” Soobin says, walking past Beomgyu, stopping swiftly, their shoulders lightly touching from the proximity. Beomgyu turns his face, in time to see Soobin winking at him, something he can hardly believe he’s seeing. “I’ll be in the snack booth the whole night.”

With that, Soobin walks away without saying anything else, leaving a stunned Beomgyu behind. He almost can't believe what has just happened, his feet walking into the room and carrying him to his seat, but he can hardly focus on anything but everything that has happened in a matter of minutes — from the conversation in the restroom with Yeonjun to the brief moment with Soobin. He can't pay attention to the movie for a minute, his mind much more interested in Soobin; besides, it's not like he needs to see this movie again, Beomgyu has the DVD of it in his house.

Sitting in the dark room with the scene of the twins managing to get their parents to see each other, Beomgyu slowly begins to understand all the layers of his moments with Soobin. Knowing that Soobin likes men is something that seems to be ingrained in his mind — it explains the way he was drooling while talking about the guy who wanted to beat up Yeonjun a few months ago. Soobin likes men, that's a good thing for him, no? The answer seems uncertain, after all, it's not just because Soobin likes guys that it automatically means he’ll like Beomgyu in the same way. He can't think of the possibility that his crush is reciprocal, even if he has reasons to think more positively about it. I mean, Soobin doesn't seem to get bright-eyed with others like he does when he sees Beomgyu, he doesn't seem to get as affected by Yeonjun's or anyone else's flirts, he doesn't seem to hold others' shoulders and compliment them like he's confessing a state secret.

Soobin seems to have a unique way of acting when it comes to him — and Beomgyu is trying very hard not to see anything much in this.

And then the lights inside the room come on as the end credits of the movie are playing on the screen. Beomgyu didn't see the time passing, didn't see when the end of the movie came, he was so lost in his own head and just staring at the screen without paying attention. Soobin's last words beeping in his head like a siren, making him get up from his seat and walk along with the other people towards the exit. Should he leave? Should he go to the snack booth? Should he just get there and say everything he feels and then never step foot in the theater again when Soobin dumps him? Beomgyu is spiraling again, his body making the choice for him while his mind is still in a deadlock.

“Hey,” Soobin calls, drawing his attention. He’s in the empty snack booth, a popcorn bucket in front of him and a smile that beams when he sets eyes on Beomgyu. He didn't notice when his feet took him there, until he’s standing in front of Soobin — the place where he should be.

“Hey,” Beomgyu greets back, slightly hesitant.

“Leftover popcorn is free,” Soobin comments, taking a handful from the bucket and putting one by one into his mouth. Beomgyu follows the movement, watching the salted popcorn with some chocolate on top. "Want some?" He offers when he realizes how much Beomgyu is staring.

Beomgyu frowns. “Is that butter popcorn with chocolate?”

Soobin smiles sheepishly, looking slightly embarrassed. “I know it sounds and looks weird, but it’s actually good.”

“I’m not so sure about it,” Beomgyu says. “But I won’t judge you.”

“Thanks,” Soobin utters. “It’s good to know this is a judgment free zone.”

“Yeah,” Beomgyu says awkwardly, unsure of how to continue the conversation. He knows that Soobin is waiting to hear about the movie, but he doesn't know if he said that earlier just as an excuse for Beomgyu to show up or if he really wants to know about The Parent Trap — he can't think of a reason why Soobin would want to know about this movie in question, he has never asked about the movies Beomgyu has seen before.

“So, how was the movie?” Soobin asks, giving Beomgyu a light in the midst of the darkness of uncertainty that was haunting him. Soobin puts popcorn in his mouth and smiles immediately afterwards, making all insecurity disappear from Beomgyu's body immediately.

“It was nice,” Beomgyu replies, leaning his elbows on the counter, keeping the same distance as always. “This is one of my favorite movies ever.”

“You have a lot of favorite movies, don’t you?” Soobin comments, sounding amazed.

“My parents used to watch lots of movies in the living room when I was young, so I kinda took my favorite ones from them,” Beomgyu mentions, not sure if this was the answer Soobin was waiting for.

“Is there any reason for this one to be one of your favorites?”

Beomgyu raises a knowing brow. “Are you sure you want me to start talking about it?"

“Maybe I do,” Soobin hums. “Tell me more about The Parent Trap, Beomgyu.”

Beomgyu spends the next few minutes giving the best possible summary of the movie, which still ends up coming off more like a retelling of all the scenes. He talks about how the twins meet, how they find out about their parents' past, their plan to change places to meet their parents, their plan to bring the two back together. He talks about his favorite scenes and even quotes some lines that he knows by heart, eliciting delighted laughs from Soobin, accompanied by sparkling eyes. Soobin spends all these minutes listening attentively to everything he says, making comments and asking questions when there are openings, not looking away from the boy for a second. Soobin seems mesmerized, looking at Beomgyu as if he were the only person in this theater, as if he were the only thing in the whole world — and maybe he is, maybe Beomgyu is the only person who matters to Soobin in this theater tonight.

“You really like this movie,” Soobin says once Beomgyu stops talking, an amazed sigh coming from his lips. “It’s endearing.”

Beomgyu almost chokes. “Endearing?”

“Yeah, I don’t see lots of people talk so happily about something they like,” Soobin observes, a finger close to his slightly pink and glistening lips from all the times he ran his tongue over while eating. “You look cute.”

This time, Beomgyu chokes for real. He aggressively coughs, beating his hand on his chest to calm his body. He hears Soobin chuckling, and he can't get angry at the other's reaction when the sound is so adorable that it makes Beomgyu want to melt into a puddle on the sticky, dirty ground he’s standing on. “Cute?”

“You didn’t told me the reason this is one of your favorites,” Soobin pinpoints, ignoring his reaction over the compliment and pretending que never said anything — but there’s a knowing smile on the corner of his lips, almost a smug, he’s totally silently bragging over getting such a reaction out of Beomgyu.

“Oh, it’s actually kinda silly,” he says, looking away.

“I don’t mind,” Soobin says, staring intently at the boy in front of him. It’s weird to see Beomgyu like this, so cutely hesitant and looking smaller than he is; but Soobin is delighted, drinking in the privileged vision he’s having right now. “I like silly things.”

“It’s just,” Beomgyu hesitates only for a moment, looking dreamily at Soobin’s face. He watches the way the dimples appear in his cheeks when he’s smiling like this. It’s lovely, it makes him want to poke it and squish Soobin’s cheeks altogether, he can’t take his eyes off him. “This movie gives me the same feeling of falling in love for the first time.”

“A movie that isn't even a romance is capable of leaving you like this while you complain of the romance movies, I can’t understand you,” Soobin laughs, chewing on the butter popcorn still left in the bucket.

“It’s because romance movies are too cliche, too boring,” Beomgyu says, grimacing. “ The Parent Trap shows love in its pure form. It happens naturally, not forced like those low quality romance movies portraits.”

“I think you’re taking this topic too seriously. Never thought you'd be the romantic type.”

“Hey, I can be a romantic when I want to,” Beomgyu protests, pouting.

“I know you can, it’s just… funny,” Soobin says, thoughtful. “You don’t look like the type to know that much about love.”

“Now you’re just putting me down,” Beomgyu whines, a bigger pout on his lips. “What type of person do you take me for?”

“Not the romantic type, I’m sure.”

“C’mon, I’m just like everyone else. I too believe in true love and love at first sight and all the types of love,” Beomgyu defends himself.

Soobin snorts. “You believe in true love?”

“Don’t you?”

“Not sure,” Soobin sounds thoughtful. “I mean, it must exist. But I’m not sure if it’s real.”

“Well, I believe very much. Especially when I look at you,” Beomgyu flirts, the truth is so visible in those words that anyone could see, anyone but Soobin.

But maybe this time, Soobin saw. His laugh from before dies down, a frown appearing on his features, hiding away the dimples that Beomgyu cherishes the most. They stay silent for a moment, Beomgyu almost feeling the need to take back his words, to say that he’s joking, to ask if Soobin is uncomfortable.

“Beomgyu, have you ever fallen in love?” Soobin asks, in a whisper that would tame Beomgyu’s nervousness if he asked another thing.

Beomgyu gulps. “Yes.” He leaves the part that Soobin is the person that he’s fallen for — that he’s falling for every single day. He could tell everything right now, is the perfect opening for it, but he’s not sure if he should. Beomgyu lets another chance pass by. “And you?”

Soobin blushes, so hard that it takes Beomgyu by surprise. He didn’t say or do anything to warrant such a reaction, he blinked while staring at the pink crawling in Soobin’s cheeks. Soobin averts his gaze, looking hard to the popcorn bucket that separates their hands. “Maybe.”

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Beomgyu says, trying to maintain the calm conversation they were having. He doesn’t want silence to creep in yet, he still wants to talk to Soobin carefreely as they were doing.

“What?”

“To fall in love,” he breathes out, feeling hard to breathe properly under Soobin’s shy and surprised look.

“I—” Soobin stops, sounding breathless. “It’s nice. It’s really nice.”

“I agree,” Beomgyu says, his eyes never leaving Soobin’s, searching for the thing that he’s been dying to know ever since. Do you like me? Do you think about me like I think about you? Am I the person you’re in love with? Beomgyu asks all these questions in his gaze, but Soobin doesn’t have the answers in his.

“Beomgyu,” Soobin calls, another whisper that sends shivers all over Beomgyu’s body. He absentmindedly approaches Soobin, the counter being the only barrier between them, but Beomgyu keeps bringing his face closer. Hypnotized, that's how he feels at this moment. Soobin's eyes are calling for him, they’re asking him to come closer, they’re waiting to give him all the answers he needs. Beomgyu is dying to have these answers, he just lets himself be pulled in. “Do you—”

“Beomgyu, what the hell are you doing here? It’s past closing time,” Yeonjun’s voice  catches their attention, causing Beomgyu to leap away from Soobin, who does the same, nearly hitting the popcorn machine behind him. The two look in the direction of a puzzled Yeonjun, who stares back at the two, pointing a finger at Soobin. “Soobs, don’t you have a restroom to clean?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Soobin says, blinking a few times and shaking his head as he steps out from behind the counter, walking away from Beomgyu without saying anything. He looks lost, his body acting on automatic while his eyes still look surprised by Yeonjun's sudden appearance, his mind thinking about what almost happened. He walks inside the restroom without bidding Beomgyu goodbye, leaving the two boys behind.

It takes Beomgyu only a few seconds to realize everything that was happening. Was he about to kiss Soobin? If Yeonjun hadn't shown up, would the two close the little distance between them? What Soobin was about to say? Damn Yeonjun and his habit of showing up at the most inopportune moments. Now, Beomgyu will have to spend the whole night thinking about what if's and how he could be kissing Soobin right now if Yeonjun didn't show up.

“Ya, dickhead,” Yeonjun calls, eyebrows raised. “Get out of here.”

He walks with heavy, brawny steps to where Yeonjun is standing, bumping into his shoulder with an angry grimace, walking toward the exit. His feet seem to weigh like iron bars, his heavy steps complicating his exit as he approaches it. He doesn't want to leave, he wants to go into that restroom and say everything he's feeling to Soobin and maybe hope that it's reciprocated and he finally kisses the lips he's been longing so much to kiss — even if a first kiss in a restroom isn’t at all romantic, Beomgyu wouldn't complain as long as he's kissing Soobin. He sighs as he approaches the exit, now he can't stop thinking about kissing Soobin.

"You know, you'll thank me later," Yeonjun says, stopping in front of the door with the keys in hands. Beomgyu didn't even realize that he was following him the whole way.

“Thank you?” Beomgyu snorts. “For cockblocking me?”

“For preventing you from having your first kiss in a snack booth, you stinker,” Yeonjun huffs, pushing him out of the theater. “Now leave before I go in that restroom and tell Soobin how gay you are for him.”

Beomgyu shows Yeonjun his tongue before the boy closes the glass door in his face, showing a middle finger as he locks the door. He turns and starts to make his way back to his house, for the first time slightly sad that he didn't say goodbye to Soobin —call him whipped, but Soobin's goodbye’s always soothes his heart and leaves him warm until next weekend. He’s also sad for not knowing what Soobin was going to say, for not knowing what was going to happen when the two were getting closer. Beomgyu wishes he could go back in time and kick Yeonjun away before Soobin runs off into the restroom.

“Beomgyu!” He hears someone shouting, turning his face just in time to see a slightly out of breath Soobin running towards him, a mop in hands and a smile breaking out on his face as he sees that he has managed to get the other's attention.

“Soobin?” He frowns, bewildered.

“I—” Soobin starts, catching his breath as far as he can manage, panting. Beomgyu didn't even notice that he had walked far enough that the theater was out of his sight. “Let me… catch… my breath.”

“Soobin, what are you doing here?” Beomgyu asks, puzzled. He should be cleaning the bathrooms, shouldn’t he?

Soobin takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. “I forgot to say bye.”

Beomgyu chortles. “You runned all the way just to say bye?”

“I also wanted to tell you to be careful on the way,” Soobin adds, blushing. “It’s late.”

“Oh, you were worried about me?” Beomgyu coos, not being able to hide his surprise to learn that Soobin ran all the way just to say these things because he was worried about him.

“I’m always worried about you when you’re walking late alone,” Soobin mumbles, looking down at their shoes, a small smile noticing that Beomgyu is wearing the green all-stars he said he thought was cool a while back. 

“You don’t need to worry so much. I can take care of myself,” Beomgyu reassures him. “I didn’t take karate lessons for nothing.”

“Weren't you the one who said you learned everything you know from watching Karate Kid ?” Soobin says with a raised eyebrow.

“And I learned everything I need,” Beomgyu states, getting a laugh out of Soobin. “But I'm serious, you don't have to worry so much about me.”

“Can’t help it,” Soobin shrugs, leaning on his heels and moving back and forth. “See you next weekend?”

“Same place, same hour,” Beomgyu replies, winking. “Good night, Soo—”

Beomgyu can't finish speaking, the words escaping his mouth and his head shutting down for a few seconds. He feels more than he sees, the sensation of something pressing gently against his cheek, and then pulling away. It takes a while before he understands that Soobin has kissed his cheek with his soft lips and that there’s a space just for them in Beomgyu's mind and dreams. Soobin kissed him, Soobin kissed him, Soobin just kissed him, Soobin came here because he cares and because he wanted to say goodbye to him. Soobin just kissed him.

“Be careful,” Soobin says in a shaky whisper, turning and running back to the theater, not giving Beomgyu time to react in any way other than standing still in the same place, taking a hand to his cheek and touching the place where Soobin's lips have touched.

He watches the boy walk away quickly, wondering if he has dreamed this whole moment. But the feeling of the lips on his cheek were too real to be a dream, the burning in Beomgyu's cheeks at the moment too real to be a dream. He keeps touching with his fingertips the place where Soobin kissed him, a silly smile appearing on his own lips, staring at the almost empty street where Soobin ran out.

Beomgyu really is in love with this boy.

6

If there’s one holiday in the history of holidays that deserves the first place of holiday that Beomgyu loathes the most, that one would be Valentine’s Day. He hates the TV programming being only Valentine's Day episodes, he hates going out on the street and seeing couples rubbing their love and possibly healthy relationships in his face, he hates the stores full of expensive products that are cheap any other day but that elicit smiles from any girl on this day, he hates turning on the radio and having to listen to hours of romantic songs that make him want to bang his head against the wall, even watching his parents acting all lovey-dovey around each other is starting to annoy him. But what he hates most about Valentine's Day is the fact that he only hates all these things because he is single right now. He knows that if he spends the day with his special someone, he will act like everyone else around him. Deep down, he doesn't hate Valentine's Day, he's just bitter and jealous of all these couples because he can't be one of them — and he can't be one of them because he's still a single gay boy who is in love with a boy who isn't even sure if the feeling is mutual.

All those reasons aside, at least Beomgyu has something to do tonight instead of staying in his room sulking over the fact that he's single and things are going to stay like that for a long time. Tonight, he has a lovely date with Indiana Jones at the local movie theater, nothing but the two of them, a cheap popcorn and adventure and action to make Beomgyu forget about his very disappointing romantic life. And obviously, this date includes seeing the only person in this world that Beomgyu would get down on one knee and ask to marry besides Leonardo DiCaprio.

Choi Soobin, with all his gangly glory and hands that move too much while he talks. Just another boy with a short, too-trimmed haircut, remnants of puberty in the form of light pimple spots and chubby cheeks that make Beomgyu want to squeeze them. Just another boy who likes to talk about hero movies and old songs that play on the radio, who doesn't like movies that much but works in a movie theater, who’s embarrassed when he receives compliments and fumbles with his words. Just another boy with eyes that turn into half-moons when he smiles, with dimples in his cheeks, with an upper lip that turns into a thin line when he laughs. Just another boy who should be nothing but a small crush, but who seems to be living longer than he should in Beomgyu's head.

Just Choi Soobin, the boy for whom Beomgyu would do anything in this world.

He should have imagined that his feelings wouldn't disappear overnight after that simple brush of lips against his cheek the night Soobin came running to him like the protagonist of a romance movie. He should have imagined that every night shaking his legs in the air before going to bed while thinking about something that wasn't even a real kiss, every night dreaming about it would make a greater desire grow inside him. The desire to kiss Soobin, which was nothing more than something helpless and tiny, is now a creature that grows too fast in Beomgyu's head, until the moment it will get bigger than his brain and end up opening a hole in his forehead to escape and realize his desire.

Beomgyu doesn't know what to do, he doesn't even know what Soobin and he are exactly, on what spectrum from friends to lovers they are. Are they complete strangers yet? Yes. Can they be classified as friends even though they know nothing about each other? Maybe, he’s not sure which option to mark for this one. Do they have any chance of becoming something other than this unclassified thing? Beomgyu is sure that the answer to this question is no with a capital N. He shouldn't be so sad that things aren't happening the way he wants them to, after all, having Soobin as an almost-friend is already something he never imagined would happen, but he can't help but think of other possibilities.

He is an incurable romantic, no matter how much he pretends and says he isn't and that he’d never do the things he sees protagonists in movies and sitcoms do on television — secretly he knows he’d do all that and more, especially if the person on the receiving end is Soobin. As much as he knows that things will never go forward and that he couldn't do half of those things in the society they currently live in, he can't help but dream of ridiculous and perhaps too fantastical scenarios where he can arrive at the theater and kiss Soobin with everyone around watching, or walk him home at the end of his shift holding hands, or be able to tell everyone that he’s dating this beautiful boy in question and show Soobin off like he’s a masterpiece that everyone should have the chance to see. Beomgyu goes a little overboard in his head with these scenarios, not something that he's very proud of, but a boy can dream, right?

The first thing he notices when it’s his turn to buy the ticket is that Soobin looks different. He’s sure that he looks very strange standing in place with one eyebrow raised as he stares at the screaming new color in Soobin's hair. Red, not like strawberries and roses, but something more of a hue that reminds Beomgyu of the wine his parents leave hidden in the back of the kitchen cupboard. Beomgyu stares at the color until he begins to feel dizzy, until it becomes fixed in his mind along with Soobin's slightly surprised face when he sees him.

“Beomgyu,” Soobin greets, running a hand through his hair to push the strands back — one of his new habits since his hair started to grow so long his bangs almost reach his eyes.

“Your hair,” Beomgyu instead of greeting, still astounded by the new hair color. “You changed.”

"Oh." Soobin pulls out a few strands and looks in their direction with a slightly embarrassed smile, his eyes closing as he turns again to Beomgyu. "I thought a change would be interesting."

"Yeah, change is nice," he replies, still surprised, lips open like a fish. "It looks like a candy apple."

Soobin frowns. “You think I look like a candy apple?”

If there’s something Beomgyu can never stop doing when he’s around Soobin, that something is saying nonsensical things that will always leave the other confused. It's almost natural and automatic, as if some quirky comment always wants to slip out and spoil an already very awkward moment between them. No matter how much the two talk than the nothingness of before, there’s always some moment where an awkward silence will soak them after Beomgyu has said something like what he just said. It's as if his brain needs him to embarrass himself in front of Soobin.

“It looks good on you,” Beomgyu tries to reverse the situation, shaking his head and throwing an equally embarrassed smile at Soobin. “It looks really good on you.”

Soobin raises an eyebrow. “But you still think I look like a candy apple?”

At this point, Beomgyu knows Soobin is teasing him, something he has been doing a lot over the past few weekends. It's as if Beomgyu has acquired enough coins to upgrade his character and now he has in his hands an ultra-rare Soobin that can now counter-attack and that seems to have Beomgyu — even more! — in the palm of his black pen-soiled hands. Soobin seems to mostly take advantage of those moments when Beomgyu fumbles with words and tries unsuccessfully to get back into the mood they were in before he supposedly messed things up with his big mouth. It’s in those moments that Beomgyu finds himself hopelessly smitten by the way he can see a mischievous glint in Soobin's eyes, the small smile appearing at the corner of his lips, the way his hands become restless as if he’s not sure if he can act that way.

And as interesting as it is to be teased by Soobin, Beomgyu isn’t going to give in that easily.

“Actually, I think you look like the love of my life,” Beomgyu smirks, watching Soobin’s confidence break.

His confidence isn’t the only thing that seems to break that moment, but something inside him seems to react automatically to the words spoken. He looks away in a matter of seconds, staring at the tickets on the table in front of him, fiddling restlessly with the pen he always has in hand — Beomgyu can see the notebook full of scribbles and things written that he can't understand from where he is, but there’s everything on the pages; from crooked drawings to stripes made by boredom, a page full of what Soobin does to pass the time. He’s smiling softly, red smeared on the tip of his ears, blending in with his hair color, and Beomgyu knows he hasn't crossed the line.

"So, what's it going to be today?" Soobin changes the topic, but doesn't risk looking at Beomgyu.

“Indiana Jones, baby,” Beomgyu replies with excitement. “Been waiting the whole week to see him beat some nazis and get the holy grail.”

“Oh, they didn’t tell you?” Soobin stares at him, blinking.

“What?”

“Sorry to break it to you, but there’s no Indiana Jones today,” Soobin explains, sounding apologetic.

Beomgyu groans. “Please, tell me you’re kidding me.”

“They’re only screening romantic comedies and sappy romance movies,” Soobin adds, chewing on his bottom lip. “Valentine’s day, you know. Perfect day to take money from stupid couples.”

Beomgyu makes it a secret that he’d love to be one of the stupid couples together with Soobin spending money watching a romantic comedy of dubious quality tonight and then spending more money on a restaurant with bad food and also spending the rest of his savings on a giant teddy bear that he doesn't even know if Soobin will like but that he’s willing to risk. Beomgyu's mind is completely out of control tonight, and he blames the whole atmosphere of love and affection that is surrounding him — it’s really starting to affect him, especially when Soobin is so close.

“But Indiana Jones has romance too,” Beomgyu insists, trying unsuccessfully to get Soobin to stop playing with such a serious subject.

Soobin giggles. “I’m pretty sure there’s not a single ounce of romance in that movie.”

“I’ll let you know that Indiana is a very romantic guy,” Beomgyu retorts, huffing.

He won't lie, this news really spoiled the only good thing that could happen this Saturday. Beomgyu didn't dress up in his best clothes to just be left in the lurch like this, he feels almost as if he has just been left alone in a restaurant since his date stood him up. Indiana Jones failed him on the one night that Beomgyu needed it most, is this how people feel when they’re betrayed? Beomgyu now understands why most people can never recover after something like this happens.

Beomgyu huffs once more, crossing his arms. “What I’m gonna do now?”

“I’m sorry,” Soobin says, lips twisted to one side. “Maybe you can watch When Harry Met Sally ?”

“That’s the thing they’re screening instead of Indiana Jones?” Beomgyu grumbles, shaking his head in an exaggerated reaction. “I can’t believe it! That’s ridiculous! How could they do that?”

“C’mon, it’s not that bad. They say it’s a classic,” Soobin tries to improve the situation to no avail, since he’s trying to hold back his laughter by making a grimace that makes Beomgyu even more annoyed at his huge misfortune tonight. “You can watch another movie. There’s a big premiere today.”

This perks Beomgyu's attention. “A premiere?”

“10 Things I Hate About You.”

“Let me guess, that teen romance everyone was waiting for with Heath Ledger?”

“Yep,” Soobin nods. “Everyone’s buying tickets for that one today. Why don’t you take a risk?”

If today were any other day in question and Beomgyu wasn't in such an affected head full of unattainable romantic scenarios, he might risk paying more for a ticket and watch this movie. The point is that today, he’s quite sure that if he goes into that screening, he’ll end up leaving with five more ridiculous scenarios involving Soobin and him that will do nothing but leave him wanting things that cannot happen. So this movie is off limits for today — Beomgyu is already suffering all day with the craziness in his head, he’d like to get through at least this evening without more romance clogging up his every thought.

Beomgyu bites his lip. “Not so sure.”

“Would you watch it if I asked you to?” Soobin says, staring at him with something that Beomgyu can’t understand clearly.

“You want me to watch a movie just because you’re asking me to?” Beomgyu furrows his eyebrows, puzzled. Why would Soobin ask him to see a movie? Does he want him to give his opinion about it before he watches it? I mean, Beomgyu would totally do it if Soobin asked him to, but it’s still weird. He never asked something like that before.

“Not alone,” Soobin explains rapidly, almost choking and running over his own words. “I mean, I’m not asking you to watch the movie alone.”

“Huh?”

“I… Well, I… You know, I was thinking… I mean, you don’t have to—”

“Soobin, you’re not making any sense,” he interrupts, seeing the way Soobin can't even finish a sentence, his face so red that he looks like a bell pepper.

Soobin looks like he's going to pass out at any moment inside that ticket booth, hands slightly shaking and chest heaving up and down as if he ran all the way to the end of the street and back. Beomgyu is starting to get worried, unsure of what to do, he doesn't know how they went from him complaining about Indiana Jones being canceled to Soobin being a nervous wreck in front of him.

Soobin takes a deep breath, his hands still shaking, lips pursued, eyes closed tight. “Beomgyu, do you want to watch a movie with me?”

For five seconds, he’s sure that the world has stopped around him. If he looks to the side or back, he’ll find everything static, people standing still as if they were statues and nothing but silence around him — in fact, he’s the only person standing still, the only immobile one in that row looking at Soobin like he had just been petrified by the boy's words. Soobin opens one eye at a time, afraid of the reaction that awaits him; he doesn't know whether Beomgyu's silence means a no or something else. The two stand there staring at each other, mouths closed tightly, minds unsettled and unsure, waiting to see who will do something first.

Tonight, Soobin decides to gather some more courage. He has already managed to put out words that seemed not to want to come out in any way, there’s nothing else that can stop him — besides his shyness, his fear of receiving a no, his fear of Beomgyu reacting in some negative way. In other words, there's everything to stop Soobin from continuing, but he's not going to back down now. He has spent too much time circling Beomgyu, it's time to move on and go to him instead of just circling him like a silly insect.

“Beomgyu?” Soobin calls, fidgeting. “Are you okay?”

It takes a few seconds for Beomgyu to really react, until he finally understands Soobin's request, until all the little people working inside his brain manage to fix the software problem. Beomgyu blinks, opens his mouth, closes it, and repeats the process almost seven times until he gets back to normal. At some point, Beomgyu's silly and repetitive reaction elicited a laugh from Soobin, a faint and timid sound. He stares at the boy in front of him, there are still remnants of pink on his cheeks, and his smile doesn't seem as strong as the others.

Soobin looks like a boy who came out of a book, a boy who doesn't look real, but at the same time is the most real thing Beomgyu has ever seen in his life.

Beomgyu gulps. “Are you asking to see a movie with me?”

“Yeah,” he breathes out, running his hand through his hair three times, showing his nervousness. “I clock out in a few minutes, and I have a employee discount on tickets for me and a plus one, but you probably know that since Yeonjun-hyung must have told you,” Soobin keeps talking, faster than usual, his nervousness so audible in his voice that his words come out slightly shuffled and slurred, in an adorable way. “And I thought since Indiana Jones was canceled and you already walked all the way here, you could watch another movie just so you wouldn’t have wasted time coming.”

“Soobin—”

“I mean, you don’t have to say yes just because I’m asking you,” Soobin keeps rambling, not even noticing Beomgyu calling his name. “The movie is probably not that good and won’t be worth our time and money. Besides, if you have other things to do you can totally say no and I won’t be angry or sad or anything. I swear! It’s just… you’ve been trying to ask me to watch a movie with you and I'm always on work hours and it’s never something I want to watch because old movies are not my thing. So I thought, hey, I could ask him to watch something new and—”

“Soobin!” Beomgyu calls again, louder this time.

Soobin’s eyes widen, mouth still open with the words he wants to keep rambling, hands covering it soon after. Another flame of embarrassment engulfs them in the form of the silence that proceeds. Soobin is beet red from the non stop rambling, and Beomgyu is pretty sure there’s faint blush crawling in his own cheeks from all the things Soobin said. Soobin wants to watch a movie with him, he’s asking to watch a movie with him — with pretty brown hopeful eyes and adorable rambling and fidgeting hands. Soobin wants to watch a movie with him, and that’s the only thing that matters for Beomgyu tonight, the only thing swirling inside his not so functioning brain.

“You want to watch a movie with me?” Beomgyu says, confused and giddy at the same time.

“Yes, I…” Soobin sighs, taking a deep breath and trying to calm his shaky voice. “I want to watch a movie with you, Beomgyu.”

“With me?”

“With you.”

“As in,” Beomgyu gulps, unsure if he should ask what he’s been dying to know, “A date?”

“Yes,” he breathes out, still covering his mouth.

“A friendly date?”

“No.” Soobin is fast to reply, getting shy right after. “I mean, if you want a friendly date then—”

“I don’t want a friendly date,” Beomgyu blurts out, pursing his lips.

“Me neither.”

“So,” he starts, but he’s not sure what to say exactly. In his mind, Beomgyu is sure he’s having another Valentine’s day induced daydream right now, in this stupid ticket booth queue with a boy that it’s not that into him. There’s no way Soobin is asking him out on fucking Valentine’s day out of all the days he could ask Beomgyu to watch a stupid teen romance movie.

“ 10 Things I Hate About You ?” Soobin says.

“Yeah,” Beomgyu replies. “I’ll watch whatever you want.”

“That’s good to know,” Soobin chuckles, taking two tickets and handling one to Beomgyu, who holds it like a life vest. Their fingers don't touch, but both are so ecstatic about the premise of watching a movie together — of going on a date that isn’t friendly — that they can't stop giggling and looking in another direction, never staring into each other's eyes. Beomgyu feels like he could explode at any moment from so much happiness.

Silence returns to fill the empty spaces between them, but this time neither of them feels uncomfortable, too busy lost in their own heads, wondering what awaits them during and after the movie — more exactly, what they will do after this supposed date is over. Beomgyu knows that this is the moment to finally confess that he has been in love with Soobin for almost two years, but at the same time he feels that this is not the time. What if Soobin is only being polite by inviting him to watch the movie? What if Soobin doesn't like him in the same way? What if Beomgyu is just seeing too much?

“Time to clock out, pal,” Yeonjun hums, magically appearing near the booth door. He’s wearing the same uniform as always, red and black, his previously dry blond hair now shining in a shade of jet-black that seems to match his pants. He changed his hair last week, saying that he was tired of people asking if he and Ryujin were matching hair for Valentine's Day. “Soobs, get out of here and go find someone to fool around with.”

“Hyung!” Soobin whines, mortified by Yeonjun’s calmness in saying things like that. He opens the booth door and walks out with his body slightly lowered, his height making Beomgyu shrink where he stands — he’s sure that the two people behind him waiting to buy tickets are getting stressed by the delay. “Stop talking like that.”

“There’s nothing wrong in fooling around, you should get railed on this very romantic evening,” Yeonjun says, calmly stepping into Soobin's place inside the booth, ignoring the other customers who seem about to turn and go elsewhere. Beomgyu moves away from his place in line, making room for the teenage couple to finally make their purchase.

Soobin blushes hard, covering his face with his hands in embarrassment. “Hyung, don’t say that!”

“Okay, but at least get someone to kiss you,” he adds, making kissing sounds before closing the booth door and turning his attention to the customers, greeting them with the same seductive voice he usually uses around women.

Soobin still looks mortified by the things Yeonjun has said — and Beomgyu wonders if the two aren't so close because Yeonjun hasn't said a third of the vulgar things he usually says to Beomgyu in normal conversation. Soobin is restless, moving slightly back and forth, his hands are no longer on his face, and Beomgyu can see the almost garish pink on the boy's cheeks. He takes a deep breath, and finally decides to look at Beomgyu, but that look doesn't last long, looks never last long when Soobin is embarrassed like that. Beomgyu smiles, captivated by the boy in front of him. It's impossible not to fall for Choi Soobin, and Beomgyu lets himself be pulled into his gravitational field.

“I’ll change clothes,” Soobin says, words low and shaky, an embarrassed chuckle following next. “Do you mind waiting here?”

Beomgyu shakes his head. “I’ll wait for as long as you want.”

Soobin chokes, coughs and chuckles in a span of seconds, shaking his head and turning, almost speed-walking inside the theater doors. Beomgyu doesn't need to see it to know that there’s a smile on the boy's face, an contagious excitement in the way he almost jumps away from Beomgyu. He can't help but sigh dreamily, his slightly sweaty hands holding the ticket tightly, his stomach turning in a thousand knots of anxiety, his body almost electrified by what awaits him when Soobin returns. Beomgyu is sure that if he could he’d be jumping around the ticket booth and kissing the mouth of any random person in line, from how thrilled he is.

He can hardly believe what has just happened, what is going to happen. It all seems like a dream, and Beomgyu hopes that he won't wake up any time soon or he’ll be very angry with his own body for ending the best thing that ever happened in this life.

“It’s so unfair, all these couples enjoying the evening while I have to spend the whole night here,” Yeonjun complains, face resting on his hands as he stares at the still static figure of Beomgyu.

Beomgyu scoffs. “As if you had anything to do rather than working.”

“I’ll let you know that I have a date later,” Yeonjun says, looking down at the boy. “Unlike you, who’s about to watch a movie all alone on Valentine’s day like the loser you are.”

“You have a date?” Beomgyu furrows his eyebrows. “Who in their right mind would go out with you?”

“I’ll let you know lots of people would die to have a chance to go out with me,” Yeonjun replies with a roll of eyes. “But I won’t tell their name, don’t want to rub on your face that I have someone to kiss later.”

“Have someone ever told you you’re insufferable?” He huffs, crossing his arms. “Besides, I have a date too.”

“You? A date on Valentine’s day?” Yeonjun stays silent for a second, before a loud and clearly forced laugh leaves his lips. “That’s a good one.”

“Well, I had a date with Indiana Jones before romantic movies took my man away from me,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows next, already looking forward to Yeonjun's reaction when he finds out with whom Beomgyu intends to have a date. “But now, I have a real date with a real person.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope.”

“You gotta be joking,” Yeonjun comments, not totally disbelieving, but still not fully believing his friend's words. “Why would you dress up like a kid from Little Rascals for a date?”

Of all the reactions in the world that Beomgyu could foresee coming from Yeonjun, this is totally one that he could never even imagine. First, Yeonjun not believing him is slightly sad since Beomgyu would never lie about something this serious — even if he lied four years ago about kissing a girl at summer camp, that doesn't mean that he’s always a liar. Second, Yeonjun has watched Little Rascals enough times to notice his clothing scheme, which is worrying since this is the worst movie in history. Third, Yeonjun has just made the beginnings of a fear spread through Beomgyu, the fear of being dressed like an idiot on his first — and maybe only, he hopes it's not that option — date with Soobin.

“Hyung,” Beomgyu says, trying not to make his concern visible. “You think I look like a Little Rascals character?”

“You totally look like Porky if he wore more colorful clothes,” Yeonjun says after thinking, the hand on his chin pushing until a pout formed on his lips.

If Beomgyu was partially worried before, now he’s bordering on despair. He doesn't remember the character very well, but he knows that if Yeonjun is associating them, it's a sign that the character dresses badly or is someone stupid — Yeonjun never chooses nice characters to associate with him, it's his way of showing that he likes Beomgyu, always choosing the worst characters possible. Beomgyu knows that it’s silly to care about something like this, Soobin didn't seem to think his clothes were weird or said anything about it, there’s no reason for such concern.

“Hyung, stop joking with me,” he groans, taking a look at his checkered sweater vest. “I’m having a date with Soobin tonight, I can’t look like a stupid kid from that terrible movie.”

“First, Little Rascals is the best family movie ever,” Yeonjun says, pointing a finger at him. Right next, he gasps audibly, as if only now he had understood Beomgyu's words. The finger is still pointed in his direction, while Yeonjun has his mouth slightly ajar and his eyebrows raised. “You have a date with Soobin?!”

“Yes, and know I’m afraid I look like a fucking idiot,” Beomgyu replies, hands pulling his hair back and gathering it all together the way he does when he goes to tie it in a ponytail.

“Relax, you always look like an idiot,” Yeonjun says in what should be words of support.

“Thanks, hyung. You really are the most supportive person I know.”

“I know,” Yeonjun winks, but he always ends up closing both eyes at the same time. At another time, Beomgyu would find it cute. “But what I mean is, you always look like an idiot and this never made Soobin stop looking at you. He won’t stand you up because you’re wearing a horrific yellow mustard turtleneck.”

The words should make him better, but it's like Yeonjun kissed the injury better and poured alcohol on him soon after. “Is this supposed to make me feel better?”

“Yes,” he shrugs. “Now tell me, who gave you this?” He points a judging finger at the sweater vest.

“My brother’s girlfriend.”

“Dude, I think she hates you,” Yeonjun laughs, covering his mouth.

“You’re actually making me nervous right now,” Beomgyu warns, feeling his hands clammy. “If you think I look stupid, Soobin’s probably gonna think the same thing.”

“Soobin dresses like his mother chose his clothes,” Yeonjun deadpans. “You will look like a fashionista next to him.”

Beomgyu narrows his eyes. “Are you joking again?”

“No, Beoms,” Yeonjun says. “You look cute, not the type of clothes I’ll use, it looks nice on you. You look handsome, not like me, obviously.”

“Can't you give a compliment without talking about yourself right afterwards?”

Yeonjun blows a kiss. “No.”

Beomgyu huffs. “I should’ve known you’d say that.”

“Now tell me what really matters,” Yeonjun changes the subject, arranging himself inside the cabin and looking excitedly at Beomgyu. “Who asked first?”

“What?”

“Don’t play dumb.”

Beomgyu crosses his arms. “Why do you want to know?”

“Because there’s a lot of money involved in a bet that might make me rich enough to buy lots of chicken nuggets or poor to the extent I’ll eat instant noodles for a month,” Yeonjun replies, so sincere that if Beomgyu were anyone else he’d take it seriously.

“You bet on something like this?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Who did you bet on?” He asks, curious. No judgment, Beomgyu deserves to know who Yeonjun bet on when he’s involved in the bet.

Yeonjun hisses. “You really wanna know?”

Beomgyu raises a brow. “If I’m asking.”

“You probably won’t like the answer, but suit yourself,” Yeonjun says, shrugging. “I bet that Soobin would ask you out first.”

He’s left dumbfounded, standing near the booth, staring at Yeonjun's unapologetic face. His best friend, the person he trusts the most, betting against him instead of showing support at a time like this. Beomgyu feels betrayed for the second time in one day, another important man in his life spitting in his face and leaving.

“I thought you were my best friend,” he says, putting a hand to his chest in false disappointment.

“You know I love you, but we both know you’ll never have the balls to ask Soobin out,” Yeonjun says with a knowing eyebrow raise.

“If you told me about it and had bet on me, I’d have asked him.”

Yeonjun snorts. “No, you wouldn’t.”

Beomgyu huffs. “Who the hell wanted to bet this with you?”

“Taehyun,” he says with a shrug.

Damn Taehyun for betting such a thing with Yeonjun. He might consider it the third betrayal of the night if he hadn't bet on him — for now he's off Beomgyu's list, but he still doesn't deserve special treatment for participating in the bet.

“Fucking traitor,” he mutters. “Both of you. I don’t have best friends anymore, I’m surrounded by traitors.”

“You think I’m a traitor too?” Soobin says, a pretty put on his lips from where he’s standing, coming out of nowhere.

Beomgyu looks at him, surprised by his sudden appearance. Soobin is wearing casual clothes, nothing but a white t-shirt and baggy jeans with yellow all-stars — the same color of Beomgyu’s turtleneck, an unexpected match. And he looks mesmerizing, which is stupid since he’s wearing nothing out of usual, but the yellowish lights of the theater make a yellow halo form behind his head, and Beomgyu can’t take his eyes of him. Soobin is holding a bag full of sweet popcorn and a soda, looking at him with a grin from ear to ear. Beomgyu can’t help but smile too, so whipped for this boy that makes Yeonjun chuckles from where he’s seeing everything.

“Depends, have you placed some bet against me?” Beomgyu replies, raising a brow in mockery.

“There’s a bet going on?” Soobin says, sounding fake surprised.

“Soobs, who asked first?” Yeonjun is fast to say, preventing Beomgyu from continuing their conversation.

“I did,” Soobin replies, nonchalantly. “Why?”

Yeonjun bawls, claps and cheers in the expanse of a few seconds over Soobin’s answer. He laughs and celebrates all by himself inside the small booth, cursing some words that aren’t the type of thing you say during work hours and repeating over and over about how Taehyun is a loser and how much money he’ll have in his pocket later when they meet — If Beomgyu hadn't been so busy orbiting around Soobin, he probably would have put the pieces together and understood that the date later that Yeonjun commented earlier would be with Taehyun, a real date, not a friendly date.

“Shall we go?” Soobin asks, completely ignoring Yeonjun's incessant celebration.

Beomgyu takes one last look at the booth where Yeonjun is now singing and dancing, shakes his head and rolls his eyes in fake annoyance. “Let’s go.”

They walk side by side toward the room, a relatively long line of people waiting for the next screening of this movie, the same screening they intend to enter. Beomgyu hesitantly takes the soda from Soobin's hand, their fingers touching for the first time, and he feels like an electric discharge is going through his body — now he understands what all the romance books his brother's girlfriend asks him to read mean by the first touch of hands between the main couple. They look at each other, the soda being held in both hands, fingers brushing against one another, embarrassed giggles until Soobin pulls his hand away.

This is the most incredible dream that Beomgyu's creative imagination has ever projected into his head.

“So, you know about the bet they had going on?” Beomgyu starts, looking at a couple in front of them talking too close to each other — he’d like to be that way with Soobin, talking too close and being a couple.

“Yeah,” Soobin says sheepishly. “I kinda helped Yeonjun with that.”

Beomgyu shrieks. “You did what now?”

“He told me about the bet on Wednesday, told me he’d pay me chicken nuggets if I asked you out first because Taehyun said you were getting your game on,” he explains, calmly, as if talking about something as common as the synopsis of a movie. “So I decided to give him a hand.”

“You gotta be joking.”

“Not when it comes to chicken nuggets,” Soobin says, strangely sincere.

Beomgyu pouts, eyebrows furrowed. “You only asked me out because you’ll get chicken nuggets?”

“Of course not!” Soobin replies with a squeal, drawing attention to the couple talking in front of them, making Soobin embarrassed and look away, staring at his yellow sneakers next to Beomgyu's black ones. “I didn’t ask you only because of that.”

“Really?” Beomgyu says, surprised.

When he said that, he was only joking and hoping that Soobin would continue joking along with him, not that he considered the joke to be anything serious — even though deep down Beomgyu had said that to find out if Soobin had really invited him just to help Yeonjun win the bet. From the way he still isn't looking and his empty hand seems to move restlessly in his pants belt loops, Beomgyu knows that Soobin is being sincere.

“You really think I’d ask you to watch a movie with me just because of a bet?”

“Yes?” Beomgyu replies, uncertain.

“I think you’re watching too many rom-coms,” Soobin snorts, walking just as the line starts to move. Soobin walks a little further ahead, handing the ticket to Yeji and saying something to the girl that Beomgyu cannot hear. Beomgyu hands over his ticket, and Yeji responds with a wink and a whispered good luck that seems to mean more than it should, leaving him puzzled as he walks to where Soobin is waiting for him near the seats.

When they’re both sitting in their seats, with the lights off and the first commercial playing on the screen, reflecting a whitish light in their faces, the bucket of popcorn on Soobin's lap and the only thing keeping their legs from touching being the soda holder, Soobin turns around and whispers just for Beomgyu to hear, “I was just waiting for a reason to finally ask you to see a movie. The bet was just a bridge for me to build up courage anyway.”

“What did you think about the movie?” Soobin asks, an almost empty bucket of popcorn in his hands and walking calmly beside Beomgyu.

If Beomgyu has to be quite honest, he managed to pay attention to quite a few scenes in the movie even with Soobin's words in his head and the fact that he was sitting too close to him — and especially with the fact that every time he looked away from the screen for a second, Soobin's eyes seemed to be focused on his figure until he looked back at the screen. Overall, the movie was more interesting than he thought it’d be and he hopes that Soobin didn't notice the way he was startled every time his fingers brushed inside the popcorn bucket or reached for the soda at the same time.

“I thought Kat was a little annoying and Patrick was a douchebag,” Beomgyu says, trying to focus. “But I changed opinions when he sang and they had that cute date on the paintball. And you?”

“Not a big fan of the dating someone because of a bet or because you’re getting paid trope,” Soobin replies, a crease on his forehead while he thinks a little. “But it wasn’t that bad."

“That's all you had to say?" Beomgyu snorts. "C'mon, give a good review here, Soobs."

The two are walking side by side out of the yellowish lights of the movie theater, toward the exit door that seems like Beomgyu's greatest enemy at this moment. Does walking through it and into the lively and warm June evening mean saying goodbye to Soobin? Does it mean that the only conversation they’ll have will be this vague thing before the two turn in opposite directions and head for their homes? Beomgyu doesn't want to say goodbye yet, doesn't want to go to his home yet, doesn't want this night to come to an end even though nothing much has happened between them so far. If anything, Beomgyu hopes that something will happen.

"It was good," Soobin says after thinking for a while, his steps slower as if he wants to prolong the walk to the exit. He greets his work friends with a slight nod — Beomgyu tries not to notice the way he’s embarrassed when Yeji seems overly excited seeing the two of them together.

Beomgyu giggles, poking Soobin's arm with a slender finger. "You already said that."

"It's not my type of teen romance but it's whatever," he says, fiddling with the popcorn bucket which now only has some popcorn and several corn kernels.

"Really?" Beomgyu exclaims, surprised. "I thought you'd love it. Totally something you'd sworn over later when you're about to sleep."

"I thought too," Soobin says between a chuckle. "Guess movies just aren't for me. Sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" He says with furrowed eyebrows, looking at Soobin.

Something about the way he's slumped and looking only at the red carpet at their feet makes Beomgyu worried. Could it be that Soobin hated the movie and is slowly regretting inviting Beomgyu? Has Soobin realized that going on a movie date with Beomgyu isn’t as cool as he imagined? His head is now a spiral of all the most negative possibilities in the world, he can even feel the remaining kernels in the bucket hitting him in the face when Soobin throws the bucket at his head — even though he knows that Soobin would never do something like this, his fear is speaking louder than reason

"Because I didn't like the movie when you clearly did and I thought this would be a nice experience but I messed up everything not liking it." Soobin shrugs, his shoulders returning to the bent-over position shortly thereafter.

"Hey, it's alright. You didn't mess up anything," Beomgyu reassures him, his hand itching to clutch Soobin's shoulder. "People can have different opinions, right?"

Soobin nods, the motion too stiff. "Yeah."

They finally arrive at the door, hesitating before stepping forward and finally exiting the theater. There is a mutual understanding that neither of them wants to leave, wants to have to say goodbye to this moment, wants to put an end to something that is just beginning — something that neither of them can name yet, but that they can feel is more than just a movie date. It’s in the way their hands sweat and butterflies flutter inside their bellies, how they seem restless and hesitant each in their own way, how they seem to want to say something but don't know how to turn their thoughts into words. They look like two fools standing there, probably everyone who works there is watching and wondering what’s going to happen, possible bets coming to an end and talks that will last all week.

“So, do we say goodbye now?” Beomgyu says, not being able to stand the silence between them anymore.

“Do you mind staying a little bit?” Soobin asks, looking at Beomgyu almost begging him to say he's staying, that he doesn't end the night just yet.

“Not at all,” he replies, suddenly feeling the butterflies flying too fast at the same time inside him.

“We can go somewhere,” Soobin offers. “I want you to stay, but I don’t want to stay here. There’s too many people.”

Beomgyu hums, a smirk on his lips. “Afraid of being seen with me?”

“I’m actually afraid someone will come to us and say something embarrassing about me,” Soobin admits, almost a whisper getting lost in the wind that comes from outside.

“That wouldn’t change how I see you,” he says, taking the two steps necessary to leave the theater. He turns around, looking at Soobin, whose eyes are already focused on him. Beomgyu smiles, hypnotized by the boy in front of him, excited by the thought of borrowing a little more time with him. Beomgyu is so gone, he knows he can’t come back anytime soon. “Shall we?”

Soobin doesn’t reply, he doesn’t really need to say words; his feet speak for him, the way he smiles and starts walking alongside speaks for itself. The streets are full and lit up with every color, from bright and lively to light and calm, a mix that seems to suit them — Beomgyu being the chaos and Soobin being the calmness, a mixture that has everything to go wrong but that seems to work between them. Beomgyu sees couples holding hands, couples talking, couples kissing, couples spending an important date together, and he can't help thinking that maybe he and Soobin could be a couple. Maybe, they look like a couple right now, even if that’s not the thought people would have at first because they’re two boys.

Tonight, Beomgyu would like for him and Soobin to be much more than just two boys out of the movies, a date between friends. He knows that for them it’s not just a date between friends, but he’s not sure if Soobin thinks the same. He may have said that he didn't want this to be a friendly thing, but he’s not sure that they’re in the same boat.

Beomgyu feels the cool breeze hitting his face, lightly ruffling his hair. There’s too much silence between them, and even if it’s something they’re used to, it’s not something Beomgyu wants to hear tonight. Beomgyu doesn't want to spend the time he has with Soobin in silence, at least not tonight.

"You know, there must be at least one scene you liked in the whole movie," Beomgyu starts, wanting to talk about anything. "It's impossible that you didn't like anything."

"Aren't you taking this a little too seriously?" Soobin says, his voice low between all the noises around them — a sound that Beomgyu would pay attention to no matter how many noises are playing at the same time.

"Nope."

"Why?"

"Because it's our first time seeing a movie together," Beomgyu says, moving his fingers in a dramatic way. "I don't want you to think about this in the future, or tell your grandsons that you watched the worst movie of your life with me."

"Aren't you exaggerating?" Soobin chuckles, hugging the empty popcorn bucket in one arm. "It's not like I'll remember this when I'm much older."

"You won't remember our first date?" Beomgyu asks in mock offense, clutching his hand on his chest. "Ouch, Soobs. That actually hurted for real."

“That’s not it,” Soobin says, shaking his shoulder. “What I mean is, if we have lots of other dates, this one will probably get lost in my old man mind.”

Beomgyu doesn't want to fill himself with hope, doesn't want Soobin's words to make him want more dates, to make him fantasize about a future where he’ll have gone out with him so many times, created so many memories that Soobin will have enough to even forget some of them when he’s old. The problem is that Beomgyu is already too much in love not to let this hope fill the small spaces that his insecurity hasn’t yet occupied in his head. Hope is a very dangerous thing for a gay teenager, but it’s one of the things that’s making him the happiest lately.

“So,” Beomgyu coughs, changing topics. “Your favorite scene, please.”

Soobin sighs. “You’re really not gonna let it go?”

“That’s right.”

“You’re more stubborn than I thought you were.”

Beomgyu grins. “It’s a charm I was born with.”

“Okay so, you know that last scene where Patrick gives Kat an electric guitar and they kiss and the scene fades and focus on a band playing on the roof?” Beomgyu hums, listening carefully. “I liked that one.”

“That’s… unpredictable,” he mumbles. “You’re so predictable and unpredictable at the same time.”

“I’m not sure I’m following,” Soobin says, furrowed eyebrows.

“It’s just, I expected you to like the poem scene or the one he sings for her during soccer practice,” Beomgyu says, trying to sound like he’s not talking about his favorite scenes in the movie — call him cliché, but he wasn’t kidding when he said he’s the romantic type of guy.

“All the cliche scenes?” Soobin scoffs. “You think I’m a hopeless romantic?”

“Maybe?”

Soobin raises a brow. “Are you sure we’re not talking about your favorite scenes?”

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with liking some romance, okay?” Beomgyu defends, crossing his arms and pouting.

“I know. And actually, I didn’t pay attention to any of these scenes,” Soobin admits sheepishly, turning his face and looking across the street to the sidewalk where a long line of people are waiting to enter a restaurant.

“You didn’t?” Beomgyu frowns. “You’re telling me you made me watch a movie that you didn’t even pay attention to?”

“Sorry,” Soobin says, sounding genuinely apologetic. He’s not looking at Beomgyu, eyes hovering over all the faces and places around them, running away from Beomgyu's prying eyes. “Was kinda busy looking at you.”

He’s sure that his ears are deceiving him, he’s sure that Soobin said something else and not what he just heard. How could he have missed almost the whole movie because he was busy looking at Beomgyu? It doesn't make sense, his head can't understand why Soobin would rather look at him than at a movie he wanted to watch. Beomgyu imagined that Soobin would look at him a few times during the movie, after all he caught himself staring at the boy at times when the movie wasn't grabbing his attention — always bumping into Soobin already looking at him, silent laughter exchanged and eyes darting away afterwards. Soobin can't be serious, it doesn't make sense, no matter how much Beomgyu thinks about it.

“You were what?” Beomgyu wheezes.

“Looking at your clothes!” Soobin says with a shrill, eyes widening up when he notices what he said. He points a finger at Beomgyu’s checkered sweater vest, trying to sound calm and collected. “I was busy looking at your clothes. They look good on you, very… fitting.”

“Oh,” he blinks, taken aback. Of all the things Soobin could talk about, Beomgyu didn't imagine that his clothes would be one of the topics. Of course he was worried after Yeonjun offended his sweater vest and laughed, but he didn't expect Soobin to compliment it. Beomgyu wiggles his eyebrows, teasing. “You think?”

“Yeah, reminds me of something my favorite character would wear,” he replies, throwing the popcorn bucket in a trash can close to them. “Rachel Green from Friends, you know?”

Beomgyu shakes his head, astonished. “I can’t believe it!”

“What?”

“You’re a Friends type of guy?” Beomgyu clicks his tongue, astonishment turning into bewilderment. “You’re the sitcom type of guy?”

“What’s the problem?” Soobin says, confused.

“You don’t watch movies, but spend your time staring at TV watching reruns of questionable comedies?”

“Hey, don’t judge me,” Soobin pouts. “I like the crowd sound effects okay. They make a difference in the whole experience.”

“You’re making it worse,” Beomgyu laughs, not being able to keep his disappointed face, the pout on Soobin's pink lips having too much power in his reactions — having too much power in the thoughts that are forming in his head. “You like the fake laughs and cheering.”

“They’re my favorites,” Soobin says, strangely excited. “I like the ooh and uh oh too,” he adds, imitating the sounds and making Beomgyu's mouth drop open. He would never have imagined that Soobin would do this someday, this really is a day full of surprises.

“Well, that’s good to know,” Beomgyu chuckles. “At least you compared me to someone nice. Yeonjun-hyung told me I look like Porky from Little Rascals ,” he says, kicking a rock on the sidewalk. “Going from him to Rachel Green is a big upgrade in my opinion.”

“I have no idea who this character is, but I really like your clothes,” Soobin says, repeating himself again, like he had run out of things to say. “They look good on you.”

“Thanks,” Beomgyu points at Soobin’s casual clothes, the white t-shirt looking a little too good on his body. “You don’t look that bad yourself.”

He lowers his head and takes a look at his clothes, nothing but the ordinary combo he always wears in his everyday life. Soobin furrows his eyebrows, looking back at Beomgyu with confusion. “It’s the clothes I wear everyday.”

“That means you always look good, Soobs,” Beomgyu says, a teasing smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Soobin blushes in minutes, the pink running through his cheeks like rivers where Beomgyu feels like he could swim in it. “You need to stop saying these things,” he mumbles, a soft smile on his lips.

“Why?” Beomgyu asks, becoming worried right next. He should’ve imagined that at some point this sort of thing would end up bothering Soobin. After all, what kind of boy would flirt so much with another boy, even as a joke? “Does it make you uncomfortable? I can stop whenever you want. I never asked if you—”

“No, that’s not it,” Soobin interrupts, shaking his head and hands. “There’s no problem. It’s just…” he seems to think about what to say, even though in his eyes the words are already on the tip of his tongue. “Nothing. It’s nothing.”

They keep walking, but Beomgyu has no idea where he’s going, just following Soobin as if he needs no explanation of where they’re going. As long as Soobin stays by his side, Beomgyu would walk aimlessly through the streets all night, talking and laughing and standing silently next to the boy beside him. Beomgyu risks a glance at Soobin, almost choking at the sight of him. Soobin looks cute like this, all shy glances and rose cheeks, awkward silence and hesitant words that want to be free from the chains of his mouth. His burgundy hair sways slightly with the breeze hitting them, making Beomgyu feel dizzy, like he had taken a sip of the wine inside the cabinet without his parents knowing. The lights make him shine with colors, a paint made by talent and passionate hands, something that Beomgyu would see in a museum on a school trip.

Soobin is the only thing that Beomgyu's eyes can see tonight, everything around him becoming insignificant compared to this boy who’s so ordinary and so magnificent at the same time.

They reach a street full of houses, but keep walking between the gray sidewalks and the white houses with the lights turned on inside. Beomgyu wonders if any of them is Soobin's, if in any of these houses two boys are together in the living room watching a movie like they did before — two boys in love with each other, spending an evening together. Beomgyu wonders if they are these two boys in love that he has created in his head, but he doesn't want to know the answer. Yet.

“Hey, I wanted to ask you something,” Beomgyu says, his hands inside his pants pockets are sweaty and restless.

“Go on.”

“Did you paint your hair red because of Valentine’s day?”

“What? No!” Soobin splutters. “I mean, maybe.”

“I like it,” Beomgyu compliments, the sincerity in the simple words so visible that even someone inside one of the houses could see through the window. Beomgyu would like to look for other compliments to give Soobin's new hair color because he deserves to hear all the compliments in the world, but his head can't conjure up anything but absurd fantasies and stuttered words. “It looks cute on you.”

“Cute?” Soobin huffs, He stops in front of a small house with the lights off and turns towards Beomgyu, standing face to face. His eyebrows are slightly furrowed and the smile from before has disappeared, giving way to closed lips that give away his slight annoyance. “You think I look cute?”

“Yes?” Beomgyu says, puzzled. “You don’t like being called that?”

“No, I liked the compliment. I should thank you for thinking this about my hair,” he says, sighing in defeat. “I just thought you’d call me something else.”

“Something else?”

“Maybe handsome, nice-looking. You could even call me pretty,” Soobin mumbles, in the way he usually does when he’s talking about something that he wants Beomgyu to hear and not hear at the same time. “Anything else but cute.”

Beomgyu’s face is a mask of puzzlement. “Soobs, I’m not following.”

Soobin is silent for a while, thinking about the words, measuring them on an invisible scale to see if what he intends to say next is worth the risk. Beomgyu can't see anything that is happening inside the other boy, can't see the fierce fight between Soobin's heart and brain. What he sees are shining eyes trying to say something in a language he doesn't understand, what he sees is the way Soobin is nervous, playing with the hem of his shirt.

"I didn't paint my hair red because of Valentine's day," he begins, eyes flickering back and forth between Beomgyu and the floor. Soobin stops, taking his time with a deep breath and an exhale that sounds defeated. "I painted my hair to impress you."

"Impress m-me?" Beomgyu stutters, nervously gulping.

The gears in Beomgyu's head come to an abrupt stop at that. He widens his eyes, surprised and confused and baffled by too many emotions that come and go at the same time, too fast for even Beomgyu to acknowledge them. He's in the middle of falling in a spiral of reasons why this is all a dream and why Soobin would never do something to impress him and why he should leave this street right this moment and pretend things never happened — pretend that once his brain goes back to normal, he'll be jittery with Soobin's words.

"Yeji-noona showed me a magazine piece that said that if you change your hair color or get a new haircut, and the guy you like pays attention or compliments you, it means you're going to be together in the future," Soobin explains, talking fast as he always does when he is embarrassed or nervous. "It doesn't make any sense when I read it, it's just another stupid thing written by old woman on a Tiger Beat to make teenage girls get them hopes up and embarrassed themselves in front of guys," he trails off, chewing on his bottom lip. "But I thought, hey if Yeji's showing me this out of nowhere, I should probably take a chance, get my hopes up and embarrass myself in front of one guy for the sake of proving that Tiger Beat it's wrong."

"Soobin—"

"But the damn magazine didn't tell me what to do if he calls you cute. Does it mean he doesn't like you? Does it mean he likes you just like a friend? I mean, I know this magazines are made to help only girls and not teenage gay boys," he continues, too lost in his own monologue to pay attention to Beomgyu, who's almost glitching with excess of information. He's like a broken computer trying to solve codes that his software can't understand. "Still, I wanted to take a chance because I've been looking at you for months and I wanted you to look at me too, but not like Yeonjun-hyung or Yeji-noona or all the others look at me." Soobin sighs, running a hand through his hair and pulling the bangs back. "I wanted you to see me as more than the stupid, shy, weirdo who works on the movie theater, doesn't watch movies and never has anything interesting to talk about except boring music that only old people like and bakery. I wanted to look cool, at least once."

Beomgyu can clearly see and hear the fragility of Soobin's last words, can see the despair on his face and the way his eyebrows are furrowed and his dimpled smile is far from showing on his face any time soon. He wants to say so many things, he wants to say that he thinks Soobin is the coolest and most interesting person he has ever met, he wants to say that he likes to listen when he talks about old songs, he wants to say that he loves to hear Soobin commenting on recipes for cookies and cupcakes that he has seen in some newspaper. He wants to say at this very moment how madly in love he is with the boy in front of him, but he doesn't know if this is the right moment yet. Always hesitant, always scared.

"Soobin, I don't think you're a weirdo," he says, trying to sound as reassuring as possible. "You're cool, the coolest guy I've ever seen."

"I'm not, and I used to be fine with not being cool like Yeonjun-hyung or Chandler Bing," Soobin says with a bitter laugh, a sound Beomgyu never heard before. "You're so cool, I thought that ever since I saw you in art class last year. You're totally the type of boy who'd never look at someone like me, and if you were any other person I'd be fine with it, but I'm so into you that I can't pretend like it doesn't bother me. Beomgyu, I..." he cuts himself off, swallowing hard and finally staring directly at Beomgyu's eyes. "Beomgyu, I like you. Too much. More than friends should like each other, more than boys should like other boys."

Beomgyu's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "You like me?"

"Yes, and I'm tired of not doing anything about it," he admits. "I let Yeji-noona spend almost a whole day doing my hair when she never even painted someone's hair. I made Yeonjun-hyung and Taehyun tell me about their bet so I could use it as an excuse to man up and ask you out. I even tried my best to pay attention to the movie so I could talk about it with you for the rest of the night, but I couldn't focus on anything with you by my side." Soobin is breathless, almost panting between his words like he's been running this whole time. "And I'm not sure if you'll think I'm disgusting for saying these things. Hell, I don't even know if you like boys, if you flirt for real with me, if you're feeling the same things. But I just… needed to tell you all these things. It was hurting me to keep everything inside for so long."

There’s a moment of silence so fragile between them that Beomgyu is afraid to move any muscle and accidentally breaks that silence, destroying any chance of being able to say the things that are wanting to escape from inside him at any cost. His head is still half clouded by Soobin's confession, reality spinning and spinning until it becomes a blur and looks like something imaginary. Beomgyu feels dizzy, but a kind of dizziness that makes him want to smile as the darkness swallows him up.

"Soobin, I—"

"Please, don't say anything," Soobin pleads. "You don't have to feel obligated to say something, it's already embarrassing that I can't control my stupid feelings and had fallen for you when you were being just friendly with me. We can still be friends, it probably won't be the same because of me, but I can try." He tries to sound stable, but Beomgyu can see the trembling in his hands that are clutching at the shirt hem. "I don't want to lose you, but I can't keep hurting myself too."

Beomgyu can no longer stand this sad and suffocating air coming from Soobin when he’s about to explode with so much joy.

"Soobin, can you shut up for a minute?" Beomgyu asks, a hint of mockery in his words, a small smile appearing on his lips. Soobin keeps staring at him, suddenly confused by Beomgyu's calmness — he expected to be cursed and laughed at, not to feel such warmth and understanding coming from the other's eyes. "I don't want to be just friends either. I can't be just friends when everytime I look at you the only thing I want is to be closer than necessary. I don't think you're disgusting, Soobin. I'm feeling the same way."

Soobin almost chokes, eyes widening and mouth ajar. "You are?"

Beomgyu wants to scream. How could he fall in love with such an oblivious boy? How could he be such an oblivious boy too to not see Soobin's true feelings? How could they both be so blind to their feelings?

"You really think I'd spend all my money and more to see movies that I have on DVD in my home?" Beomgyu scoffs softly, a small smile slowly showing in Soobin's features. "I only come to the theater because you work there, not even Yeonjun-hyung would be able to make me come there. I had to bribe Taehyun so he'd tell me in which one you worked because both him and hyung didn't want me to bother you all the time," he comments, the smile on Soobin's face now a bloomed flower, waiting for Beomgyu to pluck it and take it with him. "I kept coming every single weekend because I wanted to see you, I can't get enough of you. I thought flirting would make you see that I have a crush on you since the first day I saw you in art class."

"Tell me you're not joking, please. "

There's such despair and hope in Soobin's voice that makes Beomgyu's heartstrings almost snap. How could he joke with something like that? He gets close to Soobin, in steps that seem to take forever until the two are facing each other with only a few centimeters of distance between them. Beomgyu's hand tingles with need to touch Soobin's face, to carefully brush his thumbs on his cheek, to poke the dimples that he's sure will appear once he finally says the words he's dying to say since the night Soobin complimented his hair months ago. A silent request in his eyes, Soobin is the one that takes Beomgyu's hand and gently puts it on his cheek, closing his eyes while letting the warmth of Beomgyu's palm on his cheek soothe him.

"I would never," Beomgyu breathes out, feeling his whole body burning, a fever that comes out of nowhere. "Soobin, I've been so in love with you that anyone can see, except you."

Soobin holds his breath. "Beomgyu—"

"For god's sake, I fucking let Ryujin and Yeonjun-hyung bleach bits of my hair on my kitchen with the danger of being bald just so you would look at me as more than the annoying boy that comes every weekend and never leaves you alone." They both giggle, something that sounds wet and choked from the emotions filling them. "Remember that night you kissed my cheek? I spent almost weeks thinking only about it, dreaming and wishing you'd do it again. I'd do anything to have another kiss, or a hug, I'd settle with even a handshake or a wink. You have no idea how much I love you."

"I had no idea that's how you feel," Soobin says, his eyes never looking away, his hand slightly shaking when he raises it to brush away a strand of hair behind Beomgyu's ear."

"Soobin, I'm so in love with you that I'll do anything that stupid male protagonists usually do for the person they're in love with if you asked me right now."

"Please don't do anything stupid, I have nosy neighbors," Soobin laughs timidly, looking down to try to hide his face, but Beomgyu's hand stops him. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t need to say anything,” Beomgyu says, taking his other hand to Soobin's face and holding it, stroking it lightly.

“I was waiting for a rejection,” Soobin comments. “Maybe some laughs. Even thought you’d punch me or call me a faggot.”

Beomgyu gasps dramatically. “What kind of person you think I am?”

“It’s not about that,” he says in a whisper. “You never know how someone’s gonna act over a confession coming from a boy.”

“I’ll never do that to you,” Beomgyu assures him. “I’ll never let anyone do that to you.”

“Whatcha gonna do? Protect me with the moves you learned watching Karate Kid ?” Soobin says with mockery, smile never leaving his lips for even a second — it makes Beomgyu hypnotized, slowly turning to stone in the same place as if under Medusa's gaze.

“You’re mocking me?” Beomgyu scoffs, clicking his tongue. “Someday, my moves gonna save our asses and you’ll regret making fun of the way I learned them.”

Soobin laughs, his eyes closing and throwing his head backwards, the most beautiful sight Beomgyu has ever seen. He knows that everything that is happening right now is real, but he can't help thinking that it looks like everything that would happen in one of the thousands of dreams he has had with Soobin since he got the kiss on the cheek. He knows it's not a dream because the weight and texture of Soobin's face in his hands is too real, the way he laughs is too real, the way his eyes are bright and eager when he opens them and faces Beomgyu again is too real.

“This looks like a dream I had once,” Beomgyu says, his head floating away from how happy he is.

Soobin raises a brow. “Do you always dream about things like this?”

Soobin's hands go towards Beomgyu's waist, holding hesitantly and with trembling hands, as if he’s not sure that he can do this, that he’s allowed to do something so normal. Beomgyu closes his eyes, feeling trapped where he should be, and not floating around like he was before.“All the time.”

“How these dreams usually end?”

“I wake up sad and lonely,” he pouts, eyes still closed. “Thinking about you kissing me.”

“You won’t have to think about it anymore,” Soobin whispers.

Beomgyu doesn't dare open his eyes, he doesn't risk seeing what’s about to happen for fear that it won't happen in the end. But he can feel everything, from the way Soobin's hands squeeze a little tighter around his waist to the way Soobin’s breath is too close to his face, tickling his nose and filling him with the smell of the strong perfume he uses. Beomgyu feels like he’s about to explode, the butterflies inside his belly all flying at once and crashing against the walls, his hands sweating where they’re standing still holding Soobin's face. He waits for what seems like an eternity until he feels something soft touching his lips.

Something people never tell you or show you in movies is that a first kiss is the weirdest thing in your life. Beomgyu has no idea what to do when Soobin's lips are pressed against his, all the romance movies have not prepared him for the moment in question. He moves his hands from Soobin's face to his shoulders, just leaning there and waiting for all the magic to happen by itself, but Soobin doesn't seem to know what to do either. 

It's a strange feeling, that of kissing someone you like. Beomgyu doesn't feel fireworks bursting in his ears, but he can hear his heart beating so fast it feels like it's going to explode. He feels all the butterflies still restless inside his stomach, he feels as if he has to do something other than stand there with his mouth pressed against Soobin's. He opens his mouth and Soobin imitates him, tongues touching in a strange way and faces turning in positions that don't seem right. Their noses collide at least four times and Beomgyu can taste the sweet popcorn in Soobin's mouth.

It seems too weird to kiss on the mouth, Beomgyu wonders how Yeonjun can enjoy that feeling so much. He feels like it's a good thing, but his insecurity and lack of practice are starting to mess with his mind, making him feel like this is the worst experience of Soobin's life. The kiss comes to an end when Beomgyu, in a very failed attempt, tries to bite Soobin's lower lip like Yeonjun had said he once did with a girl. Soobin makes a noise that startles Beomgyu, who uses his hands on the boy's shoulder to push him away, the two staring at each other with wide eyes and open mouths, slightly ragged breaths and flushed cheeks.

Beomgyu is the first to look away, preferring to stare at their slightly close feet than to have to look at Soobin and admit that this was his first kiss. "This was..." he begins, but has no idea what to say.

“Weird,” Soobin says, chewing his bottom lip, making it redder. “Is this how a first kiss is supposed to be?”

Beomgyu's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, staring at Soobin with widened eyes. “It was your first kiss?”

“Please don’t laugh,” Soobin squeals, shutting his eyes and lowering his head. “I know how loser it looks to have your first kiss at eighteen but—”

“That’s not it!” Beomgyu interrupts, laughing at the incredulity of the situation. “It was my first kiss too.”

“Oh,” Soobin breathes, looking at Beomgyu. They stare at each other for a few seconds, and then laugh at the situation. Just two boys in front of a house with the lights off, having their first kisses with the person they’re in love with, something out of a movie that everyone would watch and like if it were played by a boy and a girl. “This is such rom-com script material.”

They stand still at the same place, looking at each other and giggling, never able to maintain eye contact long enough without getting embarrassed. Beomgyu's hands remain still on Soobin's shoulders, and Soobin's hands remain still on Beomgyu's waist. They’re close enough to try kissing again, and Beomgyu would like to try one more time — he can't tell yet if it's something good or something weird, but he longs to do it again, to feel Soobin's mouth on his once more.

“So, did you like it?” He asks, gathering all the courage within him to utter those five words that seemed to weigh a ton each.

“Yes,” Soobin nods, his voice airy. His smile takes Beomgyu by surprise, it’s not a forced smile out of compassion for the odd situation, it’s the smile of someone who’s genuinely happy. “I’m still not sure what to do and how this works. But I like it.”

And that's all Beomgyu needs to hear for all the insecurity inside his body to disappear, nothing but a memory not desired anymore. If Soobin enjoyed the weirdest first kiss he’ll ever have in his life, then Beomgyu might not have done such a bad job. He knows that this is a matter of practice, it was the first thing Yeonjun said to him in the thousands of nights that they told things too personal to be told to other people. And Beomgyu can't help but get excited about the idea of being able to kiss Soobin again until he can feel like the characters in the movies he has watched.

He wiggles his eyebrows. “We’ll get the gist of it with time.”

“You wanna do it again?” Soobin asks, surprised.

“Only if you want to,” Beomgyu replies without missing a beat. Has he got it all wrong? Does Soobin no longer want to kiss him? “I mean, we don’t have to. I just thought—”

“You really think I won’t kiss you again?” Soobin says, clicking his tongue. Beomgyu doesn’t bother answering, he knows it’s not a real question. Soobin approaches, closing the small space that Beomgyu had put between them. His face slowly comes closer, and Beomgyu closes his eyes on instinct. Soobin kisses his forehead, his cheeks, the tip of his nose and the corner of his lips, and then pulls away. Beomgyu feels the kisses more than he sees them, feeling his whole face burn from the simple display of affection.

“Maybe?” He says sheepishly, shrinking under the other’s eyes.

“Beomgyu, I’ll kiss you tonight, tomorrow morning and every chance I get,” he says, tenderly. “I waited too long, need to make up for the time we lost being oblivious. By the time I have all the kisses I want, you’ll probably get tired of me.”

“I could never get tired of you,” Beomgyu denies, shaking his head. “Give me as many kisses you want. Please.”

Soobin finally responds by kissing Beomgyu's lips directly, this time without hesitation and fear of doing something wrong. Beomgyu no longer feels any insecurity, enjoying it the way he should have done the first time. The second kiss is less worse than the first, it's not perfect and they still don't quite know what to do and how to move, but at least they’re getting somewhere, discovering something together that no one can do for them.

The third kiss is already different, mainly due to the fact that now Beomgyu can understand why people like kissing on the mouth so much, can understand why they can never go too long without kissing the person they like. Beomgyu feels the same way, and he shows it in the way he wraps his arms around Soobin's neck and sighs between their lips. Soobin doesn't have gotten the hang of it yet, but he seems to get excited every time Beomgyu sighs and smiles during the kiss, causing him to squeeze his waist a little tighter and let his tongue explore the other's mouth.

By the fourth kiss — or is it the sixth? Beomgyu has no idea how many times he has kissed Soobin that night alone, but he doesn't want to stop anytime soon — the two decide it's time to call it a night. Soobin feels that he has already taken too many risks kissing Beomgyu in front of his house when his neighbors could see him anytime, and Beomgyu knows that it’s about time for him to go home. But the two can't stay away, can't separate their bodies that already seem to be merged into each other, one thing made of two tall and thin boys.

It takes a while before they finally stop exchanging light kisses on lips and faces, winding down some more until Beomgyu pulls away completely, his arms away from Soobin's neck, Soobin's hands away from his waist — but the feeling is still lingering there, Beomgyu can still feel the tightness. They look at each other, both with dilated pupils and lidded eyes as if they were drunk, paying no attention to anything that is going on around them. In this small world they have created there’s only Beomgyu, Soobin and all the kisses they intend to exchange.

"See you next weekend?" Beomgyu says, forcing his feet to walk away.

Soobin only needs to take five steps to reach Beomgyu and stop in front of him again. “No, I see you tomorrow at school,” he says, giving one last kiss on Beomgyu’s red and puffy lips. “Boys room after art class, I’ll be waiting.”

Beomgyu chuckles, too drunk to react any other way. “I won’t make you wait too long.”

“You better,” he says before walking away completely, walking back to the front door, taking a key from inside his pocket but not opening the door. Just standing in the same place, looking at Beomgyu, who’s still standing on the sidewalk as if waiting for something. They know that there’s no more time for today, that there’s no way to steal a few more minutes for kisses — but still, they keep waiting for a miracle, hoping that one of them will decide to steal more time for both of them.

In the end, neither of them does anything. Beomgyu turns around and decides it's time to go back to his house and scream into his pillow and kick his legs in the air as he catches up on sleep thinking about how perfect everything is, how kissing Soobin is something he can cross off of his dream list. He only manages to take three steps before turning around and looking in the direction of the house. Soobin is on his back, opening the door with a key filled with key chains of all sorts, taking longer than necessary for this task.

“Hey Soobs,” Beomgyu calls, an idea popping in his head.

Soobin turns as soon as he hears the voice, his dimpled-smile making the last appearance of the night. “What?”

“ I love you, baby. And if It’s quite alright, I need you, baby, ” Beomgyu sings in a low, animated voice, trying not to attract attention from Soobin's curious neighbors. He dances too, a not at all equal imitation of Heath Ledger in his new favorite movie scene. He can't help but be ecstatic when he sees Soobin's smile widen, his eyes closing and a sweet, passionate laugh coming from his lips, loud in a way that could draw everyone's attention, but Soobin doesn't mind at the moment.

“Beomgyu, go home!” Soobin says, shaking his head and walking into his house — but first, blowing him a sweet kiss that Beomgyu can almost feel.

And home he goes after that, walking down the street almost skipping and with a smile from ear to ear, unable to hide his happiness. In life, Beomgyu knows that there’s a 50% chance that your love will be reciprocated. When you’re a teenager, this chance drops to 30%. When you’re a gay teenager, this chance is probably lower than 5%. Beomgyu and Soobin are part of this lower than 5%, and are each other’s reason for being in this percentage. Beomgyu is already sure he’s the luckiest guy in the whole world. He’s not just lucky to love and be loved back, he’s lucky to love and be loved by someone like Choi Soobin.