Chapter Text
"Your final grade will be a presentation using the skills you've learned, you must use a topic we've covered this year, all instructions are in this packet. If you want to use another topic email me or come to me after classes."
Aizawa continues to talk, Midoriya has a hard-time following. Sound flows into one ear and out of the other, like steady ocean tides. He swears he feels the chill salty water around him, the heavy waters make it hard to move his arms. He shivers in the invisible cold.
"I expect you won't disappoint me." Aizawa says, unraveling his yellow sleeping bag. "You have the rest of the hour to begin working."
The class whispers to each other, while Midoriya stays silent. The flow of water in his ears only begins to pick up, rushing with his heartbeat. The stapled papers in front of him almost seem to distort, as if he's looking through a glass bottle. Midoriya doesn't think he really has to read them though, he already knows what he's doing his project on.
His hands seem to move on their own, writing in his barely coherent scrawl that he calls his handwriting.
Quirkless History and Discrimination
A simple title for a complicated topic.
Uraraka walks over in the midst of his muttering. Her brown hair swishes as she bounces over, hands fluttering around his desk. Her fingers zip around like hummingbird wings, almost too quickly for his eyes to keep up with, always touching something but never long enough for him to catch why.
"What are you doing your project on, Deku?"
God he hates that name.
"Quirklessness."
"Oh yeah, we did do that unit!" Uraraka smiles, "It wasn't very memorable to me though!"
It wouldn't have been to her, they only went over it for a day. Barely touched the surface of what quirklessness actually is. They got a brief explanation and a promise to never discriminate against the quirkless.
Yeah, like a promise is ever going to do anything.
"Well at least you have a topic, I'm totally lost!"
Midoriya just finds himself smiling at his friend for lack of a reply. He knows Tsu is doing her project based on the gender discrimination in hero work, and Mina is doing hers based on the lack of vulnerability in heroes.
She says it's important to see heroes cry once in a while, just to remind yourself that they're human too.
Midoriya himself can come up with a few more topics to do, but he doesn't give them to Uraraka. She wouldn't've been able to do the ideas justice anyways.
"What about you do something that you've experienced! You said you wanted to be a hero to support your family right? Maybe… something on impoverished neighborhoods?"
"Hmm, I should do the presentation on something I know. Thanks Deku!"
There's that god damn name again. That stupid, irritating name. Why did he allow her to call him that, why can't he escape it?
Deku, Deku, Deku, that's all he'll ever be.
Uraraka skips away, her eyes catching onto Tsuyu's. It looks as if she's having a conversation through body language alone with how fast her arms fly. Tsuyu herself has a lovesick look on her face as Uraraka speaks.
How cute.
The project is due in two weeks, on the first Monday of next month. His project will be done before the first week ends, but he'll check, double check, and triple check every single day.
His next class is spent with his left hand copying notes from the board, and his right hand scribbling away a format for his presentation. He only catches half of his English lesson that day, but by the time foundational heroics starts he has half of his first draft of his first layout done. He plans to have at least three layouts to choose from by the time tomorrow ends.
He's distracted throughout heroics, he's fighting Sero and ends up on the ground more than on his feet.
"You alright, Mido? Normally you'd be kicking my ass."
"Mh, yeah. I'm just distracted, didn't sleep well last night either."
Sero smiles, "I fuckin' get that dude. I got this app that helps me sleep if you wanna download it?"
When Midoriya leaves heroics that day, his phone is heavier with one more proposal he couldn't say no to. At least this one won't get him in trouble, might help him actually.
The dorms, for once, are silent. Everybody is doing their own thing, but most start with the assignment given by Aizawa-sensei. There's a large study group in the living room, and another smaller one in Midoriya’s room.
Midoriya, Todoroki, Denki, and Shinsou are all piled in Midoriya's small room. Shinsou with his head tucked into Denki's neck and taking a nap, Denki with his legs thrown over Todoroki while completing some word puzzle, and Todoroki just sitting with his eyes closed and head against the wall. The silence is comfortable, their presences make the space warm and gentle-like.
Midoriya has his earbuds in while working on the assignment, he's finished his first layout's draft and he's making steady progress with the second one.
He ignores his spiraling brain in order to keep working.
It's important that he keeps working, if he stops now then all he'll do is think. Why him? Did he truly deserve what those kids did to him? Shouldn't he be over this by now? What if he had jumped? Should he have jumped? Why think about this now when it's too late to do anything? Just shut up, work work work work. Don't think. Ignore it.
The sweetness of the room seems to sour with his thoughts, and all of a sudden he feels small. He feels like a little kid again, looking up at his father with innocent doe eyes. He feels like the child that used to hug his mom and cry while she treated his burns. He feels so little, like a tiny chihuahua fighting a Great Dane for the last chew toy.
Maybe he feels less like the chihuahua and more like the toy they're fighting over.
He can feel his mind cloud over as he types. His fingers will begin to slow down soon too, until he can't move his hands at all. Can he move his legs? His knees feel locked in place and his thighs feel tight with stress.
He opens his mouth to speak, to ask one of his almost-boyfriends for help but he can't seem to get any words out. It's like there's a giant brick in his throat that prevents any sound from escaping. If he can turn his neck he knows he can get Todoroki's attention, he seems to always know when Izuku is staring at him.
If he can just turn his head towards Shouto. He has to mentally sike himself up to turn his neck, but as soon as his sight lands on Todoroki, he cracks open his eyes and raises a brow at Izuku.
Midoriya's arms lift to reach for Todoroki, slow and shaky, almost pitifully. A sob tears from mouth, the force makes his throat protest with a slight throbbing sting. He doubles over and Todoroki is by his side in an instant.
"Hey... Come on Izu." He mutters, one hand coming up to rest in green tangled hair. "Did something happen?"
God Midoriya can't move, can't answer, he can barely latch onto his boyfriend as he sobs into his shirt. He feels almost suffocated with how close they are, but he doesn't know if he could take it if Todoroki walked away.
"Shh, I'm here. Can you communicate with me, at all?"
Out of the corner of his eye he can see Denki wake up Shinsou. He's gentle, but panicked, causing a little zap of electricity to shoot up the bed. Shinsou flies into a sitting position, mouth open to grumble at Denki, though it’s quick to close, irritation quickly seeping away at the sight of Izuku.
"Shouto," He says, "Back away. You're too close. Let him hold your hand, but you'll overwhelm him that way."
Midoriya can’t tell if he wants Shouto to touch him or not. He’s too close, the air is suffocating, and yet they aren’t close enough. If Shouto backs up any farther he might disappear through his fingers like sand.
“Talk to him, Shouto. He can’t speak back, but it’ll keep him grounded.”
Midoriya feels Shouto pull his hands off his shirt, lightly tugging his white knuckled grip and holding his fingers gently. He’s muttering something that Midoriya doesn’t catch, but the look in Shouto’s eyes tells him more than words could ever convey. His voice is soothing and his hands are grounding, keeping him afloat in cool rushing streams.
"What happened, Izu?" Todoroki asks. His hands still grip Midoriya's fingers, keeping him grounded and present.
"It's nothing, I p-promise. Just panicked over the presentation, and it got really bad."
Todoroki frowns, fidgeting with Midoriya's knuckles. "What's it about?"
Midoriya freezes, "Quirklessness."
"Quirklessness?"
Midoriya can see Hitoshi stiffen out of the corner of his eye. He's sitting cross legged on Midoriya's bed, keeping a lackadaisical look on Shouto.
"Izu was quirkless up until the entrance exam," He says.
"Yeah, it made middle school really hard for me."
"That's the understatement of the century, but okay."
The boy feels his heart rate pick up, he's almost desperate for a subject change. He's fine now. They don't need to talk about it, everyone can just let it go and never speak about it again. Besides, he can't exactly get back to working with Shouto gripping his hands like that. He'd honestly rather them just leave so he can finish his assignment, they don't need to worry anymore. He is okay.
And… he doesn't want to talk about his middle school anymore than they already have.
"What do you mean 'understatement'?" Denki asks.
"Exactly what I said."
"Can we just drop it, please?"
The room feels thick, tension seems to ooze from their shoulders and down the walls. The strain in the air makes it hard for Deku to talk, like there's a giant brick blocking the folds in his throat. Denki and Todoroki stare at him with unconcealed worry, it almost pains him to see their faces like that.
It feels like he's talking to his mom all over again, except worse, because now there are two of them. Shinsou seems content to offer quiet, nonthreatening support, he's already seen what middle school was like for him. It's unhealthy, but he's desensitized, and Deku finds that he prefers it that way.
The tenseness of the room hasn't dissipated when Deku excuses himself to the bathroom, he hopes all three of them will have already left by the time he comes back.
For Midoriya, the week passes quickly. He has almost no recollection of what he did or who he was with, but he knows that his project is done a week early. He spent his class time half focused on the teacher, and half focused on his presentation. He still spoke to his friends, but never long enough to have an actual conversation.
He can't tell if his mind is loud and shouting at him, or is a low buzzing murmur that seems to distract him. Maybe it's silent, and he's drowning in the quiet of the ocean. The water seems to make his head fuzzy, it steals and gives breath, but never enough air to truly breathe. It pushes and pulls him, and his arms are much too heavy to fight back.
"Midoriya, can you tell me the mistake in this sentence?"
Oh god, what's today? Does he have time to stop at home this weekend? There's a stray around there that stops by at the same time he comes home from school, he hopes his mom's been feeding her. Midoriya wonders if she's even home when he's at school, maybe she comes after he's gone to bed.
"Midoriya?"
Maybe he'll ask for a pass to go off campus, he'll say it's to go to the store, but it's just to check up on the stray. No, he'll get Uraraka some candy while he's out to satiate her sweet tooth, then he'll go see the stray. He named her Missy. He has to make sure mom doesn't see him, he doesn't want to upset her, she hates surprise visits.
"Lil' Listener, you with us?"
Wait, is he talking to him?
Midoriya's eyes flick over to the front of the room, only to find Mic leaning against Denki's desk. His laser pointer that was once shining on the board is now being twirled around his fingers, the light flaring whenever his thumb grazes the on button.
Ah, he is talking to him. Shit, what was the question?
"S-Sorry. What'd you say?"
"Hey, it's all chillin' Lil' Listener!" Mic smiles, it's bright enough to make the sun jealous. The beaming grin makes Midoriya anxious. "You seemed to be a bit lost in thought so it's no biggy. Can you correct this sentence for me?"
Midoriya wants to be pulled back under again. He misses the quiet.
Unfortunately, he is aware and attentive for the rest of the day, much to his displeasure. His partners seem to be happy that he's back to his regular anxious self though. Shouto seems to be even more attached than normal during heroics, Midoriya is surprised that's even possible.
All might also seems to be more clingy than usual. His smile is just as cheerful and thin as always, but his eyes linger on Midoriya's back as he trains. He tries to keep Shouto from very obviously staring back, All might will come to him on his own time, there's no need for Shouto to pressure him.
All might doesn't end up approaching him until the end of class though.
"Good afternoon young Midoriya! Please meet me at the gate before you head back to the dorm with young Todoroki, it's important!"
"Y-Yes sir."
Of course Midoriya says yes, who is he to deny the #1 hero anything, who is he to deny his mentor anything for that matter? All might says that Midoriya needs to be there and open for him. It's such a small request that he can't say no.
Midoriya has to practically shove Todoroki to the dorms so he can go meet All might. Gosh, what's he so clingy for today? Nothing happened, at least not that he can remember. There's been no villain attacks, kidnapping, espionage, or major injuries.
It's just one of those days, he supposes.
All might is waiting for him right inside the school doors, a slight frown on his gaunt face. It makes Midoriya nervous, he can feel the skin on his hands begin to sting as he pulls on his shaky fingers.
"H-Hello sir."
All might doesn't respond, instead he turns around and begins to walk. Midoriya follows.
He's been taken to one of the private meeting rooms in the school. There's a coffee table with two chairs on each side, and a drink machine next to a window on the other side of the room. The sun is shining through the curtains, making the room feel a bit too hot.
It's still nice out though.
All might directs Midoriya to sit down in a chair in the shade, while the man himself stands. The drastic height difference makes Midoriya's knees tremble. Is he about to be scolded? He hopes not.
"I just wanted to talk, young Midoriya." All might stands in the sun, the light brings out the warm undertones in his pale face and arms. "You've seemed out of it as of late. You're still keeping up with your diet plan, yes?"
"Yes sir."
"No major injuries?"
"No sir."
"You're still training outside of class?"
"Yes sir."
Midoriya can't actually remember if he has been or not, but it's unlike him to skip training.
"Good. Then you have no reason to be slacking off like you have been in class recently." He grins. "Glad to see you taking things seriously again."
"M-Me too sir."
All might ruffles his hair and leaves without another word, the sun has dropped ever so slightly and Midoriya's shoulders follow. The tension from being around All might is finally released, he's thankful that the man has left him alone. The thankfulness makes him feel guilty, All might is his mentor after all.
It's just another thing to work through after his English assignment. He's had this feeling around them since they first met, it's never gone away, if anything it's increased. It's probably the anxiety, and abandonment issues.
There's not very many people he feels very comfortable around, but he hoped that All might would be one of those people by now. It doesn't make sense that he's not one of those people, they've known each other for almost a year and a half now.
It's strange now that he's actually putting thought into it.
The next week he stays mostly present, though he loses himself whenever he does late-night editing on his presentation. Normally he's able to sleep off the sinking feeling, but sometimes it follows him into his first and second hour classes. Sometimes it strikes at seemingly random times, but he still spends most of his days aware of what's happening around him.
Presentation day seems to sneak up on Midoriya and grab him from behind. The schedule is different, school will end a bit early, but they'll do heroics training at the same time. He supposes this project is a bigger deal than he thought, but hopefully that won't be an issue.
They present in order of their seating chart, which means he's the 18th to present, and 3rd to last. That's good, that means he'll be able to get notes on most of class before he presents. This also means Aoyama is the first to present, and Mina right after him.
At the very least, Midoriya will try to have faith in his classmates.
Aoyama's first slide is titled, "Heroics and other things that don't require taste in fashion (and how I plan to fix it)"
Midoriya never said he'll succeed at having faith, but he's trying. He pointedly ignores the extra strong slightly spiked coffee his teacher pulled out. Midoriya himself would probably do the same thing if he and his teacher switched places.
Mina's presentation is well thought out, but writing feels childish. Deku's sure she'll get a good grade, at least a B-.
Tsuyu and Uraraka also do well, both have formatting that's simple and easy to read. Uraraka's presentation uses brighter colors though.
Kaminari and Kirishima ended up working together, as Midoriya thought they would. In all honesty their project ends up lackluster, but not because of lack of organization or information. It's because they never planned who spoke when at what time, making the entire situation hard to follow.
Midoriya thinks he got the gist though.
Katsuki does well.
All too soon, and after half a notebook full of notes, it's Midoriya's turn. He connects his laptop to the screen at the front of the classroom. His heart races as he organizes his notes, fumbling to present his first slide.
Quirkless History and Discrimination
Shinsou and Bakugo both stiffen, the blonde taking a sharp breath. Izuku has the power right now. He could get Katsuki expelled from UA with the click of a button. And Katsuki? Katsuki is so aware of that fact it hurts.
The presentation starts off smoothly enough. He's reciting facts and statistics he's had memorized since the tender age of nine. Sure; Deku stutters, drags his words, and pulls on his fingers, but it's not going horribly. Not until Jirou speaks out of turn, it's a quiet mutter, but Deku catches it.
"It sounds like you're speaking out of experience."
"I am," He says.
Deku clicks to the next slide, and Katsuki gets more stiff. It's a wonder that's even possible.
The Quirkless and Modern Experiences
"I was thought to be quirkless up until the day of the entrance exams, but it turns out I was just a false negative." The lie, while necessary, feels like acid on his tongue. "Honestly, it still feels a bit surreal to me- having a quirk is- I mean."
He continues to present, the normally loud and chaotic class stays silent and still. He reads off his notes and gestures to things on his slides, thankful that no quirkist comments have come out of his classmates' mouths.
A warning flashes up on screen, it blinks in bright ruby red. The same screaming color as Izuku's shoes.
"Uhm, I tried to keep most of the like- really horrible, uhm, you know, stuff- out of the presentation. So most of this is really like- well known, so it might be kinda boring to those of you who know about this topic."
He makes direct eye contact with Shinsou. He smiles.
"Content and trigger warnings for talk of suicide and bullying."
Then Deku clicks the button on his laptop, and the screen switches to more graphs, charts, and statistics. He speaks about how less than 20% of quirkless people die of old age, and how 40% die of hate crimes. He talks about suicide rates being at an all time high, and how most quirkless people barely make it passed high school. He talks of bullying and discrimination from his own point of view, and then he talks about it with more data and fact. He barely brushes the surface of what he went through, but he still feels himself get pushed and weighed down.
His teacher seems pretty awake though, staring at Deku with an unreadable look. It's easier to focus on than the sniffling coming from different corners of the classroom. At least he'll be done soon, his head is starting to get fuzzy.
Quirkless Identifiers. How can You Help?
"I'm sure as uh- hero students you've been wondering about this. Well, I'm happy to tell you." Deku smiles. It's somber, a bit guilty, but it seems to lighten up the mood. "Quirkless people aren't allowed in most hospitals, only certain ones will treat us- them I mean- so it's important that we're taken somewhere that will actually care for us. You should look for any of these symbols on, not just hospitals, but most buildings. It's not marked on all businesses, but you should always keep a lookout."
Deku moves his mouse to cover a group of symbols at the bottom of the screen, he's quick to enlarge them for everyone to see.
The first one is a large red Q with a green X in the center, representing quirkless unwelcome. The second one is a green Q with a green check mark in the center, representing quirkless friendly. The third one is a green Q with a red dash through the center, representing quirkless neutral.
"You'll almost never see a business with these signs up, but you might catch it carved into the side of the building, or maybe etched into the cement!"
Tsuyu raises her hand. "Kero, is this why you're always so uncomfortable when we go to the dollar store next to UA?"
"Unfortunately." He'd rather not go into the whole story behind that, he's the one who drew the unwelcome symbol on the side of the building after all.
Deku scans the room for more people with questions, but he carries on quickly after the silence feels too deafening.
The next slide has three pairs of shoes; one in bright ruby red, another in eye searing neon green, and a third in coal black with mustard yellow laces. It also has a list of terms that read, Lace, track, cuff, perf, and thread.
"The shoes and vocabulary are simple quirkless identifiers." Deku's once placating look turns serious, cold, in a flash. "If I hear that any of you use this information to miss treat quirkless people, I'll kill you."
The class notices how Shinsou and Midoriya both eye Bakugo. Deku just keeps moving with the presentation, like he didn't just threaten the entirety of 1-A. He moves on like he didn't do the most out of character thing he possibly could've done in that moment. He moves on, like poor, quiet, little Deku didn't just threaten to kill someone.
"These shoes are the only shoes that quirkless people can wear comfortably." The class seems to look down at his feet in sync, seeing the bright red chunky shoes with miss matching laces on his feet. It makes Deku's stomach roll. "The black ones cost over a thousand dollars, and are the only ones with shoe lace holes that won't work with any other laces. The rest of them have regular laces that work with any shoes.
"Can anyone guess why?"
Shouji raises his hand, his deep voice rumbling throughout the room. "So everyone can identify a quirkless person if they know what to look out for. It's a form of discrimination."
"Good." Deku's grin could light up a four mile wide field. He forgets how nice it feels when people actually pay attention to him. It also helps that most students have stopped crying since they're passed the nitty gritty of it all.
Katsuki still has that same disgruntled look on his face. Izuku wonders if he's actually learning anything.
He's quick to cover quirkless vocabulary, something very important to his culture. "Lace," He says, "Are quirkless people. Tracks are people with weak quirks, or quirks like Aizawa-sensei's. Quirks that have the potential to be villainous.
"Cuffs are people with actual 'villain's quirks', like Shinsou. Perfs are the majority of you, people with heroic quirks. Finally, there's threads, those mutant quirks like Shouji or Kouda."
Deku releases a breath, it's a bit premature, but he's finally done. He can feel the fuzzy feeling in his brain gain weight, pulling his eyelids down.
"Of course people can fall into more than one category, like Jirou, who could be considered a Perf or a thread, but that's the gist of it. Any questions?"
Deku hopes not, he feels heavy, and he's having a hard time processing his surroundings. He really just wants to go back to the dorms, he can feel himself slowly slipping away as time passes.
Shouto and Shinsou are staring at each other, it's cute.
Kirishima raises his hand. "How come we didn't learn this stuff in class? I mean, we had an entire unit on mental quirks and mutant quirks."
"Well to be completely honest, I'm barely scratching the surface here." Deku absentmindedly plays with the blue star pin on his sleeve. "But to answer your question, quirkless are just not a high priority. I'm sure most of the teachers here don't even know half of what I've talked about today."
"So unmanly."
Can he be done now? Deku's not sure how much longer he can keep this up.
"Anything else?"
Shouto puts his hand up. "Do you need to go back to the dorms?"
"Yeah, I think so."
Aizawa is quick to write them passes. That same strange look on his face while he does so.
"Todoroki, have Midoriya come see me whenever he's feeling better."
"Yes sensei."