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The others stood for a while, not really knowing if they should leave Ward alone. But he had the bracelet on and everyone was still armed to their teeth..he was as contained as he ever would be and so one by one, people started trailing off, weary but tolerating. Coulson was the last to leave and he shot Skye a questioning look, asking her with it, if she was really sure that she wanted to be alone with him. She nodded, almost imperceptibly. If he so much as laid a hand on her, she was going to scratch his face off. So Coulson left and Ward acted like he didn't care and went on with his work.
“Why are you here? Why are you helping us?”, Skye said, after a moment of composing herself, trying to sound angry and confrontational but, as with everything she said these days, it came out weak and broken.
“Because Coulson asked,” Ward replied matter of factly, not looking up from cleaning his new temporary ICER gun.
“So you’re back on our side this week,” Skye noted and crossed her arms, taking a few steps back from him to lean on the side of the table.
“I’m on the same side I’ve always been. Even if I’m not welcome there..quod erat demonstrandum,” he said and waved his hand over the side of his body where she shot him just a few months ago. She felt guilty beside herself. He had no right playing the victim. He was the traitor. He had kidnapped her. He’d had it coming.
“I did not ask you to do that,” Skye said with venom, “you don’t have to be my knight in shining armor, that’s so not you, Ward.”
“I still came. And I always will,” he said but there was nothing soft in his features, only stern determination, “and you and I both know that you would be dead ten times over if it wasn’t for me. So you can be sour you didn’t kill me all you like but stop kidding yourself that you’d still be here if you had.”
Skye swallowed, angry at his patronizing tone, irritated that he just laid out the law like that, insinuating that as long as he lived, he would always be three steps behind her. That she could never escape him and worst of all, that he made her out to be this murderous creature that wanted to eliminate people and would relish in the thought of having killed someone. How dare he? Her breathing hitched and the cabin started to shake ever so slightly around them.
“I didn’t want to kill you,” she said through gritted teeth, “You were two feet away from me and I’m a pretty good shot these days. If I’d wanted you dead, I’d have put the bullets in your head not your side. I knew you’d weasel your way out of there, you always do.”
“Oh, sweet Skye,” he said, with a glint in his eye, “I saw the look on your face and I can still hear you in the back of my head calling me your enemy..so..satisfied with yourself. You wanted to kill me. At least own up to it.”
“I did not want to kill you,” she repeated tightly and the cabin shook longer and harder this time, until she got herself back together, “And I saved you too once, remember? When Mike had your heart on standby. I would never...”
The rest of the sentence dangled somewhere in the air, a Schroedinger’s cat of sorts because it could be anything ranging from “...kill someone in cold blood like you” to “...want you to not exist”. Skye didn’t know herself what it was.
But the idea that it was the latter made her skin tingle and her insides curl up, the dark thought that despite all he had done, that despite of what he was, she could still feel something, anything, resembling affection for him. Or worse, that she could still be harboring..some twisted form of love? What exactly would that say about her? It was just that flash of a memory that kept bothering her since Afterlife. The moment when she saw Ward there, the last person she expected or wanted to see but despite herself, in that first second of seeing his face, she'd wanted to smile.
It couldn't be that though. Not love, just residue..sympathy. She had spent a year trusting him with her life after all. It was absolutely normal, she did not love him and she needed to prove it to herself so she glanced up to look at him, to see him and go back to loathing the sight. And when they locked eyes she found him staring at her, something flickering across his face that she couldn't place. But she wanted to, she wanted him to be bad, to be horrible, a monster. She wanted his mouth to be thin and sneering, wanted his eyes to be cold and disapproving. But it was just Ward.
“I don't get it,” she said, holding his stare, willing him to stop the charade, “If you hate me so much, if you think so lowly of me, why did you come here? Why risk it?”
“Skye,” he said and let it hang there, “don't.”
“I see, I guess we're done with you always telling me the truth,” she didn't know why she said that, why she kept pushing. What was she trying to get him to say? She should just stop but instead she did what she knew would rattle him; she turned to leave.
“Skye,” he said again and within her it registered with equal parts triumph, that she could still push his buttons, and fear that she might get a real answer.
“You know why,” he said and she looked at him again, unblinking, “you wanna hear it?”
Did she? Did she need to? Could she still run? She probably should. He sensed her unease, aided by the fact that the water in the bottle in front of him started to quiver. Skye pressed her nails into her palms and breathed, willing it to stop. The flicker was back in his eyes, a glimmer of predatory instinct and something that almost seemed like boyish hope.
“I told myself I was through with you, that I didn't need you,” he said, “that I could move on and then Coulson found me and told me that you were in danger. And I couldn't have stayed if I tried because-”
“Ward,” she warned, taking a step back. She didn't want to hear it, she had made up her mind.
“No, you wanted the truth and you know that I keep my promises to you,” Ward said, relentlessly and stood up to be level with her, “the truth is what it's always been. It's different with you and if you nearly killing me hasn't managed to snap me out of it I think the only thing that will make it stop is if someone finishes the job.”
The ground was shaking slightly and Skye didn't need to look at her base line to know it was bordering a hundred. Ward knew it and held her gaze so intently that she felt glued to the floor, like a deer in the headlights unable to move.
“I will go to the ends of the earth for you,” he said, every word like a stab, uttered in pangs and through tight lips, every syllable a punch in the gut, perhaps the first time in history that a declaration of love was meant to hurt the receiver “my life means nothing to me and if you were gone less than that. If you'd died out there, I would've lost the last bit of humanity I have left.”
Through the static energy between them, through their steady gazes and breaths held, through the shivering of the wood and glass all around there was a tiny, pained sound, a cough, as if someone was being strangled. Skye could finally look away and saw pitch black hair flying and someone running.
“Kara,” Ward said, sounding raw and sincere, and then, in a heartbeat, he was gone to, hurrying after Agent 33 and Skye was left alone. The shaking stopped..just the water in Ward's bottle wouldn't rest, not for minutes.
**
Grant Ward ran but he didn't need to run far, Kara had only made it out to the rim of the forest and had stopped at a tree, steadying herself against it, as if she was afraid of toppling over. He said her name when he was in earshot but she just shook her head.
“I should have known,” she said meekly when he reached her, not looking at him, her brow furrowed and scar tissue straining over the expression, “I should have known when we got on that plane.”
He didn't know what to say. Lying was pointless. She knew him and he guessed whatever had transpired between him and Skye would've been too obvious to deny anyway.
“I didn't know,” he tried, sincerely because it was true, “when I told you I was done with her I really thought I was. I'm sorry.”
“She doesn't..”, Kara shook her head again and let the rest trail of. He had a pretty good idea what she wanted to say as it was. That Skye didn't deserve it, that she was a brat and ungrateful. But Kara did not know...had not felt what Skye felt when he betrayed her. What Grant presumed she had felt. And why she felt entitled to be this person. In the back of his head a faint voice said that he had no right to judge her but she had no quarries judging him, eventhough she had been the one to put a few holes in him. That's something he would never do, not ever, the thought of pulling the trigger with her at the end of the barrel was impossible.
Kara stared into the woods, breathing in and out in search of control. He knew the feeling. How had he come to care so deeply about her? How was this happening again? Seeing her like this was the same as seeing Fitz. When he'd come to torture him in his cell and even now. There was yet another person he had broken. It was infinitely better not to feel anything.
When he had shot his mother, his father and his brother, he had felt vindicated, satisfied by the revenge, their tears had felt like surges of energy, not bullets like Kara's did. How could he be these two people at the same time and not combust? He surely felt like imploding could help, could take it all away. He felt the closeness of weapons, of knives in the cabin used to spread butter on toasts that could be used to slicing his wrists and ending it all. Since he took the lives of his family, he had not felt the need to die – when he was running on hate and vengeance, he was sure, on steady feet, navigating the only world he ever knew. When feelings crept in, when he inched closer to care and morality, he wanted punishment. He wanted to do to himself what he did to those who had wronged him.
“Sometimes I think it would've been better if you'd let me die,” he said, barely audible over the whispering forest. Kara's head spun around, eyes wide and looking at him for the first time.
“Don't ever say that,” she said, stern and determined, “you saved me just as much as I you.”
“I used you, Kara,” Grant said, “and beneath those layers of brainwash, you know it too. “
“Don't do that,” she said, “don't make yourself out to be worse than you are, that's what she does.”
“I'm not a good man, and if Bakshi and Whitehall hadn't gotten to you, you wouldn't doubt it.”
“Yeah, but they did,” she dead-panned and held his stare, “and you could've used me way beyond the way you did, I would've done everything for you and I would've let you take everything from me but instead you built me up. You don't have to be what they see in you and you aren't.”
Grant did not know how to respond to this and remembered something Simmons said to him, that he still had the choice to turn it around, to turn himself around and be a good person. But he had still dumped them into the ocean. But he had dropped them into the ocean...when he could've shot them in the head. On that panel where he tapped in the command to release the pod, he could have overwritten the lockdown and put two bullets in them. He hadn't. Because he couldn't, because he knew they would figure a way out. I knew you’d weasel your way out of there, you always do, Skye said in the back of his head. You can be monsters together, echoed Raina right after.
“I'm sorry Kara,” he said and meant about everything. She looked at him like she needed him to clarify still, “I wasn't honest with myself and I wasn't honest with you and I promised you
something that I can't give you. I betrayed your trust. It's what I do, what I've always done.”
“If you were half as bad as you think, you wouldn't have said that right now,” she was calmer now, balanced.
A part of him wanted nothing more than being who Kara saw in him, it was the part that wanted to be who he'd pretended to be with Skye. The man she had let in her heart. But then there was this little spark in him, the little tingle that went through him since Skye had made the cabin shudder with her emotional responses to him. The tingle that murmured that just maybe Skye hadn't so completely cast him out of her heart.
“I think I want to go back to who I was,” said Kara, “reverse what they did to me. If only to prove to you that it won't change how I see you.”
“I would like that,” he said and put his arm around her shoulder to press a kiss onto her head, “I'm sorry I can't be who I said I'd be.”
She nodded, faintly, “You could be my friend.” To that he nodded.
It would be the first time in his life he would be a friend to someone without pretending to be someone else.
**
Skye held on to Ward's bottle and stared out the window at them. When she saw him kissing her head, she couldn't stop the water from quivering for longer than she was proud of. Suddenly Fitz was beside her and she hastily uncapped the bottle and emptied it into the sink. She hoped he hadn't noticed.
“D'you believe him?” Fitz asked wearily.
“I don't know,” she said truthfully, “he doesn't need to be here yet he is..but I never know what his angle is. I can't...I don't know this person. He's different every time I see him.”
“I wonder if he knows himself,” Fitz said, following her gaze to Ward and Agent 33 who stood by the trees in what seemed like amicable silence.
“I wonder if this is an all new mission to him,” Skye said but her mind was elsewhere. She was replaying Kara's choked up sob in her head, it had sounded like her when she learned that Ward was Hydra. Like someone she loved had hurt her. Did Agent 33 love Ward? Had he manipulated her into loving him? Or maybe worse..had she done it all by herself? And if someone was capable of loving him, did that mean that she could too? No, she would never. Never.
And she did not have the energy to worry about it, it was the worst possible time. She was always on the verge of destroying everything in her path and Lincoln...Lincoln was good and pure and vouched for and everything Ward wasn't and even so. She did not need romance right now. She needed peace of mind. The appliances started to resonate with her thoughts.
Fitz said her name and she breathed in and out to make it stop. “I imagine this is hard for you.”
“It's all a little overwhelming,” she said, “I have parents now. And a serial killer ex-almost who postponed his personal vendettas to 'rescue' me from them and agrees to wear a kill-switch bracelet just to stay. And I can't stop the earth from shaking. S.H.I.E.L.D. is fractured and Hydra on the move, Jemma isn't here, May isn't here, everything is upside down. I feel so out of control.”
And just then Ward, by the forest, turned his head and looked right at her. She let out an involuntary gasp when her heart missed a beat. No. No! She turned away from the window and trained her eye firmly on Fitz.
“Can't we just send him away?” he said, more to her benefit than his. He was still hoping for Ward to redeem himself.
“We need him. He's the only one who knows how Hydra really operates. And I believe him that he isn't loyal to Hydra but that hasn't stopped him from crossing over before.”
“Well, with the kill-switch and all..”
“I know.”
“Did he say why when you talked to him?” Fitz asked, branching dangerous territory.
“The same old same old,” Skye said,not sounding quite as cold as she wanted, “that he loves me and wants to protect me.”
“Well, I'd say you don't need his protection anymore,” Fitz remarked, “I'd say he might need protection from you...he really has two kill-switches on him.” Skye had to chuckle about that.
But the darkness inside her gnawed at the back of her brain, showing her Ward dying in the wind and rubble she could create and the darkness screeched and pulled at her heart. She wasn't sure she could do it. She wasn't sure if it came to it, if there was no other way, if she could kill Grant Ward.
**
“No,” she whispered, and then, louder, “No! I won't do it.”
“Skye, I know it's hard but it's the only way to get you inside,” May said softly.
“You can't be serious, you can't be trusting him with that,” she remained, “you can't trust him!”
“Would you stop acting like I am not in the room,” Ward said, a hint of annoyance in his voice, “I'm right here.”
“You can't be trusted,” she said adamantly, gaze fixed on his, “what tells me you won't turn around and hand me into some trap and collect your reward.”
“I'm not some low-life-mercenary, Skye,” Ward said.
“Hey!” exclaimed Hunter and got to his feet but Ward ignored him.
“You have the trigger for my kill-switch on you, you can end this whenever you want,” Ward said and Skye was suddenly very conscious of the corresponding bracelet to his own, snug around her wrist, “besides, you could bring the whole place down on us all.”
“He's right about that,” said Hunter, “if he tries something, you just blow him to hell with the others.”
“Still here,” said Ward.
“Truth is, you are the safest bet when it comes to using Ward and containing him if necessary,”said Coulson. Skye could see that.
“But why do we need that cover?” She asked and was met with awkward faces..well, safe for one. Ward looked smug and cocky as ever, “Why would they care?”
“It's more believable,” said Agent May, “they know of you and your former entanglement, they will buy you crossing over likelier if they think he seduced you.”
“It's disgusting,” sneered Skye, barely controlling the energy surging around her although the dark, hidden part of her brain flickered with bits of memories of his means of seduction that mae her mouth go dry.
“It's the best option,” said Coulson, “I'm sorry.”
“And I am still present,” repeated Ward.
“Shut up,” spat Skye and glared at him, even more infuriated when she saw the glint in his eye, playful and arrogant, “This is a mission, Ward, and I swear to you if you try anything funny, I'll switch you off faster than you can blink!”
With that they prepped for the mission to infiltrate Hydra. Their story was that Skye had been dropped and antagonized by the new S.H.I.E.L.D (like it pretty much happened before she was forced to flee to Afterlife) and that Ward had found her and seduced her, convincing her to get back at them by joining Hydra and destroying the whole organization. She admitted it seemed rather solid and Grant would feed them additional intel on S.H.I.E.L.D, perfect with the location of their secret meeting to reunite the two factions, the perfect time and place to eradicate all that was left of them. This was, of course, a trap but if Ward and Skye could manage to be convincing, they would maybe go for it. If not, and the two of them were made, they'd at least be inside and could call for backup, taking as many Hydra operatives down as they could before getting extracted.
When the day came, as the Hydra chopper landed and the turning of the blades drowned out all possible bugs at the location Hydra had picked, Ward got close and said: “Remember, you love and trust me bindly, I can make you do and say everything, and you gotta kiss me like you mean it.”
“I'm going to bury you under a mountain,” she said and he laughed, taking her hand. She squeezed it hard, pushing her nails into his flesh and then the chopper had landed.
They got taken up to the heart of Hydras command, not knowing where they were as they'd been brought in blind. The geo tracking nano bots, hopefully as undetectable as Fitz promised, would send their location to S.H.I.E.L.D. The rest was up to them. There was an old man and a young man present, both striding and eyeing them and they asked Ward all the questions. Skye did her best to look at him adoringly and when it was her turn to speak, she delivered on point. Partly because half of what she said, she'd actually felt – being singled out for her talents, put down, contained and put on the index, saying that Coulson dropped her for a position in the new S.H.I.E.L.D. and so on and so on.
They were escorted to a room with guards posted out front and once the were inside, alone, Ward nodded ever so slightly to the right corner where the camera would be. That the room was bugged all over was a given to. Ward hugged her tight and whispered so quietly that she barely heard him: “Like you mean it.” She pinched him in the side and he laughed again.
“You're enjoying this, aren't you?”, she took two steps back, smiled with her mouth and wished him the plague with her eyes.
“Of course I am,” he said, a little louder than would've been necessary, “I get to screw you and S.H.I.E.L.D.”
“I hate them,” Skye said quietly and clenched her jaw tight, playing frustration did not come hard to her this very moment.
“But you love me,” Ward said and was with her again in one stride, wrapping her in his arms and bringing his lips down on hers faster than she could take a breath to brace herself. He'd been waiting for this, he'd been waiting since they'd come up with the whole reckless plan.
She kept the kiss tight-lipped at first, ignoring the surge of electricity that came with the touch, the jolt that went from her mouth to her very core. She held everything in and back but he was hungry, she could feel his determination as clearly as she felt the floor under her feet – even more, considering that the floor somehow felt more distant with every second. He had started tucking at her hair, cupping her jaw, breathing heavy and pressing down on her cheek to make her mouth fall open for him. Skye pressed back, taking his head in her hand and pulling at him, hard, trying to hurt him as much as possible in the process but he just chuckled lowly and held his own.
“Babe, this is not a competition,” he teased, visibly out of breath and the most elated she had seen him since the last time they had kissed, “we're both winners here.”
Skye clenched her teeth and her fists in his hair and pushed him hard into the nearby wall, his head banged against it with a thud that told her it must've hurt but Ward only retaliated by kissing her again and grabbing her by the ass to lift her up. She hooked her legs around his torso and pushed her thighs together as tight as she could while breaking the kiss and biting his neck hard enough to draw blood.
“I love it when you're wild with me,” he winced but not wholly in pain, the sick bastard was probably actually turned on by this. His erection pressing against her thigh gave her a pretty good idea. She pushed her hips up to meet him, her body acting on its own accord and she hated herself for it. He was too close, he was everywhere, it took the breath from her lungs and the sense from her brain. She fought it. But she could feel it all slip, like when her bra straps fell off her shoulders underneath shirts.
“And I love you,” she said breathless, and she willed the love to sound like a hate. She felt dizzy.
“I love you,” he whispered, close to her ear now, “and I want you so much I can hardly keep it together, Skye.”
No bug could've picked that up. That was for her alone. It was enough to give her pause. She looked at him as he sat down on the queen-sized bed with her, so she straddled him. He held her gaze, the glint in his eye had disappeared, the playfulness and antagonism just a ghost on his features, replaced by something softer, sweet and almost scared, very much found out. He had said too much.
His hand came up to her face, and he pushed her hair back softly, like they do in the movies.
Skye couldn't catch her breath. The bed started shaking. She could handle him teasing, milking the situation like the selfish psycho she wanted him to be. She couldn't handle this, could not deal with his eyes that screamed of vulnerability and honesty, she couldn't control the darkness that pulled at her when he looked at her like that. The rest of the furniture started to shudder.
“Shh,” Ward said and cupped her cheek, “it's okay.”
Skye counted to ten in her head and the room stilled but her heart was still racing.
“Don't,” she mouthed.
“I love you,” he said, “more than anything.”
She wanted to shake her head but he caught it before, locking her in another kiss and driving his hips up to meet hers. There was another jolt, cursing through Skye, more intense even than before and the way she clawed at him, trying to find some anchor, started to feel less and less insincere. With little effort, he turned them around, so he was lying half on top of her and kept kissing her, wandering from her mouth to her neck until she was delirious. It's just chemistry, she tried to tell herself. It means nothing.
He nudged her knees apart with his and she let him in, let him settle in between her legs. At this point she wanted to believe it was because of the camera but if she would be entirely honest with herself, it was because she wanted him there, to feel him pressing up against her, rock-hard and desperate. He cursed when she rose to meet him and kissed her neck, slowly but sloppy and finally found her lips again, keeping the pace. It wasn't a power play anymore, his lips were soft and hot and he seemed to relish in it, and seemed to listen for her helpless panting. Who was she if she wanted this?
His one hand trailed down her body, rested over her top and bra and her breath hitched which made him smile against her lips and he took it as an incentive to go lower and lower yet. Skye, despite herself, rose again, pushing her pelvis up to his hand but when he was nearly there, when his finger slipped under the button of her pants, she breathed “No” and he stopped the motion instantly.
It was torture. “They'll see,” she whimpered under her breath and then, faster than before, Ward had changed their position. He had her sitting on him again, both of them upright facing each other and his broad back was turned to the right corner of the room, blocking the view of Skye. He kissed her again, harder, even hungrier if it was at all possible and flicked open button upon button, finally snaking his fingers under the hem of her panties. Who was she if she wanted this?
She buckled up her hips and he found her, she gasped into his mouth and felt him grin against her and then he moved his fingers. She didn't know how he did it or where he'd learnt this but she was incoherent within moments, her body moving against his hand frantically and she moaned. He let out a deep growl in reply and she felt his cock twitch against her inner thigh. She wanted so much more than this. The bed had started to shake again but she couldn't care less.
“Skye,” he said, his voice low with lust and a pinch of wonder, “open your eyes.”
She caught his eye, wide and clouded and warm, and he tilted his head to make her look around while he kept doing what he was doing, circling her with expert fingers. Skye was surprised but it was hard to get through between all the other sensations overpowering her senses. All around the room, every inanimate object lighter than a chair or a bed had started soaring. At the level of their heads, the air was cluttered with cushions, vases, books and whatnot was lying around in the guest room.
Ward buried his head in her neck and quickened his movements. It was too much for Skye to keep her head upright, it fell on his shoulder, lolling about and she heard him whisper: “How long are you going to try and tell yourself that you don't feel anything for me?”
She snapped her head back to protest but he hit something so sweet and just so right that all she could do was grab two fists of his hair and shatter against him, squealing beside herself with a sort of sigh that sounded more animal than human and came undone hard around his hand. Everything that had floated before crashed down with lots of noise she didn't care about. Her skin was still pulsing when he kissed her again, soft, like a feather. She had no air left in her lungs.
He let her come down, his free hand rubbing circles on her back, they were both still wearing all their clothes, his jeans were still constricting his erection but he did not move forward. When she opened her eyes again she found him staring.
“This means nothing,” she breathed weakly, sounding more terrified than certain and he smiled and shook his head.
“Oh, this means everything, Skye,” he said, barely audible, “I'll have this for the rest of what's left of my sorry life.”
With that, he turned them around again and laid back, pulling her softly onto his chest to rest. Skye didn't know what to say so she said nothing and listened to his heartbeat. It was way faster than his even breathing would have her believe. His jeans was bulging but he didn't seem intent on doing anything about it. He just lay there and breathed.
“Don't you want to..”, she muttered, beside herself, just to say something. He shook his head ever so slightly, nudging hers in the process.
“Not like this,” he said softly, “I want the real thing.”
Skye fell asleep waiting for the bulge to go away.
**
There was no time for Skye to feel conflicted or confused about what they had done because they were roused in the middle of the night by a Hydra operative who told them they had moved up the timeline and that they were leaving right now and the two of them would get their revenge sooner than they thought. It seemed their theatrics had convinced whoever perv had spied on them before.
Skye pressed the panic button on her bracelet, careful not to accidentally electrocute Ward in the process, to alert S.H.I.E.L.D. They'd had prepared for this scenario as well. The Snake Attack protocol would be set into motion immediately. Skye shot a quick prayer to whoever God might exist that her friends would be safe and took Ward's hand as they were led down a long corridor. He turned his head to look at her and she did the same. Something in his face was different, familiar but different than before. It seemed like something that had been way off clicked back into the right position again. Like the old Ward. The dark and secret part of her brain pulled at her heart and exalted in this but her cautious one went on red alert. She couldn't trust him.
Who was she if she wanted this?
**
Grant was on high alert. The most important thing was to keep Skye safe at all costs. And , the sly, manipulative voice in his head that he couldn't quite silence yet, added: To let her see it . He couldn't help it, as far as good intentions went, his concerning Skye were the purest and best he'd ever had for anyone, apart maybe somehow looking out for his little brother.
He flinched at the thought, because he had failed him so thoroughly – and had already failed Skye once so severely, that he still, despite the past night, wasn't sure if she would ever forgive him. But last night , he thought, last night he saw something flicker in her eyes that looked like all hope wasn't lost. And the other things he'd seen. The memories that flashed before his inner eye almost chipped away at his concentration.
He was skilled enough to keep his focus though, he had scanned the plane, counted every operative, every gun he could see and estimated how many were concealed, he had his eyes on those immediately around them, ready to react if someone did so much as flick a finger in Skye's direction. He smiled to himself, thinking of fingers and Skye and how she fell apart under his touch. How her eyes closed and her fingers dug into his shoulders as if she was holding on to him for dear life. Pleasuring women had been one of his many lessons in his warped training to become Mr. Superspy, as Skye had once called him. But last night was the first time it ever truly paid off.
How she had withered, how she had made the room fly around them, how he made her make everything soar. Now she sat beside him, quiet, in her own head. He had no way of knowing what she thought but he hoped..he hoped. One part of him, the honest part, the one he wanted to make the only part, hoped that she would find it in her to give him a second chance. Another, darker part, hoped that she would come back to him for the pleasure he'd given her. He did not want to think like that, did not want to manipulate her, but the notion clearly wasn't beneath him.
He reached for her hand and she flinched, just a little and didn't pull her hand away. He did not know if she did so to keep up the cover or because she didn't mind. Truthfully, right this second, he didn't want to know.
“We'll get the bastards, all of them,” he said.
“I can't wait to put some bullets between their eyes,” she replied, louder than necessary but no heads turned.
“Or shake things up,” Ward said, tracing the lines in her palm, “make some things float.”
“Ward,” she muttered.
“I love you,” he said, for no good reason. But since the words had fallen off his lips, he'd felt a sense of freedom he kept chasing. Admitting to hate was easy, admitting to love was dangerous, risky. She didn't move, but her eyes twitched, her thoughts were racing behind those eyes. So he leaned in to kiss her, chaste and curt..and she kissed him back.
“It's true,” he said. She remained silent. For the rest of the way to S.H.I.E.L.D. and he held her hand the whole time.
One the ground it was instant chaos, S.H.I.E.L.D. kept up appearances of being surprised and shots flew left and right but if you knew they'd been prepared you could see them, hidden stashes of weapons, the agents knowing their way around the compound (specifically picked out for this face-off) by heart and fought vigorously, some to their dying breath. Hydra was merciless but did not have the clear upper hand despite their higher numbers. Skye made people fly left and right, lightly enough not to hurt her people severely but hard enough to break up fights that go a little too narrow.
He always had his eyes on her and they fought their way through the building until their section of Hydra came upon Kara, Coulson, May, Hunter, Bobbi and Mac. He had gathered that Fitzsimmons had been taken to a safe place for the time being. Probably much to their dismay. But Ward was glad that he did not have to worry about them too. He found Kara and brushed against her as a way of saying hello and that, if it came to it, he'd have her back too.
Bullets were flying all the same, people seeking shelter behind toppled over desks and trying to get as many hits in as they could. And Skye was right in the middle, mock-fighting May in what Ward suspected was a training routine. Once Coulson said the word, they would turn on Hydra and he would take down as many as he could while trying to keep up with everyone who turned their sights on Skye.
Soon enough the word came and the stakes changed, Grant and Skye visibly aligned themselves with S.H.I.E.L.D. and all hell broke loose, Skye was holding her own, albeit making the room shake. But then he saw it, another operative taking aim and Skye not paying attention because she was engaged otherwise, trying to manoeuvre the separate fights of her team.
The second the gun went off, Grant was at her back and he hardly registered the blasts, only when they knocked him into her and he heard a distant scream, felt her turn them around, felt another knock back but this time it was Skye who was hit. She had caught a bullet that would've gotten him, straight in the heart. His knees gave out.
**
“NO!”, Skye screamed the second she understood what happened, that Ward had just took two bullets to the chest that would've hit her in the back. She acted on pure instinct, turning them around and there was a whisk of air and she felt herself nearly toppling over. A searing pain she barely felt and then Ward fell to the ground. She went down with him, immediately pushing her hands onto his wound, blood spreading quickly.
“Ward, Ward, come on,” Skye said and he opened his eyes.
“You're hurt,” he said, reaching up to her face, “I'm sorry.”
“No, no, it's fine, don't worry,” she said, “don't worry.”
“Skye,” he breathed, “I love you.”
And then his had fell from her face and he went limp.
Skye screeched, not knowing how to contain herself.
“FLOOR!” she screamed, the codeword that told her team to drop down because she would do the blow up, she would tear this place apart. She saw Coulson and the rest drop, seek cover and then she stood and flexed her arms and then she let go.
Skye felt the ground gave way – or maybe she started to float, she didn't know. She just felt her power surging through her, growing, growing until she exploded. She did not see what happened, only felt the energy. She didn't see the Hydra people flying about, the windows blowing up in the whole building, didn't know that the pulse she sent through the compound hit Hydra so unprepared that the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents got the upper hand and killed many and drew the rest away, scrambling to get back to their planes.
When it was over, she was empty. She fell back to the floor, her shoulder hurting so bad, tears ran down her face. She didn't care, she crawled to Ward, finding his wounds again and she pressed down on them. Madly, crying, sobbing, until they tore them apart and took him away.
**
Skye broke into a run on the way down to the sick bay, Jemma had told her just a minute a go that Ward was awake and asking for her. She did not linger to sort through the wave of conflicting emotions that flooded her brain, she just went to him. Kara passed her on the way, a slightly sad smile on her lips.
“How is he?” Skye asked.
“Good, all things considered,” she said, “he'll be happy to see you.”
“Thank you,” Skye said, feeling a pang of guilt and went on.
Ward was propped up on a couple of pillows with his eyes closed when she entered. She said his name softly and he fluttered to life, a bright smile that tugged uncomfortably at her heart.
“You're alive,” he said.
“So are you,” she replied and sat down on his bed, “You look good.”
“Yeah, no,” he laughed, bruised from top to bottom, “Jemma said I was out for eight days.”
“Eight very long days,” Skye said, “Your heart stopped. Twice.”
“Heard that too,” Ward said.
“But I learned a new skill,” Skye smiled and concentrated on his chest, on the ever-working, pumping muscle tucked away in his ribcage and made it beat twice on one beat. Ward gasped and looked at her bewildered.
“You did this?”
“Yup,” she nodded.
“You brought me back?”
“Twice.”
“And you took a bullet in the shoulder,” he said, nodding toward her arm in the sling.
“You took two for me,” she said.
“That makes six between the both of us,” he smiled, and he touched his side with a wink.
“You're terrible,” Skye said and rolled her eyes, “but you know, you double-cross me, I shoot you, we double-cross together, you take some bullets, I take a bullet and keep your heart beating. Even Steven.”
“Even Steven,” Ward echoed and took her hand, “It's more than that though.”
He waited until she gave him a curt nod, he had his serious face on, the one that screamed declaration.
“I pledge my life and my loyalty to you, Skye, from here on out..I will do whatever it takes to keep you save, I'll always tell you the truth, I'll always be loyal to you. I'm on your side, by your side if you want me to be,” he stared at her intently, waiting for it all to register but she stayed still. In a slightly lower voice, almost pleading, he added; “Do you believe me now?”
Skye weighed it all in her head. So much had happened, so many things she hadn't sorted through yet. Feelings for him that ranged from weariness to something that bordered dangerously close to love.
“I don't know,” she said truthfully and his face sunk ever so slightly, “but you know that I can switch off your heart like a light if you ever mess with me or my team again.”
She was testy, deliberately and maybe not entirely fair, given his condition, but the way he would react to this was important.
He surprised her by smiling; “So now you literally have my heart in your hands, Daisy Johnson.”
“Don't call me that,” she said.
“Skye,” he grinned, “Just Skye, my heart is yours to do with as you please.”
“You're terrible,” she said again and almost felt like giggling, “try to get some sleep.”
“Skye,” he held on tighter to her hand, “will you stay with me?”
“I'm not going anywhere, Grant” she squeezed it and then turned to lie beside him, hand on that heart of is. Its beat was strong, slightly elevated but steady.
“I like that,” he said.
“What?”
“The way you say my name,” he answered and she could almost hear that he had closed his eyes, “like you don't want to kill me.”
“I might still,” she teased and tapped down on his chest with two fingers. He chuckled softly and then he slept.
**
Three stories up, in Coulson's office, he and Agent Melinda May stood in front of his screen, looking at the live feed of Ward and Skye lying side by side in his sick bed.
“I don't like this,” she said, her brow deeply furrowed.
“Neither do I,” said Coulson, “but it's her life.”
“I don't trust him,” she said.
“If he ever gets out of line, Skye can take him out..she can defend herself,” Coulson said, “plus I really do believe he loves her. The way he caught those bullets...he was willing and ready to die for her.”
“Well, if he crosses us or hurts her ever again, he'll have to,” said May humorless, “and I'll make sure he knows it.”