Chapter Text
“JUST LEAVE ME ALONE NOW! I DON’T WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN! GO”
…
She opened her eyes rapidly, her breathing erratic and loud, she could feel tears running down her face, not as much this time or as overflowing, maybe she was better at dealing with this, or maybe she was running out of them, for her…
Those words kept ringing in her head over and over again, for almost…almost a year now…has it really been this long?
She didn’t meant those words, that’s what she kept telling herself but truth is, at the moment, she did, it wasn’t her fault she was under incredible amounts of stress at that moment, her father being an incredible source of it and she was having a heated discussion at the moment with him and-it really was no excuse was it…she lashed out at someone who didn’t deserve it.
And now she's gone.
She looked up at the bed dangling above her, she expected it to swing alive at any moment and her partner, her friend, to pop out her head from the side and greet her, to wish her a good day and jump down with almost unlimited energy, and just ramble and ramble about nothing to her, about some book she read or some crazy idea she wanted to try out training later today or not caring about an exam or project they had later. She turned her gaze to the side of the room, she wanted to stop looking at it, being reminded of its emptiness, or maybe she hoped she would see her leg or arm dangling as she slept, or her face and silver eyes gazing at her, asking why were her eyes red and why was she crying and doing something to remedy it.
But, she's gone.
Her gaze is met by a pair of bunk beds instead, the remaining members of the team,she wondered how they could sleep, maybe they just accepted it, at least it seemed like Blake did, at first she spent countless nights by herself, looking at news reports or reading about grimm,reading texts from Ruby trying to figure out what happened, she could tell Blake wanted to go away be by herself and try and fix by her own, Professor Ozpin had to talk to her for hours to get her to stay and become RWBY’s new leader. She did her best to keep the team going through fights with the grimm, which had become a true test for the three of them, even when other teams were there for support the grimm had become more savage and overwhelming, some fights ending in a desperate retreat…maybe that's how she-
No, she wouldn’t have fallen so easily…she could have run, she was faster than any grimm and smarter…
She shook her head, thinking about it was not helpful, she wanted to believe there was a chance she was still out there somewhere but …she couldn’t, Yang sure did, the weeks after her disappearance, Yang went looking for her not letting anyone stand in her way, she came back soon, or rather they had to get her out barely alive from a grimm attack,that’s when they discovered how much worse they've become. Something happened that day, she lost some of the fire in her, maybe it was the beating she received or the realization that…she was gone…she’s still here at least, deep down she knows Ruby is still out there, everyone wants to believe that, her more than anyone except Yang but she knows that with each passing day it's just, a dream. One Yang refused to let go of (like Ruby’s tattered cloak, all they found alongside the remains of crescent moon) , she had become distant, quiet,easy to anger, she understood her perfectly and didn’t blame her at all, not even when she gave a (well deserved or at least that's how she saw it) black eye for days for what she said that day, she wanted to keep looking but they had managed to convince her that it'd be better if she remained at beacon, her dad and uncle told them they’d still look for her and wouldn’t give up, she honestly thinks they were just telling Yang stuff so she’d stay put, Blake had taken as another one of her many new duties was to make sure Yang stayed put and out of harm’s ways.
She herself wasn't faring any better, if Ruby could see her now she’d be the one appalled by the sight, she barely ate, sleep was hard to come by, so most nights were spent looking at the now empty bed or at the wall, her grades had surprisingly stood up but she had the suspicion that the academy was taking pity on the three of them, combat was the one thing she was still taking seriously, it was the moment she could release her anger and frustration upon the grimm, the most likely culprits behind Ruby’s disappearance, besides herself that is, she truly didn’t meant those words, she wanted nothing more than to say all those things Ruby wanted to say back at her, she picked the worst moment that's it, had she come earlier or later once she calmed down, they’d had hugged and kissed and do whatever it is couples do and if she kept repeating to herself that it wasn’t her fault maybe she’d believe it one day, she was cruel to her that day, when one of them finally decided to make a move and say what both of them wished the other would say and do, she screamed at her, shoved her away and called her an idiot, not a dolt, an idiot.
How was she supposed to know those would be the last words she’d ever say to her?
If someone was to blame it was her, she was her partner and it took her until Ruby had disappeared from the face of the earth to notice she was acting erratically, she was distracted and confused a lot of the time, missing class and meetings,trainings she herself had set up for the team, or calling them asking where they were or arriving at their room asking why they missed the sparring session or why they left her hanging out by herself when they had agreed to meet up in Vale, only to be told those appointments were never made.
Her stuff started going missing,it was nothing big at first, a misplaced notebook or some of her pencils and pens vanishing into thin air, only to show up days later much to Ruby’s surprise, it got bad when people’s stuff went missing around Ruby, most attributed it to her being clumsy or her childish demeanor but it was easy to tell people were starting to get wary of her, keeping their stuff closer to them when she was around, she knew it wasn’t her, she’d never do that, Ruby even began sleeping with Crescent Rose out of fear someone would swipe it…
That’s when her partner slept at all, there were nights when she would be woken up by rustling above her, finding Ruby wide awake, when asked she would just say she woke up to get some water, the signs had been there and she was too self absorbed to notice, maybe the stresses of being the leader finally got to her, maybe this was building up for a while and they all ignored.
She hates the thought of it but what if she just didn’t ran off, what if she just couldn’t take it anymore an-no no no no, she’d never do that, something else must have happened to her, it didn’t made any sense there were no traces of her or at least none that would make sense they eventually found her cloak among some trees in some nearby woods and,and crescent rose, broken…
She wouldn’t have done either of those, something must have happened, she wouldn’t just throw those away would she…would she?
She looked at the window as a light caught her attention, the sun was coming up, so it meant time for Penny’s daily ritual. She would be on the streets planting missing posters for Ruby before class began, everyone was coping on their one way but Penny’s…it hurt…it was a reminder of how she was gone, her smiling face everywhere, it was comforting at first but just seeing her on lamposts or some back alley wall it crushed her every time, not helping was that she was being kept company, tons of kids around their own age had been missing, posters similar to Ruby being hung around, Penny to her credit helped hung the posters for other missing teens, Penny and Yang had been talking over this, maybe they have to do with ruby’s disappearance, it couldn’t be a coincidence, a spike in grimm attacks and missing teens, except as her own sister explained, this kind of things just happen, she didn’t knew who to believe or rather who she wanted to believe, she’d love to have a chance of reuniting with Ruby to apologize and hold her and kiss her and tell her how she also felt about her, how she loved, how much she showed her and how much she had helped and and …but a part of her didn’t believed it, she knew she was gone.
She was gone.