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Kaede got back from a long day, exhausted. She shut her door to her room, placed her belongings down, and sighed as she sat on the edge of her bed. She’s been so busy with school, it feels like she goes to class most of the day, hangs out with friends or goes to the library to do homework and study after, plays the piano in the free time she has, and then goes to her dorm to sleep and start it all over again the next day.
She put her head in her hands, and then squished her face and sighed. She didn’t want to do what she was about to do, but she couldn't resist. She stood up and walked over to her mirror, seeing her full body reflected back at her. Her face didn’t seem as defined as it once was, her shirt tighter against her chest and especially her stomach, which poked out over her skirt, where underneath her thighs touched.
Her genetics leaned to her being somewhat chubby, and due to her sedentary lifestyle, she had felt larger than the last time she truly looked at herself. Because of how busy she had been recently, she hadn’t been exercising besides her fingers really. A feeling burned inside of her, one she would never feel for another person, disgust.
She was in the worst way obsessed now. She walked away to get her pajamas, but was drawn back to the mirror where she watched herself undress. Red marks from her tighter underwear and stretch marks slowly creeping on her sides. She watched herself jiggle with every bit she moved, mainly her stomach was her main concern. That was the place where most of her weight went, with some still going to her chest and thighs, but those places are deemed acceptable by society. Being thick with a flat stomach is the way to being seen as attractive.
She slowly went and poked her side, watching it indent and bounce back out once she removed her finger. She did this a few times before being satisfied, finishing getting dressed as she laid in her bed. She stared at the ceiling, thoughts forming in her head of how awful and gross she looked.
Somehow Kaede slept that night, though she doesn’t remember when she finally passed out. She turned her head to look at the time, noticing she was up earlier than usual and could sleep more if she wanted to. As she debated, she heard footsteps outside, the sound of heels clicking against the floor. Knowing what room she was next to and who had heels on their boots, she groaned.
Oh God no, anyone but Miu.
Miu was the opposite of Kaede. While Kaede hyped up others but hated herself, Miu was insulting others and always complimenting herself on her brains and her beauty. She had curves in all the right places, not the wrong ones. Kaede could admit it, Miu was like she said, a ‘gorgeous girl genius’.
She wasn’t sure if she admired her for just her looks like a creep would, or if she had a teeny tiny crush on Miu with just a bit of jealousy. It’s not like she only found her attractive because of her looks, Miu had a personality under her demeanor. Her and Miu got along for the most part, or as much as you truly can with Miu, but she wouldn’t forget one conversation they did have. It was one of their first interactions, and Kaede knows how Miu can be, saying crude things she didn’t mean, but she still couldn’t forget it.
They had been talking before about something but Miu commented on Kaede’s chest, wanting to change the subject and argue with her apparently.
“How 'bout you start talkin' about something that'll interest me? You got no boobs and nothin' interesting to say! You're fuckin' hopeless!” Miu went on and on with Kaede not responding or reacting to her statements.
“Hah-hahaha! Poor widdle Kaede and her sad, sour, dumpy tits!” She insulted her.
Kaede finally responded back bitterly. “Wha-!? Wh-Who are you calling sad, sour, dumpy tits, huh!?”
Miu went meek, surprised by Kaede’s attitude. “Heeeee!? Wh-What the-!? Don't shout all of a sudden... You know how fuckin' rude that is?”
“You're the rude one here! I was holding it in, but this is the last straw!”
"Huh? Oh, I get it. Don't tell me…” Miu paused. “You're jealous of my fine sexy body! Ha-hahaha!”
Kaede’s face grew red. “Boobs are just lumps of fat!” Kaede quickly exclaimed once Miu got her thoughts out.
“That's what all the jealous titless bitches say! Why don'tcha go cry about it, muffin top!?”
Kaede looked down quickly at herself and stumbled. “I-I don't have a muffin top…”
Miu kept going. “Pianists don't hafta do any physical or mental activity. That's why they're all fatasses, huh?”
“God, Miu! Some things are best left unsaid!” Kaede huffed and stormed away from Miu and out of the conversation.
Hearing Miu walk around outside made the memory resurface in Kaede’s mind. She snapped back to reality and started to get out of bed and ready for the day. When getting dressed she again watched her body in the mirror. She wanted to get something to eat, especially if that was before anyone else was there, but she felt she shouldn’t. She decided to eat just something small to hold her over for the day.
She walked through the empty halls before reaching the dining hall which to her surprise, was not empty. Miu sat in the middle of the dining hall, eyes glued to her phone while eating breakfast. She didn’t even look up when Kaede walked in.
“Now what do I do…” Kaede mumbled under her breath. She didn’t want Miu to insult her while she ate. Maybe she could just make herself lose her appetite.
As Kaede stood in the doorway, Miu laughed loudly at whatever she had on her phone and looked up.
“Hey! Why are you up so early Kaediot?” Miu questioned her, putting her phone away.
Kaede was startled out of her thoughts and jumped, Miu laughing.
“Jeez, sorry. I just woke up and couldn’t sleep again.” Kaede went and sat across from her, feeling it would be awkward if she sat further away.
“But this isn’t like you, I mean it’s not like you waste your fuckin’ life away by sleeping but you usually still try to get an average amount of sleep.”
“Uh… How do you know that Miu?”
“It’s not like I stalk you or anything!” Miu spat and got embarrassed. “S-sleep is something stupid most people have to do, and you must get the amount that’s reccomended, you’re always in your dorm at night and I don’t see you early like this.”
While Miu kept speaking, Kaede started to put the pieces together that Miu must not sleep much. Maybe that’s why she’s so insufferable at times. Sleep deprivation is no joke, but that can also be said about skipping meals. Kaede's stomach growled, her hands quickly went to her stomach to hold and hide it while she got embarrassed.
Miu spoke up again “Oh that must be why! Your stomach must be speaking for your head and making you get up and get your ass here!”
Kaede clutched her hands around her tighter, Miu could have said worse but she wished she hadn’t spoken at all.
“I-I guess so…” Kaede trailed off. She knew it wasn’t good but she hadn’t eaten since breakfast yesterday, which meant it had almost been 24 hours. She felt off, but was still living so it must have been fine.
Miu looked at her, she couldn't see herself clutching her stomach from her side of the table, but saw the discomfort in Kaede’s face.
“Are you doing alright? You don’t look too hot, well compared to usual I’m not calling you fuckin’ hot.”
Kaede’s stomach growled again, more intensely this time. Kaede whimpered and looked away, trying to avoid Miu as much as possible. She didn’t want to hear Miu call her a fatass or something along those lines. She wishes she could just disappear from this universe. She gripped her stomach tighter instead of blocking her ears, preparing herself for what Miu might throw at her.
“Earth to dumbass!”
When Kaede looked up, she watched Miu place a tray filled with food in front of her, then sitting next to her instead of across from her.
Miu crossed her arms and spoke. “I don’t know what’s going on, and I’m not good with people, but things aren’t adding up. You’re not talking shit back, and you look god-awful and not in a good way. I don’t know what you like so I got a bunch of everything. Now eat up.”
Kaede stared at the food, and was baffled at Miu’s kind gesture.
“P-please…” Miu mumbled.
Kaede didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to upset Miu and was grateful for her gesture, but she couldn't let herself eat in front of Miu. What if Miu found her gross for eating so much? Kaede was starving and could probably eat most of what Miu brought rather than a bit like she planned but she was running on an empty stomach. Kaede more and more was in her mind, Miu waiting anxiously for her to eat, and then Kaede didn’t feel anything anymore and her brain stopped with the thoughts.
A loud thud could be heard to anyone nearby, which luckily was no one, and a shriek.
…
When Kaede regained consciousness again, she noticed she was in her room. She slowly sat up, head pounding and looked around.
“Where... Huh? I was in the dining hall. Why am I back here? Ow… ” She spoke to herself, her hand rubbing her head trying to get the pain to go away.
“You blacked out.” Miu spoke, Kaede turning her head to see Miu sitting at her desk chair.
“M-Miu?” Kaede rubbed her eyes. Before she could speak again, Miu spoke.
“Yes, now what the hell has been up with you!?”
“Can you please tell me what happened first? I'm so confused.”
Miu sighed, she knew both of them couldn't just magically be back in Kaede’s room from what happened before without an explanation, so she gave her one.
“You had woken up early and gone to the dining hall, and I was there like I usually am. I was surprised you were there and you said you woke up early and couldn’t sleep or some shit. Then you seemed hungry but wouldn't get up and get food, you were more frozen in place so like the great person I am, I got you some but then you fell back and yeah.”
“So that’s why my head hurts… but how am I back here?”
“I panicked and tried to lift you but couldn’t and was honestly scared to and still had no idea what the fuck to do so I ran to get some of the others and luckily found people to get you back here while I guided them.”
Kaede was feeling insecure again, as she looked down at herself and instinctively put her hands over her stomach, as her stomach was still there, still sticking out like it had been doing.
“That again, what does that mean?” Miu commented.
“Shit…” Kaede mumbled under her breath. “I just…” Her grip got tighter again.
Miu moved closer to where Kaede was and put her hands on Kaede’s. Kaede blushed at the contact, but didn’t want Miu anywhere near where she was insecure about, she started to push her hands away, but that got her to release her grip on her stomach. Miu looked quickly and realized why Kaede was acting the way she was.
“Alright, alright, but what I wanted to happen worked. I don’t think I can get you to eat now but I got an idea. You should really listen to me” Miu motioned Kaede to get up. Kaede crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head no.
“I know why you’re acting this stupidly, and I don’t wanna see you like that anymore! I wanna help you! Now who or what’s making you feel that way!?” Miu 'threatened’ her, knowing it had something to do with her body but still truly not understanding everything about it.
“Me…” Kaede slowly got up as Miu wanted, but craved the negativity she had felt inside of her. She felt every inch of her body as she rose.
“You’ve probably seen it huh? Especially someone as hung up on how beautiful and fuckable they are like you!” Kaede exclaimed and Miu’s face fell. She was about to argue back before Kaede kept going.
“I’ve gained weight, it’s noticeable, and I’m so disgusting. How is anyone supposed to like me when I’m like this, and I definitely don’t like myself. I just pretend everything’s fine day to day while I get bigger everywhere and my mind keeps hating myself more! I’m the worst, and the only way I can fix it as I’m so busy is to starve myself and then I’ll be great again, r-right? I know e-everyone’s silently judging me, and y-you even called me a f-fatass once and you’re rig-”
Miu went in to hug her, but Kaede pushed her away.
“Don’t touch me, I'm disgusting!” She turned to the mirror and started to cry.
Miu didn’t know what to do. She didn’t mean any of what Kaede thought, and she knew people loved Kaede and didn’t secretly hate her.
Miu moved behind her while she sobbed uncontrollably, and put her hands on Kaede’s stomach, embracing her from behind. Kaede tried to fight it but Miu wasn’t letting go this time, and she sunk into Miu’s touch. Miu thought hard before speaking.
“I’m sorry for what I said, I didn’t mean any of it. I’m sorry it started eating up at you like this. I don’t want your brain to eat you, you need to eat to supply good stuff for that lovely brain of yours to be happy again. Nobody hates you, you’re so inspiring and helpful for everyone, your brain is just being mean to you but also I’m sorry as I started it.”
Kaede started to calm down, “I-I started it by gaining weight, and how do you know people don’t hate me?”
“Shh. I did. I put those bad thoughts in your head. And trust me, unlike me, people always talk fondly of you and you’re very helpful and sweet to everyone, you deserve that love too Kaede…”
“Did Miu just insult herself to make me feel better? She only ever does the reverse…” Kaede thought to herself and smiled.
“You’re still great too Miu…” She smiled a bit and a blush grew on her face, the same for the other girl.”
“H-hey, I know I’m amazing but this isn’t about me, I want you to know you’re amazing. So is this what you’re so worried about?” Miu softly poked Kaede’s stomach, Kaede totally forgetting Miu’s hands were there and her arms wrapped around her waist. She tried to squirm herself out but it was no use. She gave up and nodded.
“H-how many people were n-needed to carry me back?” She hesitantly asked.
“Not important, you’re probably thinking a dumb number like 69 anyway which isn’t even close to the truth.” Kaede laughed at the ridiculous number Miu brought up.
Miu rubbed her hands a bit on Kaede’s stomach while Kaede winced, Miu not stopping until Kaede did.
“I’m trying to show you it’s okay you dumbass.” Miu sighed, but enjoyed how nice Kaede felt and just being in the company of others.
Kaede had also enjoyed having Miu touch her. “I really didn’t want anyone to but I’m glad it’s at least this girl I like. Wait, I did not just think that” She flustered herself with her thoughts as Miu started to walk backwards still with a grip on Kaede’s waist and Kaede went with her.
Miu sat herself on Kaede’s bed, hands still on Kaede while Kaede turned her head back to see what Miu did.
“H-huh?” Kaede’s face grew more red.
“Just sit in my lap… I think it would help…” Miu looked away from Kaede. She did have this planned so it could help her, but she may or may have not wanted a cute girl in her lap.
“N-no! I’ll hurt you!” Kaede started to get anxious again and was trying to pull away from Miu.
“No you won’t, you are not a fatass and I’ll prove it!”
In contrast, Miu pulled Kaede closer to her until she lost her footing and fell into her lap. Kaede covered her whole face, embarrassed and hoped Miu was okay. When she turned her head and peeked an eye from the space between fingers, she saw Miu laughing.
“See, I told you that you weren’t heavy!” Miu again, wrapped her arms around Kaede.
“You’re gorgeous just like me” She slipped without even realizing it.
Kaede removed her hands from her face. “I am?”
“You are what?”
“You called me gorgeous?”
Miu froze and her face quickly went red, moving her hands now to play with her hair. “I uh it… fuck.” She didn’t know what to say and Kaede giggled.
“You’re really pretty… I know you don’t see it but I want you too. I know that sounded all cocky ‘cause that’s how I am, but I mean you’re gorgeous, just like how you see me as gorgeous. I don’t want you to worry ‘bout changing yourself for others, I like you for you”.
“I see…” Kaede slowly moved herself and turned her body so she was still in Miu’s lap, but now fully facing her. Both blushed while looking into each other’s eyes, hearts beating faster.
“Can I kiss you Miu?” Kaede asked, not afraid anymore.
“You like me?” Miu seemed taken aback.
“Mhm, dumbass. I always have, just seeing more of your soft side pushed me to say it.” Kaede smiled.
“Then just do it already!” Miu grinned, and her heart felt like it would explode out of her chest.
Kaede slowly brought her lips to Miu’s to close the distance as they kissed passionately, feeling comforted by each other’s presence.
“Thank you, Miu” Kaede smiled and said to her after her lips departed Miu’s. Miu could not get out any words, screaming internally.
Kaede let Miu do her thing and got up and found the tray Miu had prepared earlier in the dining hall for her on the desk. “I should probably eat something now, I’m really hungry”.
“I’ll feed you like the goddess you are if you want… Sounds romantic…” Miu cupped her face with her hands while muttering all that stuff, Kaede overhearing and laughing.
“If that’s what you really want to do, I won’t say no~” Kaede teased and popped something in her mouth.
“If it helps you get more comfortable…” Miu trailed off, embarrassed Kaede had heard her.
“I like you touching me, that makes me feel comfortable in my skin.”
“O-oh you wanna fuck?!” Miu exclaimed and added a fake moan.
“N-no! I meant just physical touch like love language… God you’re so dumb.”
“Only for you, ha-ha!” She laughed. “Now please eat something. I also promise you we can work on it together. Some days you may have bad days and not like yourself or wanna eat, but I’ll be here always okay? I’ll reassure you.”
“Of course, I know I can do it.” Kaede did her signature fist pumps and had given herself some positivity! She brought the tray over to where Miu was and sat next to her on the bed.
“Now, are you gonna keep to your word? It sounds cute, like breakfast in bed but you’re spoiling me.” Kaede waited for Miu’s answer.
“Anything for you”.