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love guru <3 @luvguruseoul
"im giving my boyfriend the silent treatment bc he didnt eat the eggs i spent over an hour on. i whipped them ONE THOUSAND times (i counted). also last weekend he flooded our apartment with monster energy drinks for 'scientific reasons' and then tried to clean it up by laying on the wet floor and hoping it absorbs through his pores" – anon
→ parkhwa: I can't tell if this is a joke or not and I honestly don't want to know.
→ joong: first of all WHAT.
→ woohyena: anon dump his ass for me
→ mingki: WHY ONE THOUSAND TIMES
love guru <3 @luvguruseoul
"hello I am the boyfriend of the anon in the previous post ! I WOULD JUST LIKE TO DEFEND MYSELF BY SAYING THAT THE EGGS WERE. BROWN. AND LOOKED LIKE POTATO PANCAKES. THEYRE EGGS BABE. PLUS ITS NOT LIKE I DIDNT EAT THEM. YOU WERE THERE WHEN THE HOSPITAL HAD TO PUMP MY STOMACH. also pls respond to me im sorry :(" – mountain
→ jonghohoho: i was having a good day before this. why.
→ woohyena: AINT NO WAY MY GUY ARE YOU OKAY?????
→ joong: WHY ARENT YOU ADDRESSING THE MONSTER APARTMENT FLOODAHUQBWHQQ
→ mingki: HELP THIS IS SO FUNNY @ yuyu U GOTTA SEE THIS
→ yuyu: IM CRYING THE APOLOGY AT THE END IS SO FUCKING FUNNY
love guru <3 @luvguruseoul
"YOU DIDNT GET SICK FROM THE EGGS YOU GOT SICK BECAUSE YOU TRIED TO DRINK A BATHTUBS WORTH OF MONSTER. YOU PLANNED YOUR OWN DEMISE YOU POSSUM." – anon
→ felixie: NAUR WHY IS THE ENTIRE CAMPUS JUST WATCHING THESE 2 FIGHT THROUGH A LOVE CONFESSIONS ACCOUNT
→ woohyena: HELP DID THE EGGS AND MONSTER INCIDENT HAPPEN ON THE SAME DAY
→ parkhwa: How did you two make it this far in life.
→ joong: I DONT EVEN HAVE ADVICE YOU TWO ARE A WHOLE CIRCUS
→ mingki: WHO CALLS THEIR BF A POSSUM
love guru <3 @luvguruseoul
(yall stop asking me who the couple in my inbox are 😭😭😭 i don't know either so just hope they make an update bc im just as invested as yall r)
love guru <3 @luvguruseoul
“guys its been a week he still isnt talking to me. HELP me please he has my cat (not bc he kidnapped her but bc my cat likes him better and just left w him) and I MISS MY BOYFRIEND. BABE MY APARTMENT DOESN’T SMELL LIKE MONSTER ENERGY ANYMORE COME BACK.” – mountain
→ parkhwa: The fact that your cat likes your boyfriend more than she likes you says a lot.
→ felixie: LMAOOOOO
→ woohyena: the way no one in the comments is helping him im sobbing
→ joong: maybe you should bribe him idk that always works
→ parkwa: Squints.
→ joong: haha no babe i totally don’t bribe you
love guru <3 @luvguruseoul
“i’m not mad at you anymore but it’s just entertaining seeing you run around campus trying to find where i went lol.” – anon
→ jonghohoho: this is peak sadism anon i strive to be u
→ woohyena: this is the relationship i want. he chases after me like a love stricken fool and i laugh.
→ yuyu: @mingki why aren’t u this romantic with me
→ mingki: i literally ran head first into a wall because you told me it was one of those fake bugs bunny ones.
→ yuyu: you laughed tho didnt u :((((
→ mingki: it was the concussion
love guru <3 @luvguruseoul
"new approach: BABE……………. IF U DONT RESPOND TO ME………. WHO WILL I BRING TO THE BTS CONCERT…………. TOO BAD I GOT FRONT ROW SEATS TO SEE TAEHYUNGS ABS HUH……… GUESS YOU WONT EVER GET TO DO THE HI TOUCH…….” – mountain
→ felixie: anon pls just accept ur bf’s tickets or else i’ll be his bf
→ woohyena: MOUNTAIN WHOEVER U R I WILL TREAT U RIGHT PLS I FOUGHT TOOTH AND NAIL IN LINE AND I COULDNT EVEN GET THOSE TICKETS
→ parkhwa: @joong See how anon’s boyfriend bought them BTS TICKETS?
→ joong: mountain pls stop posting youre making me look bad im sorry i didnt get u those twice tickets hun
love guru <3 @luvguruseoul
“.
. . . . .
… . . . . .
i responded.” - anon
→ yuyu: nooooo don’t talk in dms haha your relationship is so sexy let us see too
→ woohyena: LMAOOOO THE ONLY THING THAT WORKED WAS THE BTS TICKETS
→ joong: is this the end of the most interesting twitter thread i’ve ever seen
→ felixie: they were my saturday night gossip damn
love guru <3 @luvguruseoul
(anon and ur bf pls come back and update us we miss u)
love guru <3 @luvguruseoul
“little update for u single furries: we got ice cream and he tried to skateboard while eating it and fell onto the pavement. and then i felt bad for him so i bought him another one but that one fell on the ground too bc i was trying to rush to bring it to him. anyways he forgave me and we’re gonna netflix and chill later if u catch what i mean ;)))))))))” – mountain
→ felixie: are all of your dates this chaotic
→ jonghoho: no one needed to know your plans to netflix and chill some of us dont have dates
→ woohyena: now i NEED to know how u guys met like how does this even just happen
→ joong: are your combined brain cells a total of 4?????????
→ mingki: for ur INFORMATION i am a furry in a relationship
→ yuyu: BABY WTF ????
love guru <3 @luvguruseoul
“why is everyone so interested in our relationship. anyways i came back to say that we met in our second year of uni. i was modelling for a small show and he spit coffee on me. he spit coffee on me. im sure he’ll come on here to defend himself and explain.” – anon
→ joong: he spit what on you now
→ woohyena: im literally crying how am i the one thats single
→ woohyena: double comment because there is no way mountain got a model boyfriend and i have an empty tinder notif
→ jonghohoho: HE SPIT COFFEE ON YOU?
love guru <3 @luvguruseoul
“babe pls stop exposing me on the internet :((((( guys i spit out my coffee bc he was pretty n adorable :((((( have u ever seen a jigglypuff :(((((( thats my bf guys :(((((“ – mountain
→ parkhwa: Did you just… call your boyfriend a pokemon?
→ joong: I’m not even as down bad as you are
→ woohyena: “a jigglypuff” HELP
love guru <3 @luvguruseoul
“im not a jigglypuff im something cooler like maybe a garchomp. or a charizard.” – anon
→ woohyena: how bored are we that we’re willingly watching a couple engage in a pokemon debate
→ mingki: theyre a very odd and entertaining couple
→ parkhwa: It’s like one of those species observation experiments.
→ yuyu: HELP SEOGHWA HYUNG WHAT
→ jonghohoho: anon from what i can tell, you are definitely a jigglypuff
→ felixie: im sorry to break the news anon…………………but you have been diagnosed by the internet as jigglypuff
love guru <3 @luvguruseoul
“we can agree to disagree babe btw can u come pick to my apartment i have a lil surprise for u” – mountain
→ mingki: IF YALL FLIRT ONE MORE TIME
→ woohyena: i liked it better when u two were fighting tbh
→ felixie: damn yall really showing ur single rn
→ mingki: im the only one here (aside from hwa hyung n hongjoong hyung) that has a bf. shut up felix.
→ felixie: hoes mad
→ parkhwa: This is so cute. Highlight of my night
→ joong: what about me
→ parkhwa: What about you
love guru <3 @luvguruseoul
“my. my. my dumbass. my dumbass boyfriend. he. he. he. he-” – anon
→ woohyena: its ok bestie take ur time
→ parkhwa: Grammar is hard, we get it.
→ joong: you are in a safe space anon speak your mind
→ felixie: this tweet is the most interesting thing thats happened to me this week
→ jonghohoho: anon spit it out
love guru <3 @luvguruseoul
“look. look at thi s little heart candle he bought em ims oin love with him oh ymg od” – anon
→ woohyena: im so happy for you! *deletes my social media and moves to another state*
→ joong: i hope you two find out youre related :’)
→ felixie: i hate both of you and i regret ever keeping up with this twitter thread
→ parkhwa: That’s wonderful anon :)
→ mingki: WHY IS THIS SO CUTE HELP
→ yuyu: your relationship is so cute! *curses both of you*
→ jonghohoho: never post again anon. im too single for this.