Work Text:
Transcendent
.
“No matter how it ends up, I’m going forward with you”
There he was, with his back turned to human interaction, sitting down, and contemplating that breath-taking, unexplored mountainous view. A dark silhouette amid savage nature.
Wu Xie approached Xiaoge and sat down, resting his arms on his raised knees. He remained silent, absorbing appreciatively the colours, the sounds and all the life surrounding them. However, most of all, he focused avidly on Xiaoge’s presence. Wu Xie noticed and couldn’t ignore the subtle hint of heaviness on the other man’s shoulders which would be imperceptible to anyone else. Even if he ever could do it, he’d still never do it.
He'd never, ever ignore anything related to Xiaoge, much less Xiaoge himself.
“You’re apprehensive.”
Hidden by his large, raised hoodie, Xiaoge's eyes blinked without Wu Xie realizing it, but he didn't need to see a reaction to know that he had been heard. Wu Xie thought for a moment how he should phrase his question until he concluded that the answer was obvious: it didn’t matter which words he chose; any word about this matter would certainly, inevitably, bring pain. He recalled that night near the bonfire, so many years ago. Decades had passed since then, but Wu Xie still remembered it vividly; Xiaoge’s aching words still ghostly echoed in his head: “I don’t have a past nor a future. If I’m gone from this world, no one will notice it.”
That was not true. As he tried out to voice his words carefully, gently and full of tenderness, Wu Xie hoped that now, after all those years, Xiaoge knew that.
“Are you concerned because… the time might be approaching?”
“Hm.”
“I’ll be here.” The incredible feeling of gratitude for being able to wait for Xiaoge one more time punctuated the meaning behind his words and made his voice melt. He was aware that this fact might only eventually provide a small amount of comfort to Xiaoge due to the complexity and impact of the situation in his life, but Wu Xie felt thrilled that he was once again able to make his promise to Xiaoge.
The silence stretched out.
The black hoodie kept on hiding all of Xiaoge’s mesmerizing features.
However, when Xiaoge finally confessed it in his charismatic voice of steel with its usual melodic tones and a hint of private softness, Wu Xie didn't need to see him to feel him; to feel his powerful emotions.
“I don’t want to forget.”
“I’ll remember, all of it.”
“I don’t want to keep on forgetting us.”
“Xiaoge, I swear to you," Wu Xie reached out for Xiaoge’s covered neck to massage it. "I swear to you, I’ll remind you of us, I’ll keep on reminding you of us, always. You know I will.” He reassured as he knocked his head softly against Xiaoge’s hoodie, inhaling his refreshing and unique scent, sealing once again the same promise, the very same promise he’d make and keep until the day of his death, which he could no longer predict with accuracy. “I will be waiting for you, you will just have to find me again and try to fall in love with me again.” He concluded, grinning playfully to try to alleviate the burden on Xiaoge's shoulders at the same time he squeezed Xiaoge’s neck to let him understand Wu Xie's depth of commitment.
Xiaoge slightly turned his head towards the most beloved human being and parted his lips, breathing out the faintest of smiles. The complexity and different prisms of Wu Xie's personality were fascinating; as fascinating as those big, cunning, honestly sweet and endearing brown eyes.
He could have told Wu Xie that he had fallen for him the very first time he had laid his eyes on him - this time and any other time, he knew it, even though he had forgotten. He felt it in his bones. However, Xiaoge chose to keep this little secret to him this time, as he had always chosen to, unbeknownst.
Instead, he leaned on the touch and nuzzled his head against Wu Xie’s, giving his answer – “Wu Xie.” – to get an automatic reaction in return, filled with adoration – “If you cannot find me, I will find you. We will find each other, hm?"
Yes, the darkness was hovering, and the void threatened to engulf him. However, he would not get lost. He had a connection, he had the most powerful connection he could ever have had, and he had been given the blessing of having Wu Xie waiting for him once again, willing to rebuild and nurture the strongest of all relationships.
“Hm. Thank you.”
I love you.